


Dirty Blood

by somethingquitepeculiar



Series: Blood In The Cut [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actually Exists Peter Pettigrew, Angst, Angst and Humor, Artist James Potter, Banter, Comic Geek Remus Lupin, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Humor, Lily has friends, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Multi, No one dates the right person, Punk/Glam Sirius Black, Romance, Sarcasm, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2018-10-28 22:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 237,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10840977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingquitepeculiar/pseuds/somethingquitepeculiar
Summary: Magic was supposed to be whimsical, enchanting, fun. But it's 1975 and the self-proclaimed Dark Lord has other plans. Dark Marks are graffiti'ed across the sky as a warning, a threat.Hogwarts students try to focus on their schooling, their friends, and being a child while they can. But some of their parents remember Grindelwald and they recognize the signs. With fellow students practicing dark magic and friendships being tested, it's hard to ignore that their parents' war will soon be theirs.And yet, they still try, forcing light in the darkness and daring to laugh when others want to cry. After all, they aren't dead yet, and there's few things that would irritate the Dark Lord more than a bunch of blood traitors and muggleborns thriving in the face of his power. This is the story of those blood traitors, those half-bloods, those muggleborns, growing up and up to no good.





	1. Storms Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! Wow, it's been literally over ten years since I've written Marauders-era fanfiction and now that I've started this up again, I realize I still love it just as much as I did then. A few things before we get started! If you're here wondering why I haven't updated Fly Me Away, I know, and I'm sorry. I also feel like I need to mention that in this fandom there seems to be a division between those that are on "Team James" and those that are on "Team Snape." I just want you to know that I am very firmly on "Team James," and so if you are very, very fond of and sympathetic toward Snape, this may not be the story for you. Next, I am American, I have never been to Europe, I'm doing my best with the dialogue and shit here. Lastly, it has been a hot minute since I've actually read the books, so book and movie canon will probably get blurred sometimes, just let it happen.  
> \---  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or any of the associated trademark characters or storylines. I am not and do not claim to be affiliated with JK Rowling.

" _I like my coffee pure, just like my blood."_

* * *

**Chapter One: Storms Ahead**

* * *

Thunder echoed throughout the platform on this fine September first, the scarlet engine waiting patiently for students to board before it would trudge out into the rain and begin its journey. Fifteen-year-old Lily Evans jumped slightly at the sound, never much caring for thunder.

She recalled crawling into her sister's bed when she was younger and a particularly bad storm would come by. Petunia would sigh and say that the angels were just bowling, that was all. But she would still scoot over and let Lily stay in bed with her for the remainder of the night anyway.

Lily frowned at the thought. Her sister had done nothing resembling comforting ever since it was revealed that Lily was a witch. Anymore, when a storm hit, Lily would lie awake and listen to the sound of the thunder, trying to picture angels by herself.

"You're sure you packed everything, Poppet? All your books?" Lily's father asked, nudging her out of her memories.

"I should have. I re-checked my list at least four times," Lily said, hoping suddenly that she hadn't forgotten to put something _on_ her list.

"Got your pillow? I know you don't sleep well without it," her mother fussed.

"Yes, yes, I packed it this morning," Lily responded, now mentally going over her list of classes and the books required for each. She supposed if she forgot one, Marlene would let her borrow her copy, or perhaps Dorcas. Emmeline was awfully protective of her books, so Lily wasn't sure she would even ask.

Suddenly she was being pulled into her mother's arms (for perhaps the fifth time) and the girl warmly returned the embrace, knowing she wouldn't be able to experience the special sort of feeling that came with a mother's hug for at least a few months.

"Have fun, dear!" her mother said, starting to get teary as she did each year.

"Not too much fun," her father added with a smile, piling his own hug on top of the hug that was already ongoing. "You've got big exams this year right? Don't lose sight of that."

"I won't, Daddy," Lily said.

"Be sure you get enough sleep! I'm worried with those prefect duties—" her mother started.

"I'll be fine, I'll adapt," Lily said. Her parents finally released her from their grasp and each planted a kiss to her cheek.

"We hate to leave before you've even boarded the train, Poppet, but traffic is only going to get worse with the storm and we have to meet Petunia for lunch," her father said. Lily tried to keep herself from frowning. Petunia had come out to London a few months earlier to take a typing course. Her parents were meant to meet her new boyfriend today.

Lily had a strong suspicion that Petunia scheduled the lunch as she had, on the other side of town, as an excuse not to come see her off. Not to mention, it would get their parents to leave early.

The redhead forced a smile. "It's fine. Go. Give Tuney a hug for me?"

"Of course we will," her mother said, sneaking one more hug from her younger daughter. "Goodbye, Lily, have a good semester."

"Don't forget to write! Just don't send that old barn owl again, it crashed into my violets last time," said her father.

"I'll see if Dorcas will let me borrow her owl," Lily said. "Goodbye."

She waved to them and they waved in return before stepping through the portal to get off the platform. She felt a knot in her chest and swallowed. She had hoped that by the _fifth_ September first she said goodbye to her family she might not immediately feel homesick the moment they were no longer in sight.

"Lily, there you are!" came a voice from her right. She turned to see a girl with carefully curled brown hair heading her way. There were two white rats in a small travel cage atop a guitar case, atop her trunk, slumbering soundly, seeming unbothered by the slight jostling of their cage or the sounds around them.

"Em!" Lily said, instantly feeling better as Emmeline practically tackled her with a hug.

"Thank Merlin you're here, Dad dropped me off _ages_ ago and I was beginning to think you'd all abandoned me," Emmeline said.

"Oh, come now, that wouldn't be so bad. You'd still have Bruno and Boris here," Lily said, gesturing to the rat cage.

"It's true, but they never have any interesting input when I want to discuss politics with them," Emmeline said with a dramatic sigh. "So, I'll have to keep talking to you lot after all."

"What a shame," Lily smirked. "Do you know where the prefect compartment is?"

Emmeline, one of Lily's friends that actually had access to a phone, had called over the summer to say that she had been named prefect as well, for Ravenclaw.

"It's the first one in the front, I think. Any word on the other prefect in Gryffindor?"

"As long as it's not James Potter or Sirius Black, then I don't really care," Lily groaned, remembering that returning to school meant dealing with them again. It wasn't as though she _hated_ them, but their sense of humor was not one she shared.

Unfortunately, she seemed to be in the minority.

"Oh, Dumbledore wouldn't do that… would he?"

"That old bloke's got a batshit sense of humor, I wouldn't put it past him," said Marlene McKinnon with her distinctly Scottish accent as she snuck up on the two of them.

"Marly!" Lily and Emmeline said at once, each taking turns hugging the girl. Lily had just recently visited with her over the holiday but somehow that still seemed too long.

"Goody two-shoes, the both of you. What am I gonna do with myself the whole ride to school while you're off... _prefecting?"_ Marlene said dramatically. "We already lost Alice to the prefects last year!"

"I suppose you'll have to sit with Dorcas? Like every year?" Emmeline suggested.

"Oh, except this year we won't have to sit with Severus because Lily won't be in the compartment," Marlene said, her eyes lighting up at the notion.

"Come on, he's not that bad," Lily said with a slight pout. It bothered her a great deal that her friends didn't like Severus, nor did he particularly care for them.

Neither party bothered to hide these feelings.

"I don't think he would have sat with us anyway. He got here early and I saw him go off with his dark arts buddies, they're already on the train," Emmeline said.

"Oh, _no!"_ Marlene said sarcastically. She turned her attention to Lily. "He didn't get the badge too, did he? I can only imagine."

"No, Mulciber got the badge, I overheard them," Emmeline answered for Lily.

"Did you spend the morning eavesdropping?" Lily teased, though she cringed at the idea of Anthony Mulciber with a prefect's badge.

"It's not my fault people talk loudly near me," Emmeline shrugged.

Marlene seemed to have similar feelings at the thought of Mulciber the prefect, though. "He might actually be worse. At least Severus would just spend most of his time trying to get James expelled."

"Severus' life does not revolve around James Potter, he has plenty more going on," Lily said defensively.

"Yes, don't forget, he's got to pencil in time to make up dark spells because _Merlin knows_ if there's anything the world needs, it's more of those," Emmeline said dryly.

"He's also got to perfect his sneer and condescending tone for whenever he corrects someone in class. Super productive," Marlene nodded.

"I know he's fallen in with an… _awful_ crowd, and I don't condone it one bit, and I've _told_ him that. But it doesn't just cancel out my past with him, right? It doesn't just cancel out the fact that he's been my dear friend this whole time?" Lily said. She knew that Severus had wanted desperately to fit in with his housemates for ages, and now that he was, she saw less and less of her old friend.

Emmeline frowned. "I'm sorry, Lily, it's not right for us to just… pick on him like that in front of you. He just—"

"He's just _such a git,"_ Marlene groaned.

"I was going to say, he seems to almost be _trying_ to be unlikeable," Emmeline said, cocking a brow at Marlene. "But that doesn't make Lily's experience any less valid, I suppose, so, perhaps we should change the subject?"

Marlene looked as though she was _so ready_ to keep talking all about Severus Snape and his many, many faults, but instead exhaled, as though she had been holding these complaints in her lungs along with her breath, before nodding. "Fine, fine. He's still a git."

"Why don't we set our things on the train, find somewhere to change, and try to find Dorcas, hm?" Emmeline suggested. "And Alice."

"Alice will be wherever Frank is, no doubt," Lily snorted, beginning to walk with the other girls toward the train.

"She needs to just ask him out already. It's getting annoying," Marlene said, shaking her head.

"She keeps chickening out. I thought you lot were in the _brave_ house," said Emmeline.

"Have you seen Peter Pettigrew when there's a cat around?" laughed Marlene. "The sorting hat's sense of humor might be stranger than Dumbledore's!"

* * *

"Okay, so hear me out," Sirius said from aboard the train. James and Remus were on the platform, watching Peter attempt to lift his trunk up to Sirius, so that he might hoist it onboard. "Moony being a prefect is going to be a great thing for us."

"Why, because _one_ prefect won't give us detention?" James asked, stepping forward to help the clearly struggling Peter with his end of the trunk.

"You _won't_ give us detention, right?" Peter asked Remus, who was examining the prefect badge in his hand.

Remus scoffed. "No promises."

"We wouldn't give _you—_ well, no, Padfoot and I would definitely threaten to give you detention every five minutes," James said as he began hoisting his own trunk up to Sirius, Peter's now onboard.

"You all need to forget about detention for a minute," Sirius said, shoving James' trunk off to the side with his and Peter's before grabbing the cage that held James' grey owl (or really, _their_ grey owl since all four boys made frequent use of her to send and receive mail). "What's the most important thing prefects do?"

"Do prefects do _anything_ important?" James snickered.

"Help younger students adjust to Hogwarts?" Remus asked, pocketing his badge so that he could hand his trunk to Sirius next.

"You're both over-thinking," Sirius said.

"They give us the password to the common room?" Peter said.

"Yes! This is why we keep you around, Wormtail. Common room passwords! You're gonna learn them at your oh-so-important prefect's meeting, aren't you, Moony?" Sirius said. The other boys joined him on the train and began dragging their trunks along as they sought out an empty compartment.

Knowing exactly where this was going, Remus said, "I am not giving you the password to the Slytherin common room."

"But Moony," Sirius practically whined, following James into the nearby compartment. "Just imagine! We could put doxys in Snivellus' trunk!"

"I'm pretty sure that's animal abuse," James said, shoving his trunk above one of the seats, "But I like where you're going with this."

"What about semi-permanent itching potion from Zonko's?" Peter suggested, trying to get his trunk in the overhead storage as well. He was much shorter than the others, making this difficult. He struggled for no more than a few seconds before James grabbed the trunk and helped again. Once both trunks were in place, he set his owl there as well.

"I mean, it's simple but it would work," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Provided Snivellus' hygiene isn't so poor he's not constantly itching already," James said. Sirius and Peter laughed. Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'm not giving you the Slytherin password," he said again, closing the compartment door so that he might change into his robes before heading to the prefects' compartment. He drew the privacy curtains closed.

He may have changed in front of the other Marauders hundreds of times in their dorm, but the rest of the student body didn't need to see the full extend of his scars.

"But we could shrink all of his shirts and make all his trousers twice the size," James said, taking a seat beside Peter.

"I'm not giving you the Slytherin password." Remus was beginning to sound bored.

"We could make his tie tighten a little every hour," Sirius said, leaning against the window.

"That's probably illegal—" Remus started.

"Not enough to kill him, just to startle him a bit," said Sirius with an exasperated sigh, as though Remus was ruining all their fun.

Which, he was, if you asked Sirius.

"Right, because you've _never_ nearly killed him," Remus said.

"Oh my _God_ , Moony, that was _one time!"_

"And you nearly got me expelled!"

" _One time!"_

"I'm still not giving you the Slytherin password. Look, I don't even know if they're gonna give _me_ the Slytherin password. They might give every house their password separately. So that no one ends up with temperature-changing underpants," Remus said, tucking his shirt in.

"Oh, that's a good one, Moony!" Peter said. "Maybe the socks, too?"

"I'm not giving you the Slytherin password. At this rate, I might not give you the _Gryffindor_ password. Then I can have the dorm room to myself."

"But how will you ever fall asleep without the soothing sound of Prongs snoring?" Sirius said.

"Oh, yeah, because you're a silent sleeper, Padfoot. Last year when we were still sorting out how to transform, you started _howling_ in your sleep," James said.

"And then Moony would howl back in his," added Peter, laughing slightly.

"I did not!" Sirius and Remus both said at once.

Peter and James exchanged looks. "Yes, you did," they answered. Sirius and Remus each immediately looked embarrassed, cheeks burning red.

"It sounded like a siren! Peter and I thought it was the blitz! _Awrooo-ooo-oooh!"_ James said, hardly able to finish his impression before giving in to snickers.

"How, uh, how often did that happen?" Remus asked, adjusting his tie.

"Once or twice a month. The moon didn't seem to have anything to do with it," James said.

"I think you guys were dreaming. You got all twitchy like you were dreaming," Peter said with a nod.

"Did you just watch us, you weirdos? Why didn't you wake us?" Sirius asked.

"You say that like it's easy to do. We tried," said James.

"Moony just rolled over like nothing happened. _You_ growled at us," Peter said, pointing to Sirius. "So we gave up and tried to go back to sleep."

"If it makes you feel better, next time we'll dump cold water on you. Or bop you on the nose with a rolled up magazine," James said. "Provided Moony decides to give us the password so we can get into the dorm."

"I'll give you the Gryffindor password," Remus sighed. "But I'm not giving you the Slytherin password."

"You know, we could probably just guess it," James considered. "It's probably something stupid, like, 'Purebloods Rule.'"

"'Muggles Drool,'" Peter added.

"'I like my coffee pure, just like my blood,'" Sirius said.

"' _Pure_ Bloody Hell,'" said Remus giving in and playing along.

"'Our blood is purer than water,'" said James.

"'With pure blood comes pure responsibility,'" Remus said.

"Um," Peter said, racking his brain as Remus fastened his prefect badge. "'I'd… rather kiss an ogre than a muggle?'"

"'Silver and green, purest blood you've ever seen,'" said Sirius.

"You know, I just realized we could probably just use the cloak, follow one of them, and listen when they say the password," James said.

"See, this is what I'm talking about, we're over-thinking things when there's an obvious, simple solution," said Sirius.

"Believe me when I say that thinking _too much_ is not any of your problems," Remus said, setting the privacy curtains back in place now that he was changed and sliding open the compartment door.

"Are you heading to the prefect compartment already?" Peter asked.

"The train leaves really soon," Remus said, checking his watch.

"When are you going to ditch them and come back over here?" asked Sirius.

"I don't know, they might have us patrol the train."

"Why would you have to patrol the train?" said James, cocking a brow. "That seems kind of unnecessary."

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because last year, _someone_ with an invisibility cloak put a permanent sticking charm on Snape's trousers so that he would stick to his seat?" Remus said sarcastically.

"Come on," Sirius said, "That was funny."

"Its' not like his skin was stuck, just the fabric," James said. "Once he took them off, he could leave the train."

"They couldn't get them off the seat and had to replace it," Remus reminded them. This failed in getting the others to realize the error of their ways, however, and rather prompted them to cackle at the memory.

"What's so funny?" asked an attractive blonde girl that suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Your face, McKinnon," Sirius quipped, though still smiling.

"Aw, Sirius," Marlene said, batting her eyelashes, "I knew you thought of me when I wasn't around."

"Do you lot have room for two more?" the dark-haired Dorcas asked, appearing beside Marlene. She was cradling a cage containing an annoyed-looking horned owl in one arm and dragging her trunk with the other.

"Just two? Don't you usually sit with Lily and Emmeline?" Remus asked.

"They're ditching us for the prefects. Looks like you are, too," Marlene said, gesturing to the pin on Remus' robes. She leaned back and called down the corridor, "Lily! Remus got the other prefect position!"

"Oh! Good!" Lily called back. As soon as he heard her voice, James' hand went straight to his hair, jostling it. Sirius messed his own hair up as well, in a mocking fashion.

Unamused, James shoved the grinning Sirius roughly in the shoulder.

Lily and Emmeline appeared with the other girls in the doorway, in uniform with prefect badges fashioned.

"Are you headed to the prefect's compartment, Remus?" Lily asked. James shifted his weight, hoping to fall into her line of vision.

It wasn't working.

"Yes," Remus said, slipping between Dorcas and Marlene to enter the corridor.

"So, can we sit here?" Marlene asked.

"You sure you don't want to sit with Michael and Audrey?" Lily said. "They said you could."

"And spend the whole trip watching them snog? My brother and the girl that tutored me in History of Magic last year? That's okay, I'll pass," Marlene said.

"Besides, _some_ people enjoy our company, Evans," Sirius said, taking Marlene's trunk in his hands and shoving it above the seat with Remus' trunk. Taking that as a "yes, do join us," Marlene entered the compartment.

"I think you could, too," James added in a sing-song voice as he went to help with Dorcas' trunk.

"I've got it! Thank you though!" Dorcas insisted, handing Marlene her owl before easily lifting her trunk to set it with the others. Once it was secure, she set her owl there as well. The creature hooted softly and tried to get comfortable.

"You're awfully sure of yourself," Lily said, finally acknowledging James with a small smile and a roll of the eye. "But _what else_ is new?"

"Your friends don't seem to hate me like you do—" James started.

"Well, we at least figured this was better than sitting with the Death Eaters-in-training or a bunch of first years," Marlene shrugged, taking a seat by the window.

"Hey, we out-rank the death cult and annoying eleven-year-olds," Sirius said triumphantly, high-fiving Peter.

" _And_ watching siblings get to first base!" Peter added.

"Regardless, Evans, I know I could show you a great time if you'd go out with me," James said, offering her a charming smile.

And at that exact moment, the train let out a loud whistle and began to move.

"Well, we'd best be going, see you at the feast, Marlene, Dorcas!" Lily said, heading down the corridor. A giggling Emmeline followed, along with an exhausted-looking Remus.

Dorcas closed the compartment door and took a seat. James slumped down opposite the girls and once again beside Peter. Sirius made himself comfortable between the two girls.

"She didn't say, 'no,'" James said, forcing optimism.

"She didn't say, 'yes,'" said Marlene.

"It's progress, though, right?" asked James.

"I think so, she kinda made eye contact and everything," Peter said, nodding along enthusiastically.

Sirius, however, shook his head. "Nah, if it's not a 'yes,' it might as well be a 'no.'"

"What he said," Dorcas said, pointing to Sirius.

James groaned. He had first asked Lily out the previous school year, after a Quidditch match. He'd been confident. She'd been bewildered. After a stammering, "no," she had rushed off, effectively crushing the high he'd been on after winning.

He'd asked her out a few times more in the months remaining of fourth year. As he grew more persistent, she grew less awkward at the notion of shutting him down. Though she was never exceptionally cruel about it, it was fairly obvious that she didn't think highly of him.

James still couldn't quite grasp how someone that wasn't a Slytherin could feel that. James Potter was, quite simply, used to being adored. It didn't make any sense.

What on earth was there not to like? He was smart, wasn't he? He was funny, wasn't he? He was decently good-looking, if he did say so himself. He took after his father ("The Potter genes hardly give anything else a chance!" Fleamont would boast, comparing photographs of himself when he was young to James), who was often regarded as quite handsome.

What more did she want?

"You two are her friends," James said, addressing the girls seated across from him.

"Eh. Not really. We mostly keep her around because she lets us 'heavily reference' her charms homework," Marlene said, complete with air quotes.

"You know, that's exactly why we keep Moony around," Sirius said.

"Moony?" Marlene inquired.

"Remus."

"Why is he Moony?"

"Inside joke, don't worry about it."

"Anyway!" James said, hoping to draw attention back to himself and his issue at hand. "You're both friends with Evans."

"Yes, we are," Dorcas said.

"And you know her pretty well," said James.

"Nah, we spent the last four years just—" began Marlene.

"Yes, we do," Dorcas said, interrupting Marlene mid-snark.

"You're such a Hufflepuff," Marlene sighed.

"Thank you," Dorcas said pleasantly.

"Why doesn't she like me? What do I have to do?" James asked. Sirius rolled his eyes.

Dorcas gasped. "Is _James Potter_ asking for _our_ help?"

"Don't make me regret it," James said.

"All right, all right," Marlene said. "Well, you know that cute way you fuss with your hair?"

"Yes," said James with a smirk, ruffling his hair again for effect.

"And you know the way you walk, all confident and poised?" said Dorcas.

"As though you woke up and decided to just _own_ the world? And everyone else can move the hell out of the way?" added Marlene.

"Yes," James nodded. He didn't even have to _try_ with that!

"And you know the way you always talk about Quidditch and your position on the team with such… what's the word I'm looking for, Dorcas?" Marlene said, twisting her hand through the air as she tried to come up with the proper word.

" _Pride_ and… _passion,"_ Dorcas said.

"That's it," Marlene nodded

"Right, of course," said James.

"Yeah, she doesn't care for _any of that,"_ Dorcas said simply.

"She thinks you need to get over yourself. A couple of times," said Marlene.

"I don't understand how any of that is unlikable," James groaned.

"She thinks you're annoying, James, just leave her alone," Marlene advised.

"I mean, I don't think she _hates_ you or anything, Lily doesn't really _hate_ anyone," Dorcas said. James lit up a bit at the notion.

"Saint Evans," Marlene snorted.

"Well, she keeps you around, Marley, so obviously…" Dorcas teased.

"I mean, she's pretty and all, but there are a ton of other girls at school," Sirius shrugged. "I mean, if Evans learns to take a joke and suddenly stops caring about the… _handful_ of times we hexed Snivellus, then yeah, I'm sure you'd be a lovely couple."

"But also, she thinks you're annoying. Just leave her alone," Marlene said again.

"I don't think you're annoying," Peter said, trying to be helpful.

"There you go, you can date Peter and forget all about Evans," Sirius said with a nod.

"He's not my type," James said bitterly. "No offense, Pete."

"Oh, none taken. I don't seem to be much of anyone's type," Peter said awkwardly.

"Aw, don't say that," said Dorcas.

"Is he _your_ type?" Sirius asked the girl, cocking a brow. Dorcas eyes widened in something resembling horror.

"Oh, no!" she paused, stammering, trying to collect herself and come across as less rude, "I mean—I'm just—just saying, Peter, you're a good person. You shouldn't say such things about yourself. That's all."

"Thanks," Peter said, awkward as ever.

"I keep telling him that some people don't peak in school," Sirius said.

"Well, that's easy for you to say, Cheekbones," Marlene said, gently poking at Sirius' face as though to emphasize his lovely bone structure.

"So, wait, if you're peaking now, does that mean it's all downhill from here?" James asked, cocking a brow. "Is your life gonna basically be over by the time you're twenty-one?"

"Oh that's so sad," Dorcas giggled.

"Maybe all your hair will fall out," Marlene said scandalously.

"First, don't even joke about that," Sirius said to Marlene. "Second, I am _not_ peaking right now, okay? Some of us just keep getting better."

"Right," James snorted.

"What like you're _not_ peaking now? In ten years you'll be going on poetic about the days you were Quidditch Captain," Sirius teased.

"No! _You're_ the new captain?" Marlene said, eyes wide.

James grinned and fished his new captain's badge from his pocket to show her.

"Damn it," Marlene pouted. "Are you going to make me try out for my position again?"

"I don't know, McKinnon, are we going to have a repeat of last year?" James asked.

The previous year, after defeating Slytherin, one of the Slytherin Chasers, Murphy, had bitterly called Marlene a whore, claiming she should consider guarding her knickers as well as she did the rings.

While the rest of the Gryffindor team responded by shouting angrily (James immediately considering ways to prank Murphy later), Marlene had responded by attacking him. Not with her wand, not with her fists, but by beating him over the head with her Comet 240 and destroying the handle.

Marlene and Murphy were both suspended for their team's next respective matches. Once Marlene was permitted to play again, she had to borrow an old broom from the school. The broom's age was especially clear when compared to the other brooms on the field.

"If Murphy keeps his mouth shut I won't have to try and knock his teeth out again, no," Marlene said.

"I can appreciate the damage brute force on it's own can do but come on now, you're a witch, you could have set him on fire or something," Sirius said.

"I'd suggest a silencing charm? He'd shut up and you wouldn't end up having to explain to your parents, _again_ , why you sent another student to the hospital wing," Dorcas said.

"Are you kidding? My mum was so proud when she found out why I did it," Marlene laughed.

"I just don't need to try and find a replacement Keeper if you get suspended again is my main issue," James said. "I don't care if you dress him in lady's lingerie in the middle of the feast if you don't get caught."

"Oh, I like that. _Who's the whore now, Murphy?"_ Marlene smiled.

"Tricky transfiguration, though, we tried on Snivellus last year and only managed to put a brassiere on top of his robes. Then when he took it of and everyone saw him walking around with it, they thought he'd gotten shagged and we wound up making him _more_ popular somehow," Sirius said, frustrated.

"Yeah but then Remus asked who the girl was," Peter said.

James smirked, "And he couldn't come up with a name."

"And then everyone laughed at him for getting a bra just to pretend a girl had sex with him," Peter said.

"So it did all work out in the end," Sirius nodded. "Just not the way we intended."

"Why did you decide lady's lingerie was the right way to go anyway?" Dorcas asked.

"We were doing him a favor, really, he should have _one_ pair of underpants that isn't secondhand and stained," James shrugged.

"Part of me is glad it didn't work out as we planned, honestly. What if every time we saw a girl in lingerie after that all we could think about was Snivellus?" Sirius said, making a face.

"Black, you utter imbecile," Marlene said, deepening her voice and brushing her hair into her face as though to imitate Severus. She ran her hands down the side of Sirius' face seductively. "You probably don't even know the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane. Is it because you're so incredibly dim-witted or because you're too distracted by my lacey garter belt?"

"Stop, stop! Why was I cursed with a vivid imagination? Stoooop!" Sirius said, pushing her away, though he and the others were laughing.

"Anyway," Marlene said, combing her hair back into place with her fingers, "I promise I'll try not to get suspended this year. And I got a new Cleansweep for my birthday last month so I won't have to borrow from school anymore."

"Really, we just need a new seeker and another chaser," James said.

"Preferably one that's not pregnant," Peter said.

"I can't believe Jolene kept playing after she found out Nick got her pregnant," Dorcas said. "What if she'd been hit by a bludger?"

"Have you _met_ Jolene? She could be in labor and she'd be like, 'No! Not now! There's a Quidditch match! The kid will have to wait!'" James said. The girl had insisted to everyone that she was merely a few weeks along and nothing was going to keep her from the championship match.

"The most dedicated, slightly deranged captain Gryffindor's seen yet," Sirius said. Jolene had just finished school, hence why James was now named captain.

"Promise me if you get pregnant you'll sit out," Marlene said, reaching over to set a hand on James' knee in mock-concern.

"I just can't do that, I love the game _that much,"_ James said with a dramatic sigh.

"Well, I mean, Nick's not gonna be around to seduce any more players this year so there's that," Sirius shrugged.

"I heard they got married over the summer," Marlene said matter-of-factly. "They're Mr. and Mrs. Wood now."

"Do they know what they're having?" Dorcas asked.

"I asked her at the end of term, she said 'a Quidditch player, hopefully,'" Marlene snorted.

"Merlin help that kid if he's into Gobstones," Sirius said.

"Gobstones is fun!" Peter said.

"See, this is why you're not gonna peak in school," Sirius said.

"Don't listen to him, Peter, Gobstones _is_ fun," Dorcas said, shoving Sirius lightly.

"If the kid's into Gobstones you know Jolene will suddenly be a Gobstones fanatic," James said.

"True, she didn't care about Chocolate Frog cards for one minute but every time Nick found a rare one she was genuinely _so excited_ for him, it was very cute," Dorcas mused. "Still, I can't imagine having a kid and getting married straight out of school, she handled it pretty well, I suppose."

"A lot of people are going that route with everything that's going on. No one knows how much time they've got," Sirius said.

"My parents got married straight out of school," Marlene said. "But that was right after Grindelwald. I think it was more of a celebratory, 'Holy shit, we didn't die! Let's have five kids and give them all names that start with the letter M' thing."

"We shouldn't even have to think about dying, we're fifteen!" Dorcas groaned.

"I agree, there's so many more important things to worry about. Like Quidditch," James said. At that moment, the cheerful witch with the treat trolley appeared outside their compartment. Before she could utter a word, James added, "And sweets."


	2. Just The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, here you go! Hope you enjoy the Defense Against The Dark Arts professor who is in no way based on a professor I had in college, nope, total coincidence.

_If anyone could be relied upon to put together something that would irritate a professor, it was the Marauders._

* * *

**Chapter Two: Just The Beginning**

* * *

"You're gonna chew your bottom lip off at the rate you're going," Marlene said to Lily. It was breakfast, the first day of classes, and Lily's food sat before her, untouched since her copy of the Daily Prophet had arrived with the mail.

"And your face will look so uneven without it," Emmeline said, she and Dorcas having joined Marlene and Lily at the Gryffindor table.

"Why so stressed? We haven't even had our first Defense Against the Dark Arts class with… what was his name again?" Dorcas said, glancing to the bespectacled man sitting beside Professor Slughorn at the staff table.

"MacPherson," Marlene said.

"Right, we haven't even gotten to our first class with MacPherson yet," said Dorcas.

Lily's eyes never left the paper. "Death Eaters killed another muggle family, this time just outside Edinburgh. No word as to why, other than the fact that they were muggles that dared to, well, be muggles."

"Knowing how shitty people are, and having heard some horror stories from my parents… I wouldn't be surprised if that's the only reason," Emmeline said. Her mother was a muggle; her father had lost quite a few friends as a result of the marriage.

"I keep thinking I should have put protective spells on the house," Lily said, setting the paper down at last to pick at her food.

"You already got your final warning about practicing magic outside school while underage and around muggles," Marlene pointed out.

"It's a wonder, really, how you got that prefect's badge," Dorcas teased, eyeing a tray of muffins as though debating over taking one.

"They wouldn't really expel me and snap my wand for trying to protect my family, would they?" Lily asked. "Especially since all my prior offenses were so, well, _small."_

Minor teacup transfiguration.

Quick dishwashing spell.

Levitation spell when her father had lost his balance on the stepladder.

"They shouldn't, but having dealt with the government officials my dad works with, it's entirely possible," Marlene shrugged.

"So I'm just supposed to do nothing? I'm the witch, I'm the one that actually _can_ do something," Lily sighed.

"Yeah, but I'm sure the Death Eaters would just love to see a smart, capable muggleborn like you get kicked out of school," Emmeline said softly, making sure no one was around before she stated Lily was muggleborn.

With the attacks that kept happening and the momentum the Dark Lord was building, it was best not to outright advertise a connection to muggles lately.

"I personally rather enjoy that being muggleborn means I piss them off simply by existing," Dorcas nodded, grabbing the muffin she'd been eyeing. "Oh, and going to school? Learning spells? It's like spiritually punching You-Know-Who in the face."

"You're not worried for your family?" Lily asked.

"Of course I am! But my parents would also kill _me_ if I missed out on school on their account," said Dorcas.

"Still… maybe I should write them to stay in London a few more days with Tuney and her boyfriend," Lily said.

Marlene paused in her pursuit to make a sandwich of sorts out of toast and some eggs and cringed. "Petunia or Death Eaters? What an awful choice to have to make."

Lily didn't seem to hear, still thinking aloud. "Or, perhaps they should leave sooner? Wouldn't London be a big target for the Death Eaters? There are _so many_ muggles there. Perhaps they should go home straight away. Oh! Maybe I can send them something that will help. What are those things that warn you of danger? Sneak-o-something…"

"A sneakoscope?" Emmeline said.

"Yes!" Lily said, eyes lighting up.

"The good ones aren't cheap," the Ravenclaw pointed out.

"Then, of course, they'll need an escape plan if it goes off. Can I set a muggle house up with the floo network? Can muggles take the floo network? Maybe they can floo somewhere safe? Oh, but then what would keep someone from following?" Lily was babbling now.

"Lily! You can't plan for _everything_ and save _everybody,"_ Marlene said.

"I've got to save the ones I _can_ save, though," Lily said.

"Saint Evans," Emmeline teased.

" _That's_ why she got the badge," Dorcas snorted.

"Speaking of," Emmeline said, seemingly eager to latch on to a new subject. "How are _your_ first years doing? Pass the sugar, please."

"Small," Marlene said, handing Emmeline the sugar dish so she might sweeten her coffee. "I swear _we_ weren't that small."

"Maybe not you, Miss I-Was-Taller-Than-Everyone-Until-Year-Four," Dorcas said.

"It isn't my fault that it took everyone else that long to get with the program and grow," Marlene shrugged.

"They're fine. Homesick. Had a million questions before going to bed," Lily said.

"James and Sirius were helping Remus answer questions, so don't be surprised if some Gryffindor first years show up to dinner in just their underpants for 'initiation'," Marlene said, air quotes and all.

"Surely they wouldn't do that two years in a row?" Dorcas said.

"I bloody well hope not. Remus should know better, even if Black and Potter don't," Lily said, casting an annoyed glance to the boys in question, not far down the table. "How are your first years, Em?"

Emmeline groaned, adding cream to her coffee. "They're so much to handle. So many questions. Then, well, we don't _have_ a password to our common room, right? We answer a riddle. Usually the first one for the first years is easier, as to not frighten them, but still a bit challenging to keep them from having a meltdown when they get a hard one later. Anyway, we got our riddle and before we could start talking through it with them, this boy, _Gilderoy Lockhart,_ forces his way through the other students to answer, entirely smug. He's, of course, wrong, because he went for the obvious answer, not the right one, and he ends up throwing a damn fit about it. We didn't know what to do, so eventually Gerald took him aside to calm down and we were able to answer the riddle."

"You lot should get a password," Marlene snickered.

"Tell me about it," Emmeline said, setting her mug to her lips.

* * *

Meanwhile, a few paces down the table, the Marauders were having a far less productive conversation, considering that Sirius had fallen asleep with his chin propped in his hand, Remus was skimming the paper, Peter was trying to figure out how to best sneak food out in his pockets, and James was pinning and re-pinning his captain's badge, trying to find the best placement for it.

"Should probably wake him," Remus said absent-mindedly.

"Left side or right side?" James asked, glancing down at his badge, now fastened to the left side of his robes.

"I like it next to the crest," Peter said.

"Hmm…" said James thoughtfully.

"Sirius. Padfoot. Git. Prat. Wanker," Remus said, eyes still on the paper as he gently kicked Sirius in the shin with each word. "Wake. The Hell. Up."

"Mmmph," Sirius said, stirring. "It's too early."

"Eight-thirty isn't that early," Remus said.

"It is when you spent all summer staying out until the sun came up," Sirius said through a yawn. "I sleep when the music stops, Moony. I'm nocturnal now."

"And whose fault is that?" James smirked. Sirius had only quit his nightly concert adventures once he found himself staying at the Potters for the last two weeks of the summer. That didn't stop him from keeping odd hours and listening to that strange, angry music, however.

"David Johansen's," Sirius mumbled, setting his head on the table.

"Which one is he?" Remus asked. Sirius had tried to interest the others in the aggressive music he'd just discovered. He had mostly failed.

At least they humored him.

"The one that wears women's high heels," Sirius said.

"The one with the lightning bolt on his face?" Peter asked.

"That's Bowie," Sirius sighed. "I'm gonna have to get some muggle magazine clippings and make you lot a cheat sheet. You're embarrassing me."

Remus finally glanced up from his paper. "Pretty sure _I'm_ the one that introduced _you_ to Bowie. And made the suggestion to get you a record player for your birthday last year. It's just this punk stuff I can't keep up with."

"You got elbowed in the face at _one show_ and gave up," Sirius said.

"My face has enough damage," Remus said, gesturing to the scars left over from his monthly transformations. "And I'm not really into the music."

Sirius groaned dramatically, "Neither is James, and it scares Peter."

"Well the music isn't very… what's the word I'm looking for, Moony?" James said.

"Good," Remus snorted.

"Right."

"That's not the _point._ The point is that it's accessible to anyone. Anyone with a guitar that's angry enough can do it. No formal training required," said Sirius, sitting upright at last and reaching for some bacon. "It doesn't have to be objectively _good_ , it just has to be passionate."

"Mmhm," Remus said skeptically.

James chanced a glance toward the girls a few paces away, gossiping away as Sirius tried to explain to Peter that really, the leather-clad punk rockers weren't _that_ scary. Lily was craning her neck trying to get a better view of the Slytherin table as she nodded along with whatever it was that Dorcas was saying.

Her devastating eyes scanned the crowd before falling on that lanky, greasy boy speaking with Mulciber. Once Lily caught his eye, she waved, her smile genuine.

James sighed heavily, feeling his teeth clench over the fact that _Snivellus_ of all people could make her smile that way. If she ever smiled around James, she was laughing _at_ him, rather than _with_ him.

Severus looked nervous before subtly waving in return. He then dove right back into his conversation as though nothing had happened.

Lily's smile faltered before she returned her attention to her friends.

There was something to be said about casting pearls before swine.

"Prongs?" Sirius said, snapping his fingers near James' ear. James glanced back in the direction of the others, who seemed to have moved on to a completely different subject, as Remus was eyeing Peter in confusion. "Pay attention. Worm just said he wants to bleach his hair platinum blond."

"Why the hell would you do that?" James asked, looking at Peter in surprise.

"I don't know, I thought maybe it would suit me better," Peter said, ruffling up his mousy brown hair.

"It won't. I say this as your friend. Don't do it," Sirius said.

"We can't have _two_ people with terrible hair in the group," Remus said, gesturing to James.

"Excuse you! I'll have you know, my family made its fortune on hair care," James said, feigning offense.

"You'd never tell looking at you," Sirius laughed.

"Shut up, we can't all have a glossy, purebred coat," James mocked.

Sirius simply leaned forward so that his soft-looking hair could fall in his face before flipping it back as he sat upright, showing off both the pleasing way it moved and the fact that it always seemed to fall into a great position. Remus rolled his eyes. James heard a few girls giggle. He glanced toward Lily again, hoping she wasn't impressed to the point of swooning over Sirius' hair. James knew he could not beat Sirius in a hair-based competition.

Lily was focused on her conversation with the others, thankfully.

"Remus! There you are," said a girl that promptly plopped down beside the boy.

"Damn, Orpington," Sirius said to her. "Someone had a good summer."

Alice Orpington was the kindest girl you would ever meet. She was a bit timid at first, but once she warmed up to you, she was warm and friendly and generally a great friend to have.

She was also exceptionally talented, having managed to consistently get top marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts while many students found their marks fluctuating depending on who was teaching that year. It had even been suggested that she just teach the class.

In addition, she was gifted in charms and transfiguration, hell, basically any subject that required a wand. Alice had a knack for spells and was always ready to tutor younger students. It was probably why she was appointed prefect the previous year. She was, quite simply, a model citizen.

But that didn't stop others, particularly that nasty group of Death-Eaters-To-Be from mocking her relentlessly during the previous school years. They could say nothing about Alice's abilities, intelligence, or blood status, though.

So, instead, they went for her looks.

She hadn't been hideous, her warm personality shined through so brightly that few would call her "ugly." Most would go with "awkward."

She had a round face and large crooked teeth that seemed to bother her so much that she rarely smiled without her lips tightly shut. Her complexion was speckled with acne that no potion treated entirely, her eyebrows would quickly get out of hand if she didn't pluck them often, and her long hair always seemed to frizz and tangle by lunch time. It wasn't uncommon to overhear her expressing frustration over not being able to lose weight no matter what she did.

At least, that was how it was at the end of the previous school year. The Alice Orpington sitting beside Remus now grinned widely, showing off straighter teeth, though that wasn't the only change.

Her skin was clear and glowing. She had traded in her long hair for a shorter cut that rather suited her. The waistband of her skirt rested upon a noticeably smaller waist.

She had, indeed, had a good summer.

"Ignore him, I'm sorry," Remus said, secondhand embarrassment seeping into his features at Sirius' comment.

Alice, however, waved Remus' concerns away. "I know!" she said in response to Sirius' comment. Excitedly, she added, "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome!"

"You say that like it's a good thing. It sounds bad, what is it?" James asked.

"It means my hormones don't have a bloody idea what they're doing!" she said cheerfully. "It was making me break out, making my facial hair crazy, throwing off my blood sugar so I couldn't lose weight. But now I know I have it so I can treat it and I'm so pleased! I don't think my skin's been this smooth since I was about nine!"

She ran her fingers across her blemish-free face, her grin never faltering. "And dad surprised me for my birthday by getting my teeth straightened! The haircut, well, I've been meaning to try it for ages and I'm so glad it worked out."

"I was thinking of changing my hair too—" Peter started.

"And it will not work as well as it did for her," Sirius cut him off.

"Well, you look great," James said to Alice encouragingly.

"Thank you! Have any of you spoken to Frank recently? That's why I stopped by, uh, you think maybe you could, um, _tell him_ that?" she said, glancing toward the tall seventh year speaking with Dumbledore.

"He's got eyes, doesn't he?" Sirius said.

"He didn't make eye contact with me the whole meeting on the train," Alice said, her grin finally faltering.

"Who, Frank?" Lily said, the girls suddenly intrigued by their conversation.

"You have to ask? Alice has only had a crush on him for two years," Marlene snickered. Alice blushed, but smiled softly.

"Maybe he was distracted," Remus said.

"He _is_ head boy this year, that's a lot to deal with," Lily added helpfully.

"May I _never_ be too busy to notice a pretty girl," Sirius said. The other boys nodded in agreement.

"Look, boys are stupid, case and point," Marlene said, gesturing to the Marauders.

"That's funny, McKinnon, because I distinctly remember that it was you asking to look at _my_ transfiguration homework every week last year," Sirius said.

"Severus Snape is Lily's best-friend-that-isn't-me and it took him _two weeks_ to realize she was dating my brother last year," Marlene continued.

"I straightened this mess," Dorcas said, gesturing to her wild curls, "Over the summer and _three days later_ my dad asked if I did something different with it."

"It took Black all day to realize we shaved part of his hair off in the back when he fell asleep in History of Magic last year," Lily said.

"That was you!?" Sirius and James said at once.

"I hexed Snivellus for that…" said Sirius.

"Well, Emmeline found the spell," Lily shrugged.

"Don't pin it on me, you're the one that used it," Emmeline mumbled.

"The point is, boys are stupid," Marlene said to Alice. "If you want Frank Longbottom, you go get Frank Longbottom! March up there and ask if he wants to snog!"

"Or, I mean, you could ask him to lunch," Dorcas said.

"Ask him to lunch with the promise of snogging," James suggested.

"He's talking to Dumbledore," Alice said, blushing at the mere idea of asking Frank to snog. "I shouldn't bother them."

"Dumbledore won't give a shit," Sirius said. "Only an idiot would turn down food _and_ snogging."

"Well, I guess… asking him to lunch isn't a big deal. It's lunch!" Alice said, breathing deep.

"There's no way he'll say no, you're a knock-out. Some day they're gonna call looking this good 'Alice Orpington-ing,'" Sirius said.

"That girl definitely Alice Orpington'ed," James said, providing an example.

"Nah, it'll be _that girl Alice Longbottom'ed,"_ Marlene teased.

"I'm going to do it, I'm going to march up there and… try not to vomit on him before I can get the words out," Alice said, standing up from the table.

"You've got this," Lily said.

"Let me know if he says no," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Alice giggled and gave him a wink before taking a step toward the staff table.

At that moment, however, Frank stepped _away_ from the staff table, shuffling through some papers in his hands as he went, entirely engrossed in whatever was written on them.

"Frank…" she said weakly as he walked past their section of the table. He didn't hear her, still walking. "You know, um, he's busy, I'll ask him later."

Sirius rolled his eyes before leaning back and shouting "Longbottom!" at Frank's retreating back.

The boy stopped, turned, and raised a brow at Sirius before heading back their way. Alice paled, biting her lip as he came closer.

"What's up, Sirius?" Frank asked.

"Orpington's got something to ask you," Sirius said gesturing to the girl. Frank nervously looked her way, forcing a smile.

"Y-Yes, Alice?" he said.

"I was, um, I was just, you see, um, I was… I was wondering if you… um… if you had a copy of the patrol schedule, but I just remembered where mine was so I'll just, I'll just go get it, bye! It was nice seeing all of you!"

And with that, she scurried off before anyone else could utter a word.

Frank sighed heavily. "She hates talking to me, doesn't she?"

"Not at all!" Lily said.

"I mean, I don't blame her, I act like a complete idiot if I say more than three words to her. I don't know how I think I'm going to be an Auror if I can't even handle a pretty girl after two years of trying," Frank mumbled.

"… you've been trying to ask her out for two years?" James said.

"I always act like an idiot and she makes an excuse to leave, you guys just saw it. I should just take a hint. I don't even know what I did this time," he said.

"What the hell did I tell you guys? Boys are fucking morons!" Marlene said.

"What did I do?" Frank asked, baffled.

"Merlin's Beard, Frank, go ask Alice out," Remus said, pointing to the doors to the great hall.

"I can't, she hates me. And I, um… I've got to help direct first years, classes are starting soon. You lot better start getting to class yourselves," Frank said nervously, shuffling his papers again. "I'll, um, I'll see you all around."

"Fucking. Morons," Marlene said as Frank walked off.

"I bet three galleons that Evans agrees to go out with James before Longbottom or Orpington manage to ask each other at all," Sirius said.

"You are going to lose that bet, Black," Lily said.

"I'll take that bet," Dorcas said.

"Will you please not bet on my love life?" Lily asked.

"I'm not, I'm betting against it. I need more broomstick polish and haven't been able to justify the cost," Dorcas shrugged.

"Get ready to pay up, Meadowes," James said, offering Lily a wink.

"I think I'm gonna get the high end broom polish, the kind the professionals use," Dorcas mused as Lily rolled her eyes.

"Betting on James' lack of charm is really not gonna end well for you, Pads," Remus said.

"Hey, I'm incredibly charming!" James said, ruffling up his hair.

"Not really, but I mean, being charming isn't _hard_ or anything," Sirius shrugged.

"Oh? Because you're just _oozing_ with charm, Black," Lily scoffed.

Sirius slid on the bench until he was closer to Marlene and flashed her a grin. "Hey, McKinnon."

Marlene snorted and flipped her hair over her shoulder before batting her eyes dramatically. "Oh, _hello_ , Sirius."

"You know, I'm sort of upset with you," he said casually, gently brushing his fingers across her hand.

"Why's that?" Marlene said, eyes wide and pretending to be shocked.

"Well, I didn't want to get up this morning and was nearly late, it really threw off my whole routine," he said.

"How is that my fault?"

"Because I was dreaming of you, my darling, and who would ever want that to end?" he said, his voice as smooth as velvet and his grin absolutely captivating.

Marlene mockingly set one hand to her forehead and the other over her heart, swooning dramatically with a sigh. "Oh, Sirius! You're so charming, I can hardly handle being so close to you without declaring my undying love."

"I would declare mine for you, but no word coined by man can describe the fiery passion in my heart," Sirius said, equally dramatic.

"Kiss me!" Marlene cried.

The pair grabbed each other by the skull and leaned forward. Their friends exchanged glances, wondering if they were actually going to have to watch Marlene and Sirius snog over breakfast.

With their faces perhaps an inch or two apart, they parted their lips, stuck out their tongues, and shook their heads dramatically, miming some sort of ridiculous interpretation of French kissing, all while not actually locking lips.

This left their companions snickering. Even Lily couldn't deny that the display before her was too ridiculous _not_ to laugh at.

"You're both idiots, I hope you know," Remus said.

"But _charming_ idiots," Sirius said, letting go of Marlene's head.

" _So_ charming," Marlene nodded.

"See, it isn't hard," Sirius said, nudging James in the ribs with his elbow.

"I can promise you, Potter, if you try any of that with me," Lily said, gesturing to Sirius and Marlene, "I will hex you."

"But Evans!" Sirius said, pretending to be appalled, "You're a _prefect."_

"Exactly, so no one will suspect it was me," Lily said with a small smile as she stood from the table.

"Okay, I can see why you like her," Sirius said to a grinning James as the other girls stood up and followed Lily out of the hall.

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter settled into seats near the center of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, a row behind Lily, Marlene and Emmeline. First class of the new term was with the Ravenclaws, which wasn't terrible.

Whether or not the new _professor_ would be terrible remained to be seen. The man toyed with his comb-over as his students filled in.

"I wish we weren't the first ones to have this bloke," Sirius mumbled under his breath.

"Yeah, I'd rather have someone else feel them out first," James agreed. Coming in blind was never fun with these professors. At least with McGonagall or Slughorn or any professor with a position that wasn't actually cursed, they knew what to expect.

"I just hope this one's in good health," Remus added. Last year's professor had been approximately one hundred and thirty years old.

He hadn't resigned, retired, or been fired. He simply clutched at his chest suddenly during one of his N.E.W.T. classes, fell over, and died.

Counselors had been on campus for a week to talk with the class that had witnessed it. Dumbledore himself filled in for the last few weeks of term.

The bell rang and with a flick of his wand, Professor MacPherson shut the door, locking it.

"Good morning, students!" He said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Professor," the class responded. At least half of them sounded bored.

"First thing's first, you will be _on time_ for my class. When the bell rings, the door _will_ be—"

A knock came from the door, the handle jiggling against the lock. MacPherson sighed, gesturing toward the door with his wand. Gerald Jackson, a Ravenclaw, walked in apologetically once it was unlocked.

"I was just telling the class that the door will be _locked_ when the bell rings," MacPherson said, arms crossed.

"Sorry, Professor! I was helping some first years that were lost," Gerald said, gesturing to his prefect badge. "The castle's hard to navigate when you're new, you know?"

"Five points from Ravenclaw, take your seat," MacPherson said. Gerald seemed taken aback.

"Sir, it was about thirty seconds—" he started.

"Take your _seat_ ," MacPherson said again. Gerald cocked a brow before picking the vacant seat on the other side of Emmeline. "Now, as I was saying, lateness will not be tolerated in my class. If you're going to be late, don't bother showing up at all."

Sirius scribbled on a scrap piece of parchment and slid it toward James. He had written, _We're gonna be ditching this class a lot._

James simply nodded.

"This class will be divided into lecture and the practical lesson. I expect no wands out and no magic to be performed during the lecture. I want only discussion and note-taking. You _will_ be graded on participation, so do get involved with the discussion. I plan to start with a review of the history of dark magic and defensive spells to be sure that we are all on the same page, as I understand you have not had a consistent professor in this course. But, there is plenty of time for that, for now, let's get to know each other. I want to go around the room, and each of you can state your name, your house, and a fun fact about yourselves."

Several students audibly groaned at the notion of a "getting to know you" exercise. Every student in that class had been taking classes together for four years. They knew each other as much as they wanted to. This was solely for MacPherson's benefit.

With his roster on his clipboard, MacPherson started with the front row. Robert collected chocolate frog cards. Lisa's owl could hoot "God Save the Queen." Gwen visited America over the summer.

This went on and on, with few students finding it within themselves to care.

"Oh, um. Lily Evans, Gryffindor, and… I don't know. I like to dance."

"What sort of dance?" MacPherson asked.

"I used to take ballet… now my friend Dorcas and I mostly make things up as we go along. Just for fun," Lily shrugged. MacPherson made a note on his clipboard.

"And you, the one wearing too much eyeshadow," he said to Marlene.

"Marlene McKinnon, Gryffindor, and I don't make my cosmetic decisions based on men's opinions," Marlene quipped.

MacPherson made a non-committal noise, scribbling quite a few notes before looking to Emmeline expectantly.

"Emmeline Vance, Ravenclaw. I'm in the school choir."

"Are you any good?"

"Er, I should hope so… you have to audition to get in."

They finished up that row before reaching the Marauders, each looking exceptionally bored.

"Sirius Black, Gryffindor," Sirius said.

"Of the Black Family?" MacPherson asked.

"Toujours Pur," Sirius said, unenthusiastically. "I like to listen to punk rock."

"What on earth is punk rock?"

"It's angry music with live performances in which people wearing black leather gather together to tattoo and pierce each other, summon demons, scream angrily, have orgies, worship the devil, sacrifice virgins, and plot to overthrow the government," Sirius said with a smile. Scattered snickers could be heard around the classroom.

MacPherson was unamused.

"James Potter, Gryffindor. I'm captain of the house Quidditch team this year," James said, drawing attention from Sirius' "explanation" of punk rock. "Which, on that note, I've booked the pitch for try-outs on Friday, just a head's up to the Gryffindors here."

"Never been much a fan of Quiditch, myself," MacPherson said with a smile.

James didn't like this professor.

"Um. Remus Lupin, Gryffindor. I collect muggle comic books," Remus said.

"What is a comic book?" MacPherson asked.

"Well, it's a book with a series of pictures—" Remus started.

"So you don't actually read anything?"

"No, there's words, too—"

"So, it's a picture book, like the sort children read?"

"Well, no, not really. I mean, for example, I read a lot of Spider-Man and—"

"Spider-Man?"

"Yes, it's about a kid that's bitten by a spider and gets superhuman abilities—"

"No spider will do that."

"That's not really the _point—"_

"Next in line," MacPherson said, gesturing to Peter. Remus sighed heavily.

"Peter Pettigrew, Gryffindor. I'm, er, allergic to strawberries."

This continued until MacPherson had commented on the hobby or interest of almost every student in the class. Once that was through, he told the class a bit about himself. He had been in Ravenclaw and had taken a great interest in magical theater productions at school. He chose to pursue that after graduating, being particularly interested in historical dramas. After having little luck obtaining any roles in such productions, he reached out to Dumbledore in the hopes of teaching History of Magic, as Professor Binns had been dead for quite some time now.

The ghost of Binns had once more refused to leave his post. MacPherson was offered the vacant Defense Against the Darks Arts position, and thus, here he was.

Having finished introductions sooner than he had anticipated, MacPherson decided to begin his first lecture.

"Now, why do we need defensive spells? What brought about that need, you might ask yourselves?"

"Pretty sure it's the fact that people have killed each other since the dawn of mankind," Sirius mumbled to James.

"Muggles got creative with their weaponry and means of execution early on, which only made it logical that us magic folk would have to respond with defensive mechanisms of our own. For example, many of you might be familiar with Henry VIII, the king who beheaded all his numerous wives."

Remus raised his hand almost immediately.

MacPherson checked his notes on his roster for Remus' name. "Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"Actually, he didn't behead all his wives, sir," Remus said. "He only beheaded two of them."

"Henry VIII expert, are you?"

"Well, there's a rhyme to remember it."

"Yeah, I know that one," Lisa from Ravenclaw said, raising her hand, "Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived."

"Right," said Remus, "He divorced the first one, beheaded the second one, the third one died from unrelated causes, the fourth one was divorced, the fifth was beheaded, and the last one outlived him."

"Which two were beheaded?" MacPherson demanded.

"Er… Catherine Howard and… um…" Remus said.

MacPherson smiled, seemed satisfied, and continued his lecture, ignoring several Ravenclaws that had raised their hands hoping to say _Anne Boleyn!_ "Medieval muggles are famous for their means of torture as well as for their ignorance, thus, giving birth to the need for defensive magic—what now, Mr. Lupin?"

"Sir, defensive magic existed long before medieval times, long before Henry VIII's time. I mean, Hogwarts was founded in the tenth century. Not to mention, Henry VIII wasn't _really_ medieval, more like, _late_ middle ages, early Renaissance," Remus said.

"Also, um, wouldn't early wizards be much more concerned with defending themselves against each other rather than early muggle devices? I mean, the weapons back then were nothing compared to what the muggles have now," Emmeline added, speaking quickly as though she wanted to get her comment overwith.

"Exactly, I'd think other wizards and magical creatures would be a bigger issue, especially during the dark ages when nothing really progressed in the muggle world," Remus said.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Miss Vance, five points from Ravenclaw. Mr. Lupin, I'd appreciate you not nitpicking my lecture."

"But sir, you're implying that defensive magic was basically non-existent until the sixteenth century, which is nonsense," Remus said. A few of the other students gasped at the notion of telling a professor such a thing.

"I am attempting, if you would so _kindly_ allow me to do so, to explain the rise in defensive spells that occurred in the late middle ages and renaissance," MacPherson said, entirely unamused. "After all, the unforgivable didn't come along until the _eighteenth_ century."

"Actually, they were around long before that," Remus said. "It was just the eighteenth century when they were officially classified _as_ unforgivable."

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Lupin," MacPherson said.

"For what?" Remus demanded.

"Undermining my authority in my own classroom," MacPherson replied.

"That isn't what I'm trying to do," Remus said.

Sirius raised his hand. MacPherson sighed. "What is it, Mr. Black?"

"Actually, I was going to ask Professor Lupin if I could be excused to use the loo," Sirius grinned. The class snickered.

"Five points from Gryffindor," MacPherson sneered. At that moment, the bell rang and the class began to gather their things. MacPherson began scribbling madly on his clipboard, no doubt adding notes to both Remus and Sirius' names.

The group of boys closely followed Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline out of the room. Once they were out of earshot of MacPherson, Marlene practically snarled.

"Too much eyeshadow! As if I get up every morning wondering what my goddamn professor is going to think of my face! He should wear some fucking make-up, the ugly old git," she said.

"I don't know why he would think it's appropriate to comment on a student's appearance at all, you're not violating any rule," Lily said, shaking her head. "Maybe next class we should _all_ wear 'too much' eyeshadow."

"I'm in," Emmeline said.

"Hey," Marlene said over her shoulder to the boys. "Next Defense Against The Dark Arts class we're all wearing too much eyeshadow, spread the word."

"Can do!" James said, offering her a salute. Marlene smiled. If anyone could be relied upon to put together something that would irritate a professor, it was the Marauders.

"I'm sure Sirius will let us borrow his," Peter snickered.

"Laugh all you want, you're just jealous I pull it off better than you," Sirius said, flipping his hair haughtily.

"Yep, that's it," James said sarcastically.

"If you can tell me as a friend not to dye my hair blond, I can tell you as a friend that the eyeshadow doesn't work," Peter said.

Sirius sighed dramatically, as though the others simply didn't _get it_. His eyelids were vacant of eyeshadow now, but a subtle hint of eyeliner seemed to be present, making his grey eyes simply smolder.

"You okay, Remus? He was awful to you," Lily said, concerned as she fell into step beside him and set a gentle hand to his shoulder.

"I'm more angry than anything," Remus said with a roll of the eye. "I'm not sure what he's been studying, but it's sure not the books _I've_ read."

"Or, you know, anything on basic world history," Emmeline said.

"You should just teach the class, Professor Lupin," Sirius said, seemingly determined to make this nickname stick.

"I mean you're pretty much always top of our year in it," Lily nodded.

"Did Lily Evans just agree with me?" Sirius said in shock.

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day," Marlene grinned. "Really, though, Remus, what you did was great, I hope every class is like that. He was getting so _angry_."

"Yeah, and here I thought these lectures were supposed to be _discussions_ ," James said.

"Only if you're discussing how correct he is, apparently," Remus mumbled.

"I can't wait to find out what happens when Frank and Alice each sit through one of his classes," Peter said.

"We'll flunk our O.W.L.s if all his lectures are like this," Lily sighed. "I have a feeling the exams are looking for _accurate_ information."

"Well, what about when he starts assigning homework? Do we write on fact or what he says happened?" said Emmeline. "My whole house is gonna be a wreck come the first assignment, trying to decide which way to go."

"Teachers like this, you have to tell them what they want to hear," Marlene said. "Even if every word is dragon shit."

"This shouldn't even be an issue," Remus said, frustrated.

"It _was_ only the first day," Peter offered.

"Yeah, I mean, maybe he's just bad at the history part and he'll be okay at the practical part," James said. "I don't trust anyone that doesn't like Quidditch, though."

Marlene nodded in agreement. Lily rolled her eyes.


	3. Hot Tramp, I Love You So

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to chapter three! If you like what you're reading please consider leaving me a comment, I always love reading them. This chapter is also where I started not really taking chapter titles seriously.

_She twisted around a pair of suits of armor taking a leisurely stroll and for a moment considered that if she attended a muggle boarding school, she would be where she wanted to go already._

* * *

**Chapter Three: Hot Tramp, I Love You So**

* * *

James had found it difficult to focus the next few days of class with the knowledge that his first duty as Quidditch Captain was quickly approaching: tryouts.

It was Friday afternoon in the handful of hours between the last class of the day and dinner. James had rushed to Madam Hooch's office as soon as he could to book this time, hoping to get the Gryffindor tryouts done as soon as possible. This way they could practice more with the new recruits.

The current lineup consisted of himself and Wanda Rourke, a fourth year, as chasers. Third year Lawrence Baker and fourth year Douglas Alexander were the skilled beaters that kept the bludgers away from pregnant Jolene the previous year. Marlene was, of course, keeper.

With Jolene and Adrian Brown graduating and vacating the last chaser position and seeker position respectively, it was now up to James to find replacements.

A small crowd of students stood before him and the others that had already secured a position, watching him expectantly.

A few were muttering amongst themselves.

" _So, wait, why did he wear eyeshadow to class on Wednesday?"_

" _The whole class did because MacPherson made a comment about Marlene McKinnon's makeup the first day."_

" _Why did Sirius Black draw a lightning bolt on his face then?"_

" _I don't know, some muggle reference."_

" _They need to be careful with the muggle stuff anymore, they're gonna get hurt."_

" _They don't give a shit."_

" _I heard they filled MacPherson's desk drawers with glitter that exploded all over him when he opened it."_

" _Yeah that's never coming out of the carpets, but he couldn't pin it on them and the eyeshadow didn't technically break any rules."_

" _So no detention?"_

" _Black got one for calling him… what did he call him?"_

" _A hot tramp?"_

" _Why?"_

" _Another muggle reference, apparently."_

"Welcome!" James said loudly, causing a hush to fall over the group. "We're filling just two positions today, but those of you that don't make the cut may be considered as alternates if the need arises. But please, make sure the need doesn't arise," he cast a glance Marlene's way. She smiled innocently. "Now, Quidditch is a rough sport. Games have been known to last for days. Stamina is a vital part of success when it comes to this game. So, take a lap."

James swung his arm around as though to gesture the path those trying out should take around the pitch. They began to mount their brooms.

"No, no," James said. "On your legs."

"Around the whole pitch?" one of them said.

"It's not even a mile," Marlene said.

"Good point, McKinnon," James said. "Three laps, go."

"This has nothing to do with Quidditch!" Eric Schnell, a sixth year, said.

"If you can't handle a few laps around the Quidditch pitch, how are you going to handle an actual game? Jolene used to make us do lunges around the pitch," Wanda cringed.

"Yes, but our arses looks great now," Douglas said, turning about to show his off.

Scattered groans erupted among the hopefuls. Little Mary MacDonald in her third year was the first to hoist her broomstick over her shoulder and start running, however, and reluctantly, the others followed.

James handed Douglas a stopwatch and a clipboard, "Here, you're good at math, yeah?"

"I mean I didn't fail Arithmancy," he said.

"Good, keep tabs on them and make sure they do all three laps. The rest of you, help me set up the obstacles," James said.

" _You're_ not gonna make us do lunges, are you?" Marlene asked.

"To be determined," James laughed. "Be sure you're warmed up by the time we have to test the chasers, though."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll… stretch or something. Just remember _you'll_ have to do the lunges, too."

A series of hoops of various sizes were lugged out of storage and carefully, James and the others began to levitate them. They needed to roughly form a path, and it was important to vary the height of each hoop to really be able to test the potential recruits.

" _Psst. Prongs. Prongs!"_ came a voice from James' pocket. Handing the next hoop to Marlene, he stepped aside, pulling out a small mirror. Sirius' face stared back at him.

"I can't talk long, I'm in the middle of try-outs, Pads," James said. "How's detention with MacPherson going?"

"I'm writing lines. 'Professor MacPherson is not a hot tramp.'"

"That's what he's making you write? You're joking."

"I'm… _serious,"_ the other boy said with a grin. James rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Dumbledore came by to check in on how things were going after the first week and they stepped outside the classroom to talk. I don't know why he thought leaving me here alone was a good idea."

"What are you going to do?" James asked.

"That's the thing, I'm drawing a blank. That's why I'm asking you, I can't let this opportunity pass me by," Sirius said.

"Well, make _him_ draw a blank," James said. Sirius cocked a brow. "Charm his chalkboard so the next time he writes on it, the words disappear. Or better yet, the chalk."

"That'll work! Maybe his quills, too. This is why we're best mates," Sirius said. Judging by the movement of the scene in the mirror, Sirius was heading for the blackboard to make use of James' suggestion. "How're try-outs going?"

"I'm making them run laps right now, that should weed out the weak pretty quick," James said.

"Oi! _Captain!_ We set up the rings, are you really primping right now?" Marlene called.

"I've got to go, Pads, talk to you at dinner," James said.

"See ya, Hot Tramp," Sirius said with a wink.

Pocketing his mirror, James mounted his broom and kicked off into the air, examining the hoops the others had set up. Leaning forward, James flew through the hoops, making sharp turns and ducking low to fit through the smaller ones. After adjusting the position of a few of them, the team landed just in time for the first few hopefuls to finish their laps.

A few collapsed on the ground, gasping for air and wiping sweat-soaked brows. Those that were still upright went straight for the water station, helping themselves.

"Time the next part too," James said to Douglas, who was about to hand him back the watch and clipboard. The other boy pursed his lips, but nodded.

"Well, none of you have vomited yet, yeah?" James said to the group, still catching their breath. Various groans were his response. "Next is flight competency, you wanna show them how it's done, Wanda?"

Wanda mounted her broom and kicked off, gracefully speeding through the hoops. She faltered a little at a tight turn but made it nonetheless, arriving back to the start shortly after she had left.

"You will be judged on accuracy and speed. If you touch a hoop or skip it, it will turn red," James said. Wanda tapped her hand against the nearby hoop to demonstrate it turning from the grey metallic color it was initially to a bright red. "Showing off _will_ earn you extra points with me. Who wants to go first, then?"

Mary MacDonald rushed forward, hand in the air.

"What position are you going for, MacDonald?" James asked, noting her obvious enthusiasm.

"Seeker," she said immediately. He nodded, pointing to the rings. She kicked off and followed the same route Wanda had taken, adding a few twirls after glancing back at James with a nervous grin. She landed after completing every turn and moving through each hoop.

The process continued, each hopeful maneuvering the hoops with varying levels of success. Once that was through, everyone ran through chasing exercises, which included things like passing drills, catching, volleying, and recovering. The chaser hopefuls tried to get the quaffle past Wanda and James, acting as opposing chasers, as well as score past Marlene. Each hopeful got three tries.

Three people were trying out to be seeker. James released four snitches and sent them off to find them. Mary brought back two with a grin, a boy named Rick brought back one, and no one could find the last one until James spotted it by the locker room door and caught it himself.

"Thanks for coming out," James said when it was all over, about a half hour before dinner would began. "The list will be up in the common room tomorrow morning."

Once those trying out had shuffled out, James examined the clipboard that Douglas had given him and turned back to the team.

"So what do you think?" he asked.

"MacDonald is a no-brainer," Marlene said. The rest of the team murmured in agreement. James nodded.

"Yeah, the run didn't phase her and she aced most of the drills, it was the chasing drills that threw her for a bit of a loop," he said.

"She trained all last year for this," Wanda added.

"Didn't she used to come watch the practices too?" Lawrence asked.

"I thought she just had a crush on James," Douglas shrugged.

"She has a crush on Quidditch," Marlene said.

"Okay, congrats to Mary MacDonald, our new seeker," James said, circling the girl's name on the clipboard. "Chaser's a little harder. Watson bumped two rings but she made two of her three goals and never dropped the quaffle."

"Bloomer made it through all the rings, he's got great form… but he only made one goal," Wanda said.

"Schnell did well with the rings and made two goals," Douglas said. "But he also looked like he was gonna die after the run and was complaining the whole time."

"Schnell is annoying. Lancaster dropped the quaffle, but she recovered it," Lawrence said.

"She only made one goal, and that was because I had a poorly-timed sneeze," Marlene said.

"I'm leaning toward Watson, her attitude is good and her agility can be fixed with practice," James said.

"I mean, you're captain, you're the one that has to deal with everyone that gets mad they didn't get a spot," Marlene said cheerfully.

"Yeah, I mean, it's nice you're consulting us but it is your decision," Douglas said.

James nodded. "Okay. Mary MacDonald, Gwen Watson, welcome to the team."

"And Gryffindor becomes an estrogen-dominated team!" Marlene cheered, giving Wanda a triumphant high-five.

* * *

Sirius set a stack of parchment down before MacPherson, who glanced up from his novel as though Sirius was inconveniencing him by doing so.

"There, ten rolls of parchment, front and back, 'Professor MacPherson is not a hot tramp.' Can I go to dinner now?" Sirius said, his stomach growling as though to add emphasis to his request.

Painstakingly slowly, MacPherson marked the page he was at before closing his book. Leisurely, he took the stack of parchment and carefully examined both sides of each page. His eyes scanned the pages as though he were reading each individual word. Sirius massaged his wrist and didn't bother hiding the annoyance in his face as MacPherson reviewed his work.

MacPherson stacked the pages atop each other and lightly tapped the stack against the table to make certain they were all aligned. Finally, he looked back up to Sirius.

"You may go. Professor McGonagall would like to see you before you eat," MacPherson said.

Sirius groaned dramatically. His stomach whined in protest.

All he wanted to do was eat. There was nothing in the world more important than sitting down at the great hall and devouring everything in sight.

Sirius Black, being from a wealthy family, had no idea what it was like to be starving, but at that moment he felt as though he hadn't eaten in days. Maybe even weeks. How was he still upright? Were his bones showing yet?

He could eat an entire roast by himself right about now, he was sure of it. Would he immediately regret such a decision? Yes. But was he hungry enough to do it? Yes.

"She's in her office," MacPherson said, gesturing for the door.

Sirius turned his heel and marched out of the classroom, trying to think of anything but the vast amount of food that was currently being eaten by _everyone else_ that was at dinner. Why did McGonagall want to talk to him anyway? He hadn't done anything criminal in her class yet!

Was this preemptive, perhaps? Was McGonagall trying to get through to him _before_ he and his friends did something stupid?

Why wasn't _McGonagall_ at dinner?

Sirius knocked quickly on McGonagall's office door, crossing his arms immediately, impatient. Maybe if she didn't respond, he could leave.

What was the rule, the class is free to go if the professor isn't present for fifteen seconds? Wait, no, it was fifteen _minutes_ , wasn't it? This wasn't a class anyway, but Sirius sure as hell would try to apply that rule if necessary.

"Come in," came a voice from inside, less than fifteen seconds after he had knocked. Sirius pushed open the door. "Hello, Mr. Black, please sit."

Sirius plopped down at his preferred chair before McGonagall's desk (though it wasn't as fun without James in the seat beside him) and she set aside the papers she had been grading when he arrived.

Before Sirius could utter a word, McGonagall pushed her tin of cookies in his direction.

Sirius had been through the motions of being sent to McGonagall's office before. He knew the drill. Cookies meant you weren't in trouble. You might be getting some bad news of some sort, but you weren't in trouble. His shoulders relaxed.

"Bless you," Sirius said dramatically, prying off the lid and helping himself. "I'm withering away, professor, _withering away."_

"Oh, yes, you can tell," McGonagall said sarcastically.

"So why am I here and not eating dinner?" Sirius asked.

"I just had a chat with Professor Dumbledore and Professor MacPherson a short while ago. They've requested I speak to you about your behavior," the woman said.

Sirius cocked a brow, carefully chewing the full cookie he'd just shoved in his mouth. Dumbledore? Ask McGonagall to discuss his behavior? A week into term?

The boy swallowed, wiping crumbs from his lips. "You mean, _MacPherson_ requested you speak to me about my behavior?"

"I did not say that," she said, though tilting her head in such a manner as though to say, _yes, that is basically what happened._

"Well! This is a nice change of pace for you," Sirius said, plucking another cookie from the tin. "You _never_ talk to me about my behavior."

"Yes, you are in fact a model student," the professor said dryly.

"I know!" Sirius said, as though he were appalled that other professors could not see this.

McGonagall sighed. "Black, did you call Professor MacPherson a 'Hot Tramp'?"

"I was quoting a song, professor," Sirius said.

"Did you also tell him that you worship the devil?"

"I told you that too, remember the end of last term? 'See you next year, professor, I'll be worshiping the devil all summer,'" Sirius said, recalling his departing words the previous school year.

"I trust you are not actually worshiping the devil," McGonagall said.

"You know I'm not," Sirius said. "MacPherson has no sense of humor."

McGonagall sighed again, clearly exhausted. "You know not everyone picks up on sarcasm, Black."

Sirius leaned forward, propping his elbows on the desk as he watched his head of house carefully. "Professor… does he _really_ think I sacrifice virgins and worship the devil?"

"He… sounded concerned," McGonagall said. She began to roll her eyes, but seemed to think better of it partway through, closing them instead.

"Oh, _Merlin,"_ Sirius said with a grin. "Don't tell him I don't."

"Black," McGonagall said, unamused.

"You have no idea how much I want to be known among his circle of friends as, 'that student that paints his face and tries to summon demons.' It would be _hilarious."_

"Why _did_ you wear makeup and face paint to his class?" McGonagall asked, seeming to be honestly curious.

"Act of protest, Professor," Sirius said with a nod before stuffing another cookie into his mouth.

This time McGonagall _did_ roll her eyes. Fair enough, it sounded like an excuse Sirius or his friends would come up with to justify something stupid they'd done. "And what were you protesting?"

"Oh, the first day MacPherson made us do a stupid 'getting to know you' exercise and he referred to Marlene as 'the girl with too much eyeshadow.' So, the rest of us decided to wear 'too much' eyeshadow, seeing as there's no rule against it."

McGonagall's spine straightened and her eyebrows rose. "He said that?"

Sirius nodded. In any other case he might have told her not to worry about it, but he knew for certain that Professor McGonagall would be on the students' side with this issue. McGonagall was a feminist, plain and simple.

"Interesting that he neglected to mention that when telling me and Professor Dumbledore about the incident," McGonagall said, not a bit of amusement present in her face.

"I don't know why he would have to report that to the headmaster _anyway_ , since, again, there's no rule about eyeshadow. There's a few rules about the uniform, sure, but makeup is very absent from the rulebook," Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"If only you applied the effort you put into finding loopholes in the school rules into your homework, Mr. Black," McGonagall sighed.

"Hey, I get _great_ marks in your class, McG," Sirius said, feigning offense.

"And Professor Binns' class? Professor Sprout's? And didn't you turn your charms homework in consistently late last year, and always folded into a paper airplane?"

"We're not talking about that," he said with an innocent smile.

Besides, the charmed paper airplanes always delighted Flitwick.

"I'll speak with Professor MacPherson," McGonagall said. "It's beyond inappropriate to comment on a student's appearance like that. Not to mention, unprofessional."

"Well, it's also not professional to take points away from a student for knowing more than you do," Sirius shrugged.

McGonagall cocked a brow.

"He took points from Remus because Remus corrected him during a lecture that was supposed to be a discussion," Sirius said.

"I'll speak with him about that as well," McGonagall sighed, shaking her head. "And I'll tell him that I spoke with _you_ about your behavior and it went as well as one could hope."

"Does that mean I can go?" Sirius asked, already getting up from his seat.

"Yes, Mr. Black, go enjoy dinner," McGonagall said. "And do not call Professor MacPherson a 'hot tramp' anymore."

"I mean, the 'hot' part was pretty generous, yeah," Sirius nodded.

"Do not call him anything outside 'Professor MacPherson' and 'Sir,' do you understand?"

"Can I still call you 'Hurricane Minerva?'"

McGonagall simply gave him a look.

"Only when appropriate, got it. If that's all, I'll be off to dinner. Can't summon demons on an empty stomach," Sirius said, heading for the door.

" _Mr. Black."_

"Fine, fine, I'll try to only summon _one_ demon, better?" Sirius said with a wink.

McGonagall rolled her eyes and shooed him out of her office. The boy merely grinned before pushing open the door.

"See you around, McG."

* * *

Lily had gotten a letter late in the day, the owl pecking at the window she had been sitting by in the library and nearly getting her thrown out for the noise. It was from her parents, which was odd, because she hadn't sent a letter home to _them_ yet, so they had obviously went out of their way to track down an owl.

In a panic, Lily tore open the letter and read it hastily, her heart pounding in her chest and hands trembling, fearing the worst. She cocked a brow at what was written before looking up and realizing she recognized the owl.

That was when Madam Pince walked over and told her to get rid of the owl unless she wanted to be banned from the library for the remainder of the week. Lily shooed the owl out the window and gathered her things together, rushing out of the library.

Her footsteps echoed off the castle walls as she went; most students were already at dinner. Marlene had been at Quidditch tryouts and was in the habit of taking the longest showers imaginable after practices, but she should certainly be in the great hall by _now_ , right?

Lily started down the stairs, dodging around a dark-haired boy as she went. She was about to reach the bottom of the staircase when there was a jolt and it began to move to the side. She grabbed blindly for the railing, momentum wanting to send her spiraling off the bottom edge as it moved. She was yanked back as someone grabbed a handful of her robes to keep her going off the edge.

"Thank you," Lily said before turning back to see who had kept her from falling. She frowned slightly, recognizing the dark-haired boy from earlier as none other than Sirius Black.

Truthfully, James Potter and Sirius Black irritated her so much that even the occasion of one of them doing something _nice_ was irritating.

On that note, it was strange seeing Sirius without James Potter at his side. Perhaps that's why she didn't recognize him when she'd been rushing by.

"Careful, Evans," Sirius said. "The stairs _always_ change when you're starving, it's like they know."

"Mm," Lily said noncommittally. She wasn't starving, she just had to find Marlene. Now that the staircase was changing direction she had to take a longer route to the great hall.

The stairs had hardly slid into their new position before Lily had darted off again, ignoring Sirius as he shouted, _"they never run out of food, Evans, calm down!"_

A ghost called after her in offense when she turned a sharp corner and stumbled through them by mistake. She called back a rushed apology before continuing her sprint toward the great hall, rubbing her chilled arms as she went.

She twisted around a pair of suits of armor taking a leisurely stroll and for a moment considered that if she attended a muggle boarding school, she would be where she wanted to go already.

The girl was nearly out of breath by the time she shoved the doors to the great hall open, looking around frantically to see which table her friends had decided to sit at this evening. She spotted Dorcas first, settled at the Hufflepuff table, with Emmeline immediately to her right. Seated across from them was Marlene, her blonde hair still damp from her post-practice shower and pulled back in a clip rather than in its usual curls.

Lily darted over, still clutching her letter in her hand.

Emmeline was the first to see her coming. "Hey Lily! We were wondering if you were going to show up."

"Did you lose track of time again?" Dorcas questioned. Lily had a habit of getting distracted with her homework or a book and would often find herself arriving late to meals and other events. It was why she often went out of her way to be early to class.

Lily didn't respond, however, opting to collapse onto the bench beside Marlene and toss her arms around the girl, nearly knocking both of them over in the process. Marlene dropped her fork and nearly knocked over her goblet of water, looking at Lily in surprise.

"You're the best," Lily said, still clinging to the girl.

"Not that I disagree, but what did I do?" Marlene asked, hugging Lily back in amusement.

Lily released Marlene and held the letter before her. "Your parents' owl just delivered this letter from _my_ parents."

"So I'm the best because my parents lent yours their owl?" Marlene asked, confused.

"You're the best because the letter says that Max went to the house to cast some protective spells," Lily said, grinning.

"Oh! Well, he didn't waste any time, I only wrote him on Monday," Marlene said, seeming vaguely impressed. "Don't worry about it, what's the point of having four older siblings if I can't get a favor out of them once in a while?"

"This is more than just a favor, I actually have time to try and earn the money for a sneakoscope without worrying that they've got no protection whatsoever," Lily said.

"Well, you were so worried, all I had to do was send a letter back home," Marlene shrugged.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Lily said, pulling Marlene into a hug again. "I mean it, this makes me feel so much better."

"I'm glad, Lily, I am, but also I can't eat when you're holding on to me like this," Marlene said with a pout. Lily let Marlene out of her grasp and the girl immediately went back to her mashed potatoes.

"I'll have to see if the house elves will let me make those cookies Max likes as a thank you," Lily said.

"He'd love that," Marlene smiled. She turned to Dorcas, "I can probably have him do the same with your parents, if you want."

"The only problem with that is that my mum is awfully suspicious of wizards she doesn't know. Maybe over the holiday? That way I can be there and calm her a bit," Dorcas said.

"Honestly, I haven't met her many times but if there were a fight between a Death Eater and your mum… I think I'd be a bit more concerned for the Death Eater," Emmeline smiled.

"I don't disagree," Dorcas laughed. "My dad can throw a punch, too, but he is very easily impressed when it comes to magic."

"My dad's not a fighter, he's… an accountant," Lily shrugged, beginning to fill her plate.

"That means he works with money, right?" Marlene asked. "I always forget."

"All the unfun parts of money. The numbers and the taxes and all that," Lily said. "I'm sure there's probably tough accountants out there, but my father's not one of them."

"Now I'm just picturing Hagrid in a cubicle with a tie," Emmeline said, glancing in the groundkeeper's direction.

"With pictures of all his exotic creatures he _definitely isn't hiding in his hut_ all around his desk," Dorcas added.

"Sounds nice, actually. He'd be horrid at it, of course," Emmeline said. "But nice."

"Maybe I'll frame a picture of my broomstick for my bedside table," Marlene mused.

"How'd Quidditch try-outs go, by the way?" Dorcas asked.

"Oh you'd love to know so that you can report back to the Hufflepuff team!" Marlene said in mock-outrage.

"I doubt whoever joins your team is going to make a difference in our practice routine," Dorcas said.

"Oh, these Gryffindors have such an ego," Emmeline tsked.

"Potter's got enough of an ego for the whole team," Lily said with a roll of the eye.

"How's he doing as captain?" Dorcas asked.

"Well, we haven't had a real practice yet so I guess we'll see how that goes," Marlene shrugged. "But he seems to be taking it seriously."

"Quidditch seems to be the only thing in the world that he actually cares about," Lily said.

"That's not true, he cares a great deal about keeping his hair messy," Emmeline smiled.

"He also cares very deeply about Severus' happiness and preventing it," Marlene added.

"He cares a lot about Sirius. I mean, Remus and Peter, too, yeah, but I'm waiting for Sirius and James to declare undying love for each other," Dorcas said.

"They did that third year," Emmeline said.

"Oh right! On Valentine's Day, I had forgotten," Dorcas said. "After they mocked Severus for not having a Valentine and he said ' _yes well I suppose you two idiots will always have each other,'_ so they rolled with it."

"Oh, he also cares about you, Lily," Marlene teased.

Lily rolled her eyes again. "He doesn't care about me. He might think I'm pretty but anything else I think is just a game for him because I turned him down."

"I dunno. He's _quite distressed_ that you keep turning him down," Dorcas smiled. "He asked about you on the train."

Lily cringed. "What did he ask?"

"Why you don't want to date him. I told him you thought he was annoying and he should leave you alone but again, boys are stupid," Marlene shrugged.

" _Ooh,_ but he thinks about you when you're not around! How sweet," Emmeline cooed. "He wants to hold your hand through the halls like he did with Sirius third year."

"Oh that's right, they really committed, didn't they?" Marlene snickered. "Severus was _so_ uncomfortable."

"Black got Potter flowers and everything," Lily recalled. "I think he stole them from the greenhouses and got detention."

"Well, it was very short notice," Emmeline pointed out.

"See, you could be a part of that, Lily," Dorcas laughed.

"That's quite all right," Lily cringed. "The day I walk hand-in-hand with James Potter is the day I've officially lost my mind, and I expect you all to have me committed."


	4. Keep Your Friends Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I love reading your thoughts, please consider leaving me a comment if you like what you read! I'm having so much fun writing this, I hope you guys are enjoying reading it, too. You should be getting regular updates for quite a while with this one.

" _The answer is moose."_

" _That wasn't an option."_

* * *

**Chapter Four: Keep Your Friends Close**

* * *

Classes were now well underway and O.W.L.s year was already proving to be overwhelming. It seemed that every professor felt the need to remind them nearly every class of how important the exams were for their future.

Lily's heart raced every time. Ever since Professor Slughorn had told her during her first year that she would make a grand healer, she'd had that career option lingering in the back of her mind. With the attacks going on outside Hogwarts and the growing number of students showing interest in dark arts within it, however, it would be a lie to say that the notion of being an auror hadn't crossed her mind.

But while becoming a healer was challenging, becoming an auror was downright intimidating. Lily had helped Alice, who had declared she would be an auror during her second year, study for some of the O.W.L.s the year before. There was so much to do, so much to remember to get the marks needed just to get into the N.E.W.T.s classes necessary.

Lily didn't understand how Alice could be so confident when it came to those exams but have to run away at the notion of speaking to Frank Longbottom. Lily's exams were still months away and her palms sweat every time they were mentioned.

Thankfully, McGonagall seemed to realize she had the whole rest of the school year to stress them out about O.W.L.s and today only mentioned briefly that it was important not to overlook even the most basic of spells, as one never knew what would turn up on the exam.

She was lecturing now on reversing unsuccessful transfigurations. It was more of a review than anything, mostly due to the fact that half the class had failed spectacularly in their attempts to turn books into mice the previous week.

To Lily's left, Marlene was pretending to take notes, all the while actually filling out a quiz from the latest issue of _Witch Weekly_. In front of her, Remus and Sirius were playing a game of hangman on a scrap piece of parchment between them, both having successfully achieved their transfigurations the previous week.

Peter was taking messy notes, mouth twisted into a frown in concentration. James was sketching out a representation of what appeared to be McGonagall's animagus form, occasionally scrawling some notes on a separate piece of parchment.

To Lily's right sat Severus, taking the occasional note and mostly checking his shabby old watch.

It seemed she wasn't the only one whose mind was wandering.

Carefully taking a spare sheet of parchment, she scribbled out the following:

_Missed you on the train and we haven't gotten to talk much since classes started. How was the end of your summer?_

She slid the parchment between herself and Severus. She'd spend the last two weeks of summer on holiday with the McKinnons, only coming home long enough to pack and leave again. That left little time for her family, much less her old friend.

Severus carefully slid the parchment on top of his notes and began to write a reply. When he was through, he passed the note back to her.

_**-The usual. Seems beyond my parents' grasp of courtesy to stop shouting at each other when I'm trying to sleep.** _

Lily frowned at the response and wrote back.

_Did the earplugs I got you work at all?_

"Reparifarge can undo the effects of _what_ , Mr. Potter?" McGonagall said, approaching the boy in question, still more focused on his sketch rather than any form of note taking.

Severus seemed to light up at the notion of James being caught drawing rather than listening on the lecture.

"A partially transfigured object. It can't be used to de-transform something that's been fully transformed, you need a specific counter-spell for that," James said without missing a beat.

"Very good, Mr. Potter. Do try and take _some_ notes. Now, this poses a dilemma when an object is _nearly_ fully transformed…"

Severus scowled a bit as James smirked and returned his attention to his drawing. The Slytherin scribbled out a response before sliding the parchment back to Lily.

_**-Not really. I need some magic ones.** _

It seemed any time Lily suggested Severus use something to solve one of his problems—ear plugs, a needle and thread, an aspirin, dry shampoo—Severus always would retort that he ought to try the magic equivalent instead.

She wrote back.

_Maybe there's some in Hogsmeade. We can check next visit, Em was saying at breakfast that she needs more of her curl setting potion anyway._

As she passed the note back to Severus, she smiled at the memory of the conversation in which Emmeline complained of her hair that wouldn't keep a curl without magical interference, and Dorcas complained about her own hair, which was just the opposite. Marlene had suggested they find some kind of enchantment to just trade.

Severus passed the parchment back.

_**-That's okay. I don't want to intrude on your cosmetic collecting mission. I was planning on going to the Hog's Head with some of my housemates anyway.** _

Lily made a face. The Hog's Head?

_Are you sure about that, Sev? The Hog's Head is so sketchy._

Severus slid the note under his things as McGonagall walked by, still lecturing. "… which is overall different from vanishing. The incantation for the vanishing spell is, of course, Mr. Black?"

"Hm? Oh, uh, 'evanesco,' Professor," Sirius said.

"Very good. Also, 'The greater a man's talents, the greater his power to lead astray,' put the hangman away," McGonagall said.

"What the hell is that from?" Sirius said, glancing at the quote beneath the hangman on the page that McGonagall had just solved.

" _Brave New World,_ Aldous Huxley. Put the hangman _away,"_ McGonagall said again. "Or it'll be five points from each of you."

"You're such a nerd, Moony," Sirius mumbled, stuffing the parchment in his bag.

Lily carefully took the parchment back from Severus once McGonagall's back was turned to read his response.

_**-Less likely to run into Potter and his friends there. Might actually enjoy myself.** _

After a quick glance back at McGonagall, Lily wrote back.

_I was going to say you likely wouldn't run into them while we go on our "cosmetic collecting mission" but Black has to be using_ _ something _ _in his hair, right?_

Severus stifled a laugh.

"Something funny, Mr. Snape?" McGonagall said.

"Something in my throat Professor, sorry," said Severus.

"Perhaps a cough drop," she said skeptically.

As soon as McGonagall went back to her lecture, Severus set quill back to parchment.

_**-I think he's started wearing eyeliner as well.** _

Lily smiled.

_He certainly has. He's very dedicated to being the prettiest boy on campus._

As though on cue, Sirius leaned back in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair as Lily slid the note back to Severus. He returned it shortly.

_**-I think he's trying to be the prettiest girl, too.** _

Lily glanced at Marlene, widely regarded as perhaps the prettiest in their year, with her big hazel eyes and fashionable platinum curls.

_Don't tell Marlene. She'll take it as a challenge and they'll spend all year trying to out-pretty each other._

Lily swore Severus rolled his eyes before writing his next response.

_**-That won't be hard. McKinnon would rather lick a toad than talk to me.** _

The girl frowned. The conversation had been going so well for a moment there, everything was so light-hearted.

"…which would be what, Miss McKinnon?" said McGonagall.

Marlene glanced up from her magazine, eyes wide. "Um…"

McGonagall watched the girl expectantly.

"Er, sorry, Professor, what was the question?" Marlene asked.

"Five points from Gryffindor. The next time you bring a magazine to my class, you'd best be transfiguring it," McGonagall said.

"Why didn't James get points taken for drawing? Or Remus and Sirius?" Marlene demanded, slightly outraged.

"Because, Miss McKinnon, they were still clearly listening to the lecture. Now, Mr. Pettigrew, same question."

Peter stammered. "An example of what you were talking about would be… um…" He shuffled through his notes frantically to find the answer. James subtly gestured to something he'd scribbled on the corner of his own parchment. "The animagus reversal spell."

"Very good, _Mr. Potter,"_ McGonagall said. "Five points from Gryffindor, your friends will learn nothing if you just give them the answer. Let me remind each of you that it is not shameful not to know something or to ask for help or clarification. Unless, of course, you were blatantly not paying attention, _Mr. Mulciber_. Five points from Slytherin, do put _your_ magazine away."

Lily waited a full five more minutes into the lecture to be sure that she would not be caught for passing notes and not paying attention before writing a response to Severus.

_In Marlene's defense, last time you spoke, you_ _ did _ _imply that her brother was in Hufflepuff because he was too stupid to qualify for the other houses._

Severus' response was quite short.

_**-Was I wrong?** _

Lily furrowed her brow.

_Michael's a lovely person._

Severus sighed.

_**-You dated him last year. You know he's an idiot.** _

Lily frowned once more. Yes, she had dated Michael McKinnon the previous year. He had been her first boyfriend and Marlene had wanted them to get married so that Lily could "officially" be her sister.

But it hadn't worked out. There were no hard feelings.

_He's not an idiot. He's not the most studious, sure, but he was very kind and he could read people so well._

Michael always knew when someone was upset, when someone needed to be left alone. Truthfully, Lily got along so well with all the McKinnons. Marlene had been her first friend she'd made at Hogwarts, staying up late that first night to talk about classes and the castle.

_**-It doesn't matter. He's an idiot for breaking up with you.** _

Lily cast Severus a brief, frustrated glance.

_It was mutual! We were better as friends._

Severus flipped the parchment over, having run out of room on the front.

_**-Anyway, McKinnon doesn't like me regardless of what I say. Anyone that thinks Potter and his friends are funny pretty much has to hate me, seeing as I'm the butt of all their ruddy jokes.** _

Lily glanced at the boys seated in front of them. She truly did have a hard time figuring out what it was about them that everyone found so charming and funny. Sirius was handsome, sure, but he was such an utter jerk sometimes that it sort of ruined it. James, well, he was annoying and convinced that he was God's gift to wizardkind. Peter felt so strangely out of place, sort of like a charity case.

And Remus, well… Remus was actually just lovely. He was smart, he was charming in a bashful sort of way, and he was rather funny. She completely understood why people enjoyed his company. She wasn't sure how he'd gotten caught up with the others.

_I'm sorry, Sev. But I'm a prefect this year, I'll try to get them to lay off._

Maybe she could talk to Remus. Maybe they would listen to him.

_**-Don't do that. You'll make it worse. It'll look like I need you to fight my battles.** _

Lily furrowed her brow again.

_But I'm your friend. I want to help._

Severus sighed.

_**-Please don't. I'll never hear the end of it.** _

Lily wasn't sure why the thought of her helping him was so bad. Was it because she was a girl? Because she was a prefect?

It couldn't be her blood status, right?

Knowing she likely wouldn't be able to change his mind, Lily simply wrote: _Fine._

And that was the end of that. Severus tucked their note away before McGonagall could notice it and Lily tried to focus on the lecture.

But unless McGonagall was about to talk about why the hell Severus couldn't deal with her helping him or when hanging out at a sketchy place like the Hog's Head became more appealing than spending time with her, Lily doubted she would be able to find it in herself to be interested.

Weren't they best friends? Weren't they supposed to help each other and spend time together? He had stopped tagging along with her to Hogsmeade the last few months of fourth year. Emmeline, Marlene, and Dorcas didn't seem to mind, glad that they could engage in traditionally feminine activities without Severus commenting on the shallowness of the Witch Weekly article on a potion that would keep eyeshadow in place all day or complaining about Madam Puddifoot's disposition.

And honestly, it wasn't as though Lily didn't love gossiping over a sugary drink at Puddifoot's or browsing through magical beauty products with the girls… but she did miss when she and Severus would take turns buying butterbeer and doing impressions of whatever dumb thing James Potter had said the previous week.

It seemed so long ago. It was only third year.

The bell rang and Severus was walking out the door and talking with his housemates before Lily even had a chance to pack her bag. She frowned again, remembering when he would insist on waiting with her and walking with her to her next class, even if it was out of his way. _He's wanted to fit in with his housemates for years,_ she reminded herself, trying to be happy that he finally got what he wanted.

"Witch Weekly says I've got commitment issues," Marlene said, still gathering her things as well.

"I could have told you that," Lily teased. Marlene had gone on dates with quite a few boys the previous two school years. Hardly anyone got a second date, and she called none of them her boyfriend. It left several of those boys angry that Marlene would humor them for one date, get bored, and move on to something else. Marlene simply lamented that she liked the attention, not the boys, and once she spent time with them properly, she lost interest.

"True, true, I _am_ the school slut, after all," Marlene said with a roll of the eye.

"You're not a slut, Marlene, you've just harmed too many fragile egos and calling you that was the only way to retaliate," Lily said, patting her friend lovingly on the shoulder.

"Thanks for not taking any points for drawing, Professor," James could be heard saying to McGonagall, handing her the parchment he'd been drawing on.

"Yes, well, you've made it clear you can draw and listen at the same time, Potter. Is this for me?" McGonagall asked, examining the drawing in her hand.

"I think it helps me focus more, honestly. And yes," James nodded.

For a brief moment, McGonagall seemed taken aback, and for a longer moment she allowed herself to look touched. "It's lovely, Potter, thank you."

Remus let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like, _"Teacher's pet!"_

"Well, if you're going to be _any_ teacher's pet, you ought to be Minerva McGonagall's pet," Sirius said, gesturing to her grandly.

"She's so wise!" James said.

"So beautiful!" added Sirius.

"The grandest professor in all of Hogwarts!" said Peter.

"Oh and by far the best head of house," Remus smiled, deciding to join in. Lily and Marlene couldn't help but snort at the display.

"Her eyes haunt me!" Sirius swooned.

"To be in the same room as her is an honor!" James declared.

McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Don't you lot have a class to get to?"

"Free period, we could definitely stay here and compliment you for the next hour and a half," Sirius said.

"Get out of my classroom," the professor said, gesturing to the door. As they began walking off, Lily glanced back and spied McGonagall smiling down at the drawing again.

Amazing. Even Minerva McGonagall, despite the detentions she'd given them and the headaches they'd given her, liked James Potter and his friends.

* * *

Sirius had barely been in the boy's dorm for more than three seconds before he'd discarded his books and his shoes and flopped face-first into his bed, his body sinking in to the plush blankets.

" _My love,"_ he mumbled into his pillows.

"Don't go to sleep, Pads. Full Moon planning session is underway," James said, taking a seat atop his trunk, placed at the foot of his bed.

Sirius groaned, rolling onto his back before pulling himself upright, as though it were the most difficult thing in the world. "Okay, okay."

"So, the full moon is Saturday," James said, gesturing to the calendar above Remus' bed. The date was circled in bold, red marker. As the calendar had been a gift from Sirius, who had grown tired of Remus' previous calendar choices which all featured generic, picturesque nature scenes, it boasted reprints of retro pin-up girls by a muggle artist.

This month's un-moving picture featured a grinning woman in the bath, kept modest by cleverly positioned bubbles.

"Right, which means I'm probably going to miss Friday, at least the afternoon classes," Remus said, sitting at the edge of his bed and already looking exhausted. "When I told Frank I couldn't patrol this weekend, he asked me why, and I had to dig out the 'my mother is ill' excuse again. And now he's writing to _his_ mother to get me some kind of home remedy she swears by. I felt so guilty."

"What did you tell him she had?" Peter asked.

"I stayed vague, said it was some kind of muggle infection," Remus sighed.

"Well, the good news is, you only have to make excuses like that… once a month until June," Sirius said.

"And then again next year to whoever the new Head Boy and Girl are," James cringed.

"And then the year after that," Sirius said. "Unless you get that badge, too, then no worries."

Remus groaned slightly.

"I mean, I know you're going to say 'no,' but I bet Frank would cool about it if you just told him what was going on, he's a really stand up guy," James said.

" _You guys_ aren't even supposed to know, and I still can't believe that you still like me after you figured it out," Remus frowned. "And I'm positive that Dumbledore is the only reason Snape hasn't said anything. To our knowledge."

He cast Sirius a glare.

"I said I was sorry!" Sirius said. "Like fifty-something times! And if Snivellus utters a word to anyone, you won't be the only one out of here. I'll be on my way to Azkaban for killing him."

"They'd best book a cell for two, then, because I'll be right there with you," James said.

"I'll, um, help hide the body?" Peter said with a nervous laugh.

"You'll have to stay here to make sure our legacy lives on, Pettigrew," James said with a nod. "Luckily, no one will suspect you."

"You'd better visit us there. Or at least write," Sirius said to Remus.

Remus snorted, finally smiling. "If any of you end up in Azkaban without me, I promise I'll at least _write_."

"We'll hold you to that," James said. "So when do you go down to the Shrieking Shack?"

"Promfrey walks me out at sunset. Wait until it's dark before you come out, that way she'll be gone and I'll already be transformed. I don't want you guys to see that, it's… not pleasant," Remus said.

"Any more unpleasant than that time we all got food poisoning?" Sirius asked.

"I still swear Snivellus did that somehow," James mumbled.

"Just wait until after dark," Remus said again. "Pete's small enough to hit the knot on the tree to make it stays still long enough for you guys to get into the passageway."

"And then we just follow that until we meet up with you," Peter nodded.

"It's _absolutely essential_ you're transformed before you get there," Remus stressed. "And be sure to stash the cloak somewhere so no one knows what you're up to on the way there and back."

"We've snuck around campus after dark hundreds of times, and _we'll be transformed._ Don't fret so much," Sirius said.

"I don't want to hurt you guys, and I don't want you getting caught. This goes beyond the usual pranks, you guys are breaking a couple really serious laws—" Remus started before Sirius cut him off.

"I only break _serious_ laws," he said.

"Shut _up,"_ James groaned.

"Anyway, if you change your mind, I get it. It's not too late to back out, you're all risking a lot," Remus said, avoiding eye contact with the rest of them.

"We spent three years sorting this out for you, mate, we're not gonna back out now that we got it to work," James said.

"You wouldn't let us go the last few full moons last term because you wanted us to be good enough at transforming that we didn't need our wands and could do it like that," Sirius said, snapping his fingers, "And we're there, Moony."

"Check it out," Peter said, leaping off his bed and turning into a rat in mid-air. He seemed to have miscalculated, however, falling in a heap on a pile of socks rather than landing gracefully. He scurried around the floor, underneath Remus's bed, and dragged out a chocolate frog before turning back to his human form, seated on the floor.

"Give me that," Remus said, taking the frog back from Peter, who simply pouted before climbing back onto his bed. "Look, I'm just… I'm not going to be myself. I won't understand why you're there, I might try and fight you."

"Well then it's a good thing that James and I can turn into animals that can handle a fight," Sirius said.

"I've, um, well I've got pointy teeth as a rat," Peter said, trying to be helpful.

"I'll assert myself as alpha and that'll be that," Sirius said casually.

"What makes you think you'll be alpha?" James asked, cocking a brow.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sirius asked.

"I turn into a bigger animal than you," James pointed out.

"You're a deer, it's not that vicious," Sirius shrugged.

"I have antlers! What have you got?" James demanded.

"Claws! Look, I could beat you in a fight as a person _and_ as a dog, Prongs."

"I really don't think that's true. Back me up, Moony."

"Um," Remus said hesitantly. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" James said.

"Sirius is scrappy," Remus shrugged. "I think… I think he'd probably win, honestly."

"But James has _antlers_ ," Peter said.

"Sirius has claws and sharper teeth!" Remus said.

"You're just on his side because his form is closest to a wolf," James mumbled.

"James is bigger and hooves can do some damage," Peter argued.

"Well there's only one way to settle this," Sirius said, getting off his bed and promptly turning into a large, black dog. He ran at James and jumped at him, effectively pinning the boy down on his bed. He leaned over James and growled.

"Oh, get off, I'm not fighting you in the middle of the dorm, the house elves already got upset with us last year over the fire you set," James said, unamused. Padfoot whined, disappointed, before jumping off of James and turning back into Sirius.

"I didn't mean to! And I haven't lit a cigarette in here ever since," he said.

"Let's just get some more feedback, then maybe you two don't have to _actually fight_ ," Remus said.

* * *

At dinner that night, they approached Lily and her friends in the hopes of doing just that.

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas had decided to join the Ravenclaws over at their table tonight, finding that many of Emmeline's housemates had formed a study group and simply taken plates back up to the dorms with them in order to continue working there, so there was quite a bit of extra room.

The girls were taking advantage of less people being around by openly discussing muggle culture.

"I just don't understand why you think he's attractive," Marlene said before shoving a forkful of spinach into her mouth.

"Look at his cheekbones," Emmeline said, gesturing to a picture of David Bowie in a muggle magazine. She sighed dreamily. "And his _hair._ Merlin, his hair is so nice this era."

"He's wearing a lot of makeup," Lily said, looking at the picture in question. "I think when I see him, I think of him in much the same way I do when I see a girl with pretty makeup? That I might like to try doing mine that way at some point, just to see."

"I love that androgynous look," Emmeline sighed again.

"He is pretty," Lily nodded. "Not sure if it's for me."

"I miss the weird jumpsuits he used to wear, personally," Dorcas said. "Anything in there on Michael Jackson?"

"Yeah they did a little interview about the greatest hits album he put out," Emmeline said, glancing at the cover of the magazine briefly. "And Queen, too, I have a good feeling about their next album."

Emmeline paused a moment, then said, "Wouldn't it be great if Queen and David Bowie did a song _together?"_

"Merlin! Write them a letter, I need that in my life," Sirius said from behind Emmeline, causing her to jump in surprise. James, Remus, and Peter were not far behind.

"Hello," Emmeline said softly.

"See, if Bowie can wear all that makeup, I can definitely pull off eyeliner," Sirius said, gesturing to the magazine.

"Okay, but Bowie could probably dress as a goblin and pull it off," Remus said.

"I don't think even he would do that," Dorcas said, taking the magazine from Emmeline's grasp and searching for Michael Jackson.

"Anyway, we're not here to talk about music, we have a very important question," James said.

"No, Lily still doesn't want to date you," Marlene said.

"That's not—" Sirius started.

"Let her speak for herself!" James said, gently placing a hand on Lily's shoulder.

The redhead flicked his hand away, "I don't want to date you."

"Are you absolutely—" said James.

"That's not why we're here. Who would win in a fight between a dog and a stag?" Sirius said.

"What, um, I mean, w-what kind of dog?" Emmeline asked, fiddling with her hair.

"Good point," said Dorcas, glancing up from her article, "It isn't like, a Chihuahua is it?"

"Roughly German Shepherd sized," said Sirius.

"Why are they fighting?" Lily asked, buttering a dinner roll.

"Because they're idiots," Remus said.

"Okay… Stag," Marlene said with a nod.

"Stag," Lily agreed. James beamed and looked as though he might float away.

"Dog," Emmeline said.

"Oh yeah, dog," Dorcas nodded.

"How the hell would a dog beat a stag?" Marlene asked.

"Fangs and claws," Emmeline said, bewildered that this was an argument that they were having.

"Stags are bigger, though," Lily said.

"So? It's not like it's a moose. A moose would beat everyone. You don't fuck with mooses," Dorcas said. She paused. "Meese. Moose. What's the plural of 'moose'?"

"I think it's just 'moose,'" Emmeline said. "Anyway, dogs are scrappier."

"That's what I said," said Remus.

"A stag has antlers!" Marlene said.

"That's what _I_ said," Peter sighed.

"Okay the stag has antlers, but the dog's got teeth _and_ claws to work with. It's a little more versatile than ramming your head into something," Emmeline pointed out.

"But if you're an animal that doesn't have antlers too, the stag really only has to get you with his like one time, I'd think, because you couldn't hold them back," Lily said.

"Well this is getting us nowhere, we're still tied," Sirius sighed.

"The answer is moose," Dorcas nodded.

James frowned. "That wasn't an option."

"Oi! Longbottom!" Sirius called toward the Gryffindor table. "Who would win in a fight, a dog or a stag?"

"Stag," Frank called back.

"Oh, who asked you?" Sirius said, disgusted.

"… you did?" Frank said, baffled.

"Orpington! Same question!" Sirius called.

"Dog, definitely," Alice said.

"You're beautiful, Orpington!"

"Thank you, Sirius!"

"We need to ask someone else," Remus sighed.

"C'mon," James said, leading the four boys to the center of the staff table where Dumbledore was dipping biscotti into his evening coffee.

"Hello, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew. How can I help you?" the old man said gently. "You should get a name you go by collectively, by the way, you're always together anyway."

"We're the, er, _Marauders_ , sir," Peter said awkwardly.

"Ah, very good," Dumbledore said, seeming delighted at the notion. "Now, how may I help you?"

"Who would win in a fight, a dog or a stag?" James asked.

"Why would they fight?" Dumbledore asked.

"Did Hagrid do something?" McGonagall asked from the seat directly beside Dumbledore.

"No, he didn't," Sirius assured her.

"Because the dog and stag are idiots," Remus said.

"What kind of dog?" inquired Dumbledore.

"German Shepherd-ish," provided Sirius.

"Hmm…" Dumbledore considered.

"Stag," McGonagall said with little consideration.

"I had thought so too," Dumbledore said.

"Ha!" James said to Sirius triumphantly.

"But then, I thought, no, probably the dog," Dumbledore nodded.

"'Ha' to you!" Sirius said to James.

"Albus, a dog would not beat a stag in a fight, a stag has antlers and dogs aren't very smart," McGonagall said.

"You are biased due to your time as a cat, Minerva, dogs can be quite wise, not to mention the claws and the teeth," Dumbledore said. "Now, if the animal in question had been a _moose."_

"Oh a moose would destroy them all, hands down," McGonagall agreed.

"Why is everyone caught up on the non-existent moose?" James said, frustrated. "Come on."

They went up and down the staff table, the Ravenclaw table, the Hufflepuff table, and the Gryffindor table posing their question. They even asked Emma Vanity, a friendly enough girl on the Slytherin Quidditch team.

They were still tied.

"We have to just test it out," Sirius said as they left the great hall.

"It's the only option! Let's go now while everyone is at dinner," James said.

"Or you could just not fight each other since you're friends and all," Remus said.

"Nope, nope, we've got to settle this," James said.

"What if one of you really hurts the other?" Peter asked.

"I'll go easy on Prongs, don't worry," Sirius said, pushing open the great front doors of the castle.

"I have antlers!" James exclaimed.

" _Shhh,"_ Remus said, glancing about to make sure no one heard before following them out to the grounds.

Remus and Peter took turns explaining to their friends that what they were doing was both stupid and probably dangerous the entire walk to the Quidditch pitch, which James knew wasn't booked until the Slytherin try-out on Saturday. Thankfully, with the moon nearly full, lights were unnecessary.

"Don't kill each other," Remus sighed. "It'll be really hard to explain to your families what happened."

"My family wouldn't care unless it was Regulus," Sirius shrugged.

"Your uncle kind of likes you," James said.

"Okay, my uncle and maybe Andromeda would care. But it doesn't matter because I'm going to destroy Prongs and then take his place as the Potter son," Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"I'm going to destroy you and keep your hair as a trophy," James said, stepping forward and transforming effortlessly into a stag. He craned his neck as though to emphasize how tall he was. Sirius rolled his eyes before promptly transforming into Padfoot, much shorter but still not all that small.

Padfoot growled and Prongs bleated in response. For a moment, they went back and forth.

"Didn't they talk enough shit on the way here?" Remus sighed, watching them "speak" to each other. They had learned early on that in their animagus forms, Sirius, Peter, and James could understand each other pretty easily. It didn't sound like English, it still sounded like barking, squeaking, or bleating, but somehow they still knew what the other meant.

Remus would be lying to say he hadn't wondered long and hard over whether or not they'd be able to understand him and vice-versa when he transformed. He certainly hoped so.

Once they had each "said" their piece, Prongs trotted to the other side of the pitch, turning back and lowering his head, baring his antlers. Padfoot growled, body low to the ground and ready to attack.

"This is so stupid," Remus said.

"Do you remember the first aid charms Flitwick made us look up in detention last year?" Peter asked.

"Most of them."

"Good, because I do not."

A moment later, Prongs and Padfoot charged. Remus and Peter took a few steps back as the stag and dog before them sprinted full speed at one another, cringing the closer they got.

Remus flinched as they made contact with a loud _crack!_ Peter covered his eyes.

Padfoot had managed to miss every point of Prongs' antlers, which was all well and good, except that their skulls had crashed full speed into each other. They collapsed in a heap, each letting out a distressed noise before stumbling back to their feet, shaking their heads as they went.

"Are they dead?" Peter said, eyes still covered.

"Not yet," said Remus.

Padfoot clumsily jumped at Prongs, knocking him over. The two rolled about the field, nipping at each other and shoving at each other. Prongs stomped at Padfoot. Padfoot swung a claw toward Prongs. Everything seemed half-hearted since the initial impact, and they knocked each other over only two or three more times before each of them rolled off to the side.

Prongs was the first to turn back into James.

"Time out, time out, my head is killing me," James said, clutching his skull.

Padfoot turned back into Sirius and immediately rubbed at his head as well. "There are no time-outs in the animal kingdom! Fuck… but me too, Mate."

"Do you two idiots still remember who you are?" Remus asked. Peter lowered his hands from his eyes.

"Of course, I'm Sirius Grey and he's John Potter," Sirius joked before flinching and rubbing at his head again.

"Draw?" James asked, offering Sirius his hand. "We're too evenly matched."

"Draw," Sirius said, shaking James' hand before they shakily got to their feet.

"Matched in stupidity, maybe," Remus said, approaching them. "You need to see Promfrey?"

"… maybe," Sirius said, throwing an arm around James' shoulders so they could help keep each other upright.

"Yeah, we might have concussions," James added.

"Let's go, then," Remus said.

Peter sighed, "I wish one of us could turn into a moose."


	5. Face The Strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wrote Remus the Werewolf this time around, which was... weird. I hope you guys like how I decided to portray them all in their animagus forms, I decided to just have fun with it. Let me know in a comment!
> 
> Part of this chapter is... kind of NSFW? No graphic details, just casual mentioning of some things. This fic is M, nothing you guys can't handle if you realized that when you clicked on it.

" _We'll give it one more minute. Just to be safe."_

" _Literally none of this is safe."_

* * *

**Chapter Five: Face The Strange**

* * *

"Every smell in this room has been multiplied by ten," Remus groaned, burying his head beneath his pillow in an attempt to block out the smells in question.

"Aw, you're like a pregnant lady," Sirius cooed.

The comparison wasn't _too_ far off. Remus' body ached. Smells were stronger. He got nauseous easily. His mood could change in an instant.

Oh, how he hated the moon.

"For fuck's sake, you guys, you don't even have to actually _do_ your laundry, you just have to put it in the bin and let the house elves do it, _why is that so hard?"_ Remus said, his voice still muffled by the mattress.

"Well, our strategy tends to be to wait until we've got one clean pair of underpants a piece," James admitted.

Remus groaned again, burying himself deeper into his bed.

"Why don't you go to the hospital wing if it's bothering you so much? I'm sure Promfrey would give you something, it's not like she doesn't know you're turning tonight," James suggested.

"I don't want to go to the hospital wing any sooner than I have to," Remus said. "I'm there _every month_ , it gets old fast."

"Yeah, but you spent all day yesterday puking, moaning in pain, and then suddenly getting angry and penning letters to MacPherson that had swears I've never even encountered before," Peter said.

"Yeah it's a good thing we caught you before you sent them," Sirius said.

"MacPherson is a—" Remus started.

"We know what you think of him, you made that very clear in the letters," James said. "He already doesn't like you, let's not insult his mother in those very creative ways you insulted her."

"I am definitely tucking those insults away for later, though," Sirius nodded.

Remus groaned yet again.

"You know what you need," Sirius said, plopping down on Remus' bed so that the other boy bounced on the mattress slightly. Remus peeked out from beneath the pillow as Sirius dug in his pockets, finally pulling out a wrinkled cardboard container.

"You're an awful influence," Remus said.

"You know it's the only thing that blocks out the other smells," Sirius said in a sing-song voice. "Plus, you're the only one that ever smokes with me, Moon."

"Yeah well, I enjoy breathing," James said with a shrug. "And the one time Worm smoked with you, he got sick."

"Who would have thought that breathing in chemicals would do that?" Peter cringed.

"Yeah, yeah, smoking is bad," Sirius said, waving away James and Peter's comments as though they were simply an annoying fly. He held the pack of cigarettes before Remus' face again in a taunting fashion.

"Okay, let's go," Remus said, rolling off of his bed. He stood upright and immediately lost his balance, flailing his arms a bit to keep from falling over. He shook his head slightly before slipping on his shoes and heading to the door of their dormitory.

"Smoke buddy!" Sirius said triumphantly, following Remus.

"Hey!" James said before they could leave, pulling out one of the water bottles he used during Quidditch practice and tossing it Remus' way. Remus did not catch it. "Drink water at least if you're gonna go do that."

"Fine, fine," Remus said, fetching the bottle from where it landed and clearly annoyed.

"You _know_ you get dehydrated easy at this part of the cycle," James said. "And you just nearly fell over."

"He'll drink the water, _Mum,"_ Sirius said, pushing open the door and heading out with Remus.

James sighed as the door closed behind them and after a moment, Peter said, "Up for some chess?"

"Yeah, okay," James replied.

After a quick discussion on the way down to the common room, Sirius and Remus decided that the Astronomy tower would be their best bet as far as secluded places to light up went. It wasn't a far walk, and during daylight on a Saturday there wouldn't be any classes in session. If it were any other time of the month they'd simply sit on the windowsill in the dorm with the window open and smoke there.

But Remus needed to get a little further away from the dorms and the smells right about now.

"You're a bloody awful prefect, you know that?" Sirius said as Remus pulled out his wand and unlocked the door to the Astronomy classroom, letting himself and Sirius inside. Sirius tsked, shaking his head. "Breaking in to the astronomy tower to smoke cigarettes."

"Take it up with Dumbledore, he knew I was friends with you idiots," Remus said, leading the way up the steep steps that would take them to the outside, topmost part of the tower.

"But did he know you would succumb to peer pressure so easily?" Sirius teased.

"Well I mean you _are_ exceptionally charming, remember?" Remus mocked, rolling his eyes. Wind ruffled his hair as he finally reached the top of the tower and he breathed deep. While the rest of the castle smelled better than the dormitory, it often smelled somehow both damp and dusty and was annoying in it's own way this close to the full moon.

The grounds were a vast improvement. He already felt better.

"Ah, yes, yes, that's true," Sirius nodded, handing Remus a cigarette before pulling out his wand to light his own.

Remus had no idea why the smell of cigarette smoke was preferable to all other smells that assaulted him when he was in this state. Perhaps it reminded him of his father's pipe and the nostalgia calmed his nerves. Perhaps it was the fact that the smell would linger just a bit and seem to tone down everything else.

Whatever it was exactly, Remus chose not to question it, instead lighting his cigarette and inhaling.

"Really it's a wonder you manage to have any free will at all, being around this much charm constantly," Sirius said, leaning against one of the ramparts.

Remus snorted. "Somehow I manage. It seemed like you had Marlene at least playing along a little while back."

"Bless her heart, McKinnon always plays along," Sirius smiled.

"What's the deal with you two anyway?" Remus asked, taking a drag.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you like Marlene?"

"Everyone likes Marlene," Sirius shrugged.

"Do you _fancy_ Marlene?" Remus elaborated, taking a seat on the stone floor, cooled from the shadow of one of the ramparts.

" _Everyone_ fancies Marlene," Sirius said, blowing smoke. "I don't flirt with her all the time for fun."

"You flirt with _everyone_ for fun. James said you hit on Flitwick yesterday," Remus pointed out. "And you got detention for calling MacPherson a hot tramp."

"Okay, so I flirt for fun. She's just… a little more fun to flirt with than most," Sirius shrugged.

"Sirius has a cru- _ush,"_ Remus mocked. Sirius blew smoke in his direction, which was exceptionally ineffective as the wind shifted and the smoke drifted right back into his own face.

"Wasn't aware we came up here to discuss my love life, Professor Lupin," Sirius said.

"I'm ready to discuss anything that's not how much of a tosser MacPherson is or the fact that in a couple of hours I have to painfully transform into a dark creature," Remus said, flicking ash to the side. Anything beside those two subjects ought to keep him fairly calm. The cigarette was already helping significantly.

Sirius sat down on the floor as well, stretching his legs out before him. "Not much to talk about. We flirt. We've kissed like twice and it was mostly a joke. Not really sure how to transition from 'hey I want to snog you as a punch line' to 'hey I just kind of want to snog you.'"

"I guess just _saying_ , 'hey, I just kind of want to snog you' is probably not gonna work," Remus said, taking a drink from the water bottle that James insisted he bring. He made a mental note to thank James later, as he'd certainly acted more irritated than anything about his friend fussing over him at the time.

"She would probably think I'm joking. It's not like I don't enjoy the joking, but now I seem to have boxed myself into a corner where that's all that's going on and I don't know how to _not_ joke with her," Sirius said.

"So what you're saying," Remus said, his eyes lighting up, "Is that you don't know how to be _serious_ around her?"

"Shit, how did I miss that perfect joke set up?" Sirius said, eyes wide and obviously disappointed in himself. Remus laughed. "But yeah. Basically."

"Write her a note," Remus shrugged. "That's probably what I would do if I dated."

"You can date, Moony, nothing's stopping you," Sirius said.

"Once a month I become a literal monster and leading up to it I get incredibly ill and irritable, I can't date a person," Remus said, shaking his head.

"Don't let the damn moon win, you deserve to go through the same bullshit the rest of us do trying to figure out how the hell dating works," Sirius said with a nod, exhaling smoke as he went.

"So, what, I ask a girl out, things go okay, we start dating and then? Then I lie to her about what I am? Then I expect her to trust me when I've given her no reason to? Or I tell her and hope she's not so hopelessly terrified of me that she wants to stick around and deal with all the baggage?" Remus asked, shaking his head. "There's no future with me. Why bother?"

"Oh come on, you can date without making a lifelong commitment, no one's looking for a spouse—well, okay, I think Prongs has his wedding with Evans planned out already—but no one _sane_ is looking for a spouse in school. It doesn't need to be that intense," Sirius said. "Just don't do what I did and base your entire relationship on joking so that when you want it to be real you have no idea how to do that."

"It's all a moot point anyway, I'm not really interested in anyone," Remus shrugged.

"No one?" Sirius cocked a brow. _"No one's_ caught your eye?"

"Well, I certainly think Marlene is pretty but like you said, everyone does," Remus said. "Emmeline has pretty eyes. Alice is pretty. Dorcas is cute. So is Lily, but I'm sure Prongs would kill me if I even implied I might find her attractive."

"Probably," Sirius agreed.

"It's not like I want to date them, they're nice to look at," Remus shrugged.

"Lots of girls are like that. Lots of _boys_ are like that. Just nice to look at," Sirius said. "Then sometimes you talk to them and they ruin it."

"I like talking to them fine. Emmeline started talking to me about comic books after MacPherson gave me a hard time, that's nice," Remus said. "But it's not like… I don't know, it's not like when Prongs talks about Lily, you know?"

"You don't have an unhealthy obsession?" Sirius smirked.

Remus snorted. "Nah, but I mean, he honestly thinks she's the greatest girl in this entire school, and you can tell it would make his year if she agreed to go out with him. Werewolf issues aside, my feelings are very… platonic."

"Wish my feelings for Marlene would go back to being platonic, life was easier," Sirius said, setting his cigarette to his lips again.

"Just don't end up like Frank and Alice, it's getting hard to watch," Remus said.

Sirius cringed, "If I ever end up like that with anyone, hex me."

"Just remember you told me to."

"I probably won't."

"Really, though, if anyone can figure it out, you should be able to… you've got the most experience with girls out of all of us," Remus said, referring to the Marauders as a whole.

"Not that it's even that much," Sirius scoffed. "But if you believe Bertha Jorkins, I've got a harem going."

"Oh, that's right, I forgot that most of Hogwarts thinks you've slept around quite a bit," Remus laughed. "To be fair, I mean, the whole thing did _start_ truthfully."

Sirius groaned. "Yeah, okay. Jane Webster gave me a handjob. Why she told Bertha, I don't know. Before I knew it, James was telling me that apparently I had an orgy with the Hufflepuff Quidditch team."

"How quickly things escalate," Remus snickered.

"I was such a nice boy before I was corrupted, it was just a downward spiral from there," Sirius said dramatically.

"You weren't _that_ nice," Remus said.

"I'm a delight, you twat," Sirius said, playfully shoving Remus in the shoulder. The pair laughed for a moment before settling back against the ramparts and flicking aside ash from their cigarettes.

"Hey," Sirius said, "Look at what I learned to do at a show."

Remus cocked a brow as Sirius took a deep drag from his cigarette. He rounded out his lips after removing the cigarette and one by one breathed out thick rings of smoke. Once he'd completely exhaled each ring, he grinned, triumphant.

"Impressive, Pads," Remus smiled. "You should add that to your resume."

"Special skills: smoke rings and puns based upon my own name," Sirius said with a nod.

"Don't forget charm," Remus reminded him.

"Yes, yes, charm and the art of seduction since I managed to somehow bed the entire Hufflepuff team without realizing it," Sirius said. "Everyone will be begging to hire me."

"Oh, yes. You're invaluable," Remus nodded, attempting to keep a straight face.

"I know!" Sirius said, as though it were obvious. "Also, mate, you've already got stubble since we came out here."

Remus set a hand to his chin, feeling the scratchy hair that Sirius referred to and groaned slightly. He'd already shaved twice today. Another annoying symptom this close to the moon.

"Maybe I should just let it grow. Give it a couple cycles and I'll be giving Dumbledore a run for his money," Remus said, unamused.

"Grow it out and sell it to Prongs and Wormtail, they can't grow facial hair to save their lives," Sirius said. It would take James months to grow a sad excuse for a mustache that really just looked like he had dirt on his face. Peter wasn't _as_ hopeless, but his facial hair was strangely fair and patchy, and never looked quite right.

Sirius had little issue, falling nicely between the James Potter levels of not being able to grow facial hair and Remus Lupin, "I just shaved an hour ago, why is this happening?!" levels of very much being able to grow facial hair. He just tended to prefer the clean-shaven look.

Ah, puberty.

Remus' eyes lit up, "Oh, we need to tell James that we overheard Lily say that she likes facial hair."

Sirius pointed to Remus as though he had just said something brilliant (which, he had). "Yes. Yes, we do. If Evans grows a sense of humor we might be able to get her to play along, too."

"We'll point him in the direction of hair growth potions," Remus added.

"Advise him that a well groomed mustache drives her wild, the ends _must_ be curled," Sirius nodded.

"Let's tell him next week, though, when I can fully enjoy him scrambling around to grow a mustache quickly," Remus said.

"Absolutely, if neither of us forget by then. I already forgot what that charms assignment was supposed to be about and I went to the class yesterday," Sirius said.

"In the meantime," Remus said, rubbing at his stubbly face again. "Do I shave again or just accept that this is how it's going to be until the full moon passes?"

"You only have a few more hours," Sirius pointed out, pressing the butt of his cigarette into the stone floor to put it out. "I'd say just accept it."

* * *

The sun had barely gone down minutes earlier. James and Sirius crouched low near some bushes, hidden beneath the invisibility cloak. Peter had already turned into Wormtail, perched on James' shoulder. They all hadn't been able to fit under the cloak in their human forms since about second year. Sirius and James hardly fit without basically embracing and still nearly showing their ankles.

So, Sirius turned into Padfoot on the walk through the castle to fit a bit better. He had only changed back now to better communicate with James, who wouldn't fit under the cloak at all as Prongs.

"How much longer do you reckon we should wait?" James said.

"He said after dark, it's dark, I think we'll be okay," Sirius said, their eyes still fixed on the Whomping Willow.

James checked his watch. "We'll give it one more minute. Just to be safe."

"Literally none of this is safe," Sirius smiled. Wormtail squeaked in what they could only assume was agreement. They would understand him better once they transformed as well.

"We could go ahead and transform, I guess," James said, glancing around cautiously before removing his cloak. Sirius immediately morphed into Padfoot's large dog form. James carefully folded his cloak before stashing it carefully in the bushes and out of sight. He gently took Wormtail off his shoulder and set him in the grass before transforming.

He shook his head a bit as his antlers grew in. That part always seemed strangely uncomfortable, regardless of how many times they had practiced switching between their animal and human forms.

Padfoot let out a low whine. "You think you'll fit in the passageway, Mate?"

Prongs glanced at the tree. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"And you both made fun of me for turning into a small animal," Wormtail was squeaking boastfully.

Padfoot barked. "Well, go make yourself useful, Pipsqueak, we didn't go through all this to loiter _outside_ the passage."

Wormtail nodded before scurrying quickly across the grass. Padfoot and Prongs watched as the tree's mighty branches swung low, missing Wormtail by a few inches each time.

"I bet if I scooted on my belly, I could get by," Padfoot bayed, lowering himself to his stomach and inching forward. The tree swung at him and he yelped as a branch swatted at the tip of his ear.

"Good strategy," Prongs bleated.

Wormtail pressed the knot near the bottom of the trunk and the willow stopped so suddenly that Prongs and Padfoot couldn't help but flinch. They eyed the branches suspiciously for no more than a few seconds before approaching the base of the tree.

"Nice work, Worm. Climb on, it'll be a long walk for a rat," Padfoot yipped, leaning low for Wormtail to climb atop his head. Keeping his head low, Padfoot slipped into the passageway easily. Once inside, he turned around so that he and Wormtail could watch as Prongs cautiously maneuvered his antlers into the passage.

So focused on not snagging his antlers, Prongs paid little attention to his feet teetering on the edge of the opening. His hoof slipped, leaving the stag tumbling gracelessly through the entrance before crashing on the ground before Padfoot and Wormtail.

"All right?" Wormtail squeaked.

"The majestic stag!" Padfoot mocked.

"I'm okay! I'm okay," Prongs bellowed, pulling himself upright.

"Let's go then!" Padfoot barked eagerly, leading the way down the passage. Padfoot moved with little issue, Wormtail content on his head. Prongs found himself occasionally having to duck as the ceiling would suddenly get a bit lower than it had been.

He hoped that over time, he would come to memorize where he had to duck rather than only realizing it once the point of one of his antlers reached the ceiling.

"It's a good thing that dogs have decent night vision, it's ruddy dark in here," Padfoot growled. Every now and again a small orb of light would flicker on above them, but it was always brief and dim, as though it was only enchanted to stay on as long as it took for them to pass.

"Perhaps you should tell Dumbledore to install lanterns," Prongs bleated sarcastically. "Or a chandelier."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to make this place a bit more homey," Wormtail squeaked.

"Exactly. It's a grim place, but must it look the part?" bayed Sirius. "It's still cozier than my parents' house, though."

The three paused, hearing a terrible sound somewhere between a howl and a scream, followed quickly by some scraping noises. Their hearts dropped at the noise.

"We're getting close," Prongs bleated softly.

They walked a short distance more before the tunnel grew lighter, light peeking in through a small entrance. Ever cautious of Wormtail on his head, Padfoot slipped through the opening into the room above. Prongs sighed, cursing his antlers again as he tilted his head sideways in an attempt to fit them through without getting his head stuck. This whole process would be much simpler if he could simply turn back into James until he climbed through and turn back, but as the strange howling continued to echo through the shack, Prongs reminded himself that Moony would be furious to know any of them chanced becoming human after entering the shack.

Once his head was through, it was much easier to pull the rest of his body in to the room.

"I can't believe you didn't get stuck, I figured we'd have to leave you there and get you in the morning," Padfoot bayed.

"We'll have to come back at another point in the month and make the hole bigger," James sighed. Padfoot nodded, nearly knocking Wormtail from his perch atop his head.

"Whoops, sorry, Wormtail."

"I'm okay!"

Padfoot started up the stairs and Prongs frowned. Or, at least he tried to, he wasn't sure if it came across on this face. He hadn't thought to practice walking on stairs with his hooves. He walked cautiously, feeling very much like he might feel walking on the tips of his toes as a person. He hoped he wouldn't slip as he went, staring intently at the stairs immediately before him.

He didn't notice that Padfoot was already at the top of the landing. Having let Wormtail off his head, the pair watched as the stag ascended the stairs ever so carefully. Each of them visibly winced at the next howl to echo through the shack.

Finally, Prongs reached the landing, eyeing the door separating the rest of them from Moony.

Padfoot was the first to approach the door. He let out a cautious bark. "Moony?"

There was a pause, then the sound of claws clicking on hardwood. Menacing growls began to sound from the other side of the door.

"Moony?" Wormtail squeaked.

"Moony, it's us," Prongs bleated gently.

The growling simply continued. The door shook on its hinges as Moony scratched violently on the other side.

"So, uh, ready, Prongs?" Padfood whined. Wormtail shuffled to the side, out of the way.

"As I'll ever be, I suppose," Prongs nodded, lowering his antlers and preparing for impact.

Padfoot jumped at the door, using his paw to push down the handle and shove it open. He immediately ducked down as the scruffy wolf inside leaped forward.

Moony missed Padfoot by inches and charged after Prongs. The wolf barked madly, scratching hopelessly as Prongs managed to trap him in his antlers.

_Thank Merlin this went better than it did with Padfoot._

With every ounce of his strength, Prongs pushed the snarling wolf back into the room where Padfoot and Wormtail were already waiting.

Prongs shoved Moony forward and Padfoot jumped on top of him, tackling the wolf to the ground and away from the others.

"Moony! It's us! Moony!" Padfoot barked as he and Moony jumped over each other, clawing and biting. Prongs didn't think they were actually doing any damage to each other but it was hard to tell at the speed they were moving.

Wormtail shoved at the door until it finally closed so that they could keep Moony in the room at least.

Prongs charged at Moony again, Padfoot barely moving out of the way in time. He pinned the struggling wolf between his antlers and the wall. Moony howled that awful howl again.

"Moony!" Prongs bellowed. "Calm the hell down! We're your friends!"

It was several minutes of holding Moony in place before the wolf finally stopped struggling and simply let out a low growl. Prong's neck ached, but he held firm. If there was anything he had from years of Quidditch, it was stamina.

Padfoot approached Moony, tilting his head curiously. He barked, "Moony!"

Moony finally stopped his growling, eyes darting between the dog, rat, and stag.

"Moony?" Wormtail squeaked.

"Moony?" the wolf barked.

"Are you done trying to fight us?" Padfoot barked again, tail wagging. It was the first noise Moony had made that they had been able to recognize as communication.

Moony growled again, suspicious.

"We won't hurt you," Prongs bleated.

"Fine," the wolf barked sadly. Prongs finally backed away, unpinning him from the wall.

"Why do you call me 'Moony?'" Moony growled.

"You really don't know?" Wormtail squeaked, disappointed. Moony simply tilted his head, confused.

"And why is a dog running about with a rat and a stag?" Moony yipped. He approached Prongs, cautiously sniffing him. Prongs' ears twitched as he did so, feeling ticklish.

"We're your friends," Prongs bleated. "You _said_ you wouldn't be yourself."

"I've never met you," Moony growled, backing away slightly, still suspicious.

"We're friends with Remus," Padfoot barked. "We've been planning to come see you for a while, Moony."

"So you wouldn't be all alone," Wormtail added.

"Friends? Friends of mine when I'm Remus?" Moony questioned, the look on his face gave away a racing mind. He approached Padfoot, sniffing him as well before moving on to a nervous-looking Wormtail and doing the same.

"Best friends! We call you Moony, I'm Prongs, and that's Padfoot and Wormtail," Prongs bellowed.

"You all… you all _smell_ familiar," Moony whined. "It reminds me of… something. It's more like a feeling."

"What sort of feeling?" Wormtail squeaked.

"Like… chocolate and laughing and running and smoke and safety and coffee and music and secrets and jokes and promises and…" Moony seemed to consider this for a moment before barking and bouncing about merrily. "And friends!"

"Yes!" Padfoot barked happily, lowering his chest to the ground with wagging tail like a puppy hungry for attention and playtime.

"Friends!" Moony howled, the sound significantly less disturbing this time. He jumped at Padfoot and they tumbled over each other as they had earlier when they fought, but without the malice and entirely for joy.

"I've always wanted friends!" Moony barked, playfully batting at Wormtail as he scurried around their feet, eager to join the game.

"Gets lonely, huh?" bleated Prongs.

"So lonely. So boring. Nothing to hunt. I get so _frustrated_ ," Moony whined.

"Well, now we're here for you, Moony," Wormtail squeaked.

"How long have we been friends?" barked Moony, wagging his tail. "What am I like when I'm Remus? Tell me how we're friends!"

Moony let out another excited howl. If the others could laugh in this state, they would. They hadn't expected him to be so delighted at the notion of friendship.

Prongs frowned slightly, wondering if Remus was as excited the rest of the month that he had company. It seemed like just a given, company, and he suddenly felt as though he had been taking it for granted.

Wormtail was still lurking about Padfoot and Moony's feet. "We all met first year."

"First year of what?" bayed Moony, tilting his head.

"School!" Padfoot barked.

"School!" Moony barked in return. "Tell me about school! Am I good at school when I'm Remus? What's school like?"

"You're great at school, you're even better than one of the professors this year," bleated Prongs.

"You're a prefect and everything. Not as smart as me, of course," Padfoot strolled boastfully, as though he were a show dog.

"Take what he says with a grain of salt," Prongs gestured to Padfoot. Moony still appeared delighted, tail still wagging madly.

They continued their conversation the remainder of the night, filling in Moony on the life of his human counterpart. The wolf didn't once think about biting or clawing or hunting in general as the others relayed stories of their friendship and numerous pranks.

It wasn't until early morning they found themselves exhausted, curling up on the floor in a heap of fur and falling fast asleep.

It was transforming that woke Moony up once he moon was set. He clenched his teeth as they morphed back to their usual shape and urged himself not to cry out as his fingers stretched back to their proper length and his snout shrank back into a nose.

He couldn't help letting out a pained whimper every now and again, hoping the others wouldn't awaken to see him halfway transformed.

His claws thinned out into nails, his ears shrank back into a human shape, the fur covering his skin receded back to it's normal length and thickness.

Finally, sore and still exhausted, Remus Lupin sat on the floor where Moony once lay. He glanced at the others, curled up and breathing steadily. Even as a stag, Prongs snored.

Remus held his arms out before him, examining his old scars. There were no new cuts. He ran his fingers over his face to find the same.

He hadn't done any damage to himself the night before. He hadn't had the chance. Madam Promfrey had no new scrapes and bruises to tend to.

He smiled, though immediately regretted the gesture as his jaw and teeth were still sore from changing shape.

He watched the others again. Wormtail was curled up in the crook of Prongs' neck. Padfoot was on his back, legs spread and twitching, and lips falling open due to gravity. There was a vacant spot between Prongs and Padfoot where Moony had been sleeping.

Remus settled himself there, the floor still warm. Though it hurt, he smiled again.

"Thanks guys," he whispered, folding his arm under his head and shutting his eyes.

Maybe he could get a little more sleep before Madam Promfrey's owl would tap on the window to let him know she was here to collect him.


	6. Discussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! Hope you enjoy this one! If you do, validate my existence by leaving a comment!
> 
> This is another slightly NSFW chapter, again, mostly discussion, nothing you can't handle if this isn't your first M-rated fic.

_He would always buckle down and suddenly become a model student when Remus missed class and needed notes. It was admirable in a way, but also rather annoying._

* * *

**Chapter Six: Discussions**

* * *

Summer still lingered this fine Sunday afternoon, and Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas decided to take advantage, settling under the shade of a large tree near the lake with a pouch of food and all homework left behind in the dorms.

"Did you have to make leashes for them yourself, or do they sell leashes for rats?" Dorcas asked as Emmeline fastened the ends of two leashes to her messenger bag so that her two white rats wouldn't wander far. Bruno and Boris were attached to the leashes with small harnesses and seemed simply delighted to be allowed to run around the grass near the tree.

"They're meant for ferrets," Emmeline explained, "But one of my roommates has a cat so they don't really get to explore my dorm much. I let them run around my bed sometimes because I've got a spell to keep the cat off and them on, but mostly they're cooped up in their cage, so I thought I'd give the leashes a try. They seem to enjoy it."

"Well it's not like they've got a small cage, weren't you saying it's several feet taller than your bed?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, but a change of scenery is nice anyway, hm, Boris?" Emmeline said, petting the rat's head as he walked close to her hand.

"Just as long as a cat doesn't wander over here," Marlene said, helping herself to one of the sandwiches in their bag of food.

"If I were a cat, I'd be looking for a sunny place to take a nap right about now," Dorcas said with a yawn, lying back in the grass and lowering her sunglasses.

"Do you think McGonagall ever turns into a cat and takes naps in weird places?" Emmeline wondered aloud, digging through her bag for the Polaroid camera she liked to play with. "I would."

"I feel like there's dozens of cooler things you could do as a cat, why would you waste your cat abilities taking a nap?" Marlene asked.

"Full-time cats do it," Lily shrugged.

"But you could jump to weirdly high places! And the _claws!"_ Marlene said, curling her fingers to mime having claws.

"But the _naps,"_ Dorcas said, petting Bruno as he climbed atop her stomach and settled himself there. Emmeline snapped a picture of this, finding it adorable. The camera spit out the picture, not yet developed.

"Speaking of McGonagall, I asked if she knew any odd jobs I could do to maybe earn a little money. She suggested I ask Binns, and he's going to give me a few galleons to organize his filing cabinet next weekend," Lily said.

"Does Binns still get paid? What does he do with his money?" Marlene asked, cocking a brow. "I mean… he's a ghost. Ghosts don't have expenses, do they?"

"Maybe he's saving for a ride on the river styx," Emmeline shrugged, shaking her not-yet-visible picture.

"Maybe he has to pay a student to organize his filing cabinet every couple years since he can't do it," said Dorcas.

"I wonder if he has to pay taxes," Emmeline said. "I'm going to look that up later."

She took a pen out of her bag and scrawled " _Do ghosts pay taxes?"_ on her arm.

" _Anyway_ , I'll be well on my way to a sneakoscope. Did I tell you I figured out the model I want to get?" Lily said, shuffling through her bag.

"No, you didn't," Marlene said. Dorcas sat upright again to see what Lily had to show them. The redhead pulled out a magazine ad and held it before her. The ad featured a top of the line, golden sneakoscope, with the tagline, _A long life and peace of mind, for the rational and paranoid alike._

" _Fifty galleons?_ Does it clean your house too?" Dorcas said, jaw dropping.

"For that much you should just get them a guard dog and all its shots. It'd be cuter," Emmeline added. "I wonder if they're jacking up the prices because of the attacks recently. I don't know whether to be disgusted or impressed by that, honestly…"

"You're gonna need to do a lot more than filing to get that," Marlene said, cringing at the price as well.

"Well, the school pays us a bit for tutoring, but that only really picks up around exams," Lily sighed.

"And they don't pay much, mostly it's extra pocket change that's nice when a Hogsmeade visit comes around," Emmeline pointed out, snapping a picture of Marlene and Lily, who made stupid faces in preparation. The photos Emmeline took were never works of art, but she just liked hoarding memories.

"What about a job in Hogsmeade?" Dorcas asked.

"Most places want you to be sixteen, I checked. So that's not an option until January," Lily said. "Some of them don't want you until you're seventeen."

"I mean it's probably a good thing you can't get a part time job that isn't tutoring yet… don't forget, we have exams this year, and prefect duty, too. Don't spread yourself too thin," Emmeline said.

"How much do you have now?" asked Marlene.

"Seven galleons, three sickles, fifteen knuts. It's all my savings after I splurged on those new potions scales," Lily said, leaning back against the trunk of the tree.

"What was wrong with your old scales, anyway?" Emmeline asked.

Lily frowned. "They, um. They weren't as pretty. Merlin, I wish I could tell past-Lily to hold off on the scales."

"Well, I mean, at least you've got _something,"_ Dorcas said, lying back again. "Something is better than nothing. You've got a starting point! And I bet some other professors have errands you could do. I know Professor Sprout will pay a couple sickles if you help her weed the mandrakes… course, that's because even the Herbology Club doesn't want to deal with those weeds."

"Slughorn adores you," Marlene added. "I bet he'd help you out if you offer to help him prep for his classes or something."

"True," Lily nodded.

"If you have time. Again, there's O.W.L.s, prefect duty, homework, actual class, eating, sleeping—" Emmeline said, ticking these things off her fingers as she went, camera and photos resting in the grass beside her for now.

"Why do you have to be such a downer?" Marlene said.

"I'm just saying, I come from a house full of people existing on caffeine because they spread themselves too thin. There's a reason the coffee at the Ravenclaw table is stronger than the others," Emmeline said.

"I'd rather have a few sleepless nights because I'm actively trying to do something to keep my family safe than be up all night worrying because I'm not doing anything," Lily said with a shrug.

"Fair enough, remember, the Ravenclaw coffee is stronger," Emmeline said, raising her hands in defeat before digging through their bag of food for some grapes.

"I really do think you could make a decent amount with the mandrake thing," Dorcas said.

"Oh! I just remembered, did you hear that Rosier got caught giving Peggy Madison head in the green house?" Marlene said.

"Who told you that, Bertha Jorkins?" Lily scoffed.

"Obviously," said Marlene.

"Where are we going to get our gossip after she's gone?" Dorcas said. Bertha was in her seventh year.

"I heard it was the other way around, Peggy was giving Rosier head," Emmeline said.

" _Why_ would you do anything like that in the green house? There's dirt everywhere," Dorcas cringed.

"Apparently they got caught because one of the plants tried to eat them partway through," Emmeline said. "So, she screamed and Professor Sprout came to check…"

"Oh, that's a tad humiliating," Marlene winced.

"No more so than the fact that _everyone_ knows now," Lily frowned.

"Well, I was referring to the fact that apparently a plant made her scream but he didn't. Anyway, Peggy made the mistake of telling Bertha. It's the same way everyone found out that Jane gave Sirius a hand job last year," Marlene said, shaking her head. "I swear you don't tell Bertha anything unless you _want_ the whole school to know."

"That was gross, everyone gave Jane hell for that but Black was practically worshipped," Lily scowled, shaking her head at the memory.

"That's how it goes," Dorcas sighed. "For girls, you're a prude if you're a virgin, but the second you have sex, you're a whore. And boys that have sex are heroes."

"To be fair, Sirius did hex someone that called Jane a slut… everyone kind of laid off after that," Emmeline said. Each of her rats had settled before her the moment she'd pulled out the grapes. She handed one to each of them. Delighted at the sight, she picked up the camera and took a picture of this, too.

"Yeah, but then Jane thought that meant he wanted to get back together, and he didn't," Lily said.

"I was under the impression they weren't together in the first place," Dorcas said.

"Probably not. The whole thing was awful," Lily said.

"Also, again, I have to state that the rumor that started going around that he had an orgy with my house Quidditch team is exceptionally untrue," Dorcas said. She paused. "Unless I wasn't invited for some reason."

"Count your blessings if that's the case," Lily laughed.

"I guess," Dorcas said before hesitantly glancing around for any eavesdroppers and adding, "Er, so I have an awkward, stupid, muggleborn question."

"Shoot," Marlene said, wiping crumbs from her lips.

"So… wizard sex," Dorcas said.

Emmeline snorted. "Wizard sex?"

"Yes, wizard sex," Dorcas repeated. "What do wizards do for protection? Do we just… use the muggle methods?"

"What are the muggle methods?" Marlene asked, the only one in the group without muggle relatives.

"Well, there's a couple things, like birth control pills, or there's condoms, which are latex sleeves you put over the penis," Emmeline said.

"Wait, like a penis glove?" Marlene asked.

"Basically," Lily nodded.

Marlene cocked a brow, "You're fucking with me, right? That's ridiculous."

"No, they really do that," Dorcas laughed.

"Muggles are weird," Marlene said, shaking her head.

"Anyway, I think there's a spell. I meant to look further into it because my mother is a muggle so the talk she gave me was very, well, _muggle._ And my father would rather die than talk to me about it, but I got distracted," Emmeline said.

"There _is_ a spell. My parents went the vague route so once Mallory got into her healing training, she made sure we all knew what was going on when they weren't looking," Marlene said, speaking of her oldest sibling.

"How did that go?" Lily asked.

"Well, she talked to Max, Miles and Michael without me and she said that they were so embarrassed that their _sister_ was discussing it in such a clinical way that they could hardly find it in them to make any jokes," Marlene said. "Also, apparently Max insisted that he didn't need such a lesson but then Mallory asked, 'true or false, if a girl's hymen is broken, she's not a virgin,' and he said, 'true,' and she just laughed at him and said he needed the lesson."

"Wait, that's not how it works?" Lily asked.

"Oh Merlin, Lily, _no,"_ Marlene said, shaking her head. "Your hymen stretches, a lot of times it doesn't break at all, and if it does, lots of not-penis things can make it bleed or break. Mallory said she's pretty sure she broke hers playing Quidditch. Plus, it can heal itself. The state of your hymen really has nothing to do with whether or not it's been in contact with a penis."

"Right, so you don't _have_ to bleed your first time," Emmeline said, though it sounded more like a question.

"Exactly," Marlene said. "It doesn't have to hurt, either. If you're relaxed, and, er, _lubricated_ , and the guy takes it slow so you can get used to it then it should be okay, but Mallory said it might a while to relax and get used to it. _That_ was weird, hearing my sister talk about her first time and have her lecture me about _really caring_ about who I lose it to."

"Well, that's just common sense, isn't it?" said Lily. "Losing your virginity to someone you love?"

"I don't know, I feel like I'd rather get the awkward, uncomfortable part over with beforehand, so when and if I do meet someone that great, well, we can just dive right into it," Marlene shrugged. "Besides, the whole school is calling me a whore anyway, I might as well have some fun and actually do a little of what they think I did?"

"Oh, Marlene, don't let gossip influence you," Lily frowned.

"I'll get back to you guys on my opinion after I've been _kissed,"_ Emmeline sighed, the bitterness clear in her voice. "Or if David Bowie ever suddenly knocks on my door."

"I just think there's too much pressure on the first time you have sex. I want to go in without putting my heart on the line or expecting anything _life changing_ or _beautiful beyond words_. If I go in expecting it to be awkward and uncomfortable, and just being friends with the bloke, I can't be disappointed or heartbroken after," Marlene explained.

"I guess… but I don't know. I can't imagine being so _vulnerable_ with someone I don't love," Lily shrugged.

"And that's great for you, don't let me change your mind," Marlene nodded. "I just… I don't want it to be a huge thing."

"Is that a euphemism?" Dorcas snickered.

"No, no, not necessarily," Marlene grinned. "I just… I just want it to be like when Sirius and I flirt, you know? His heart's not really in it. My heart's not really in it. We're just fooling around and having a good time. That's what I like about him, he doesn't _expect_ anything romantic out of me. We can just joke around."

"So you don't fancy him?" Emmeline asked.

"Nah, not at all," Marlene shook her head.

"Hmm," Emmeline said.

"He's just fun to flirt with, he's got a good sense of humor."

"If you say so," Lily said.

"Oh, come now, Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus can certainly be funny sometimes," Dorcas said.

" _The Marauders,"_ Emmeline said mockingly with a giggle.

"Do they really expect people to call them that?" Marlene asked.

"Dumbledore is," Lily said with a roll of the eye.

"Of course he is," Dorcas laughed. "But can we back up a bit? The spell."

"Right, yes, the spell!" Marlene said.

"Is it good for infection, too, or just pregnancy?" Dorcas asked.

"Both, and you can use the same spell regardless of what you've got going on between your legs," Marlene nodded. "I can show you guys."

"Is it difficult?" Lily asked.

"No, not really," Marlene said, taking out her wand and pointing it at Emmeline, who somehow became her test subject. "It's just an upward motion, followed by like, a sideways figure-eight and then, _pubis clypeus!"_

Emmeline flinched slightly. Marlene grinned. "You know it works because you'll feel a little pressure for a second. But now you're safe from pregnancy or infection for the next couple hours, Em, congrats."

"I'll alert my many suitors," Emmeline said sarcastically.

" _Pubis Clypeus,"_ Lily mumbled.

"I can't imagine a teenage boy saying that without giggling," Dorcas said.

"If that happens, don't have sex with him," Marlene said.

"Because if you can't handle saying _pubis_ you probably can't handle having sex?" Lily asked.

"Well, that too," Marlene said. "But Mallory said that the spell only works as well as you cast it. If you aren't focused, or if you're giggling or stuttering, it won't be as strong and will wear off quicker."

"So, it's like condoms in the sense that if it didn't work, it was probably user error," Emmeline said.

"I'm still not entirely convinced you're not making that up," Marlene said. "And how do you mess up putting a glove-thing on your penis?"

"Sometimes they break," Dorcas said. "Pretty sure that's why I have a little brother."

"Hm, well, I'll be sticking with magic, I think," Marlene said.

* * *

Remus always had the same cot in the hospital wing: the last one in the far corner with the privacy curtains drawn. It made him feel better to know that most people that stopped by would be none the wiser that he was there at all, drawing less suspicion that he otherwise might after insisting that he had left school to visit his mother.

Most people. Not all people. Remus was interrupted in his pursuit to finish his charms essay as three shadows appeared on the other side of the curtain.

"Psst, Moony!" came James' voice.

"You decent?" Peter added.

"Yeah," Remus said, blowing lightly on his parchment to dry the ink before sliding his essay in his charms book and setting it aside. His friends shuffled three chairs inside the privacy curtain.

"How're you doing?" James asked as they sat down. Remus looked rough, as though he hadn't slept in days, and he was propped upright with several pillows, unable to really sit up on his own without exhausting himself.

"Not as bad as usual, honestly," Remus forced a smile. No new wounds meant he only had to deal with the aches of his bones and skin from the transformation, rather than having to worry about changing bandages and whether or not his latest self-inflected wound would scar.

"We brought you some chocolate," Sirius said, shuffling through his bag for the bars in question. For some reason, it was all that Remus craved after the full moon, and Madam Promfrey was not keen on giving it to him, insisting he needed something healthier to recover.

"Bless you," Remus said, taking one and eagerly unwrapping it. Or, as eagerly as he could when his fingers were still sore.

"We didn't really get to talk to you before you came back here," Peter said. That morning they had all awaken with a start when an owl tapped the window of the Shrieking Shack. Wormtail, Prongs and Padfoot had found an exhausted Remus Lupin lying where Moony had fallen asleep.

Remus objected as Prongs turned back into James, reminding him that they couldn't get caught here. James told him to shut up, he was going to help him back through the tunnel, and slung Remus' arm over his shoulder.

Padfoot and Wormtail had remained the same, cautiously leading the way down the stairs, through the opening into the tunnel, and through said tunnel until they were near the end.

Remus let go of James' shoulder and the other boy gave him an encouraging smile before transforming back into Prongs. Remus carefully approached the exit, reaching a trembling hand outside to tap the knot and stop the violent branches. When he climbed through and met Madam Promfrey, she was none the wiser that a stag, a dog, and a rat were lying in wait and had escorted Remus back.

"Talking in general is kind of hard that soon after transforming, my jaw always hurts," Remus said. His jaw _still_ hurt.

"Well," James said, "I think last night went pretty well, honestly."

"I must have been so annoying, I'm sorry," Remus said, burying his head in his hands as he recalled bouncing around the shack in excitement over having friends.

"I like excited puppy Moony," Sirius grinned.

"It's much more preferable than ' _I'm going to eat you'_ Moony," Peter nodded.

"Do you think next time you transform, you'll remember us?" James asked.

"I think so. When I transform, I remember all the other times I transformed, I just… I don't have my human mind," Remus said. He paused, looking at the others hopefully. "But… so… there'll be a next time, then?"

"Absolutely!" Sirius said. "Did you think we'd chicken out because you nipped at us a few times?"

"I just—I know it's a lot, and you were out there _all night,"_ Remus said.

"And we'll be out there the next full moon, _all night_ ," James said. "Besides, after you left, it was still early so we decided to explore the grounds a little, and look what we've got."

James handed Remus a few folded pieces of parchment. When Remus unfolded them, he found a roughly drawn diagram of the portion of the grounds surrounding the Whomping Willow, with several lines and measurements written in for future reference.

Another piece of parchment had a slightly nicer depiction of the same area, with "TEST" written in James' scrawl at the top. A small dot labeled "Rubeus Hagrid" was walking around the drawing labeled as Hagrid's hut.

"For the map?" Remus said, referring to their ongoing project. "I thought we were just focusing on inside the castle."

"We were, but being able to roam the grounds as animals is giving us quite literally an entirely new perspective," Sirius said. "I think we _have_ to add the grounds, now."

"Hagrid didn't notice you measuring his hut?" Remus asked.

"Well, we sent Peter to do that," James said.

"Again, you all made fun of me for turning into a tiny animal," Peter said, smug.

"Yes, yes, you've proven quite useful, short stuff," Sirius said, ruffling Peter's hair.

"I think I'm gonna take my broom out later to try and get an aerial view of everything that we need to map out," James said. "And maybe get some nicer sketches started after I finish McGonagall's assignment."

"This map is going to make us impossible to catch, it'll be _brilliant,"_ Sirius said. They had already used several smaller maps they'd made of certain parts of the castle to narrowly avoid detention (and Filch) the previous year.

"And it'll help for the full moon, too," Peter pointed out.

"My only concern is that if we do get it to work the way we want, and if we do get it as detailed as we want, and then we get _caught_ with it, not only will it show how we got away with so much, but we'll have to explain the inclusion of the secret passageways, the details of restricted parts of the school…" Remus said.

"That's a fair point," Sirius nodded, frowning.

"We'll have to add some security measures," James said. "I was looking through that _Old Masters' Art and Spells_ book you got me last term and there was a bit in there about this poet that would send his boyfriend love letters that could only be revealed when he said a certain phrase and tapped the parchment with his wand."

"Did it say which spell it was?" Remus asked.

"I think so, but it didn't explain how to do it. I'll check it out later," James nodded.

"Let me know when you go flying," Sirius said. "I could go for a ride, I think."

"Oh, me too!" Peter said excitedly.

"All right. We should probably go while the light's good. Do you need us to get you anything, Moony?" James asked.

Remus shook his head. "Just the notes from tomorrow's lectures. I don't think Promfrey will let me out before tomorrow night."

"Do you really want notes from MacPherson's class?" Sirius asked.

"I could use a laugh," Remus snorted. "If there's any perk to Lycanthropy, it's missing that wanker's class."

* * *

Monday morning had a habit of rolling in much earlier than anyone wanted. It always came exactly on schedule and yet somehow was always a surprise when it was time to climb out of bed and trudge downstairs to breakfast and class.

James had dragged Sirius and Peter to class earlier than usual. He would always buckle down and suddenly become a model student when Remus missed class and needed notes. It was admirable in a way, but also rather annoying. Sirius carried a mug of coffee and a doughnut with him as he had still been eating when James insisted they go.

"I don't think MacPherson is going to allow food in class," Peter said to Sirius as James carefully set up his parchment, quill, and ink.

"I cast an anti-spilling charm on the coffee," Sirius said. "And MacPherson can suck my—"

"He's just outside, going to be walking in any second, Black, I'd suggest you not finish that sentence," Lily said as she, Marlene and Emmeline took their seats in the row before the boys.

Sirius glanced toward the door of the classroom to find MacPherson talking with McGonagall. Neither seemed pleased about this fact. After McGonagall initially spoke with MacPherson about his comments about Marlene's eyeshadow, MacPherson had told his classes that he didn't appreciate his students spreading lies and slander to his colleagues.

This only encouraged the students to tell their heads of house more and more about MacPherson, some accounts exaggerated, but most not so much.

He had been stopped in the halls by McGonagall, Slughorn, Sprout, and Flitwick all month.

MacPherson stepped away from McGonagall and stomped into his classroom, clearly in a sour mood. McGonagall offered a smile to the students glancing her way and mouthed, "Good luck," before walking off to her own classroom.

While MacPherson's back was turned, Sirius slipped out his wand, tapped his coffee mug and mumbled, _"Rojo."_

"What're you doing?" James whispered.

"You'll see," Sirius said, putting his wand away before stuffing the last remaining piece of his doughnut into his mouth.

MacPherson tapped his blackboard with his wand. Lecture notes appeared on it for no more than a few seconds before fading away. MacPherson sighed and tapped the blackboard harder this time, leaving several students wincing and wondering how on earth he hadn't shattered the wand.

The lecture notes appeared again, but this time with several letters obviously missing from a few words. Another aggressive _whack_ brought the missing letters to the surface and left MacPherson mumbling under his breath.

James and Sirius exchanged knowing grins, pleased that MacPherson had been unable to successfully undo the curse Sirius had put on the blackboard a few weeks back. They were sure if he just asked Professor Flitwick, it would be fixed in an instant.

But that would, of course, require admitting that he had perhaps done something wrong in his own attempt.

The bell rang and with a flick of his wrist, MacPherson shut and locked the classroom door. Why he continued to do this was unknown to the students, as every time someone was late, instead of quietly slipping in, they had to knock and interrupt the lecture.

Not that most really minded an interruption to said lecture, but MacPherson clearly did.

"Today, class, we will be going over how to _identify_ dark arts and—Mr. Black, are you drinking coffee in my classroom?" MacPherson said as Sirius set the mug to his lips.

Sirius moved the mug, allowing some of his coffee, charmed to be a dark, deep red, drip past his lips. He licked it away and shook his head. "No Sir, no coffee here."

MacPherson eyed the boy suspiciously and stepped to the side, further away from him. "Put the mug away, Black."

"One second, I never feel quite _alive_ if I don't finish," Sirius said, downing the rest of the coffee. He wiped red liquid from his chin before setting the mug away, offering a red-stained smile.

James and Peter looked deliberately downward at the desk, doing their best not to visibly snicker. Sirius had been trying to convince MacPherson that he was actually summoning demons since he first had detention with the man.

Making a show out of evidently drinking "blood?" It was a nice touch. Any other professor would have called the bluff, but MacPherson… well, he seemed cautious.

"As we all know, the dark magic is any magic meant to cause harm to the victim of the spell… oh what's that, Mr. Lupin?" MacPherson said, gesturing to Remus' empty seat. "Don't have anything to add today? Ah, well, that's new for you. Let's move along."

Students throughout the classroom exchanged puzzled looks at this. Peter leaned over to James and whispered, "Was that a joke?"

"I think it was supposed to be," James mumbled back. MacPherson seemed to be waiting for a laugh, and when he didn't get one, continued his lecture.

"Being inherently evil, there have been laws against the dark arts as long as dark arts have been around—oh Mr. Lupin? Still no comment? No critique? Oh, I do think I like the new and improved you, Mr. Lupin," MacPherson said, smiling in the direction of Remus' vacant seat once more.

James and Sirius exchanged unamused glances.

Gerald Jackson's hand shot in the air, a frown fixed to his face.

"Yes, Mr. Jackson?" MacPherson said, sounding bored.

"Actually, Professor, dark arts _aren't_ inherently evil," Gerald said matter-of-factly.

"They're called the _dark arts_ , Mr. Jackson," MacPherson said, arms crossed before his chest.

"Yes, but with the definition of 'intending to do harm,' well, that encompasses jinxes and hexes which can be overall annoying but not necessarily evil," Gerald said.

"Also, aren't most spells entirely legal? Just the unforgivable curses are outlawed," Lisa Stein from Ravenclaw added, her hand raised but having not waited for MacPherson to call on her before speaking.

"Aurors often use what might be considered dark magic, magic that can do harm, to defend themselves and track down dark wizards, which, in itself, doesn't really seem evil," Lily added.

"How would one define 'evil' if claiming that dark arts are inherently evil?" Emmeline asked.

"Is evil simply anything that isn't good or are we speaking of the complete lack of morals?" Gerald added.

"Is anything truly completely evil if we go with the second definition?" said Emmeline.

"Amazing, the Ravenclaws and Evans are stepping in as substitute know-it-alls, it's kind of beautiful," Sirius said softly.

"It really is, I'm inspired," James mumbled before raising his hand. Like the others, he didn't wait for MacPherson to acknowledge him before speaking. "Sir, what about spells that are not intended to do harm, but misuse of said spell could be used to cause harm? Is that spell then a dark spell or is the wizard simply a dark wizard? How much harm do you have to do before you're a dark wizard?"

"Oh, good point, Potter. Take for example, I use a spell on my tea kettle to boil my tea, but if I were to say, use it on someone's bath, would a spell intended for my tea then be dark magic?" said another Ravenclaw, Billy Stebbins.

"Would the tea be evil tea?" Peter asked, raising his hand.

"Of course not, Pete, _the bath water_ would be evil, pay attention," Sirius said.

"But the spell for the tea is what made the bath water evil, so couldn't the tea potentially be evil as well?" Marlene asked with a grin.

"That's what we're _debating,"_ James said.

"SILENCE," MacPherson shouted. The class begrudgingly stopped talking. "Fifty points from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for speaking out of term. If any of you have actual questions rather than philosophical tangents and jokes, you may _raise your hand-_ WHAT IS IT, BLACK?"

Sirius set his hand down. "I only had a question. You said to raise our hands."

MacPherson sighed heavily. "What is your question?"

"So, are you just acting as a substitute while Professor Lupin is out?" Sirius asked. Snickers could be heard through the classroom.

"Get out of my classroom, Black! Ten points from Gryffindor and detention tonight! Get out!" MacPherson said through clenched teeth, pointing at the door.

Sirius mockingly saluted MacPherson before gathering his things. "Looks like notes are your responsibility this class, Prongs," he mumbled, clapping James on the back as he left. James had figured as much before they had even arrived to the class.

"Now, can I continue my lecture or would any of the rest of you like to join Mr. Black in detention?"


	7. Friendly Neighborhood Remus Lupin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, another week, another update for this story! If you enjoy yourself, please comment!

" _What? No! I really—I mean—the storylines—they've always sounded interesting and— is it that obvious?"_

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Friendly Neighborhood Remus Lupin**

* * *

Remus was back to class after receiving a dramatic reenactment from the others of what happened while he was gone. Somehow he doubted that MacPherson had fainted at the sight of Sirius apparently drinking blood, but the reenactment was funny all the same.

Honestly, it was one of his favorite parts of coming back to class, the reenactments. The humor also helped soften the blow of the knowledge that one of his professors was mocking him while he was out "sick."

Remus tried not to dwell on it, though it was difficult. He'd never had a professor dislike him before. He was generally quiet in class, he got good grades, and he usually managed to complete his work on time even during the full moon. He wouldn't say all his other professors adored him or anything but they were fond enough of him.

But then again, all his other professors were, well… competent.

Still, it was new territory. Sirius and James territory. Remus was beginning to worry about his grade.

Hoping to get his mind off of it, he had taken a seat at one of the tables in the common room with the others and pulled out his potions essay. James was also making an attempt to work on the assignment, his handwriting noticeably large on his parchment to reach the length requirement sooner.

To their left was Sirius, who was avoiding his potions essay entirely by playing chess with Alice, who was avoiding her herbology assignment. Peter sat with his arms rested on the table and his chin resting in his arms, watching the game with great interest while _also_ avoiding the potions essay.

"You know what bugs me about Slughorn?" James said, flipping lazily through his potions textbook.

"His blatant favoritism?" Remus said.

"The way his knee pops sometimes when he walks by?" Peter cringed slightly.

"The fact that he won't buy waistcoats that fit him _or_ magic the ones he's got bigger?" said Alice. "I mean, come on, Sluggy, no one can see the size on the tag and it just looks so uncomfortable."

"The fact that he's constantly mixing me up with my brother?" Sirius added. "Also, Bishop to C-7."

"I mean, all of that is valid, but, no," James said, shaking his head. "It's that even after the past four years of me not giving a single fuck about his class, he still _really wants me_ to be some master potioneer like my dad."

"Which is weird, because usually he'd just move right along to someone that _did_ give a fuck," Alice said. "Knight to C-7."

Sirius swore softly as he watched Alice's knight demolish his bishop.

(There was probably a dirty joke to be made there, but Sirius was too distraught over the loss to think of it.)

"Well, James _could_ be really good at potions if he felt like it," Peter said.

"You do always get an E in his class even though you don't try. It's really annoying, actually," Remus said.

James was like that with a lot of subjects. Sirius, too. Remus swore that any time Sirius and James bothered to study with him and Peter, they were simply humoring the other two boys. Remus had better grades than they did, but he would be lying to say he wasn't at least somewhat annoyed by the fact that James and Sirius weren't too far behind while putting in half the work.

It was why Remus enjoyed watching them try to become animagi and it was why he enjoyed working on the map with them. It was why he enjoyed watching James draw and play Quidditch and why he still listened to Sirius talk about punk rock or motorcycles even though he had no idea what he was talking about half the time.

When Sirius and James were really interested in something, when they _really tried,_ it was a beautiful thing to witness. They were unstoppable. Failure only encouraged them to do better, every setback was a personal challenge.

If only they were like that with more of their _actual classes_.

"If I can get an E without trying, why should I work my arse off just to get an O? Potions is just… every time my dad would start talking about it, I would try to listen, really, but I could feel my brain falling asleep," James said, yawning at the thought.

"Why do you think I'm playing chess with Alice instead of writing _my_ essay?" Sirius said, yawning as well, having been looking at James when he had yawned.

"I don't have a problem with potions. It stresses me out a little, but I don't have an issue with the class. Now, herbology, I can't deal with. I swear, you have to be some freakish level of gifted for that bleeding class. Half the time I'm killing a plant by looking at it wrong and the other half of the time, the plant is trying to kill _me_ for looking at it wrong," Alice said, sighing in frustration at the thought.

"You're in sixth year," Sirius said. "Why don't you drop it? Rook to B-5."

"To have the number of NEWTs I need for auror training, I could have dropped herbology _or_ history of magic, but not both. And I at least never fell asleep in herbology," Alice said.

"Fair enough," Remus nodded.

"Also, Knight to B-5, check," Alice said.

"Queen to B-5, fuck you," Sirius taunted as the pieces demolished each other.

"You're joking, right? Pawn to B-5," Alice snickered.

"No! My lady!" Sirius cried out dramatically as the small pawn took down his queen. _"Fuck,_ um. Let's see. You other rook, B-4."

"Queen to G-3, check."

"King to C-2."

"Queen to E-3."

"Knight to G-5."

"Remus, Alice, I've been looking for you both!" came Frank Longbottom's voice as he approached. Remus glanced up from his essay, which no progress had been made on, and Alice noticeably stiffened as Frank settled into the empty seat beside her.

"What's going on?" Remus asked.

"I have to talk to you both about the tutoring schedule," Frank said. Remus paled. Was he in trouble for cancelling his tutoring sessions last Friday? He hadn't made the connection that the date was so close to the full moon until that Wednesday.

"Y-Yeah?" Remus forced out.

"Well, the three of us, that is, me, you, and Alice," Frank said, seeming intent on looking at Remus rather than Alice if he could help it as he tugged at his collar nervously. "We've all got huge waiting lists for defense against the dark arts tutoring. I mean, really huge. We'll never get to all of them this semester."

Remus' shoulders visibly relaxed when it became clear that this had nothing to do with the moon, but his brow quirked at the news. "Really? We never get a lot of sign-ups until exams."

"Well, no one seems to trust MacPherson to teach them anything," Frank said. "And, er, I guess word's gotten out about each of our… _disagreements_ with him."

"That, um, that is one way to put it, I suppose," Alice mumbled.

It did make Remus feel a bit better that Alice and Frank were also very much disliked by MacPherson for pointing out errors in his lecture.

"So, um, what do we do about the waiting list?" Remus asked.

"Oh, we're not adding more dates are we?" Alice cringed, avoiding Frank's gaze. "I'm, er, well, I'm _already_ tutoring three times a week..."

"No, no, I was thinking, instead of doing individual tutoring sessions, each of us can host maybe two study groups," Frank suggested. "Remus could host one for the first years and then fold the fourth and fifth years together for one, Alice could take the second and sixth years, and I'll have the third and seventh years… if either of you are up to it."

Alice nodded enthusiastically, "Y-Yes, I think that would work."

"Yeah, that sounds fine, I'd just have to find out what he's trying to teach the first years," Remus said.

"Professor Lupin lives!" Sirius cheered.

"It's just a study group," Remus sighed.

"Hang on, doesn't that Snape kid tutor for defense against the dark arts, too?" Alice asked.

"Yes, he had a waiting list too, but it was mostly Slytherins. I spoke to him earlier, he intends to host study groups on his own in their dormitory," Frank said with a shrug.

"Sounds fun," James snorted.

"I don't know how much _defense_ they'll go over," Peter added.

"Yeah, he's gonna use it as an opportunity to show off all the curses he's invented," Sirius said with a roll of the eye.

"Well, all the more reason for us to set up these study groups," Frank said with a nod. "I'll talk to Dumbledore and Pince about getting them set up, we'll probably have to book some empty classrooms or something so there's room."

" _Professor Lupin,"_ Sirius whispered dramatically.

"Oh, and James," Frank said as he stood from his seat, "McGonagall put you on the list of students she recommends to tutor transfiguration again. Are you _sure_ you don't want to?"

"I've got Quidditch, mate," James said, shaking his head.

"And messing up his hair, that takes a lot of time," Sirius said, ruffling his own hair.

"There's also giving himself pep talks in the mirror," Remus added.

"And 'accidentally' running in to Evans on her way to Transfiguration when she's coming from Divination and he's coming from muggle studies and it's completely out of his way," Peter said.

"There's also cleaning his glasses since they get dirty every two minutes," Sirius said.

"Drawing hilarious but very rude drawings of Snape," Remus said.

"But yeah, I mean, mostly Quidditch," Peter nodded.

"I hate all of you," James mumbled.

"You get five sickles per student you tutor," Frank said in a sing-song voice hoping to tempt James.

"Ooh, _five whole sickles?_ " Sirius said in mock-amazement.

"It adds up, especially around exams," Alice shrugged.

"You'd have to tutor, what, three and a half students for a galleon?" Sirius said.

"I don't think there's any half-students here," Peter smiled.

"First years are probably a half," Sirius nodded.

"I'm captain this year is all," James said, answering Frank seriously. "And it's not as though I need the money, I'm sure someone else with more time for it will do it."

"Okay, I just wanted to check again," Frank sighed. "And we'd better win the cup this year."

"I'm feeling good about it, our new teammates are pretty great," James nodded.

"Yeah, well, Emma Vanity is our head girl and she's been assuring me that Slytherin will demolish us so _please_ wipe that smirk off her face," Frank said, shaking his head at the thought.

"I take great pride in wiping the smirk of dear Emma's face," James grinned.

"Quidditch Captain _and_ Head Girl. She must not sleep, eh?" Alice mumbled.

"And you're over here like, 'Oh, I can't tutor! Quidditch!'" Remus smiled.

"She's spreading herself too thin, I'm focused on Quidditch and the fact that she's trying to be head girl at the same time is just gonna work in our favor," James said confidently. "And with my behavior the way it is, I can guarantee that I will never be in the same position as her, it's brilliant."

"Oh, so _that's_ why you've gotten so many detentions," Frank said with a roll of the eye.

"To keep from being appointed prefect or head boy! It was all time management!" Sirius said, pretending to marvel at the brilliance of this strategy.

"Because, of course, detentions don't take time away from Quidditch," Remus nodded.

"You know what? Don't question my methods, just be at the first game and _be amazed,"_ James said, running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, okay," Frank smiled.

"Oh, and Frank, before you go," Sirius said, digging through his school bag and pulling out an envelope. "Sign this."

"What is it?" Frank asked, taking the envelope and pulling out a card. The front had an illustration of a cat wearing a witch's hat.

"A card for McGonagall, it's her birthday next week," Peter said.

" _Or did you forget?"_ James said scandalously.

"Is it actually a birthday card or are you having me sign some kind of confession for one of your pranks?" Frank asked, opening the card to find a number of other signatures already present.

"It's actually a birthday card, but that's a fine idea," Sirius said. "Pete, write that one down."

"If it was a joke would we have made dear Alice sign it?" James said, leaning over to point out Alice's signature.

"If it's a joke, we'll _all_ at least go down for it," Alice shrugged.

"I'm sure that you and Frank would like to _go down_ some other—MOTHERFU—" Sirius cringed as Alice swiftly kicked him beneath the table. She and Frank both burned red.

"Er, anyone have a quill I can borrow?" Frank mumbled.

"Here," Alice said, not looking him in the eye as she handed him hers. He hastily signed the card before handing it back to Sirius.

"I'll um… I'll see you around, then. I'm, well, I'll be off to talk to Dumbledore now," Frank stuttered before turning his heel to walk away. He stumbled slightly over his own feet, but recovered well enough to get out of the common room in haste.

Alice watched him go with a sigh.

"Honestly, though, does he… hate me, or something?" Alice asked, pouting.

"No, he thinks you're great, really," James said with a reassuring smile.

"That's nice of you to say… I just don't know," Alice said. She glanced back to the chessboard. "Rook to D-2, checkmate."

Sirius swore as his king lowered his sword in surrender (again, there was sure to be a joke to be made here) and Peter nudged him with his elbow. "C'mon, mate, move. I called winner."

* * *

Lily had quickly found nightly patrols to be the worst part of being a prefect. Marlene snickered from her bed each time Lily pulled her robe and badge back on and dragged her feet back to the castle corridors to patrol, sending her off with a sing-song, _"have fuuuun!"_

Lily _could_ be getting ahead on her homework right now. She _could_ be meeting up with Dorcas to work on that new routine the Hufflepuff had been putting together. She _could_ be _sleeping_.

But instead she was out of bed in order to make sure _other_ students weren't out of bed.

She was beginning to wonder why that was even a problem in the first place.

Lily had yet to actually catch a student out of bed past curfew, and part of her wished that would change, just to make the evening a little more exciting. It was just too quiet, and she was growing weary of mentally making a list of every bit of homework she had to complete this week, or calculating how many odd jobs she'd probably have to do to earn enough gold for a sneakoscope.

It did nothing short of stress her out.

The sound of voices and footsteps around the corner caught her ear and she perked up slightly, her prayers answered. She strained to listen and took soft footsteps forward.

She heard a girl's voice. "My problem is that I kind of needed a break from Peter Parker having the saddest life ever and decided to change things up by reading Iron Man instead."

Then she heard a boy's voice respond. "I haven't read a lot of Iron Man, just enough to understand what's going on when he shows up in the same comic as Spider-Man. How did that work out?"

She recognized the voices. Running her fingers through her hair a few times first, she peeked around the corner to find Emmeline and Remus walking together, prefect badges pinned to their robes. Remus had a few comic issues in one hand and looked sleepy, but in such a strangely cozy and inviting way, like he ought to be curled up next to a fire with someone.

"It didn't work out at all!" Emmeline said with a groan. Remus smiled slightly. "Imagine Peter Parker, but with an even _more_ tragic love life _and_ a drinking problem."

"On man, how is Tony Stark still alive?" Remus commented. Lily approached the two, smile fixed to her face.

"Comic sales, I imagine. And no one is ever _really_ dead in comics. They're like soap operas," Emmeline said, catching Lily's eye and offering her a wave.

"Unless you're Uncle Ben. Or Gwen," Remus pointed out.

Emmeline groaned again. "I just want Peter Parker's life to not make me want to tear my heart out."

"Hello, Lily," Remus said as Lily fell into place beside them.

"Hello," Lily replied. "Emmeline getting emotional over comic books again?"

"Always," Emmeline sighed.

"Er, you know," Lily said, rocking on her heels a bit. "I've, um. I've actually been meaning to try and look into comic books."

"Yeah?" Remus asked, seeming delighted at the idea.

"Yeah, I mean, I've seen a bit of the Spider-Man cartoon," Lily shrugged sheepishly.

"Oh, the comics are definitely better than the cartoon," Emmeline said. "But the cartoon theme song _is_ pretty great."

" _Spider-Man, Spider-Man!"_ Remus sang.

" _Does whatever a spider can,"_ Lily added, using more of a sing-song tone of voice rather than outright singing. She knew that her singing voice was not all that great.

" _Spins a web, any size!"_ sang Emmeline, hardly trying and still somehow her choir training was showing.

" _Catches thieves just like flies,"_ Remus sang.

" _Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man!"_ they all finished with a flourish and a laugh.

"It's nice talking to people that have television at home, it still baffles James, Sirius, and Peter," Remus commented. "That and a lot of people don't want to talk about it recently with all the anti-muggle sentiment."

"We accidentally got Marlene hooked on Spanish soap operas last summer," Emmeline said.

"Dorcas' dad installed a satellite and then we found the channel completely by accident. By the end of the weekend she was yelling at Lucas for cheating on Sofia the night before their wedding," Lily laughed at the memory.

"Marlene can speak Spanish, then?" Remus asked.

"No! Not at all! She just picked up on what was happening based on context clues, I guess," Emmeline shrugged. "Although now she'll call someone a ' _cabrón_ ' occasionally."

"I can't watch anything with the guys, they ask a million questions about how it works and I miss half of whatever was on. I've actually started making things up because hell if I know exactly how television works," Remus said, shaking his head a bit.

"Marlene gets that way with phones, we've yet to convince her that shouting through the receiver is unnecessary," Lily said.

" _But they're all the way across town, how will they hear me otherwise?"_ Emmeline mocked their friend with a smile. The smile quickly slipped from her face however and her eyes darted downward. "Shit."

Remus and Lily turned to see what had caused such a reaction and found what was perhaps the oldest cat in existence. Mr. Bertram belonged to Filch and might have been another color at one point but was now several shades of grey. His breathing was often strained and even the biggest of cat people among the student body couldn't get the cat to offer a gesture kinder than an annoyed hiss.

Being caught by him was just as awful as being caught by Filch, because despite his age, Mr. Bertram would always find his master quickly and bring him to any rule breaker.

The cat let out a hoarse meow before scurrying off down the corridor.

"We're not even doing anything wrong, why's he off to get Filch?" Emmeline pouted.

"Well, they did tell us we're not supposed to use patrol to socialize," Remus pointed out.

Lily winced. "Right, we're not exactly covering a lot of ground by standing here and discussing television in a group."

"We'd best split up before Filch shows up and tries to give us detention for shirking our responsibilities," Remus said, starting to walk off. He turned and called back over his shoulder, "Remind me later, Lily, and I'll loan you a few comics. I've got some early Spider-Man in my trunk somewhere."

"Sounds good!" Lily said with a grin, offering him a wave as he retreated. He had barely turned the corner when Emmeline took Lily by the arm and started dragging her off in the opposite direction. They didn't go far before the Ravenclaw ducked into an empty classroom, bringing the redhead along with her.

"So, what was that all about?" Emmeline asked before Lily could ask why they were there.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, forcing an innocent smile.

Emmeline dreamily twirled a lock of her hair around her finger, _"I've actually been meaning to get into comic books, Remus!"_

"I did not sound like that," Lily said, blushing.

"You never cared about comics when I brought them up before, but now Remus is into them and suddenly you're intrigued?" Emmeline asked, cocking a brow. "If I didn't know any better, Lily, I'd say you _fancied_ our dear friend Remus."

"What? No! I really—I mean—the storylines—they've always sounded interesting and— is it that obvious?" Lily said, face burning a deeper shade of red with each passing moment.

Emmeline giggled. "I mean I started thinking you might like him after MacPherson picked on him the first day and you were _so concerned,_ and the fact that he's the only one in his group of friends you don't complain about… and now comics?"

"He's just… he's so smart, and he's really funny but he doesn't go about it in an over-the-top class clown sort of way, he's got more of a subtle, sarcastic sort of humor, and he's so polite and he's _really cute,"_ Lily said, giving in to giggles as well.

"He does have pretty eyes," Emmeline nodded.

"And really nice hair, and he's so _tall_ ," Lily sighed.

"You know you don't have to pretend to like Spider-Man to get him to talk to you, he talks to James, Sirius, and Peter all the time and I doubt they know the difference between Marvel and DC," Emmeline pointed out.

"I don't want a relationship with him like he's got with Peter and Potter and Black," Lily sighed. "Besides, giving comic books a shot is not the worst thing I could be doing to get a cute boy to notice me."

"That's true," Emmeline shrugged.

"This way I've got an excuse to talk to him one-on-one a bit," Lily said.

"Or you could just… talk to him?" Emmeline suggested.

"I don't know what to say! It'll give me a topic, at least, and a muggle one, too, so it'll be harder for Potter to show up and butt in," Lily said.

"Well, don't hog my comic book buddy all to yourself, you know how long it took me to find one in this school?" Emmeline said, nudging her shoulder playfully into Lily's.

"I'm sure I'll never get quite as invested as you are, no worries," Lily smiled.

"Don't be so sure, I started off thinking I'd just read an arc or two and now look at my life," Emmeline sighed. "But, okay, so you borrow some comics from him and read them and talk to him about them and then what?"

"Then I hopefully get a feel for whether he might like me, too… and then the plan is to ask him out," Lily said, her blush never vacating her face.

"I'm sure he'll go out with you, boys like you," Emmeline shrugged with a heavy sigh.

"Oh, who, Potter?" Lily snorted. She pulled Emmeline into a gentle hug. "Boys like you too, I'm sure of it, Em."

"Remus is the only one I can really talk to, and Gerald, but that's mostly about school. The rest of them, well, I'm not sure they realize I'm there," Emmeline said. "You've never had a problem being noticed or talking to anyone, everyone's always just liked you. I wish I could be like that but I have to give myself a pep talk for like five minutes to talk to someone I kind of know, never mind a stranger."

"People did not always like me. You should have seen me in primary school. I hadn't grown into my ears yet and everyone made fun of me mercilessly for being a ginger. Not to mention the weird things that would always happen around me, they called me a jinx," Lily sighed. "Severus was the only one that didn't treat me like a freak."

"We should have gone to the same primary school. You could have been the Ginger Jinx and I would have been the Invisible Girl and we both probably would have cried an awful lot less," Emmeline said, forcing a smile.

"Well, we've got each other now," Lily said. "And so you're shy, that's not so bad. You're more than capable of talking to people, you _know_ that. You were just talking to Remus about comic books and now you're talking to me, aren't you?"

"I _know_ you two," Emmeline pointed out.

"What's the worst that could happen, hm? If you go up to a new boy and say 'hello?'" Lily asked.

"I could forget how words work and just make sad dinosaur noises at him and burst into tears," said Emmeline.

"Sad dinosaur noises?" Lily repeated.

"Aaahhh-raaaaaah-aaaaaaaaaah-gaaaaah," Emmeline whined, curling her fingers like claws. Lily couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Well, um, are you sure that would be your first instinct?" Lily asked, still catching her breath.

"I don't think my brain would work anymore at that point," Emmeline pouted.

"Look, when I first met you, you hardly said a word until you warmed up to me and the other girls a bit more, and now you're comfortable talking around us, right?" asked Lily.

"Yeah," Emmeline said.

"And even when we first met, you never made sad dinosaur noises, did you?"

"I guess not…"

"Have you ever, in your life, made sad dinosaur noises other than just now?"

"No, but—"

"Okay! So there you go! That's not a thing that you're gonna do! And you've raised your hand to answer questions in class plenty, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"So, pretend whoever you're trying to talk to is Professor Flitwick, and he just asked, 'what is a common greeting?' so then you can answer, 'Hello!'"

"I'm not sure if that'll work quite as well…" Emmeline said. "But, I suppose it's worth a shot."

"Is there anyone you like right now?" Lily asked.

Emmeline's eyes widened a moment and she glanced to the side briefly before saying, "Um. Well. No one really obtainable."

"Bowie again?"

"Er, yeah. Bowie."

"Well, we'll keep an eye out, I'm sure we can find a boy that isn't an international pop star that will peak your interests," Lily said. "What about Gerald?"

"I don't think I'm his type," Emmeline said.

"Why not?"

"I don't think _girls_ are his type."

" _Oh_. Really?"

Emmeline nodded.

"Huh," Lily said.

"I'm sorry for making this about me and the fact that I can't get a date," Emmeline said, cringing slightly.

"It's okay, I know it bothers you," Lily said, offering the girl a smile.

"I just feel like everyone is passing me up. I feel like the only person in our year that hasn't even been kissed."

"Well, Dorcas' first kiss was with Billy Stebbins and they still can't look each other in the eye. And Marlene's first kiss was with Potter on a dare, so it's not like either of those were the height of romance," Lily pointed out. "And I only had mine last year with Michael. There's not a deadline."

"I guess."

"We'll find you someone, Emmeline, don't you worry. Once you find someone you like, we'll make sure you can talk to him," Lily assured her. "And you'll see, once you get past the initial scary part, it'll be just as easy as talking to Remus about comics."

"Thanks. And, uh, speaking of Remus, I'm sure I can slip you into conversation with him," Emmeline said.

"Really?" Lily said, eyes lighting up. "Just, uh, just be subtle about it, like don't make it obvious that you're talking to him _for_ me, you know?"

"So, no telling him that you're single and looking for a comic nerd about six feet tall to cuddle with?" Emmeline teased.

"No! …but if somehow you find out if he _likes_ cuddling, I mean—"

"There's no way to bring that up subtly."

"Okay, okay. Just, you know. Make me look good."

"I told you, boys already think you look good."

" _Potter will never count."_


	8. Contraband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! You guys get this one slightly early because I am going to be at the local comic convention all weekend. Give me some comments to read during slow parts, yeah?
> 
> I'm introducing a character I came up with and really enjoy in this one, I hope I'll be able to squeeze him in some more in the future.

" _Oh my God, I'm such an arse, I'm such an arse, please don't tell him I said any of this, I'm such an arse."_

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Contraband**

* * *

 

It was Minerva McGonagall's birthday, and no matter how many times the Marauders asked her, she refused to give up her exact age. She still wasn't entirely sure how they had found out when her birthday was in the first place.

Before that group of boys had started attending Hogwarts, her birthday was a quiet event. She never much liked to fuss about it and the most that would happen would be a card or a few small gifts with a brief "Happy Birthday" from her colleagues. Pomona would often join her for tea and a small cake, and as her birthday was on a Saturday this year, they intended to go out for lunch. Nothing extravagant.

But the Marauders always had other plans. During their first year, they had put together a cake made entirely out of catnip with a dozen sparklers sticking out of the top.

During their second year, they had opted for a real cake rather than a catnip cake, which was the size of her desk, and in fact, sat in her classroom where her desk was meant to be.

Their third year, a set of enchanted bagpipes followed her about the castle, playing "Happy Birthday" as she went. She would never admit it, but that had probably been her favorite one, reminding her of her youth and her father's bagpipes.

The previous year, she had attempted to enter her classroom, only to find it filled to the brim with balloons. When she attempted to vanish them, they simply multiplied, and so she and her first class had no choice but to pop the balloons to form a path.

They had been filled with glitter and confetti.

And so today, she sat at the staff table watching the boys in question with a suspicious eye. What would they do this year?

"Happy Birthday, Minerva," Dumbledore said cheerfully, passing her a slender box and a card.

"Thank you, Albus," she said, opening the card. She still glanced toward Gryffindor table every now and again, suspicious as ever of the boys cheerfully eating breakfast.

The card was nice. It was simple. Dumbledore had written a kind message inside about how he appreciated having her as his deputy headmistress.

She tucked the card away and opened the box, finding a sleek, high quality, green quill inside.

"You remembered that I misplaced mine," McGonagall said with a smile. She'd had a similar quill that she'd adored that had gone missing some time during the summer. It had been her favorite.

"Now the old one is certain to turn up," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "And you'll have two."

"Thank you," she said, gently setting the lid back on the box. There was a slight commotion overhead as the mail arrived. A couple more cards landed before McGonagall. She recognized the handwriting on one as belonging to her mother. Another envelope had her brother's residence as the return address, but the handwriting was far too neat to belong to him.

_Melody must have written it,_ she thought with a small smile. Malcolm's handwriting had always been atrocious, thankfully his wife had half a clue how penmanship worked.

A red envelope near the bottom of the pile caught her attention, as when her hand brushed against it, she found that it was very warm.

"Oh, no," she said, picking it up with the tips of her fingers.

"Is that a howler?" Professor Sprout asked. "Who on earth would send you a howler?"

"Three guesses, Pomona," McGonagall said, glancing toward the Gryffindor table yet again. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were taking turns subtly glancing her way.

"Best to get it over-with, Minerva," Dumbledore advised. McGonagall sighed, and cautiously opened the letter.

The letter sprang from her grasp and floated before her, folding itself into the shape of a mouth, which opened widely and began not to yell, but to sing.

_McGonagall! McGonagall!_

_Minerva McGonagall!_

_She's the belle of every ball!_

_The wisest head of house of all!_

_If you're looking for the grandest,_

_The greatest, you know who to call!_

_McGonagall! McGonagall!_

_Minerva McGonagall!_

_Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!_

_Professor McGonagall!_

The loud, booming voice echoed through the hall, and once the howler was finished, rather than bursting into flames as was customary, it exploded into multicolored confetti, which fell upon everyone at the staff table.

The hall erupted into laughter and cheers, the biggest grins on those four boys' faces.

"How delightful! They wrote you a song! Music is such grand magic, isn't it? Now I'm upset that my birthday falls during the summer holiday," Dumbledore said, taking a spoon to fish out the confetti from his coffee.

" _So_ delightful," McGonagall said, casting the Marauders a glare, though a smile was hard to hide on her face as she did so, shaking her head slightly.

It was absolutely ridiculous, absolutely over the top, but it was so very _them._

Another red envelope, this one not enchanted, was addressed, "To: The Belle of Every Ball & The Wisest Head of House of All."

Another brief roll of the eye and McGonagall opened the envelope, delighted to find an adorable illustration of a kitten wearing a witch's hat on the front of the card and signatures from the Gryffindor students inside.

She couldn't help but wonder what they would do next year.

* * *

 

"That went magnificently, if I do say so myself," James said with a grin.

"I do love that stern look she gives us when she's trying not to smile," Sirius said, mockingly blowing a kiss in McGonagall's direction. The woman scowled, rolling her eyes, tough the boys had learned over the years to watch the corner of her mouth twitch and give away her amusement.

"Well, I mean, we wrote her a _song_ this year," Remus said.

"And rehearsed it and sang it for the howler," Petter said.

" _And_ got it to turn into confetti instead of bursting into flames," added James.

"If all else fails, we can go into the greeting card business," Sirius nodded.

"We'll have to sort out our harmonies, then," James said. He playfully nudged Peter in the ribs. _"Someone_ will have to stop singing so flat."

"I wasn't singing flat, _someone else,"_ Peter nudged him in return, "was sharp."

"We would just hire better singers yeah?" Remus said to Sirius, who nodded in response.

"Get some of the artsy Ravenclaws to do it," Sirius said.

"I'm artsy! And I don't sing sharp," James said as though the idea of anything else being true insulted him.

"You're pen-and-ink artsy, which is great and definitely has a place in our hypothetical business, but Ravenclaw's got almost all of the musician-artsy people," Sirius said.

"We should get a Hufflepuff to write some greetings, they're the best people to hear bad news from," Peter said.

"That's true, last time my parents sent me a howler, a bunch of them gave me 'sorry your parents are the worst' brownies," Sirius nodded.

"Hufflepuffs are good people," Remus said.

"Except Roy, fuck that guy," Sirius said, casting a glance toward the Hufflepuff seventh year in question.

"Backtracking to pen-and-ink artsy, though," James said, pulling a rolled-up piece of parchment from his bag and setting it before Sirius. "Finished it."

Sirius eagerly unrolled the parchment to reveal a drawing of a roaring lion wielding a sword. He grinned, "It looks great, Prongs, better than I pictured it, thanks."

"You're welcome. Why did you need a drawing of a lion so badly anyway?" James quirked a brow.

"Oh, you'll see," Sirius said, carefully rolling up the parchment again. "I have plans to _really_ piss off my parents with this."

"Ah, a noble cause indeed! I suppose I won't charge you, then," James nodded.

Sirius set a hand to his chest, appalled. "Charge me?"

"That thing took me hours!"

"But I'm your best mate!"

" _Hours."_

" _Best. Mate."_

"Hours _upon hours."_

"Okay, fine! I get it! James Potter's time is valuable," Sirius sighed. "You're getting really good at animals, by the way."

"Thanks," James said. "I'm still rubbish at people, though."

"I don't think you're people drawings are rubbish," Peter said. "I think they're great."

"No, they're rubbish," Sirius nodded.

"I can always count on you for honest feedback, Padfoot," James said dryly. Sirius grinned.

"Just keep practicing, you'll get better," Remus encouraged.

"Yeah, you used to be rubbish at animals, too," Sirius pointed out.

"Remember when you tried to draw a gryphon and we all thought it was a tree?" Remus said with a slight laugh.

James frowned, finding the memory less amusing than his friends had. "Yeah, I still don't get how you guys got 'tree' from that."

"The leaves," Peter said.

"Those were feathers!" said James.

"Well then why was there a tree trunk?" Sirius asked.

"Those were the legs and claws," James sighed.

"Anyway, you've gotten much better, Prongs. I'd say you should be proud, but that's sort of your default anyway," Remus shrugged.

"Thanks," James said. "Sirius, can I try to draw you again later?"

"Should I be—?"

"No, you should not be nude."

"Well, fine," Sirius said, throwing his hands up. "But I don't know how you expect to learn the human anatomy by constantly drawing me with my clothes on."

"Somehow, I'll figure it out," James said. He turned to Remus and Peter. "Either of you willing to hold still why I try to draw you later?"

"Yeah sure," Remus said.

"How still?" Peter asked.

"Very still, I don't even want you breathing if you can help it," James said very seriously.

"That's beyond my talents," Peter smiled.

"Well then just try not to move your head much," said James.

"Maybe you should ask Evans if you can draw her," Peter suggested.

"Hmm…" James said, small smile tugging at his lips as he considered this.

"You're thinking about _her_ nude now, aren't you?" Remus said.

"Maybe," James shrugged.

"Well, now I am, too," Sirius said.

"Same," said Peter. Remus shook his head at the three of them.

"Don't you get judgmental, Moony, you brought it up. Like you weren't thinking about it," Sirius said. Remus didn't respond, a blush creeping up from his neck.

"Anyway, don't ask Evans if you can draw her nude, she will hex you," Sirius advised.

"Yeah, you're probably right," James sighed.

"I'm completely right," Sirius said, glancing toward the Hufflepuff table where Lily, Marlene, and Emmeline had joined Dorcas. "Anyway, if you want to draw naked girls so bad, I've got some magazines—"

"Where do you even get those? You're underage," Remus said.

"I have a muggle fake ID," Sirius shrugged. "Also, I got some from AJ. Which reminds me, he passed me a note yesterday saying he found that manual I was looking for."

"Oh, yeah, I got one too," Peter said. "He's got more of those muggle snacks I like."

Abhijeet Kumar was a fourth year, Ravenclaw. His name was just ethnic enough to leave much of the student body baffled, and many not even attempting to pronounce it correctly. To avoid the jokes and mispronunciations, he simply went by "AJ."

Being a half-blood, AJ had a great appreciation for muggle culture, an appreciation that often got him mocked and bullied, particularly in his early years at school. Recently, it was discouraged to advertise an interest or connection to the muggle world. Even receiving something muggle in the mail was worth judgmental stares at best.

Remus often would quickly shuffle other books atop his comics when others would walk by. His friends noticed that he didn't read them in the great hall or library at all anymore after MacPherson's first class.

Emmeline always hunched over her muggle music magazines, discussing the contents in hushed tones to only certain people.

Lily used pens and lined paper to study in the common room but dared not use anything but a quill and parchment in class.

Peter had a secret stash of muggle sweets that rarely left their dorm room with their brightly colored wrapping and non-moving images on the box.

But being discouraged from showing any connection to the muggle world did not diminish the demand for muggle items. Muggle magazines, food, office supplies, and beauty products were not easy to come across at Hogwarts, impossible to have ordered and shipped without a muggle-savvy friend outside Hogwarts, and completely unavailable in Hogsmeade.

That was where AJ came in. He didn't get great grades, but he knew a business opportunity when he saw it. He became the man to see for anything desirable and difficult to obtain, under the condition that no staff member (or hostile student) would ever find out. No one was sure where he got everything, but it was thought that his already-graduated sister helped him out.

"Ask if he'll meet us after breakfast, then," James said.

"I'll go," Peter said, getting up and heading for the Ravenclaw table.

"Be subtle!" Sirius called after him.

" _Real subtle,"_ Remus said sarcastically.

* * *

 

AJ had told Peter to meet him at an unused classroom on the fifth floor. When they arrived outside said classroom, they found, Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas already there, whispering near the window across from the door.

"Oh, no, he's just selling to _anyone_ now, isn't he?" Sirius said once he approached Marlene, tutting slightly.

"Selling to you _has_ to be more suspicious than selling to us, Sirius, Dear," Marlene said, batting here eyes.

"No more suspicious than outright discussing it," Lily said, setting a finger to her lips.

Sirius and Marlene each rolled their eyes, but stopped talking, nonetheless. AJ was very touchy about open discussions of his not-exactly-legal business.

The door to the classroom swung open and Marlene's older brother, Michael stepped out.

"'Ello!" the handsome blond said cheerfully, reaching over to ruffle Marlene's platinum locks. She swatted at his hand, scowling. Murmurs of greetings came from the others in the group.

"Didn't know you were a customer, Mate," Dorcas said in hushed tones.

"Well, that's sort of the point, isn't it?" Michael whispered. "I'm not gonna jeopardize my supply of Columbian coffee by advertising it."

"Where the hell is he getting Columbian coffee?" said Marlene.

"Columbia, I imagine," Remus said. Marlene cast him an unamused glance. He offered her an innocent smile.

"I don't ask questions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go be a coffee snob," Michael said.

"Is that not your constant state of being?" Lily teased. Michael smiled and ruffled her hair as well before bidding the group farewell and walking off.

It wasn't long before the classroom door creaked open again. AJ leaned outside, glancing about suspiciously.

"Lupin, Evans, Vance, I have to talk to you three before we start," the boy said, gesturing for them to enter.

"Why just us?" Remus asked.

"Why do you think," AJ said, tapping the part of his robes where the three specified had fastened prefect badges.

"Oh," Lily said. She, Emmeline, and Remus stepped inside and AJ closed the door behind them.

"Does he freak anyone else out?" Marlene said.

"That's racist," said James.

"No, not because he's Indian, it's his eyes," Marlene said, gesturing to her own. "One of them doesn't move much and they don't totally match? It's kind of unsettling, and I think he _knows it,_ too, because he's always making weird eye puns."

The others exchanged glances.

"Uh…" Peter started.

"Marly," Dorcas said. "AJ only has one eye."

"What do you mean? He clearly just had two!" Marlene said.

"His left eye is glass," James said.

"That's why it doesn't move as much as the other one when he looks around," Peter said.

"You've never seen him take it out? He likes to freak out the first years and substitute teachers with it, it's great," Sirius said.

Marlene's eyes widened in horror and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my God, I'm such an arse, I'm such an arse, please don't tell him I said any of this, _I'm such an arse."_

"You see, you shouldn't make fun of anyone's appearance," Dorcas said.

"I wasn't making fun of it, I just said it creeped me out! Wait, is that worse? I'm _such an arse,"_ Marlene whined.

"Oh, it's definitely worse," James nodded, smile twitching at his lips.

"Why does he even have a glass eye, can't wizards grow that stuff back?" Marlene said.

"I dunno, we never asked for details," Sirius shrugged.

"I imagine eyes are more complicated than bones or something, sounds like something Lily might know, she's into that medical stuff," Dorcas pondered.

"Wizards are bad at eyes, or I wouldn't need this rubbish," James said, tapping the frames of his glasses.

"Well, your eyesight is so bad no amount of magic could help even if wizards _weren't_ bad at eyes," Sirius aid.

"It's not _that_ bad…" James said.

Sirius cast Marlene and Dorcas a knowing glance before reaching forward and snatching the square frames from James' face.

"Hey!" James said, immediately squinting to see.

"I thought your eyesight wasn't that bad," Sirius said in a sing-song voice.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Peter said, holding up two fingers.

James sighed. "Two. You're blurry, not kaleidoscopic. How do you think glasses work?"

Peter took a couple steps away. "Okay, then, how about now?"

James squinted again. "You know what? Shut up, give me my glasses back."

Sirius dangled the frames before James, who barely saw them. He attempted to grab them, only for Sirius to yank them away.

"Come on, Sirius, give him back his glasses," Dorcas said.

"But it's so fun to immediately make him useless," Sirius said, continuing to jerk the glasses out of James' reach. James scowled and tackled the Sirius-shaped blur just as the classroom door opened.

"Lover's spat?" Remus asked, walking over to the struggling pair on the floor. Sirius was still determined to hold the glasses far out of James' reach. James had Sirius in a headlock. "I left you for less than five minutes."

"Sirius stole James' glasses," Dorcas said.

"Again," said Peter.

Lily rolled her eyes. "No one's going to stop them, then?"

"We usually wait until one of them taps out," Peter shrugged.

"Do they do this a lot?" Dorcas asked.

"Do they play keep away with each other's stuff until they're a useless heap on the floor?" Remus said. "Yes, constantly."

"There are no winners in their fights," Peter said.

"Only losers," Remus sighed.

"I feel like that can't be true, someone must win. Who wants a galleon on Black beating Potter?" said AJ.

"Hey!" James protested.

"I dunno, James makes us do pull-ups on our brooms at practice," Marlene said. "He's probably got more muscle than Sirius."

"Really, McKinnon?" Sirius gasped through the headlock.

"I think anyone on the team could kick your arse, it's nothing personal," Marlene shrugged, purposely and awkwardly not looking in AJ's direction.

Lily sighed, setting down her bag and kneeling down. She pried Sirius' fingers open to retrieve James' glasses and set them back on his face.

"Aw, so much for making bets," AJ poured. James released Sirius and they scrambled to their feet.

"Thanks," James said. "But for the record, I'd have gotten them back eventually."

"Mmhm," Lily said.

"I would have!" he insisted. "Although I do not mind being rescued by you, Evans! You're my knight in shining armor."

"Don't make me regret not leaving you blind," Lily said. James smirked.

"Also, your glasses are covered in fingerprints," Emmeline said softly. James sighed and took them off, rubbing them against his shirt.

"So, what did AJ need you guys for?" Sirius asked, dusting himself off.

"Oh, you know, reminding us that if we turn him in, he's got a detailed record of every transaction he's done in a book charmed so only he can open it," Lily shrugged.

"That's intense," Dorcas said.

"If I go down, I'm taking you all with me," AJ said cheerfully.

"So, an _eye_ for an _eye_ if you will," Sirius said.

"Exactly," AJ grinned.

"He'll be keeping an _eye_ on all the prefects," Remus said.

"Gonna keep an _eye_ out for anything suspicious," AJ added.

"And if we see him conducting business, we've agreed to turn a _blind eye,"_ Lily said.

"That was a good one," AJ said, applauding slightly.

"Yes, great punning, Evans," Sirius nodded.

"Am I the only one that didn't know he had a glass eye?" Marlene said, exasperated.

" _That's_ why you never thought my jokes were funny!" said AJ. "I thought you were just uptight."

Marlene sighed.

"Wanna see me take it out?" asked AJ.

"Oh, God, _no,"_ Marlene said. Lily and Dorcas cringed and shook their heads as well.

"It's not _that_ unsettling," Emmeline said.

"My dear housemates are desensitized to my antics," AJ said, patting Emmeline on the shoulder. "Anyway, let's do this! Ladies first."

The girls walked past AJ and into the classroom. He closed the door, leaving the Marauders in the hallway.

"Making deals with someone running an illegal business," Sirius tsked once the door was closed. "You lot are the _worst_ prefects.

"Again, take it up with Dumbledore," said Remus.

* * *

 

After the girls had shuffled off, their bags a little heavier, the Marauders shuffled into the classroom where AJ had a case set up on one of the desks. He hoisted himself atop a chair and then on top of the desk. The Gryffindors watched as he stepped into the case and climbed down within its magical depths. After a moment, a large bag was unceremoniously tossed from the case and onto the desk's surface beside it. AJ reappeared, still waist-deep in the case, with a thick manual and several magazines in his arms.

He set this down and picked up the bag. "Okay, Pettigrew, ten boxes of twinkies, ten of ding-dongs, a case of mars bars, and three cases of muggle soda."

Eagerly, Peter took the bag and opened it, shuffling through its contents to verify that everything was there. "How much?"

"Ten galleons for the lot," said AJ. The others cringed.

"Seven," Peter countered.

"Ten," AJ said, confident.

"That's a bit steep," Peter frowned. _"Seven."_

"Supply and demand," AJ shrugged. "Nine."

"Seven galleons and… _five_ sickles," Peter said.

"Nine," AJ said again.

"Eight," said Peter.

"Deal," AJ said, reaching to shake Peter's hand.

"Prongs," Peter whispered, digging through his pockets. "Can I borrow a galleon?"

James pulled out his pouch of money and tossed AJ a gold coin to go with the seven others Peter was counting out.

AJ meticulously examined each coin, sticking a few between his teeth for good measure. Apparently, someone had once paid him in mostly leprechaun gold, leaving him paranoid in that regard as well.

He deposited the coins into a slot in front of his case before taking a logbook, the one mentioned by Lily earlier, and scribbling a few notes and numbers.

"Now, Sirius," AJ said, taking the thick manual he had brought. "I believe this is what you're looking for."

Sirius took the manual and examined the unmoving photograph of a motorcycle on the cover. He flipped through the pages, finding diagrams and instructions all the way through.

"This has to be it," Sirius said.

"The model number matches," Remus nodded, leaning over to see the cover.

Sirius had purchased a motorcycle from some muggles over the summer. James was still convinced that said muggles had stolen it, but the price was right and both parties promised to keep quiet.

The biggest problem with the motorcycle was not it's potentially shady origins, however. It was the fact that the damn thing didn't work.

Sirius had stashed it at the Potter estate, and his three "best friends" had watched in great amusement as he tried and failed to get it to start, over and over, and nearly set himself on fire fiddling with the engine.

This manual ought to be a good start to actually getting the vehicle moving.

"I've also got a stack of magazines here with articles detailing some of the problems you said you were having. Also, one of them is just pictures of pretty girls posed on motorcycles," AJ said, gesturing to the nearby stack of magazines.

"How much for the lot?" Sirius asked.

"Seven galleons for the manual, four galleons a piece for the magazines."

"Four galleons for a magazine? Why don't you just rob me?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I mean, if you know somewhere else to get them cheaper," AJ said, taking the stack of magazines.

"I both admire and despise this monopoly you've created," Sirius scowled.

"You have the money," James said softly.

"It's the principle of the thing, Prongs," Sirius said. "One galleon a piece, I buy from you all the time."

"Three galleons a piece."

"Two," Sirius said.

"Three," AJ said again.

"Two."

"Three."

"Two."

"Pretty sure this isn't how haggling works," James said.

"Two galleons a piece and fifteen sickles on top of that," AJ said.

"Two galleons a piece, ten sickles on top of that, and I'll buy a carton of cigarettes from you," Sirius said.

"Two galleons a piece, thirteen sickles on top of that, and five galleons for the carton of cigarettes," AJ said, offering Sirius his hand. One handshake later, Sirius was counting coins and AJ was sinking into the depths of his case for a carton of cigarettes.

"What brand?" came AJ's voice from within the case.

"You got reds?" Sirius called.

"Sure do."

"I'll take them," Sirius said. He glanced at Remus. "Hey, uh, smoke buddy…"

Remus dug out two galleons from his pocket to contribute to the carton of cigarettes. Sirius tipped an imaginary hat at him.

AJ reappeared with the carton and money was exchanged. Sirius began the task of fitting his purchases into his bag. Peter was less concerned with this, more focused on the box of twinkies he had just opened.

"Can I interest either of you in anything?" AJ asked Remus and James.

"I think I'm okay, maybe next time, Abhijeet," Remus said.

"I've got a few new Avengers issues," AJ taunted.

"I'm borrowing those from Emmeline right now," Remus shrugged.

"My house sharing muggle books is really bad for business," AJ sighed.

"I'd feel worse for you if I didn't just spend seventeen galleons," Sirius said.

"Get any new art books in?" James asked.

"Nah," AJ said. "Check back next month, I'm expecting some university text books."

"Do people buy those?" Peter asked.

"Oh yeah," said AJ, climbing out of his case. "There's a whole group of Hufflepuffs that always wants new psych books. I sold them a ton of Freud, I hate to tell them he's been discredited…"

"Is that why Roy keeps asking me weird as hell questions about my relationship with my mother?" Sirius said.

AJ laughed. "Oh. Probably. Sorry about that, Mate."

And with that, he turned around and closed his case.


	9. Danger (But In A Sexy Way)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, so some weird shit went down with my day job. I mean, I've still got it, but they changed up a lot of things and I'm just very thrown off my game right now. You guys still get a chapter, though! No worries! Please leave me some comments so I can focus on anything besides my future at this company.

" _Do you have any idea how much of a Ravenclaw stereotype you are, you giant nerd?"_

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Danger (But In A Sexy Way)**

* * *

The Marauders walked through the corridor, which was hardly anything special as the corridor was full of students on their way to class. Sirius' brow was furrowed, his eyes dark as he went, an envelope in his hand that he'd received at breakfast.

"I don't think you should open it," Remus said.

"You know whatever it is will just piss you off," Peter agreed.

"Yeah, but you also know there's a sick, curious part of you that won't rest until you've opened it," James pointed out. His tone was not that of someone trying to temp Sirius, but rather, matter-of-fact, as though they had all been through these motions before.

They had.

Sirius sighed dramatically, hoisting himself atop a windowsill and taking a seat. The others stopped and watched him expectantly.

"Let's get this over-with," Sirius mumbled, peeling open the wax seal with his family crest and tugging out the letter. He cleared his throat and began to speak in a shrill voice, imitating his mother.

" _Dear Sirius: The school has informed us that you have already received detention on three different occasions this year, twice from the same professor. Said professor has also relayed your newfound enjoyment for dressing as a woman—_ " Sirius's voice suddenly went back to normal, "Oh, MacPherson thinks that's dressing as a woman? I can show him dressing as a woman."

"You're going to add 'dressing in drag' to your list of ways to antagonize him?" Remus asked.

"Give him something worth writing home about," Sirius shrugged. He took on his shrill imitation of his mother's voice again. _"Is there no end to your disgusting attempts to drag this family's name through the mud? Have you ever once stopped to consider that it is not only your reputation that you are destroying, but generations of reputations built up by our ancestors—_ Yeah, Mum, I'm quite aware, it helps me sleep at night, actually— _At your age, Bellatrix was a prefect who used her position to fight for the greater good of her people and stand up for her beliefs—"_

"Wait," Remus said. "Didn't you say that when Bellatrix was made prefect, she had muggleborns scrub the dungeon floors after framing them for things her friends did?"

"You don't _understand,"_ Sirius said sarcastically. "She was _fighting_ for us _poor oppressed purebloods!"_

"Truly, where would purebloods be without her?" James said, setting a hand to his heart as though in admiration.

"Didn't you say she also had her badge taken away the next year?" said Peter.

"Clearly the work of those looking to undermine the pure! Nobody knows the trouble we've seen!" Sirius said. He glanced back down at the letter again with a frown before continuing. _"At your age, Narcissa had already secured an engagement with a wealthy, pureblood man—"_

"Sirius! What are you waiting for, why haven't you fathered any pureblood babies yet?" James demanded.

"That's not what she said, she said an engagement to a wealthy, pureblood man," Sirius said, pointing violently at the letter. "That's what I need to earn her love. Clearly!"

"Oh, well, tell her that you're engaged to me," James said with a shrug as though that solved everything.

"I dunno, mate, you're awfully… blood traitor-y," Sirius said, looking James up and down as though appraising him.

"But I've got so much money," James said. "And come on, I'd make a great husband."

Sirius seemed to consider this a moment. "Get me a ring, I'll think about it."

"Is she through comparing you to family yet?" Remus asked, gesturing to the letter.

"Probably not, she hasn't even gotten to Regulus yet. Let's see. _At your age, your father was star beater on the Quidditch team. At your age, I was a prefect and a straight-O student—_ Now, mother, I think straight O's is a bit of a stretch."

"Your dad also has terrible technique, just saying," said James.

" _I honestly don't know what's wrong with you, why you've strayed so far from what you know is right and allowed yourself to be brainwashed into rejecting what we've worked so hard to build. I had hoped you would be better than this, smarter than this, but it's all just more of the same, year after year. You can't even handle dressing in a manner that won't bring shame to the family. I fear it's only gotten worse since you've started listening to that wretched muggle music. It's hypnotized you, it's leading you away from your family and into the arms of filth and deviants."_

"Excuse you, Mrs. Black," Peter said, crossing his arms before his chest. "We have _names."_

"So who among us is filth and who's a deviant?" Remus asked, shaking his head slightly at the notion of music being the reason Sirius managed to not be a pureblood supremacist.

"Hmm," James said. He pointed at Peter. "Filth—," he pointed at himself, "—deviant—," and at last he pointed at Remus, "—and some sort of filth and deviant hybrid."

"Sounds about right," Sirius said with a nod. _"I urge you to stop listening to the muggles and their influence. I kept you away from it during the summer—"_

"Oh, Walburga, if only you knew," James said, thinking back to Sirius' tales of sneaking out of the House of Black late at night all summer to attend punk shows.

"— _and now it's up to you to recognize what's right for yourself and the family and keep yourself away. Merlin knows that school is doing nothing to keep you from being exposed to such filth, you must show self-control, you must remember that the propaganda shown to you by that—_ Er, the M-Word— _lover, Dumbledore is nothing but lies set forth to undermine the wizard community as a whole. The fact that he is allowed to expose his anti-magic teachings to children turns my stomach. You must find the strength to resist, or at the rate you're going, you'll end up a scum-sucking whore living on the streets like Andromeda."_

"A scum-sucking whore," James repeated, letting out a low whistle. "That's… a bit of a stretch."

"Didn't Andromedia just buy a house? She sent you pictures last week," Remus said.

"And doesn't she have a husband and a kid?" added Peter.

"Yes. But her life is awful, simple awful since she married Ted! A nice house with a deck where she drinks tea! A husband that loves her! A daughter who can change her hair color at will! A true cautionary tale!" Sirius said, rolling his eyes so hard it could almost be felt by the others. "Okay, let's see what else dear Mum has to say.

" _Why can't you find it in yourself to be more like Regulus?—_ There we go, I was wondering when he'd come up— _Regulus is at the top of his class and his professors, particularly is head of house, have nothing but glowing things to say about him. He's just made the Quidditch team and the captain boasts that he's the best seeker they've had in years."_

"That's a low bar, Slytherin was always better at getting points through chasing rather than by the snitch," James said.

"Also, that doesn't sound like something Emma would do," Peter said, thinking of the Slytherin Quidditch Captain.

"No, she'd never praise him to his face, he'd start thinking he's important," Sirius nodded. _"It's truly a blessing that we have Regulus around to try and combat all the shame you bring upon our name. He is the very model of what a good pureblood son should be. You can be too, Sirius. Try harder. Get new friends, better friends. You can still be everything we've worked for you to be. You can still be respected and adored. Just be more like Regulus. Regards, Mother."_

"Well, she thinks there's still hope for you?" James said, trying to find a positive.

"Yes, she will love you eternally and accept you if you change everything about yourself," Remus said.

"Yes, you can still be saved!" James said.

"I bet if you ask Slughorn, he'll let you move in to the Slytherin Dorms right away," Peter said.

"I guess you won't need all your records anymore," James pointed out. "Time to listen to exclusively classical wizard composers."

"We're going to miss you," Remus said, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "But you must fulfill your destiny as a Black."

"Maybe if things don't work out with Narcissa's husband, you can marry her and have lots of pureblood children. It's not incest if it's first cousins, right?" James said.

"It's for the greater good of wizardkind!" Peter said.

"It was nice being your friend while it lasted," Sirius said, pulling the three of them into a tight group hug. "But I simply cannot risk becoming a _deviant!_ Adieu, old friends! I'm sure we will meet again when I force you to lick my boots and scrub my toilets."

He released them from his grasp before taking a few steps away.

"Really though," James called after him, "Your mum is awful."

Sirius turned on his heel and came back to the group, the game over. "Tell me something I don't know."

"I'll keep sharing mine with you," James said. Sirius smiled.

"You're a far superior brother-slash-fiance than Regulus," Sirius said, theatrically pulling James into his arms as the bell warning students that there were only two minutes before class began to echo through the halls.

Sirius released James and the boys shuffled off. They were in no hurry, like the panicked first years speeding past them. Charms wasn't far, and Flitwick was forgiving.

When they entered class, they found a small group of their classmates had huddled around a desk near the back of room. The boys joined this group to see what it was that was drawing interest, again, in no rush to start any notes.

Professor Flitwick was pointing his wand at the desk's surface, mumbling spells beneath his breath. The wand would flash and the students would sigh each time as the spell achieved nothing.

He seemed to be trying to remove a crude carving in the wood of a symbol: a triangle encasing a circle and a straight, vertical line.

"I mean, to be fair, Professor, it _is_ also the symbol for the Deathly Hallows," Marlene said. "You could just pretend it's that and leave it?"

"What else is it? I've only seen it in my old Three Brothers storybook," Peter commented, having wiggled his way to the front of the crowd as he was on the shorter side of most of his peers.

"It's a symbol Grindelwald adopted," Sirius said. "It's obscure, not as well-known as like, the Dark Mark, but Grindelwald left a huge one carved into the wall at his old school before they kicked him out."

"Quite right," Professor Flitwick said, trying another spell.

"Well, I mean, its original meaning isn't so awful? I suppose?" Lily said hesitantly, her eyes never leaving the desk.

"It doesn't really matter what it used to mean. Grindelwald's followers, or now, You-Know-Who's followers see it, they don't think about a fairy tale," Dorcas said with a scowl. "They see a sign of their beliefs and feel pride and a sense of justification."

"Yeah, remember Xeno? That Ravenclaw that graduated a few years back? He always would wear one and argue with anyone that commented on it that it _really means_ to identify other believers in the Deathly Hallows, but how are you to know that it's not Grindelwald they're identifying you with instead?" Remus said.

"The Deathly Hallows aren't _real_ , it's just a story," James said with a roll of the eye.

"We're talking about Psycho Xeno here," Marlene pointed out.

"Mr. Lovegood certainly had his own way of thinking, and I do respect the argument some have for reclaiming the symbol's original meaning. However, I can't say that I necessarily agree, or want it carved into one of my desks," Professor Flitwick said, sighing after another failed spell.

"I don't think anyone carved it in there and made sure you couldn't get rid of it because they're _very passionate_ about the Deathly Hallows," Dorcas said, her expression still dark. "It's a small message to everyone that isn't pureblood. _You aren't welcome here._ And to those that sympathize, it's a message of _you aren't alone._ It might as well be a swastika or something."

"Which is precisely why I want it gone. I value all of my students, and everyone willing to learn is welcome in my class and should feel safe here," Flitwick said, giving Dorcas' arm a gentle pat. The girl spared a smile.

"Can I give it a try, Professor?" James asked suddenly.

"I suppose so, Mr. Potter, I'm not getting anywhere with it," Flitwick said, hopping down from the seat to make room for James.

"If Flitwick can't get rid of it, how do you suppose you will?" Lily frowned. "I swear, Potter, your _ego."_

As James took a seat at the desk, he set a hand to his heart dramatically. "Your doubt in me wounds me deeply, Evans. _Deeply."_

"Now, now, I don't claim to be all-knowing, Miss Evans. Let's see what Mr. Potter tries," Flitwick said cheerfully.

James pulled out his wand and proceeded to hold it in his hand like a pencil, leaning close to the desk and setting the tip of his wand to the surface.

He extended the carving of the center line straight upward, past the boundaries of the triangle. He began carving more and more lines, some straight, some curved, both within the original symbol and outside of it.

This went on for a short while, the others curiously watching him work and James entirely focused. When at last he was through, he set his wand aside and leaned back to reveal a carving of a castle tower with a flag at the top, the original symbol camouflaged somewhere in the lines.

"Well, it's not gone. But it's less prejudice now," James said with a shrug.

"Nice," Sirius nodded.

"Excellent!" Flitwick said, delighted at the modifications. "Twenty points to Gryffindor for creative thinking, Mr. Potter."

"Thank you, Sir," James said with a grin. "Did you hear that, Evans?"

"Hard to hear much over the sound of you patting yourself on the back, Potter," Lily retorted, though she was smiling and James felt his heart swell at the sight.

"If only it even came close to making up for all the points you've lost us," Marlene said.

"Thanks to your need to heckle MacPherson, Hufflepuff might have a shot at the house cup this year," Dorcas snickered. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had been the most vocal in Defense Against The Dark Arts this year, and were embarrassingly behind in the house points due to this.

"Oh, Potter and Black are handicaps to the house points that we've learned to deal with," Lily said.

"Pretty sure you two," Sirius said, gesturing to Lily and Marlene, "were heckling MacPherson with the rest of us."

Lily frowned. "He was making fun of Remus!"

"Why do you think _we_ took part in the heckling?" James said, standing up and throwing an arm around Remus' shoulders. Remus cleared his throat and cast James a questioning look. "Okay, fine, it was about sixty percent because he was making fun of you and forty percent because he's fun to mess with."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh, shut up, Lupin," James said. "You started it."

"I didn't mean to!" Remus said. "If he weren't _wrong_ all the time…"

"Oh, the stories I've heard from that class," Flitwick tutted. "No matter! It's time to get _this_ class started. Take your seats, take your seats!"

Professor Flitwick headed for the front of the classroom as his students shuffled about to settle into their usual spots. James took out a fresh piece of parchment with all intentions of actually taking notes on the lecture, but lightly began hatching in lines and curves instead.

* * *

Remus Lupin sat in the library at a large table meant for studying. There were several books lying open around him, as well as parchment with notes written in scrawl not of his own. He was flipping through pages, quill between his teeth whenever he wasn't scribbling notes madly.

"Well, there he is, Lils, _all alone,"_ Marlene whispered suggestively. She, Lily, Dorcas, and Emmeline stood on the other side of a bookcase, peeking through gaps between the books at the none-the-wiser Remus.

"Go talk to him," Dorcas urged. Lily was starting to regret letting Dorcas and Marlene in on her crush at breakfast after Remus dropped off some comics with her.

"And say what?" Lily hissed. Marlene began smoothing out Lily's hair and outfit in preparation. When she reached for the buttons on her blouse, Lily swatted her hand away.

Marlene pouted.

"Talk to him about the comics he lent you," Emmeline suggested.

"I haven't read them yet!" said Lily.

"Really?" Emmeline quirked a brow.

"He just gave them to me this morning!"

"Yeah, but comic books are super quick reads," said Emmeline. "It's not like he gave you a complete graphic novel."

"What is the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel? Is a graphic novel just longer?" Dorcas asked.

"Kind of. Comic books can go on for decades telling a lot of smaller, simpler stories, whereas graphic novels are a bit more in-depth and tell one main story and tend to finish up in a few years and stay pretty self-contained… it's like, comic books are like soap operas while graphic novels are like films," Emmeline attempted to explain. "Graphic novels, actually, I think are easier to get into because comic books like to go off in _so many_ alternate universes and titles and it's hard to figure out where exactly to start sometimes. Graphic novels have a clear beginning and end."

"Do you have any idea," Marlene whispered, "How much of a Ravenclaw stereotype you are, you giant nerd?"

Emmeline smiled slightly. "Do you have any idea how much of a Gryffindor stereotype _you_ are, you jock?"

"Anyway, Lily," Dorcas said. "Just go say hello. Say, 'Hi, Remus, how are you?'"

"I know how he is, he's busy," Lily said, peeking between the books again.

"Just go say 'hi,'" Dorcas said again.

"Yeah, come on, it's just Remus, he isn't intimidating or anything," Marlene said, leaning casually against the bookcase.

"I mean. I guess the scars _could_ be," said Emmeline.

Marlene shrugged. "I think the scars are kinda sexy, honestly."

"Yeah?" Dorcas said. She and Emmeline glanced at the boy on the other side of the shelves again, appraising him based on Marlene's comment.

"I dunno, he's not awful to look at, but he doesn't do it for me," Dorcas shrugged.

"Nah, I see it," Emmeline said, stepping away from the shelf. "Kind of that, I dunno, dangerous vibe?"

"Dangerous, sexy vibe," Marlene nodded.

"Who're we talking about?" The girls jumped in surprise and turned to see Sirius standing near Marlene with that horribly frustrating smirk on his face.

"Merlin's beard, Sirius! What are you doing here?" Marlene hissed.

"Returning a book! I do _read,"_ Sirius said with a scoff. "Then I was going to harass Remus and give him bad tips for tutoring the first years but then I heard you lot mumbling about someone _dangerous_ and _sexy_ and that sounds way more interesting. Who are we talking about?"

Lily immediately turned red in embarrassment. The girls exchanged panicked glances.

"Tony Stark!" Emmeline squeaked suddenly.

"Right! Tony Stark is far out," Dorcas nodded.

"So hot! Tony Stark is just… very attractive," Lily nodded.

"Who the hell is Tony Stark?" Sirius asked.

"Muggle," Emmeline said, seemingly very interested in the worn spine of the book near her.

"Yeah he's a muggle. A famous one. _Really_ dreamy," Marlene said.

Sirius eyed the girls suspiciously. "If it's just some muggle celebrity, why are you all hunched together whispering about it like it's some bit secret?"

"Uh, you're not supposed to be loud in the library, Sirius, duh," Dorcas said.

"Are you sure you weren't talking about someone else?" Sirius asked, running his fingers through his hair boastfully.

Lily sighed in relief and rolled her eyes. Sirius simply thought they were discussing _him._ He didn't suspect that they were talking about Remus at all.

"Go _away_ Black, this has nothing to do with you," Lily said.

Sirius pouted. "Why can't I discuss dangerous, sexy muggles with you?"

"Go," Lily urged again.

"Fine," Sirius said with dramatic flourish. "I'll go discuss dangerous, sexy muggles with Remus."

Lily and Marlene exchanged wide-eyed expressions before Marlene grabbed Sirius by the arm. "Actually, Sirius, can I have your opinion on something?"

"On what?" he said.

"Not here," Marlene said, shaking her head. "Let's, um. Let's go somewhere private? It's kind of embarrassing."

"O…kay?" Sirius said suspiciously as Marlene walked off, dragging him with her.

"Thank Merlin for Marlene, it's hard enough to corner Remus alone," Lily said once they were gone.

"What do you suppose they're doing?" Emmeline said, glancing around the shelf in the direction they went.

"It doesn't matter right now," Dorcas said. "Lily, go talk to Remus before another _'Marauder'_ shows up."

Lily watched Remus again with a heavy sigh, nervously fiddling with her hair.

"Emmeline, you do it," she said.

"What about all that you told me about just talking to people?" Emmeline said.

"I know, I know, it's easier said than done when you really like them," Lily said.

"Come on, you've got this," said Dorcas.

"You said you'd talk to him for me," Lily said, prodding Emmeline with her finger.

"Now?"

"Please?" Lily gave Emmeline a winning smile. "And it'll be good practice for _you_ just going up and talking to people."

Emmeline sighed. "I don't get it, you've talked to him before."

"Yeah, in a more casual setting, with more people around. Please? You _thrive_ one-on-one," Lily pouted.

"You owe me," Emmeline said. Hesitantly, she stepped around the bookcase and approached the table where Remus sat. Emmeline silently settled herself into the empty seat across from the boy. She folded her arms atop the table and cleared her throat slightly.

"Hey Remus," she said. Remus jumped slightly, having apparently not realized she had taken a seat.

"Oh, hello, Em," he said pleasantly. "Sorry, didn't see you there."

"It's fine, I tend to sneak up on people," she said. "Big project?"

"I'm just trying to make sure I have everything ready for the first year study group later. I borrowed notes from a few of them and it seems like MacPherson is… _slightly_ less terrible with the basics? A lot of this is still wrong, though," Remus said, piling together the notes he had borrowed.

"Oh, fun," Emmeline said sarcastically. "Do you know who all is going to the study session?"

"Yeah, they gave me a copy of the sign-up sheet." Remus handed her one of the many pieces of parchment scattered about.

She scanned the list and groaned, "You've got Lockhart, good luck."

"Was he the one you were telling me about that said he had been signed as the youngest spokesmodel ever for Sleekeazy?" Remus cringed.

"One and the same," Emmeline said, patting Remus' forearm sympathetically. "Oh, but you've got Kingsley Shacklebolt, too! He's my favorite first year."

"You've got a favorite first year?" Remus said.

"You _don't_ have a favorite first year?" Emmeline smiled.

"Well, we probably shouldn't be playing favorites, right?"

"That's what Lily said, and then a few days later she said that she wanted to carry Christina Kay around in her pocket."

"Okay, fair enough, Christina is unusually polite," Remus nodded. "If you're going to pick a favorite, she's a fair pick."

"Well, Lily's always had good taste," Emmeline said.

"That's true, she _does_ keep turning James down," Remus said. Emmeline snickered. "Don't tell him I joked about his lack of charm, he'll get dramatic about it. _'What if it gets back to Evans!?'"_

Still slightly laughing, Emmeline pulled an imaginary zipper across her lips. "I'll try not to bring it up in our bi-weekly 'What the hell is up with Remus Lupin?' meetings."

Remus smiled. "Very exciting meetings, I imagine."

"Yes, last week's meeting focused on the topic, 'Is Remus eating enough vegetables?'"

"What did you conclude?"

"We didn't, we're carrying the discussion over to next week," Emmeline said with a nod.

"Well, do let me know," Remus said.

"Oh, of course." Emmeline glanced down at his notes. "So, do you know what you're doing for the fifth year study group?"

"I think so, that one was easier since I'm _in_ that class and all," said Remus. "I just hope these sessions are actually, you know, helpful."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. We'll all be there to support you," Emmeline said.

"Who all is 'we'?"

"Oh, you know. Most of the other Ravenclaws in class said they were going. Dorcas is going. James is trying to make sure Quidditch practices won't interfere so Marlene will be there. Lily, too, though she might be a little late. She's tutoring charms _and_ potions, you know. Sometimes they have her tutor Muggle Studies, too, and she doesn't even take that class, but I don't think she's got any of that scheduled today."

Remus nodded. "Understandable. Guess there's not enough of Lily's brain to go around."

"The burdens of intellect! My house knows it well," Emmeline sighed. "As, of course, does Lily."

"Such a heavy burden, I'm sure," Remus smiled.

"Well, you should know, Mr. I-Had-To-Start-A-Study-Group-Because-I-Had-A-Huge-Waiting-List-For-Tutoring," Emmeline pointed out.

"Well, Frank and Alice did, too," Remus said modestly. "I just hope you all learn something, at least, I'd hate to waste everyone's time."

"You'll do fine. We're all looking forward to it. Lily's _really_ looking forward to it," Emmeline said.

"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you all there," Remus said, cocking a brow.

"Good," she said. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to your _lesson plan_."

"That 'Professor Lupin' joke is never going to die, is it? Thanks a lot, Sirius," Remus sighed. "I'll see you later."

"See you," Emmeline said. Remus picked up his quill and went back to his work. Emmeline ducked behind the nearby shelf where Lily and Dorcas were still waiting. A grin was fixed on Lily's face as Emmeline rejoined the group.

"He thinks you're smart!" Emmeline whispered.

"And that I've got good taste! And he's glad I'm going to the session later," Lily said.

"Well he's glad we're _all_ going," Emmeline said.

"And I mean, everyone knows you're smart," Dorcas smiled.

"Oh, speaking of which, when _does_ your tutoring session start?" Emmeline asked.

Lily's eyes widened and she looked to her wrist, where her slightly large watch had turned about. After a bit of fumbling to get the face of the clock to face her, she said, "Shit! Thirty seconds ago! I'll see you at the study group, save me a seat!"

"We will!" Dorcas said as Lily dashed off, dark red hair fanning behind her as she went.

Dorcas turned to Emmeline. _"You_ aren't tutoring today, are you?"

"No, I did some yesterday. Not a lot of Ancient Runes sign-ups yet," Emmeline said.

"Do you want to go to the kitchens and get a snack, then?"

"Sure, maybe we'll find Marlene and Sirius on the way."

"Hopefully not in any compromising position," Dorcas snorted. Emmeline cringed.

"Agreed."

"By the way, who _is_ Tony Stark?"

* * *

"You couldn't find something shiny to distract him with or anything?" Dorcas mumbled to Marlene. They were in an otherwise unused classroom, one of the first to arrive for the fifth year Defense Against the Dark Arts study group.

"He kept asking questions," Marlene shrugged.

"So you snogged him?" Emmeline said, eyes wide.

"I've kissed him before, I knew it would distract him," the blonde said casually.

"Did you just jump him, or?" Dorcas asked. "Like, was there build-up?"

"I told him that Jane said he was a bad kisser," Marlene said. "He asked if I 'defended his honor' when I heard that, and I said it had been a while since we kissed, I don't know if he started to be a lousy kisser, and that about did it. And now none of the _'Marauders'_ are any wiser of Lily's crush."

"They're wise about how good _you_ are at kissing, looks like," Dorcas said, gesturing to the front of the classroom where James, Sirius, and Peter were talking to Remus. Emmeline and Marlene looked over to see James and Peter not-so-subtly watching Marlene as Sirius Spoke. Marlene rolled her eyes and sarcastically blew them a kiss. Peter blushed and looked down at his shoes. James smirked before returning his attention to Sirius, whose back was facing the girls.

"Are you sure that you didn't just _want_ to snog him?" Emmeline said.

"He's a fun snog. He _is_ a good kisser. But I mean. He's never given me butterflies, you know? I look at him, I see a big goof, a buddy… with weird benefits?" Marlene attempted to explain.

"Mmhm," Dorcas said, cocking a brow.

"Believe me. I _wish_ I liked him that way. I wish he made my heart race, I wish I giggled like an idiot thinking about him, I wish that the idea of _holding his hand_ excited me. I'm really comfortable around him, he's fun to talk to and kiss, but romantically, emotionally…? He doesn't do it for me and I really _don't know why,"_ Marlene said in hushed tones with a heavy sigh. "Lily reckons I should stop flirting with him."

"I mean, if you don't like him that way, yeah, probably," Dorcas nodded.

"He doesn't like _me_ that way either, though. We're just fooling around. No one is leading anyone on or anything," Marlene said, shaking her head.

"You don't think he's cute?" Emmeline asked.

"I mean, he's good-looking but it's in an… I dunno, obvious kind of way?" Marlene said.

"Ah yes, I hate obvious beauty," Dorcas said sarcastically. "I want it to sneak up on me."

"I mean, like, he's just… that pretty boy that everyone has a crush on because he's got nice hair. I dunno, I want more grit, I guess. Plus, I'm _really_ not into eyeliner," Marlene said.

"Into it enough to snog him," Dorcas teased. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"My eyes were closed, I didn't have to look at it," Marlene snorted. "Emmeline can have a go, she likes eyeliner."

Emmeline turned red. "W-What?"

"He _is_ into that androgynous rock and roll thing you're always swooning over," Dorcas observed.

"But you can do _much_ better than Sirius Black," Marlene giggled.

Emmeline nervously laughed along. "Yeah… sure…"

"Yeah, so can you, Marlene," Dorcas smiled.

Lisa from Ravenclaw walked over, pointing to the vacant chair beside Dorcas. "Are you using that?"

"Yeah, Lily's gonna be a little late, we said we'd save her a spot," Dorcas said.

"Damn, we're running out of room in here," Lisa said, walking off. The girls turned around to see how much of the classroom had filled in while they were talking. Most of their year was here, save for the Slytherins that seemed content to hang out in their common room to study with Severus.

"Evans can always sit on my lap!" James called over. He, Sirius, and Peter were still lingering near the front of the class. They were likely going to stay there and harass Remus throughout the designated time for this study group.

"Pretty sure she'd rather sit in syrup but we'll let her know you were thinking of her, James," Marlene said.

"Do you want to sit at an actual table?" Remus said to his friends, gesturing to where the others were all trying to find somewhere to sit.

"No, not at all, we're good here," Sirius said, hoisting himself atop the instructor's desk at the front. James settled into the chair at said desk.

"No one is going to learn anything with you here, are they?" Remus sighed.

"How will that be different from MacPherson's class?" Peter shrugged, pushing another chair near the desk and taking a seat.

"Fair, I guess. Let's just get through the homework assignment," Remus said, shuffling through notes on said desk. He unceremoniously shoved Sirius off of it when he realized the dark-haired boy was sitting on some of his notes. Sirius flailed his arms and somehow managed to land on his feet rather than tumble onto the floor, leaving other students snickering.

" _Rude,"_ Sirius said.

"It's my classroom, Mr. Black, if you don't like it you can get out," Remus said in an official tone of voice.

"Professor Lupin's kind of a berk, yeah?" Sirius said to James.

"Hey, don't talk about Professor Lupin that way!" James said, feigning outrage.

"Oi," Remus said, stepping back to where he would be able to better address the class, "Shut up for a minute."

"Better be quiet, Professor Lupin will give you detention," Peter said scandalously.

"I _do_ have the power to put you in detention," Remus reminded them, pointing to his prefect badge. James and Sirius laughed. Remus sighed, pulling out his wand and pointing it at his friends. _"Silencio."_

James, Peter, and Sirius began miming outrage at Remus for doing such a thing. The class giggled as Remus ignored them entirely and Sirius began using lewd hand gestures at his back.

"Okay, so let's get started. I figured we would address what MacPherson was trying to go over in class and walk through how exactly we should be doing this assignment he gave us," Remus said.

"Yeah, can you explain what he was trying to say with the whole Louis XVI thing?" Gerald asked.

"I honestly have no idea, I _think_ he might have had intentions of going over spells that were used by and against the resistance in the French Revolution but he went off on a tangent and suddenly we were discussing carriages?" Remus shrugged.

"He treats this shit like a history class, it's really annoying," Amy from Hufflepuff said.

"A really inaccurate history class," Lisa added.

"Yeah, basically. So, we'll review the spells used to dismantle guillotines, the spells used to protect guillotines from said dismantling spells, and the spells they used both to behead their opponents and protect themselves from attempts at beheading," Remus said, ticking these things off his fingers.

"There's a spell to keep you from being beheaded?" Dorcas said.

"Yeah, but it sounds almost exactly the same as the spell to behead someone so a lot of people beheaded themselves by accident," Remus said. Half the class cringed.

"See, this is interesting, which is probably why we didn't go over it in class," Marlene said.

Remus smiled. "Probably."

The door creaked open and Lily slipped inside, smiling sheepishly and giving Remus a nervous wave.

"So the magic and non-magic governments of France weren't all that different at the time, I mean, the wizards didn't have a king and queen but the people they _did_ have in charge were sort of arse—Sirius cut it out," Remus said as Sirius had been mirroring all of Remus' motions while standing right behind him.

"What have I missed?" Lily whispered to her friends as she took her seat and began digging through her bag for a quill and parchment to take notes.

"Beheading," Emmeline whispered.

"Also Marlene and Sirius snogged earlier," Dorcas said.

"You need to quit it, Marlene, it's not gonna lead anywhere good," Lily said, seemingly less surprised than Dorcas and Emmeline had been to hear this news.

"Yeah, yeah, Remus is teaching us about beheading, shhh," Marlene said, surprisingly having already taken quite a few notes.

Lily rolled her eyes with a smile before returning her attention to Remus, pleased to have an excuse to be staring.


	10. Speechless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, happy weekend if you're fortunate enough to have the weekend off! This chapter's on the short side, do forgive me, we're transitioning a bit into the next one. Hopefully you still enjoy it, leave me a comment to let me know!

" _She looks nauseous, maybe we shouldn't have made her do this."_

* * *

 

**Chapter Ten: Speechless**

* * *

 

"Okay, Emmeline, are you ready for your first lesson in talking to people?" Marlene said. It was dinner, and the girls had settled with Dorcas at the Hufflepuff table.

"I can talk to people," Emmeline frowned. "Just… not new people. Or very, very attractive boys. Or at all in high pressure situations."

"That's why we want to help, so you can talk in all of those instances," Lily said.

"I… guess that'd be nice," Emmeline mumbled.

"And that's why we're at the Hufflepuff table, it's friendly and no pressure," Dorcas nodded.

"All you have to do is talk to new people enough and you'll have nothing to be afraid of anymore. It's like when you had me hold Bruno and Boris to get over my fear of rats," Marlene said.

"But I don't want to face my fears," Emmeline said, very focused on her salad. "I want to wallow in them and live out my life in a moderately priced apartment with a dozen dogs to keep me company."

"No landlord will let you have that many dogs," Lily pointed out.

"Plus, cats are better," said Marlene.

"Cats are okay, but have you ever met a dog?" Emmeline said.

"Yes, and I left covered in hair and drool," Marlene said.

"That means that dog probably loved you," Emmeline sighed.

"Dogs also can't help you pay rent," Dorcas said.

"Look, we've already picked someone for you to talk to," Lily said, pointing down the table. "Just walk over and say hello to Jake."

"Why Jake?" Emmeline asked, glancing his way. He was a friendly, good-looking sixth year.

"Because he's handsome, but not like intimidating levels of handsome, and to our knowledge you've never spoken to him," Marlene explained.

"And he's really nice!" Dorcas said. "So all you have to do is talk to this unintimidating person and you'll be one interaction better at this."

"So, I just go up to this person I've never talked to and say 'hi,'" Emmeline said.

"Yes," Dorcas nodded.

"And then what? I'll just be a random stranger saying hi for no reason!" Emmeline said.

"Introduce yourself, then you're not a random person," Lily said.

"Tell him you like his new haircut," Marlene suggested.

"But I don't," Emmeline said, glancing his way again.

"Really? I think it's nice," Marlene shrugged.

"Tell him that Marlene likes his new haircut," said Dorcas.

"No, don't do that," Marlene shook her head.

"Look, we've got something for you to talk about, too," Lily said, pulling a textbook from her bag. "He left this in the library, go give it back to him."

"What if he thinks I stalked him and stole it to have an excuse to talk to him?" Emmeline frowned.

"No one would jump to that conclusion, Em, now go, you can do this," Dorcas encouraged.

"I don't want to, I can't," Emmeline sighed.

"What's the worst that can happen? And don't say 'dinosaur noises,'" Lily said, setting the book into Emmeline's arms.

"I mean, the worst thing is probably that he'll think you're weird, and you are, so it'll be okay," Marlene said.

"It's just baby steps. Say hello, introduce yourself, give him the book, come back here. You'll be done in two minutes, tops," Dorcas said.

Emmeline whined softly, looking down at the book with a frown. She took a deep breath and stood up, her grip so tight on the book that her knuckles were white.

Marlene, Lily, and Dorcas watched as Emmeline took slow, cautious steps toward Jake, who was deep in conversation with another Hufflepuff about Quidditch. With each step, she grew more and more pale.

"She looks nauseous, maybe we shouldn't have made her do this," Dorcas whispered.

"She can talk to people, it's just new people she has a hard time with. Once she survives this, she'll have concrete evidence that she can do it," Lily reasoned.

Emmeline got to where Jake sat and with a gulp, kept walking a few paces further, taking deep breaths as she went. After allowing herself a few extra steps to collect herself, she turned around, glancing at Jake briefly before looking back to her friends that were still watching. They each gave her a thumbs up and she approached the boy again.

With a trembling hand, she reached forward and tapped the boy's shoulder. He turned to face her. "Hello," he said pleasantly.

"Hi," Emmeline squeaked. They simply watched each other for what felt like much too long, Emmeline's eyes wide and her face pale.

"Er, can I help you?" Jake asked.

"Uh…" Emmeline said, holding the book out to him. His eyes lit up in recognition.

"My potions book! I wondered where it went, thank you," Jake said, taking the book from here. "Where'd you find it?"

Emmeline swallowed and looked everywhere but in Jake's eyes. "The… the um… the book place."

"Do you mean the library?"

She nodded quickly.

"Well, that makes sense, I must've left it there when I went for tutoring. Thank you again!"

Emmeline nodded again before dashing back to where her friends were sitting without another word. Her hands were still trembling, her breathing heavy.

"You did it, Em," Dorcas said, gently rubbing the girl's back.

"It was a disaster," Emmeline whined.

"Hey, you had three goals: say hello, introduce yourself, return the book," Marlene said. "You did two-out-of-three."

"And not a single sad dinosaur noise," Lily said.

"But if you don't want to do this again, you don't have to," Dorcas said.

"No, no, I need to learn to _do_ this. I don't know why it's so hard for me," Emmeline said, tears wetting her eyes. Dorcas pulled her into a hug.

"Lots of people have trouble with this, it's okay," the Hufflepuff said.

"I don't think you'd get this upset, Em, I'm sorry," Lily said with a frown. Emmeline shook her head.

"I don't know why this," Emmeline said, gesturing to her teary eyes, "Is happening. I think I'm just mad that I can't do this and—and so frustrated that my brain doesn't know what else to do. So, tears."

"You just _did_ do this! It was awkward, yeah, but you did talk to a stranger," Marlene said.

"I sounded like an idiot," Emmeline said, setting her head on the table near her plate in defeat.

"No… you sounded _terrified,"_ Lily said, reaching to gently pat the girl's head.

"Maybe we're going about this wrong, maybe you shouldn't talk," Dorcas said.

"But talking is the problem," Marlene said.

"No, maybe freaking out about the other person and their potential reaction is," said Dorcas. "Em, you love singing, yeah?"

"Are you suggesting I walk up to a random person and sing them a greeting?" Emmeline asked, head still on the table. "Because I feel like that's _more_ awkward."

"No, but it makes you feel good, right?" Dorcas said.

"Sure?" Emmeline said, confused.

"I saw a notice that Flitwick is holding auditions for solos for the Christmas performances you guys do here and in Hogsmeade," Dorcas said.

"Oh, there you go! Try out for that, it's more in your comfort zone, yeah?" Marlene said.

"I'm okay singing in choir because it's a group," Emmeline said. "Singing solo is a whole different beast."

"But you write songs, don't you sing those solo?" Lily asked.

"Yes. To Bruno and Boris, not to people that can judge me about it. Bruno and Boris have no idea what makes a good song or not," Emmeline sighed. "Besides, Pam always gets the solos."

"Yeah, because you never try out. You're better than she is," Marlene said.

"When I auditioned for choir in the first place, I barely got through my song and thanking Professor Flitwick for letting me audition before I ran straight for the nearest washroom to vomit," Emmeline said, sitting upright again. "It was the boy's washroom."

"Okay, so audition tomorrow and we'll wait outside for you with a bucket," Lily said.

"Pam's gonna get it anyway, what's the point?" Emmeline said.

"To prove you can do it," Marlene said. "And if Pam really is guaranteed the solo, hey, less pressure."

"Flitwick always brings some of his old choir buddies to help judge," Emmeline cringed.

"So, if you can get through singing in front of some strangers, you can definitely talk to them right? It'd be way less scary," Dorcas said.

"So try out," Lily said.

"Fine. But I'm holding you to that bucket thing," Emmeline sighed.

"Well, Marlene and Lily can be there, I have Quidditch practice tomorrow," Dorcas said. "I'll be holding your hair back in spirit, Vance."

* * *

 

The rat scurried along the length of the entrance hall, dragging a bit of measuring tape along with him the entire way. Once he reached the far wall, he stopped, holding the tape taut.

At the other end was Sirius, holding his wand, the tip of which was feeding the measuring tape. Hunched over and tucked beneath James' invisibility cloak, he softly read out the measurement to James, also under the cloak and scribbling notes onto a clipboard.

Remus was off patrolling, and had promised to try and discourage any professor he might run into from heading for the ground floor. With these last few measurements, they would have everything they needed to finish mapping out the first four floors of the castle.

"I think we're good," James whispered, looking over his notes again. "We'll start the dungeons next time Moony is scheduled to patrol it."

"Sounds good," Sirius said, giving the magical measuring tape two swift tugs to indicate to Wormtail that they had all the measurements they needed. Wormtail tightened his grip on the measuring tape and Sirius mumbled the countercurse.

The tape began disappearing into his wand, tugging Wormtail along the castle floor on his belly as it went. The rat let go as soon as he, too, was safely beneath the invisibility cloak. James carefully picked him up and set him on his shoulder as Sirius pocketed his wand.

"Back to the dorm, then?" James said.

"I guess. I ought to finish Flitwick's essay at _some_ point," Sirius said with a heavy sigh. "It's not that late, seems like a waste."

"Eh, we'll bother Moony on the way," James shrugged.

Sirius nodded, transforming into Padfoot shortly after to fit under the cloak better. They started in the direction of the grand staircase. After taking perhaps two steps passed the great hall, Padfoot paused, ears twitching. He tiled his head and glanced back at the door.

"Hear something?" James whispered. Padfoot and Wormtail both nodded. They carefully approached the door and Sirius nudged it ajar with his nose. Wormtail climbed atop James' head to get a better view as they glanced through the small opening.

Upbeat music was playing softly from a portable record player set atop one of the tables. In the open area between the door and the tables, Lily and Dorcas moved gracefully around each other, grinning ear-to-ear.

Turns and leaps and jumps, it was clear that this was a routine they had gone over before. They had each ditched their uniforms, having changed into clothes that were far more colorful and allowed more movement. Sweat glistened at their brows. How long had they been at it tonight?

Lily stumbled slightly, falling out of time with Dorcas. She paused, watching the other girl a moment, softly counting beneath her breath before jumping right back in.

After a few more flourishing spins, the girls slid to the ground as the song came to an end. They caught their breath as the record player echoed a few crackles and pops, signaling that this side was complete.

"I keep messing up that jetté battu," Lily groaned, standing up and attempting just that move and stumbling again.

Dorcas walked to the record player and lifted the needle, setting it off to the side. "Try it slower."

Lily sighed, trying the same move, but slower. Again, she stumbled. Dorcas came up beside her and slowly performed the same move.

"Show-off," Lily teased. Dorcas simply grinned. Lily tried again, and stumbled again. "I'm out of practice."

"Hey, did you leave the door open?" Dorcas asked, approaching it.

"I don't think so," Lily said. James and Padfoot took a step back as Dorcas came closer. "Hopefully Mr. Bertram wasn't lurking around."

"You got a note from Slughorn," Dorcas said.

"We should probably still get going soon, though," Lily said as Dorcas closed the door. James cast Padfoot a mischievous smirk that the dog returned.

James reached forward and pushed the door open again. Dorcas had barely taken a few paces away from it when she turned at the creaking of the hinges.

"Maybe this door just doesn't know how to be a door," she said, stepping back and closing it again.

This time, Padfoot batted at the door with his paw, swinging it open wide. James grabbed a fistful of the cloak to keep it from sliding off them all in the motion. Wormtail clung to strands of James' hair to keep steady.

"Peeves, if that's you, I'm getting the Baron," Lily called, approaching the door and cautiously looking around the area for the poltergeist.

Softly, James and Padfoot took a few steps to the side and Padfoot nudged the second door open as well.

"Okay, Hogwarts," Dorcas said, throwing her hands in the air. "Even after four years, you can still find ways to creep me out. You win!"

James pulled out his wand and pointed at the record player, whispering a spell softly under his breath. The needle fell into place at the outer edge of the record and began to play.

"Seriously, Peeves," Lily called, attempting to sound threatening.

"This is pretty mundane for Peeves," Dorcas said. "Mundane, but creepy."

James gave his wand another flick and whispered another spell, leaving a cold gust of wind to flit through the hall. He held tight to the cloak as the gust left the candles in the hall extinguished.

"Yeah, I'm _over_ our school actually being haunted," Dorcas sighed, sliding the record out of the player and carefully back into its sleeve.

"Yeah, it does get annoying fast," Lily said, illuminating the tip of her wand. She closed the lid of the record player and fastened the latches with her free hand.

James smiled and mumbled another spell. The latches popped open. Another spell, a bench at the table swiftly slid to the side, screeching loudly against the floor as it went. Lily and Dorcas jumped at the sudden movement and noise.

"Fuck this," Dorcas scowled.

"Let's go to bed," Lily said, quickly fastening the latches again and grabbing the handle of the record player. A label on the back was slightly torn off, the remainder reading, "nia Evans."

"I'm not gonna be able to sleep with this horror movie shit going on," Dorcas said.

"You'll be fine, it's probably Peeves," Lily said, though James wasn't sure she believed that.

"No, I won't, Lily! I'm black, have you ever _seen_ a horror movie?" Dorcas said, handing the redhead the record. At James' urging, another bench slid across the floor. Dorcas took Lily by the arm and dragged her out of the room.

"Maybe you can tell Peeves or the monster or whoever you think is doing this that you're only half black," Lily suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

"Great, maybe I'll only be half-killed, thanks, Mum," Dorcas said sarcastically.

"Whoever's doing this isn't gonna kill you," Lily said, the pair walking past the three Marauders and none the wiser of this fact. "If they wanted you dead, then why would they move furniture around first?"

"For dramatic flair! We're catching you up on horror movies next holiday," said Dorcas.

"Happy Christmas to me," Lily snorted.

"It's important you know such valuable skills as, 'not running _up_ the stairs to get away from the killer,' you know, basic, life-saving stuff," Dorcas said.

"That's stupid, who would do that?" Lily said.

There were several loud, metallic clanks, leaving the girls jumping in fright again, as well as James and Padfoot. Wormtail fell from his perch and James hastily caught him.

"What the hell, I'm not doing that," James mumbled as the clanks became louder, echoing off the walls.

"Remember, don't run upstairs," Dorcas said, tightening her grip on Lily's arm. Lily cautiously raised her wand. James did the same, prepared to cast the cloak aside and come to their aid.

Two suits of armor turned the corner, their footsteps causing the noise. Lily and Dorcas sighed in relief. James' shoulders relaxed.

"Evening, fair maidens!" echoed voices said, the armor tipping their helmets.

"Yeah, good evening."

"Hello."

The armor went along their way, still loud as they went.

"I hate this school sometimes," Dorcas said.

"Come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm, _down_ the stairs," Lily smiled.

"You should just stay in my dorm with me, it will probably be safer," Dorcas said, linking arms with Lily as they started down the stairs toward the dungeons.

As soon as they were out of earshot, James said, "Well, that was productive. Let's go scare Moony, now."

* * *

 

The door to the choir room creaked open and Emmeline stepped outside, being mindful not to slam it. Lily and Marlene stood nearby, Marlene holding a bucket they'd borrowed from Hagrid earlier. Emmeline looked pale, but relieved, and walked over to meet them.

"How'd it go?" Lily asked. "I'm sorry we weren't here before you went in, we were still on our way up here after getting the bucket."

"Hagrid invited us for tea once you're done here," Marlene added, holding the bucket in her direction.

"I think it went okay," Emmeline gulped. "I remembered all the words, anyway. I didn't end up singing really fast to get through it or anything, at least I don't think."

"That's good!" Lily nodded. "How many of Flitwick's old choir friends were there?"

"Just two. They were all very encouraging," Emmeline said. She took the bucket from Marlene. "I don't think I'll need this, actually."

"Great!" Marlene said. "I was hoping you wouldn't, I tend to sympathy vomit."

"I was hoping I wouldn't either," Emmeline smiled.

"Emmeline!" The girls turned to see the slim, blonde Pam Barnes walking their way. She was in sixth year, another Ravenclaw. "What're you doing here?"

"Er, hi Pam. I'm, uh, auditioning," Emmeline said, looking exceptionally uncomfortable.

" _Oh!_ Well, good for you," Pam said with a smile so large it felt quite forced. "You haven't tried out before, have you?"

"No, no, this is the first time," Emmeline said.

"How many solos are there?" Lily asked.

"Three, but the one everyone wants this year is _O Holy Night_ , it's the longest one," Pam said matter-of-factly. _"I_ get it every year that we perform it, sometimes Flitwick gives me _Joy to the World,_ too, but he switched that one out this year. Maybe you'll get _Away in a Manger,_ Emmeline."

"The short one?" Emmeline said.

"I think you'd do best with that one out of all of them, honestly," Pam shrugged. "But also, I know Lizzie was going to try out and she would do great with it too, so really, who knows? Not everyone can get a solo, after all, so don't feel bad if you don't get one."

"I'm sure you won't feel bad if you don't get one either," Marlene said with a similar exaggerated smile to the one Pam wore.

"Oh, I always get one," Pam said, waving Marlene's comment away.

"Well, I mean, maybe Flitwick will go in a different direction this year," Lily said dryly.

"Why mess with a good thing?" Pam smiled. "Besides, these auditions they're… well, they're hardly competition, you know?"

"No, I don't," Marlene said.

"Emmeline knows, don't you? No one very serious ever really tries out, it's just a formality," Pam said. "But don't think I mean to belittle your abilities, Emmeline. I train with a professional coach over the holidays, of course, but that doesn't diminish your skills."

"So, wait, what _are_ you trying to do, then?" Marlene said, a frown now fixed to her face and her brow furrowed.

"I'm just making conversation," Pam said. "Do _you_ do outside training, Emmeline?"

"Er, no, during holidays I work at my mother's restaurant," Emmeline said, lips pursed.

"Oh, well that's good too! You'll have a well-rounded resume," Pam nodded. "I mean, for some of us, singing is a fun hobby and for others, it's a serious passion. It's like that with any craft, really."

"I'm plenty serious about singing—" Emmeline started.

"Of course you are! And it's great that you decided to try out for a solo, I just don't want you to get your hopes up," Pam said, patting Emmeline on the shoulder sympathetically. "Also, why on earth do you have a bucket?"

"Um," Emmeline said, glancing down at said bucket.

"Why don't _you_ have a bucket?" Marlene asked.

"You, um, you should really take it, actually," Emmeline said hesitantly, holding it out to the other girl. "For, uh, for your audition."

"Why on earth would I need it for my audition?" Pam asked, eying the object in confusion.

Emmeline cleared her throat briefly before stating, dryly, "Maybe with this you'll be able to carry a tune."

Lily and Marlene covered their mouths, though they were unable to hide the laughter that was spilling from their lips.

Pam's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to respond when the choir door opened again and Professor Flitwick stepped outside. "Miss Barnes, you're up!"

Pam scowled, turning her heel, her hair flaring behind her, and marched after Flitwick. The door clicked shut behind her and Emmeline groaned. _"Merlin's beard, I hate Pam Barnes."_

"That was so far out, Em," Marlene said, still laughing. "The look on her face!"

"How can you do that but you can hardly talk to Jake?" Lily said.

"I've, er, I've wanted to say that to Pam since first year, honestly," Emmeline said with a nervous smile. "She's just never been that much of a bitch directly _to_ me."

"You never threatened her chances of getting a solo before," Lily said.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll still get _O Holy Night_ and continue her reign as queen of the choir," Emmeline sighed, rolling her eyes. "But at least I got through the audition."

"You did! And no amount of Pam Barnes being a pretentious bitch will take that away from you," Marlene said.

"Or the fact that you're still a great singer even without all the extra training she has," Lily said.

"She started taking outside lessons like two years ago and got even more obnoxious than she was before and she sounds _exactly the same_ ," Emmeline sighed. "And then she kept bragging about singing at one of the Minister's private parties or something which the rest of us are sure is a lie."

"Oh, I hope you get that solo," Marlene said. "And if not you, literally anyone else but Pam."

"I don't think I'll get the solo," Emmeline said, glancing down. "At least I have this bucket."

"Until we return it to Hagrid, anyway," Lily said.

"Oh, yeah, let's go do that," said Marlene. "I think he'd appreciate hearing about what you said to Pam, he was saying that he hoped she didn't get the solo this year when we told him why we needed to borrow the bucket."

"To tea with Hagrid!" Lily said cheerfully.

"To tea with Hagrid," Emmeline said, walking along with the other girls, bucket dangling by her side.


	11. Bleed Like Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darker chapter this time, and posting a little later than usual, today was super busy. Let me know what you think of this one!

_Lily made a face as she grew closer to the lavatory and found water spilling into the corridor. Other students winced as Myrtle let out a particularly loud wail but otherwise kept walking, going about their business._

* * *

Emmeline buried her head in her arms, rested on the surface of the Ravenclaw table. Her coffee had since gone cold and to unknowing passerbys, she was likely sleeping.

"Em. Emmeline. Hey, Vance," Marlene said, gently nudging the girl in the side, knowing full well that she was not sleeping. Emmeline whined in response. "What's up?"

Emmeline whined again.

"We can't help if you don't tell us what's wrong," Lily said, smearing jam on her toast.

"No one can help me, I'm doomed," came Emmeline's voice, muffled against the wood.

"Is that mean spirit after _you_ now?" Dorcas asked.

"I told you, it was probably just Peeves," Marlene said.

"I'm still suspicious," Dorcas said.

"I ran into Flitwick on the way here," Emmeline said, lifting her head slightly. "He was putting up the list of people that got solos."

"Ooh," Dorcas said apologetically.

"Well, you kinda figured you wouldn't get it right? Trying out was just to prove you could handle trying out. Maybe next time," Marlene said, her tone encouraging.

"No," Emmeline shook her head.

"You got through the audition without vomiting, you did really well," Lily nodded. "You're not doomed."

"No, you don't get it," Emmeline said. "I _got one."_

"Oh! That's great!" Dorcas said.

"No, it's not, I have to sing by myself in front of the whole school," Emmeline said.

"You'll do great," Lily said.

"You _saw_ me trying to _talk_ to Jake," Emmeline said dryly.

"And we saw you tell off Pam," Lily said.

"I'm still so upset I missed that," Dorcas pouted.

"Besides, you'll be rehearsed this time; you have like two months to practice," Marlene said. "And once you get through this, talking to people will not be scary anymore."

" _If_ I get through this," Emmeline said, burying her head in her hands.

"Morning," said a worn-out looking Remus as he approached, mug in hand.

"Morning Remus," Lily said. Marlene and Dorcas cast her knowing glances. Emmeline would have done the same if she were not right in the middle of mentally catastrophizing.

"May I?" he asked, gesturing to the nearby coffee pot. Emmeline nodded. "Thank you, Gryffindor coffee isn't gonna do it today."

"Anytime," Emmeline sighed.

"You okay?" he asked. Emmeline groaned again, setting her head back on the table.

"She got a solo in the choir's Christmas performances," Dorcas explained.

"Oh. Well, that's good, isn't it?" Remus asked.

"I just wanted to see if I'd get through the audition, I didn't think I'd get it," Emmeline said into the table.

"Well, no one's gonna cry over Pam having to take a seat for a few minutes," Marlene said softly.

"Yeah, they'll be too busy laughing at me making—" Emmeline started. Lily cut her off.

" _Do not say 'sad dinosaur noises!'"_

"Distressed whale noises, then," Emmeline said.

"What do you have to sing?" Remus asked.

" _O Holy Night._ I'm not even religious, why did I do this to myself?" Emmeline groaned, lifting her head again but slightly.

"To help your confidence and prove to yourself that you could," Dorcas said. "You can _do this."_

"Looks like you're gonna have to deal with the consequences of having a talent, Em," Remus said, patting her head gently, sympathetically. "Just don't overshoot trying to be confident and go into James territory and you'll be fine."

"I don't think two egos that large can coexist in the same place," Lily said.

"Try to be a fraction of the confident that James is," Marlene said.

"WWJD, what would James do?" Dorcas snickered.

"Are you suggesting I get up there and pretend to be James Potter to get through this?" Emmeline said.

"If it works," Marlene shrugged.

"Pretend to be Sirius, he's got a better voice," Remus suggested. "Or Bowie."

"What about me and Bowie?" Sirius said, coming up behind Remus and reaching for the coffee pot.

"Telling Emmeline to pretend she's Bowie; she got a choir solo," Remus said.

"Oh, congrats, I think we're all sick of Pam," Sirius said, pouring himself some coffee. Emmeline forced a nervous smile, cheeks burning red. "Moony, we need you back at the Gryffindor table."

"What did you do?" Remus sighed.

"I didn't do anything, Peter's talking about dying his hair again."

"What color now?"

"Red, like, bright red."

The girls cringed at the idea of Peter with red hair. _"Exactly,"_ Sirius said.

"All right, I'm coming. I'm sure you'll do fine, Em, the anticipation will probably be way worse than the performance," Remus said encouragingly. Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas murmured in agreement before Remus followed Sirius back to the Gryffindor table.

"I hope you guys are right," said Emmeline.

"We can help you practice with smaller groups if that'll help," Lily suggested. "Work your way up to a bigger crowd."

"Maybe. I don't know, when will we even have time?" Emmeline sighed.

"Oh, the Quidditch match next month! There'll be a party after we win," Marlene said. "Maybe we can set up a… what do muggles call it? Carol Oakley?"

"What?" Dorcas said, baffled.

"You know where you get drunk and sing along to songs," Marlene said.

"Karaoke?" Lily said.

"Yes, that. Come by, get buzzed, and sing a little," Marlene suggested.

"I don't know. I'm always the sober friend," Emmeline sighed.

"Well, you're always singing in a group, too, time to change both those things," Marlene grinned.

Emmeline frowned. "Well… I guess."

* * *

Charms had just let out, which meant that it was the best part of the school day: lunch. Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas left class side-by-side, continuing the conversation they had started in class.

"So, if I keep up about the same number of students in tutoring, keep doing odd jobs for the professors, and then adding in the three galleons Alice is giving me to add pockets to her skirts… I _should_ have enough to get the sneakoscope by Christmas," Lily said. "So, I hope you're all looking forward to homemade Christmas gifts."

"I like homemade gifts," Dorcas said.

"I hope 'homemade' implies 'baked,'" Marlene said with the most charming smile she could manage.

" _Maybe,"_ Lily said in a sing-song voice.

"Well, I always make everyone fudge, so, hopefully we all get stretchy clothes for Christmas as well," Dorcas smiled. Once they reached the staircase and started down, they clearly heard the sound of wailing echoing off the walls.

"Moaning Myrtle seems more upset than usual," Dorcas observed.

"I wonder what happened?" Lily said, raising her voice to be heard above the sobs.

"Maybe she got a choir solo, too," Marlene said.

" _Marlene."_

"What? It's a joke!"

" _LET'S DEFACE UGLY MOANING MYRTLE'S WASHROOM! SHE'S DEAD! SHE WON'T MIND! I WANT IT GONE, I WANT IT GONE, I WANT IT GONE!"_

"Someone probably drew a cartoon penis on one of the stalls or something," Marlene said.

"I'd better check it out," Lily said, stepping on to the second floor landing.

"The perks of being a prefect," Marlene teased.

"You're welcome to come along," said Lily.

Marlene and Dorcas exchanged glances.

"I'm kind of had my fill of ghosts, you know?" Dorcas said.

"It's _lunch,"_ Marlene said.

"Fine, I'll deal with an emotionally unstable ghost _all alone_ ," Lily said with a sigh.

"All right, we're coming," Dorcas said, slumping her shoulders as she went.

"Hate to not live up to the 'girls always go to the bathroom in groups' stereotype," Marlene said.

Lily made a face as she grew closer to the lavatory and found water spilling into the corridor. Other students winced as Myrtle let out a particularly loud wail but otherwise kept walking, going about their business.

Footsteps leaving ripples in the water, Lily approached the door and knocked.

"Really?" Marlene said.

"Courtesy," Dorcas said.

"Myrtle?" Lily called, cautiously pushing open the door. "Myrtle, what's—ahh!"

The three living girls jumped back as Moaning Myrtle swiftly emerged from the floor, wailing the whole way.

" _HAVE YOU COME TO ADD MORE SLURS?"_ she screamed. _"WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALL ME? A MUGGLE WHORE? A SCUMSUCKER?"_

"Whoa, Myrtle, what are you talking about?" Marlene shouted, hands covering her ears.

" _OR PERHAPS YOU'LL STICK WITH MUDBLOOD!"_ Myrtle cried. The girls cringed at the word and the doors of the stalls began slamming open and closed. _"STICK WITH THE CLASSICS!"_

"Myrtle, what happened?" Lily yelled. "Let us help!"

" _THAT! SOMEONE DID_ THAT _WHILE I WAS HAUNTING THE FIFTH FLOOR TOILETS,"_ Myrtle said, silvery tears streaming down her cheeks as she pointed to the sinks.

The girls walked over to find red letters on the mirrors, since broken from Myrtle's tantrum. Even with the cracks spiderwebbing through the letters, it was all too easy to read.

_**DIE MUDBLOOD SCUM!** _

Lily stared the words down, tracing every letter with her green eyes. Her stomach turned as the meaning sank into her.

"What the _hell,"_ Dorcas said. Lily glanced her way and found she looked as queasy as the redhead felt.

Marlene approached the mirror, doing her best to avoid the stream of water from the sink. She set a finger gently to one of the letters, smearing it a bit and leaving red on her skin.

"It's just lipstick, Myrtle, don't worry, it'll come off," Marlene said.

Myrtle wasn't listening. _"WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO RESPECT FOR THE DEAD? I WANT IT GONE, I WANT IT GONE, I WANT IT GONE!"_

"I guess the symbol in Flitwick's class was too subtle," Dorcas sneered.

"If the same person even did this," Lily said. Her eyes were glued to the red, to the M-U-D-B-L-O-O-D.

"You guys okay? Whoever did this is a loser, all right? A total prat, no one with an ounce of class uses that word, much less writes it on a bathroom mirror," Marlene said, her gaze jumping between her two friends.

"It's so—it's gross! Are we supposed to—to just constantly be reminded? We can't even piss anymore?" Dorcas said, her trembling hands clenched in fists at her side.

"We need to tell Dumbledore—or McGonagall—or—just—we need to report this," Lily said.

"What are they going to do? The Junior Death Eaters don't care, they made their point," Dorcas said, gesturing to the words.

"We still need to report it," Lily said, her voice small and barely audible over Myrtle's hysterics.

"I'll get Dumbledore," Marlene said. She gently approached each of her friends and gave them cautious hugs. "Whoever did this? They're cowards. They write shit in bathrooms to feel important. They believe they're better than others by virtue of their birth because they have nothing else to offer. No talent. No joy. No ambition. Just hate. Hate disguised as a cause."

"It just never ends," Dorcas said.

Lily said nothing. Dorcas' nausea had settled into rage. Lily's was still intact.

"I'll be back but maybe you guys should go—" Marlene started.

"I'll waiting for Dumbledore," Lily said.

"I'll stay," Dorcas said. "In case those bigots decide to come add some more while you're gone. Let them face me."

Marlene nodded, stepping between them and toward the door. "Myrtle! Myrtle, try to calm down! I'm getting Dumbledore!"

" _I WON'T CALM DOWN! LET THE CASTLE LIVE WITH MY DEAD MUDBLOOD RAGE! I'M DEAD BUT I'M NOT GONE! YOU HEAR ME?"_ Myrtle cried as Marlene stepped outside.

"Myrtle? Myrtle, girl, it's okay, let it out," Dorcas sighed, finally unclenching her fists and walking over to the stall Myrtle was currently sobbing in. "Do you want to _talk_ about it? I understand why you're upset, I am too, I'd like to clobber whoever did this."

Myrtle's word dissolved into hacking sobs as Dorcas spoke with her. Lily heard their voices but couldn't recall what they said mere seconds ago. She was rooted to the spot, unable to look away.

She remembered the first time someone called her that. She was in her first year and saw Lucius Malfoy, one of the Slytherin prefects, boasting about his new racing broom to a group of girls. She joined the group, eager to soak up all the magic information she could.

"What's a snitch?" she had asked. Severus had mentioned Quidditch, but he hadn't explained it much beyond it being a sport played on broomsticks.

The others looked at her as though she had grown a second head. The blonde, gorgeous, and _mean_ Narcissa Black, hanging from Lucius' arm, laughed and said, "What's a snitch? What are _you,_ a mudblood?"

The others erupted into laughter at this. Lily had simply been confused. At the look on her face, Lucius had remarked, "Look at that vacant expression. She _is_ a mudblood."

As Lily left the group, feeling baffled and humiliated, she heard taunts of, "Run away, stupid little mudblood! Run away to your filthy muggle mummy!"

It was only when she asked her roommates that night that she found out the full extent of what exactly she had been called.

" _Stupid little mudblood! Stupid Little mudblood!"_

" _Freak! You're a freak!"_

" _Look at that vacant expression! She_ is _a mudblood!"_

" _Mudblood!"_

" _Mudblood!"_

" _Freak!"_

" _Mudblood!"_

Lily watched the shattered reflection of her face in the second "O" in the word that echoed through her brain. When had she started crying?

She thought of what Dorcas said. _It just never ends._

If they didn't belong with the muggles, being too freakish to fit in, and didn't belong with the wizards, being to impure… where were they supposed to go?

When did it end?

* * *

Lily stared blankly at the numbers on her potions scales, quill in hand, prepared to write her observations as she progressed with her potion.

But she hadn't progressed with her potion.

Severus was writing in the margins of his textbook, as he always did, his potion simmering for the time being.

"You okay?" he asked, eyes still to the textbook pages. "You've re-weighed those beetle brains at least three times now."

Lily sighed, setting her quill down at last.

"My mind's just not here today," she said. "I'm still shaken from earlier."

"What, the washroom thing? Don't let it get to you," Severus said, watching his potion critically before giving it another stir.

"It's hard," Lily said. "Just _seeing_ the word made me, like, nauseous."

"It was just some idiots writing something stupid in the bathroom," Severus said. He jerked his head back, gesturing to James and Sirius's seats in the very back of the class. They were snickering over some inside joke or another. Remus was nearby, his smile tight-lipped to keep from laughing aloud, his gazed focused on his cauldron. Peter's head was on his desk, and he shook from silent laughter. _"Some_ idiots wrote in the boy's washroom that I had a microscopic—well, it doesn't matter."

Marlene, who sat at Lily's other side, snorted. Severus narrowed his eyes.

"The point is that people write stupid things thinking they're funny, don't freak out about it," Severus said.

"Whoever wrote this wasn't trying to be funny. At least you know James Potter doesn't want you dead," Lily said, finally adding her beetle brains to her potion.

"No one wants you dead, Lily," Severus said. "It wasn't a serious threat, it wasn't directed at you, specifically, it was just lipstick on a mirror."

"How do _you_ know it wasn't a serious threat?" Marlene said, pausing in her pursuit to chop up a ginger root to cast Severus an annoyed glance.

"Because it was just lipstick. On a mirror. In a washroom no one uses," Severus said dryly.

"A washroom where a girl with muggle parents died. You don't think it might have been chosen on purpose?" Marlene said.

"I don't think whoever did this was putting as much thought into it as you are now. What do you think is going to happen? _They'll use mascara next?"_ Severus said in mock-horror.

"Wow, you really don't think this is a big deal, do you?" Marlene said, shaking her head and going back to her ginger root.

"It's really not. It's bathroom graffiti. It's just words. No one was hurt," Severus said slowly, as though explaining a simple concept to someone very stupid.

Marlene sighed heavily, unceremoniously plopping her ginger root into her potion.

"It's not _just_ words," Lily said. "People use that to reduce those of muggle birth to sub-human. That's why they feel comfortable calling us scum and wishing us dead, because to them, we're not _really_ people."

"Over-reacting is just what the person that wrote that wants. If you get too focused on non-issues no one will take you seriously. Especially if your main argument is that it hurt your feelings," Severus said.

"Merlin's beard," Marlene cringed.

" _What,_ McKinnon?" Severus said. Lily couldn't tell who looked more annoyed.

"Someone wrote a threat to intimidate and dehumanize a whole group of people at this school who didn't do anything to warrant threats outside, you know, existing. _When_ do we get to be upset, _when_ will people take it seriously? Does someone have to actually die, or will getting maimed be enough?" Marlene said.

"You're a pureblood, McKinnon, calm down," Severus said.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Don't fucking tell me to calm down, Sev, _dear."_

"Language, Miss McKinnon," Professor Slughorn said as he approached their table, eying each of their cauldrons. "Nice progress, Mr. Snape. Miss Evans, running a bit slow today?"

"No slower than a Slytherin's wit, sir," Lily said, forcing a smile. She and Slughorn often teased about the rivalry between their houses. Slughorn simply chuckled before heading to the next table.

"Anyway, yeah, my parents are both magic, _so what?_ I'm a _human being_ and I know this is messed up," Marlene said once Slughorn had stepped away.

"So, I'm not a human being because I don't think it's a big deal? I'm not _condoning_ it, I don't think it should have happened, but I'm less of a person for not letting it ruin my day? Do we measure humanity by how offended we get about something?" Severus said. Lily glanced between the two as though she was watching a tennis match.

Was Severus right? Were they making a big deal out of nothing? She hadn't gotten nearly as upset about the symbol in Flitwick's class, and found herself thinking, _it's just a fairy tale, it's fine, besides, it's gone now._ The lipstick was gone now, too. Dumbledore repaired the mirrors and stopped the toilets and sinks overflowing. Moaning Myrtle went back to her usual level of moaning. It was like it never happened. So why couldn't she let it go now?

Was _Marlene_ right? Was it necessary to take something so small in the scheme of thing so seriously? Was tolerance for this going to lead to worse things? Was it only human nature to be upset about something like this?

Lily's head spun. Neither Marlene, nor Severus, were part of the group targeted by the message, and she was starting to wonder if this disagreement between them was more personal than anything.

"I'm saying any person with an ounce of empathy would be disgusted by this, but I mean, it's not directly affecting you, so, whatever, right?" Marlene said.

"I just said I don't condone it, you don't get to tell me what to be offended by," Severus said.

"Groovy," Marlene said with exaggerated sweetness. "Then don't tell me what I _shouldn't_ be offended by."

"I was just _saying_ that—"

"Yeah, cool, it could be worse. That's what's scary, that's how this shit starts, but I'm _done discussing this_ , especially with someone that _so obviously_ doesn't get it," Marlene snapped.

"Is it lonely being the only truly compassionate person there is?" Severus sneered.

"Not as lonely as it must be being the only person not acquainted with soap," Marlene said.

"Can you both please stop?" Lily sighed. They both craved the last word, she could tell. She'd been in the middle of their arguments before.

Severus opened his mouth to retort and Lily looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Please," she said again. He sighed and went back to scribbling in the margins of his text book.

Lily had barely gone back to her potion when Marlene passed her a small, folded note.

It read: _Why are you even friends with him?_

* * *

Lily was supposed to be patrolling. She was supposed to be making sure no one snuck out of their dorms in the night, lipstick in hand, with intentions to write more hate across school property. She was supposed to be making sure no one was declaring allegiance to the dark lord or Grindelwald by defacing anything else.

And yet, she wasn't. She was sitting on the cold, stone floor, across from a large window, outside of which she was looking at nothing in particular.

The knee in her trousers was starting to tear, and rather than mend it, she mindlessly tugged at the threads, eyes still pointed out the window and out of focus.

She wanted her brain to stop. She wanted to stop thinking the word "mudblood."

She wished Emmeline had patrol tonight, but the Ravenclaw was not scheduled. Maybe if she was, Lily could talk her way through this with her. Marlene kept alternating between anger and attempts at comfort. Dorcas was just angry. Emmeline had been upset when she heard what had happened and had joined in the discussion of how horrible it was, but she was probably the most objective when Severus came up in conversation.

Lily wasn't sure she wanted comfort or mirrored rage now. She needed to talk it through and figure out how she felt.

She didn't hear footsteps or realize she wasn't alone until Remus stepped into her line of vision, taking her by surprise. She sat up straight, heart racing a bit.

"Remus! Hi… hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hey," Remus said. "You okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine, I'm tired, I—" Lily said, thinking for a moment that she would stand upright, but thought better of it, sinking back to her spot on the floor. "—I… I don't know, actually."

"Can I sit?" Remus asked, gesturing to the bit of floor next to her. She nodded.

"Nice night," he observed, looking to the window as he sat. She nodded.

"The moon is bright," she commented.

"I never cared for the moon," he said.

She frowned. She had confronted him first year about his absences. She was hoping that she would get a denial of Severus' theory. That way she could tell Severus with certainty that he was wrong and to let it go.

That wasn't what happened. A smaller, awkward Remus Lupin, whose voice was still cracking, begged her on the verge of tears not to tell anyone, swearing up and down that he didn't want to hurt anyone. Lily had promised not to speak a word to anyone. She had kept that promise.

She often forgot until his seat in class was vacant again. She forgot with homework and dancing and daydreaming about his shy smile. She supposed that was bad, and her stomach turned with guilt over the fact that she had the luxury of forgetting.

"Sorry," she said. He shrugged.

"Can't be helped," he said matter-of-factly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Your… _condition?"_ she asked.

"No, no. Why you're sitting here all…" he gestured to her entire being. "You know, giving confusing answers to 'you okay?'"

"Oh," Lily said. "I dunno. Do you want to hear me ramble confused for a few minutes?"

"Beats patrol," he said.

"It's the _worst_ isn't it?"

"Absolutely."

Lily took a deep breath. "Did you hear about what happened in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom earlier?"

"I heard a couple of different versions," Remus said. "But Marlene said there was lipstick that said 'Die M-Word Scum'?"

"Yeah, she and Dorcas were there when I went to find out what was going on," Lily said. "And I mean, when I realized what had happened, I felt really sick and I kept thinking about being called that and how when I would go home before my sister moved out, she would call me a freak. And I just… I just kind of felt like I didn't belong _any_ where. And it was just very upsetting. And then I talked to Sev and I started wondering if maybe I'm taking it too seriously and if in the scheme of things this is really a big deal when people out there are _actually dying_. Should I be wasting energy over some lipstick on a mirror?"

Remus nodded along as she spoke. When she paused, he said, "So, question."

"Okay."

"Sometimes when James gets pissed off—okay, I do this, too—but he just goes on and on about whatever it is, and he doesn't necessarily want suggestions, he just wants to complain out loud until it's out of his system and then he can deal with it," Remus said. "Do you want to do that or do you want feedback?"

"I don't know what to think anymore… so I guess I want a conversation with feedback," Lily said sheepishly.

"Okay, so you're upset about the message on the mirror," Remus said.

"I don't know if I _should_ be," Lily sighed.

"But you _are_ upset," he said. She considered this for a moment and realized that was fairly obvious. Whether she should be or not, she was upset.

"Yeah, I am," she said.

"Then, you should be upset," Remus shrugged. "Just because worse things are happening doesn't mean you don't get to be upset about this. Especially since it hits so much closer than Daily Prophet articles."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's part of it, that it feels so _real_ seeing it there. I mean, I'm saving all my money to try and get my parents a sneakoscope because I was worried but now I'm—well, I'm _scared_ now. I'm terrified."

"And that's understandable, you shouldn't have to feel that way at school," Remus said.

"So, I'm not over-reacting or making it out to be worse than it is?"

"Look, if you were running around shouting that this was the worst thing that's literally ever happened in the history of mankind, I'd probably get together with Marlene to organize an intervention," Remus smiled. "But you're upset about a slur that brings up really uncomfortable conversation. I think that's justified and reasonable."

Lily nodded. "Thanks. I mean, it doesn't make it better, but… I mean, I think I know where I stand."

"Good," Remus said. "Do you want to go to the kitchens and eat your feelings? It usually makes the guys feel better."

Lily smiled. "Sure."


	12. Don't Doubt Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely more lighthearted than the last one, hope you like it! Let me know!

" _You know, Vance, you don't talk much, but when you do, you're kinda mean."_

* * *

Wormtail was carefully perched atop Prongs' head, Moony and Padfoot watching eagerly as the stag lifted the rat to the opening at the base of the Whomping Willow. Wormtail gently stepped across Prongs' nose to reach the opening, slipping outside.

"The coast is clear!" Wormtail squeaked, touching the knot in the trunk. Prongs carefully angled his antlers to begin climbing through.

"We're going outside! We're going outside!" Moony bayed, bouncing playfully as Prongs wiggled his way outside.

"Yeah, if Prongs' giant stag arse ever moves," Padfoot barked.

"Hooves get no traction!" Prongs bleated, finally clearling the entrance. Moony immediately leaped through, having a far easier time than Prongs had. He looked around wildly, eagerly, repeatedly clawing at the grass, delighted at its presence and all too sick of hardwood and dirt.

Padfoot slipped out of the entrance and for a moment they watched Moony smell the air, the tree, and the grass, his tail wagging the whole way.

"Hey, Moony, we have the whole grounds to explore!" Prongs bleated.

Moony tilted his head. "How much is there?"

"Lots!" squeaked Wormtail. Prongs lowered his head for him to climb on top again.

"Let's go then!" Moony barked, bringing his chest close to the ground cheerfully.

"Let's check out the lake, we haven't mapped it yet," Padfoot suggested before starting off in that direction. The others followed, and before long Prongs started off at a run.

"Last one there is Snivellus' long lost twin!"

That was all it took to get the dog and werewolf sprinting after the stag, Wormtail clinging tightly to his antlers. The autumn wind ran through their fur and as Moony advanced into first place, he let out a triumphant howl.

"You're cheating! You're… using the moon to run faster!" Padfoot barked after him.

"If it makes you feel better to believe that!"

The lake came into view, the full moon reflected on the glassy surface. Moony skidded to a halt at the water's edge, victorious. Prongs came up next and in retaliation for daring to beat him, Padfoot pounced at the stag, knocking him and Wormtail into the water. Padfoot stumbled in after.

Moony shook after being met with the resulting, epic splash. He waited for the others to break the surface before leaping forward as well.

"It's freezing!" Padfoot barked, paddling around an unamused Prongs, whose form was tall enough to allow him to stand in the water while the others swam.

"Yeah. It's October," Prongs bayed.

"And this is _still_ Scotland," Wormtail squeaked, swimming to the lake's edge.

Moony howled again, swimming after a frog, who looked barely phased by the werewolf's presence. He snapped at the creature with his jaw and the frog simply leapt into the depths and out of sight. Moony whined softly, the game over far too soon, and swam back to where Padfoot was still treading water near Prongs. A disheveled looking Wormtail watched on as Prongs tried to prod Padfoot with his antlers as revenge for knocking them into the lake.

"You can't escape me!" Prongs bleated dramatically as he pursued the black dog to the lake's edge. "I am the Loch Ness Stag!"

"We're not at the Loch Ness!"

"Shut up, Padfoot!"

"I'm just saying!"

As Moony shook water from his coat, a soaked Padfoot was running away from a soaked Prongs. They ran around the grass, Prongs' antlers lowered.

"Come on!" Moony whined to Wormtail, lowering his head for the rat to climb on, as he'd seen Prongs and Padfoot do. Wormtail climbed on, holding tight to Moony's damp fur as he dashed after the others. He passed Prongs and pounced at Padfoot, sending the three of them stumbling through the grass.

"Aw, come on, whose side are you on?" Padfoot whined. Moony stood up and lowered his chest near the ground, Wormtail somehow still on his head. Moony bounced about playfully, as he had the last full moon, ready to wrestle.

"I'll take it from here," Prongs bleated, prodding the dog with his antlers, though not enough to do damage. Padfoot whined, backing away from the antlers until he found himself stumbling backward, back into the lake where he had knocked Prongs and Wormtail.

"Victory!" Prongs marched about the lake's edge, poised and triumphant as Padfoot pulled himself out of the lake once more. Padfoot shook off the water only when he was finally standing beside Prongs again.

Prongs glared at the dog. The dog looked smug in return.

"The lake is so big, there's so much grass!" Moony howled, leaping forward to roll around in the recently cut blades. Wormtail finally lost grip in the excitement and went rolling through the grass as well.

Padfoot rushed forward, tackling the werewolf in retaliation for a few moments earlier. They barked and batted at each other, tails wagging.

Prongs settled in the grass, content to rest for a moment with Wormtail as the others play wrestled. This didn't last long, however, before Moony and Padfoot conversed softly among each other, then glanced back Prongs' way. Moony howled and Padfoot barked.

"Dog pile on Prongs!"

Eyes wide, Prongs barely stood upright and started rushing off before both the dog and the werewolf leaped at his back, knocking him over and pinning him there. Wormtail quickly climbed atop the pile, declaring himself king of the castle.

"You didn't do anything to take him down, we did all the work!" Padfoot barked, partially sandwiched between Prongs and Moony.

"Taking credit for others' accomplishments. You'll make a fine king," Moony bayed.

"Get off!" Prongs bleated, squirming beneath them some more until he was able to bring himself to his feet, shaking the others off.

"You got lucky," Prongs stated before dashing off. "You'll never catch me twice!"

"Get him!" Moony howled, Wormtail clinging to his fur as the canines sprinted after the stag. Prongs was fast, and took turns as sharply as he would on a broom, but it wasn't long before the others caught up, tackling him again.

This went on for a time, any notion of actually doing something productive for the map forgotten as they chased each other around in circles. They only stopped when Padfoot stretched out on the grass with a yawn and the others thought that might be nice, too.

"So, which one are you, Padfoot?" Prongs bleated, glancing up at the stars. It was a clear night and they were far enough from the dim lights of the castle to see them all.

"That one there, the really bright one," Padfoot said, gesturing with his snout.

"That's the moon," Wormtail squeaked.

"I wasn't pointing at the moon! _That one,"_ Padfoot whined, staring straight at the star in question.

"It's not that much brighter than the others," Moony bayed.

"Yes it is! It's the brightest one! Let me have this," Padfoot barked.

"Isn't the sun a star?" Wormtail squeaked.

"Yes," nodded Prongs.

"And the sun is so bright, you can't see the others when it's out," Wormtail continued. "So isn't the sun the brightest?"

"I think you make an excellent point, Wormtail," Prongs bleated.

"I think you should _shut up,_ Wormtail. Sirius is the brightest star in the _night_ sky," Padfoot growled.

"Wait, are you talking about that one? Next to those three that kinda make a triangle?" Moony pointed his own snout to the sky.

" _Yes,"_ Padfoot barked.

"Oh. Well that one _is_ bright," Moony nodded.

"Oh, yeah, I thought we were talking about that one over there," Prongs bayed.

"The sun is still brighter," Wormtail squeaked.

" _I hate all of you."_

* * *

The next day, Lily and Emmeline found themselves in Divination. They were the only ones in their group of friends that took the subject, as Dorcas did not want to mess with things like the future and Marlene seemed to think it was nonsense (Emmeline and Lily noted her hypocrisy when she would look over her horoscope).

The Divination Professor, Madame Valdez, was quite old. How old, no one was sure, but the shades of gray and white in her hair and the creases near her eyes implied quite a bit of time on this planet, though otherwise she still seemed quite agile. She always wore long, flowing skirts and had a great dislike for shoes. Even during colder months, the boots she wore greater resembled plush slippers.

She wore a great deal of jewelry, none of which matched. She and her classroom smelled strongly of burning sage. It wasn't uncommon to find her wandering the halls for something, though she didn't know what. She would always insist that she would know when she found it.

Today, she stood at the head of the classroom holding a crystal from a chain.

"…Now, there are a few theories about pendulums. Some believe no magic is involved at all, and we are but subconsciously making it move ourselves," Madam Valdez was saying, eyes fixed to the crystal. "Some believe that spirits, or magic itself, moves the pendulum. I think it's a bit of both, depending on what you're asking. Now, you can use pendulums to find lost objects, make decisions… today we'll be focusing on yes or no questions. Am I Madam Valdez?"

The pendulum began to swing toward Madam Valdez and away. "See, class, so that direction means 'yes.' Am I Albus Dumbledore?" The Pendulum swung from side to side. "And there's 'no.' Will Mr. Stebbins be joining us today?"

The crystal moved forward and back again, and a moment later, Billy Stebbins pushed open the trap door to get inside.

"Sorry I'm late, Professor! So many stairs…" he said, climbing through.

"What _is_ time? Is it even real?" Madam Valdez said with a smile. "Do sit. Now, today I want you to pick one of my pendulums I have up here, pick one that feels right. I want you to just open your mind, relax, and ask it some yes or no questions. Start off with simple questions you know the answer to, then ask some you don't. Before our next class, please read the chapter on pendulums. Your next writing assignment will be to compare your experiences with those described in the book, and to explain what _you_ believe is moving the pendulum."

The class shuffled to the front to pick a pendulum.

"Do you think the crystal can tell me if there will be a pop quiz in ancient runes tomorrow?" Emmeline mumbled to Lily as they waited for their turn to pick one.

"I dunno. I wonder if it'll tell you if Pam will ever stop giving you dirty looks," Lily smiled.

"Excellent question, though, I assume she'll have to at some point. One of us has to die eventually," Emmeline said, approaching the desk to look upon the remaining pendulums.

"I think I know which one you'll take," Madam Valdez said, watching Emmeline expectantly. The girl ran her eyes over each one before reaching for a clear crystal. Madam Valdez nodded, smiling. Emmeline stepped aside to wait for Lily to pick one.

There were several left, some jagged, some smooth. They were various colors on chains made from various materials.

"How do you know if it feels right?" Lily asked.

"I just kept wanting to pick this one up," Emmeline shrugged.

"Let me help you. Put out your hand, palm down," Madam Valdez said. Lily did so, and the older woman set her hand on top of Lily's guiding it over each pendulum. "Do you feel any energy pulling you in any direction?"

Her hand seemed to move slowly, but speed up to reach a light green crystal, then slow down again as it passed. Was Madam Valdez doing that, or was Lily actually drawn to the crystal's energy? Regardless, Lily reached for the crystal and took it in her hand.

"Yes, good," Madam Valdez nodded. Lily followed Emmeline back to their table where they settled down onto the plush pillows.

"Okay, basic questions," Emmeline said, fishing out some parchment and a quill to take notes. She lifted the pendulum by the chain and watched it carefully until it hung still. "Is my name Emmeline Louise Vance?"

The crystal swung gently away from Emmeline before swinging back.

"Am I married to David Bowie?" The crystal swung side-to-side, indicating no. "Will I ever marry David Bowie?"

The crystal continued swinging side-to-side.

"Aw, sorry, Em," Lily smiled.

"Gonna have to rethink my _whole life plan_ now," Emmeline said sarcastically, jotting down some notes. "Ask yours something."

"Is my name Lily Joy Evans?" Lily asked the crystal, dangling it above the table. The crystal swung forward and backward. "Okay, so that's 'yes.' Do I have an older brother?"

The crystal swung side to side. Lily nodded. "And there's 'no.' Groovy. Do I have an older sister?"

The crystal indicated, "yes."

"Will there be a pop quiz in ancient runes tomorrow?" Emmeline asked. Her pendulum swung forward and backward. "Figures. I'd better study tonight."

"Will I earn the money to get a sneakoscope by Christmas?" Lily asked her crystal. Forward and back: yes.

"Hmm…" Emmeline considered, trying to come up with another question.

"Ask if you'll survive your choir solo," Lily said. "Maybe you'll believe a crystal if you don't believe us."

"What if it says 'no?'" Emmeline frowned.

"It won't, come on," Lily urged.

"Will I survive my choir solo?" Emmeline asked. Forward and back: yes. "Will I humiliate myself during my solo?" Side-to-side: no.

"See?" Lily said.

"I'm still nervous," Emmeline sighed. "Your turn, ask yours something."

Lily glanced around to be sure that the others in their class were preoccupied with their crystals before asking softly, "Should I ask Remus out?"

Side-to-side: no. Lily frowned.

"Ask if he's gonna ask _you_ out, maybe," Emmeline suggested, watching the crystal with a puzzled expression.

"Is Remus going to ask me out," Lily asked. Side-to-side: no, again. "Will he say 'yes' if I ignore you and ask him out anyway?"

Side-to-side: no.

"Maybe crystals hate Remus," Emmeline said softly. She watched hers. "Should _I_ ask Remus out?"

Side-to-side: no.

"See? Will he say yes if I ignore you and ask him anyway?" Emmeline said. Forward-and-backward: yes. "Okay, never mind, this doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe we should go back to easier questions," Lily said, looking disappointed and confused.

"Will I outlive Dumbledore?" Emmeline said. Side-to-side: no. "What the hell? He's ancient!"

"Well. Maybe he'll live to be like, three-hundred-something and outlive all of us," Lily suggested.

"I sure hope so, if I'm dying first," Emmeline frowned.

"Will I outlive Emmeline?" Lily asked teasingly. Side-to-side: no. Lily frowned, not expecting that.

"So, we need to keep me and Dumbledore alive," Emmeline nodded.

"Yes, apparently," Lily said.

"Maybe we shouldn't ask about our deaths," Emmeline said.

"Good call. Um… Oh, I know. Will I get married?" Lily asked. Forward-and-back: yes.

"Will _I_ get married?" Emmeline asked. Side-to-side: no. "Hmm. I don't know how I feel about that."

"Will I have children?" Lily asked. Forward-and-back: yes. "Will I have more than one?"

Side-to-side: no. Lily pouted slightly. "Aw, I wanted a few."

"Well, then have lots of sex and lots of babies. I feel like the future can't be _that_ set in stone," Emmeline nodded. "Will _I_ have children?"

Side-to-side: no.

"Is… that gonna bother me?" Emmeline asked. This time her crystal went in some sort of circle.

"I don't think it knows," Lily said.

"Is my life going to be very depressing?" Emmeline sighed. Forward-and-back: yes. Emmeline set her pendulum down on the tabletop. "I don't like this game."

"Maybe spirits _do_ move it, and they're messing with us," Lily said, offering her friend a smile.

"Yeah, well, you ask it some more, let them mess with you for a while," Emmeline said.

"Have I already met who I'm going to marry?" Lily asked. Forward-and-back: yes. "Is he in our year?" Forward-and-back: yes.

"Slim picking," Emmeline teased.

"Is it Remus?" Lily asked. Side-to-side: no.

"Shame. 'Lily Lupin' sounds nice," Emmeline giggled.

"Is it Severus?" Lily asked skeptically. Side-to-side: no.

"'Lily Snape,' on the other hand, sounds terrible," Emmeline nodded. "You would've had to talk him in to 'Severus Evans.'" Lily giggled at the notion.

"Is it… I don't know, Sirius Black?" Lily asked, cringing at the notion. The girls watched the pendulum expectantly. Side-to-side: no. Lily sighed in relief, Emmeline nodded in agreement.

"Oh, I know, I've got a good one," Lily grinned. "Is it _James Potter?"_

The crystal was still for a moment before swinging forward-and-back: yes. Both girls' eyes widened. Lily's face fell. Emmeline gasped, covering her mouth. In the next instant, the Ravenclaw had dissolved into hysterical laughter, while Lily lost all concept of speaking softly before shouting, "No! _No!"_

The class turned to find a terrified-looking Lily and an Emmeline who had buried her head in her arms atop the table in a vain attempt to hide her laughter.

"Ah, yes, I should have mentioned, class. Do be cautious of what you ask, you may not like the answer," Madam Valdez said. She instructed the others to go back to their own pendulums before taking a seat at Emmeline and Lily's table. "What's wrong?"

"S-she—!" Emmeline started, still laughing. "Merlin, Merlin, one second. She—!"

Emmeline cackled some more and Lily glared daggers at the other girl. Emmeline took a deep, deep breath and said, "She found out who she's marrying."

"No, what I found out is that this thing is broken," Lily said, holding the crystal to their professor.

"Is he quite ugly?" Madam Valdez asked very seriously in hushed tones.

"Well, _no_ , but he _is_ the most frustrating person I know," Lily said with a huff.

"Oh. My husband is quite the same," Madam Valdez nodded as though this were perfectly reasonable.

"He will never be my husband. _Never,"_ Lily said.

"That's how you feel _now_ , but this could be at any point in the future. A week, fifty years," Madam Valdez explained.

"What are the chances of the pendulums being wrong, then?" Emmeline asked, still red in the face from laughing. "Because mine was not giving me promising answers either."

"Anything can be wrong. I've been wrong, I've _misinterpreted_ plenty of predictions. If you see something concerning, you can do what you can to try and change things, you _are_ more in control than you realize," Madam Valdez assured them. "However, oftentimes the universe _does_ have different plans and trying to avoid something may put you in that position anyway. But keep in mind that the person you are now may not react the same way as the person you _will_ be when faced with whatever obstacle has been predicted."

"I… guess that's reassuring?" Emmeline said.

"You didn't ask them when you'd die, did you?" Madam Valdez said. Emmeline and Lily exchanged glances. Madam Valdez sighed. "When shall I send my condolences, then?"

"Apparently I am going to die before Dumbledore but after Lily," Emmeline said.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry. Our headmaster is going to be with us quite a while, I think," Madam Valdez nodded. "Try some simpler questions, now, don't get yourselves worked up. I don't want you staying up all night fretting over what might or might not happen."

"But the pendulums _can_ be wrong," Lily said.

Madam Valdez smiled softly. "Sometimes, Miss Evans. _Sometimes._ "

As soon as Madam Valdez walked off, Emmeline leaned across the table, grinning. "Lily Joy _Potter,"_ she whispered.

" _No,"_ Lily hissed.

"You're gonna marry _James Potter_ and have his _baby,"_ Emmeline said in hushed tones.

"Maybe it's not his baby, maybe it's someone else's and I marry him for is money. And also, _I am not_ marrying him," Lily whispered back.

Emmeline grinned and held up her own crystal. "Will Lily have James Potter's baby?"

Forward-and-back: yes.

"No," Lily said to Emmeline's crystal as though she was scolding a poorly-behaved dog. "But hey, at least I'm _getting_ married."

"That's cold," Emmeline pouted. "Will I at least have a steady boyfriend?"

Forward-and-back: yes.

"Will he like dogs?" the Ravenclaw asked. Forward-and-back: yes. "Well. I'm okay with that."

Lily crossed her arms with a huff. "I don't care what these things say. I'm going to ask Remus out and I am _not_ marrying James Potter."

"But what _if—"_

"No, it's _not happening,"_ Lily insisted.

"All right, then, I'm still studying ancient runes tonight," Emmeline shrugged.

* * *

Lily and Emmeline descended the Divination Tower's stairs, speaking softly as they went. Lily had begun listing all of James Potter's annoying qualities near the end of class and had yet to finish.

"Don't you think you might be protesting too much?" Emmeline said.

"I'm simply outlining all the reasons _no one_ should be with him, much less me," Lily said. "Number eighty-five: he's gotten more detentions than the rest of our house put together. Not counting Black."

"And Remus and Peter, probably," Emmeline pointed out. Lily nodded. "I'm just saying, it's a lot to notice about someone you don't care about."

"I do care. I care about the points he loses, I care about how often he harasses Sev for no reason, I care that he keeps asking me out like it's a fun game because I've turned him down, I care about the way he gives scared first years misinformation about the school, and I care that he thinks he's better than the rest of us because he can afford a nice broom and throw a quaffle around," Lily said with a scowl.

"Okay. Do you think he's cute?" Emmeline asked.

"What does that have to do with literally anything I just said?" Lily sighed.

"First, way to not answer the question," Emmeline laughed. "Second, people will overlook a lot for a pretty face."

"Not me," Lily declared.

"So you _do_ think he has a pretty face," Emmeline grinned.

"I didn't _say_ that!" Lily groaned.

"I'm just _teasing,"_ Emmeline said. "But if it happens—"

"It won't."

"But if it _does—"_

Emmeline didn't have a chance to finish her sentence. As they turned the corner, they nearly walked straight into James Potter himself, grinning in a charming fashion and rooted to the spot as though waiting for them. Which was exactly what he was doing.

He did this _every_ _day_ they had divination.

"Ladies," he greeted. His glasses partially concealed dark circles beneath his eyes. He looked tired, yet somehow managed to pull that off.

"Hello," Emmeline said, tightening her lips into a line to keep from laughing. Lily sighed, frustrated.

"What do you want?" Lily said.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Evans, I didn't even _do_ anything yet," James said, raising his hands as though to show that he was unarmed.

"You have muggle studies with Marlene before transfiguration. How do even _get_ to this floor to run into us _every time?"_ Lily frowned. "Muggle studies is on the first floor, transfiguration is on the ground floor, _this is the seventh floor."_

James grinned. "You know us men, rubbish at directions."

Emmeline snickered. Lily narrowed her eyes.

"It's creepy," Lily said, starting off again. James easily fell into step between the two girls.

"Noted," James said cheerfully, throwing an arm around each girl's shoulders. "But since we all _happened_ to run into each other, I need to ask something."

"I _don't want to date you,"_ Lily growled, shoving his arm off of her. James set his now-free hand to his chest, appalled.

He turned to Emmeline. "I asked her out once on the train, Sirius joked about it when he made that bet with Dorcas, and it came up once at dinner a month ago and she acts like I've asked her every hour on the hour."

Emmeline covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. Lily glared at the both of them.

"Not _everything_ is about you, Evans. Merlin, and you say _I've_ got a bit head," James tsked.

"Don't you start gaslighting me," Lily snapped.

James raised his hands in defeat again. "Okay, someone's in a mood."

"I'm not _in a mood,_ okay? _You're_ a git," Lily huffed.

James spoke to Emmeline again. "Is it her—"

"If you ask," Emmeline said softly, but sternly, "If it's her time of the month, we will _both_ hex you. And it'll be the word of two prefects against yours."

Lily finally smiled, pleased that despite how amusing Emmeline might find this, she was still on her side.

"Have you synced up?" James said. "I hear girls do that."

Both girls had their wands out and casually pointed at his head in less than a second. He put his hands up yet again.

"Synced enough for you?" Emmeline said.

"Fine, fine, _sorry,"_ James said. "You know, Vance, you don't talk much, but when you do, you're kinda _mean._ Not that that's a bad thing. It's like you lure people into a false sense of security. I admire that."

Emmeline cocked a brow, unsure how to take that.

" _Anyway,_ what I wanted to say was that you two are probably going to see Meadowes before I do," James said.

"So?" said Lily.

" _So,_ can you _please_ ask her to magic up a copy of her arithmancy notes?" he said.

"Why do _you_ need her arithmancy notes?" Lily asked.

"I don't. Remus is out today and Pete, Sirius, and I don't have that class or we would take the notes ourselves," James explained.

"Oh," Lily said, her expression softening.

"I have potions with her next, I'll ask her," Emmeline said.

" _Thank you,"_ James said. "See? Painless."

With his mission complete, James bowed to the two girls dramatically before strutting off ahead of them.

Emmeline began humming the wedding march as soon as he was out of earshot. Lily elbowed her in the ribs.

"Your future husband thinks I'm _mean_ ," Emmeline said scandalously.

" _Shut up."_

"Does this mean I don't get to be a bridesmaid?"

"For Merlin's sake, _shut up!"_


	13. People Never Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween in the story! Which is awesome because that's the best holiday! Let me know what you think of this one.

" _You make it sound like I'm jealous!"_

" _I think you're mad that life worked out for him in ways it didn't for you."_

* * *

It was Halloween and Hogwarts was buzzing with activity. It was a day to celebrate everything spooky, but also everything magic. Ghosts shared stories of their deaths all day to everyone that would listen. The only ones unwilling to relay details were the Gray Lady and the Bloody Baron, and most were too intimidated to ask anyway.

The paintings had scary stories to share as well, some true, some fiction, and some (told by a certain Sir Cadogan) that were likely fiction masquerading as truth.

The suits of armor spent a good deal of the lunch hour re-enacting battles and jousting, and were asked to please stop when a first year fainted at the sight of the fake blood that they thought would make the performance grittier and more entertaining.

Peeves celebrated by dropping rotting pumpkins on anyone unfortunate enough to walk by. Lily became one of these unfortunate people, and she and Dorcas spent an obscene amount of time in the bathroom magic-ing the mess out of her hair. They weren't about to try vanishing the pumpkin, as Professor MacPherson had tried earlier and managed to also vanish his remaining hair.

They now sat at the Gryffindor table, Lily's hair a bit frizzy but otherwise pumpkin-free. The Halloween Feast was underway and much of the food was ignored in favor of the various sugary treats.

Emmeline and Marlene were in the middle of a game that Lily wished Marlene's older brother, Morgan, had never invented: Bertie Bott's Roulette. Emmeline kept her eyes closed and Marlene took a random bean from the carton, popping it in Emmeline's open mouth.

"Oh, _fuck,_ I think it's soap," Emmeline gagged, opening her eyes.

"Remember, if you spit it out, you lose, and you have to eat ten at once," Marlene grinned, watching Emmeline forcefully chew the bean. It was a rule that you couldn't swallow it whole, it _must_ be chewed first.

Morgan called good flavors "blanks," and the disgusting flavors "bullets."

"This is the worst game," Lily said.

"Also the worst candy," Dorcas said, content with her sugar quill.

Emmeline opened her mouth and lifted her tongue to let Marlene verify that she had consumed the candy.

"Your back molars are weird," Marlene observed.

"Yeah, they're crooked. But they're in the back and I can still eat, so," Emmeline shrugged. "Your turn."

Marlene closed her eyes and opened her mouth. Emmeline dropped a bean in. Marlene opened her eyes and chewed carefully.

"Grass," she said with a nod. She opened her mouth again to show she had swallowed it.

"Your teeth are green," Lily commented. Marlene shrugged, reaching for the package for Emmeline's next turn.

Before they had a chance to have a go at another round, the doors to the hall burst open, drawing everyone's attention. Severus ran inside, bringing a trail of smoke with him. Pursuing the boy were three large, goofy, bouncing jack-o-lanterns, chomping their jaws and cackling.

"Don't run, Snivellus! We're hot for you!" the jack-o-lanterns taunted. Emma Vanity stood from the Slytherin table as Severus ran past her and sprayed him with water from the tip of her wand, putting out a small fire on his back caused by the enchanted pumpkins.

"We're gonna get you, Snivellus! You can't run forever!" the jack-o-lanterns laughed. Emma barely jumped out of the way before they would have run her down.

Slughorn and Emma both attempted to vanish the jack-o-lanterns at the same moment, which only caused them to catch fire entirely, fireworks spraying from their mouths and leaving at least half the people in the hall to cover their ears at the popping and whistling sounds.

"Why are you trying to get rid of us, Snivellus? Don't you love us?" The way the jack-o-lanterns chased Severus about the great hall was comical as they bounced along through the air, mouths sparking.

Professor Flitwick stood in his chair and shot a spell toward the jack-o-lanterns, successfully reducing one into a burst of sparks.

Two were still left, however, and hot in pursuit of Severus, still dashing around other students to get away. Half the hall was laughing, the display too ridiculous to do much else. Others attempted, vainly, to help as the jack-o-lanterns continue chasing the boy about the hall.

First year Gilderoy Lockhart shoved an older student aside, wand at the ready, and managed to make the flames of one of the jack-o-lanterns much worse. Another student tried dousing them with water, only to miss and soak Mary MacDonald instead.

" _Is anyone that concerned about_ that guy _getting burned, or?"_

" _I dunno, he might set the whole castle on fire."_

" _True, I'm not dying a fiery death over that git."_

There were too many people; it was too chaotic. There was too much laughter, too many shouted comments, to many spells, Severus and the jack-o-lanterns were moving too fast. Lily stood on the bench to try and get a better look, to get a better idea of what to do.

"No one else wants you, Snivellus! Stop running!" the remaining jack-o-lanterns called. Emma Vanity had stolen Filch's mop, and the man would have likely kicked up a fuss about it if he hadn't ducked under the Hufflepuff table for cover, cradling Mr. Bertram. She ran for the jack-o-lanterns, gripping the handle of the mop in preparation to strike.

After dodging the still-running Severus, she swung the mop and made contact with one of the jack-o-lanterns, sending it crashing straight into the nearby wall before it crumbled to the floor in a fiery heap.

Frank Longbottom had a similar idea to Lily when it came to finding higher ground. Knocking over some plates in the process, he climbed atop the Gryffindor table before throwing a spell at the last remaining jack-o-lantern, leaving it vanished in a puff of smoke. Lily jumped down from the bench and rushed over to where Severus was leaning against the wall, catching his breath as the hall applauded once the last jack-o-lantern was taken care of.

"Sev! Sev, are you okay?" she called, but before she could get to him, several of his housemates had already gathered around, talking over each other. Mulciber was dusting him off. Avery was shaking his head and mumbling something about embarrassments.

"Sev!" Lily called again, standing on the tips of her toes to see over his housemate's heads. He didn't respond. Fed up, she shoved her way through, ignoring the protests made by the people she was elbowing.

"Are you all right?" she asked again once she had shoved Avery out of the way.

"Watch where you're going, Evans, this doesn't concern you!" Avery sneered.

"Bugger off," Lily said.

"I'm _fine_ , Lily, go back to your table," Severus said through his teeth as his housemates whispered around them.

"Are you sure? Are you sure you don't have burns? You should go to the hospital wing, you don't want to overlook something—" Lily started, examining the scorch marks she could see.

"He's not an _idiot_ , Evans, he knows if he's burnt or not," Mulciber said. "Run along."

"You were doing so much running, there's so much adrenaline, it might not be obvious right now if something is wrong, I _really_ think you should—" Lily said.

"I'm fine," Severus said, setting a hand to her shoulder. "I promise, just go."

"Why don't you want me here?" she said.

"Because it doesn't concern you, Evans," said Peggy Madison, standing comfortably between Mulciber and Rosier. "Go back to your table."

"What the hell is he still doing here? Mulciber, take him to the goddamn hospital wing, what are you good for?" Emma said after shoving her way through.

"He said he's _fine,"_ Mulciber sighed.

"You are the most useless prefect, I swear to Merlin—" Emma started.

"Well!" Dumbledore said, standing upright and bringing a hush to the great hall. "That was certainly more exciting than expected. Kudos to our Head Boy and Girl, Frank Longbottom and Emma Vanity, for some quick thinking, as well as Professor Flitwick. We must now deal with the resulting damage and I daresay some of you are in need of medical attention. I think it's best that the rest of us continue the festivities _safely_ in our respective dormitories."

With that, Dumbledore dismissed the students, who began shuffling out of the hall.

"And will Misters Potter, Black—the Gryffindor Black, sorry, yours is fine, Horace—Lupin, and Pettigrew report to my office and wait for me there _immediately?"_ McGonagall added, looking quite unamused.

"I'd better stick around and help put the fires out. _Take him to the hospital wing_ ," Emma said, turning her heel and heading to where Frank was speaking with Dumbledore.

"This is so stupid," Mulciber mumbled.

"Fine, I'll take him," Lily said, grabbing Severus by the arm and dragging him away.

" _Aw, Evans is taking care of her ickle baby!"_

" _Ickle baby Severus can't walk to the hospital wing alone!"_

"Ignore them," Lily said.

"I told you that if you got involved it would look like I can't take care of myself," Severus said, still being dragged out of the great hall by the girl.

"You were just being chased by three giant jack-o-lanterns that three different people had to get rid of, it's okay to be a bit in over your head," Lily said. "What's _not_ okay is refusing to go to the hospital wing because of what? Pride?"

Severus wasn't listening. They were in the entrance hall and he pulled his arm from Lily's grasp, eyes fixed on a group of four boys, still holding their sides from laughter. He pulled out his wand.

Lily's eyes darted from James back to Severus. "Sev, d—!"

" _Levicorpus!"_

A crowd stopped to watch as James was hoisted by his ankle into the air.

"You think you're so funny!" Severus shouted at the baffled James, reaching for his glasses to keep them properly on his face.

"Did you not hear the others laughing?" James said casually.

"You set me on fire!" Severus snarled.

"To be fair, that was not supposed to happen," James shrugged.

"I imagine it's the excessive grease on your person," Sirius said, his wand out and pointed to Severus. "You're more flammable than those of us that shower regularly, we should have taken that into account."

Scattered laughs were heard throughout the crowd.

"Put him down, Snape," Remus said.

"Or what, detention? Some prefect you are, I'm sure you had _no idea_ they were setting this up, huh? Or were you _out sick_ when they planned it?" Severus sneered.

"Sev, put him down. You get him back, he gets you back, you get him back again, _it'll never end_ unless one of you ends it," Lily said.

"Well. It looks like you and Remus have this under control," Emmeline said as she appeared next to Lily, having shoved her way through the crowd with Dorcas and Marlene, who seemed pleased to just watch the show. James seemed more unamused than anything, his face slowly turning red from blood rushing there.

Lily cast Emmeline a glare, indicating that she wasn't exactly helping.

"Severus, put him down," Emmeline said. "McGonagall's gonna give them detention, what more do you want?"

"Soap, self-esteem, a girlfriend, clothes that fit, a clue—" James began listing.

Severus jerked his wand, which left James shaking like a rag doll. He kept a tight grip on his glasses, letting out a panicked yell at the sudden motion.

" _I'll_ give you detention, Sev, if you don't put him down," Lily said.

"He started it," Severus said, jerking his wand again.

"You know the counter-curse for this?" Sirius was saying to Remus.

"No, I caught some third years doing it the other day but I didn't catch how they reversed it," Remus said.

"Be the bigger person, _put him down_ ," Lily said.

"You're talking to the wrong house, Evans," James said in a sing-song voice.

"Shut _up_ , Potter," Lily said.

"This is so stupid, put him down," Emmeline said. When Severus continued to ignore her, she pulled out her own wand and cleared her throat. _"Liberacorpus!"_

James immediately fell, landing unceremoniously atop Peter, who had rushed forward in an attempt to catch him.

"How'd _you_ know the counter-curse?" Remus said.

"People talk loudly around me," Emmeline shrugged. She turned back to Severus. "Detention this weekend."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Severus said.

"I told you to put him down twice, Lily told you to put him down, and Remus told you to put him down and you didn't. So, yeah. Detention," Emmeline said.

"Amazing," Severus said, still tightly gripping his wand, teeth clenched. "You see, Lily, people will do anything to protect precious _Potter_ and his friends."

"Sev, they were heading to McGonagall's office to get their punishment, _you_ decided to attack them instead of letting her deal with it," Lily said, arms crossed. "And now you've got _me_ defending them, which I never wanted to do."

"Detention won't work on those idiots," Severus said, pointing violently in their direction. "It never has!"

"So you're gonna dangle us from our ankles? That'll show us," Sirius snorted.

There was a flash of light and Sirius crashed backward into the wall, Severus having delivered the spell that put him there. James was quick to step forward, whipping out his own wand and throwing a spell right back at Severus, whose face suddenly began breaking out into boils.

In what felt like a few seconds it was an all-out duel in the corridor. Sirius' robes fell apart at the seams. Severus' hair began to fall out rapidly. James was suddenly incapable of keeping his balance, slipping as though he were standing on ice. Sirius suddenly had a black eye. Severus sneezed and a canary flew out from his left nostril.

Emmeline grabbed Remus by the arm and dragged him over to where Lily was so that she could speak to both of them. "Remus, disarm Sirius, Lily, you disarm James. I'll get Severus."

James, Sirius, and Severus were so concerned with causing discomfort to each other that they didn't notice the three prefects lifting their wands as well.

Three calls of "Expelliarmus!" and the prefects were each holding an extra wand in their hands, the duel at an end as quickly as it began.

"Here," Lily said, handing James' wand to Remus. "You all just need to get to McGonagall's office. Now."

"Right," Remus sighed. "Lemme counter-curse them and we'll go."

"I'll go with you, make sure nothing else stupid happens. You'd better get Severus to the hospital wing, Lily," Emmeline sighed.

"What are you lot looking at? Show's over, get to your dorms!" Lily was shouting at the crowd that had stopped to watch. The students shuffled off, laughing and mumbling to themselves.

* * *

Lily watched, her arms crossed before her as Madam Promfrey grew back the hair that had been cursed away on Severus' head. She had already cleared up his boils and treated him for a few minor burns. She said that he should stop producing canaries when he sneezed by morning.

"There, it looks like it matches the rest of it, hm?" Madam Promfrey said, stepping back to examine Severus' hair. Lily nodded, though still frowning.

"You're free to go, Mr. Snape. Miss Evans, please escort him to his dormitory, I don't want any _more_ injuries tonight," the mediwitch said.

"I will. You might see Sirius Black later for his black eye," Lily warned.

"They've hurt themselves enough, I think they've learned to fix at least that. If not, it's a simple enough fix. A simpler fix would be for the students to refrain from hexing each other," Madam Promfrey sighed, stepping away to tend to a student whose head was stuck in a hollowed out pumpkin, her friends laughing nearby.

"Come on, then," Lily said, starting off toward the door before Severus could even stand upright. He caught up with her quickly, being taller and having longer legs.

"Don't be that way, Lily," he said. "You know they deserved it and you know Vance was out of line for giving _me_ detention like I'm not supposed to react to what they did."

"Emmeline did what she was supposed to do as a prefect," Lily said. "She saw harassment in the corridor and ended it."

Shy, anxious Emmeline had managed to do what Lily and Remus were hesitant to. Lily supposed it was due to Emmeline's lack of emotional attachment to either Severus or the Marauders.

"She was protecting those gits. Like _everyone_ always does," Severus scowled. He paused a moment to sneeze, another canary fluttering away.

"Sev, people tried protecting _you_ from their prank. Frank and Emma took out two of those jack-o-lanterns. Emma put out the fire on your robes. You act like everyone in this school would love to see you suffer if it meant protecting Potter and Black," Lily said.

"Yeah, well, it sure feels like it," Severus said.

"I get why you're upset. I'm mad at them, too, but you've retaliated _so many_ times and it always ends with all of you in trouble and then it starts up again," Lily said.

"So I'm supposed to just let them ruin my life?" Severus frowned.

"No, but—"

"Dumbledore and the professors don't _care_ , Lily. They'll keep getting slaps on the wrist, they'll keep getting away with it because Potter is good at Quidditch, which in this school is enough to excuse anything, people think Black is charming, and they both come from money," Severus said, stopping in their descent of the stairs for this rant. Lily stood a few steps above him, brow furrowed.

"You can't _honestly_ believe—" she started.

"Think about it, Lily, would anyone bend over backward to excuse them if they were ugly, poor, and bad at flying?" Severus said.

"It's not like no one _tries_ to punish them, Sev," Lily said.

" _And it doesn't work,"_ Severus said.

"So you hex them? Is that better?"

"It's _something."_

"It's sinking to their level. You're better than hexing people in the corridor, Sev, you're better than James Potter," Lily said. "You _know_ it won't fix anything, it won't stop him. He likes getting a rise out of people."

"It's my only option!" Severus exclaimed, frustrated. He suddenly sneezed again, a canary rushing away.

"No, it's not! Stop acknowledging him! Stop retaliating! He doesn't know how to deal with being ignored, you'll be a boring target!" Lily said.

"So, what, he'll just move on to someone else after all these years?" Severus rolled his eyes.

"Maybe! I just need you to get through the rest of school without killing each other and then we'll leave and you never have to think of James Potter ever again," Lily said.

"While he goes off to live off his trust fund," Severus sneered, starting down the stairs again.

"Merlin, _who cares?_ He's good at Quidditch, he has money, it has _nothing_ to do with you, Sev. Let him be a stupid, rich jock. You don't have to best him to be happy, just _be happy_ ," Lily said, walking after him.

"Wow, why didn't I every try just _being_ happy before? I'll be sure to pass on your brilliant advice to my mother the next time my father is shouting at her," Severus said.

Lily's heart sank. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Sure."

"Sev! I'm just saying, you spend so much time obsessing over James Potter and what he's doing or what he has and it isn't healthy. You're giving him so much control over your self-worth. If you just… accept that he's not going to change, he's not going to ever realize he's wrong, he's always going to just _be_ James Potter, and stop worrying about him, stop thinking about him and comparing the two of you, I think you'd feel better. You're great at potions, you create your own spells, you don't need to best him, just focus on _your_ accomplishments. Be happy _despite_ him."

"You make it sound like I'm jealous!" Severus said, insulted.

"I think you're mad that life worked out for him in ways it didn't for you," Lily said softly. "He doesn't know suffering, Sev, he doesn't know real problems and he honestly probably never will. And that's infuriating but we can't change the cards we've been dealt. Hexing James Potter won't make you happier."

"You don't know it won't," Severus said.

"It hasn't worked yet," she pointed out.

"I don't want anything he's got! I never will. I hate him because he's an arse and wants me to be miserable, and I just want to see him _actually_ sorry for it. Once," Severus said, his words dripping with venom as he explained.

"He won't be. He never will be. Just… accept it. Don't let him control you," Lily said. "I just want you to be happy."

"And _I_ just want him to get what's coming to him. I want to even the playing field," he said.

"You _won't."_

"I _can."_

"Don't. Don't keep sinking to their level, please."

Severus didn't respond. Lily sighed. They walked the rest of the way to the dungeons in silence.

* * *

Festivities had continued on in the common room, and on one of the couches near the fire, Marlene had convinced the Marauders to play Bertie Bott's roulette with her, having not been able to finish her earlier game with Emmeline.

"So, what's the damage?" Marlene asked as she popped a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean in Sirius' open mouth, his eyes closed.

"A week's detention. Except for Sirius and I, we got two for dueling," James shrugged.

"Peppermint!" Sirius said triumphantly, chewing the bean in question.

"Oh, fuck you, that's the third blank you've gotten!" Marlene said.

"Just name the place and the time, McKinnon," Sirius said with a wink. "But yeah, we'll be spending the next two weeks scrubbing cauldrons."

"Don't worry, though, we'll still have time for Quidditch practice," James nodded.

"Em only gave Severus the weekend," Marlene frowned.

"That was for not letting James down, McGonagall said he'd be getting an extra week for dueling, too," Remus said, standing behind the couch and leaning against it. "I should've stopped you lot before it got that far."

"He cast the first spell," Sirius shrugged, popping a bean into Peter's open mouth.

"Because we sent enchanted—" Remus started.

"Hot pepper! _Really_ hot pepper!" Peter squeaked, his arms flailing a bit.

"—jack-o-lanterns after him. I _told_ you guys to lay off the fire," Remus finished.

"Everyone's fine, it wasn't that serious," James said.

"I mean, I was there so it was _somewhat—"_ Sirius began.

"I hate your name with a passion," James sighed.

"Spit it out and you lose, Pettigrew," Marlene said to the now-sweating Peter.

"My tongue is going numb," he said, in clear pain.

"You're a spice lightweight, though, you can hardly handle _salt_ ," Sirius said.

"I can handle salt!" Peter protested. He opened his mouth, moving his tongue to show he had swallowed the bean.

"He's good!" Marlene declared.

"Anyway, we're just lucky it didn't get any more out of hand than it did… some day I'm afraid we're gonna push Snape too far," Remus said.

"Ooh, I'm scared," James laughed.

"I dunno, Jim, he knows a lot of dark spells," Marlene pointed out.

"That doesn't stop _you_ being rude to him," Peter pointed out.

"Yes, but Severus and I have shared custody of our best friend, Lily, who would be pretty pissed if he hexed me. I also have three large older brothers that aren't that intimidating in reality but people seem to believe the contrary. You have no such insurance," Marlene explained.

"Excuse you, I _do_ have three brothers you'd have to be daft to mess with," James said, gesturing to the other Marauders.

Marlene put her hands over her heart. _"Awww!_ You guys love each other!"

"Well, don't say it all high-pitched like that," Sirius cringed.

"That's precious!" Marlene cooed.

"We are not _precious,_ we are badass, we are—" James started.

"I dunno, we're kinda precious," Remus snickered.

"You guys gave each other code names," Marlene said. "And a name to refer to all of you at once. That's pretty precious."

"Hey, Remus, it's your turn," James said, attempting to draw attention away from how precious they may or may not be. He grabbed another bean from the package and tossed it for Remus to catch in his mouth, which he did. The boys had spent more time than they would like to admit practicing this skill.

Remus gagged almost immediately. "Sour milk! I can't!"

He spit the candy out at once.

"We have a loser!" Marlene cheered.

"Oh, it's so bad," Remus cringed, the taste still in his mouth.

"And now you get to eat ten at once," Sirius grinned.

"Wow, I wonder why Lily won't play this with you," Remus mumbled.

"Let's see, two, four," Marlene said, counting out beans from the package. She set them in Remus' open palm. "There you are, ten."

Remus glared down at the beans in his hand of various colors, some that _appeared_ safe, and some he was quite concerned about.

"Should we get you a bucket ready?" James said, amused.

"True friends bring buckets," Marlene nodded.

"Do you know that from experience?" Peter asked.

"Yes, actually," Marlene said.

"I think I can handle it," Remus cringed. The portrait hole swung open and Lily slipped silently inside.

"All right, Evans?" James called, no longer as fascinated with Remus' task at hand as he'd been seconds earlier.

"C'mere! Remus just lost Bertie Bott's Roulette," Marlene called.

"I'm going to bed," Lily called over her shoulder as she moved trough the crowd toward the girl's dorm.

"She upset?" Peter asked.

"She's _always_ upset after spending time with Severus anymore," Marlene said with a frown. "I'll check on her… _after_ Remus eats his beans."

All eyes were on Remus again, who swore softly under his breath as he gazed into his palm again.

"Count of three, Moony," Sirius said.

"Fine," Remus sighed.

"One, two, three!" the others chanted. Remus shoved the beans into his mouth and began to chew, an unpleasant expression on his face.

"Tell us about it," Marlene said, as though asking someone to talk about their recent vacation. She rested her chin in her hands, intrigued.

"There's like, a burnt marshmallow one that's really strong, and it's mixing super weird with… salmon?" Remus said, chewing quickly to get this experience overwith. "And I think I got earwax mixed in there, too. And cherry."

"Cherry isn't bad," Peter said.

"Cherry cough syrup," Remus clarified.

"Oh, never mind," Peter cringed.

"I think there's one that's just butter," Remus said, still chewing, setting his hand over his mouth. "Gotta say, it's pretty awful."

"Sure you don't need a bucket?" James said, chuckling softly.

Remus nodded, powering through another few chews before swallowing hard. He opened his mouth to show that he had completed the task. The others cheered.

"You're a good sport, Lupin," Marlene said, standing up. "I'm heading off to the dorm, though."

* * *

Lily had washed her face and changed into her pajamas by the time Marlene walked in. The other girls were still in the common room enjoying the festivities.

"Hey," Marlene said, plopping down on Lily's bed beside the girl currently brushing her hair.

"Hey," Lily said.

"What did Severus say now?" Marlene asked, getting straight to the point.

"I just… I don't know, I get so frustrated with him, and then I wonder if maybe he's right and I'm being too harsh about all this," Lily sighed, setting aside her hairbrush.

"Right about what?" Marlene asked.

"He thinks that the only way to get Potter and the others off his back is to punish them himself," Lily said.

"Kinky," said Marlene.

" _Marly,"_ Lily groaned.

"Sorry, couldn't help it," Marlene grinned. "Why does he think he gets to be judge, jury, and executioner, then?"

"He says that the detentions don't matter and they'll never stop unless he stops them."

"Well, that's worked out _great_ so far," Marlene said sarcastically.

"That's what _I_ told him! I told him to ignore them, don't feed into it, they'll get bored."

"I mean, either that or they'd see it as a challenge. But it's reasonable advice anyway, they're bored easily, and Severus is fun to mess with. If he stopped being fun to bother… maybe."

" _Is_ it reasonable, though? For me to tell him not to defend himself?"

"At that moment, it wasn't about self-defense, it was about revenge. Which, is all well and good, just don't act like it's _not_ revenge," Marlene said, standing up and heading for the bathroom. "I'm still listening, by the way, I just have to brush all this sugar off my teeth."

Lily got up as well and leaned against the washroom doorway as Marlene took her toothbrush from the holder.

"Okay, but he's got a point. When has detention _ever_ made them stop anything?" the redhead said.

"When has _hexing them_ made them stop anything?" Marlene countered. "They stop when someone they respect gets pissed enough or they get bored."

"I just, I wish they'd stop picking on him in particular. It's the same thing every year," Lily sighed.

"'e ees eh en," Marlene said, mid-tooth brushing.

"Eeh-eeh-eeh!" Lily mocked, indicating she had no idea what Marlene said.

Marlene turned to spit in the sink. "I said, 'He eggs them on.' They all do, but especially Severus and James. One of _them_ has to end it or they'll just keep going on forever and ever until their _grandkids_ hate each other… which I guess means _your_ grandkids will hate his."

"I hate that Emmeline told you and Dorcas about that, I am _not_ having James Potter's kid," Lily groaned.

"Yeah well, that aside, someone would have to actually have sex with Severus for him to have children so that's probably not happening either," Marlene shrugged before brushing at her teeth again.

"Anyway, I _told_ him it would just keep going," Lily said.

"And it will," Marlene said, spitting in the sink again. "And he won't listen to you because boys are idiots and they're like, 'GRR! TESTOSTERONE! I will assert my dominance through duels! And physical force! There's no way this could go wrong! GRR!'"

"Ugh, I know. Why can't they just attack each other emotionally like we do?" Lily lamented. "Although, you _did_ hit Murphy over the head with your broomstick last year."

"There are exceptions to every rule," Marlene shrugged. "Anyway, don't stay up all night worrying about Severus."

"He got all mad because I implied he envied Potter," Lily frowned.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "He _does._ Everyone can tell."

"I just want him to be happy and if he could put this behind him, I think he could be."

Marlene filled a goblet with water and rinsed out her mouth. Wiping water from her chin, she said, "Sure he could. But he won't."


	14. Little High, Little Low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work sucks but at least I still have fanfic. Hope you guys like this one, next one is quidditch!

" _Slytherin table's over there."_

" _I'm not lost."_

* * *

 It was a very important Monday.

James had been sure to wake up early and sneak to both Remus and Peter's beds to wake them as well. They carefully pulled back the curtains around Sirius' bed, revealing his slumbering form, his covers half kicked off and his hair askew (but it was Sirius, so it was askew in an aesthetically pleasing way, somehow).

"On three," James whispered, taking hold of the edge of the mattress. Remus and Peter did the same. "One, two, three!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they shouted, lifting Sirius' mattress upwards and sending the startled boy spiraling to the ground.

Tangled in the blankets, Sirius struggled for a moment to sit upright, looking around in confusion. "Huh, what?"

"Oh, it's the birthday git!" Peter sang.

"He's looking rather fit!" sang James.

"Too bad he's so ancient!" joined Remus.

" _Iiiiiiiit's the birthday git!"_ the three finished with a flourish.

"Thanks, but the birthday git is _so tired,"_ Sirius said mid-yawn, climbing back on top of his bed.

"Well, I mean, if you don't _want_ your gifts now," James said. Sirius' tired eyes lit up.

"I didn't say that!" he said at once.

"That's what we figured," James grinned. He, Peter, and Remus walked back to their respective beds to fetch their gifts for their friend.

"Here you go," James said, setting down two boxes before Sirius. "The big one came for you last week."

Sirius checked the tag. "'From Mum and Dad?'"

Remus and Peter each exchanged puzzled looks.

"Yeah, Mum wrote me ages ago asking what you wanted," James said with a roll of the eye.

"Oh!" Sirius said, understanding now. "So it's from Euphemia and Fleamont."

"Yeah, _Mum and Dad_ ," James nodded. Sirius grinned at the thought, and began tearing at the wrapping paper, revealing an unmarked box.

"It feels very light," Sirius said, shaking the box slightly hoping for clues.

"Mum always charms the boxes when she sends anything large to be easier on Hippolyta," James said, referring to his owl. She was not currently in her cage, likely on another mail run.

He opened the box to reveal a mechanical-looking something or another, with lots of metal tube-like things attached.

"They got you… a paper weight!" Peter said.

"They got me a motorbike engine!" Sirius said, lifting it from the enchanted box and finding it to be, in fact, quite heavy. "Holy shit how did they even get this?"

"I have no idea, but I imagine whoever sold it to them probably charged them more than it's worth considering they don't know anything about it," James cringed as Sirius turned it over in his hands. "I told them you were looking for parts for your motorcycle and where to find the model number and everything, I didn't expect they'd get you the _engine._ "

"They probably paid more for this than what I paid for the bike," Sirius said, eyes never leaving the device.

"Maybe it'll actually, you know, _move_ now," Remus said.

"There's a note," Peter said, fishing it out of the box. Sirius set the engine back in said box before taking the note.

"Dear Sirius," he read aloud. "We got James a new broom for his last birthday, and he said that you were quite okay with the one you have, so we thought this part for your motorbike would be the next best thing. The man at the shop was very helpful and said that this was the most important part to a motorbike. He also gave us a series of numbers that he said we could use to contact him if you needed help installing it. We're not sure how these numbers can be used to contact anyone, but I'm sure we can ask around and figure it out, it's probably a muggle thing. We hope we got you the right one, and please do not worry about the cost! We love supporting your and James' interests. We hope you have an excellent birthday, try not to get into too much trouble. Lots of love, Mum and Dad."

"Well, the rest of our gifts are going to pale in comparison, I'm afraid," Remus said.

"I can't believe they got me an engine," Sirius said, admiring it again. "I mean there's still so much I have to fix on it but _an engine!"_

"Your parents don't know _anything_ about muggle laws when it comes to vehicles, do they?" Remus said to James. Sirius was unlicensed, and the bike was unregistered and likely stolen.

"Oh not at all," James grinned, shaking his head. "Anyway, open your other gifts, mate."

Sirius reached for Peter's gift next, tearing at the paper to reveal a case of chocolate frogs along with a handwritten note promising that Peter would not steal any of them. "I'm going to hold you to this," Sirius said, waving the note in front of Peter's face.

"I still have the muggle sweets I got from AJ, so I should be able to resist," Peter nodded.

Next was James' gift, from a much smaller box than the one his parents had sent. Sirius opened it to reveal a pair of black, fingerless riding gloves.

"Oh, these are cool!" Sirius said, sliding them on and finding that they fit rather well. "They'll look great with my jacket, too. Oh, fuck, I can't wait to get that motorcycle working."

"Glad you like them," James said.

Last up was Remus' gift. Sirius lifted the flat, square package. "Hmm… This is roughly the size of a seven inch single."

"Just open it," Remus grinned.

Sirius tore at the paper to find that he was correct, his eyes lighting up as soon as he revealed the image of four men with long, shaggy hair. "The new Queen single! Where'd you get it? How'd you get it?"

"Got it from Abhijeet," Remus said.

"I asked him over the weekend if he'd gotten it and he said he hadn't!" Sirius said, sliding the vinyl record out of the packaging.

"Yeah, I gave him five extra sickles not to sell you one, too," Remus said. "And Emmeline got one the same time I did, so I asked her not to mention it around you."

"Well, it's not like Vance talks much," Sirius shrugged.

"She does sometimes," James said.

"Not around me. I think she might hate me but I'm not sure what I did? Ah well, no loss," Sirius said, adjusting the time on his record player and setting the record in place.

"What's the song called?" Peter asked, plopping down on his bed again.

"'Bohemian Rhapsody,' Emmeline said she wasn't sure what to think of it for the first minute or so and then it got better," Remus said. "She also said she played it all night and her roommates hate her now."

"Glad you got it for Padfoot then," Peter said.

"The first minute or so she wasn't sure about? How long is it?" James asked.

"Something like, six minutes?" Remus said, picking up the packaging and examining the track listing.

" _Six minutes?"_ James repeated.

"Yeah, Queen does that sometimes, Freddie Mercury can do whatever the fuck he wants, now _shh,"_ Sirius said, dropping the needle into place. After a few crackles, the track started with harmonized voices filling their dorm room.

James, Remus, and Peter remained quiet, not daring interrupt Sirius' first listen of this song. He was watching the record spin intently, music being one of a few things he was always willing to give his undivided attention.

The song seemed to be very stripped down and more of a ballad, until about the three minute mark when it got a bit bouncier and more instruments came in.

Then, at about the four minute mark, the guitars really kicked in. The boys nodded along to the music, listening carefully to each word and chord.

And at last, with a few piano keys and a bit more harmonizing, it was done, and Sirius lifted the needle from the record.

"It was pretty good," James nodded.

"It was an _experience!_ That was like five songs mashed together! It was—! And then—! We're listening to it again," Sirius said, setting the needle back to the start.

"You know there's a b-side too," Remus pointed out with a grin.

"In a bit, I need to listen to this again," Sirius said as the song started up once more.

"We need to start getting ready for class, too," James said.

"We can listen and get dressed at the same time, _shhh,"_ Sirius said. After a second he glanced back at the others and said, "And thanks, by the way, guys, these are all really nice gifts."

"You're welcome, mate," Remus said.

"Happy Birthday, Padfoot," said Peter.

"Happy Birthday, Git," James said.

* * *

 

Students at breakfast were groggy and slightly grumpy, as was the norm on Monday mornings. Sirius was piling more bacon than any person actually needed to eat in one sitting onto his plate when a blur of blonde flew across his vision and suddenly a chaste kiss was set to his cheek.

"Good morning to you, too, McKinnon," Sirius grinned once he realized it was her. Lily, Dorcas, and Emmeline weren't far behind, rolling their eyes at the display.

"Thank you. Thank you for being born," she said, putting her arm around his shoulder in a strange half-hug.

"I didn't know I meant that much to you," he said, hand on his heart.

"You don't, but it's the only night until the match that we don't have Quidditch Practice, so _thank you_ ," Marlene said.

" _Oh,"_ Sirius said, glancing James' way.

"Well I can't properly harass you if I have to practice Quidditch for two hours of today," James said. "So we'll go three hours tomorrow and the next day to make up for it."

" _Come on,_ we've got this!" Marlene whined at the idea of three hour practices.

"We've got this because we're practicing," James shrugged.

"Happy Birthday, Sirius," Dorcas said cheerfully, taking a few steps down the table and taking a seat. Lily joined her without a word.

"Oh, we listened to 'Bohemian Rhapsody' this morning, Em," Remus said.

"Oh my _God,"_ Emmeline said softly, hands over her heart.

"She hasn't shut up about it all weekend," Marlene said with a roll of the eye, climbing under the table in order to pop up on the other side beside James.

"Because it's—it's—" Emmeline said, trying to find the words.

"It's a religious experience," Sirius said, starting at his bacon. Emmeline simply nodded.

"Okay, if you say so," Marlene smiled. Emmeline elected to walk _around_ the table, rather than crawling under it, and eventually arrived beside Marlene and took a seat as well.

"Yeah we weren't allowed to talk all morning once he started playing it over and over," Peter said.

"We know that feeling," Lily said, casting a pointed glance at Emmeline.

"God forbid you interrupt her when she's listening to Bowie," Dorcas snorted.

"Oh yeah, I tried once and she was all, 'I don't know what you could possibly have to say to me that's more important than David Bowie singing about Diamond Dogs right now,'" Marlene snickered.

"That's another six minute song! At least that punk stuff is short," Remus said.

"They don't get it," Sirius said, shaking his head. Emmeline smiled and nodded.

There was a bit of discord from above as owls began to glide inside with the mail. Sirius' face fell as he recognized the scops owl that belonged to his parents. The owl dropped a single envelope at his plate before flying off.

"Let's get it over-with," Sirius sighed, popping open the wax seal.

"At least it's not a howler," Peter offered.

Sirius pulled out a plain card, with a simple illustration of Canis Major printed on the front. He cautiously opened it before sighing heavily in relief. "It's fine."

"Lemme see," James said, reaching to take the card from Sirius. Marlene leaned over to see.

"'Happy Birthday, from Mum and Dad,'" Marlene read. "Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Black, don't go getting too sentimental there."

"It's actually really nice coming from them," James said.

"Yeah, my parents don't like me," Sirius said casually.

"I'm sure that's not true," Dorcas said.

"It's true," all four Marauders said at once. The girls each cringed at the thought.

"Why don't they like you? Really strict about the detentions?" Dorcas asked.

"Well, that's _part_ of it, the rest of it can be summed up in that I'm dragging the Black family name through the mud by hanging out with blood traitors," Sirius said. James held up his hand for a high-five, being one of said blood traitors. Sirius gladly obliged.

"Yikes," Marlene said.

"My mum's parents are like that," Dorcas commented.

"But they're muggles, aren't they?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, muggles are plenty prejudice too. My mum's family disowned her when she ran off and married my dad because he's black," Dorcas said. "So my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on that side? I've never met them. Even a lot of my dad's family clearly don't approve."

"It's all so stupid," Lily mumbled.

"I _will_ say I haven't been disowned," Sirius said.

"Yet," Remus added.

"Yet," Sirius nodded.

"Speaking of your family," James said, gesturing behind Sirius. The boy turned to find his younger brother, Regulus, walking his way. Regulus and Sirius bore a striking resemblance, though Sirius was often regarded as the better looking of the two, which Remus often commented couldn't have been fun for Regulus to hear.

"Slytherin table's over there," Sirius commented, gesturing to the opposite end of the hall.

"I'm not lost," Regulus said, casually flicking bangs from his eyes. His hair fell just as nicely as Sirius' did. He held a box out to Sirius, who eyed it suspiciously. "Happy Birthday."

"What is it?" Sirius said, prodding at the box cautiously.

"The whole point is you open it and find out," Regulus said with a roll of the eye.

"Okay but is it going to cause me physical harm if I do?" Sirius questioned.

" _No,"_ Regulus sighed.

Still skeptical, Sirius gently took the box from his brother before setting it down on the table. He opened it to reveal a hardcover book titled _The Noble Sport of Warlocks_ by Quintius Umfraville.

"Huh," Sirius said, taking it out and turning it over to glance at the back.

"It's about Quidditch. It's actually quite interesting," Regulus nodded.

"Well, thanks," Sirius said.

"Yeah," Regulus said. "Happy Birthday."

Without another word, Regulus walked off, heading for the Slytherin table.

"Well, look, your brother likes you," Dorcas said.

"News to me," Sirius said, flipping through the book a bit. "Plus I've already read this but I didn't want to tell _him_ that."

"I mean, he knows you like Quidditch and got you something related to that, so, it's something," Remus said. Sirius nodded, setting the book back in the box.

"Better than the book your parents got you for Christmas last year," James said.

"What was that?" Dorcas asked.

"It was called _When Muggles Attack_ ," Sirius said. "But Regulus doesn't tend to want to start fights with me, so."

"Your family sounds—er—" Lily started.

"Terrible, you can say it," Sirius shrugged.

"So, you're not gonna read this, then?" Marlene said, pulling the box closer to her.

"Go for it," said Sirius.

* * *

 

Professor MacPherson's class had not gotten any more tolerable to sit through since Frank, Alice, and Remus began their study groups. On the contrary, MacPherson seemed to view the study groups as a challenge to his authority in his classroom and had grown more and more passive aggressive toward those three students ever since they had begun.

The biggest change was Remus speaking up less and less, knowing that he could give the proper information at the study group later, but even this seemed to prompt irritation from MacPherson who noticed every time Remus sighed heavily or rolled his eyes at something the professor said.

So, truthfully, the amount of verbal spars that Remus got into with the professor had not decreased. Gryffindor's points in the house cup, however, had. By a lot.

Thankfully, today was a practical lesson, in which students were each given a fish bowl in order to practice _diminuendo_ on a moving target. Most of the students spent the lesson quite bored, shrinking and un-shrinking their goldfish with a spell that Remus had already gone over the previous week.

This irritated Professor MacPherson as well.

"I don't know why he's so bent out of shape," James whispered to Remus as they each watched MacPherson glare from his desk. "It's not like you taught us that spell on purpose to undermine him."

"Actually, this time I did," Remus whispered back.

"Oh, nice, never mind then," James laughed.

"This is stupid. I can cast the spell, yeah, but when am I ever going to need to do so on a fish for the sake of my safety?" Sirius sighed, watching the fish he had shrunk swimming about in their bowl.

"Shark attack," Peter whispered very seriously. "Like in 'Jaws.'"

"I should have never taken you idiots to see that movie," Remus whispered. "Sharks don't do that."

"They clearly do, they have it on film!" Peter said.

"It wasn't a real shark, Pete," Remus said.

"If it was a make-believe shark, then how did they film it, Remus?" James said.

"It wasn't make-believe, it was a machine," Remus said.

"Can any machine do that? Should I be concerned about the motorbike engine?" Sirius asked.

"No, no, the mechanical shark was made specifically for that purpose, it's a prop," said Remus. "Your motorbike engine is not going to attack you."

"And if it does, I mean, you'll hear the music first," James grinned. "Duh-nuh! Duh-nuh!"

"Is your conversation relevant to the lesson?" MacPherson called to the four boys.

"Yes, Professor!" Peter called back.

"To it's practical application, sir!" Sirius added.

"I am willing to bet money that you will never need to use this spell on a shark, Black," Lily said from the row before them.

"You don't know, Evans, you don't know for sure," Sirius said.

"Maybe you can ask your pendulum in divination," Marlene snickered. Emmeline laughed as well and Lily hissed for both of them to shut up.

"Aw, man, we're missing out on a joke here," James said.

"It's nothing," Lily said. The other two girls laughed again.

"Sharks aren't interested in eating people, if they bite you, it's just to see what you are," Remus said. "Then they realize you're not worth eating and move on."

"Yeah I don't want a shark _biting_ me either," Sirius said.

"You're not going to be bitten by a shark, it's more likely you get struck by lightning," Lily said.

"Should be noted that Lily only looked all this up after seeing that movie," Marlene said.

"Shut up, Marly," Lily said. "You watched it through your fingers."

"Yeah, a shark was attacking people!" the blonde replied.

Professor MacPherson cleared his throat, eying their group with great annoyance as he did to cast silence over the class. He held a stack of parchment in his hand.

"I have your essays to return to you," he said, beginning around the class, setting parchment face down before their respective authors. "I would like to remind many of you, _again,_ that the writing assignments in this class are based on material we go over in class, _not_ on supplemental information you may be getting from someone unqualified for teaching this subject."

"That joke is too easy to make, yeah?" James mumbled to Sirius.

"Yeah, we'll let him have that one," Sirius nodded.

MacPherson returned each of their essays and returned to his seat. James glanced at his to find that he had received an Acceptable. Sirius and Peter had as well. Remus held up his essay to them, displaying a large D, for Dreadful, at the top. The others winced. Remus had never gotten a grade that poor before.

"He's going to try and fail me," Remus said.

"Well, luckily, your grade in this class doesn't matter as much as your score on the O.W.L.s," James said, "And I assume the people evaluating those exams _are_ competent."

"Plus, none of our other Professors have made it past a year, you think this wanker will?" Sirius whispered.

"I sure hope not," Remus mumbled. "I don't know how I got a D, though, except for the fact that he just doesn't like me."

"You should talk to him about it, he can't just give you a bad grade because he doesn't like you," Lily whispered.

"Yeah, he probably doesn't think you're going to call him out on it," Emmeline added.

"What did you get?" Remus asked.

"E," Marlene said.

"E," said Lily.

"E," Emmeline said.

"How'd you lot get an Exceeds Expectations, then?" Sirius said.

"We wrote what he wanted to read, not what Remus taught us," Lily said.

"I told you guys, professors like this, you have to write what _they_ want, even if you know it's dragon shit," Marlene said.

"I don't think I _can_ bring myself to do that," Remus said.

"And that's admirable," Emmeline said to the boy, "But I also want to be able to face my father when my grades get sent home."

"Yeah, my parents aren't as intense as Emmeline's but they'll kick up a fuss if I get too many 'Acceptables,'" Marlene said.

"My parents don't understand the wizard grading system," Lily smiled.

"Not that it matters, you get all O's and E's anyway," Marlene said.

"Yeah, well, my parents are already disappointed in me," Sirius shrugged. "A few bad grades can't make it worse."

"My mother is just glad I'm passing," said Peter.

"For Merlin's sake," Remus said, glancing over his essay. "He marked me down for 'pretentious word choice'."

"What did you say?" James said, leaning over to read that portion of Remus' essay. "Okay, that's somewhat pretentious."

"It is not!" said Remus.

"Who uses the term 'fait accompli' casually?" James said.

"Whatever, I still shouldn't have been marked down for that," Remus said, getting to his feet and walking to the front of the class where MacPherson had returned to his desk to complete some more grading.

Remus set his essay down on the desk and began speaking with MacPherson in tones too soft for the others to hear. MacPherson leaned back in his seat, arms crossed before him and looking smug as Remus pointed out marks on his essay and continued talking.

MacPherson then spoke, still so soft that the others could not hear, pointing at different parts of the essay as well. Remus sighed heavily and pointed at the parchment again, this time far more aggressively.

MacPherson shrugged, mumbled one last statement, and gestured for Remus to go back to his seat.

"Well?" Lily asked when Remus slumped back down.

" _Well, Mr. Lupin, I have given you extensive feedback similar to this on your last several essays, and as you have chosen not to follow it, I felt the best thing to do was to lower your grade until you learn to produce work that is up to my standard,"_ Remus said mockingly.

"Sounds like you're gonna have to start writing what he wants to read," Marlene said in a sing-song voice.

"This is ridiculous, everything in my essay is fact-checked, I even cited my sources!" Remus groaned.

"Maybe you should take it up with Dumbledore," Lily said.

"Or McGonagall again," said Marlene.

"It won't help my grade in _this_ class any," Remus sighed.

James clapped Remus on the back sympathetically. "Just pass the O.W.L.s, none of this will matter in a year."

"Yeah, try explaining that to _my_ dad," Remus mumbled.

"I will. I will go up to him and say, 'Mr. Lupin, our professor this term is a git that has it out for your son,' and I will present witnesses to confirm this," James said with a curt nod.

"We'll provide visual aids," Peter said.

"We'll make charts," said James.

"And perform reenactments," Sirius grinned.

Remus smiled. "Thanks, guys."


	15. Gryffindor vs Slytherin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sort of short chapter this time, but that's only because the next one is super long and they were initially both going to be one chapter. I hope I managed Quidditch okay, and I 100% blame tumblr for putting the idea of Sirius as commentator in my head, I hope I did it justice. Comment and let me know what you think!

_James and Sirius cast each other horrified glances, as though they had forgotten something very important._

* * *

The great hall was buzzing with activity, every faculty member and student giddy with anticipation for the day's event. There were hand-made banners scattered about the tables, several students were painting each others faces, and AJ was slipping through the hall, discreetly taking bets and selling omnioculars.

Today was the first Quidditch game of the season, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin, as was tradition.

Lily was standing behind Marlene, who was eating some pancakes, in order to braid the girl's hair in such a way as to keep it out of her face throughout the duration of the match. Marlene had ditched the teal eyeshadow she was usually so fond of today for some glittery gold to keep in the spirit of the team.

"I like your jumpsuit, Lily, where did you get it?" Alice asked, sitting across from Marlene and allowing Dorcas to paint red stripes across her cheeks.

"Thank you," Lily said, glancing down at the gold jumpsuit in question. "I liberated it from Petunia's closet."

"Oh, she's gonna be pissed when she finds out," Emmeline said, fiddling with her camera.

"As far as I'm concerned, anything she left behind when she ran off to London is fair game," Lily shrugged. "Besides, after I adjusted it a bit, I think I fill it out a bit better anyway."

"Well, you do have about twenty-five percent more boob and hip than Petunia," Marlene said.

" _Merlin,_ she was so _mad_ when I came home after first year having… _developed,"_ Lily said with a roll of the eye. "You'd think I did it on purpose!"

"She probably thinks you did," Dorcas laughed.

Lily snickered before wiggling her fingers and saying dramatically, _"Magic Bosoms!"_

The other girls laughed as well, Emmeline lifting her camera to take a picture of Lily and Marlene as Lily tied off Marlene's braid with a red ribbon. Just as she pressed the shutter-release, James Potter and Sirius Black jumped behind the girls, grinning broadly as the flash went off.

"Playing photographer today?" Marlene said.

"I told my mum I'd take some Quidditch pictures for her," Emmeline said, taking the photograph that slid out of the camera.

"We'll give you a good game for that," James said, entirely smug as he set his hands to his hips.

"I'm just glad that I'm not captain," Marlene said in a sing-song voice. "If we lose everyone is going to blame you."

"We're not gonna lose," James said. "Although _maybe,_ you know, just for some insurance, Evans wants to give me a kiss for luck."

He leaned in close, offering her his cheek for said kiss and she scoffed, rolling her eyes before taking a seat at the table.

"I don't know why you thought that'd work," Sirius said, reaching over Marlene to grab some toast from the platter. He wore a red shirt with a golden lion under a leather jacket. Pinned to the jacket was a badge with another lion, this one wearing a pair of glasses.

"C'mon, Evans, for the greater good of the team," James said, plopping down next to her.

Lily took a deep breath and glanced back his way. "Listen, Potter, I really, _really_ think it's a bad idea."

"I disagree," he grinned.

"No, no, listen to me," she said very seriously. "You've won a lot of games, right?"

"Yes," James said, puffing out his chest with pride.

"And how many of those games have I given you a good luck kiss before?" Lily pointed out.

"Well, none," James said.

"So, what if, by giving you a kiss, I jinx everything and then you lose?" Lily said, exaggerating her concern for the pre-game rituals. "Really, it's for the greater good of the team if I _don't_ kiss you."

The other girls and Sirius snickered at Lily's explanation. James opened his mouth to respond but paused, seeming to mull over her words.

"You know, you're absolutely right," he said.

"Of course I am," Lily said, returning her attention to her bagel.

"We'll have to turn the good luck, pre-game kiss into a congratulatory, post-game snog," James said with a short nod.

"Merlin's beard, Potter, _no,"_ Lily groaned.

"You can't blame me for trying," James pouted.

"Did you know, Prongs," Sirius said, brushing crumbs from his lips, "That the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?"

" _Thank you,"_ Lily said. Sirius gave her a salute.

"Will you at least wear one of the badges we made up?" James asked, setting a couple on the table. The girls each picked one up to examine it.

"Is this a lion wearing your glasses?" Dorcas said.

"Yes," James said.

"Who drew it?" Alice asked. "It's pretty good."

"James did," Sirius said.

"Since when do you draw?" Marlene said.

"I am a man of many talents," James said, taking a short bow.

"They're not cursed or something, are they?" Lily said.

James and Sirius cast each other horrified glances, as though they had forgotten something very important.

"How did we not think of that?" James said.

"Opportunity missed, I am so disappointed in us," Sirius pouted. He turned to look down the table to where Remus was handing one of the badges to Frank. Peter was making the rounds at the Ravenclaw table. "MOONY! We should have cursed the badges!"

"No, we really shouldn't have!" Remus called back with a grin.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen," Emmeline said softly as she examined the badge. She pinned it to her jacket regardless. "I want to wear it every day."

"Thank… you?" James said. "You're so _mean_ Vance."

Emmeline lifted her camera and snapped James' picture.

"'Look Mum, a boy that thinks I'm mean,'" Marlene snickered as James' picture slid from the camera.

" _James!_ I can't do this," Mary MacDonald said, plopping down next to James, her whole being trembling in her Quidditch robes.

"Have you eaten? You should eat," James said, grabbing a piece of toast and handing it to the girl.

"You really should, you'll regret it later if you don't," Marlene nodded.

"Nervous, huh? Everyone is before their first game," Dorcas said, reading over to pat Mary's arm sympathetically.

"I'm so _nauseous_ ," Mary groaned. "Why is the snitch worth _so many_ points?"

"You'll be fine once you get out there," James said. He pointed to her toast. "Eat."

"I overheard some of the Slytherin chasers talking about how _great_ Regulus Black is, though, I'm going to let you all down," Mary frowned.

"The Slytherins always do that, they want to intimidate you," Alice assured her.

"Yeah, Emma should be here any minute for pre-game intimidation," James said, checking his watch.

"Is Regulus actually any good?" Marlene asked Sirius.

"I have no idea, actually," Sirius said.

"He's your brother," Dorcas said. "You… _live_ together."

"I didn't even know he was on the team until my parents sent one of their monthly 'I am so disappointed in you' letters and mentioned it," Sirius shrugged. "We're not close."

"Has anyone ever vomited on the pitch?" Mary said.

"James did," Marlene nodded.

"Yeah, my first game, we were heading out to the pitch, everyone else kicked off the ground and I was late because I was becoming re-acquainted with my breakfast," James said, recalling the match in question. "But I was fine after that. Eat your toast."

Mary took a small bite, still looking pale.

"Potter!" Emma Vanity said, marching over and looking quite regal in her Slytherin Quidditch robes.

"Vanity!" he called back, standing up from the table to properly face her.

"This is weird, I'm so used to starting off the season talking shit with Jolene," the Slytherin pouted. "But I suppose you'll have to do."

"Jolene may be gone but that won't change the fact that we're going to kick your sorry arses across that pitch," James said.

"Don't get too confident about it, Potter, you won't be able to keep balance with that big head of yours," Emma said.

"Sorry, I can't hear you over the last four matches we've won against Slytherin," James said, smug.

"What was that? I can't hear you Potter, I must have the Quidditch Cups we've won the last two years suck in my ears," Emma said, grinning.

"Did you do that so that you couldn't hear how dangerously close the final scores were?"

"Second place _is_ just the first loser."

"Funny, since every year we start with the Gryffindor and Slytherin match which makes _you lot_ the first loser each time."

Emma grinned, pulling James into her arms. "You're so good at this!"

"I try, I try," James said, clapping her on the back.

"I do hope you have a handkerchief ready for when you lose, though," she said, releasing him from her grasp.

"It won't be necessary. I hope the Slytherin common room has a counselor standing by," James said. Emma giggled.

"Love you, Potter, you dolt," she said, starting off to re-join her teammates.

"You're my favorite deadly sin, Vanity!" James called back.

"That was weird. Does that happen every game?" Mary asked.

"Just with Emma," James said.

"She's the best Slytherin," Sirius nodded. "And I say that with a certain amount of authority as everyone in my family is in that ruddy house."

* * *

It was a clear, slightly chilly day out on the Quidditch Pitch, which was just about perfect for a game. Emmeline and Dorcas managed to get Lily seated beside Remus and Alice seated beside Frank in the stands, and felt quite victorious in doing so.

"So, are you guys really going to make me drink tonight?" Emmeline asked, thinking back to Marlene's earlier suggestion that she use the victory party as an excuse to drink and sing in front of a smaller crowd than the choir performance would require of her.

"We won't make you do anything you don't want to," Lily said. "Though, Marlene is almost certainly going to drink, so we'll be keeping an eye on her, anyway."

"I've never even _had_ alcohol, I mean, not unless the bit in butterbeer counts," Emmeline said,

"I doubt it, or they wouldn't be able to sell it to minors," Dorcas said.

"You'd have to have like, twenty butterbeers in like half an hour to even get buzzed," Alice said, turning from the row in front of them to properly talk to the girls. "Or be the size of a house elf."

"Sirius tried that once," Remus nodded.

"How'd it go?" Frank asked.

"He just had a sugar rush and had to piss a lot," Peter shrugged.

"Anyway, I'd say to just go with some shots if anything," Alice advised. "Get it over with quick."

"You're all prefects, right?" Dorcas said, glancing around the others in the group. "And head boy?"

"Right, so we do not condone students drinking _at all_ ," Frank said very seriously. "And I have no knowledge of any alcohol being at the after party… or the fact that an after party is even happening. Nope, I am none the wiser."

"Right! Drinking is bad! And not fun at all!" Remus said.

"Sirius is right, you're the _worst_ prefect," Peter said.

"Take it up with Dumbledore," Remus said again.

"I personally think it tastes awful," Dorcas said to Emmeline. "My uncle wants me to think he's cool so he gave me some over the summer holiday and it just… it's so gross, it's not worth it."

"It's better if it's mixed up with something," Lily said. "Max made margaritas when I went with the McKinnons to the beach over the summer, they were delicious. Er, but if Marlene's parents ask, _we didn't have any."_

"Am I the only one that hasn't done this?" Emmeline groaned.

"I haven't had much, and I probably won't tonight since I guarantee I'll have to babysit James and Sirius," Remus said. "And probably Peter, if he plays Firewhiskey Pong again."

"I'm _great_ at Firewhiskey Pong!" Peter protested.

"Which again, I have no knowledge of any of this," Frank said with a nod.

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't have more than one tonight, keep an eye on Marly," Lily nodded.

"I'm going to have some butterbeer and watch you lot stumble around. _That's_ what makes drinking fun for me," Dorcas said. "Being the sober one."

" _I'm_ going to beat Peter in Firewhiskey Pong," Alice grinned. "Er, which may or may not be happening, couldn't say."

"Good morning Hogwarts!" Sirius' voice boomed across the stands.

"How did he get the commentating gig?" Lily asked.

Remus shrugged. "It was McGonagall's turn to pick, Sirius begged her and complimented her for two straight weeks."

"He also wrote a passionate essay titled 'Heavenly Voices: Why Sirius Black Should Be Quidditch Commentator,'" Peter said.

"Oh, right. It was written beautifully, actually," Remus said.

"Brought a tear to my eye," Peter nodded.

"Welcome to our first match of the season, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin, a rivalry going strong for nearly a millennium. If you only go to one match this season, it should be this one! But also, if you only go to one match a season, what is wrong with you? What else are you doing? The games are free."

"Remember in third year when we sold tickets to the first years?" Peter said.

"We got two weeks of detention for that," Remus nodded, though smiling at the memory.

"Personally, I'd have saved the big rivalry match for last, but tragically, my input is never considered in instances like this. I can't imagine why," Sirius was saying.

The teams had approached the center of the pitch. The half of the stands cheering for Slytherin, which was mostly their own house, about half the Hufflepuffs, and a few scattered Ravenclaws began chanting, _"Vanity! Vanity! Vanity!"_

"Oh, we can't let that keep happening," Peter said, standing atop his seat and clapping his hands. He began to shout, "POTTER! POTTER! POTTER!"

The Gryffindor supporting crowd was quick to join in.

" _POTTER!"_

CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

" _POTTER!"_

CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

" _VAN-I-TY! VAN-I-TY! VAN-I-TY!"_

"You see, this is why he's insufferable," Lily said loudly to Dorcas and Emmeline, hoping to be heard above the chanting.

"Aw, come on, it's fun," Dorcas said, clapping her hands three times in a row with the others. "POTTER!"

The players mounted their brooms and took to the skies. Emmeline stood on her seat as Peter had, lifting her camera to get a better shot as the Quaffle was released and the whistle was blown.

"And Potter's got the Quaffle, no surprise there, dodges nicely around Rosier to pass to Rourke, who volleys it to Watson, who passes it right back to Potter, who approaches the rings and—! Ten points to Gryffindor! That's my best mate!"

The Gryffindor section cheered, even Lily applauded.

"Did you know, Evans, that James has the best scoring average of any other Gryffindor chaser in the past twenty years?" Peter said, leaning over Remus to say as much. "He makes about eighty-eight percent of all the goals he attempts."

"Did he actually take the time to calculate that?" Lily said.

"Well, it was kind of a group project, but it's a really good average to have! He could probably go pro, honestly," Peter said with an enthusiastic nod.

"And yet Gryffindor still hasn't won the cup in years," Dorcas pointed out with a laugh.

"Move, Pete, I can't see," Remus said, nudging Peter out of his line of vision.

"Watson passes to Rourke, Rourke to Potter, Potter to Watson, Watson to—shit, intercepted by Talkalot—"

"Language, Mr. Black," McGonagall could be heard telling Sirius.

"—Talkalot passes to Murphy, Murphy dodges Potter and a Bludger sent by Baker. He approaches the rings, he shoots, and—! Blocked by the always-lovely Marlene McKinnon. Fun fact, McKinnon gave Murphy a concussion last year for being a complete and utter prat."

" _Black,"_ McGonagall scolded.

"Don't call girls 'whores' is all I'm saying—"

" _Black!"_

"It's very rude, she reacted appropriately."

"McKinnon! McKinnon! McKinnon!" Lily, Emmeline, Dorcas, and Alice began to chant, the rest of the Gryffindor stands whistling and chanting along.

"McKinnon throws the Quaffle back into play where it's caught by Potter. Potter passes to Watson, who is quickly blocked on both sides by Rosier and Murphy. Watson twists into a sloth grip roll to hand off the Quaffle to Rourke, who approaches the rings. Rourke narrowly avoids a Bludger sent by Vanity, shoots and—ten more points to Gryffindor! The score is Twenty-none for Gryffindor. Barton seems to be asleep at the rings today, folks."

Jared Barton, the Slytherin Keeper, flashed a not-so-kind hand gesture in the direction of the commentator's box before throwing the Quaffle back into play.

"Talkalot passes to Rosier, Rosier passes to Murphy and is intercepted by Potter! Potter executes a flawless backhand pass to Rourke. Rourke passes to Watson, Watson right back to Rourke. Watson. Rourke. Watson. Rourk. Potter. Rourke. Watson. Potter. Potter shoots and… well, it looks like Barton woke up, blocked."

The Gryffindor stands erupted into boos as the Slytherin stands cheered, chanting Barton's name.

"What the hell? Black dives for the Snitch? Already? I don't see it, but MacDonald's heading that way too. They're close, but Black's just a bit ahead and—HE'S PULLING OUT OF THE DIVE! WRONSKI FEINT, IT WAS A FIB!"

They watched as Mary headed straight for the ground, suddenly tugging on her broom handle and practically standing upright to shove the tail down at the same time. She was mere inches from the ground when she shot across the pitch instead, taking a sharp turn and heading up into the air once more.

"MacDonald recovers! Nice try, Little Brother. Fun fact, Regulus Black has _always_ been that obnoxious. For example, he once shoved me into the urn with our grandfather's ashes and then told our father I knocked it over on purpose."

Regulus shouted something toward the commentating box.

"I don't care if you were four and I was five, you're still obnoxious! Anyway, Potter's got the Quaffle, passes it to Watson, who passes it to Rourke—intercepted! Talkalot passes to Rosier, who passes to Murphy, who passes back to Talkalot and, _oh fuck_ , Slytherin scores."

" _Language!"_

"'Oh _no_ , Slytherin Scores,' then. Gryffindor, twenty. Slytherin, ten. Rosier passes to Murphy, Murphy to Talkalot, Talkalot shoots again and… is blocked by McKinnon!"

"How're your pictures coming out?" Dorcas asked Emmeline, still snapping away.

"Decent, I guess," Emmeline said, handing the girl some of the polaroids that had already developed. James Potter darted across one to make the first score of the game.

"Take some at the next Hufflepuff game, will you? My dad always asks about Quidditch," Dorcas said.

"Can do," Emmeline nodded. "I'll definitely need to buy more film before then."

"I'll pitch in," Dorcas said. "It's nice having pictures."

"Black dodges a Bludger sent by Alexander, and Potter has the Quaffle again. Potter passes to Rourke, Rourke shoots—and it's thirty-ten with Gryffindor in the lead! Talkalot takes the Quaffle, passes to Murphy, Murphy passes it to Rosier and… ten points to Slytherin. Come on, McKinnon!"

The game trudged on with Gryffindor hanging on to their ten point lead by a thread. Every time they'd advance a bit further, Slytherin would score again. Marlene and Barton saved about as many scores as they missed, the chasers pulling out every maneuver they had.

"Talkalot shoots and pelts the Gryffindor Keeper right in the head, is that legal? I mean can we prove she didn't do it on purpose? How decent is her aim, really, McKinnon's head _is_ smaller than the circumference of those rings. Either way that's not a score, the game is still eighty-seventy with Gryffindor in the lead. Potter takes possession of the Quaffle and—SHIT—!"

" _Shit!"_ McGonagall could be heard saying nearby as well. A groan fell over the Gryffindor stands and many students cringed.

"Oh, I got a picture of that," Emmeline said as the camera pushed the photograph out.

"—Potter is hit by a Bludger sent by Slytherin Captain, Emma Vanity and drops the Quaffle, which is retrieved by Murphy, who passes to Rosier. Potter is still at it, tries to intercept with his right hand, Rosier passes to Talkalot, who passes right back to Rosier and… he ties the game, eighty-eighty. Potter is still flying but his left arm doesn't seem to be doing much, and he _is_ left-handed. He's gesturing for something, I think he's trying to call a time-out with just one hand, is that what you're doing, Mate? Yes! Potter's calling a time-out."

Madam Hooch blew her whistle and James flew over to Marlene and began speaking with her and gesturing to his arm, their team mates flying over to gather around.

"Shouldn't he see Promfrey?" Dorcas said. James' left arm was lying limp beside him.

"She won't let him back in the game, no way," Frank said. "She'll want to make sure there's no tissue damage or anything, she'll bench him."

"Well he's no good in the game if his arm's broken," Remus said.

"If anyone can play with a broken arm it's James," Peter said with a nod.

"It could just be dislocated," Emmeline said. "He got hit right at his shoulder."

"What's he doing?" Lily said, squinting to watch as Marlene took James' limp arm, holding it steady with one hand and setting the other against his shoulder.

"Oh _Merlin,"_ Alice said, wincing. "I think it _is_ dislocated; she's gonna pop it back in!"

Marlene shoved at James' arm and each of their teammates cringed at the noise that those in the stands thankfully could not hear. James moved his arm, swinging it forward and back to make sure he still could.

"Well, that's one way to take care of that. Let no one ever say James Potter isn't dedicated to staying in a Quidditch match," Sirius said. After a few more words to his teammates, James flew back to the center of the pitch, as though nothing was wrong with his arm whatsoever. The Slytherins broke away from their own huddle and soon enough the game was back in progress.

"Watson passes to Potter, who seems to be in pain. Potter dodges _another_ Bludger, really, Vanity? _Really?_ Potter passes to Rourke who quickly passes back to Potter, Potter to Watson, Watson to Potter, Barton dodges a Bludger from Alexander and misses Potter's shot! The score is ninety-eighty."

"Nothing can stop him!" Peter cheered.

"Really though," Remus said, applauding as he shook his head at his injured friend, so determined to remain in the game.

"Rourke passes to Watson, Rosier intercepts the Quaffle, passes to Talkalot, who is sent spinning by a Bludger to her broom's tail, sent by Alexander. She manages to keep hold of the Quaffle but she is definitely flying in the completely wrong direction now. But hey, Talkalot, if you really want to score over there, we're not gonna stop you. Just keep flying that way, really. Damn, there we go, she seems to have finally noticed all her teammates are pointing the other way and turns around, passes to Murphy. Murphy passes to Rosier, Rosier back to Talkalot and McKinnon saves!"

The Gryffindor stands cheered again as Marlene threw the Quaffle back into play, James catching it with a wince, tucking it under his injured arm and heading off.

"Madam Promfrey would like me to tell James Potter that he may be damaging his arm further by continuing to play. _I_ would like to tell James Potter that, _hypothetically,_ I might have ten galleons on this game," Sirius was saying. "Hypothetically, of course, as gambling is against school rules, stop looking at me like that, Professor. Potter passes to Rourke, Rourke darts higher into the air where she passes off the Quaffle to Watson, who's in mid-dive. Nice strategy, the Slytherin chasers are struggling to turn around and follow Watson. Watson approaches the rings and—! Gryffindor scores! One hundred to eighty!

"And the Quaffle is back in play. Rosier passes to Murphy, Murphy to Talkalot, Talkalot back to Murphy, Murphy to Rosier, intercepted by Potter! Potter to Watson, Watson to Rourke, Rourke to Potter, Potter back to Rourke—and, intercepted by Murphy. Murphy to Rosier, intercepted by Watson. Watson to Rourke, intercepted by Talkalot. Talkalot to Rosier, intercepted by Rourke. Rourke to Potter, _intercepted by Rosier_. This is exhausting. Okay, Rosier seems to have given up the notion of passing at all and is just heading straight for the Gryffindor goals. Del Real seems to finally want to be part of this game instead of letting Vanity do all the work, defends Rosier from a Bludger sent by Baker. Del Real and Baker are now just…hitting the Bludger back and forth at each other, I'm sure that'll stop once one of them gets knocked out.

"Rosier finally approaches the Gryffindor goals and— _fuck!"_

" _Mr. Black."_

"Rosier passes to Talkalot at the last second, Slytherin scores. Slytherin: ninety, Gryfindor: one hundred. Del Real and Baker are _still_ just sending that Bludger back and forth, I guess at least they're keeping it away from their teammates? Potter's got the Quaffle and—wait! Black and MacDonald are on the move, both heading for the Gryffindor goals! They've spotted the Snitch! McKinnon darts out of MacDonald's way as they approach and Black barely manages not to crash right into her. It's close, they're neck and neck! Black reaches out and—the Snitch takes a sharp turn! They're still after it, MacDonald a bit ahead now! Whoever catches this wins the game!"

The stands were in a frenzy.

" _BLACK! BLACK! BLACK!"_

" _MAC-DON-ALD! MAC-DON-ALD!"_

" _BLACK!_

" _MAC-DON-ALD!"_

"Come on, Mary!" Alice shouted.

"You got this, MacDonald!" Remus called.

"It's so close, this might come down to who has the better broom," Dorcas cringed.

"That'd be Black, wouldn't it?" Lily said.

"I can't believe they don't make everyone use the same kind of broom," Emmeline said, finger ready at the shutter button as the two seekers flew closer to their stands, the Snitch heading their way.

"Duck!" Frank called and the group of them did so, along with a great deal of those sitting around them, the Snitch flitting past and Regulus and Mary's brooms missing their heads by inches.

"Through the Gryffindor stands and now down toward the ground, the Snitch is living up to it's tricky reputation today," Sirius was saying. "They're diving now, both ready to catch it! Who's it gonna be? Both of them are mere inches away and—! They both grabbed for it, who got it? Oi! Which of you two caught it?!"

Mary triumphantly raised her fist into the air, the Snitch glistening in her grasp, while Regulus could be seen setting his head in his woefully Snitch-free hand, cursing.

"MacDonald caught the Snitch! One hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor! The final score is two hundred and fifty to ninety! Gryffindor wins the first match of the season!" Sirius declared. A huge groan could hardly be heard from the Slytherin stands as the Gryffindor stands jumped to their feet and cheered, chanting Mary's name.

The Gryffindor team rushed down to the ground to Mary, though James was the last one to arrive. Before he went to meet them, he'd flown over to Emma Vanity and fished a handkerchief from his robes to hand to her.

Emma couldn't help but laugh, taking the handkerchief and playfully shoving James in his bad arm. They shook hands and James dove to the ground where the team had already hoisted Mary on their shoulders.


	16. Killer Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's party time! Nice long chapter for you guys (longest one yet, I think). Time for our cast to do some underage drinking, which always ends super well, of course. I hope you enjoy it, let me know. The song referenced later is, of course, "Killer Queen" by Queen.
> 
> Also, if you're on tumblr, please consider checking out my Harry Potter blog (link in my bio). I just recently finished a drawing of the four girls over there. This is it here, but the blog has close-ups:  
> 

" _You have a good face!"_

" _Are you drunk?"_

* * *

It was impossible to hear yourself think in the Gryffindor common room, with a record player cranked to full blast in the corner and laughter and discussions of the game filling the air. James still hadn't arrived, having been carted off to the hospital wing by Madam Promfrey as soon as he touched down to make sure Marlene hadn't done more damage than good when she popped his shoulder back into place.

Consequently, the remainder of the team and the rest of the Marauders hadn't arrived yet either, having tagged along to the hospital wing for moral support.

"So those are the only bookshelves," Emmeline said, gesturing to the far wall. Generally, other students were not permitted in the Gryffindor common room, but it wasn't uncommon to sneak friends from other houses in for parties such as this, being sure to whisper the password to the Fat Lady to keep it secret.

"Well, yes, but they're quite large," Lily said. "How many does your common room have?"

"Well. More than that," Emmeline said. She paused. "Wow, we _are_ clichés."

"The lack of plants is distressing me more than I thought it would," Dorcas observed. "I'm also disappointed that Sirius was lying when he said there was a giant golden lion in here."

"Well, we have tiny golden lions on the mantel," Lily said, gesturing to the fireplace. The other girls turned to see said enchanted lions, one letting out a yawn and the other already sleeping, a paw dangling off the edge.

"Aw, they're cute," Dorcas said.

"They bite, though," Lily cautioned.

The portrait hole swung open and Peter came rushing in. "Gryffindor house!" he called. "Your victorious captain!"

James came walking in with Sirius and Remus, his arm in a sling and the rest of the team closely following. The common room erupted in cheers and James took a moment to bow dramatically, grinning the whole way.

Needless to say, Lily found herself rolling her eyes again.

"Hey! Your victorious _team,"_ James said, gesturing to the others. The room continued to cheer. "I mean, not that they'd be anywhere without me."

"So humble!" Douglas said, bowing to James mockingly.

"Hey, hey!" Marlene called. "Let's hear it for Mary for catching the Snitch!"

Lawrence and Douglas hoisted the small girl atop their shoulders as the common room began to chant, "MacDonald! MacDonald! MacDonald!"

"And you didn't even puke!" James grinned up at the girl.

"I didn't!" she cheered, Snitch still in her grasp. Lily waved for Marlene, who rushed over to the other girls as the common room continued to chant Mary's name.

"We won!" Marlene grinned as she arrived beside the others.

"You won!" Dorcas said.

"And you got to pop someone's shoulder back into socket!" Emmeline added.

"It made the worst noise, that bone-against-bone noise," Marlene cringed. "Oh, and Jolene was here."

"Oh?" said Lily.

"Yeah, she came to see the match and she went to see James in the hospital wing after," Marlene nodded. "But she left, said she wasn't about to climb all those stairs to get to a party she can't even drink at."

"That's fair," Lily nodded. "How's the baby?"

"She said everything was fine. She's due really soon, though, she was so huge," Marlene said, miming having a very large, pregnant belly. "She said the kid wouldn't stop kicking the whole match."

"Hopefully that means they were enjoying it," Emmeline said.

"I know, she'll be crushed if the kid doesn't at least _like_ Quidditch," Marlene said. "Anyway, we all seem very sober, I say we fix that."

"Oh. Right," Emmeline cringed slightly.

"You don't have to have any," Lily reminded her.

Dorcas held up her butterbeer. "I'm not."

"No, I'm going to," Emmeline said. Marlene cheered and ushered the other girls to a table where drinks were set up.

"Here you go," Marlene said, handing a shot glass full of an orangey-red liquid to both Emmeline and Lily. The liquid left the glasses warm to the touch. Marlene grabbed a shot glass for herself and lifted it up. "Cheers!"

Lily and Emmeline tapped their shot glasses to Marlene's and Dorcas gently tapped her butterbeer bottle to the group of glasses as well.

Lily and Marlene took their shots without more than a wince. Emmeline gagged and coughed.

"Oh, Merlin, that's the worst thing," Emmeline said, making a face.

"Told you," Dorcas smiled, sipping her butterbeer.

"It _burns,"_ the Ravenclaw said.

Lily took a goblet and filled it with punch from the bowl, handing it to Emmeline. "Here, chase it with this."

Emmeline set the goblet to her lips and made a face again. "That's awful too!"

Marlene cocked a brow and took the goblet from Emmeline's grasp. She sniffed it curiously before taking a sip. "Ah, yeah, someone spiked it."

"Water, then," Lily said, handing Emmeline a different goblet.

"Thank you," Emmeline said, taking a drink.

"Ready for the next one?" Marlene grinned, picking up two more glasses.

Lily shook her head. "Nah, that's all I'm having."

Emmeline took a deep breath and set her goblet down, taking one of the shots.

"Again, Em, don't feel like you have to actually get drunk," Dorcas said.

"This is a great place to get drunk! It's safe and _we're_ here to keep an eye on each other," Marlene said, lifting her glass again.

"To new experiences," Emmeline said, tapping her glass to Marlene's. They took their shots and Emmeline coughed and cringed again. "Still awful!"

"One more, quick!" Marlene said, grabbing two more glasses. Emmeline groaned but took the glass anyway.

"Is my stomach supposed to feel like it's on fire," Emmeline asked after choking down the third shot. She hastily took another gulp of water.

"Yep! Welcome to firewhiskey!" Marlene grinned.

"Mmph," Emmeline said, noncommittally, setting a hand to her head. "I think it's starting to kick in already?"

"Well, you took three shots in a row," Dorcas snorted.

"Are you buzzed enough to have any fun?" Marlene asked. "Let's dance!"

"I'm no good at dancing!" Emmeline said.

"Neither are those idiots," Lily said, gesturing to the crowd that was flailing about on the makeshift dance floor.

"I _do_ love this song," Emmeline said, seeming to weigh the pros and cons.

"Just come out to the dance floor with us, then," Dorcas said.

"Okay," Emmeline nodded. Lily and Marlene each took one of her arms and dragged her to where the others were already dancing.

* * *

"I think you need to either get better at firewhiskey pong or quit after this round, Pete," Sirius said, taking another gulp of the drink he'd been nursing the past ten minutes.

"I'm _great_ at this game," Peter said mid-hiccup as a miniature Quaffle bounced into one of the shot glasses in front of him.

"The object is to _not_ get wasted," Remus snorted.

"James can't drink because of the potion Promfrey gave him for his shoulder. He told me to get twice as drunk to make up for it," Peter said, taking the shot. Unfortunately, he nearly choked on the small Quaffle he forgot to remove first. James clapped him on the back to help him cough it up.

"I didn't mean that _literally_ , Worm," James grinned.

"Well, now you tell me," Peter said, bouncing another small Quaffle, landing it perfectly into one of Alice's remaining shot glasses. She hummed cheerfully to the music playing as she set the small Quaffle aside and took the shot.

"Last one, Pettigrew!" Alice grinned as she prepared to bounce another tiny Quaffle.

"Unless you miss it!" Peter said.

She didn't.

"Victory!" Alice cheered. Peter took his last shot.

"No more, Worm," Remus said.

"I'm _fiiiiiine!"_ Peter said, swaying slightly. "You act like Alice is still sober, I held my own!"

"I'm just buzzed!" Alice giggled. "Like a bee! Buzzzzzzz'd!"

"I somehow doubt you're 'just buzzed,'" Remus said to the girl.

"You don't know me, Lupin! You don't know my _life,"_ Alice said with a grin and a bit more giggling.

"Bet you're not 'buzzed' enough to talk to Frank," Sirius said, finishing off his own drink.

Alice gasped. "Oh my gosh. I bet I am! Frank! _Fraaaaank!"_

Frank, who had been talking with some of his roommates turned his head, confused. Alice waved enthusiastically and Frank blushed.

"Yeah?" he called back.

"Oh _shit,_ she _is_ drunk," Sirius laughed.

"Frank! You have a good face!" Alice called across the common room to him. Scattered whistles and catcalls could be heard in response.

"Are you drunk?" Frank called back, concerned.

"Your arse is also good, sir!" she yelled. Frank turned a far deeper shade of red. The common room cheered.

"Maybe, um, maybe you should have some water and s-sit down," Frank said, coming closer as to not yell across the room.

"Your whole thing," she giggled, gesturing to all of him. "It's good."

"Th-That's very nice, um, do you want some water?" Frank said.

"Oh, wow! I would love water!" Alice grinned.

"No more alcohol, Orpington!" Sirius called after them as Frank led her off to some chairs.

"I'll keep an eye on her!" Frank said.

"Aw man," Sirius pouted as Alice held on to Frank's arm to keep steady. "If they actually manage to make a date, I'm gonna lose my bet with Meadowes."

"It was a stupid bet to make," Remus said.

"Yeah, well, where were you when I was making the bet?" said Sirius, taking one of the shots that Alice hadn't had.

"Right there, _telling you_ it was a stupid bet to make," Remus said.

"He was," James nodded. "But I can't blame you for betting in my favor."

"Oh come on, even you had to have known he was gonna lose that bet," Remus said.

"You all wait. It might not be before Frank and Alice figure their shit out, but Evans and I, we'll get there. Right, Pete?" James said. He glanced around when he received no response. "Pete?"

"There he is," Sirius said, pointing toward the dance floor where Peter was doing some strange interpretation of disco with Gwen and Wanda, who had also gotten quite tipsy in the hour that has passed since the team arrived to the party.

"Oh, this is funny," Remus grinned, sitting on the edge of the firewhiskey pong table to watch.

"What's funny is that someone thought this music was good. Put the Stones back on!" Sirius called in the direction of the record player.

As they watched Peter dance, Eric Schnell went stomping to get a drink, bitterly mumbling under his breath.

"What's got your knickers in a twist, Schnell?" Remus inquired.

"Emmeline Vance is a bitch and should go back to her _own_ common room," Eric scowled, taking a shot. James, Remus, and Sirius exchanged looks.

"What'd she do, refuse to snog you?" Remus asked.

"I took my guitar out," Eric said. Sirius visibly cringed. "And she's all drunk and she starts _laughing_ and says I'm rubbish and my guitar is out of tune. Like she knows anything!"

"You _are_ rubbish," Sirius said at once.

"What the hell, Mate?" Eric said, outraged.

"And your guitar _is_ always out of tune," Remus nodded.

"Yeah, it's only ever really drunk girls that like it when you take that thing out, you never noticed?" James laughed.

"Shove it, Potter, I can't take your opinion seriously ever since you gave that Watson bird the chaser position," Eric scowled.

"She's talented and has a significantly better attitude than you do," James shrugged. " _And_ she doesn't make us listen to shitty guitar playing every party. I'm just sorry no one called you out before Vance."

"Well, and, I mean, Emmeline _is_ in choir," Remus pointed out.

"That doesn't mean she knows shit about guitar," Eric said defensively.

"There you are!" Emmeline said cheerfully as she approached. Marlene, Lily, and Dorcas were close behind, ready to step in if necessary, but clearly all too amused at the situation. Emmeline held up Eric's guitar. "I tuned it!"

"What!?" Eric shouted. "You probably fucked it all up!"

"Aw, you're so stupid," Emmeline cooed, leaving her friends and the three Marauders to laugh. She set her fingers to the frets and played some quick scales before strumming a few chords.

"Smoke on the Water!" Sirius cheered, nodding his head along as she played.

"Fuck yeah!" Emmeline said, ceasing her playing to give Sirius a high five. "Sounds better on an electric, though."

"Well if that's not knowing anything, I guess you're in the negatives, eh Schnell?" Remus snickered.

"Give me my guitar back," Eric demanded. Emmeline giggled.

"So mad," she cooed again, holding out the instrument.

"You know," Eric said, snatching the guitar from her grasp. "You should find a different hobby. Girls don't play rock and roll."

Emmeline stopped giggling, but her smile hardly faltered. "Tell that to Janis Joplin. Tell that to Suzie Quatro. Tell that to Patti Smith and Karen Carpenter—"

"Some muggles no one will remember because you've got to do more than pose pretty with an instrument," Eric said. "For every band with a girl you can mention, I can name twenty with none. _Girls don't play rock and roll."_

"Yeah, well, you aren't exactly Elvis Presley yourself, Mate," Sirius said.

"Emmeline already proved she can play circles around you and she's not even _sober_ ," Lily sneered, arms crossed before her.

The record in the player reached its end and those on the dance floor groaned in disappointment. Emmeline reached forward and tugged the guitar out of Eric's grasp before rushing off, giggling the whole way.

"Hey!" Eric said, starting after her. Sirius casually set his foot forward and tripped him. While he was down, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, James, and Remus rushed after Emmeline through the crowd. Sirius stumbled after them, dragging Peter along as he passed the boy, eager to see where this went.

When they reached the other end of the common room, Emmeline was clumsily climbing atop a table, knees shaking.

"Careful!" Dorcas called.

"Woo! Table!" Marlene cheered, quite inebriated now herself. She climbed atop the table as well.

A crowed had gathered, curious as Emmeline fiddled with the guitar.

"Give it back!" Eric called.

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Emmeline said, offering him the two-fingered salute. The small crowd cheered, Marlene applauded.

"I love drunk Emmeline!" the blonde said. "She has no filter!"

"I know, right, I'm like, sober Marlene," Emmeline said. The crowd snickered. Lily and Dorcas cringed watching Marlene for reaction.

"Oh my gosh! You are!" Marlene gasped, throwing her arms around Emmeline.

"Stoooop!" Emmeline whined, shrugging out of Marlene's embrace and beginning to strum the guitar.

"I said give it back, you bitch!"

"Shut up, Schnell!" Lily and James both said at once. Their nearby friends snickered. James grinned. Lily blushed.

"Take it off!" someone else in the crowd shouted, prompting catcalls and whistles in response.

"You first!" Marlene shouted back, shaking her hips seductively to the music. Emmeline started to play a familiar tune.

" _Sheeee!"_ the Ravenclaw began to sing, her voice clear and lovely, even through the alcohol. "Keeps Moet et Chandon in her pretty cabinet!"

Marlene danced beside Emmeline as the girl sang and played, her fingers never faltering. She had clearly practiced this song quite a bit.

"You know," Remus said to the others, "Marie Antoinette never _actually_ said—"

"We know," Sirius said, shushing the other boy, eyes fixed on the girls on the table.

A few people in the small crowd knew the words and sang along, but Emmeline's voice was the loudest, the most powerful.

Eric was silently fuming. It was difficult not to note that he had never gotten such a reaction when playing the instrument.

It was easy to see that Emmeline knew what she was doing. Everything about her technique gave it away, her posture, the way she curled her fingers around the neck, the position of the guitar against her body.

"You lot need to get her drunk more often," Sirius said as the girl reached the guitar solo. "This is the most I've heard her talk in four years!"

"I can't tell if we should be worried about her or not," Dorcas leaned in to say to Lily over the noise.

"If this is the worst she does tonight, we'll be good," Lily said just as Emmeline began to sing again.

"Woo! _Killer Queen!"_ Marlene sang along as she continued dancing clumsily on the table.

And soon enough, with a few more strums of the guitar, the song was through. Emmeline pulled the guitar strap off her shoulder and grinned as she caught Eric's eye through the applauding crowd.

That might have been it, with much of the crowd discussing which record to put on now that she was done.

But then she took the guitar by the neck, swung it over her head, and smashed it atop the table's surface. The room went silent as she lifted the broken instrument to smash it again, shattering some shot glasses that got in the way.

She did this several more times, then at last, she tossed the remains of the broken neck aside, stood up straight, and shouted, "Rock and Roll!"

The common room erupted in cheers and Emmeline fell gracefully back into a crowd ready to catch her and cart her off to another part of the common room across their hands. Marlene was still on the table, staring wide-eyed at the remains of the instrument. Remus and Lily's mouths were agape. Dorcas covered her mouth, eyes as wide as Marlene's.

Peter was laughing. Sirius and James couldn't grin any brighter if they tried.

"I'll kill her!" Eric was shouting, approaching the remains of his instrument. "I'll _kill her."_

"I'm sure we can fix it," Lily said.

"Yeah, it's not like she broke it with magic," Remus said, pulling out his wand.

"She just made this guitar her bitch," Marlene said in awe. "I _love_ drunk Emmeline."

"I'm reporting this to McGonagall. She got drunk, stole my property, _and_ destroyed it," Eric seethed.

"Yeah, I'm sure _McGonagall_ will be thrilled to also hear that anti-feminist bullshit you were spewing earlier," James said.

"Yeah, as far as I remember, there was an excessive amount of verbal harassment coming from _you_ , Schnell," Sirius added.

"Yes, I remember that, too," Remus said, shoving the now-repaired guitar into Eric's hand.

"So, unless you want to be responsible for ratting out the entire house for the alcohol, which _you_ also took part in," Sirius said.

"And unless you want the three of us to go into excruciating detail of why _you're_ making the common room an unsafe environment for half the people here," James shrugged.

Eric scowled. "Fine! Just keep her _away_ from my guitar!"

"As long as you promise to either get better or stay away from it too," Sirius said as Eric stormed off.

"Thanks for that," Lily sighed. "You know she wouldn't have done that sober."

"Oh, anytime, we don't want her getting banned from our next celebration," Sirius laughed.

Peter began cackling. "Banned! Like a rock _band!"_

"Oh, let's take you to the dorm, Pete," James said. "Once you start laughing at non-jokes you're about five minutes from passing out."

He slung Peter's arm over his good shoulder and began guiding the boy in the direction of their dorm.

"We'd better help them out," Remus said, bidding the girls farewell. He and Sirius went off after James and Peter.

"Come on, Marlene, let's go find Emmeline," Lily said, offering the blonde a hand off the table so that they could tend to their other drunk friend.

"Okay!" she said cheerfully, getting down.

"So, how many shots do you think is 'guitar smashing' drunk?" Dorcas said.

"I honestly think that fifth one did it," Lily said.

"Four is enough for table dancing," Marlene said matter-of-factly.

"So maybe we cut her off after four next time," Lily said.

"No!" Marlene gasped.

"If she ever wants to drink again when she sobers up and realizes what she did," Dorcas smiled.

* * *

Perhaps an hour later, Lily climbed out of the portrait hole, breathing deep and appreciating the sensation of _not_ being elbow-to-elbow with a bunch of her drunk housemates.

"Oh, prop that open, will you? The Fat Lady wandered off," Remus said, sitting on the floor of the corridor.

"Oh! Yes!" Lily said, finishing the water in her goblet and wedging it between the wall and the portrait's frame. She hadn't expected him to be out here, but was delighted he was.

Perhaps it was a sign. Maybe now was her chance to take the plunge? If Emmeline had managed to sing in front of everyone, Lily could certainly ask Remus on a date.

"Thanks. You need a break, too?" Remus said.

"Just a bit. I promised Dorcas I wouldn't be too long, " Lily smiled. "Somehow Marlene and Emmeline are still dancing."

"At least they're happy drunks," Remus shrugged.

"True," Lily shrugged. "You lot get Peter to bed all right?"

"Oh yeah, we're pros at taking care of each other by now," Remus said.

"Do you have to a lot?" she smiled.

"Yeah, well, if I'm not… 'sick,' then James hurt himself playing Quidditch, or Sirius got into a fight, or Peter just did something stupid," Remus said. "Put together, we're almost one functional person."

"Aw, I'm sure… Well I'm sure _you_ would last a day without them. Not sure about the others," Lily teased, settling down on the floor beside Remus.

"Hopefully we'll never have to find out," Remus smiled.

"Thanks again, by the way, for keeping Emmeline out of trouble earlier," Lily said.

"It was nothing," Remus shrugged. "For all the detentions we _do_ get, you'd be surprised at the number we don't."

"It wasn't nothing. It was very sweet." Lily hesitated, considering her next words very carefully. _"You're_ very sweet, Remus."

"Not sure that's the first word I'd use to describe myself, but I'll take it," Remus laughed.

"Well, I've got some others," she said shyly. "Smart. Funny. Sarcastic. Cute."

Remus eyes widened and he leaned over to better look Lily in the eye. _"What?"_

"I mean," Lily said, fiddling nervously with her sleeve. "I don't… I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, Remus, but, um, _well_ , I like you. A lot. And, um, well, I'd, um, would you want to maybe go out sometime?"

Remus looked a winning combination of both baffled and horrified. _"What?"_ he said again.

It was too late to take it back. Lily swallowed hard. "I said—I mean—"

"No, no, I heard you but, but _Lily,_ that doesn't make any _sense_ ," Remus stammered, pulling himself to his feet. Lily stood up was well, brow furrowed. "You _know_ what I am, Lily, why on earth would you—? What's appealing about—? There's no future with me!"

Lily was taken aback. "I didn't ask you to _marry me_ , Remus, I mean, I figured we would, I dunno, get coffee."

"I'm not suitable to date _anyone,"_ Remus said. "There's too much baggage. I can't ask you—I can't ask _anyone_ in good conscious to—"

"Are you turning me down because of your condition? Remus, that doesn't matter. That's not you, _this_ is you," Lily said.

"It _is_ me. It's a part that won't go away. I probably won't be able to ever have a steady job, much less a _relationship_ ," Remus said, shaking his head. "The fact that I'm even allowed in _school_ is a goddamn miracle."

"Remus, don't do that, don't let your condition keep you from pursuing something," Lily said. "You're more than your condition, you're so much more, don't be dictated by it. Don't just… don't give up without even trying."

"I can't, Lily, I can't—dating you?" he said, seeming distressed to even say the words. Lily's heart sank.

"Oh," Lily frowned. "Is the whole thing about, _you know,_ just a way to let me down easy, then?"

Remus cringed, realizing he had said absolutely nothing right since they began talking about this. "Lily, you're beautiful, really. Inside and out. But even if I weren't… _you know_ , I couldn't date you."

"Why? Is it Potter?" she said weakly, blinking back tears. This was _not_ how she wanted this to go.

"How would you feel if one of _your_ best mates dated someone they _knew_ you were hung up on?" Remus said, hardly looking her in the eye now. "And even still, Lily, aside from all that… I don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry."

Lily didn't say anything, crossing her arms before her and urging herself not to cry in front of him.

"Look, Lily, you deserve someone that'll be beside themselves to date you, someone that daydreams about it, someone that would, well, be a lot less frightened of the whole concept of getting close to someone if it meant you," Remus said, hesitantly setting a hand to Lily's shoulder.

"If you mean Potter—" she said, sniffling.

"Not necessarily. You should feel the same way," Remus said. "I'm just… I'm not that person in any regard. I'm really sorry."

Lily shrugged her shoulder away from his grasp, nodding and avoiding his eye.

"I, uh, I'd better check on the others," Lily said, walking briskly past Remus and slipping through the portrait hole. Remus sighed heavily, unsure of what to do.

" _Remus John Lupin,"_ came a scandalized voice behind him. Remus turned, horrified, to see Sirius emerging from the shadows with an armful of snacks from the kitchens and a shocked expression.

"How much did you hear?" Remus said.

" _Everything!"_ Sirius said. Remus groaned. "Evans! Evans knows about you! And she asked _you_ out! And you turned her down!"

"Don't tell James, please," Remus practically begged.

"Oh, _no,_ Prongs can never know," Sirius said, shaking his head. "He would kill you, and being his best friend, I'd have to help him hide the body, which would be _so awkward_ for me, because you're _also_ my best friend, so don't put me through that."

Remus sighed. "Yes, won't someone think of _Sirius_ in this situation?"

"See, you get it," Sirius nodded. "But yeah, don't worry, Mate, Prongs will not hear about this from me."

"Good," Remus said, rubbing his temples.

"How long as she known about your… _problem?"_ Sirius aid.

"She confronted me about it first year because Snape was suspecting me even then," Remus said. "I think she wanted me to deny it so she could tell him I wasn't... _you know_ , but then I panicked that she asked me so directly and just sort of… begged her not to tell anyone. As far as I know, she hasn't."

"Well, she'd better not. I'll hex a girl," Sirius mumbled. He began munching on one of the pretzels in his arms. "She's right, though, you shouldn't let your _problem_ keep you from dating. Make the moon _your_ bitch, Lupin, don't be the moon's bitch."

"It's not that easy. How can I date someone when once a month I become a monster?" Remus said in hushed tones.

"Girls do it," Sirius shugged.

" _Merlin,_ are you comparing the lunar cycle to a menstrual cycle?"

"It works, okay! Once a month, girls get emotional and mean and eat chocolate and then they're fine until next month," Sirius said. "And _they_ still date."

"Okay first of all, never let anyone with a uterus hear you compare their period to lycanthropy," Remus said. "And second, I'm pretty sure a werewolf is far more dangerous than someone PMSing."

"Depends on the person," Sirius shrugged. "You should've seen my cousin, Bellatrix, when she was going through puberty."

"Didn't she torture small animals when she was little? How could puberty make that worse?" Remus cocked a brow.

"By taking the existing crazy and blending it with cramps and hormones and acne," Sirius explained. "I'm almost positive she's the reason our last house elf died."

"You know she's gonna end up in prison, right?" Remus said.

"Oh, yeah," Sirius nodded.

"I don't think it's hormones with her, I think she needs mental help."

"Definitely, but Blacks don't do that. We insist everyone else is crazy and use their fear to our advantage. _Toujours Pur!"_

"Your family is a mess."

"Yes, and they all still date, so can you."

"Bellatrix married a Death Eater."

"She found someone whose interests and crazy levels were compatible with hers!"

"Andromeda was disowned."

"Is that really a bad thing?"

"And aren't your parents cousins?"

"You know, you're just willfully ignoring the point I'm trying to make. Other people are scarier and far more terrible than you could ever dream of being and it doesn't stop them from anything so if you want to date, _fucking date."_

"I don't want to date Lily!"

"Well, no, not Evans, don't date Evans," Sirius said, shaking his head. "But, I mean, you can date _someone_."

"How are you and Marlene doing, by the way?" Remus said dryly.

"… I mean we're not dating, we haven't really _discussed it._ We did snog recently but nothing's _official."_

"Uh-huh."

"We aren't talking about me and McKinnon!"

"Just don't tell her what you said about periods being like lycanthropy or she'll put you in the hospital wing."

"Won't that just prove my point, though?"

" _Merlin,_ why am I friends with you!?"

* * *

Lily found Marlene and Emmeline headbanging dramatically to a slow song as Dorcas watched, entirely amused.

"Lily!" Marlene cheered, seeing her friend approach. Once she got closer, the tears in her eyes were clear and Marlene gasped. "What happened, Ladyface?"

Dorcas and Emmeline looked over in time to see Lily open her mouth and try and talk, to explain, but dissolve into full-on crying instead.

"Don't be sad!" Marlene said, hugging Lily tightly. Emmeline and Dorcas piled their own hug on top.

"What happened?" Dorcas asked. The girls released her after a moment and Lily glanced around, all too aware of all the people around. As though reading her mind, Dorcas added, "Do you want to go to your dorm and talk?"

Lily nodded, wiping her eyes. Marlene immediately turned and started leading the way, shoving people out of her path when necessary as Emmeline and Dorcas walked on either side of Lily.

As they got to the staircase, they passed another girl crying on her best friend's shoulder, and she and Lily made brief eye contact. She wondered if the other girl had been turned down too, and felt a strange sense of solidarity.

"Fuck stairs!" Emmeline whined, grabbing for the railing.

"I know!" Marlene said. She had already stumbled twice.

"This is another reason I don't drink," Dorcas said, shaking hear head at the pair.

Marlene pushed open the door to their dorm, finding that their roommates were still at the party, and plopped down on her bed. Emmeline took a seat next to her, and Lily and Dorcas sat on Lily's bed, the next one to the left.

"Now, what happened?" Dorcas said.

"I asked Remus out," Lily said, taking some tissues from the box on her bedside table.

"He said no!? I'll go beat him up," Emmeline said, standing up.

"You're still drunk, Em, sit down," Dorcas said.

"I can totally take him," Emmeline said, flexing her arms, which only emphasized how scrawny they were. Marlene grabbed the back of Emmeline's sweater and pulled her back on the bed. Lily smiled but briefly at the display.

"We can't have you beat up Remus, you're a prefect. _I'll_ beat up Remus. But I gotta like, plan it and call him out," Marlene said, also still buzzed.

"Let's let Lily tell us the full story before we beat anyone up," Dorcas said.

" _Boo!"_ Emmeline said with a pout.

Lily couldn't tell them the full story. She had promised Remus not to utter a word about his condition and even after this, even now that the status of their friendship was unknown, she was unwilling to break her promise.

It was okay, though. The rest of the story still stung plenty.

"Well, he turned me down, obviously," Lily said, feeling embarrassed and heartbroken all over again saying the words. "I asked if Potter had anything to do with it and he does at least partially, because Remus doesn't want to be a bad friend to him, even though I have no intention of _ever_ dating Potter."

"Yeah, but it would be shitty to date you without at least talking to James about it first, they're best friends and he hasn't made it a secret that he likes you," Dorcas said.

"I still don't think he's really serious about that," Lily said, pausing to blow her nose.

"So we'll beat James up! His arm's in a sling, he's not much of a threat! We just have to corner him without Sirius," Emmeline said, standing up once momre before Marlene pulled her back to the bed again.

Lily shook her head. "It wouldn't matter. Remus said he doesn't feel that way bout me, even if James wasn't an issue."

"Oh, what a dick! Let's go beat him up _now,"_ Marlene said, standing up herself this time.

"Yes!" Emmeline said, getting up as well.

"Hey, hey, you two, back to the bed," Dorcas said, getting up and blocking their way to the door. She pointed to Marlene's bed.

" _No!_ We gotta beat Remus up!" Marlene whined.

"We just gotta knee him in the groin," Emmeline said, miming this action.

"Thanks, guys, but don't beat him up," Lily sniffled. Marlene and Emmeline pouted.

The three other girls piled on to Lily's bed, Marlene pulling her into a hug, Dorcas setting a comforting hand to her knee, and Emmeline flopping onto her belly on the comforter.

" _Was_ he a prat about it when he told you he didn't feel that way?" Dorcas asked.

Lily shook her head. Somehow she thought it might be easier if he had been mean about it, then she would have a reason not to like him as much as she did. Then maybe the rejection would feel more like a blessing, maybe it would sting less. "No, no. He said I'm a great person and all but he doesn't think of me that way. If I'm such a great person, though, why _doesn't_ he think of me that way?"

"Boys are super dumb," Marlene said. The other girls nodded. "And I mean, sometimes someone can be totally perfect but do absolutely _nothing_ for you. Like Sirius. He's not doing anything wrong but… eh."

"And you don't wanna be like Marlene and Sirius," Dorcas said.

"Plus, I mean, do you want him to make, you know, an exception for you? Like, 'oh, she does nothing for me but I'll go along anyway, just in case.' That's not cute, that's not a story you tell your grandkids," Emmeline said.

"Yeah, I mean, at least he didn't lead you on," Dorcas said. "I mean, it still sucks that you like him that way and he doesn't feel the same, but he could've, I dunno, laughed in your face or something, or dated you and broke up with you later because he never _really_ liked you."

"We'll still beat him up, though, just say the word," Marlene said. Lily smiled slightly and shook her head.

She wanted to hate him. She wanted to enjoy the notion of her friends marching off to tell him off. But he was still so kind and sweet and so painfully out of reach. Why couldn't she just hate him now?

"You can do way better than Remus Lupin anyway," Dorcas smiled. "I mean, he's always wearing those cardigans like he's trying to dress up like a professor? What?"

"Yeah, he dresses like my grandpa," Marlene nodded. "And I hear he's like, super particular about like, his food not touching. You don't need that in your life."

"Also, he's probably a werewolf," Emmeline said.

Lily hoped the others didn't notice her shocked expression. Marlene and Dorcas were too busy looking at Emmeline in confusion.

"My _God_ , Em, I know we're talking shit but you can't just go around saying someone's a werewolf!" Dorcas said.

"You sound like Severus," Marlene said.

"I'm just _saying_ , every month Madam Valdez goes on poetic about the full moon and Remus is never around during that time," Emmeline shrugged.

"They'd never let a werewolf at Hogwarts," Marlene said, waving Emmeline's explanation away.

"I imagine even Dumbledore wouldn't want to deal with _that_ scandal," Dorcas said. Lily simply nodded, examining her fingernails.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Emmeline nodded, giggling. "Where's the washroom? Is it that door there?"

"Yeah, go for it," Marlene said, yawning. Emmeline stumbled off the bed and headed that way.

"It's getting late, maybe you and Em should just crash here," Lily said to Dorcas.

"Yeah, I should probably stay, help you out with those two," Dorcas smiled.

"Oh my gosh!" Emmeline's voice came from inside the washroom. "Your faucet's a lion's head! That's adorable!"

"Hey, Em!" Dorcas called. "Wash your face while you're in there! Friends don't let friends pass out with a full face of makeup on!"

"Okay!"

"You know, you guys act like I'm useless as a drunk, I'm _fine_ and I'm sobering up anyway," Marlene said, stretching across the bed and resting her head on the pillow.

"This is _my_ bed, Marly," Lily reminded her.

" _Noooo,"_ Marlene whispered. "It's mine now."

"C'mon, get up. When Em's done you gotta wash your makeup off too," Dorcas said, standing up and offering Marlene a hand. Marlene groaned, taking Dorcas' hand but making no attempt to sit up. Dorcas simply tugged on Marlene until she slid off the bed in a heap.

"And to think a minute ago you were ready to beat up Remus," Lily said, leaning over the edge of the bed to speak to Marlene.

"I could still kick his arse," Marlene mumbled, rolling over and hoisting herself onto her hands and knees. "Just say the word, Evans! I'll defend your honor."

Lily couldn't help but smile. At least her friendship with these weirdos wasn't in question.

Marlene steadied herself on the bedside table and stood up at last. Emmeline emerged from the washroom, humming _Killer Queen_ as she went, plopping face-first onto Marlene's bed.

"I think I like drinking," she mused.

"We picked up on that," Dorcas said, walking over to untie Emmeline's boots.

"It's like, I had some alcohol and all the thoughts like, 'hey, don't tell that guy he sucks at guitar,' and 'hey, don't dance, you'll look stupid,' and 'don't sing in front of all those people' … it's like the volume went _way_ down," Emmeline nodded, leaning up to help Dorcas with her shoes. "It's like, nothing matters."

"Unfortunately, things _do_ still matter," Lily said as Marlene shuffled off to the washroom, wishing certain things didn't. Wishing she could shrug some things off.

"Yeah," the blonde said. "But not 'til you're sober."


	17. Reputations and Legacies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey guys! Hope you've had a good week. I got a tattoo last week and am in the "itchy hell" portion of the healing process and hoping to distract myself with fanfiction! Leave me a comment for further distraction!
> 
> Also, holy shit, we're almost to 100 comments! Ignoring the fact that half of those are mine because I reply to all of them, but still!

" _They seem in pretty low spirits."_

" _No, they all just have resting bitch face."_

* * *

"My house already heard about what happened," Emmeline said, her head resting firmly atop the Hufflepuff table where she, Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene were eating breakfast.

Emmeline and Dorcas had slipped out of Gryffindor Tower early, heading to their own dorms to shower and change before meeting Lily and Marlene at the Great Hall.

"They heard how _amazing_ you were, then?" Marlene grinned, adding syrup to her waffles.

"I can't believe I stole someone's guitar! And climbed on a table! And sang in front of everyone there and _destroyed the guitar,"_ Emmeline whined. "I destroyed an instrument!"

"Remus fixed it, no harm done," Dorcas assured her.

"Don't forget the part where you crowd surfed away," Marlene said.

"Oh my _God,"_ Emmeline said. "Is Schnell mad? Is he gonna report me? Oh, what if they write to my parents and they find out I was drinking? What if they take my prefect's badge away?"

"You're fine, the 'Marauders'," Marlene said with air quotes around the group's self-appointed name, "Made sure he wouldn't report you."

Emmeline lifted her head from the table, baffled. "W—What? Sirius and… what?"

"James, Sirius, and Remus threatened to report Schnell for harassment if he reported you for breaking the guitar. Peter was… wasted," Dorcas said.

"Why would they do that for me?" Emmeline said.

Lily snorted. "They want you to be able to come back for the next party."

"Oh," Emmeline said, her face falling. "I'm sure they think I'm quite the joke."

"They actually seemed impressed. Though, either way, I wouldn't dwell much on what that lot thinks of you… after all, if anything, _I'm_ the joke," Lily sighed.

"Remus wouldn't tell them what happened, would he?" Dorcas said.

"Lily told us," Emmeline pointed out.

"I dunno, it would probably upset James, so maybe not. He still seems in good spirits," Marlene said, craning her neck to see the boys at the Gryffindor table.

"What happened with Frank and Alice?" Emmeline said as though she suddenly remembered.

"Oh, right! I dunno, I didn't see either of them after Frank took her to get water," Lily said. "I hope her night went better than mine."

"Doesn't look like either of them are here yet," Dorcas said, scanning the crowd.

"I'm sure we'll hear something eventually," Marlene said. "Maybe their night went _very_ well, you know?"

"Hey, Vance!" called Douglas as he entered the room. Emmeline glanced his way, confused. "Good show!"

Emmeline groaned again, setting her head back on the table.

"I think he really did mean that," Dorcas said, patting Emmeline on the head.

"Great, everyone likes me when I'm too drunk to act like myself," Emmeline said.

"Aw, we like you sober, too," Lily said.

Emmeline simply groaned once more. She didn't notice the girl approaching their group.

"Oh, there you are, Emmeline, you're so easy to miss," Pam said pleasantly, taking a seat beside Dorcas and across from Emmeline. Dorcas eyed the girl suspiciously. Emmeline sat upright, cocking a brow.

"You left the common room before I could talk to you this morning," Pam continued, smiling.

"Sorry?" Emmeline said, confused.

"No harm done! We can talk now—You know, McKinnon, all that whipped cream is so bad for you," Pam said, making a face at Marlene's plate. Marlene smiled in mock-pleasantness before dumping the entire dish of whipped cream on her plate. She shoved a forkful of more whipped cream than waffle in her mouth. Pam cringed.

"What do you want, Pam?" Lily said.

"I heard about your, well, 'performance,' last night, Emmeline," Pam said, air quotes and all.

"And…?" Emmeline asked, cringing slightly as though bracing for some kind of impact.

"Well, first, it's just so _adorable_ that the Gryffindors think serenading on a tabletop after a few drinks is anything like a performance, but, good for you! I didn't think you had it in you to go such a… _sleazy_ route," Pam nodded.

"Oh, fuck off," Marlene said, mid-chew. Emmeline frowned, brow furrowed.

Pam waved Marlene's comment off and continued. "I hear that you sang a muggle song. A muggle _rock_ song."

"What does that matter?" Dorcas challenged.

"Do you have a problem with muggles?" Lily glared.

"Oh, I wouldn't expect you two to understand," Pam said, gesturing to Lily and Dorcas. "I'm just looking out for dear Emmeline! What will people think if they find out you've taken the time to learn these muggle songs?"

"You do know muggles wrote most of the songs we're rehearsing for the Christmas performances?" Emmeline said.

"Well those are old classics, it's different," Pam said. "People will find out you actively listen to _current_ muggle music. And what's worse, rock music! A girl singing rock is just… well, it's not appropriate."

"Why isn't it appropriate?" Emmeline glared.

"That music is lewd. It's disgusting, even muggles know it is! No one should be singing it, much less a girl. People will think you're a slut, and the company you keep," Pam cast a glance toward Marlene, "Won't help that. They'll think you associate with muggles, it won't reflect well on you at all. Us girls, we need to look soft and gentle and pure; we need to sing that way."

Pam pat Emmeline's arm as though to let her know that they'd get through this together.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Dorcas said.

"Pam, dear," Emmeline said, throwing the other girl's hand off her arm. She was trembling slightly in silent fury. "You have all of three seconds to get out of my sight or I'll smash your face like I smashed that guitar."

Pam put her hands up as though in surrender, though that seemed too simple. "Fine. I'll go, but you see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You'll never get anywhere, singing or otherwise, if you're so _abrasive."_

"And _you'll_ never get anywhere if I break both your legs," Marlene snarled. Pam stood up at last.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," she said with a shrug before walking back to the Ravenclaw table.

"What a bitch!" Dorcas said as soon as Pam was gone. Emmeline stared straight at the table, her lips pressed into a thin line.

"Em held her own with her again, though! High-five!" Marlene said, holding her hand toward Emmeline. Emmeline barely glanced up before half-heartedly high-fiving the other girl.

"Hey, don't listen to Pam, she's still bitter that you got the solo instead of her," Lily said.

"I'm just—! I—ugh—I don't know, I'm so confused and frustrated, and—and twenty-four hours ago, no one even knew who I was and now I'm an abrasive slut that smashes guitars on tabletops!" Emmeline said, eyes watering.

"Welcome to Team 'I'm a slut somehow even though I'm a virgin,'" Marlene said. "I need to get laid already, catch up with my reputation."

"Em, the only one that's said you're a slut is Pam, who, again, is just mad that you're a better singer than she is," Lily said.

"Yeah, and that soft pure flower bullshit? Sounds like she's projecting. You're allowed to be _abrasive_ or whatever, okay?" Dorcas said. "Girls don't have to be pretty and passive all the time, but she feels like _she_ has to be, so she's taking it out on you for daring to do something else."

"Fucking _exactly,_ Dor," Marlene said.

"You had fun and the whole common room thought you were great," Lily said. "Muggle music or not. Let Pam be bitter."

"Thanks," Emmeline said, forcing a smile, though her eyes were still wet with tears and her voice quivered slightly. "I just… I hope it doesn't become some huge thing."

* * *

"This sling is so annoying," the left-handed James mumbled, struggling more than he thought he would to maneuver his fork with his right hand. Promfrey wanted him to keep the sling on at least for the rest of the weekend while the swelling in his shoulder went down and properly healed.

"Do you need help, mate?" Sirius said, watching in amusement as James moved his head to the fork in an attempt to get to his omelette before it fell back to the plate.

"I can do this," James said, determined.

"Why is everything so _loud?"_ Peter whispered, clutching his scull and cringing.

"That's what happens when you lose at firewhiskey pong," Remus said, absentmindedly stirring his coffee.

"Oops," Sirius said, dropping his knife on his plate with a loud clatter. Peter whined. Sirius laughed.

"I hate you, Padfoot," Peter said weakly.

"Sorry, what?" Sirius said, clanking his goblet into James'. Peter winced again.

"I'll remember this the next time _you're_ hung over," Peter said.

"Worth it," Sirius nodded.

"Maybe I should just…" James said, leaning over and setting his mouth to the edge of his plate. He scooped some food and slid it in to his mouth.

"Well, that doesn't look ridiculous at all," Remus said.

"Okay, but it worked," James said, swallowing as he sat upright again.

" _Potter!"_

The boy turned at the sound to find the Slytherin Quidditch team entering the room. Their skin was dyed in red and gold stripes. They looked very much like they were gift-wrapped, or perhaps on their way to support Gryffindor at an event.

The boys snickered at the sight. Emma approached them, the rest of the team following her.

"You know, Reg, red is your color," Sirius laughed as his brother got closer.

"What did you do, Potter?" Emma said, unamused.

"You think _I_ did this?" James gasped.

"Well, not alone," Emma said, gesturing to Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Do you have any proof?" Sirius grinned.

"Who else would dye us Gryffindor colors?" Regulus said. "I look like your bedroom at home."

"Maybe someone chose our house colors to frame us," Remus suggested.

"Come off it, I know you did something, you messed with the showers in our locker room or something," Emma said with a scowl.

"Are you implying that we broke in to your locker room and filled your shower heads with a time-release potion that would turn you red and gold!?" James said, feigning outrage. "Because that completely hypothetical scenario in that accusation is entirely unfounded."

"And when would we have the time? We've all been in detention all week. Except for the party last night where several witnesses can provide us an alibi," Sirius said. "And you lot have been in and out practicing."

"How would we get to your showers? Just waltz in to your locker room?" James said.

"We'd have to be invisible," Remus said.

"Which is, of course, not a thing we can do," Peter said, wincing at the noise.

"I don't know how you snuck in, but it was you," Emma frowned. "Some shit talk before a game is one thing, this is something else. It's a violation of privacy. I'll be reporting you."

"Good luck," James grinned. The Slytherin team stormed off, leaving the Marauders chuckling.

"She took losing the match much better than she took this makeover we gave them," Remus observed. "Allegedly."

"Yeah, well, she hates being blindsided," James shrugged.

"Which means she wasn't surprised they lost, I guess," Sirius said.

"Anyway, hypothetically, the colors will wear off in a week," James said.

"You know we're probably getting detention anyway," Peter pointed out.

"Yep," Sirius nodded. "But it's worth it to see my brother sporting the Gryffindor colors. He's so upset!"

"Think he'll tell your parents?" Remus asked.

"Probably. I'm sure they'll detail it in next month's 'why we're disappointed in you' letter," Sirius sighed.

"Yeah, well, write back and let them know Regulus didn't catch the Snitch," James said. "And that he cried hysterically when they lost."

"That second part isn't true," Peter said.

"Yeah, well, I'm willing to bet ten galleons they'll claim MacDonald was cheating somehow," Sirius said. "Actually, all of Slytherin House is probably making excuses as to why their precious pureblood seeker didn't get to the snitch before the muggleborn on the other team."

"Probably, they seem in pretty low spirits," Remus said, leaning to see the Slytherin table behind James' head.

"No, they all just have resting bitch face," Peter said.

"That is true," said James.

"I think it's both their faces and their bitterness," Sirius said.

The boys all looked to the Slytherin table, critical as though appraising each individual person sitting there.

"Yep, both."

"Definitely."

* * *

Lily had just finished a tutoring session and was looking through the potions section of the library to try and find a book to aid in her extra credit assignment for potions.

Did she need extra credit? No. Was her grade suffering? Again, no. But the topic was fascinating, researching how the use of bezoars was discovered and the history of its use in magical medicine. Lily was finding herself veering more and more toward the notion of being a healer, recently.

Besides, Lily had a feeling that Slughorn had picked that topic for the extra credit assignment because he knew she would find it fascinating. She really did enjoy his class and would hate to disappoint him by opting out of the assignment. So, she'd find the time to put something together.

Besides, it would be a nice distraction.

The redhead turned the corner to head down one of the aisles of books and nearly tripped over someone sitting on the floor.

"Oof! I'm sorry," Lily said, turning about to see who it was. Her eyes lit up. "Alice! There you are, we were wondering where you went."

"Oh, you know, hiding," Alice smiled sheepishly.

Lily sat on the floor beside the other girl. "Why are you hiding? What happened?"

Alice sighed. "Did you hear me telling Frank he had a nice face last night? And a nice arse?"

"Oh, uh, yes. You were quite loud," Lily said sympathetically.

"Oh, _Merlin,"_ Alice groaned. "I'm never playing firewhiskey pong _again."_

"Well, what happened after that?" Lily asked.

"Frank got me some water. He sat with me. He cleaned up after I puked," Alice said, cheeks burning red. "And I just, I kept _talking,_ Lily! No one stopped me! I told him I wanted to have his babies. I told him I'd be a _great_ girl to bring home to his parents."

Lily covered her mouth, hoping to hide her amusement.

"It's okay, you can laugh," Alice said, head buried in her hands.

"No! No, it's… it's sweet," Lily said.

"No, it's not. It's creepy. Like, really creepy," Alice said, burying her face in her hands. "And then I passed out and boys can't get into our dorm so he put me in his bed. I woke up and he was sleeping on the floor. I snuck out before his roommates woke up and I _still_ haven't talked to him because what the hell do I even say?"

"I, um… I honestly have no idea," Lily said, brow furrowed.

"He's always gonna see me as a big drunk mess that puked in front of him, hit on him, and then slept in his bed," Alice sighed.

"Oh, come now, I'm, er, sure that Frank won't judge you too hard," Lily said, patting the other girl on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Why can't I just smash a guitar when I'm drunk like Emmeline apparently did? That's way less embarrassing."

"Well, she feels quite bad about it today, too," Lily said. "And at least you were drunk when you embarrassed yourself last night, I was sober."

Yes, Lily truly had no one and nothing to blame but herself for making everything with Remus awkward now.

"Oh no!" Alice said. "What happened?"

"I asked a boy out. He does not like me that way," Lily cringed, retelling the story in the briefest terms she could.

"No! Who was it? I'll beat him up," Alice said.

Lily smiled. She had no intention of mentioning who it was now, hoping to keep that quiet while she could. She didn't think of Alice as much of a gossip, but she didn't need anyone overhearing and for everyone to know about both her crush and rejection. "Marlene and Emmeline already offered. I don't want him beat up, I just… I dunno, even if I get over the sting of it enough to talk to him and be friends again, who's to say he'll want to talk to _me_ again? Maybe I freaked him out and ruined our whole friendship."

"That is _exactly_ how I feel about Frank," Alice groaned.

"But he didn't reject you," Lily pointed out.

"Yeah but I'm sure I freaked him out," Alice said. "I just… why is it so hard? Boys? They're people, why is dealing with them ridiculous?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Lily sighed. "I feel like I'm otherwise intelligent until it comes to dealing with boys. I mean, shouldn't I have been able to figure out that he didn't like me?"

"Sometimes people are just friendly," Alice shrugged. "You know, we should have a girls' night. I've always wanted to do like, a spa night in the prefect's bathroom, but none of my friends were prefects."

"That actually sounds really nice," Lily said. She hadn't had a chance to really take advantage of her prefect's bathroom privileges yet, so focused on class, the sneakoscope, and Remus.

She had at least one less of those things to focus on now.

"We can invite Emmeline, too. Maybe Friday, if none of us are tutoring and she doesn't have choir? We can start next weekend off by trying to forget what happened _this_ weekend," Alice said.

"Yeah, that should work. Marlene has Quidditch practice that day and her post-practice showers are sacred. And Dorcas was saying Hufflepuff was going to have a silent film night, so I don't have to feel bad about going off to a prefects-only thing," Lily said.

"I mean, we could always sneak them in," Alice smiled. "But it'll be nice."

"Yes, I think so, too. I'll tell Emmeline when I see her next," Lily nodded. "Also… maybe you should try saying hello to Frank? Get it over-with?"

Alice sighed. "Probably. I'm gonna keep hiding at _least_ the rest of today, though."

"Fair enough."

* * *

James was fumbling through a pile of library books on his bedside table, looking for a piece of parchment that he'd shoved between the pages of one of them. He nearly dropped two of them, which he attempted to lift with his one good hand. This was when Remus stepped forward to take the books from him and began flipping through the pages.

James had told the others after breakfast that he'd figured out that tricky concealment charm that they wanted to use for the map, and now he just needed to find the test page that he'd made to actually show them.

Sirius and Peter watched the other two fumble with the books until Remus held up a blank sheet of parchment. "This it?"

"I think so," James said. "Tap it with your wand and say, 'James Potter is the best Quidditch player of all time.'"

Remus took out his wand but gave James a skeptical glance. "Really?"

"You see," Sirius said, sitting beside Remus to watch the piece of parchment better. "This is why we never defend you when people say you're egotistical."

"Fair enough," James shrugged. "Just do it."

Remus sighed heavily, tapping the parchment with is wand. "James Potter is the best Quidditch player of all time."

Their test map of Gryffindor tower revealed itself, dots with their housemate's names roaming around the common room and dorms.

"Nice," Peter nodded.

"How do you make it go away, then?" Sirius asked.

"Tap it again and say, 'He's handsome, too,'" James grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes and handed the parchment to Sirius.

"He's handsome, too," Sirius said, tapping the parchment. They watched as the map was wiped away from the parchment.

"Now, try saying something that's not the phrase to reveal it," James said.

"Hmm. James Potter is a pretty _decent_ Quidditch player. I guess," Sirius teased, tapping the parchment.

Ink bubbled up to the surface of the parchment, but the map of the tower is not what it formed. Instead, James' scrawl appeared, stating, _Sirius Black is not nearly as funny as he think he is._

"Nice!" Sirius grinned, unfazed by the insult. "And it'll do that to anyone that tries to get in?"

"Yep! Took a while to get it to work, but I figured we could do with some, er, _security measures,"_ James said. "This map in the wrong hands could end very badly for us, after all."

"James isn't that good looking," Remus said, tapping the parchment.

"Hey!" James said with a pout. More of his handwriting bubbled up below his previous jab at Sirius, reading, _Remus Lupin has no room to talk since he dresses like an old man._

"I do not!" Remus said.

"You kind of do," Sirius nodded.

"James Potter snores," Peter said, tapping the parchment with his wand.

_Peter Pettigrew needs a better haircut._

"You guys keep vetoing all my hair suggestions!" Peter pouted.

"Because they're all _bad_ , Pete," James said.

"So, what phrase are we gonna use for the map?" Sirius said.

"I kind of like the ones I have for this one," James said, gesturing to the parchment.

"No," Remus, Peter, and Sirius said at once.

"Well, _fine,"_ James huffed.

"How about, 'open sesame?'" Peter suggested.

"Too easy to guess," Remus shook his head.

Sirius leaned back against James' bed. "Hmm. 'Show me the fucking map,'" he suggested.

"Nah," James said. "This thing is gonna be our _legacy._ It needs to be something good."

"Which is ironic," Peter said, plopping down on Sirius' bed. "Since we're not going to be using the map for good."

"Maybe we can play on that," Remus said. "Something like, 'I am up to no good.'"

"Needs more flair," Sirius said, propping himself up on his elbows. "Like, hmm… _'I solemnly swear_ I am up to no good.'"

James pointed to Sirius with a grin. "I like that."

Remus got up to grab a quill from his things and another piece of parchment. He quickly began scribbling, saying out loud, _"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."_

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," Peter nodded, testing it out as well.

"So that opens it, how do we close it?" Sirius said.

"'Thank you, we're done,'" Remus shrugged.

"You don't need to be polite to it, Moony, the map is not going to be polite," James grinned. "And again, we're not using this to get to afternoon tea on time. We're going to be, well, _up to no good."_

"How about 'mission accomplished?'" Peter said.

"Maybe," James said thoughtfully. "What about 'mischief accomplished?'"

"Mischief managed!" Remus said at once.

"Yes!" Sirius said. "Alliteration!"

"That's good," James said. "'I solemnly swear I am up to no good,' and 'mischief managed.' It's very… hmm…"

"It's very on-brand," Sirius said.

"It's us," Peter smiled.

Remus wrote this down as well. "Pads, how's the calligraphy coming for the front of the map?"

"Ah, right," Sirius said, peeling himself off of James' bed to start shuffling through a pile of class notes and magazines near his bed. He pulled out a piece of parchment and showed the others.

Sirius had the best handwriting of the entire group, not by choice, but rather because part of his pre-Hogwarts tutoring required him to fill an entire roll of parchment a day with rows of small circles.

He had no idea how that resulted in his handwriting being as embarrassingly lovely as it was, but somehow it had. The others planned on cashing in on this for the map.

The parchment he showed them featured rows upon rows of crossed out names until near the bottom, Sirius' elegant scrawl read: _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, are proud to present The Marauder's Map._

"No offense, Moony, but why do you get top billing?" James said.

"Why shouldn't I?" Remus said.

"I'm fine with where my name is," Peter shrugged.

"I literally tried it in every other order and this one is the most aesthetically pleasing," Sirius said. "Believe me, I wanted 'Padfoot' first."

"Hmm," James said, examining the names critically.

"We need more than just the words, you should put a drawing of the castle with it, Prongs," Peter suggested.

"Yeah, that would look nice, make it a really grand reveal," Remus nodded.

"I can do that. I think we need something else between our names and 'The Marauder's Map,'" James said.

"Like what?" Peter asked.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, exceptionally handsome and talented individuals, are proud to present The Marauder's Map," Sirius said.

"Something like that," Remus said.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, grandest pranksters in all of Hogwarts history, are proud to present The Marauder's Map," Peter said.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, biggest gits to ever attend this school, are proud to present The Marauder's Map," Remus said.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, after somehow not getting expelled, are proud to present The Marauder's Map," Sirius said.

"I feel like that one will just jinx us," Peter said.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers, are proud to present The Marauder's Map," James said proudly.

"That's the one," Remus said with a nod. "It's _just_ pretentious enough."


	18. The Plunge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, guys, happy Friday/new chapter day! A fair warning, this chapter is *NSFW*! Mostly discussions like before... but this time a little more, too. Hope you like it, let me know!
> 
> Also, we're at 100 comments, which is so cool. Thank you guys for commenting, please keep doing so, I love reading your thoughts.

_James really should have seen this coming._

* * *

The Gryffindor team landed long after the sun had already set, breathing heavy and mumbling amongst themselves about the woes of post-dinner practices.

"Next time you're scheduled to serve detention during the same time we _usually_ have practice… think you can maybe _cancel_ practice for that day?" Wanda groaned in James' direction as he propped open the door to the locker room.

"It's so cold out," Mary said, wrapping her robes around herself like a blanket.

"And we could hardly see," Douglas added.

"Lily made up a charm to warm your sweater without it catching fire, I'll show you," Marlene said to Mary.

"Oh, me too! I'm always cold," Wanda said.

"Hey, _hey_ , practicing in different environments is great, we'll be ready for anything," James protested.

"Well I'm glad that in the event of a spontaneous, complete solar eclipse, we'll be ready," Gwen said sarcastically. "How many more detentions have you got?"

"For dueling Snivellus? One. Then I've got all next week with Slughorn for dying the Slytherins," James said.

"Have fun scrubbing cauldrons," Lawrence said.

"His detentions actually aren't that bad. He likes my dad," James shrugged, stepping in the locker room and closing the door behind him. Gwen was busy stretching as she did after every practice. Marlene was showing Lily's charm to Mary and Wanda. Lawrence and Douglas were digging through their lockers.

"Anyone have any extra broom polish?" Lawrence asked, shaking his empty bottle.

"In the dorm," Douglas said.

"Can I borrow some later?"

"Yeah, remind me."

"Oh my _gosh,_ this is the best charm _ever,"_ Wanda said, wrapping her arms around herself. "So cozy."

"Works on towels, too," Gwen said.

"Nice," Mary said, immediately casting the charm on her towels.

"I mean, if Evans was _really_ cold, she didn't have to invent a spell," James said, holding his broom across his shoulders. "I could certainly keep her warm."

Marlene snorted. "I think we'll stick with our sweaters."

"You know who I miss? Pogo, my Saint Bernard! He sleeps on my bed at home and he's _so warm,"_ Mary said.

"Dogs are better cuddlers than boys, too," Wanda nodded.

"I dunno, I'm pretty great at it," Douglas said.

"Oh?" Lawrence said skeptically. Douglas slid his arms around him.

"How is it?" James laughed.

Lawrence shifted a bit and seemed to consider this for a second before nodding. "Yes, good, I feel safe."

"The secret is to not squeeze too tight," Douglas said. "And don't prod them with your elbow."

"You can let go now," Lawrence said.

" _Fine."_

"I still miss my Pogo," Mary sighed, heading for the girls' showers. Marlene followed, a bag of various toiletries slung over her shoulder.

"I think you're at least as good at cuddling as a St. Bernard. You kinda look like one," Lawrence said to Douglas.

"Oh, wow, you do," said Gwen.

"Thank… you?" Doulas said.

"In a good way!" Lawrence clarified.

"Well," James said. "If no one needs me, I think I'm going to finally use my prefect's bathroom priviledges."

"Don't drown, I hear the tub in there is massive," Wanda warned.

"Yeah, if you die we might have to put Schnell on the team to replace you," Douglas cringed. "Don't put us through that."

"I'll do my best!" James called over his shoulder as he exited the locker room. The night _was_ brisk, but thankfully, it wasn't a far walk from the pitch to the castle. Sliding his broom over his shoulder again, he headed off.

It was a real shame he hadn't used the prefect's bathroom yet, honestly. He had almost forgotten it existed and he was allowed to use it with the full moons, classes, Quidditch, pranks, and detention for those pranks. Not to mention, the map and drawing in general also took up quite a bit of time.

He was overdue. He deserved a break.

"Peppermint," he said to the otherwise ordinary door on the fifth floor. It clicked open and James pushed the door to walk through.

His glasses were immediately fogged the moment he stepped inside, and the strong smell of lavender and vanilla assaulted him.

"What the hell," he mumbled, propping his broom against the wall before taking his glasses off to wipe the lenses on his robes.

"Potter? Get out!"

James looked up, squinting at two blurry figures at the counter near the sinks. One was dark-haired and sitting on the counter. The other was standing nearby and had red hair.

"Evans?" he said. He put his glasses back on his face to find that it was, in fact, Lily. Emmeline sat on the counter, a copy of Witch Weekly in her lap. They were both wearing comfortable-looking pajamas and lacked their usual makeup. "Have I walked in on a Roman bath situation? Do prefects bathe together? You lot are kinkier than I thought."

"We are not bathing together," Lily sighed.

"We're having a do-it-yourself sort of spa night," Emmeline said. "Also, Roman baths weren't necessarily kinky."

"If you're not bathing together, why is the tub filled?" James asked, gesturing to the grand bath, bubbles practically overflowing.

"That's so we can soak our feet for pedicures," said Emmeline.

"You filled that whole thing for your feet? That's a colossal waste of water," James said.

"No more than filling it so _one person_ can take a bath," Emmeline shrugged.

James nodded. "Touché." He approached the counter to curiously examine their polishes, potions and other beauty devices.

"Hey, Potter, you still have no business here, get _out,"_ Lily said. "How do you even have the password?"

"Quidditch captain," Emmeline reminded her. "Technically he's not breaking any rules."

"Yes, thank you, Vance," James nodded.

"You still can't just—just barge in!" Lily said, clearly exceptionally annoyed. Sometimes James wished she didn't look so cute when she was irritated.

Sometimes.

He laughed. "Maybe you should lock the door if you don't want anyone with the password to 'barge in.'"

"We were going to after Alice gets here," Emmeline said, flipping through her magazine a bit more and clearly not as bothered as Lily was.

"Get out, Potter, come on," Lily said again. James, however, was in no rush, strolling leisurely about the room.

"You know," James said, approaching the edge of the tub and looking at the obscene number of taps now. "You act like I did this on purpose. I was just going to take a bath after practice, hygiene and all! You lot being here has ruined _my_ plans far more than me being here has ruined yours."

Lily and Emmeline began whispering something, glancing his way every few seconds. Emmeline giggled and nodded.

"You girls and your secrets and your giggling," James said, turning back around to face them. "What's so funny?"

"You know, you're right, Potter," Lily said, walking up to him. "It's not fair of us to hog the bathroom when you just want to wash up."

"Did you just say I was right?" James grinned.

"Don't get used to it," Lily said. "Anyway, we would hate to inconvenience you, you should really take your bath."

James really should have seen this coming, but it was only when he was mid-smirk as Lily set her hand flat against his chest that he realized what was happening.

She pushed him back and James madly grabbed for anything to steady himself. This just so happened to be Lily's wrist. The girl let out a small shriek as her plan backfired and they both fell into the tub with a great splash.

As soon as they broke the surface, a laughing Emmeline called out, "Well! That worked."

Lily wiped bubbles from her face, sputtering a bit before swimming to the edge of the tub.

"If you wanted to take a bath with me so bad, Evans, all you had to do was ask," James grinned, glasses coated in suds. "Although I didn't expect Vance to be invited if we ever did this, but that's fine."

"You're gross, Potter," Lily said, standing on the bench on one side of the tub to climb out. The door opened again and Alice walked in, carrying a box of food from the kitchens.

"Oh, Lily, did you fall in?" Alice said, smiling in amusement as Emmeline whipped out her wand to help Lily dry off.

"She was shoving him in," Emmeline said, gesturing to the tub. James waved from within the pile of suds surrounding him.

"James?" Alice said, leaning to see around the suds better. "Oh, hello!"

"Orpington," he nodded.

"He just waltzed right in," Lily said, combing her fingers through her hair as she attempted to dry it with hot air from her own wand.

"They didn't lock the door," James said.

"Are you going to join our spa night, then?" Alice asked, setting the food down on the counter.

"No!" Lily said at once.

"But I want to minimize my pores or whatever!" James pouted, now with his arms folded over the edge of the tub.

"Quidditch probably trashes your nails, it trashes Marlene's," Alice said. "So, a manicure would be good, too."

"Will you let us put stuff on your face and make you take the Witch Weekly quizzes with us?" Emmeline asked, nearly through drying Lily's shirt.

"Oh, absolutely," James nodded. He wasn't about to pass up this opportunity to spend time with Lily, annoyed or not, and find out what the hell girls did at these slumber-party-type situations.

"Let's let him stay, Lily, huh?" Alice said. "Can we ask weird boy questions?"

"If I get to ask weird girl questions," James countered.

"That's fair," Emmeline said.

"Ugh. _Fine,"_ Lily sighed. "But swim around a bit first."

"Yeah, get less sweaty and gross," Emmeline agreed.

"Fine, fine," James said, peeling off his soaked wrist guards, boots, and outer robe and setting them on the edge of the tub. He gently set his glasses there as well before taking off on a backstroke. Alice locked the door and began to fiddle with a small cauldron.

* * *

Quidditch practice should have ended by now, but James was nowhere to be found. This concerned Sirius, who was almost always privy to where the other boy was. He tried contacting James on his mirror, only to hear his own voice echo from across the room, where James' mirror lay under a pile of laundry.

If James was off causing mischief without him and hadn't even taken his mirror along, Sirius was going to be _so_ offended.

Sirius decided to look for him, telling Remus and Peter as he left the dorm that he was off to make sure James wasn't dead. Remus was working on a stack of comics he had traded with Emmeline earlier and hardly heard him. Peter was battling with an essay and wished him luck.

Sirius decided it was best to check the locker room first, as maybe James had taken a page out of Jolene's book and practice had simply run quite long. When Sirius opened the locker room door, however, he did not find James.

Though, James could have been standing there dressed as a showgirl and Sirius likely wouldn't have noticed at first, as Marlene stood at her locker wearing only a towel as she dried her hair with her wand. Her attention was fixed on the mirror in her locker.

It was only when she said, "Like what you see?" that he realized she could clearly see him staring in said mirror.

"Shit," Sirius said, turning away and blocking his view with his hand. "Sorry! I, uh, well, I was looking for James."

"Oh Merlin, are you _nervous?"_ Marlene giggled. Why did girls giggle so much?

"I was not expecting to walk in on you is all," Sirius said defensively. "Also, sorry. Again."

"It's fine, it's not like it's the first time. James has walked in on me naked like twice," Marlene said. For a moment, Sirius was upset that James had never mentioned this.

To be fair, James had probably reacted in a similar fashion of turning away and apologizing. Especially considering Marlene was not Lily Evans.

Marlene walked over so that she was in his line of vision, hand firmly on her towel. He gave up, setting his hand down and hoping he wasn't turning red. "He left a while ago, though, everyone did. I'm not sure where he went, honestly, but if he's not playing Quidditch and not doing something stupid with you, he may actually be dying in a ditch somewhere."

"It's actually really sad how true that is," Sirius said. That was why he'd gone off looking for James, after all, as the boy was always either at Quidditch or with Sirius. But James' location was no longer as important as it had been a few minutes earlier, not when there were drops of water still gliding around the curves of Marlene's collar bone.

"Are you blushing?" Marlene grinned suddenly.

Shit.

"It's warm in here," Sirius said immediately, clearing his throat nervously.

"You're all nervous and blushing like you've never seen a naked girl before! I'm not even naked, I have a towel," she giggled.

_Why did they giggle so much?_

"I've seen plenty of naked women, okay, magazines exist," Sirius said without thinking. Realizing what he'd said, he cringed.

"Wait, so you've never seen a real one? What about all those rumors about your grand sexual exploits?" Marlene asked.

How were they having this conversation right now? In the locker room with Marlene wearing only a towel? How had Sirius walked in to this situation?

"Are you… _trying_ to make me uncomfortable?" Sirius groaned. "Look, I never had an orgy with the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, I figured Meadowes would have told you that."

"She did," Marlene nodded.

"I also never had sex with Skye, either, I don't know how _that_ one got started. Never had a three-way with Tanya and Edgar. Never got a blowjob from Lisa."

"The handjob from Jane?"

"No, that one happened," Sirius said, growing more and more red as the seconds passed. "So, there you go. Go ahead and make fun of Sirius Black: Virgin."

"This is so funny!" Marlene was _giggling_ again.

"It's not _that_ funny," Sirius frowned. He was certain he couldn't turn redder. What had he done to deserve this? How did he get here with the taunting image of his undressed crush standing in front of him, _laughing_ at him for being a virgin?

Was this some kind of karma for the brassiere prank they played on Snivellus the previous year? That wasn't fair, it was Remus' idea!

"No, no, I mean, me too! Same thing," Marlene said. "People have been calling me a slut and I've _never_ had sex."

"Oh," Sirius said. He supposed that was _slightly_ better than being laughed at for being a virgin. He cringed slightly. "What a stupid, sad thing to have in common."

"We're on the same, weird boat," Marlene nodded. "And you know what's worse is I worry that because of all that, when I _do_ have sex, that the guy will have all these expectations I can't live up to or he'll get weird if I say I _haven't_ actually done this before."

"Well, then he's a prat. He should be happy someone wants to have sex with him at all," Sirius shrugged, still fixated on the water droplets on her collarbone as he considered what she had said. "Although, I had never thought about that, thanks. Now I get to worry about getting a reputation of 'that bloke that really should be better, considering the rumors.'"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to drag you down that rabbit hole with me," she laughed.

"I thought we were on a boat, where's the rabbit hole?" Sirius said, forcing a smile.

If they could get to a lighter topic, that would be great. This whole scenario was so weird.

"We're on the same weird boat that you get to by diving down the same, weird rabbit hole," Marlene nodded. She bit her lip, seeming to think of something. Sirius really wished she wouldn't do anything in particular with her lips right now. "Er, you know…"

"Hm?" Sirius said. How long had he been there? "Oh! Do you want me to get lost?"

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

"No, actually," Marlene said, fiddling with the hem of her towel. "I was, um, just thinking. We could, you know, very easily get… _off_ this boat."

"Jump overboard from our metaphorical boat, hm? How do you suggest we do that, start new rumors?" Sirius said, cocking a brow.

"Er, no," Marlene said. "I mean, there's a really easy way to fix this, to stop worrying about first impressions and all. We just gotta… you know. Live up to the rumors a little."

Live up to the rumors a little.

_Live up to the rumors a little_.

Sirius was frozen in the spot and wondered if she could hear his heart beating as loudly as he could. The stupid organ crashed against his ribcage, rattling his insides. His mouth went dry.

Was she implying what he thought she was? If he was wrong, he could pay dearly.

"Um, what, er… what exactly are you saying?" he said, more softly than intended.

"Let's just, um, let's just do this," Marlene said, stepping closer. She had to be able to hear his heart now, it was so loud that he could barely hear her. "No one's around, just… why not?"

"You… want to have sex with me. Right here, right now," Sirius said, eyes wide, feeling that he needed the clarification to be sure this wasn't some bizarre dream. The situation kept getting weirder and weirder ever since he got to the locker room. Was the girl he liked _really_ saying these things to him?

"Don't you?" she said, glancing briefly down below his belt, where a certain part of his anatomy was betraying any subtlety he might have left. He cleared his throat nervously.

"Well…" he said. Yes. Absolutely. One-hundred-percent. Yes, _please._ Why was it so hard to say that? Talking seemed so difficult right now.

It must be the lack of blood to his brain.

"I mean, besides," Marlene said, gently unfastening her towel. Sirius' trousers felt so uncomfortably tight as it fell to the floor. "I'm already naked."

* * *

"So this is _supposed_ to harden," James said, poking at a thick potion that Emmeline had smeared across his nose and forehead.

"Yep, it's gonna suck every bit of rubbish out of your face," Emmeline said, casting a spell on her black-painted fingernails to prompt them to dry. The girls each sported some of the same potion on their faces as well. Alice was hard at work filing James' nails, which she insisted be done.

He had been able to talk them out of painting them. Sirius painted his; James didn't think he could pull it off as the other boy did.

"You know, you have lovely hands, such long fingers," Alice said.

"Pianist's fingers," Emmeline nodded. "Do you play?"

"Mum tried to get me into it, I got bored," James shrugged.

"If only you took care of your ruddy fingernails," Alice said, whipping out her wand to vanish the nail dust away. "There, better?"

James glanced at his hand and nodded. "Sure. I dunno what you did but there's not dirt or anything."

"What sign are you, Potter, a Leo? You seem like a Leo," Lily said. She had since accepted that James was not leaving and was now reading everyone's horoscope. She had already gone through hers and Alice's.

"I have no idea. Is that the lion one? I hope I'm the lion one," James grinned.

"When's your birthday?" Alice asked.

"The twenty-seventh of March," James said.

"Aries, then," Emmeline said.

"Which one is that?" James asked. "It's not the fish one is it?"

"No, you missed the fish one by like a week. Aries is the ram," Lily said.

"Hmm… appropriate," James nodded, supposing it was pretty close to a stag.

"It says you will experience great success—" Lily began.

"Already happened," James said, puffing out his chest. "160 to 90."

"—as well as great defeats," Lily continued. James frowned. "Thankfully your confidence is such that you will recover. Be sure those close to you know you are confident in _them_ , for there are things going on behind the scenes you may not be aware of. Your friends may bring you strength, but they can just as easily be your downfall. Also, be mindful of your spending this month."

"Well, that's vague and weird," James said.

"All horoscopes are," Emmeline said.

"Let's see, Em, you're a Capricorn," Lily said, scanning the page.

"Which one is that?" asked James.

"The sea goat!" Alice said.

"It's a goat with a fish tail," Emmeline said.

"How do we have lions, rams, and then goat-fish hybrids?" James said.

"We're freaks of nature," Emmeline said dryly.

"Says you'll face great disappointment, do not let your tendency toward perfectionism slow you down in the face of this and take this time to learn to relax and appreciate your blessings in life," Lily read.

"See, vague and potentially upsetting," Emmeline said. "And I feel like every Capricorn horoscope says to relax."

"You lot _do_ need to relax," Lily said. "Severus is a Capricorn, too."

Emmeline made a noncommittal noise. James supposed that was the nicest response one could have to the knowledge that they shared any traits with Severus Snape.

"David Bowie is a Capricorn," the Ravenclaw mused.

"I think these are ready to come off," Alice said, tapping the dried potion on her face gently.

"Do we just scrape it off, or?" James asked. Alice grinned, reaching for his face.

"Let me do it!"

"Okay?" James said.

"Take off your glasses," Emmeline warned.

James did so as Alice lifted up the corner of the hardened potion sheet. Then, with one fell swoop, she tore it off.

"Motherfu—!" James said, grabbing his nose, just to be sure Alice hadn't ripped it off too. While he was busy with that, Alice tore the potion on his forehead off. "That was awful!"

"Okay but look at this," Alice said, holding up the sheets she had ripped off his face. He put his glasses back on to take a look.

"That was all in my _face?!"_ James said, taking them from her and gazing at them in horror and intrigue.

"Yep, your pores are all clean now," Alice said, proceeding to make a face as she tore hers off. Lily and Emmeline were taking a gentler approach with theirs.

"What even is all this?" James said.

"Dead skin, dried sweat," Emmeline said, critically examining the dry potion sheet in her hand.

"Probably hair," Lily added.

"Yeah, peach fuzz, definitely. But feel your face!" Alice encouraged. James set a hand to his forehead and his eyes widened.

"Merlin, I'm all soft!" he said.

"It's great, right?" Alice said.

"I have such mixed feelings about this whole experience," James said, still rubbing his forehead.

"Let us wax your eyebrows next!" Alice grinned.

"That sounds awful," he said, covering his eyebrows protectively. Emmeline took his hand away to examine his brows.

"They're not _that_ bad. Do you pluck them?" she asked.

"No…?" he said.

"Just a little touch-up and they'll be _great,"_ Alice nodded.

" _No,"_ he said again.

"Hmph. Fine. Then let's find out which _The Gorgeous and the Gargoyles_ characters we're all most like," Alice said, reaching for one of the magazines.

"We don't let her near our eyebrows either," Emmeline said.

"She's very aggressive," Lily nodded.

"Yeah, I picked up on that," James said.

"I wish to be aggressively beautiful," Alice grinned. The others snickered.

"Oh, did you ever talk to Frank?" Lily asked.

"He's been looking for you," James said.

"Has he? Ugh, I can't, I'm… I'm still _so_ embarrassed!" Alice cringed. "I'm sure he wants to tell me never to speak to him again."

"No, he doesn't," James said.

"Do you know something?" Emmeline asked.

"Did he say anything?" Lily asked.

"Is this the gossip portion of the evening?" James asked.

"If you have gossip to share, it is," Alice said. "Did he say he's disgusted with me? _What do you know?"_

"He hopes you weren't joking around and you really do like his face and arse," James said. "Also, he thought you were adorable when you passed out. And when he said that, we all made fun of him for ten minutes. That's about all I know, besides that he's fancied you a while."

"Which _we_ told you," Emmeline said.

"He thought I was adorable? My makeup was all smeary and I'm pretty sure I drooled all over his pillow," Alice winced.

James shrugged. "He said you were adorable."

"So talk to him," Lily said. The others nodded.

"Fine, fine! I'll… I won't hide next time I see him," Alice said.

"It's something," Emmeline said.

* * *

Fumbling hands gripping clothing, an incantation, and a groan as a lock on a locker dug into a spine. Slipping on damp floors, tugging at hair, and teeth dragging against flesh.

Somehow they had settled on one of the long benches in the locker room, her nails digging nervously into his shoulders. He kept staring, she did too, hearts pounding and nervous kisses delaying what was to come.

"Er, are you ready?" Sirius said.

"Yeah, yeah, just don't like—I mean, go slow?"

"Okay."

Pressure, so much pressure. Her nails dug deeper and she winced, urging herself to take deep breaths, to relax.

"Stop, stop for a second," she groaned, shifting slightly as he complied. "Okay, go."

She winced again, staring at the ceiling past his head. Just a bit further now. She could do this. People did this all the time, it wasn't a big deal, it wasn't anything to be so anxious about. She sighed heavily once there was no further to go. The worst of it was through.

"Ready to rock the boat?"

"You're such a dork, let the boat metaphor die."

"You _love_ the boat metaphor."

"Like, three metaphors ago."

"You never answered my question."

"Yes, yes, go ahead."

And so, he did. Her eyes still fixed on the ceiling, her breath hitched with each movement, the pressure beginning to let up as they went. He groaned into her neck and she held him tight, finally closing her eyes and moving her hips along with his.

* * *

Lily and Alice had gone off to walk Emmeline back to the Ravenclaw tower. James bid them farewell before walking in the opposite direction toward Gryffindor tower, feeling rather pleased with himself for having spent an overall pleasant evening with Lily and not once bickering with her once it was decided that he could stay.

Granted, that was in part because Lily spoke to him _very little_ in comparison to the other girls, but James still intended to count this night as a win.

As James climbed through the portrait hole, he saw Sirius starting up the steps to the boy's dorm.

"Prat!" he called. Sirius paused, looked over, and grinned as he waited for James to catch up.

"There you are. I was looking for you earlier," Sirius said as they started up the stairs together.

"I understand. You lot are lost without me. I am the glue that holds this group together," James said very seriously. "But, fear not, I have returned to you."

"I can rest easy now," Sirius laughed, pushing open the door to their dorm.

Remus glanced up from his comic at the sound of the door. "Where've you lot been? You seem… happy and glowy and I feel like I should be scared."

"You smell nice, Prongs, like vanilla," Peter said.

"And lavender, too," James said.

"Prefect's bathroom?" Remus asked. James nodded.

"Walked in on Evans, Vance, and Orpington having a spa night and was invited to join," James said, plopping down on his bed after setting his broom back in its proper place.

"Not by Lily?" Remus said, cocking a brow.

"Unfortunately, no, but she only berated me a little and my pores look great now, so," James shrugged.

"Did you join spa night, too, then? You left to find Prongs a _while_ ago, we were about to go try to find _you_ ," Remus said, addressing Sirius.

"No, I got, well, _distracted,"_ Sirius grinned.

"You smell like a girl, too," Peter said.

"That I do," Sirius said, grin still fixed to his face.

"So what—or who—had you distracted?" Remus said.

"Oh you know," Sirius said oh-so-casually, "I went to the locker room to find Prongs and see what was taking so long and ran into McKinnon."

"She takes the longest showers, I swear," James said.

"Well, she'd just gotten out, you see, hadn't gotten dressed yet," Sirius said.

"I swear," Remus said. "If you _spied_ on her—"

"I said I'd leave! But then she asked me to _stay_ and took off her towel," Sirius said, taking a seat on his own bed. He had their full attention.

"Is this going where I think it's going?" James said after a beat.

"I don't know, do you think I'm going to say I shagged Marlene McKinnon in the locker room?" Sirius asked.

"What!?" Peter said.

"You didn't," Remus said skeptically.

"I did," Sirius nodded.

"Wait, wait," James said, putting his hands up. "So, I spent the night taking quizzes in Witch Weekly while you were off getting laid?"

"Yep," Sirius said.

"What kind of joke is this!?" James exclaimed.

"Now, I've got to preface this by saying that what you did was private and Marlene is lovely and I have nothing but respect for her. Now, tell us how it went," Remus said, his stack of comics long forgotten.

"Really slippery, I do not recommend locker rooms," Sirius said.

"Did you at least clean up after?" James cringed. "I have to use that locker room, you know."

"We can't be the first to have sex in there, I heard a rumor that's where Jolene conceived," Sirius said.

"I heard it was in the stands," Remus said.

"Anyway, yes, we cleaned up," Sirius said.

"Okay," Peter said. "But how was the sex part?"

"Awkward as hell, I imagine, since it was dear Padfoot's first," Remus smiled.

"Shut up, Moony," Sirius said, his grin finally faltering.

"Well, McKinnon's done this a few times, right? I'm sure it wasn't _that_ bad," James said.

"It was her first, too," Sirius said.

"Oh," Remus said. "So _neither_ of you knew what you were doing."

Sirius sighed. "Fuck, it's not like it's _hard—"_

"It's supposed to be, that's your first problem," James snickered.

"So there was _no_ awkward fumbling and positioning and slipping?" Remus teased.

"I'm gonna remember this when you idiots lose yours," Sirius mumbled.

"I'm gonna take that as a 'yes, it was super awkward,'" Remus said.

"I'm still one sexual experience better at it than the rest of you," Sirius said. "And I will gladly study this craft until I am legendary."

"With McKinnon?" James said.

"Of course," Sirius nodded.

"So, are you finally a thing, then?" Remus said.

"Girls don't just shag someone for fun, Moony. This is the start of something glorious and sexually active," Sirius said.

"Okay," James said. "Well, my horoscope says I should be carefully with money this month, so."

Peter sighed. "I don't understand why you haven't told us about her boobs yet."

* * *

Lily had hardly stepped into her dormitory when Marlene leaped up from her bed and practically sprinted to the girl.

"Lily!" she said.

"Marlene!" Lily said.

"I have to talk to you _now,"_ Marlene said, dragging Lily to her bed and hastily closing the curtains, casting silencing spells as she went. Lily cocked a brow at these quick precautions as she made herself more comfortable atop Marlene's bed. This must be quite important.

"What happened?" Lily asked.

"I had sex," Marlene blurted out.

"What!?" Lily said, eyes wide. "When? With who? _What!?"_

"Sirius came by the locker room looking for James, I was the only one there—"

"You had sex with _Sirius Black!?"_

"Well, I mean, I've been wanting to get this over with and he's nice, we flirt all the time, it doesn't mean anything," Marlene explained. "Then the opportunity presented itself so… I went with it."

"Oh my _God,_ Marly," Lily said, eyes still wide. She never thought Marlene would _actually_ go along with her plan to keep her first time casual. "How was it?"

Marlene winced, burying her face in her hands. _"Awkward!_ And slippery, we almost fell over like four times, don't ever have sex in a locker room. We were both nervous, he made bad jokes…"

"Did it hurt?"

"At first, yeah. Then I got used to it and managed to relax and it hurt less. Sirius was really good at listening and going slow while I got used to everything."

"Well, he's done this before, hasn't he?"

"No, it was his first time, too."

"Huh. So how was his…" Lily said, turning red. _"You know."_

"It was so weird! But I've seen others before, I think all genitals are just… weird. Vaginas are just more subtle about it."

"About how big…?"

Marlene held her hands apart, roughly the appropriate size. "About that."

"I don't know if that's good or not, is that good?" Lily asked.

"I think so. I'll let you know how he compares the next time I have sex," Marlene said.

"Not gonna be Sirius next time, then?"

"Nah."

" _Really?"_

"Look, guys shag girls without it meaning anything all the time. This isn't the _start_ of anything, it's just two friends getting an awkward first over with."

"If you say so," Lily said.


	19. Don't Make Me Laugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Happy start of the weekend if you get weekends off! I hope with all the hurricane action happening lately that you're all staying safe. 
> 
> Hope you like the fall-out from the last chapter in this one, let me know what you think.

_He continued laughing, holding his cigarette to the side as he was unable to smoke and laugh simultaneously._

* * *

"So, I decide I'm going to shove the git in, right, but then he grabs my wrist and pulls _me_ in too, so, _that_ happened," Lily was saying.

Lily and Marlene were not in a huge rush to get to breakfast, as it was Saturday and breakfast always ran late in anticipation of students waking up late. So, it was with a yawn and at a leisurely place that the pair descended the stairs of the girls' dorm.

"Must've been a dream for him," Marlene snorted, opening the door to the common room. The Marauders were waiting on Peter to tie his shoelaces before heading down to breakfast themselves. Lily did everything possible to avoid Remus' tired gaze, still embarrassed about his rejection.

"Hey," Sirius grinned as the girls entered.

"Morning," Marlene said. Before the blonde knew what was happening, Sirius had pressed his lips to hers to supplement his earlier greeting. Lily cocked a brow, watching the surprised Marlene curiously.

"What was that for?" Marlene asked.

"Do I need a reason?" Sirius asked.

"I mean, we've always had one before," Marlene smiled. "Did I miss a joke?"

Now Sirius looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we always kiss as like a punchline, what's the joke this time?"

The other Marauders shifted awkwardly and Lily suddenly became very interested in the golden lions on the mantle.

"There's… no joke?" Sirius said, brow furrowed.

Tense silence fell over the small group. Marlene seemed vaguely horrified, glancing Lily's way briefly as though to ask for help. The redhead subtly shrugged, having no idea what to do in such a situation, or really, what exactly this situation even _was_.

"Um, uh, Lily, I'll meet you at breakfast. Sirius, can we, er, talk for a minute?" Marlene said. Lily gave Marlene a brief wave before heading out of the common room. Sirius glanced at his friends and nodded in the direction of the portrait hole to indicate that they, too, should leave.

It did not go unnoticed by Marlene and Sirius that James, Remus, and Peter were walking quite slowly. Marlene dragged Sirius to the far corner of the common room and spoke in hushed tones the others wouldn't hear.

"What's going on?" she said.

"What do you mean? I just kissed you, it's not like we didn't _just_ do worse than that," Sirius said.

"You're acting like we're a couple or something," Marlene said.

Sirius hesitated, clearly baffled. "Er… yeah?"

Marlene's stomach dropped, her heart raced. No! _No, no, no!_ This wasn't how this was supposed to go! What went wrong?

"Sirius, I—I—I'm so _sorry._ I thought we were on the same page," she stuttered, unsure how exactly to break this to him. This was never supposed to happen! She should have listened to Lily. She should have stopped kissing him as a punchline ages ago.

But it had never, not once, occurred to her that he didn't feel precisely the way she did every time he would counter one of her sarcastic quips with one of his own.

"What do you mean?" Sirius said again.

"I don't—I'm not—I'm so sorry, but—you're not—I don't want to be your girlfriend, Sirius! I thought—I mean—I thought last night was just, you know, two friends doing each other a favor. No pressure because we were just friends?"

"Just friends," he repeated.

" _Really good_ friends, I care about you a lot, I just, you know, not necessarily _that_ way," Marlene said, her stomach turning as she spoke. Oh, she messed up. So bad.

"Do you intend to shag Evans, too? For the experience?" Sirius asked after a moment. He had long since given up looking her in the eye.

"I had no idea you felt _anything_ like that for me. We've always, I mean, we joke around constantly and I never wanted my first time to be a big deal," Marlene said.

"No, no, don't worry about it," Sirius said, though his tone was cold. "I clearly—I just—I seem to have misinterpreted the situation. And you."

_And you_ hit Marlene hard in the chest.

"I really—Sirius, please, I never meant to hurt you, I really thought we both—"

"Both just fooling around, right, right," Sirius nodded, beginning to step away from her. "You didn't _hurt_ me, just, just forget about it."

"Sirius, I'm _so_ sorry," Marlene said again, stepping after him.

"I just—! I have one question," Sirius said, turning back to her. "Exactly how long would it have had to go before you realized maybe I wasn't joking anymore?"

She winced. "We—we _always_ joke."

"Yeah. Haha," he said dryly, walking off with his hands in his pockets and his head forcibly held high. Marlene began to walk after him but stopped short and watched him go. What else could she possibly say? Nothing short of a declaration of romantic interest would fix this now. And after everything that had just been said, he would think it untrue.

And he would be right.

Once Marlene was sure he was long gone from the other side of the portrait, she exited the common room and headed for the great hall.

* * *

Lily, Dorcas, and Emmeline sat at the Gryffindor Table, Dorcas speaking of one of the odd silent films that her house had watched the previous night.

"I mean I still don't know why the leads were in love except for the fact that they were both good-looking," she was saying.

"A lot of films do that, it's annoying," Emmeline nodded along. "Sometimes I like to think about how weird their lives must be after the movie ends."

"I don't understand why you don't love me anymore!" Dorcas said dramatically.

"Because, my dear, you have no personality, and tragically, neither do I," Emmeline responded, equally dramatic. Lily snickered at the display. "Beauty can only make up for so much blandness."

"No! There must be something we can do!"

"Alas, there is not! I must go do a sequel where no one will mention you and I will find another, equally bland but beautiful person to fall in love with by mistaking an exciting situation for an exciting relationship!"

"I shall miss you," Dorcas sighed. "But I understand."

"You two are dorks," Lily said.

"We have _personality,"_ Dorcas corrected.

"You guys! _You guys!"_ Alice practically squeaked, collapsing into the seat beside Dorcas.

"What's up?" Lily asked.

"Where's Marlene?" Alice asked, suddenly noticing the blonde's absence.

"Er, she'll be here soon, what's going on?" Lily said.

"Okay, okay, so I went down to the common room last night to see if I left my potions book there and just then Frank came back from patrol. And I told you guys I wouldn't run off the next time I saw him, so I didn't."

"That's great!" Lily said. "So, did you talk to him?"

"Yeah! He said that he hoped I didn't feel weird about the night I got drunk and I was like 'Why would I feel weird? _You_ should feel weird, I was awful!' And I apologized so many times for the fact that he basically babysat me the whole time and he said that he'd do it any time, because, oh _Merlin_ you guys, he said that _my_ face was good, too."

"Aw, he _likes_ you," Emmeline said in a sing-song voice.

"Then what happened?" Dorcas asked.

"We talked a bit, I guess you lot were right when you said he'd been trying to ask me out for years and just never found the nerve, and I told him that made _no_ sense because _he's_ the hot and smart head boy how am _I_ intimidating? And then I realized I called him hot to his face while sober and I was _so horrified,"_ Alice groaned.

"Okay, but considering that mark," Emmeline said, pointing to the side of Alice's neck near her collar. "I'd say it probably ended okay."

Alice turned bright red and adjusted her collar.

"Alice! Did you snog Frank?" Lily gasped.

"I'm not even sure how it happened! One second I was apologizing for being an idiot and calling him hot like that because I thought I was making him uncomfortable, and the next his mouth was on my mouth and—yeah I snogged Frank. Like, a _lot_ ," Alice said, her face still bright red but her smile wide, bright, and unwilling to be hidden.

"Finally!" Dorcas said.

"Good for you," Emmeline nodded.

"I told you just to talk to him, see?" Lily said.

"Are you guys gonna go out?" Dorcas asked.

"We're having lunch today in Hogsmeade." Alice was still grinning.

"And breakfast now?" Emmeline said, pointing down the table where an equally cheery Frank was waving Alice over.

"Oh, I guess so! I'll see you guys later, okay?" Alice said, getting up from her seat and practically floating over to Frank.

"I just won my bet!" Dorcas cheered. "Where's Sirius? James is over there but his other half is weirdly absent…"

Emmeline winced. "Marlene's not late because they're off _snogging_ again, are they?"

"I doubt it," Lily said.

"Yeah, Marlene's _here,"_ Dorcas said, gesturing the doors of the great hall. "She sure doesn't _look_ like she just got through snogging someone."

Marlene looked slightly pale, a frown fixed to her face and her gaze cast downward at the floor, a great contrast to her usual confident stride. She slid into the seat Alice had just vacated, wordlessly.

"What happened?" Lily said.

Marlene groaned, tugging at her platinum curls. "I messed up, guys, _I really messed up."_

"How?" Emmeline asked.

"Did you tell them anything about… _you know?"_ Marlene said to Lily. The redhead shook her head.

"No, I thought that was yours to tell," Lily said. Marlene nodded.

" _What happened?"_ Dorcas said.

Marlene gestured for the other girls to lean in close so that she could whisper. They complied, listening intently. Lily watched the other two, curious about their reactions.

"I had sex with Sirius last night," Marlene whispered.

"WHAT!?" Emmeline and Dorcas said in unison. Lily and Marlene shushed them immediately as others glanced over curiously at this display.

"He came by the locker room looking for James, I was the only one there, one thing led to another," Marlene explained hastily, still in hushed tones. "I figured, this is great, this is my opportunity to just get the awkward first over with."

"So how did you mess up? Did you forget protection? _Are you pregnant?_ " Dorcas whispered, eyes wide. Emmeline simply sat with eyes darting among those talking.

"No! Merlin, _no,_ we used protection," Marlene said.

"Did you finally catch feelings, then?" Dorcas asked.

"No. No, that's not the problem. _He_ caught feelings," Marlene groaned. "He kissed me earlier for no reason and I got confused, so I stayed behind to talk to him and I guess the whole time I thought we were still joking with the flirting and everything, but… I guess he wasn't."

"Did you think the sex was joking, too?" Emmeline blurted out.

"I thought we were on the same page, that it didn't mean anything and we were doing each other a favor," Marlene said.

"One hell of a favor," Dorcas said.

"Blokes have sex all the time without it meaning anything! I didn't think he liked me that way, really, you guys," Marlene said with a heavy sigh. "So, I told him that, I told him I don't want to date him and I was sorry for everything and he said it was fine, but he said it in such a… I don't know, passive-aggressive way that I just know he hates me now and I promise I never meant to hurt him, _I'm so stupid."_

"I mean, are you _sure_ you don't feel anything romantic for him?" Lily said. "Even after last night?"

Marlene sighed again. "I know it doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, not really," Emmeline said.

"I wish I did, I wish I could make this better and feel what he does, but I can't. When we were done, I didn't feel closer to him or anything, I just felt relieved I had gotten it over-with. I messed up," Marlene said. "I'm waiting for his friends to get in my face about it."

"You think they will?" Lily said, glancing toward James, Remus, and Peter.

"If someone did what I did to any of you, I'd mess them up," Marlene said. "You guys were right. I should have stopped with him ages ago. Now we're not even friends."

* * *

Sirius had failed to show up for breakfast for quite a while, and when Marlene showed up without him, the remaining Marauders decided they had better go find him. This is how Remus found himself breaking into the astronomy tower yet again. They climbed up to the top and sure enough found Sirius sitting on one of the ramparts, flicking ash from his cigarette over the edge.

"That is exceptionally unsafe," James said.

"How'd you know I'd be here?" Sirius said, ignoring James' comment. Peter held up one of their draft maps.

"You okay? Marlene looked upset when she got to breakfast," Remus said. Sirius snorted.

"Please get off that," James said.

"Fine, _Mum,"_ Sirius said with a roll of the eye, standing up to jump off the Rampart and back to where the others stood. "And I dunno why _McKinnon_ is upset."

"Oh, boy. What happened?" Remus asked.

"Seems I've misinterpreted things. She just wanted to get her first time over with. With someone that didn't matter," Sirius said.

"She said that?" Peter said.

"She said we were two friends doing each other a favor and that she does not want o be my girlfriend. Which is _just fine."_ Sirius took a deep drag on his cigarette.

The others frowned. James clapped Sirius on the back.

"I'm sorry, Mate, I know you like her a lot," the bespectacled boy said.

"I'm _fine!"_ Sirius laughed. "She's just a girl! Just a stupid girl! There are a million just like her! You know how many muggle girls ask me out when I go to shows? You know how many I've snogged at the bar? There is no lack of girls in my life!"

He continued laughing, holding his cigarette to the side as he was unable to smoke and laugh simultaneously. The others exchanged glances as Sirius leaned against he rampart to steady himself.

"You're doing that thing again," Remus said.

"What thing?" Sirius said between laughs.

"That laughing thing," Peter said.

"The 'I don't know how to deal with this so I'm just going to laugh hysterically' thing," James nodded.

"No, I'm not," Sirius said, entirely unconvincing as he was still shaking with laughter. "I can deal with this! There's nothing to deal with! We fucked! It didn't mean anything to her and I don't _love_ her or anything. I'm _fine_ and the 'laughing thing' is not something I do."

"Bullshit, you're doing it now. And remember first year after your parents sent you a howler when you got sorted into Gryffindor? You did this then," Remus said.

"And again when Andromeda got disowned and your parents threatened to do the same to you if you kept in contact with her," James said.

"And the first time McGonagall got _really_ mad at us," Peter nodded.

"After you almost got me expelled and Snape killed, I knew you actually felt bad because you didn't stop laughing like this for like an hour," Remus said.

"Oh, and there was the time two summers ago when my dad accidentally hit you with a Bludger and my mum thought he killed you and fussed over you so much she cried," James said. "And when you realized she was crying over _you_ , this happened."

"Fine! Fine, I get it," Sirius said, still laughing as he slid to the stone floor to sit there.

"It'll be okay, Pads, you'll get over her," Remus said.

"I'm _so_ stupid," Sirius groaned. "I just, I keep going over everything she said last night and it's _so obvious_ she didn't _like_ me that way, I'm _such a moron!"_

He forced a deep breath before shouting, "FUCK!" in frustration, his voice echoing slightly.

The others waited patiently as he caught his breath and his laughter finally calmed.

"Hey, look at it this way," James said, plopping down beside Sirius. "You got used for your _body."_

"Yeah, any of us would love to be in that position," Peter nodded. "I hope to one day be used for mine."

"Get a better goal, Worm," Remus smiled.

"What are you talking about? It's only a matter of time, I'm better looking than all of you put together!" Peter said, strutting across the tower as though he was on a catwalk. The others laughed, Sirius' laughter managing to be genuine rather than nervous.

"Point is, your ego will recover," Remus said.

"And we can always prank McKinnon," James said.

Sirius said his cigarette back to his lips. "Maybe."

* * *

Hogsmeade was covered in snow, and bundled up students shuffled in and out of warm shops, shivering in-between. Even with Lily's sweater charm, the girls huddled together, their noses turning pink from cold. Their boots crunched in the snow as they went.

"It's not even winter yet," Dorcas whined, her breath fogging before her.

"Tell that to Scotland," Lily said.

"Let's just get somewhere warm. Puddifoot's or the Three Broomsticks?" Marlene said.

"Looks like the Three Broomsticks is crowded as hell," Emmeline said, looking ahead. A crowd of students was spilling out from the door.

"Puddifoot's then," Lily said. "I hope she doesn't get mad at me for not buying anything.

"I'll get you a cup of tea, you can just owe me one once you've got that sneakoscope," Marlene said.

"Thank you, Marly," Lily said, rubbing her hands together in an attempt to warm them.

"Yeah, well, we can't have you being a Lily-sicle," Marlene said. They finally saw the (thankfully less crowded) tea shop, finding a colorful sign in the window advertising hot chocolate, topped with whipped cream and pink sprinkles.

"Ooh, forget tea," Dorcas said, pointing to said sign. The other girls murmured in agreement, the image looking all too appealing as they trudged through the snow to the door. They took out their wands to quickly melt the slush from their boots out of courtesy before slipping inside. They were delighted to find their usual table near the window in the corner was vacant.

They slipped out of their coats and scarves, draping them over their chairs before taking a seat. Madam Puddifoot arrived almost instantly, a kind smile on her face.

"Hello, girls!" she said. "Would you like to try the gourmet hot chocolate today?"

"Yes, please, four for the table," Dorcas nodded.

"Oh, and some scones and honey, please," Emmeline said.

"Coming up," Puddifoot said, walking off.

Emmeline shuffled through her coin pouch a moment before saying, "I'll pay for the scones."

"Bless you," Marlene said, pulling off her gloves.

"So, we were so focused on you breaking dear Sirius' heart, we didn't as you anything else," Dorcas said to Marlene.

" _Shh,"_ Marlene said, gesturing to Puddifoot, who was approaching with a tray of scones.

"Your cocoa will be out soon," the older woman said pleasantly. The girls thanked her and she went on her way.

"Okay, okay, what do you want to know?" Marlene said in hushed tones.

"How much are you willing to say?" Dorcas asked.

"Well, Lily asked how big his… _you know_ was last night," Marlene shugged. Lily's cheeks turned pink. Emmeline seemed very interested in drizzling honey on her scone.

"Like you weren't wondering, too," Lily mumbled.

"Well?" Dorcas said. Marlene held up her hands the appropriate amount of inches apart again. Dorcas nodded, Emmeline tilted her head, unsure.

"Well," Dorcas said, readjusting Marlene's hands slightly. "That's about average, so he's doing well for himself."

"How do you know what the average is?" Lily said.

"My brother and his friends got into a literal dick measuring contest over the summer and are under the impression that their voices _don't_ carry from the basement through the air vent in my room," Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Boys are weird."

"Who won?" Marlene snickered as Puddifoot set a large, ornate cup of cocoa in front of each girl. Dorcas waited until she was gone to respond.

"My brother. Which makes me very uncomfortable to think about," Dorcas said with a cringe.

"Way to go, Josh," Marlene nodded. Lily and Emmeline snorted.

"You keep your womanly wiles away from my little brother," Dorcas said, mocking sternness.

"He's thirteen, don't worry," Marlene said.

"Anyway, do you feel different now?" Dorcas asked.

"I'm kind of sore?" Marlene shrugged, lightly blowing on her cocoa in an attempt to cool it. "I'm not like, enlightened now or anything, if that's what you mean."

"So, wait, what you're saying," Lily said, her tone mocking seriousness, "Is that penises—penii?"

The group turned to their Ravenclaw questioningly.

"Penises. Or Penes," Emmeline said with a short nod, taking a sip of her cocoa.

"Penises _don't_ hold all the secrets to the universe?" Lily finished.

"I know, I'm disappointed, too," Marlene said.

"Why even have sex, then?" Lily sighed dramatically.

"Why have it with _men,_ then?" Dorcas added.

"I mean, that's the real lesson here," Marlene said. "That and make sure if it's casual, the other person _knows_ that."

"I mean, that feels obvious. But here we are," Emmeline shrugged. Marlene groaned softly.

"Do you think he'll ever talk to me again?" the blonde said.

"No idea, honestly," Lily said, licking whipped cream from her lips.

"Would _you_ talk to you again?" Emmeline said, eyes set on the remainder of her scone. Marlene frowned.

"You're being a downer again," she said to the Ravenclaw.

"I'm being realistic again," Emmeline mumbled, taking another drink from her mug.

"I think it probably depends on how _much_ he likes you," Dorcas said, attempting to be helpful. "Like, if he went into this completely in love with you, he's gonna be hurting for a _while_. But if it's just like, a school boy crush, then maybe he'll get over it sooner and be okay going back to a friendship place."

"Maybe," Emmeline said.

"He's gonna be sulky and dramatic either way, it's Sirius Black," Lily said, taking a spoon to scoop out her whipped cream and eat it before it melted entirely.

"And you're probably going to get pranked," Dorcas added.

"Yeah," Lily and Emmeline said at once. Marlene groaned again.

"I would probably, just, you know, give him some space and let the sting of it wear off a bit," Dorcas said, reaching for a scone.

"Maybe by the time he sleeps with some other poor girl, he'll be over it," Lily shrugged. "And if not, you don't need him."

"I know you don't like him, Lils, but he's a cool guy, really. I like being friends with him and the others. I'm just… mad at myself for letting one night mess it up."


	20. All Is Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty chapters! This is a milestone, you guys! This is also around when I realized that this story was gonna be waaaay longer than I initially thought, which tends to be the story of my life with this stuff. Anyway, this chapter is a little shorter but it's also one of my favorites so far. Let me know what you think of it and thank you for sticking with me for twenty chapters!

" _You want a bet? You've got a bet."_

* * *

Lily and Emmeline made their way down the twisting steps of the Divination tower, class now over. Emmeline was softly nodding along as Lily spoke, eyes fixed on the stairs.

"…I mean, at least there were no marriage predictions today, there's that," Lily said, shoving her divination text book in her bag as she went.

"Mmhm," Emmeline said.

"And you and Dumbledore both seem to be in good health, just in case your pendulum was right. I hate that it was right about Remus, it's got me kind of panicked about the Potter stuff, but, you know, I was thinking about it and James Potter isn't exactly an uncommon name."

"Mmhm."

Lily frowned, glancing Emmeline's way curiously. "Am I boring you?"

"No, no, you're fine," Emmeline said as they reached the bottom of the tower.

"Are you okay? You seem sort of… _off_ lately. Your answers are really short and all," Lily said.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Emmeline said. Lily was unconvinced.

"You sure? You know you can talk to me," Lily said. Emmeline simply nodded. "Are you nervous about choir? I know you said they made some comments about your Killer Queen performance."

"Yeah, yeah, it's just choir," Emmeline said, waving her hand as though to wave Lily's concerns away.

Lily eyed her friend suspiciously, stopping in their commute to properly face her. "Really, Em, what's wrong?"

The two girls stared each other down for a moment. Who would give in first? Would Lily stop asking what was wrong, or would Emmeline finally admit something was? Who was more stubborn?

Emmeline sighed heavily, seeming to decide it wasn't worth the energy to keep denying anything. "I don't want to talk about it now, here," she said. Lily nodded.

"Meet me in the trophy room after class, no one hangs out there," Lily suggested. "And we can talk?"

"Yeah, okay," Emmeline said. She sounded reluctant.

Odd, usually Emmeline didn't fight so much about telling Lily or Marlene or Dorcas what was bothering her. She might curl up into herself, whine into the table at a meal, and catastrophize, but she would usually talk to them.

"Okay," Lily said, offering her a friendly smile as they began to walk again.

"Your fiancé doesn't seem to be around today," Emmeline observed as they began descending the grand staircase. James hadn't "accidentally" run in to them during their commute from Divination in a while now.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Maybe he decided to cut it out after I told him he was being creepy."

"That's good," Emmeline said. "He's capable of learning."

"Only so much," Lily said. "That and I'm sure Black needs him more than I do right now. They should honestly just forget me and Marlene and date each other."

"I mean, they'd make a lovely couple," Emmeline said.

They reached Lily's floor and she bid Emmeline farewell as the other girl headed for the dungeons. Lily slipped inside the Transfiguration classroom, settling into her spot between Marlene and Severus.

Marlene was doing everything possible not to look in Sirius' direction, which was a bit difficult seeing as he and Remus were seated in the row directly in front of them.

Lily herself had been struggling with staring at the back of Remus' head recently, an activity she once rather enjoyed.

The Marauders were unusually silent themselves, James working on a drawing and the others simply toying with their books and notes, careful to keep their gaze straight ahead.

It was so quiet and _so_ awkward.

Lily glanced Severus' way and offered him a friendly smile. He was intently taking notes already and didn't notice. Lily sighed, setting up her quill and parchment.

She never thought she would miss Marlene's banter with Sirius. The current quiet was tense and abnormal. She wanted to talk with Severus, break the silence, but dared not interrupt his mad note taking.

The bell rang and McGonagall began her lecture.

They had been quizzed on their last transfiguration the previous class and were due to start learning a new one today. This would be the last one before midterms.

Today would be mostly note-taking and a demonstration from McGonagall (and some smug answers from James Potter who would already consider himself an expert). They would likely get a writing assignment and properly practice the spell themselves next class.

As Lily took notes, her mind wandered to Emmeline, wondering what she could be so upset over. Maybe the handful of teasing comments she had gotten since singing for the Gryffindors had gotten less passive and more aggressive. Lily passed a brief glance toward Severus, hoping that if that was the case, Emmeline would at least let her help.

If it was something else, something complicated and odd like Marlene and Sirius' situation, Lily wasn't so sure. She hated that Marlene was so down about it but had no idea how to even approach it.

Lily didn't like Sirius much and had a hard time wrapping her mind around missing his friendship and presence. She supposed she understood the notion of sleeping with him, as he _was_ good-looking, but Lily had no idea how to help Marlene or make her feel better.

It frustrated her greatly, seeing people she cared about upset and not being able to help them. All she could do was listen to Marlene say repeatedly that she was a horrid person and assure her that she was not.

Lily just wanted to _do_ something. Her mother always said that if you could help someone, you should. True, it didn't always work out, but Lily could hardly stomach not trying to make something better if she was fully able to do so.

Ever since she had borrowed those comics from Remus (which she still needed to return), she kept thinking of a single quote, "With great power comes great responsibility."

She hadn't expected to connect with Peter Parker when she started reading his story. His guilt over inaction, though, and his insistence that it was his duty to use his talents to protect others, hit very close to home.

She remembered with a soft sigh that she was only five galleons away from a sneakoscope for her parents. It was a start, at least.

Her eyes fell on the Marauders again. Remus, who looked horribly pale and exhausted, but didn't need to add worry over his mother to his plate since his father was a wizard and knew how to protect her. Awkward Peter, whose muggle father was not in his life and whose witch mother could care for herself. Handsome Sirius, whose biggest problem in the world right now was the fact that a girl had turned him down. His family had enough money and status to make any problem go away.

And then there was James, who was much the same. She frowned slightly, wondering if James Potter ever had a problem in his life. She wondered if he ever had to save money for something, or if he ever for one moment worried about the well-being of his family. He had no reason to. He was rich, he was pureblood, and he was naturally talented.

Jealousy settled in the pit of Lily's stomach and she tried to ignore it. Resenting their good fortune would not make her family any safer. It wouldn't make her friends any happier. It wouldn't make Remus like her any more.

It would just bring her more problems.

So Lily tried not to think of James' comments from the other night about how rarely he studied or how his parents often went on holiday to Greece and France where they had vacation homes. She tried to listen to McGonagall instead, tried to leave thoughts of who she was and what she was and what she was or wasn't doing to assist everyone behind for now. She scribbled down notes about wand movement.

Soon enough, McGonagall wrapped up her lecture and reminded the class of the reading and writing assignment before tapping a stack of parchment on her desk. Their quizzes from the previous class fluttered down in front of each student, face down.

"Do study the questions you missed, they will be on the midterm in some form," McGonagall said as the bell rang. Lily flipped her quiz over to see her score. An E, exceeds expectations.

"Hmph," Marlene said, showing Lily her mere _Acceptable_.

"How'd you do, Prongs?" Sirius asked James from up ahead of them.

"How do you think?" James grinned, holding up his quiz triumphantly. O, outstanding.

"Aw, we match," Sirius said, holding up his own O quiz next to James' for comparison.

Severus scoffed, still packing his bag. Lily spied his E score before he shoved it into his text book.

"Problem, Snivellus?" James said, sliding his things into his own bag. Lily sighed.

Why did James Potter have to let everyone _know_ that he got top marks without even trying? Why did he and Severus need to get into confrontations about it so much?

They were _both_ beginning to annoy her.

"Ever heard the expression, 'the pride comes before the fall?'" Severus said dryly.

Without missing a beat, Sirius responded, "Ever heard the expression, 'lather, rinse, repeat?'"

Snickers could be heard throughout the students still in class.

"Actually, the quote is 'Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall,'" Remus said, losing his balance slightly as he slung his book bag over his shoulder. He looked slightly nauseous. Peter reached over to steady him. "Er, not that it changes the meaning that much."

"When did you read the Bible?" Peter said, cocking a brow.

"Boys," McGonagall said, having spied Remus losing his balance. "Take Mr. Lupin to the hospital wing."

"I'm _fine,_ Professor—" Remus started.

" _Take him to the hospital wing, please,"_ McGonagall said sternly.

"Yes, Professor, on our way out," Peter nodded.

James wasn't listening, he'd walked over to talk to Severus directly.

"Anyway, if you can't handle me being better than you at something, you might want to just drop this class next year," James shrugged. Lily rolled her eyes; there was that haughty spirit. "Hopefully no one else feels that way, though, or I'll be the only one left on the roster."

Lily couldn't help herself. "You really think _no one_ in this class can compare to you?"

"What can I say?" James said, smirking that irritating smirk of his. "I can do these spells in my sleep. Don't beat yourself up too much about it, Evans, you're in the majority."

"Don't beat myself up over…? What? _Trying?"_ Lily said, annoyance growing stronger every second.

It was one thing for everything to come easily to James Potter, it was another for him to brag about his sheer luck and privilege to be born in to a rich, pureblood family.

"The concept of working for something is lost on him, Lily," Severus said.

"No, just the concept of being bested in this class," James said.

"So, you're saying, no matter how hard anyone tries, _no one_ will ever beat you in this class," Lily said, entirely irritated to even be having this conversation, to even be playing into his hand and speaking with him. She had better things to do, she needed to go meet Emmeline, and yet James Potter's head continued to block out the sun.

"Well, Sirius has tied with me a few times, at least," James said casually. "But no, no one's _better."_

"Do you—do you _try_ to be condescending and conceited or does that _also_ come naturally to you?" Lily asked.

"Why so angry, Evans? It's not bragging if you back it up," James smiled.

"So, if someone else got a higher score than you on the next quiz, you'd have to admit you're insufferable and not the best," Lily said.

"No one's gonna do that," Peter said, having resigned himself to being a crutch of sorts to Remus, who was leaning heavily against him. James and Sirius seemed quite amused at the notion of someone beating James.

"I will," Lily said at once without a second thought. Severus and Marlene eyed her in surprise. "I bet you I get a better score."

" _Really?"_ James laughed. "C'mon, Evans, you're not stupid."

"That's exactly my point," she said.

That smirk she hated so was still fixed on his face as he leaned in closer to her. "You want a bet? You've got a bet."

"Great," Lily said.

James held out his hand to her. "Fifteen galleons says I beat your score on the next quiz."

" _Fifteen galleons?!"_ Marlene repeated. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were even eying James in shock.

"What can I say? _I'm_ confident," James said. That smirk taunted her so. That mischievous glint in his hazel eyes. Oh, how she wanted to best him, to knock him down a few pegs, to wipe that stupid smirk from his _stupid mouth._

"Fifteen galleons," she said, shaking his hand but briefly.

"How I wish I didn't have to rob you, Love," James said, taking one of Remus' arms and slinging it over his shoulder before heading to the door of the classroom, the other Marauders at their heels.

"What happened to ignoring them?" Severus said once they were out of earshot.

" _I_ didn't hex them," Lily huffed. "I'm just going to destroy that smug son of a bitch with my mind _and_ take his money."

"You know he's gotten straight O's in this class since first year, right?" Marlene said. "What about your sneakoscope?"

"You're still saving for that rubbish? I told you, Death Eaters don't care about your parents," Severus said.

"Well, _you_ would know," Marlene mumbled. Severus glared and opened his mouth to reply but Lily cut him off.

"I can beat him," Lily said. "I just have to study. And then I'll have more than enough for the sneakoscope."

"I mean, maybe if this was charms or potions," Marlene said. "You might as well have challenged him to a one-on-one Quidditch match."

"I'm not terrible at Quidditch," Lily said defensively. "And I always get good marks in this class."

"Lily, you're so smart. But I mean… I'd _never_ challenge you at charms and I'd never challenge James at transfiguration," Marlene sighed.

"The greater the risk, the greater the reward," Severus shrugged before walking off to meet his housemates.

"You really don't think I can beat him?" Lily said to Marlene.

The blonde frowned. "Well. Um. You know what? I'll help you study. Yeah, we'll make flash cards, I'll quiz you, we'll go full Ravenclaw on this bitch."

Marlene was now nodding enthusiastically and smiling nervously.

"Thanks," Lily said.

* * *

The Marauders had hardly gotten out of earshot from the rest of the class when Sirius said, "What the _fuck_ was that, Prongs?"

"Just a friendly wager with dear Evans," James shrugged as best he could with Remus' arm over his shoulder.

"Fifteen galleons is _not_ a friendly wager," Remus said.

"I thought you wanted Evans to _like_ you," Peter said.

"And what better way to show her how smart I am? Girls like Evans love a great mind," James said.

" _Everyone knows_ you're smart, you dolt," Sirius said. "Girls don't like to be made to feel _stupid_."

"Not stupid, never stupid, just… not as smart as me," James explained as they headed up the stairs toward the hospital wing. Remus was clinging to the railing with his free hand as they went.

"So your plan, then, is to make sure she knows that no matter how smart she may be, she cannot compare to you," Remus said.

"Well… yes, I suppose," James frowned.

" _And_ make her pay for the privilege," Peter added.

"Well, it seems _fool-proof,"_ Remus said sarcastically.

"Absolutely," Peter said. "Great strategy."

"How are you _not_ getting shagged constantly?" Sirius said.

James stopped walking and turned to fully face Sirius and Peter, Remus still leaning on him for support. "So, you really think this is a bad idea?"

" _Yes,"_ Sirius, Remus, and Peter said at once.

"Not to mention, Mr. 'My Father Invented Sleekeazy, So I Have A Big, Fat, Shiny Trust Fund,'" Remus said as they started off walking again. "Lily can't afford it, she's been saving up all semester for a sneakoscope for her parents."

"Why do her parents need a sneakoscope? They're muggles, aren't they?" Peter said.

"Yes, and who are Death Eaters targeting? She's worried," Remus said.

James frowned, his brow furrowed. "How do you know all that, Moony?"

"Because _I_ talk to girls like they're people," Remus said.

"So do I!" James said, appalled.

" _Well,"_ Sirius said.

"No, you talk to girls like they're does and you're trying to impress them with the size of your antlers," Remus said, not bothering to beat around the bush with mere hours until the full moon.

"Basically," Sirius snickered. "Your animagus makes so much more sense now."

"So what do I do, call it off?" James said.

"That'll just piss her off more, you already insulted her intelligence," Sirius said.

Peter nodded. "It'll look like you're doing her a favor."

James huffed. "Then what do I do?"

"No idea," Remus said.

* * *

When Lily got to the trophy room, she found Emmeline already there, sitting on the floor and scribbling into a small notepad on her lap. Lily set down her book bag and sat down next to her.

"Writing another song?" Lily asked, noting the amount of lines that had been crossed out on the page. Emmeline shrugged, flipping the notepad closed.

"Kind of," she said.

"Ever gonna let us hear any?" Lily said. Emmeline had been scrawling out poems and songs for as long as Lily knew her. The most she would divulge to her friends, however, was the music she composed for the guitar, never the words that went along with it.

"Maybe. Not this one, though, it's… personal and embarrassing," Emmeline frowned, fiddling with the notepad.

"Is it about what's been bugging you?" Lily pried, watching Emmeline carefully. The brunette kept her eyes fixed to her notepad, her frown still prominent.

"Kind of… I guess…" Emmeline said hesitantly. She finally met Lily's eyes and said, "Please, if I tell you, you can't say anything to Marlene. I know you two tell each other basically everything but… _please."_

Lily cocked a brow. This was about Marlene? Had Marlene done anything recently to upset Emmeline? Lily quickly racked her brain, thinking through their past encounters.

Emmeline had been somewhat short with Marlene, and Marlene had called Emmeline a downer, but that wasn't anything new or uncommon for the two. Sometimes Emmeline got a bit too blunt and realistic, and Marlene wasn't shy about telling her to lighten up. Had Emmeline grown tired of it?

"I won't tell her," Lily said finally, though it felt strange to promise to keep something from Marlene. "What happened?"

Emmeline's eyes had drifted back to her notepad. She took a deep breath before saying, "She had sex with Sirius."

Lily's brow furrowed. This was about Marlene having sex? Lily supposed that made sense, she knew it bothered Emmeline a great deal that boys didn't seem to notice her (and comments about her drunken performance didn't exactly count), perhaps she felt like she was being left behind while Marlene moved forward.

"Don't feel bad about that, Em," Lily said. "She beat _all_ of us to it, and honestly, I think we all knew she would. We've got plenty of time."

"It's not that, I mean… it's not _just_ that," Emmeline said. "It's that she… you know."

"What?" Lily said.

"Had sex with _Sirius,"_ Emmeline said softly.

Lily watched Emmeline for a moment, puzzled. Then it clicked. Lily's eyes widened. "You fancy Sirius Black!?"

"Shh!" Emmeline hissed.

"Oh _Merlin!_ This is why you hardly talk around him! I thought you _didn't_ like him," Lily said softly, thinking back to the muttering and stuttering Emmeline would choke out around the boy. "Why _do_ you fancy that git?"

Emmeline sighed. "See, this is why I never said anything."

Lily winced. Fair enough. "Sorry. Why do you fancy him?"

Emmeline fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "He's so handsome, in that glam, punk rocker sort of way."

"You _do_ like boys in eyeshadow," Lily nodded.

"And his hair, _Merlin_ , his hair! And he's smart, but he's so… casual about it? Half the boys in my house have to go out of their way to use big words and make sure to remind everyone that they're smart, but, I don't know, Sirius doesn't have to prove anything. He just… he just _is._ He's so comfortable with who he is," Emmeline said, looking off as though she were lost in thoughts of the boy. "And I know you don't agree, but... I _do_ think he's clever. And funny."

"Yeah well," Lily shrugged. "A lot of people think he's funny."

"Yeah, and a lot of people think he's handsome. And it's not like any part of me really, truly believed I had a chance with him. He was… he's like a rock star. Unobtainable, handsome, a safe fantasy," Emmeline said.

"Don't put him up on a pedestal like that, Em, he's not some untouchable god or something. He's just a person. A handsome person? Sure. A confident person? Absolutely. But don't build him up to be something more than that. You could date him, he'd be _lucky_ to date someone like you," Lily said, sliding her arm around Emmeline's shoulders.

Emmeline shook her head. "I liked daydreaming about him because there wasn't any risk involved. Then Marlene would kiss him and say it was no big deal and I'd feel so… I don't know, frustrated? Because in my head I can talk to him but in practice my mouth doesn't work. Meanwhile, she got to snog him and it didn't even mean anything to her."

"And then she slept with him," Lily frowned. That had to sting. Emmeline nodded, eyes watering.

"He likes her. She's special to him and she just—she just couldn't care less and slept with him like it was no big deal and I guess for her it wasn't but I just—it's not—" Emmeline stuttered, wiping at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Em, that's rough," Lily said.

"That would be bad enough, but at least before I could pretend, you know? I could pretend there was a chance of Sirius liking me, but if he likes Marlene? If that's his type? I'm _not_ Marlene. She's confident and tall and blonde and tan. She plays Quidditch, she's not afraid to talk to anyone. She's beautiful and everyone knows. Who wouldn't want her? I can't compete with that," Emmeline dug through her pockets for a tissue to wipe her nose.

"Don't compare or compete with Marlene," Lily said. "People like different things. You think David Bowie is attractive but he doesn't do anything for me or Dorcas or Marlene. Marlene might be pretty but that doesn't mean that you aren't. Besides, I'm sure she's not exactly Black's favorite person right now."

"It just—it isn't fair! And I know that sounds stupid and childish, but she can have any boy she wants and she goes off and has sex with the one _I_ like when she has no romantic feelings for him. And I feel like I can't even get mad about it because it's not like I ever said anything to you guys about it."

"No, I get why you're upset," Lily said, tightening her grip on her friend and setting her head on her shoulder. "You and Marlene can _both_ do better than Sirius Black, for what it's worth."

"I feel so stupid sitting here crying over him. He hardly knows that I exist and I think about him _so much,"_ Emmeline said, leaning into Lily as she wiped at her eyes again.

"Aw, he was pretty impressed with you at the party," Lily said, hoping it would help.

"Great," Emmeline groaned. "He notices and is impressed when I'm drunk and not acting myself."

"He noticed and was impressed because you're funny and talented, Em. You just showed it a bit more when you had a few shots," Lily smiled. "You keep working on your solo and get comfortable performing _sober_. Sirius Black will be kicking himself for not noticing how great you are sooner."

Emmeline snorted.

"Really!" Lily insisted. "Don't build Black up to be some kind of rock star. _You're_ the one that can sing. You're the one that can play guitar. _You_ be the rock star and let the boys do the pining."

"But Lily! Don't you remember? 'Girls don't play rock and roll,'" Emmeline said, mocking Eric Schnell with a scoff.

"Girls have hands and vocal cords, so fuck yes, they do," Lily grinned. "Besides. You're a Killer Queen."

Emmeline finally smiled, eyes still red and puffy. "You know, I don't know how you guys put up with giving me a pep talk every other day."

"Because you're worth the pep talks and one day you'll realize that," Lily smiled. "Besides, you threatened to beat up Remus for me, this is what we do."

"You know what? Fuck the 'Marauders.' They're nothing but trouble," Emmeline sighed. Lily groaned.

"I might have bet Potter that I could beat his score on our next transfiguration quiz," the redhead said.

Emmeline leaned away from Lily at last to cast her a questioning look. "Why didn't you just challenge him to a one-on-one Quidditch match?"

"That's what Marlene said," Lily sighed.

"I guess we're spending the next few days studying for transfiguration, then," Emmeline said.

"See, this is what I mean. You threaten to beat up a boy for me, I give you a pep talk, you help me with the ill-advised bet I made," Lily nodded.

"So, what you're saying," Emmeline said. "Is that we're the only ones willing to put up with each other."

"Pretty much."


	21. Late Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend, all! Hope you enjoy the werewolf shenanigans this time around, let me know what you think.

_"You two are really terrible prefects."_

_"So, you're not helping?"_

* * *

It was snowing and Moony couldn't be more thrilled. The werewolf darted across the fresh powder, howling for joy before rolling through it. The others rushed after him, leaving prints in the snow as they went.

The cold seemed to invigorate the already energetic creature. He hadn't slowed down since they left the shrieking shack, his hot breath clouding before him as he scurried around the grounds.

"Moony!" Padfoot barked, his dark fur speckled with snowflakes. "We're gonna check out he forest, come on!"

"But the snow!" Moony whined, rolling through it again. "Snow is great! Let's play in the snow!"

"The forest was Remus' idea," bleated Prongs.

"Remus isn't _here,"_ Moony bayed. He was trying to catch snowflakes in his mouth now, biting at the air.

"There's small animals to chase," Peter squeaked. Moony seemed to consider this briefly before nodding.

"Okay, forest. Then more snow!"

They bounded off to the edge of the trees, Wormtail holding tight to Prong's antlers as they went. Moony was the first one to slip into the trees, not the least bit apprehensive. The others followed, curious about the region that had been deemed off-limits to the students. Snow didn't reach the ground much here, the trees catching most of it.

They ducked under low branches as they went, so far nothing out of the ordinary. At least, not until the others jumped in surprise as Prongs bleated in frustration. His antlers had gotten caught in some branches and no matter how much he tugged, he could not seem to get them free.

As Wormtail worked to release him from the tree, Padfoot and Moony looked about as amused as canines could be.

"There you go," Wormtail squeaked as he released the last branch from Prongs' antlers.

"You're my one true friend, Wormtail," Prongs bleated, looking pointedly at the unhelpful dog and werewolf. They howled and barked in amusement.

"Wormtail outranks us!"

"The shame!"

"We must eliminate the competition!"

"Prongs shall be ours!"

"Come down here and face us like a rat, Wormtail!"

Wormtail shook his head, getting more comfortable atop Prongs' head. "Nah."

"Worm is scared," Padfoot taunted.

"I am not, I have Prongs," Wormtail squeaked proudly.

"But he can't fight for you when we're fighting over him!" Moony objected.

"Conflict of interest!" Padfoot barked. Everyone's ears perked, however, and the "argument" was forgotten at the sound of footsteps.

The group took a few quiet steps toward the sound, finding a clearing. Standing in this clearing was a unicorn, tall, grand, and poised, listening intently, likely for them.

Before anyone could attempt to stop him, Moony let out a howl and leaped forward. Startled, the unicorn took off through the trees at a gallop, Moony quickly following.

"Shit," Prongs bellowed.

"Moony!" Peter squeaked as they began to chase after their friend.

"Moony, hunting a unicorn is at the very _least_ bad karma!" Padfoot barked. They slipped around the trees, ducked beneath branches and ran after the sound of Moony's howls. They weren't sure which way they were going or how far they had gone when the dog and stag slowed to a stop, straining to hear anything.

Padfoot howled and the others listened carefully. Moony's faint howl could be heard in return.

"He's that way," Prongs and Padfoot each stated, pointing in completely separate directions.

"Er, maybe he _is_ that way?"

"No, maybe you were right…"

"I thought it came from that way," Wormtail squeaked, pointing in yet another direction.

"Well, we suck at this," Prongs bleated. "Sniff him out, hound dog."

"I am not a hound, I'm a shepherd if anything!" Padfoot bayed, insulted.

"Well, then part of your flock wandered off, go find him, Shepherd!"

Padfoot exhaled sharply before beginning to sniff at the ground around them. Prongs followed with Wormtail as Padfoot started off in a direction none of them had pointed out earlier.

Padfoot howled again and once more Moony returned the call. The dog picked up the pace, seeming to have caught a trail, and gaining confidence once Moony's next howl _seemed_ to be coming from the direction they were headed.

None of them would admit to any worry over their friend being in parts unknown in this forest, but it was certainly there. What if they didn't find him before sunrise?

Moony could handle himself in the forest with all the other creatures. But could Remus?

Another howl and they took off on a run, sure they knew where he was now. Padfoot and Moony nearly collided, skidding to a halt as the other came into view.

"There you are!" Moony barked, tail wagging. "I lost the unicorn, too fast."

"Don't run away from us again!" Prongs bellowed. If stags could give away worry in their tone, Prongs certainly had. "We need to look after each other."

Moony tilted his head, tail falling between his legs. "Oh. I'm sorry. I was just playing."

"Yeah, well, we're safer together," Prongs bleated, gently nudging the werewolf in a friendly manner.

"Hey, uh, do any of you know the way out?" Padfoot whined. The four glanced around. All the trees looked the same.

"Well," Wormtail squeaked. "It's gonna be a long night, isn't it?"

* * *

After each taking turns to explain to Lily, yet again, just how stupid the bet she made was, Dorcas, Emmeline, and Marlene had agreed to all help Lily study during the lunch hour. They had eaten hastily on their way to the library, knowing Madam Pince took a sick sort of pleasure in banning students from the library so close to midterms. They would not tempt her by bringing in food.

"Okay, Ravenclaw, what's our strategy?" Marlene whispered as they entered, plopping the last bit of her sandwich in her mouth.

"Huh?" Emmeline said. "Oh, I don't know… I usually just review my notes the night before."

"You don't have an elaborate study system in place?" Dorcas teased.

"You lot have literally seen me working on essays the morning they're due at breakfast because I kept putting it off," Emmeline said. "I really have no system."

"You are a disgrace to Rowena Ravenclaw," Marlene tsked.

"How dare you not live up to the house stereotypes!" Lily added.

"Fine! Fine. Lily, you must copy down the text book chapter, word for word, seven times in English and then translate it into Latin," Emmeline said. "Ravenclaw enough?"

"Who knows Latin outside the spells?" Lily said.

"We have a Latin word of the day calendar on the common room notice board," Emmeline said.

"There you go, there's the stereotype," Dorcas smiled

"Let's make up flash cards and work from there," Marlene said.

"We should really do that for midterms anyway," Lily nodded.

"And we can save them to study for OWLs," Emmeline said. They walked past one of the tables provided for student use, occupied.

"Flash cards, then!" Dorcas said. Lily stopped and doubled back to the table they had just passed, the other girls following in confusion.

However, once they saw who was seated there, they understood. James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew were all fast asleep in their potions text books, James' quill still in his hand.

"Wow, this is due next class," Marlene said, glancing at the top of Peter's half-finished essay he was drooling on.

"Should we wake them?" Dorcas whispered.

"And pass up this glorious opportunity?" Lily said, shaking her head. "The self-proclaimed prank kings are asleep in public, we may never get a chance to mess with them like this again. You know they'd do the same thing."

"I dunno, I'm already on thin ice with them," Marlene frowned.

"They don't have to know you were involved," Lily shrugged, pulling out her wand.

"They don't have to know _any_ of us were involved," Emmeline said, taking her wand out as well.

"You two are _really_ terrible prefects," Dorcas said, gesturing to Lily and Emmeline. "They're not hurting anyone, they just fell asleep."

"So, you're not helping?" Lily asked, mumbling a spell to vanish James' eyebrows.

"Oh, I never said that, this _is_ a grand opportunity," Dorcas said, she and Marlene drawing their wands as well. "But if anyone asks, I tried to stop you."

* * *

It had taken all night to find their way out of the forest, hardly reaching the edge of the trees before Moony transformed back into Remus. Propping him upright, the others barely got him back into the passageway before Madam Promfrey left the castle to fetch him. As a result, James, Sirius, and Peter had gotten exactly no sleep that night, sneaking back into the dorm long enough to pull their robes on and head back out again. It was truly no surprise they had each fallen asleep while attempting to finish their potions essays.

James only woke up when an enchanted paper airplane crash-landed into his forehead. He groaned slightly, cracking open his eyes before glancing at his watch.

"Shit, guys, wake up! Class started twenty minutes ago," James said, suddenly alert. When he sat upright, he turned to see his friends and frowned at the sight. Peter had a thick mustache drawn on his face and his hair was styled into a bright yellow mohawk.

Sirius' hair was coated in glitter and sticking out in all directions. A pair of glasses and a unibrow were scribbled on his face.

"Mate, your face," James said, lifting his hand to point at the ink smudges and finding that his quill and parchment were stuck to his hand. Brow furrowed, he attempted to peel the parchment away, only to find it now sticking to his opposite hand.

Sirius was mumbling under his breath, attempting to free his palm from his text book.

"Your eyebrows are gone, James," Peter said, his essay stuck along the length of his forearm. "And someone drew pretty eyelashes and a beauty mark on you."

"You've still got eyebrows but they drew a mustache on you and gave you a yellow mohawk," Sirius said to Peter, while still trying to pry the book cover off his hand.

"Your hair is covered in glitter and you've got glasses and a unibrow," James frowned. "What's the big idea, who did this?"

"Your hair's the same, they must have figured it was already a joke," Sirius said, finally freeing his hand, only to make the mistake of touching his glitter-coated hair. His hand was now stuck to the strands. He swore.

"Who did this?!" Peter groaned, echoing James as he nearly tore his essay while attempting to pull it away from his arm.

James glanced around, seeing no one in the immediate area. "I have no idea."

Honestly, there were plenty of people in this school with motive.

"We can't all fall asleep like that, it's just _asking_ for this to happen," Sirius said, trying to free his hand from his hair and shedding glitter with every motion.

"But I'm so _tired,"_ Peter whined, setting his head back on the desk.

James reached for his wand, his quill still stuck to his hand, and found that it wasn't in his pocket. "What the hell," he said. He stood up to look for it and fell over as soon as he took a step.

"Jelly leg jinx?" Sirius asked, leaning over to see if James was okay.

"No," James said, lifting his feet to show the laces tied together. From this angle, he could see the underside of the table where three wands were secured by unknown means. "Found our wands!"

He grabbed Sirius' wand and tried to pass it off to the boy's free hand, only to find that they were both unable to let go of it.

"This spell is so annoying, we have to start using it," Sirius mumbled, he and James both still tugging on the wand, hoping _one_ of them would be able to let go.

"Yes, it's really a quite effective prank," James said, vaguely impressed. "I wish we knew who did it so that we could prank them back."

"Let me try a spell my mum used to try and undo my permanent sticking charms," Sirius said.

"As long as I'll still have a hand," James said, still firmly grasping the tip of Sirius' wand whether he wanted to be or not.

"I think you'll be fine," Sirius said.

"You _think?!"_

" _Viscosi transuerso!"_

There was a brief burning sensation and James tore his hand away. His hand was thankfully in one piece and he apprehensively touched the paper airplane on the floor to see if it would stick. It did not. He sighed in relief before handing Peter his wand and grabbing his own.

As James returned to his seat, he felt something was off about his wand. Why did the handle still feel sticky? James turned his wand over to see that they had been held to the underside of the table with chewing gum. He made a face.

"Awfully muggle of them," Sirius said, peeling the chewing gum off his own wand now that he had counter-cursed both his hands.

"They were thinking outside the box for sure, the wankers," James said, starting to counter-curse his other hand. "Perhaps we've been limiting ourselves by only using hexes and jinxes."

"So, this hair," Peter said, turning his head slightly. "How does it look, really? Maybe I keep it?"

Sirius and James exchanged glances.

" _No,"_ James said. Sirius pointed his wand to Peter's head and restored his hair to it's normal color and length. Peter sighed.

Sirius began running his wand through his own hair, freeing it of glitter, but littering the floor and table with it.

Overall, it took them a good ten minutes to fix Sirius' hair, vanish most of (but not all of) the glitter, and magic off the ink on their faces.

"Anyone know how to fix my eyebrows?" James said, running his fingers over his hair-free brow bone.

"The hair growth spell I know says specifically _not_ to use it on eyebrows or they'll get so long you won't be able to see," Sirius frowned.

"Eyebrows grow really fast, though," Peter said helpfully.

"We'll figure it out later," James said, standing upright. "We're late and we need to take notes for Moony."

"Class is already over," Sirius said, checking his watch.

"What!?" James said, checking his again. "No, it started half an hour ago!"

"Wait, this can't be right, my watch says it's ten minutes to dinner but he sun is still out," Sirius said, eyes darting from his watch to the window.

"Mine says it's nine forty-five, maybe we slept through the night?" Peter said.

"No, whoever pranked us messed with our watches," James scowled.

"So simple and so annoying," Sirius said. "We'll have to synchronize all over again when we visit Moony."

"Come on, let's find out what time it _actually_ is," James said. They gathered their things and started off.

Unfortunately, James had forgotten to fix his shoe laces while they were undoing all the other pranks. Sirius and Peter hadn't noticed the same happening to their shoes and all three fell with a loud thud to the floor, parchment and ink strewn about.

Various swears escaped their lips and harsh shushing was heard from nearby as they hastily attempted to untangle their laces

Scrambling back to their feet, the boys were off again, stopping when they found Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas at one of the tables. Marlene and Sirius made a point to avoid each other's eye as they approached.

"Do any of you have the time?" James asked. Lily turned her wristwatch, which had slipped and turned around her wrist again, so that she could actually see the face.

"Half-past noon," she said.

"Lunch isn't even _over_ yet," Peter mumbled as the three of them adjusted their watches.

"What time did you think it was?" Dorcas asked, cocking a brow.

"Someone messed with our watches," Sirius sighed.

"Oh, that's unfortunate," Dorcas said. "How did they do that without you noticing?"

"We fell asleep," James sighed. "So, we don't even know _who_ did it."

"You _all_ fell asleep?" Emmeline said, underlining a portion of her notes.

"Prongs couldn't sleep and kept us all up complaining about it," Sirius lied. James cast him an unamused glance.

"Why are you 'Prongs'?" Marlene said, eyes still at her book to avoid Sirius' gaze.

"Inside joke," James said.

"Don't worry about it," Peter added. "You don't think Snivellus did it, do you?"

"No, gum and tying shoe laces isn't his style," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, there were none of those curses he's so proud of," James snorted.

"Were have your eyebrows gone? You look permanently surprised," Emmeline said, glancing up from her notes at last.

"I don't know, someone vanished them!" James said.

"Well, the good news is that eyebrows grow fast," Dorcas said.

"Do you need anything else, Potter? We're sort of busy," Lily said, gesturing to their books and in-progress flash cards.

"Studying for the next transfiguration quiz, are you?" James said, looking as smug as he could without eyebrows.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Go _away,_ Potter."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James grinned.

"James," Emmeline whispered, gesturing for him to lean down closer to her so he could hear, as though she was revealing some grand secret. "Girls do not want to be bribed or blackmailed into a date."

"I see it more as a _deal,"_ James said. The four girls simultaneously rolled their eyes. "I'll even let her out of the bet!"

"Potter, listen," Lily said. "You're going to leave so that we can study in peace _and_ you're going to lose that bet. All without me dating you."

She gestured for the boys to shoo and James shrugged as though he were only minorly inconvenienced. Sirius tugged James along by his collar as he and Peter walked off.

"You're an idiot," Sirius could be heard saying.

"It was worth a shot, and I tried to let her out of the bet!" James replied.

The rest of their conversation could not be heard from the girls' table as they softly snickered amongst themselves.

"You know it's only fifteen minutes past twelve, right?" Marlene said, referring to the time Lily had given the boys.

"There's worse I could do than send them to Slughorn's class early," Lily smiled. "Like actually dating James Potter."

"I'd wait for a better bribe," Dorcas nodded.

"Yeah, he's loaded, wait until he offers a broom or something," Marlene agreed.

"He could offer me his entire bank account and I still wouldn't want to date him," Lily said. "I _do_ want to take his money by winning this bet, though."

"Right, so, let's go over the wand movement," Emmeline said, flipping through her notes.

* * *

"Finished our essays, got to class on time, we can _definitely_ handle ourselves without Moony," Sirius said triumphantly as they reached the door to the potions chamber.

"Moony reminded us to finish the essays _before_ the full moon and we ignored him," Peter said.

"Not the point!" Sirius said as they stepped inside to find the classroom empty.

"It _is_ Wednesday, right?" James said, looking around at the vacant seats, puzzled.

"Yes," Sirius said.

"It's just barely one o'clock, though," Peter said, gesturing to the classroom clock.

"That explains why the bell never rang," Sirius said. As soon as those words left his mouth, the fifteen minute warning bell sounded.

"Evans gave us the wrong time!" James scowled.

"You don't think the four of them pranked us in the first place do you?" Peter said, pointing off in the library's general direction.

"Evans probably just wanted to make sure we weren't late," Sirius said mockingly. "Bloody prefects."

"Well, since we're _here._ Want to put a permanent sticking charm on Snivellus' chair before he shows up?" James said, approaching the seat in question.

"Absolutely."

* * *

Saturday had come far more quickly than Lily had wanted, which was only a problem because she still had more studying for Transfiguration to do but would have to tend to other things on this fine day. She had spent the morning helping Slughorn organize his cupboard of potions ingredients. His cupboard was small in size and she hadn't expected the task to take as long as it had, forgetting about the possibility of him having magically expanded the inside (which, he had).

After dusting every jar, bottle, and vial, and organizing them by name, Slughorn had handed Lily two gold coins and reminded her of his upcoming Christmas party.

Lily had honestly forgotten about the party. Her mind had been occupied by the sneakoscope, her friends, the bet with James, and the whole thing with Remus.

Remus.

Slughorn had reminded her that she could bring a date and she found herself wishing, yet again, that things had gone differently with the boy.

As she arrived at the library to tutor, she saw him there, checking in with Madam Pince about the student he was meant to tutor for arithmancy that had never shown up. He glanced over, his tired eyes meeting hers, and smiled apprehensively. She returned the favor before walking past him to wait at the table for the student she'd be tutoring in charms.

More than being disappointed that he had turned her down, Lily missed having him around as a friend and wondered if they would ever get back to that place. Perhaps they would be stuck in a purgatory of awkward smiles forever.

Her heart lightened when she saw Severus sitting at the table, waiting for a student to tutor as well. She smiled, this one not the least bit awkward or forced, and settled down beside him.

"Hey, Sev," she whispered. It had been ages since they properly spent time together outside of class.

"Hey," he replied, setting his book down.

"How're you?" Lily asked.

Severus shrugged. "Since getting a chair stuck to me? Okay, I guess."

"If it makes you feel better, Potter tried charming his eyebrows back yesterday and walked around with a huge unibrow for an hour," Lily said. Alice had finally gotten to take care of James' eyebrows that day, leaving them well-groomed when she was through but the skin surrounding them red, raw, and irritated.

James had insisted he'd rather take another Bludger to his person than rip his eyebrows out of his face again.

Severus simply shrugged again, not finding this as amusing as the girls had. "Let me know when someone permanently sticks him to a dragon."

"Right… so, um, any plans for Christmas?" Lily asked, deciding the best thing to do was steer the conversation away from James Potter.

"I'm going to sign up to stay here," Severus said.

"Oh," Lily said with a frown. She was hoping to see him over the holiday, away from class and his housemates. "Why's that?"

"Better than home," Severus said simply.

"That's a shame, we won't be able to do the Yule log or build our snowman army," Lily said. She looked forward to both with him each year.

"And I also won't be able to hear my father yell at my mother for dinner not being hot enough," Severus mumbled. Lily frowned.

"I'm sorry, Sev," she said. "I bet my parents would let you have the couch if I asked. I'd hate for you to spend Christmas alone—"

" _No thanks,"_ he said.

Lily urged herself to remember that he wasn't avoiding _her,_ he was avoiding _his parents._ Still, it disappointed her that he would rather be alone at the castle than entertain the idea of staying with her.

_This is not about me_ , she reminded herself again.

"Well, okay," she said. "We're only scheduled to tutor until one o'clock. How about we go outside after and build our snowman army today?"

"I'm, um, I'm meeting up with Avery and Mulciber after this, actually," Severus said, at least managing to sound apologetic. "We've got plans."

Lily sighed. "Those two? What sort of plans?"

Severus hesitated slightly. "Studying."

"Well, great! I could stand to study a bit more for midterms, I've been really focused on transfiguration and not much else," Lily said. Severus put up with Marlene, Emmeline and Dorcas and vice-versa, she could deal with Mulciber and Avery.

Granted, this was all ignoring the fact that at least Marlene, Emmeline and Dorcas did not have goals to be Death Eaters. Lily asked, "Can I come along?"

"We're not studying for midterms, it's a separate project," Severus said.

"What project?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Sev," Lily said, worry clear in her voice. "You're not doing anything illegal, are you?"

" _Don't worry about it."_

"Sev—"

Before Lily could continue, Madam Pince arrived with a Ravenclaw first year. His hair was in a well-groomed afro and his smile was kind.

"This is Miss Evans. She will help you with that charm," Madam Pince said. She handed Lily a key. "Study room C, Evans."

Lily nodded, casting Severus one last glance before gathering her things and walking off with the first year.

"You are _Lily_ Evans, right?" the boy said.

"Yes, I am," Lily nodded.

"Okay, good. It's just a common surname, is all, and Emmeline said to ask for you," he said.

Lily smiled. Emmeline had sent a lot of younger Ravenclaw students her way to help her with her sneakoscope money. "Well, that's nice of her. I think I'm the only 'Evans' that tutors. What's your name?"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt," he said, shaking her hand. His handshake was perhaps one of the firmest she had experienced.

"Nice to meet you," Lily said, recalling that this was Emmeline's favorite first year. She unlocked study room C and held open the door. "Now, what charm are you having trouble with?"


	22. Girls and Galleons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter, hope you like it! We've got the results of the bet and some more of the woes of being a teenager with a crush. Let me know what you think!

" _Haven't seen you around, are you out of school?"_

" _You could say that."_

* * *

Marlene had stayed up late, lazily holding flashcards to Lily, night after night. Dorcas and Emmeline quizzed her over meals. She had re-read the textbook chapters more times than she could count. Her mind was buzzing with facts and techniques when it came to the gemino curse.

The day of the quiz came and went, James finishing early and opting to draw on the back of his quiz while Lily was still shakily writing her answers.

McGonagall had chosen to throw them a bone before midterms and included two extra credit questions at the end of the quiz. The questions were difficult and related to previous spells taught in the class.

Lily doubted James would bother with extra credit. He was so convinced of his own greatness, what was the point of going for extra points?

So, when Sirius completed his quiz, he and James handed their papers over to McGonagall and left the classroom, while Lily had still been scribbling everything she could think to write for the extra points, knowing it could be the difference between being able to buy the sneakoscope or not.

Her heart was pounding the entirety of the next transfiguration class. Her friends were right, she was stupid to make this bet with James. He doodled all through class and knew every answer. She'd been running errands for professors for weeks, tutoring everyone she could, and was likely going to lose fifteen galleons of what she'd saved.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ Lily thought to herself, chewing on her bottom lip as McGonagall pointed her wand to the stack of graded quizzes on her desk. Lily had put a petty competition with James Potter before her family. _Stupid!_

She gulped as her quiz landed before her, face down. The bell rang and most students casually glanced at their grade before taking their things and leaving.

"Well?" Marlene said, looking nervous _for_ Lily.

"What did you get?" Lily asked, hoping to postpone this reveal another few moments.

Marlene flipped her quiz over to see. "Oh! I got an E! I guess some of those flash cards wore off on me."

"Amazing how studying works," Severus mumbled, sliding his own E grade into his bag.

"Yeah, you know what's also amazing? How soap works," Marlene said dryly. "Come on, Lily, what did you get?"

Heart pounding in her ears, Lily flipped over the quiz at last. McGonagall's scrawl marked an _O_ at the top.

"Yes!" Marlene said, offering Lily a high five, which the girl gladly took, feeling exceptionally relieved.

"I only got one of the extra credit questions," Lily said, glancing down at said question for McGonagall's notes. It seemed Lily had confuse the spell the question was about with another, similar sounding spell.

"But you got everything else!" Marlene said.

Lily managed to smile. She had received a grade of one hundred and five percent. The only way James could win the bet would be to have gotten all the answers along with both of the extra credit questions.

She could actually win this.

"Well, Evans?" James said, approaching the desk where Marlene and Lily sat. His quiz was folded in his hand and his friends were standing nearby. His arms were crossed before him and he looked as smug as ever.

"Beat that, Potter," Lily said, holding her quiz up for him to see. He seemed to take his time reading her score, before glancing down to the only question she got wrong, his smirk fading to a soft frown.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter's eyes were on James expectantly. James slightly unfolded his quiz to discreetly check his score again.

"Well?" Marlene said, impatient.

James sighed, ruffling his hair before reaching into his bag for his pouch of money. One by one, he dropped gold coins onto the desk before Lily until there were fifteen. Lily's eyes brightened, heart racing in _excitement_ now.

"Well, you bested me, Evans," James said with a frown.

"Yes!" Marlene said, pulling a grinning Lily into a celebration hug.

"Prongs—" Sirius started before James put up his hand to stop him.

"It was bound to happen at some point," James said.

"You can get your sneakoscope!" Marlene said to Lily. "You've got more than enough now."

"I know!" Lily said, practically breathless. She glanced back at James. "Say it again."

"Say what again?" James said, cocking a brow.

Lily smirked, resting her chin coyly in her hands. "Say I bested you."

"Really? My money's not enough?" James pouted. Lily nodded. James rolled his eyes. "You bested me, Evans."

"Again!" Lily said, enjoying the look of a defeated James Potter more than she thought she would. Finally, she had knocked the git down a peg.

It felt _good_.

"You bested me, Evans," James said dryly.

"Once more!" Marlene said, smiling brightly as she gathered her things together.

"You bested me, Evans," James sighed.

"How about once in French?" Lily suggested.

"I don't know French!" James said.

"Tu m'as vaincu, Evans," Sirius said casually. The others eyed him in confusion. "What? My parents paid for expensive tutors before I got sorted into Gryffindor and disgraced the family."

"You realize we could have been talking shit about these two in French this whole time," Remus said, gesturing to Peter and James.

"Never too late to start," Sirius shrugged.

"Are we done?" James asked as Lily scooped her winnings into her coin pouch and finally stood from her seat.

"Once more for the road!" Lily grinned.

James sighed, but bowed to her dramatically. "Lily Evans! You've bested me!"

"And I hope you never forget," Lily said, patting the boy on the head.

" _Branleur,"_ Sirius said, shaking his head at his best friend. James, however, was now grinning, ruffling his hair where Lily's hand had been moments before. Lily and Marlene bid them farewell, rushing out to tell Emmeline and Dorcas of Lily's victory.

James sighed as she went.

"What the hell was that, Prongs!?" Sirius said once the four of them were the only ones left in the classroom, save for McGonagall, wiping her chalkboard clean.

"What do you mean?" James said innocently.

"He means, you got a one-hundred and ten percent on that quiz, Mr. Potter. Miss Evans got one-hundred and five," McGonagall said, glancing their way with a knowing smile.

"Right! That!" Sirius said. "You just let her humiliate you when you _know_ she didn't best you."

"Evans bests me every day," James sighed. The other boys immediately made gagging noises. McGonagall simply shook her head, still smiling.

"If she finds out you _let_ her win…" Remus said.

"She'll get mad and think I did it to get her to like me. Which is why she won't find out. Right?" James said. The other boys mumbled agreements not to tell her. James glanced McGonagall's way.

"As gambling is _against school rules_ , I don't know about _any_ of this," she said simply.

"If you didn't do it to get her to like you, then what's the deal?" Peter said.

James shrugged. "She needs the money more than I do. My parents have already got a sneakoscope."

* * *

Emmeline and Dorcas were already on their way up the stairs when Marlene and Lily began descending them. They met halfway between the ground floor and the dungeons. Before Emmeline or Dorcas could utter a word, Lily exclaimed, "Guess who's fifteen galleons richer?"

"No way!" Dorcas said, eyes wide.

"How did James take it?" Emmeline asked.

"He seemed pretty disappointed," Lily couldn't help but grin.

"Yeah, but then Lily did this," Marlene said, patting Emmeline on the head. "And he was just _thrilled."_

The other girls snickered as Lily rolled her eyes. "Point is, I beat James Potter at his best subject and I'll always have that to dangle over his giant head when he's being annoying."

" _And_ you can get your sneakoscope!" Dorcas said as the girls ascended the stairs rather than continue standing halfway down.

"Yes!" Lily said. "And then some! Puddifoot's is on me this weekend after Em is done caroling and we pick up the sneakoscope."

"Oh, the caroling," Emmeline groaned. Every year, Flitwick took the choir out caroling around Hogsmeade as Christmas started drawing near. "Flitwick always sends letters home to our parents in case they want to go to Hogsmeade to see us perform, and I always tell mine not to bother because it's not like I've got a solo. But I'm listed as a soloist in the notice."

"So, they're gonna be there, then?" Dorcas asked. Emmeline nodded. "Well, that's nice!"

"I guess. I just don't want to mess up in front of them, my mum used to be a club singer, that's how she met Dad," Emmeline said, "Or, I don't know, I don't want them to embarrass me. I'm probably gonna embarrass myself enough."

"They're gonna embarrass you by being super proud of how well you sing," Marlene nodded. "How's your mum even getting here?"

"They're taking the floo network. She'll be fine in Hogsmeade, but Hogwarts will look condemned to her and if she tried to, say, waltz in to Hogsmeade from just outside, she'd start panicking about an appointment. Flooing directly in avoids all the charms at the border," Emmeline explained.

"So, muggles _can_ take the floo network," Lily said.

"My dad is always with her just to be safe, but yeah," Emmeline nodded. "She doesn't really like it much."

"Good to know, though," Lily said.

"I wish we could actually bring them to the grounds," Dorcas sighed. "My parents and brother would love to watch Quidditch, but Professor Sprout reckons they wouldn't hook up a muggle house to the floo network just for that."

"No, it's really frowned upon. My dad only gets away with it because honestly, he doesn't _advertise_ the rare times he carts Mum around the floo network. Plus she's his spouse," Emmeline said, her voice soft as some other students passed. "Don't be surprised if she's dressed as a witch, too."

"I'm so glad my parents are too busy to drop into Hogsmeade since there's _nothing_ stopping them," Marlene said. "Now _they_ would be embarrassing."

"Your parents are great!" Dorcas smiled.

"My parents think every baby picture and humiliating toddler story is appropriate to share with everyone," Marlene cringed.

"But we feel so much closer to you, having seen pictures of you taking a bath in the sink," Lily snickered. Marlene groaned.

"I will make sure your parents do not get into Mabel and Brian McKinnon territory," Marlene said, setting her hands on Emmeline's shoulders.

"I do appreciate that," Emmeline smiled.

"Whatever happens, I owe Marlene a hot chocolate and all of you helped me study and get this money, so we're stuffing our faces at some point," Lily said.

"Not gonna argue," Dorcas said.

* * *

The remainder of the school week had passed without incident, aside from the smug smirk Lily had whenever she passed James. Truth be told, he seemed to enjoy it, pleased that she was smiling around him if nothing else, simply returning her smirk most of the time.

Her friends had accused her of "flirting with her fiancé," while she simply rolled her eyes and stated she was boasting, nothing more. Giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Marlene had told her that it would work better if James didn't enjoy the taste so thoroughly.

It mattered little now, however, as James Potter was the last thing on her mind. Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas huddled close together, bundled up tightly as they made their way to the Three Broomsticks. They took a seat on a vacant bench nearby and Lily turned her too-large watch about her wrist to read the time.

"They'll be here very soon," she said, referring to the choir.

"Good. Also, I hate that to support her, we have to be out in the cold," Marlene said. Dorcas nodded in agreement.

"You both play Quidditch and we watch _you_ in the snow," Lily pointed out.

"That's true," Dorcas said.

"Oh, _Merlin,_ does it suck this much? Why do you come?" Marlene said, rubbing her hands together.

"Em and I realized recently that we're all actually the only ones willing to put up with each other," Lily shrugged.

"Makes sense," Dorcas said.

"Hello girls!" a woman said cheerfully as she walked out of the Three Broomsticks. She was tall and curvy and blonde, her teeth very straight and very white. Her eyes were blue and clear.

"Hello, Mrs. Vance," the girls greeted, scooting over to make room for the woman on the bench. She settled down, thanking them.

"Where's Mr. Vance?" Dorcas asked.

"Inside," Mrs. Vance said, gesturing to the Three Broomsticks. "I was getting a touch claustrophobic. Are you here to watch Emmeline?"

"Yeah, we are. Then we're going somewhere warm," Marlene said, leaning into Dorcas for warmth.

"I don't blame you," Mrs. Vance said. She was bundled in a stylish pea coat and was wearing a thick Ravenclaw scarf. Lily assumed it must have belonged to her husband, as Mrs. Vance never attended Hogwarts. "How's school going?"

"It's all right, we've been studying for midterms," Lily said.

"I'm _so ready_ for the holiday," Marlene groaned.

"Oh, I'm sure. I don't miss exams or homework one bit," Mrs. Vance said.

"Diane?" a man called as he exited the Three Broomsticks.

"Over here, Darling!" Mrs. Vance called. The man turned. His dark brown hair was greying and he had lines around his eyes. He was quite obviously significantly older than Mrs. Vance.

"Here you are," he said, handing Mrs. Vance one of the warm mugs in his hands. "Hello, girls, nice to see you."

"Hello, Mr. Vance," Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas greeted.

"What is this?" Mrs. Vance said, eying the mug.

"Butterbeer. I've gotten it for you before," Mr. Vance said, having a drink of his own.

"No, you haven't," Mrs. Vance said, cautiously taking a sip.

"Yes, I definitely have," Mr. Vance said.

"It's very good," Dorcas said to Mrs. Vance.

"Oh, it's butter as in _butterscotch,"_ Mrs. Vance said after having a taste. "You haven't gotten this for me, I would have remembered."

"Well, apparently you don't, because I _have_ ," Mr. Vance said with a slight huff.

Mrs. Vance rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the girls. "You think marrying an older man will be fun and then his mind starts to go."

"Hearing's still sharp, though," Mr. Vance said defensively, though a smile tugged at his lips. Mrs. Vance sent him a knowing grin before setting her mug to her lips.

"Here they come," Dorcas said, pointing down the road to where Professor Flitwick was leading a group of students dressed in choir robes their way.

"Filius looks good," Mrs. Vance observed. "What's he teach again?"

"He's our charms professor," Lily said.

"That's right, I always forget," Mrs. Vance said.

"It was always his best subject when we were in school," Mr. Vance said.

"You went to school with Professor Flitwick?" Marlene said, surprised.

"Yeah, we were roommates. Same year, same house," Mr. Vance nodded.

"What was he like in school?" Dorcas asked.

"Oh, he was a nerd. Head of the dueling club, a huge bookworm, big flirt," Mr. Vance recalled.

"He was a flirt?" Lily giggled.

" _Huge_ flirt," Mr. Vance nodded. "And he never turned down a dare, so he got hurt a lot. He was the reason Professor Dippet kind of had a limp for two years."

"Oh, wow," Marlene said. "Definitely teasing him about that next class."

"You didn't hear it from me," Mr. Vance said as the choir lined up in rows before Professor Flitwick. Emmeline cast the group a shy wave, which they returned, her mother rather enthusiastically.

"Okay, now, which one is Pam?" Mrs. Vance said in hushed tones to the girls.

"The blonde one, three spots to the left of Em," Lily whispered.

"Oh," Mrs. Vance said, appraising the girl. "Yeah, she _looks_ like a bitch."

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas snorted. "She's just a kid, Diane," Mr. Vance said.

"Yeah, well, I was a bitch in school, too," Mrs. Vance said. "And in my case, a bigger bitch came along and I had to re-evaluate some things. You either learn to only be a bitch when you have to, or keep on being one all the time just because you can, and that option is a lonely one."

"She's crazy upset that Emmeline got _O Holy Night_ and she didn't," Dorcas said.

"Good, let her waste her energy being angry about someone else's success," Mrs. Vance said. Professor Flitwick lifted his hands and began conducting the choir through _Deck the Halls_. Some patrons exited the Three Broomsticks to watch, warm drinks in hand. Some passerbys stopped to watch as well, those uninterested or in a hurry darting around them as they went.

"It's not even December yet."

"Eh, day after tomorrow."

At the sound of familiar voices, Lily glanced to the side to see Sirius and James among the Three Broomsticks crowd that came out to watch. James was working on a butterbeer while Sirius was lighting a cigarette with the tip of his wand.

Curious. Where were Remus and Peter? Not that Lily had been able to truly face Remus in weeks now, but it was odd to see their group incomplete.

Lily glanced at Marlene, who had noticed the boys as well. The blonde frowned slightly before looking pointedly at the choir.

Watching Emmeline carefully, Lily wondered if she had noticed Sirius watching and hoped his presence wouldn't make her more nervous. Emmeline seemed quite focused on Professor Flitwick for now, so perhaps not.

As the choir began to harmonize, Pam stepped forward to sing _Away In A Manger_ , the shortest solo. Her voice was well-trained, that much was clear, but she lacked emotion, having no real change in tone the entire way through.

After she was done, the crowd applauded politely and Pam returned to her usual spot as they started up on the next song, _Carol of the Bells_.

"I've always liked this one," Mrs. Vance commented, swaying her head slightly.

"I always felt like it seemed sort of dark and eerie," Mr. Vance said.

"Yeah, you know, me too," Marlene nodded.

"I think it's nice, I like the build-up," Lily said.

"Who's your friend, Evans?" Sirius said, suddenly noticing them and gesturing to Lily's right where Mrs. Vance sat. James' hand immediately went for his hair.

"My name's Diane," Mrs. Vance said brightly, reaching her hand out to Sirius to shake.

"Hello, Diane," Sirius said with more charm than he had any business using on her. "I'm Sirius."

"Serious about what?" Mrs. Vance asked. The girls snickered.

"His _name_ is Sirius," Lily whispered. "He's also seriously _annoying_ , you don't have to humor him."

"I was named after a star," Sirius said, casting Lily an annoyed glance.

"Oh, that's clever," Mrs. Vance nodded.

"Haven't seen you around, are you out of school?" Sirius asked.

Mrs. Vance laughed. "You could say that."

"Do you come around Hogsmeade often?" he asked.

"Oh my _God,_ Sirius, are you flirting with her?" Dorcas said.

"Why? Jealous, Meadowes?" Sirius smirked.

"You should _not_ do that," Dorcas said, snickering. Marlene had buried her giggling head in her hands, unable to ignore Sirius enough to avoid laughing at this situation. Lily was glad Emmeline likely couldn't hear what was happening from where she was standing.

"Why?" Sirius said, cocking a brow and doing everything possible to keep his gaze from straying in Marlene's direction.

"First of all, her husband is standing behind you," Dorcas said. Sirius and James turned to see Mr. Vance, unaffected by what was going on and still watching the choir. He lifted his mug as though to say "cheers" to them.

" _Oh,"_ Sirius said. "So sorry."

"The price I pay for having a beautiful wife," Mr. Vance shrugged.

"Congrats, Mate," James said to Mr. Vance, laughing slightly at Sirius' misfortune.

"Sorry, dear," Mrs. Vance said, patting Sirius on the shoulder. "You are _very_ cute, for what it's worth."

"Don't encourage them," Lily said. "It's hard enough for the rest of us to fit into the school with both of their egos crammed in."

"You know, my daughter is single," Mrs. Vance said. Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene exchanged horrified looks.

" _Merlin_ , and you're someone's _mum?"_ Sirius said. "What were you twelve when you gave birth?"

"Flatterer," Mrs. Vance said. "Do you know my daughter? Emmeline? She's in the second row there, the cute brunette wearing the red lipstick. That's an old trick of mine, the right red lipstick can make you feel unstoppable when you perform."

"Should we stop her?" Dorcas whispered.

"It's too late now," Marlene hissed back. "She's already setting them up, there's no going back from that!"

James was looking between Mrs. Vance and Emmeline, likely trying to find a resemblance as he looked quite confused.

"Er, kinda, we have some classes together," Sirius said, slightly awkward but hiding it well.

"I don't know how she can focus in class if there's boys this cute there," Mrs. Vance said, shaking her head. "I never could, but Emmeline has always been more studious than I ever was. She takes so much after her father."

James was now glancing between Emmeline and Mr. Vance, seeming less confused now.

"I think it's time for her solo, Diane," Mr. Vance said. Emmeline was walking to the front of the choir, looking pale.

"She's _so_ talented," Mrs. Vance said to Sirius.

Emmeline glanced their way and her eyes widened upon seeing her mother talking to Sirius. _"Oh fuck,"_ the girl could be seen mouthing before Flitwick raised his hand to begin the song.

" _O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,"_ Emmeline sang, her eyes fixed on Flitwick's cues and looking quite panicked. Thankfully, her nerves didn't seem to be coming out in her voice. The choir backed her up pleasantly.

"So far, so good, Em," Dorcas said softly, crossing her fingers. They could see the Ravenclaw trembling slightly. She had not messed up any lyrics, though, and managed to stay in time with Flitwick's conducting.

"Posture! Posture!" Mrs. Vance whispered, gesturing as she, herself, sat up straighter when Emmeline chanced another glance their way. Emmeline hadn't been slouching by any means, but straightened her spine visibly anyway.

"Y'know, it's not really the same when she's not standing on a table," Sirius mumbled to James, who chuckled slightly. Thankfully, Mr. And Mrs. Vance didn't seem to hear, too focused on their daughter.

Lily caught their eye and set a finger to her lips, unwilling to explain to Emmeline's parents that not only had the lot of them had been drinking, but that Emmeline had enough to get into guitar-smashing territory. Sirius and James simply grinned.

" _O night, o night divine…"_

"Here comes the big part," Marlene mumbled. Emmeline looked terrified.

" _Noel, No-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel!"_ Emmeline sang, her voice carrying through the street as Flitwick kept his hand steady in the air, indicating for her to hold out the note. As the note went on, scattered applause could be heard throughout the small crowd.

"That's my girl!" Mr. Vance cheered. Mrs. Vance set her fingers to her lips to whistle. The girls clapped and spied Sirius and James applauding as well.

" _O night, o holy night."_

And with that, the dreaded solo was complete. A visibly exhausted, but relieved Emmeline took her place back with the choir to begin _God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs._

"You see what I mean? So talented. She spends so much time locked up in her room working on music and I tell her, 'Em, you've got to perform it,' but she's so shy! Again, takes after her father," Mrs. Vance said, turning back to Sirius. "We're so pleased she tried out for a solo finally."

"Oh, we think she should perform more, too," James said. He and Sirius wore grins that said nothing short of knowing something Mrs. Vance did not.

"Where's the other half of your pack?" Dorcas asked, hoping to change the subject. Marlene was still avoiding glancing in the boys' direction.

"Yeah, you lot are usually attached at the hip," Lily said. "Did the others cut themselves loose when you weren't looking?"

"Peter is at gobbstones club and Remus is third-wheeling his way through a meeting with Frank and Alice about the study groups," Sirius said, flicking ash aside into the snow.

"Sounds fun," Dorcas said sarcastically.

"They'll have to stop snogging long enough to get through a meeting, right?" Lily said.

"I'm not so sure," James shrugged.

John Adrian stepped forward to begin the last solo, _Jolly Old St. Nicholas,_ and the conversation quieted at last to watch the remainder of the performances. Once Adrian was through, the choir wrapped everything up with _We Wish You A Merry Christmas_ , and Flitwick turned to face the crowd that had remained the full performance.

"Your Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Choir!" he said proudly. The crowd cheered and the choir bowed as a group. "This is our last stop today, but we'll be back to carol again the next two Saturdays."

And with that, Flitwick dismissed the choir, who dispersed about the crowd. Before Emmeline had a chance to move, Pam could be seen saying something to her. Emmeline frowned and the other girl shrugged and stepped away, seeming satisfied.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Sirius said to Mrs. Vance. James handed his now-empty mug to a passing waitress with a tray.

"Oh, you too, Dear!" Mrs. Vance said.

"Let me know if it doesn't work out," Sirius winked, nodding toward Mr. Vance. Mrs. Vance giggled.

"You're the same age as her child," Lily reminded him.

"Padfoot, what have we said about flirting with married women?" James snickered. Sirius simply shrugged and he and James started off toward Zonko's.

"Nice work, Vance," Sirius said casually as they crossed paths.

"Could have used more guitar smashing, though!" James called over his shoulder.

"Thank… you…?" Emmeline said, cheeks tinted pink before she finished shuffling over to her friends and parents, eyes fixed to the ground.

"You did great, Love," Mrs. Vance said, tugging Emmeline into a tight hug.

"You were the best soloist," Marlene nodded, visibly relaxed now that Sirius was gone.

"You survived!" Lily grinned. "And not a single sad dinosaur noise!"

"Thanks, everyone," Emmeline said, being pulled into her father's arms as soon as her mother released her.

"You performed beautifully," Mr. Vance said.

"Try smiling more next time, though, you always look so serious," Mrs. Vance said, reaching to move loose strands of hair from Emmeline's face.

"I was trying not to vomit or faint," Emmeline sighed, shrugging out of her parents' reach.

"Did the lipstick help?" Mrs. Vance asked.

"I think so," Emmeline shrugged.

"Amadeus!" Professor Flitwick said, approaching.

"Filius!" Mr. Vance said, kneeling down to properly shake Professor Flitwick's hand. "How's teaching?"

"More highs than lows," Flitwick smiled. "Diane, you look lovely, as always."

"Thank you, Filius," Mrs. Vance said, kneeling down to briefly kiss his cheek in greeting.

"Hey, Mum, Dad," Emmeline said. "Um, how about you catch up with Professor Flitwick for a while? I was going to go with the girls to get Lily's sneakoscope and some tea."

"Spare some time for a drink?" Mr. Vance asked Professor Flitwick.

"Of course!" the professor said.

"Okay, come back here at… let's say two o'clock," Mrs. Vance said, checking her watch. "Don't fill up on sweets, we're taking you all to lunch, no arguments!"

"That's so nice, Mrs. Vance, thank you," Dorcas said.

"Of course," the woman smiled, following her husband and Professor Flitwick into the pub.

As soon as her parents were out of sight, Emmeline faced her friends with a look of dread. "What did my mum say to Sirius!?"

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas exchanged looks.

"Well," Lily said hesitantly.

"Well, first he didn't realize she was anyone's mum and _may_ have been flirting with her," Marlene said gently, wincing slightly.

" _No,"_ Emmeline whined.

"Um, and then she might have told him that he was very handsome and that _you_ were very single," Lily added hesitantly.

Emmeline's eyes couldn't get any wider. _"No!_ No, no, no!"

"It's not… _that_ bad," Dorcas said.

"Does Beauxbatons take transfer students? I know some French," Emmeline said.

"Black didn't seem really freaked out or anything," Lily said, patting Emmeline gently on the shoulder. "This isn't school transfer-worthy."

"He's gonna think of me as the girl whose _mum_ is more attractive than her and needs to try and get a date for her," Emmeline groaned.

"Your mum is not more attractive than you… she's just, you know, got those weird Mrs. Robinson vibes," Dorcas said.

"That's not better," Emmeline said.

"I mean, it could be worse," Marlene said, attempting to be helpful. "You could fancy him or something, then the boy you fancy would be hitting on your mum instead of you."

Emmeline didn't respond. She just frowned.

"Em…" Dorcas said. "You _don't_ fancy Sirius, do you? I mean, you don't seem at all concerned about _James_ being there."

Emmeline's cheeks burned red and she opened and shut her mouth, struggling to find something to say. Lily cast her a sympathetic look.

"No!" Marlene gasped. "Em! Since when?"

"It doesn't matter. Even without my mum being embarrassing, we were never gonna date, it's just a crush," Emmeline mumbled.

" _Since when have you liked him?"_ Marlene asked again, as though the answer were of great importance. It seemed it was, to her.

"I dunno, third year," Emmeline said, clearly embarrassed and avoiding their eyes.

" _Third year!?_ " the three other girls said in unison. Emmeline had neglected to mention this to Lily before.

"Em!" Marlene said, suddenly stepping forward and hugging the girl. "You should have said something! Oh, _Merlin_ , you must hate me! I'm so sorry, I would have never—If I knew _you_ —!"

Emmeline's eyes watered slightly at the thought and she shook her head, pulling out of Marlenes' grasp. "You didn't know. What am I supposed to say, anyway? 'Sorry, Marly, you can't have sex with this boy I'm never going to date.'"

"I wish you would've told me," Marlene frowned, letting her go. "I mean, you know _I_ don't feel like that about him."

"Yeah, I know," Emmeline said, her tone colder than intended. Marlene winced.

"He thought you gave a good performance," Dorcas said, hoping to make Emmeline feel better. "And you were sober this time!"

"It doesn't matter, Sirius are never going to date, it's a dumb crush and now I'm the girl with the fit mum," Emmeline said.

"Stop dwelling on him thinking your mum is pretty, he flirts with Madam Rosemerta constantly, he flirts with Promfrey, he flirts with McGonagall—" Lily started.

"He flirts with Flitwick! And James!" Dorcas added.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Emmeline sighed.

"He's just a flirt, it's what he does," Marlene said. "It's not like he's off pining after your mum right now."

"Are you sure about that? You're pretty bad at picking up on what Sirius feels," Emmeline sneered before she could stop herself. Her eyes widened a bit, realizing what she'd said. Marlene frowned, shoulders slumping.

"Er, look, the situations are totally different, and Sirius _is_ a flirt, it's not like he catches feelings for every attractive person he sees," Dorcas said.

"I didn't mean to say it like that, I mean, I just—" Emmeline started.

"Look if you're mad at me, just be mad at me, don't do this passive-aggressive shit, Em," Marlene said.

"I'm not _mad,_ " Emmeline mumbled.

"You clearly are," Marlene said. Lily and Dorcas exchanged awkward glances. "I don't know what to do, except assure you that I wouldn't have had sex with him if I knew you were hung up on him!"

"And I know that! Logically, I know that!" Emmeline said, tears of frustration rolling down her cheeks. "But then I think about you two and—it doesn't matter! It's not like I ever had a chance, so why the hell shouldn't you have sex with him?"

"You keep saying you don't have a chance as though he specifically told you that he would never date a brunette Ravenclaw whose name starts with the letter 'E' or some shit," Marlene said.

"Right, I'm exactly what Sirius Black is looking for in a girlfriend," Emmeline snorted.

"If you don't have a chance it's because you pull this nonsense all the time," Marlene said aggressively, gesturing to Emmeline's entire being. "You have no self-esteem, Vance! You constantly whine about what people are gonna think of you and you never let them make up their own mind because you're so sure that everyone thinks you're a joke already. You have _no idea_ what Sirius thinks of you, you're just assuming everything and then whining even more about something _you have no proof is true."_

Emmeline wiped at her eyes, tears still streaming as Dorcas stepped over and gently set a hand to her shoulder.

"Sorry if my constant whining has been annoying you," Emmeline mumbled.

" _Merlin,_ that's not what I meant! You're doing it again!" Marlene groaned.

"What the fuck did you mean, then?" Emmeline said.

"It's frustrating to hear you put yourself down all the time because you seem to think you're some kind of loser and you're not," Marlene said.

"And I mean, you _do_ make assumptions about what people think about you a lot," Dorcas said gently. "And all it does is upset you over something that might not even be realistic."

"We _don't know_ what Black thinks of you, and if for some reason he thinks less of you because your mother happens to be pretty, then he's a git," Lily said.

"Exactly!" Marlene said. "Look, I mean, I didn't mean to make you cry, Em. You're the only one holding you back, is all I'm saying."

"I know that… I _know_ that," Emmeline said, shaking her head. "It's just hard! It's just, it's where my brain wants to go, it's what makes sense to me."

"But it _doesn't_ make sense," Lily said.

"I know!" Emmeline said, frustrated.

"We love you, okay, we think you're great, and anyone that thinks otherwise can deal with us," Marlene said. "And I really am sorry about Sirius. Really."

"You really don't have to be, I mean, I know you didn't do anything wrong, it's just hard, I'm just…" Emmeline said, hesitating a bit. "Jealous, I guess."

"Jealous? Em, it was so awkward! And now he wants nothing to do with me! You'd never do something that stupid," Marlene smiled. Emmeline managed to smile, too.

"Let me go full-Hufflepuff here for a second, I think we need a group hug," Dorcas said, gesturing for them all to do so.

"Yes, I think so, too," Lily said, stepping forward with the others and sliding their arms around them.

"We are all smart, strong, beautiful women and at the end of the day we have each other, it's all gonna be okay," Dorcas cooed to them.

"Too much Hufflepuff," Marlene said.

"No such thing," Dorcas said, squeezing them tighter. "Are we all good, are we all friends?"

"Yeah," Emmeline nodded.

"Good!" Dorcas said. "Let's go get Lily her sneakoscope, then!"

The girls released each other and Emmeline wiped at her eyes again. "We passed the shop earlier," the Ravenclaw said. "I think they're on sale."

"Great!" Lily said, reaching forward to wipe at some stray mascara on Emmeline's face. "Let's go, then."


	23. Mingling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I hope you're all doing well. This was one of those weeks where I was very glad I already had this chapter written, because I couldn't really bring myself to work on anything. A lot of you probably don't know, but I'm a Las Vegas local. The shooting over the past weekend really has the whole city shaken up. My family and I thankfully were not there, but it was so very close, in an area that we have been to multiple times. I still don't really know how to put my feelings into words.
> 
> Do leave me a comment if you enjoyed yourself, I reply to them all. I've also got a character sheet for Emmeline up on my deviantart and tumblr if you're interested. I'll post it here, too. Stay safe.

_"The nineteenth of December, 1975, Dorcas Meadowes is a chicken."_

* * *

Midterm exams were finally through and many students were celebrating by having a nap in the dorms or a snowball fight out in the grounds. Tonight would be a feast, and tomorrow those going home would board the train.

Lily and her friends had decided that ice skating sounded like a fun way to pass the next few hours until dinner and had a gone off to their respective dorms to get their skates.

After shuffling through every pair of shoes that Marlene had before _finally_ tracking down the skates, Lily and Marlene left the girls' dorm and re-entered the common room. They had barely started walking through when the portrait hole swung open and the Marauders spilled in, somehow still complaining about yesterday's History of Magic midterm. Marlene glanced at the floor, Sirius kept his gaze straight forward as to not meet hers.

"It's asinine to expect us to remember enough about the witch burning lecture he gave us _two years ago_ to compare and contrast it with the Great Splinching Incident of eighteen-whatever that he went on about in September is all I'm saying," James said. Peter was nodding enthusiastically.

Lily made brief eye contact with Remus and immediately darted her eyes away, as had become habit in the weeks since the party. Her stomach dropped each time.

She hated this. She used to look forward to seeing him, eye contact used to seem effortless.

The redhead glanced his way again, wondering if he, too, had fallen into this habit, and found him staring at his shoes as he followed his friends to their own dorm, looking uncomfortable.

This had to stop. They were mirroring Sirius and Marlene's behavior almost exactly and their problem paled in comparison to theirs.

It was just... so _stupid._

Lily slowed her pace and turned to Marlene, "Er, I'll catch up."

Marlene glanced between Remus and Lily skeptically. She raised a brow at Lily, who simply bit her lip anxiously. Finally, the blonde nodded and walked off.

"Um, Remus? Can I talk to you a second?" Lily said before he and the others could head up to the boy's dorm.

"Oh, um," the exhausted-looking Remus said nervously. The other boys eyed the two prefects curiously. "Yeah, sure."

"Alas! She never wishes to talk to me," James said dramatically.

"It's probably boring prefect shit," Sirius said, casting Remus a knowing glance before shoving James in the direction of their dorm.

Lily and Remus simply shifted their weight awkwardly until the door to the dormitory had clicked shut behind the others.

"Um, _accio comic books!"_ Lily said, pulling out her wand. The stack of comics rushed out of the girl's dorm and landed in her hands. She sheepishly handed them to Remus, who was leaning on the back of the couch for support. "I, um, finally sat down and finished these."

"Oh, thanks," Remus said, nodding shortly. He hesitated, the awkward tension thick in the air as they each avoided looking straight in the other's eyes once more. "Er. So, um, do you still want to borrow the next few, or?"

"Actually, yeah, I would. I got more attached to Peter Parker than I thought I would," Lily said, forcing a smile. "If, well, if that's all right, I mean."

"Of course it is! I'll, uh, I'll get them to you before we board the train tomorrow," Remus said, rubbing at his tired eyes. "I'm glad you like them."

"I really do," she said. She swallowed, stomach turning. This is the most they had spoken since the party after the Quidditch match.

After a few tense, quiet moments, Remus finally said, "Is, uh, is that all?"

Lily braced herself, urging herself to just talk. There wasn't any way she could end up in a more uncomfortable situation than they were already in, so she might as well give this a shot.

"I miss talking to you," she said quickly. "I… I miss being friends."

"I do too, Lily," Remus said with a frown and Lily's shoulders relaxed slightly, glad to hear him say as much. The boy was still avoiding her eye, however, and looking somewhat ashamed. "And I'm really sorry about upsetting you."

"You were just being honest," Lily said, knowing that it was true, though it hurt. "It… I mean, it still sort of stings, honestly. But I'll get over it. What I can't deal with is the awkward smiles in the hall like we're trying not to ignore each other or offend each other but we're also too afraid to _say_ anything."

Remus nodded. "Yeah. I don't need any more awkwardness in my life, honestly."

"Friends?" she asked, offering her hand. "If it's not too weird for you."

"It's definitely not," he said with a tired smile, shaking her hand.

"Great," she said.

Silence again, though less tense this time, just slightly awkward. It seemed that neither of them knew where to take the conversation now.

Finally, Lily gestured to her skates. "I'm, uh, I'm gonna go catch up with the girls. I'll see you later?"

"Definitely," he said. "Will Marlene stop giving me dirty looks now?"

Lily smiled. "Yes. I think so."

* * *

Emmeline dragged Dorcas around the lake, the Hufflepuff clinging to her shoulders and staring at her feet.

"You'll be _fine,"_ Emmeline said.

"We all have our thing, okay? You can't talk to people, I can't ice skate," Dorcas said.

"Yeah, and we're making Em learn to talk to people, so come on," Marlene said, skating backwards to catch up with them. She offered Dorcas her hand.

"Nope," Dorcas said, shaking her head.

"Come on, flying a broom is harder than this," Emmeline said.

"That is a _lie,_ Vance," Dorcas said. "You just think it's easy because you have to roller skate at your mum's restaurant."

"All I'm saying is it's a shorter fall from skates than a broom," Emmeline said, shrugging the best she could with Dorcas still gripping her shoulders.

"Hey, Lily!" Marlene waved at the redhead approaching the lake. The others turned to wave, too, and once Dorcas released _one_ shaking hand, Emmeline darted off, slipping away from the other.

"Damn it, no!" Dorcas said, flailing her arms to keep steady.

"You've got this, Dor!" Lily called after her as she sat on a rock to change into her skates.

"No, I don't!" Dorcas said, clinging to Marlene's hand now as the blonde slowly tugged her about the lake, Emmeline circling them.

Lily was on the lake shortly after, taking Dorcas' other hand.

"How'd talking with _Remus_ go?" Marlene asked, a bit of a teasing tone in her voice.

"You don't need us to beat him up, do you? Because I was way more confident in my abilities to do so when I was drunk," Emmeline frowned, falling into place on the other side of Lily.

"I could still kick his arse," Marlene nodded.

"It went fine, we both miss being friends," Lily said. "Things might still be weird until I get over this crush, but at least we're talking again…"

"I'm glad you're friends again. I once dreamed I had friends that didn't make me skate," Dorcas pouted, knees trembling.

"We didn't make you do anything," Emmeline said.

"Yeah, you were all ready to finally learn to skate until we got on the ice," Marlene teased.

Dorcas' eyes were still fixed to her feet. "You should have talked me out of it! It was a bad idea!"

"You're gonna be fine, we're right here," Lily said. Emmeline skated ahead and raised her camera, hanging from her neck, to take a picture of the other girls.

"The nineteenth of December, 1975, Dorcas Meadowes is a chicken," Emmeline said, grabbing the photo from her camera.

"The nineteenth of December, 1975, photo taken by Emmeline Vance is destroyed by Dorcas Meadowes," Dorcas said dryly, glancing up at last.

Emmeline took another photo.

"The nineteenth of December, 1975, Emmeline Vance wonders how Dorcas Meadowes will manage this while going that slowly."

"The nineteenth of December, 1975, Marlene McKinnon gets an idea," Marlene said, eyes lighting up.

"The nineteenth of December, 1975, Lily Evans was cautious to ask what this idea might be," Lily smiled.

"Remember when we watched roller derby over the summer? The whip!" Marlene said.

"The whip!" Lily and Emmeline cheered.

"No! Not the whip!" Dorcas paled.

"You'll never get this photo, then," Emmeline said in a sing-song voice as she skated off further ahead.

"No!" Dorcas said.

"Fine, fine, Lily then," Marlene said. She and Lily let go of Dorcas' hands, much to the Hufflepuff's dismay. Marlene picked up speed with Lily following. The blonde reached back and Lily grabbed onto her arm. Marlene swung Lily forward, and Lily let go, sending her flying across the ice.

The air whipped through her hair, a bit of her Gryffindor scarf fluttering behind her. Emmeline snapped a picture as she sped past. Lily could help spreading her arms and letting out a cheerful holler.

She skidded to a halt a good distance away from her friends, quickly spinning around and hurrying back. "That was a rush!" she grinned, reaching Marlene and Emmeline only shortly before Dorcas, who was inching by carefully.

"You're up, Em," Marlene said, gesturing to the direction Lily had just returned from.

"Oh, what, whip me?" Emmeline said, eyes wide.

"Doesn't sound as fun when it's you, huh?" Dorcas said, struggling to keep her balance.

"Whip! Whip! Whip!" Lily and Marlene cheered, circling the two.

"Okay, okay. Lily, hold this," Emmeline said, handing Lily her camera. Lily grinned and skated off to a better position to take Emmeline's picture when she went.

"You know, in roller derby, they wear helmets and padding," Dorcas called after Marlene and Emmeline started off.

Marlene sent Emmeline forward and Lily hit the shutter release, collecting the photo as Emmeline went speeding past. She let out a cheerful cry as well, stopping a bit further than Lily had gone.

"Come on, Dorcas!" Marlene said to the still-faltering girl.

"I will have no part in this," Dorcas declared, trying to glide a little and immediately throwing her arms out in panic.

"Your turn, Marlene, come on," Emmeline said, having returned to the group. Marlene grinned and went off with Emmeline flinging her forward this time. Still holding the camera, Lily took another photo. Marlene crouched low, to go faster and further than either Emmeline or Lily had.

Lily smiled as she pocketed the photo for safe keeping with the one she took of Emmeline earlier. She would return them to Emmeline later.

She breathed in the cold air deeply, contently as she skated over to Emmeline and Dorcas. This was _nice._ None was stressing out over studying for something. No one was crying over a boy. For a while, the war didn't matter as much as Dorcas staying upright.

It was all just _fun._

"We should start a Hogwarts Roller Derby league," Marlene said, having circled back to the others.

"We should _not_ do that," Dorcas said. "We get beat up enough in Quidditch."

"That's true, I suppose," Marlene sighed.

"And there's pretty much _no_ time," Emmeline pointed out.

"Why must you crush my dreams?" Marlene said dramatically as she took hold of Dorcas' hand to steady her again.

"Because your dreams are dangerous," Emmeline said. Marlene sighed heavily in response.

"Hey, Marly," Lily said, suddenly remembering. "Going to Slughorn's party tonight?"

"I dunno, I guess. Food's always good but we have the feast right before," Marlene said. "I still think the only reason he wants me in his club is because he had Mallory, Miles, Max, and Michael. Oh, _and_ my mum. He just wants to complete the set."

"You lot and your teachers' pet club," Dorcas said. "Surprised our dear Ravenclaw isn't in it."

"I'm not a potions prodigy like Saint Evans," Emmeline said. "Besides, I don't think he likes my dad."

"Why not?" Lily asked. "Your dad is great."

"It's… complicated," Emmeline said.

" _You_ going?" Marlene asked Lily.

"I should at least make an appearance. I don't want to offend Slughorn and someone's got to keep him from bragging about his house too much," Lily said. "I still don't know what I'm wearing, and I never got a date or anything."

"Yeah, neither did I. I'd have brought Sirius if we were talking and if Emmeline wasn't in love with him," Marlene said.

" _Merlin,_ I am not in _love_ with him! It's a crush!" Emmeline sighed. "We've never even had a proper conversation, how could I be in love with him?"

"Petunia swears she's in love with Richard Carpenter and they've never been in the same _building,"_ Lily shrugged.

"You should just bring us as your dates," Dorcas snorted.

"Ooh! We should!" Marlene said.

"I was just joking," Dorcas said.

"The food really is great," Marlene said. "And there will be poorly-guarded booze."

"And it's great networking," Lily said. "And it's fun seeing the professors buzzed."

"Lily and I are just gonna talk shit in the corner otherwise," Marlene said.

"I mean we'll probably still talk shit in the corner if you two come," Lily shrugged.

"Which one do you want, Lily?" Marlene said.

"Oh, wow, how do I pick?" Lily grinned, eying Dorcas and Emmeline in mock-seriousness. "You know, I think I'm gonna have to go with Dorcas. I'm a _sucker_ for a jock."

"Don't let James hear that," Emmeline said.

"Then I get the musician!" Marlene said. "You'd all better wear something sexy."

"How sexy?" Lily said.

"If you look in the mirror and go, 'you know, I'm _kinda_ sexy,' that's not enough," Marlene said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not sure I have anything sexy," Emmeline laughed.

"You should wear my blue dress," Marlene said.

"That low-cut one?" Emmeline said. _"Really_ low-cut?"

"You've got decent boobs, why not?" Marlene shrugged.

"I guess I could wear that black cocktail dress I took from Petunia's closet," Lily said.

"I'm gonna wear my purple jumpsuit. Because I _never_ get to wear my purple jumpsuit," Dorcas said.

"And _I_ shall wear my red dress," Marlene declared with a twirl about the ice. "We'll go long enough to get buzzed and say hi to Sluggy."

* * *

The feast was going to start soon.

Emmeline was due to meet the choir in less than five minutes. She stood trembling in the girl's washroom, staring at her pale reflection as she urged herself to calm down.

Pam Barnes' voice flitted in and out of her mind, the comment that the girl had made after they finished caroling a few weeks back.

" _Nice work, Vance. I guess it's a good thing the crowds in Hogsmeade are small, huh? There'll be way more people at the feast and you can't be drunk for that."_

She was right. The crowds at Hogsmeade were much smaller, full of strangers she'd never see again. There was less pressure, and even at that, she had barely gotten through the performances without shaking the entire time.

The feast was different. Everyone in the entire castle would be there, and she would certainly see them again. The Gryffindors had expectations after the party. Her friends kept insisting she would do great.

But part of her wanted to hide in one of the stalls until the feast was over, just avoid the whole thing entirely.

" _Nice work, Vance. I guess it's a good thing the crowds in Hogsmeade are small, huh? There'll be way more people at the feast and you can't be drunk for that."_

" _I guess it's a good thing the crowds in Hogsmeade are small, huh? There'll be way more people at the feast and you can't be drunk for that."_

" _There'll be way more people at the feast and you can't be drunk for that."_

" _You can't be drunk for that."_

It was one thing to walk to the boys' dorm and knock on the door marked "Fourth Year." It was one thing to ask to talk to AJ in private and nervously blurt out that she was looking for alcohol. It was one thing to discuss prices with him and agree to throw in an extra sickle for a flask. It was one thing to sneak it back to her dorm and close the curtains around her bed as she carefully filled the flask with some fire whiskey. It was one thing to hide that flask in her robes.

It was something else entirely to actually do something with that flask, which felt so, so heavy in the pocket of her choir robes.

_It's just one performance_ , she reasoned with herself, crouching down to glance under the doors of the stalls to see if anyone else was around. No one was. She had the bathroom to herself.

Emmeline had gotten through the performances in Hogsmeade. Surely she could get through this, too?

_But what if I don't?_

There was one thing she knew, and that was that when her brain had been happily soaked in fire whiskey, those horrid, horrid thoughts that she wasn't good enough weren't as loud. Her friends said that she had to stop worrying about what people might or might not think of her, and she knew one way to stop worrying.

She set a trembling hand to the flask and unscrewed the lid. "Just one performance," she said to herself. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and held up the flask a bit. "Cheers, Em."

Emmeline set the flask to her lips and gulped down half the contents, wincing as the liquid burned at her throat, coughing and gagging as she pulled the flask away, traces of red lipstick left behind.

She carefully wiped it away and screwed the lid back in place. Putting the noticeably lighter flask away, she pulled out two mints and popped them in her mouth, looking back to the mirror and smoothing out her carefully curled hair.

"Just one performance," she said again, and stepped out of the bathroom, feeling the warmth of the drink spreading throughout her.

She met up with the choir just as the last of her mints were dissolving and her brain was beginning to fog. They were lined up, preparing to enter the Great Hall.

"Nice of you to show up," Pam said as Emmeline walked passed her to take her spot.

"I still have thirty seconds to spare," Emmeline said, glancing at her watch.

"I was beginning to think you had chickened out," the other girl shrugged.

"Sorry to disappoint," Emmeline said.

"Hmph. Good luck out there, it's an _awful lot_ of people," Pam said.

Emmeline put on a sweet smile. "Good luck to you too, Pam. Good thing your song is so short, you won't have to be singing by yourself in front of _all_ those people for too long."

Pam simply glared at Emmeline as she took her spot in line followed the others into the great hall, her head held high.

She had this under control. She absolutely did.

* * *

It wasn't long after the feast when Remus passed out, exhausted from the recent full moon and exams. Peter had eaten half his weight in turkey at the feast and was currently deep in a food coma. Going straight to bed as well was certainly an option for James and Sirius, but it was still painfully early in the evening and sleeping seemed like a waste.

"I mean, we could crash Slughorn's party," James suggested as he and Sirius made their way to the entrance hall. If all else failed, they intended to get more food in the kitchens.

"It's not really crashing if you were invited, Prongs," Sirius snorted. James was smart and well-connected. Slughorn was _still_ trying to collect him.

"Yeah, but I told him I wasn't going," James said.

"Because it'll be a party full of nerds, my brother, and Snivellus," Sirius said. "It's a good prank opportunity, it won't be a fun _party."_

"I've got the cloak," James said, patting the book bag slung over his shoulder that he'd brought to smuggle food.

"Well, then we just have to brainstorm," Sirius said. "If MacPherson is somewhere partaking in festivities, we _could_ go mess with his office. Draw circles on the floor and symbols…"

"Hello, James, hello, Sirius," Dorcas said, walking into the entrance hall from the dungeons. She was wearing a purple jumpsuit and headband, along with sparkly eyeshadow.

"You look nice. Slughorn's party?" James said.

"Thank you! And yeah, Lily and Marlene are bringing me and Emmeline as their plus ones," Dorcas said. "You two going?"

James and Sirius cast each other a brief glance.

"Er, probably not," James said.

"Not really our scene," Sirius added. No need to confirm they'd be there if they meant to prank the attendees.

"Yeah, me neither, usually, but I figure I'll check it out," Dorcas shrugged.

"I hear the food is good," Sirius said.

"That's what Marlene said. I'm still stuffed from the feast, though," Dorcas said, patting her belly slightly. "I almost fell asleep, actually."

"Yeah, that's what Peter and Remus are doing," James said. "But it's not even nine o'clock."

"Right? Too early," Dorcas nodded. Her eyes darted behind the boys and she waved.

James and Sirius turned to see Lily, Marlene, and Emmeline descending the steps to the entrance hall, each with their hair carefully curled and pinned, and each wearing a flattering dress.

"Really, though, you did such a great job with the solo tonight," Marlene was saying to Emmeline.

"We told you there was nothing to worry about," Lily said. Emmeline smiled nervously and nodded.

"Looking good, Evans!" James said, mustering all his charm, fingers tangled in his hair.

"Oh, good, because you know, I was worried the whole walk down, _what if Potter doesn't like how I look?"_ Lily said sarcastically.

"C'mon, just take the complement," James frowned.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned away from James. "Dorcas! I like your eyeshadow, it's so sparkly."

"She's ignoring me now," James said with a pout to Sirius, who was examining his chipping black nail polish to avoid looking in Marlene's direction.

"That's a shame, Prongs, she _never_ does that," Sirius said. James huffed.

"Thank you, Lily, your hair looks nice," Dorcas said pleasantly.

"Let's go to the party, hm?" Marlene said hastily, leading the way to the dungeons.

"See you," Dorcas said to James and Sirius as she and Lily started off after the retreating Marlene.

Emmeline hadn't gone more than a few paces when she paused, glancing back at the two boys. "Er… one second."

The girls stopped, eying Emmeline curiously as she walked back to Sirius and James. "Um, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at last, cocking a brow. "Yeah?"

"I just, um, I wanted… that is," Emmeline said hesitantly, her eyes wandering from his and to his collar, a much safer place. "Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas told me about, you know, um, what my mum said to you. And I just, um, I really wanted to apologize for her. It was, uh, it was weird. And, um, uncalled for."

She took a deep breath as though she had forgotten how while choking out what she wanted to say.

"Oh," Sirius said with a shrug. "It was fine, no problem."

"Yeah?" Emmeline said. "I'm just—I mean, my mum, she's always been—"

"She was fine," Sirius said. "Don't worry about it, Vance, really."

"Mums are embarrassing by nature, not gonna hold it against you," James nodded.

"Count yourself lucky, _my_ mum is embarrassing by being outwardly prejudice. In public. Loudly," Sirius said. Emmeline smiled.

"Okay," she said. "I just, um, I thought I ought to, well, say something."

"No harm done," Sirius said, giving her a friendly pat on the shoulder. She gave them a nervous wave before going off to rejoin her friends, who hastily began whispering to her once they started walking off.

For a moment, Sirius and James watched them go, fabric clinging to their hips and waists in ways the uniform never did.

"Is it _legal_ for four girls that good-looking to all be friends with each other?" Sirius said, shaking his head.

"People probably say the same thing about us," James said.

"Nah, I blow you all out of the water," Sirius grinned. James shoved him playfully in the shoulder. "Really, though, McKinnon in that dress is just unfair. How am I supposed to get over her now that there's a mental image of her in _that?_ She's not sympathetic to my plight at all."

"To be fair, she didn't know she'd run into you," James said.

"To be fair, I did _enjoy_ the view," Sirius added. "If she were here she'd get on my case for assuming my opinion has any impact on what she wears."

"They all would, they'd tag team about it," James nodded. "Also, did you see Evans' legs? How is _that_ fair? She's short and they're still long somehow?"

"Let's go prank the shit out of that party."

"I mean, I can't think of a better way to maturely deal with our romantic and sexual frustrations."

* * *

There was a theory going around that Frank and Alice had actually placed a permanent sticking charm to their hands, which was why they were never seen anymore without their fingers tightly laced.

"It's nice," Dorcas said as they watched the couple talking to Slughorn, Alice's head resting on Frank's shoulder.

"It's so sweet it's giving me a cavity," Lily said, popping a hors d'oeuvre in her mouth.

"I will gladly admit that I am bitter and single," Emmeline said, absentmindedly stirring her drink with her straw. "So while I _am_ happy for Alice, do they have to snog in public so much?"

As if on cue, Slughorn excused himself from the couple and Frank immediately leaned down to kiss a giddy Alice.

"I much prefer the PDA to them hopelessly pining over each other and not doing anything about it," Marlene cringed at the memory.

"They are no longer individual people," Emmeline said as though narrating a horror movie. "They have become a singular being: _Fralice!"_

"Fralice Orpingbottom," Marlene said mystically.

"They're in the honeymoon phase! It's nice," Lily said.

Emmeline sighed heavily. Frank was lightly stroking Alice's hair, her smile never faltering. "That's just…"

"Nice," Lily said again.

" _Not fair,"_ Emmeline said bitterly.

"Aw, Em wants someone to play with her hair," Dorcas cooed.

"Em wants _Sirius_ to play with her hair," Marlene grinned.

" _Shush,"_ Emmeline frowned.

"You talked to him, it's progress," Lily said.

"I guess."

* * *

Meanwhile, behind the bar, crouched two boys under an invisibility cloak, shoving bottles of liquor into a book bag.

"This is more alcohol than one person needs. Slughorn has no business having this much," Sirius mumbled, bottles of firewhiskey in each hand.

"Exactly, he clearly has a problem," James agreed, magically expanding the inside of his bag.

"We are _helping_ him," Sirius declared. They mumbled a few incantations to lighten the bag and keep the bottles from breaking. Deciding they had nicked enough alcohol to last them until graduation, they hunched together and crept out from behind the bar, still concealed by the cloak.

"I told you, it's a stupid crush, it's not like we're compatible or anything," Emmeline was saying as they crept by.

"Right, so you haven't written _any_ sappy love songs about him?" Lily teased. Emmeline rolled her eyes, but turned pink regardless.

"Oh my _god,_ you _have!"_ Marlene grinned.

"Sing us some bars," Dorcas said.

"I don't know what you guys are expecting," Emmeline sighed. She sang dramatically, her tone hushed so that only her friends (and Sirius and James, unknown to her) could hear. _"Oh, you've got me_ breathless, _like my head's underwater! Oh, notice me,_ please notice me, _my sweet Marauder."_

James and Sirius stopped walking immediately, looking back to the girls.

"That was good, did you just make it up?" Marlene said as the others giggled.

"You know, I _did,"_ Emmeline snorted. "I'm just that great at songwriting, you know?"

"Serenate him! He'll fall for you for sure!" Lily snickered.

"Yeah, you performed your solo how many times between choir and the feast tonight? Which went _perfectly_ might I add? You can sing for one boy," Dorcas grinned.

"Oh, yeah, I'll scale Gryffindor tower with my guitar," Emmeline said. "Fool-proof."

"Hey, half-breed," Mulciber called from a few paces away, drink in hand. Severus stood nearby, slouching slightly as though hoping no one would notice he was there. "Party's kinda slow, gonna climb up on a table and dance for us?"

"Fuck off, Mulciber," Marlene called back immediately.

"I'd like to see you on a table, too, McKinnon," Mulciber shrugged. "Skirt that short? It'd be quite a show."

" _Fuck off, Mulciber,"_ Lily and Dorcas each said at once.

"Oh, what are you two gonna do about it?" Mulciber snickered. James and Sirius had their wands raised beneath the cloak, creeping closer. "Come on, you're already embarrassing your families, what's another table dance? So disappointed I missed the last one, right Sev?"

Severus was very interested in his goblet.

"Although it would be hard to embarrass _your_ parents, huh, Half-Breed? It wouldn't be _that_ surprising that you turned out like your muggle whore of a mother."

Emmeline's wand was out and against Mulciber's throat in an instant. Dorcas, Marlene, and Lily had their wands at the ready as well.

"I'm sure _your_ mother would love to hear the filth falling from her son's mouth," Dorcas said.

"Now, now, Dorcas," Lily said. "With a face that ugly, how can one expect it to produce anything less?"

"So touchy!" Mulciber laughed, pulling out his own wand. "If you lot don't want to be called whores, maybe you shouldn't _act like whores."_

" _Flipendo!"_ Sirius and James hissed, sending Mulciber crashing backwards into Severus, both of them colliding with the table of drinks behind them.

"What the hell?" Emmeline said, putting her wand down and looking around for the source of the curse. Those surrounding did as well.

"Whore! What are you trying to do?" Mulciber snarled at Emmeline as he and Severus scrambled to their feet.

"I didn't do it!" Emmeline said.

" _Listen,_ half-breed—!" Mulciber said, approaching her to snarl in her face properly. Another spell from beneath the cloak blasted him to the side, the crowd quickly moving to avoid his spiraling fall.

"See!?" Emmeline said, gesturing to her unused wand.

"You can curse me all you want! You'll still be a half-breed with a scum-sucking father and a whore for a mother!" Mulciber spat, scrambling to his feet again. "And McKinnon, well, she's got no excuse for being a _blood traitor whore_. Birds of a feather, I guess."

Mulciber's sleeve caught fire suddenly. Panicked, Severus threw a goblet of water at him, putting most of it out. There were murmurs all about. Who was casting these spells?

Slughorn quickly extinguished Mulciber the rest of the way before grabbing the boy by the collar and dragging him to the door.

"I will not have such offensive language in my company, _out,"_ Slughorn said. "Twenty points from Slytherin. Your parents should expect a letter from me, Mr. Mulciber."

"Me!? _She—"_ Mulciber started.

"Is a bright young woman who should be treated with respect. Goodnight," Slughorn said, slamming the door after sending Mulciber out. Scattered applause were heard through the room.

"So sorry for that! Back to the party, everyone!" Slughorn said cheerfully, waving his wand to set the knocked over table upright. "All right, Miss Vance?"

"Er, yes, Professor," Emmeline frowned.

"Miss McKinnon?" Slughorn said. "Miss Meadowes?"

"I'm fine, kinda mad I'm not the one who hexed him," Marlene said.

"We're fine," Dorcas nodded.

"Where's Miss Evans gone?" Slughorn asked.

James and Sirius were way ahead of them, following Lily as soon as she separated from the group, grabbing Severus by the sleeve and pulling him aside.

"Did you see what just happened!?" Lily hissed at him.

"Why are you mad at _me?_ I didn't _do_ anything!" Severus said at once.

"Exactly! You didn't do _anything_ to stop your friend from calling Emmeline and Marlene whores! You _know_ that's an awful thing to say and you just stood there!" Lily said.

"What would you have me do, Lily?" Severus sighed.

"Say something, say _anything,_ my _God_ , Sev. Marlene and Emmeline weren't even _doing_ anything!" Lily said.

"You don't know anything about Vance's mother, do you?" Severus said.

"What that she's a muggle?" Lily said in hushed tones. "So is _my_ mother. So is my father. _So is yours."_

Sirius and James cast each other surprised glances beneath the cloak. They had assumed that git to be a pureblood.

"That's not what I was getting at," Severus said. "Her mother—"

"Is lovely, and _no one_ should be called that. You hexed Schnell last year for calling _your_ mother one, why is it all right when it's Emmeline's mother?" Lily frowned.

"I owe Vance no loyalty," Severus scoffed. "McKinnon either, for that matter."

"This isn't about loyalty, it's about standing by and letting your _friend_ be an arse because it's not directly affecting you."

"I can't control Mulciber!"

"These are the people you hang out with, Sev! This is what they act like! Is this who you really want to associate yourself with?"

"I don't give you a hard time about who _you're_ associating with!"

"Who, the girls minding their own business when Mulciber decided to start calling people half-breeds and scum-suckers? Does he know _you're_ only half? Or do you pretend you aren't? What kind of friendship is that?" Lily said, her tone low each time she spoke of anyone's blood status.

"I let people believe what they want to," Severus hissed. _"I'm_ not going around calling people that, Lily."

"Yeah, you just saw it and didn't stop it. You're supposedly his friend, you could have _tried_ , but you didn't," Lily said.

"Why is it _my_ fault?!"

"Because if you can help, but you don't try, then it's your fault, too," Lily said.

"Oh come _on,"_ Severus aid. "You know me, I'd _never_ call someone any of that!"

"So why do you hang out with people that do?" Lily said. "Figure out who your real friends are."

She turned to leave, to rejoin Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas, who stood watching nearby. Severus grabbed her wrist to stop her. She turned to eye him in annoyance.

"You _know_ you're my friend," he said desperately. "Always."

Her expression softened only slightly. "Then be the person I know you _can_ be."

She tugged her wrist away and walked off with the girls. James spoke softly, casting a spell to tie Severus' shoe laces together as the boy watched her leave with a sigh.

Sirius and James stayed long enough to watch Severus fall over with a great crash before shuffling out of the room to properly laugh about it.

"I'm so glad we stopped by. We got booze, we got to hex Mulciber, got to watch Snivellus get a lecture," Sirius said softly once their laughter had calmed down.

"And we found out Vance fancies one of us," James said.

" _Right_ , with Mulciber being a prat I'd forgotten!" Sirius said. "I mean, we're a charming bunch, who could blame her?"

"Which of us do you suppose it is?" James smirked.

"Moony," Sirius said with little hesitation.

"You think?"

"Definitely. He's all bookish, she's a Ravenclaw, they trade comics, it makes sense," Sirius said.

"You know, it really does," James said, considering this. "She'd be _perfect_ for Moony, actually. She likes all that nerd stuff, she's cute, she's about as awkward as he is."

"Maybe we help Vance out," Sirius said. "Plant some seeds in his head. Lord knows he needs to get laid."

"Oh, yeah," James agreed. "Though, not before me."

"Moony is _definitely_ getting laid before you," Sirius snorted.

"How do you figure!?" James said, insulted.

"He's better at talking to girls than you and you're saving yourself for a girl that's turned you down about a dozen times," Sirius shrugged.

"I'm not 'saving myself' for Evans," James said dryly.

"Sure."

"I'm not!"

"Five galleons says Moony loses his virginity before you, then," Sirius said, offering James his hand. With a huff, James shook Sirius' hand.

"Five galleons also says my first time goes better than yours did," James offered.

"So, what, you and your fuckbuddy are still talking a day later?" Sirius cocked a brow.

"Exactly," James said.

"Yeah, okay," Sirius said, and they shook hands once more. "Now, I dunno about you, but I think we need to leave a parting gift at this party. Liven things up a bit more before we head off to vandalize MacPherson's office."

"What do you have in mind?" James asked.

"Do you have the test map we made of the dungeons?" Sirius asked.

James shuffled through the alcohol in his bag before pulling out a folded piece of parchment. He unfolded it to reveal a sketchy drawing of the dungeons. Two dots labeled "James Potter" and "Sirius Black" stood outside a room filled with moving, labeled dots.

"Good, no one else is around. Mulciber is off being a prat way over there," Sirius said, pointing to Mulciber's dot. "How do you feel about a one-stag stampede?"

James' eyes lit up. "Brilliant."

Sirius slung the bag over his shoulder and stayed under the cloak as James slipped out, transforming into Prongs.

"I'll wait for you right here, Mate," Sirius said, opening the door. Prongs rushed inside, prompting numerous guests to immediately shriek in surprise.

" _What the hell!?"_

" _Slughorn!"_

" _Hex it!"_

" _Don't hex it, it's a beautiful creature!"_

" _What's it doing here?"_

" _Lily don't try to pet it, it's a wild animal!"_

" _But he's letting me!"_

Sirius watched from the doorway, softly cackling as people dove out of Prongs' way and the stag made a mess of just about everything.

"Happy Christmas," Sirius mumbled.


	24. Jumping Someone Else's Train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Late chapter, I had to be an adult and take care of some stuff with my car. Thanks for the love last chapter. I'm still having a weird time but I've had a chance to write a bit this week, so there's that. Hope you guys like this one, let me know!

_"Come home with us. They've already got a son."_

_"So do you."_

* * *

"No class for two weeks!" Marlene practically cheered as the Hogwarts Express began rolling away from Hogsmeade station.

"No tutoring for two weeks!" Lily added.

"No dealing with Pam for two weeks," Emmeline sighed contently.

"No Quidditch practice in the cold for two weeks," Dorcas said.

"No 'Marauders' for two weeks," said Lily.

"No MacPherson for two weeks," Marlene said.

"No climbing a billion steps to go to bed for two weeks," said Emmeline.

"I think we've covered it all," Dorcas said. Her horned owl hooted, annoyed, from above her. "What's wrong, Bubba? You wanna fly home instead?"

The owl hooted again. Dorcas stood to open his cage and he fluttered down to her shoulder, sitting there.

"Okay, do you just want to sit there?" Dorcas asked again. Bubba seemed to decide he did not, taking off from Dorcas' shoulder and landing atop Marlene's head.

"Bubba, no," Marlene said, swatting at him. He fluttered above her head to avoid her hand before landing there again. The other girls giggled at the sight. "You're ruining my hair."

"Bubba," Lily said, offering her arm to the creature. Bubba landed there, hooting again and nipping at Lily's fingers when she went to stroke his feathers.

"Okay, Grumpy," Dorcas said, shoving open the window and letting chilled gusts of wind in. "You want to go out? Just meet me at home?"

Bubba hooted once more and soared out the window, disappearing high above the train. Emmeline helped Dorcas shove the window shut.

"I swear, my owl has such an attitude," Dorcas said.

"He probably just wants to see Josh," Emmeline said.

"It's so unfair. Bubba is _my_ owl and he likes my brother better," Dorcas sighed, plopping back in her seat.

"I'm sure he still likes you fine," Lily said.

"I should be his favorite, I feed him," Dorcas said with a bit of a pout.

"We like you better than Josh, if that helps," Marlene said.

"I mean, you'd better," Dorcas said. "Josh didn't keep an eye on you gits when you got drunk."

"Josh doesn't dance to ABBA with me," Lily said.

"Josh doesn't bring snacks when we stay up all night studying," Emmeline said.

"Josh doesn't _make us fudge,"_ Marlene hinted heavily.

"Oh, right!" Dorcas said, digging through her bag to pull out three festive boxes. She handed one to each of them. "Happy Christmas!"

"Thank you, Dorcas," Lily said as Marlene practically tore the lid off her box to dig in.

"I look forward to this every year," Emmeline said, popping a piece of fudge in her mouth before shuffling through her own bag. "I have gifts, too."

"Oh, same!" Lily said. "Thanks to a Mr. James Potter and the fact that the sneakoscope was on sale, I was able to actually _buy_ gifts."

Lily and Marlene sorted through the overhead storage to get the gifts they had gotten the others, all wrapped and tied in bows.

Reading through tags, each girl was handed their respective gifts.

"Okay, who first?" Emmeline said.

"Dorcas, we already opened your fudge, go," Marlene said, gesturing to Dorcas' pile of gifts.

"Twist my arm," Dorcas smiled, grabbing Marlene's gift and tearing at the paper. She pulled out a large, cozy looking, yellow sweater with a badger on the front.

"Oh, wow, this is the tackiest thing I've ever seen in my life. I _love_ it," Dorcas said, examining the sweater with awe. She hastily pulled it over her head and posed dramatically as though modeling it.

"It's very _you_ ," Emmeline giggled.

"Let's see what Vance got me," Dorcas said, reaching for the next gift. She unwrapped it to reveal assorted cookie cutters. "Aw, cute, they're shaped like dragons and nifflers and stuff!"

"They're apparently endorsed by Newt Scamander," Emmeline said, pointing to the packaging.

"That's so cute! I'm gonna make hippogriff-shaped fudge," Dorcas grinned. "And explain what all of them are to my family, I'm sure. Thank you."

Dorcas picked up Lily's gift and tore it open, pulling out a small case. Inside was a nice pair of sunglasses.

"Oh! These are cool! You remembered I lost my last pair practicing Quidditch!" Dorcas said.

"I put about a dozen spells on these ones so they should be able to withstand almost anything," Lily said.

Dorcas slid the sunglasses on and stood up, smoothing out her sweater before walking about the compartment as though it was a runway. "Look out, Twiggy!" Dorcas declared, striking a pose.

Lily and Emmeline laughed.

"Who's Twiggy?" Marlene asked.

"She's a famous muggle model," Lily said.

"The one with the big eyes," Emmeline said.

" _Ooh,"_ Marlene said.

Dorcas sat down again, taking the sunglasses off. "Open yours, Marly."

"Don't mind if I do," Marlene said, immediately ripping the paper off of Lily's gift for her.

"I know you were looking forward to me baking something, I hope this is an all right substitute," Lily said as Marlene revealed a box with Madam Puddifoot's logo stamped on top. She opened the box and the smell of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies filled the compartment.

" _Yes,_ thank you," Marlene grinned, taking one and offering one to each of the others. With the cookie still held between her teeth, she opened Emmeline's gift, revealing an elegant-looking potion bottle.

"Sleekeazy's curl setting potion! You got me a _big_ bottle!" Marlene said, still chewing her cookie. "Thank you! I've been scraping the last remains of my bottle for like, a week."

"You were saying! I was really hoping you weren't going to buy more since I'd already gotten you this," Emmeline smiled.

"You can never have enough of this stuff," Marlene said. "Open yours. Don't judge what I got you too hard, I made it myself."

"Well, now I've got to see," Emmeline said, tearing open Marlene's gift. It was a t-shirt, and when Emmeline unfolded it, she revealed stenciled letters across the front reading, _Killer Queen._

Emmeline snorted. "Thank you, it's lovely."

"You are welcome," Marlene nodded. "So, we've got Saint Evans and Killer Queen. Dorcas, you and I need nicknames."

"Ooh," Dorcas said, tapping her chin in thought. "I want to be _Barracuda."_

"Why?" Lily laughed.

"I dunno," Dorcas shrugged.

"We'll figure something out," Marlene said. "Open the other one, Em."

Emmeline unwrapped Lily's gift, pulling out another shirt, this one with _Bowie_ printed colorfully across the front.

"Nice," Emmeline said, grinning.

"You don't already have that one, do you? I got it from AJ and prayed you hadn't done the same," Lily said.

"No, this one I don't have, thank you," Emmeline said.

"You'e welcome," Lily said. "Happy Christmas."

"Your turn, Lily!" Dorcas said, gesturing to her unopened gifts.

"Let's see," Lily said, taking the small package from Emmeline and unwrapping it, revealing a plain box. When she opened the box, she found a carefully cut green crystal on a chain. She lifted the chain and the pendulum swung gently.

"This isn't funny," Lily said, though the four of them were snickering.

"You're right, it's only funny if this one _also_ says you're marrying James Potter," Emmeline grinned.

"Ask it!" Marlene said.

"The train's too bumpy," Lily said, putting the crystal away. The others pouted. Lily moved on to Marlene's gift, finding another small box. "You didn't get me a pendulum too, did you?"

"No, I didn't think of it," Marlene sighed.

Lily slid the lid off the box to find a pretty, dainty watch. "Oh, this is cute," she said, pulling it out of the box.

"And it should fit your stupid, tiny wrist," Marlene said, pointing to the watch that had turned itself about Lily's wrist yet again.

Lily unfastened the old watch before setting the new one in its place. She struggled no more than a few seconds to secure it with one hand before shaking her arm around to see if the new watch would twist around like the old one. It did not.

"Thank you, Marly," Lily said.

"You're welcome," Marlene said, taking Lily's discarded watch and giving it a try on her own wrist. It still turned when she jerked her arm a bit.

"Well, now that we're done with Christmas gifts," Dorcas said, pulling out another box and handing it to Emmeline. "Happy Birthday."

Emmeline was the oldest of the group; she would turn sixteen on the twenty-eighth.

"Oh, thank you!" Emmeline said. Lily and Marlene passed over gifs and well and Emmeline carefully unwrapped each one: a box of guitar picks from Dorcas, a pair of rat-shaped earrings that looked like Bruno and Boris from Marlene, and more Polaroid film from Lily. She thanked each of them and put on the earrings.

"How do I look?" she said.

"Like a crazy rat lady," Marlene nodded.

"Good," Emmeline said.

"I mean, it's accurate," Lily smiled.

"I'd be a crazy dog lady if Hogwarts would let me, but this works too, huh boys?" Emmeline said, glancing to the overhead storage where Bruno and Boris paid her little mind in their travel cage.

"Come on, be a crazy _cat_ lady if anything," Marlene said.

"I can't wait to get a cat," Lily said. "Petunia's allergic so we never could. Maybe by summer I'll have enough saved up again to get one."

"Bubba is quite enough for me," Dorcas said.

"I aspire to be Mopsy Fleabert," Emmeline said.

"The mad old woman with like twenty dogs in Hogsmeade?" Marlene cringed.

"That's the life," Emmeline nodded.

"Oh, Merlin, Em, we need to get you a boyfriend," Marlene said.

Emmeline snorted. "Maybe you'll have better luck than I have."

"Well, if I ever get on speaking terms with _Sirius_ again," Marlene said in a sing-song voice.

"'Hey I don't want to sleep with you anymore, but I've got his friend,'" Emmeline said, taking on a Scottish accent rather than her usual London tones to imitate Marlene.

"So, you want to have sex with Sirius," Marlene smiled.

"Oh, Merlin," Emmeline sighed.

"I'm sure that's what you'd be _moaning_ if—"

" _Marlene!"_

* * *

"… So then Prongs busts in there as a stag and causes _complete_ chaos," Sirius said to the intently listening Remus and Peter.

"Evans thought I was cute, pat me on my head," James grinned.

"Well, to be fair, your animagus form _is_ much cuter than you are as a person," Sirius nodded.

"Oh, yes, it's adorable," Remus snorted.

"She pat me on the head as a person, too!" James objected.

"She was being condescending," said Peter.

"Irrelevant," James said.

" _Quite_ relevant," Remus said, tearing open a chocolate frog, which immediately leaped from its wrapping.

James caught it mid-air, tossing it back to Remus in one fluid motion. "Why must you be so negative about my love life?"

" _What_ love life?" Sirius said.

"We're being realistic," Remus shrugged, popping the frog in his mouth.

"Speaking of love lives, though," Sirius said. _"Apparently_ Vance fancies one of us."

"You?" Remus said to Sirius, sounding rather bored at the notion. Girls liked Sirius; it was nothing new.

"I didn't think she liked me before, then I hit on her mum," Sirius said.

"And she was _very_ uncomfortable at the notion of her _mum_ setting her up with ol' Padfoot," James added.

"Well, who wouldn't be?" Remus cringed. "I don't think she hates you, I think she's got crippling levels of shy. And _if_ she fancies you, I doubt that helps."

"Yeah, okay, but we're pretty sure she fancies _you_ , Moony," James said. Remus' eyes darted up from his Helga Hufflepuff chocolate frog card to the two grinning idiots across from him.

"What? _Me!?"_ Remus said.

"Lucky," Peter said.

"Em doesn't _fancy_ me, you must've heard wrong," Remus said.

"Meadowes, Evans, and McKinnon were giving her a hard time about someone she's got the hots for," James shrugged.

"Made fun of her for writing _love songs,"_ Sirius teased.

"Then she made one up on the spot… how'd it go?" James said, glancing Sirius' way.

" _You've got me feeling breathless!"_ Sirius sang dramatically.

" _Like my head's underwater!"_ continued James.

"Something, something, something!" sang Sirius.

" _My sweet Marauder,"_ James finished. Peter was trying not to laugh. Remus looked horrified.

"That doesn't mean she's talking about _me,"_ Remus said.

"Well, who else?" Sirius said. "I doubt it's me."

"Me neither," Peter shrugged. "I don't think we've said more than two words to each other."

"She _is_ mean to me, maybe she doesn't know how to express her feelings," James said thoughtfully.

"The girl listens to _Queen,_ Prongs, she has _taste,"_ Sirius teased, earning a forceful shove from James. "Besides, we already figured it was Moony because you two are all, you know, comic books and prefect duty and being nerds in general."

"Your children will be very smart," Peter nodded.

"Very well-read," James agreed.

" _Children!?"_ Remus said, eyes wide. "Look, Em's great, but… no. I don't date."

The others groaned at once.

"Okay, hypothetically, you're not a giant prat that's afraid of dating," Sirius said.

"I'm not _afraid_ of it," Remus said, entirely unconvincing.

" _If_ you dated, would you date Vance?" James said.

"I—I don't know, it's irrelevant!" Remus said.

"It's very relevant!" Peter said.

"It's not, because I _don't date,"_ Remus said again.

"We've been over this, Moony!" James said. "Don't be the moon's bitch!"

"I don't have a _choice,_ Prongs," Remus sighed in frustration.

"Look, there's never been a _real_ candidate before," Sirius said, casting Remus a brief, knowing glance that Remus prayed James didn't notice. "I mean, you could do worse than Vance. Sleep on it."

"I'll think about it if it gets you guys off my back," Remus said. "But I _don't date."_

"Fine, fine," James said.

"You want to date," Sirius whispered mystically. "You want to date _Emmeline Vance!"_

"So, the map, Pete and I came up with a sort of mock-up," Remus said abruptly, pulling out a folded piece of parchment in the hopes of changing the subject.

"Yeah! You see, you keep folding back and this way we can fit every floor," Peter said as James took the folded parchment, the front labeled "front cover" in Peter's messy scrawl. Unfolding the flaps revealed more parchment, this labeled "dungeons" another fold, this labeled "grounds/ground floor."

James unfolded the entire thing with Sirius looking over his shoulder as he did so, ending with a section labeled "clock tower."

"Think you can work with that?" Remus said.

"I think so. Pads and I can probably start drawing up the final draft over the holiday," James nodded.

"If you can tear him away from his motorbike," Peter said.

"Oh, my love," Sirius sighed, thinking of the vehicle in question. "I'll see you again soon."

"Yeah, well, he's just doing the labels, _I'm_ drawing everything," James said. "And most of the map I've drawn out already, I just have to clean it up and transfer it."

"That'll still take a while," Remus said. James nodded. "We'll work on the spells when we get back to school.

"And then we'll be unstoppable," Sirius grinned.

* * *

Families stood in wait at Platform 9¾ as the Hogwarts Express slowed to a stop and students began pouring out, eager to go home, lugging smaller travel bags rather than their entire trunks. The Marauders fell into step behind Lily, Marlene, Dorcas and Emmeline on the way off the train.

As Emmeline stepped down on the platform, Sirius smirked and gave Remus a swift shove, sending the boy off the train and crashing into the brunette, nearly knocking her over and dropping his already-falling-apart suitcase in the process.

"I'm so sorry, Em!" Remus said hastily, face burning red. He quickly glared back at Sirius, who was gracefully stepping off of the train.

"No harm done," Emmeline assured him, checking on her rats in their cage. The jostling had woken them, but they mainly looked annoyed, not hurt.

"Good! … Good, er, have a nice holiday," he said awkwardly, grabbing for his suitcase. James swiftly shoved it closed as it promptly popped open, preventing anything from falling out.

"You too, Remus," Emmeline smiled. "Er, have you tried using _reparo_ on your suitcase?"

"Yeah, it won't really respond to it anymore," Remus sighed, pulling out his wand, conjuring up a rope and kneeling down to haphazardly tie it around the suitcase to keep it closed at least until he got home. "I just need a new one."

"Maybe for Christmas," Emmeline said.

"Maybe," Remus said.

"Will you look at my brother?" Dorcas was scowling, gesturing to a very tall boy that greatly resembled her, Bubba perched contently on his shoulder. Josh waved, pointing to the owl with a smug grin.

"Just accept you'll never be that bird's favorite," Marlene said as Emmeline offered Remus a wave and walked off with the girls, leaving Remus to turn back to his friends.

"What was your best case scenario, shoving me into her?" Remus mumbled to Sirius.

"Sloppy snogging," James said as though it were obvious.

"Not my fault you didn't go for it," Sirius shrugged.

"Petey! Oh, my Petey!" a plump woman with carefully curled hair called before enveloping Peter in a massive hug, kissing the top of his head repeatedly.

"I missed you too, Mum," Peter said as he gasped for air.

"Hello, Jamesy, Remy, Siry," Peter's mother cooed, releasing him to pull the three others into a hug at once, pecking each of them on the cheek.

"Hello," Remus said as they each squirmed slightly in her grasp.

"Nice to see you again," James said.

"Looking lovely as always, Susanne," Sirius said, the first to wiggle out of her arms. Remus and James quickly followed.

"You boys look famished," Susanne said, putting her hands to Peter's cheeks and appraising him. The others snickered, Peter not looking the least bit starved. "Are they feeding you enough? Do I need to send a letter?"

"They're feeding us plenty, Mum," Peter said. "I should probably actually _lose_ some weight."

"Hush! You're perfect," his mother said, pulling him into a hug again. "I'm making you a roast when we get home, and a pie! And strudel!"

"Hey, Sirius, your _girlfriend_ is over there," James joked, gesturing to the blonde woman standing with Emmeline and talking to Lily's parents.

"Hm? Oh, yeah," Sirius said, winking when the woman's gaze fell their way. She giggled, giving him a wave. Emmeline glanced to see who her mother was waving at and immediately turned red, slouching and putting her hand to the side of her face in an attempt to hide.

Susanne gasped. "Amadeus Vance's wife?"

"Yeah, he flirted with her at Hogsmeade, didn't realize she was someone's mum," James grinned.

"You stay away from her, she's bad news," Susanne warned.

Before anyone could question what was so bad about Diane Vance, Remus' parents called his name as they approached.

"How are you, dear? Oh, you look exhausted! You take a nap on the way home, I'll make us some tea when we get there," Hope Lupin fussed, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss her son's forehead.

"How've the cycles been?" Lyall asked softly.

"Fine, Dad, fine," Remus assured him.

Sirius leaned over to them and said in a sing-song voice, "Remus has got a _girlfriend."_

Lyall cocked a brow. Hope looked delighted. "Who is it?!" she asked.

"No one, he's lying, I'm _not dating anyone,"_ Remus said, looking more and more exhausted as the seconds ticked by.

"The brunette over there by the redhead," James said, pointing to Emmeline and Lily.

"Oh! She's cute, Remus!" Hope said.

"Vance isn't her _father?"_ Suzanne said.

"Yeah," James said.

"Amadeus Vance? Huh," Lyall said.

"I'd stay away from the girl, too, if she's like her mother," Susanne said.

"Come now, Susanne, that's not fair," Lyall said.

"Why's everyone so scandalized by Mrs. Vance?" Remus said. "I know she's a muggle but this seems a bit beyond that?"

"Well, she's not Amadeus' first wife, some people still find it quite taboo that he's been divorced," Lyall said.

"Messy, _messy_ divorce," Susanne added. "Messy and _public."_

"He's done great work at the ministry in Muggle Liaisons and such, that's really all that matters," Lyall said, sounding quite bored with this gossip. "If you want to date the daughter, date her."

" _We're not dating,"_ Remus sighed.

"There they are! FLEAMONT! I found them! Over here, you old git!" An older, bespectacled woman called before rushing over and pulling James into her arms, her greying hair falling from her messy bun.

"Hey, Mum," James said.

"Come here, Sirius," Euphemia said, releasing James and embracing Sirius at once.

Fleamont was quick to catch up. He looked like one might imagine James would look in about fifty or so years, with the greatest differences being that Fleamont's hair was neatly slicked back, he wore no glasses, and his eyes were brown.

Fleamont embraced James and Sirius, Euphemia having moved on to hugging Remus and Peter and greeting their parents. "Missed you boys."

"Ditto," James said.

"You're so _tall,_ Remus, I used to be at eye level with you," Euphemia fussed. "Why do you all have to grow up?"

"Stay our little boys forever," Susanne cooed, hugging Peter again.

" _Mum,"_ Peter sighed, embarrassed.

"Girls must be following you all constantly," Euphemia said.

"Well, _Remus—"_ Sirius started before Remus elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

" _Boy!"_ came a deep voice, slicing through the platform like a knife. Sirius cringed and glanced his father's way, the man looking intimidating and regal as always. A few paces past him stood Sirius' mother, fawning over Regulus.

"I don't suppose he could be speaking to any of the other boys on the platform?" Sirius mumbled.

" _Sirius Orion Black!"_

"Nope, I think he's talking to you," James said.

"You don't have to go over there, Darling," Euphemia said.

"We'll leave now," Fleamont added.

"No, I'll be right back," Sirius said. He forced his head high and approached the man, their grey eyes reflecting equal annoyance.

"What?" Sirius said once he was close enough to properly speak with his father.

"When Regulus wrote us to say you weren't coming home for the holiday, I assumed you'd be staying at school, not burdening the Potters," Orion said.

"I was invited," Sirius frowned.

"Come home with us. They've already got a son," Orion said.

"So do you," Sirius said, gesturing to his brother.

"Let me clarify, they've already got _one_ blood traitor of a son, no need for them to tend after ours as well," Orion said dryly. "Stop being so selfish for once in your pathetic life, Boy. Can't you see you're breaking your mother's heart?"

Walburga hadn't glanced their way once during the exchange.

"I can't break what isn't there," Sirius said.

"You watch your damn mouth and show your mother some respect!"

"Look, you guys don't want me home! All that's gonna happen is I'm going to have to listen to your archaic bigotries—"

Orion scoffed. "Oh, don't start _that_ shit again, you believe everything you read in the bloody Prophet!"

"—and I'll call you out on your shit—"

"You'll be an ungrateful brat, you mean—"

"—and we'll all fight and I'll end up at the Potters' anyway, so why not just skip all that until summer?"

"Why don't you just get your blood traitorous arse home and keep your mouth shut? You might learn something."

"Like _what?_ A new slur?" Sirius sneered. Their scowls were nearly mirror images.

"Like the fact that purebloods have been vilified for centuries but _mudbloods_ like to pretend they're oppressed as though there aren't dozens of laws in place to protect them from so-called discrimination."

"Merlin's—! Why do you think those ruddy laws exist!?"

"It's easier to turn purebloods into scapegoats and hold us back than acknowledge that perhaps _some_ wizards are just superior to others. I have half a mind to pull you out of that goddamn school. _Regulus_ knows how to think for himself. Where did we go wrong with _you?_ How did we end up with a parrot for that scum-sucking headmaster?"

"Think for _himself?_ Regulus? I think you mean he thinks what you want him to," Sirius rolled his eyes. Orion took Sirius by the jaw, forcing the boy to look him in the eye.

" _Regulus,_ has the sense to learn things for himself, to know when he's being fed propaganda and when someone tries to sell him lies. You could stand to be more like him, to find the _Slytherin_ in you."

Sirius gripped Orion's wrist, yanking his hand from his jaw. Fleamont, Euphemia, and James had cautiously been approaching, Fleamont's wand already out.

"I'm a Gryffindor," Sirius said. "The hat barely touched my head. I'm not the one that needs to re-evaluate how I'm thinking."

"You are _fifteen_ years old—"

"I'm sixteen," Sirius corrected.

"Like it makes a difference! You know _nothing_ about the world, nothing about life and you have _no_ ruddy room to tell _me_ to re-evaluate anything. You're going home. You're going straight to your room. You're taking that filth off the walls and, Merlin willing, you will shut the _hell_ up and you will like it," Orion said, each word stern and frightening.

"No," Sirius said.

Orion grabbed Sirius by the collar, yanking him closer.

"Orion!" Fleamont shouted. Several families had stopped to watch.

"I don't know how those _Potters_ let you speak to them, Boy, but you will show me some damn respect!"

"Orion, let him go," Euphemia said. "You're causing a scene."

"It's called discipline, Dear," Walburga said, finally acknowledging the ongoing disagreement between her eldest child and her husband. "Perhaps if _you_ practiced some, your son wouldn't constantly be dragging _mine_ into detention with him."

"I'm not going home with you," Sirius practically snarled, finally pulling away from Orion. Euphemia took him by the arm and hastily pulled him over to where Fleamont and James stood.

"He's more than welcome in _our_ home," Fleamont said.

"Isn't it bad enough you've filled your own son's head with filth, Potter?" Orion said.

"You're one to speak of filth," Fleamont quipped.

"I'm going with the Potters, I'll see you in the summer," Sirius said as Euphemia stepped protectively in front of him.

"We will take care of him," she said.

"Oh, I'm sure you will. Sirius has gotten worse and worse since meeting your boy and those half-breeds! He's an embarrassment! You'd think you'd have had enough of that!" Walburga said. "But there's not much further for you to sink, is there? You just want to make sure you drag as many purebloods as you can with you!"

"'Pureblood' isn't even a real thing!" Sirius said.

"You figure out where your loyalties lie, Boy!" Orion shouted. "Don't come crawling back to us when filth proves itself to be filth!"

And with his words echoing slightly through the platform, he was off, Regulus and Walburga close behind.

Sirius was already laughing when other families glanced his way and began whispering among themselves.

"Padfoot, are you okay?" James said cautiously.

" _I'm_ the embarrassment? _Me!?_ Okay then!" Sirius choked out through laughter. Euphemia pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair.

"You're not an embarrassment, you're a brilliant, kind, brave boy," she whispered to him as he continued to shake with laughter.


	25. Familiar Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday (to those of you that get the weekend off)! This was a long week, and I am looking forward to sleeping and working on my Halloween costume this weekend. Hope you guys are doing well, leave me a comment and let me know how you liked this chapter!

_"Service with a smile, Dear."_

* * *

It was quiet at the Potter Estate. James sat in the shed in the back yard, carefully tracing pencil lines on a roll of parchment with ink, glancing up every few moments as Sirius cursed at his beloved motorbike, which still refused to start up.

"I don't understand!" Sirius growled, grabbing for the manual and flipping through it again. "Everything matches the diagram!"

"Battery?" James asked, thinking back to the very basic lesson on muggle vehicles they had gone through in muggle studies.

"I charged it!" Sirius said, checking the connection. "The wires are in the right spot, I tightened everything…"

"Hmm…" James considered, lightly blowing on his ink lines to dry them. "Petrol?"

Sirius' face fell; he made a fist and slammed his head into it. "Petrol! Fucking  _petrol!_  The tank had a leak over the summer I had to fix, that's right."

"So there's just none in there?" James said.

"Not a drop," Sirius sighed.

"Well, we can go to a muggle town and get some tomorrow," James nodded.

"I need muggle money, I ran out," Sirius said.

"Gringotts, too, then," James said.

"I wish they had those machines muggles have where you put in a card and you can take money out of your account without going to the actual bank," Sirius said.

"My mum says a lot of muggle stuff's been suggested, but the wankers making the decisions are afraid of having their money involved with anything remotely muggle," James said.

"It's so stupid, muggles are just  _better_  at some things," Sirius said. "They make better music, they have those bank machines."

"They have those ring-y things! You know, Remus has one, his mum uses it to talk to people," James said, racking his brain for the name. They had a test on it not long ago in class.

"Telephones!" Sirius said. "They're cool, yeah, faster than owls. And their films, and that… box thing."

"TB, no… TV?" James said.

"TV!" Sirius said. "And this damn motorcycle, if I can get it to work."

"You'll figure it out," James said. "Eventually. Probably."

"Well, petrol will at least be a good start," Sirius said.

Euphemia appeared in the doorway of the shed, left open in case Sirius managed to be successful in starting his bike. Her cloak was wrapped tightly around herself, her wand lighting her way.

"Aren't you boys cold with the door open?" she said.

"Not really," James said, gesturing to a jar filled with warm, blue flames on the table.

"Well, come inside, your father said dinner's nearly ready," Euphemia said. Sirius and James gathered together the ink and parchment, along with their jar of fire before following her back to the house.

"Any luck with your motorbike?" Euphemia asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Not yet, I need petrol," Sirius said.

"Is that difficult to get?"

"No, there's stations all over," James said.

"Oh, good," Euphemia said as Fleamont levitated plates and silverware from the cupboard to the table. "Now, go wash up, you're both covered in… ink? Grease?"

"Yes, both of those things," James said, glancing at his ink-stained fingers as he and Sirius walked off to do as his mother asked.

"If I were any greasier, I'd turn into Snivellus right before your eyes," Sirius said, he and James snickering.

"The world doesn't need the one it's got," James said. "Imagine  _two."_

James set down the parchment and inks in his room, examining the half-finished cover of the map critically for a moment.

"It looks good," Sirius nodded.

"Yeah?"

"I tell you when your drawings look wonky," Sirius said.

It was true. James had attempted to draw one of the girls in Sirius' magazines the other day, only for him to lean over and declare that James had drawn her breasts lopsided.

Impressing Sirius meant he actually did a decent job.

"I think I'll put red ink there, around where we'll put 'The Marauder's Map,'" James said, pointing to the center of his drawing. "Our blood will blend in nice with it."

"Blood?" Sirius said as he headed to the bathroom they shared to finally actually wash up.

"Yeah, that's how you get those insults to work. Got to put a piece of ourselves in the map," James grinned. "Drop of blood from each of us."

"That's the kind of shit I lead MacPherson to believe I do as a worshiper of the devil," Sirius said. "And I am  _so_  into it."

* * *

I was quiet at the Evans residence, soft Christmas music playing as Mr. Evans fiddled with a model airplane and Mrs. Evans worked on needlepoint. The tree was lit and decorated. The fire was crackling.

There were four stockings above the fireplace, labeled "Fern," "Dudley," "Petunia," and "Lily."

Lily frowned every time she saw her sister's stocking, as Petunia would be absent this holiday, opting to spend it with her boyfriend's family.

She supposed she preferred the stocking being present rather than it being as absent as her sister. Although, either way, she was reminded of the fact that she hasn't seen Petunia since late June.

If nothing else, they wouldn't fight this Christmas. Petunia wouldn't mutter the word "freak" and give her the cold shoulder every time Hogwarts came up.

But there would be no laughing in embarrassment with her as their parents tunelessly sang  _Baby, It's Cold Outside_ to each other. Lily wouldn't have a chance to throw snowballs at Petunia throughout the visit until the older girl finally got fed up and an entire war was waged in their front yard.

"I'm, um. I'm going for a walk," Lily said, pulling on her coat. "See the decorations, clear my head."

"Be careful, Dear," Mrs. Evans said.

"Got your wand?" Mr. Evans said.

" _Dudley!_  You know she's not allowed."

"Damn the law, if someone tries to hurt you, turn them into a frog," Mr. Evans nodded.

"Frog's a bit cliché, maybe I'll go with a flea," Lily said. She forced a smile and pecked the side of his forehead before stepping outside.

It was snowing lightly, Lily's breath fogging before her as she stuffed her hands in her pockets and started down the street, going nowhere in particular. Occasionally a car would pass, the driver waving as they went. She would force a smile and wave back, this town small enough that everyone waved.

It was so  _quiet_.

She continued on, having arrived at Severus' street out of habit. She recalled riding her bike here when she was little, jumping off of it rather than stopping once she reached the Snapes' poorly-kept lawn and running across it to ring the bell and ask if Severus could come out to play.

Lily had done that so many times, it almost felt strange walking on this street rather than riding her mint-green bike with a basket in the front and streamers from the handles. Severus didn't have a bike, so he would balance on the back of hers, gripping her shoulders as she sped around the neighborhood and to the candy shop and to the park.

She wondered if they still had that bike somewhere.

She paused before the Snape residence, one of the few homes not decorated for the holiday. The lights were on inside, and when the girl listened carefully, she could hear the familiar, muffled sound of Tobias shouting. She couldn't make out quite what he was saying, and supposed that was for the best.

There was a reason that Severus was the one ringing her doorbell far more often than Lily ventured here as they got older. His parents used to be far more discreet. Now they were beyond the point of caring what the neighbors thought.

At least Severus was far away from it now, she supposed, as she continued walking, frown fixed to her face.

It wasn't long before she reached the park that she and Petunia would race to as children. Reaching forward, she brushed snow from the seat of her favorite swing before taking a seat. She wrapped her fingers around the cold chains and swayed half-heartedly, staring at her boots.

Petunia should be here. Severus should be here. She yearned for laughing so hard her sides hurt. She longed for competitions with Petunia to see who could swing higher.

She remembered trying to teach Severus to ice skate and the scowl he gave her when she presented him with a pair of Petunia's old skates to use. She smiled slightly at the memory of how distressed he'd been to find that they fit perfectly.

She remembered the year they sat by the fire as her father attempted to show Severus how to mend his ratty winter coat, having learned to sew in the army (where he never saw combat, but rather did quite a bit of paperwork). Severus said once he got to Hogwarts, he could just magic it fixed, and Mr. Evans simply smiled and said that a needle and thread should do in the meantime.

He still wore that coat, her father's stitches and patches still present. He'd grown into it now.

Lily knew she wasn't completely alone. She still had her parents, and it was nice having tea with her mother while her father worked on his models.

Still, she felt lonely. She wasn't sure why she missed Petunia so strongly, as it was clear from the previous Christmas that her older sister cared little for catching up or sparing her much time at all. Petunia had spent all her time on the phone, gossiping with her friends who, Lily later learned, had no idea Petunia even had a sister until the family had run into some of them at a picnic over the summer.

Surely this year would be no different if Petunia was present, and Lily's eyes teared up at the thought. She missed Petunia, the Petunia she knew when she was small, who kissed Lily's scraped elbow to make it better because Lily couldn't reach. She missed the Petunia that devised plans with her to steak cookies before dinner. She missed the Petunia who spent ages decorating her room and cooking pretend food for fancy pretend dinner parties with the prime minister, played by her most favorite stuffed giraffe. She missed the Petunia that snuck into her mother's vanity with her to smear makeup on their faces for this pretend dinner party.

The air felt even colder against her face as tears rolled down her cheeks, as she thought of all this, as she thought about the time when her sister liked her.

"What was I supposed to do, Tuney, not go to school?" Lily mumbled under her breath as she brushed her tears away. "Should I have passed up the chance to learn magic? I was eleven years old."

If that weren't enough, she hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye to Severus before boarding the train. She had given his Christmas gift to Dumbledore, asking if he would make sure it got to him, and the old man agreed.

She hated that the last thing she had said to him had been chastising during Slughorn's party. She didn't regret what she said, but she had hoped they would get to talk the next morning.

It had been so long since they properly spent time together. She feared the Severus she once knew would soon be long gone, along with the Petunia she once knew. Lily wiped at her eyes again, wondering what she could have done, what she  _should_ have done differently.

What if it kept happening? What if Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas all moved on to other things and hardly acknowledged she existed?

She didn't want that. She wanted Petunia back, she wanted Severus to stop avoiding her eye around his housemates. What did she have to do? Why was she so easy to replace with shallow girls glued to their telephones and sneering Slytherins determined to live up to the worst of their house stereotypes?

"Oh my  _gosh,_  I am  _so_  drunk!" came a giggling voice from a ways away, so shrill it cut right through Lily's thoughts.

Lily stood from the swing, creeping toward the nearby pine trees. She carefully moved the branches until she could see a small group of teenagers at a picnic table, passing a bottle of clear liquid around. A thin brunette danced sensually atop the table.

"You've had two drinks, lightweight!" one of the boys laughed before taking a swig from the bottle.

Lily recognized them. The boy with the bottle was Joey, a boy that used to eat crayons in primary school. The girl on the table was Tiffany, who was Lily's best friend at one point, then suddenly joined in with the taunting chants of  _"Ginger Jinx!"_  one week after meeting the new girl, Margaret.

Margaret was there too, seated beside Joey. She had grown into her nose since primary school. The last in the group was Benjamin, who cried when they were seven and Lily beat him in a race across the playground, claiming she had cheated somehow.

Benjamin still looked the same, just taller. Joey's jaw had gotten quite defined and he would almost be attractive if she could get the image of crayon in his teeth out of her head. Puberty had been kind to Margaret, not so much Tiffany, whose cheeks were speckled with acne scars and whose teeth were shimmering with painful-looking braces.

Lily hadn't thought of any of them in ages. The last time she saw Tiffany had been the summer after third year. The other girl acted as though she had never ditched Lily and called her names, hugging her and being friendly as ever. Lily had naively thought she had changed and attempted to spend time with her and Margaret at the mall.

It had ended with Lily tearfully catching the bus home by herself. People never changed the way you hoped they would. Some habits died hard, and taunting Lily's hair, clothes, and sex life (or lack thereof) had just been too tempting for them to resist.

And here Lily stood, an outsider looking in as this group of friends laughed, another sign that some things didn't change. She slowly set the branches back in place, wondering if there had ever been a time when she actually fit into the Muggle world.

She walked off, hoping her tears would dry before she got home, unwilling to explain all of this to her mother right now.

* * *

It was loud in the McKinnon household. Then again, it hadn't been very quiet ever since the birth of their second child, and now all five were home.

"So then he flies over to me and says, 'Hey, I'm pretty sure my arm isn't broken, it's just dislocated, you want to pop it back in for me?'" Marlene was saying to her older sister, Mallory, still in her healing uniform as the two sat on the couch.

Their parents were in the kitchen arguing about what the "proper" way to cook stuffing was, and had somehow dragged in Miles to mediate, who didn't know the first thing about stuffing. Max and Michael would occasionally yell at them to  _shut up_  as they were attempting to listen to a hockey match they had picked up on the radio, and took turns arguing over what exactly the rules were.

"Oh, Mar, you didn't?" Mallory cringed.

"We were in the middle of a close match and he's our best chaser!" Marlene said. "So, yeah, I kinda just…"

Marlene mimed shoving James' arm back into place. Mallory shook her head. "And he kept playing?"

"Yep. And we won, for the record."

"He could have really messed up his arm," Mallory sighed, shaking her head.

"For what it's worth, Promfrey said I put it right back into place and there was no fracture," said Marlene.

"He should be counting his blessings that us McKinnons are just natural healers," Mallory said.

"Didn't Max put you in a headlock when you first got here?" Marlene grinned.

"There are exceptions to every rule," Mallory said, glancing Max's way. Their brother made a face at them, to which they responded by sticking out their tongues and crossing their eyes.

"Besides," Marlene said as Max returned his attention to the radio and she and Mallory relaxed their faces, "James is probably not counting his blessings in regards to me either way."

"Oh no, did you break someone else's heart?" Mallory said in hushed tones.

" _Oooh,_ does Mar-Mar have a crush on the Quidditch captain?" Max cooed.

"James and Marlene, sitting in a tree," Michael sang.

"I do not have a crush on James, gross," Marlene said, gagging slightly. She took one of the throw pillows from the couch and pelted it at Michael's head.

"So defensive! What will Lily think of this crush?" Michael said, effortlessly catching the pillow.

"Lily?" Max asked.

"James has been trying to go out with her basically since we broke up," Michael shrugged. "You're not his  _type_ , Mar."

"Well yeah, if he's into Lily than he  _clearly_  has standards, like having a clue and not wearing eyeshadow that makes you look like you rubbed crayon all over your face," Max nodded.

"Shall we smother them?" Mallory asked Marlene, grabbing another throw pillow.

"I thought we were healers?" Marlene said, taking a pillow as well.

"Any good healer knows that some people just can't be helped, now, go!" Mallory said. She and Marlene jumped over the coffee table as Max and Michael scrambled to their feet in an attempt to escape their sisters.

Miles walked into the living room a moment later, a blur of blonde hair rushing by him as his sisters attacked his brothers with pillows, Marlene finally managing to tackle Max to the ground.

"You know what? I'm going back to the stuffing argument," Miles mumbled to himself, turning his heel and returning to the kitchen.

* * *

It was loud in the restaurant. The Christmas holiday was always busy at Diane's, full of the usuals and an inflated number of tourists. Wait staff glided around each other on skates with the skills of those that had seen their fair share of holiday rushes and had balanced multiple trays on those dreadful wheels before.

Table four had barely been cleared before another couple settled into the booth for dinner. Emmeline skated over, pen and pad at the ready, her memorized script at her tongue.

"Welcome to Diane's! My name is Emmeline, I'll be your server this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

Glancing up from her notepad, she paused slightly, watching the blonde woman eye her boyfriend with admiration.

Emmeline doubted Petunia would remember her. She had only met the older girl a handful of times and always briefly. But she knew it was her, it had to be.

Petunia and Lily didn't greatly resemble each other, but if Emmeline really looked, she found a similar nose, a similar complexion. Petunia's face shape was not all that different than Lily's, except perhaps that it was ever so slightly longer, stretched a bit. Petunia in general was stretched a bit, much taller than Lily.

Emmeline wasn't sure if Petunia's neck really was much longer than Lily's, or if Lily's haircut just hid it a bit better.

Petunia's eyes were blue, Lily's were a peculiar shade of green that was commented on rather frequently.

Lily definitely radiated a sort of warmth, and even as Petunia smiled lovingly at the plump man across from her, there was something about her that was just not approachable.

Emmeline briefly wondered if such comparisons were made when people met her and her mother.

"Are you listening?" the mustachioed man asked. When Emmeline's curious eyes darted from Petunia to him, she found nothing short of criticism in his face.

"A cream soda and a water," Emmeline said, scribbling on her note pad. "Coming right up."

The girl skated off to get their drinks, casting glances back their way as she did so.

Petunia didn't seem to be talking much, lightly stroking her boyfriend's large hand with her thin fingers, nodding along as he spoke with confidence.

They looked like a couple from a cartoon, she decided, with his stout frame and her elongated one. There was something about his posture, something about the way he talked, that made her think of characters designed to be villains, designed to be unlikable.

She returned to the table, gently setting their drinks down as he continued speaking.

"Thankfully Marge finally got rid of that hippie she was dating last year so we won't have to deal with him putting ideas of  _equal pay_  and such into her head this year. His hair was to his chin, a complete slacker, you should have seen it."

"I've never seen a single man look attractive with long hair," Petunia said. Emmeline could remember Lily mentioning taking a poster of David Cassidy from Petunia's room the summer before second year, featuring his shoulder-length locks.

"Hoodlums, the lot of them, it seems beyond their grasp to just  _get a job_  instead of sitting around complaining. The state of the world is just  _fine_ ," he continued, sliding his glass closer to him.

"Are you ready to order?" Emmeline asked.

"Service with a smile, Dear," he said, gesturing to Emmeline's mouth. Emmeline took a deep breath, wondering why exactly it mattered whether she was smiling while taking his dinner order and why it bothered him so much.

This was not the first time she had gotten this comment.

She forced a smile, making a note to call Lily later to relay what she could about this encounter, and asked again, "Are you ready to order?"

* * *

It was quiet in the Pettigrew's kitchen, Peter's mother humming tunelessly as she prepared dinner and Peter played a game of wizard chess against himself. The old grandfather clock that used to actually belong to Peter's grandfather ticked loudly from the next room, and Peter's eyes wandered from the chess board to the pictures on the wall of various family members.

"Mum?" he said.

"Yes, my love?" Susanne replied.

"What was dad like?" Peter asked, the man very obviously absent from the pictures. "You never really told me much. I know he's a muggle and he left, but…"

Susanne was silent for a moment, very slowly and meticulously chopping an onion by hand rather than with the wand sticking out of her apron pocket.

"Your father knew what he could handle, and when it became clear that an infant that showed signs of magic very early was not one of those things, he left," she said finally, turning to glance back at her son. "That's really all you need to know."

"But I mean, what was he like before that?" Peter asked.

"I thought he was loyal and kind, I thought he was a good man, but obviously none of that was true," she said, returning her attention to her cutting board. "Because no good man leaves a woman to raise a baby all by herself. We're just lucky my mother took us in until I could afford to get us this place. The only good thing that I ever got out of that man was you, my love."

"Okay," Peter nodded, glancing back at the photos again with a frown.

* * *

It was loud in the Meadowes living room as Dorcas' father and uncle shouted at a hockey match on the television and kept arguing about whether certain things were legal or not. Dorcas and Josh could hear them very well in the basement, where they had set up a game of wizard chess.

"So then he tried to mark me down for not writing more about the plot of the book, and I had to fight him about it because he never mentioned that in the rough draft I turned in," Josh said.

"Did he end up raising your grade?" Dorcas asked. "Pawn to F-5."

"Yeah. But the whole thing was so stupid anyway. You're lucky you don't have to do book reports at Hogwarts," Josh sighed. "Pawn to F-4."

"Yeah but you're less likely to be physically harmed by your schoolwork. Emmeline nearly set herself on fire in potions class two weeks ago," Dorcas shrugged.

"Oh, someone set the chemistry lab on fire in October," Josh said. "And by 'someone' I mean Rocco."

"Rocco  _would_ ," Dorcas said with a roll of the eye. "Rook to A-7. How's he doing, still alive?"

"Yep, he got suspended for the fire but he got back to school in plenty of time to almost set the chemistry lab on fire again before the holiday," Josh said. "How's the coven?"

Dorcas snorted, still not quite over the fact that her brother referred to her group of friends as that. "They're fine, when they're not having some kind of breakdown over a boy or something. I try to be supportive, but man, I don't  _get_  why they're so hung up on some of these boys."

"Are they all prats or something? Girls often like prats, I'm finding. Bishop to H-3."

"No, they're fine people to hang out with, I like them. Just not like that, you know? They don't do it for me," Dorcas shrugged. "Knight to C-6. And it's hard to think about boys with everything else going on. Exams and attacks…"

"Attacks?" Josh said, looking a mix of intrigue and concern.

"You can't tell mum and dad, okay? They'll just worry and there's nothing they can do," Dorcas said, glancing toward the staircase to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "But there's this… cult, I guess? Of dark wizards that hate everything muggle and think everyone should be 'pureblood' which basically means you don't have any muggle relatives."

"So they're like Wizard Nazis?" Josh said.

"Kind of, yeah. Thankfully their leader isn't in any real position of power, but there's been attacks every couple of weeks on muggles and muggle sympathizers," Dorcas said.

"Why are they so against muggles, then?" Josh asked, the chess game forgotten now.

"Because muggles and muggleborns are seen as less-than. Some of them actually think that muggleborns can only do magic because they stole it from someone else," Dorcas said with a roll of the eye.

"You've been making weird shit happen at least since you were three," Josh said.

"I know! And Lily's one of the top students in our class and she's a muggleborn. It has nothing to do with anything. But the more attacks there are outside of school, the shittier people inside school are," Dorcas said. "Like it justifies their shitty beliefs."

"People just want to feel superior to others without actually working at anything," Josh said. "Are you safe there, though?"

"At Hogwarts? Yeah, everyone's all talk," Dorcas said. "Don't stay up late worrying about me, Kid, you know my coven can hold our own."

* * *

It was quiet at the Lupin house. Remus skimmed through a comic book as his mother checked on a roast in the oven and his father fiddled with the dials on the radio, listening to no more than two seconds of each station before changing it again, indecisive.

"Hope!" Lyall said with a grin as Bing Crosby's voice crooned from a station he landed on.

"Our song!" she said, turning from the oven in time to see her husband bow to her dramatically and offer his hand. She giggled like a schoolgirl and took is hand, his other snaking around her waist as they effortlessly began to sway about the kitchen.

Remus watched with a small smile as his parents danced, having obviously been through these motions a number of times. They never once faltered, no one ever stepped on anyone's foot. Their eyes were fixed on each other's, mouthing along to the words as they went, like nothing else in the world existed or mattered.

It was nice.

He had been unable to stop thinking about what his friends had said on the train, and now, as his mother twirled while holding his father's hand, it was increasingly difficult not to think about their comments.

" _Okay, hypothetically, you're not a giant prat that's afraid of dating."_

" _I'm not afraid of it."_

" _If you dated, would you date Vance?"_

" _I—I don't know, it's irrelevant!"_

" _It's very relevant!"_

Remus had never thought about Emmeline that way before. She was a friend, a nice girl from class, someone to trade and talk about comic books with.

So why was it so easy to picture taking her hand in his and attempting to waltz to a song laced with static on the radio?

Emmeline with her bright blue eyes and lovely singing voice, her cute smile and the mole by the corner of her mouth.

Was she really sitting with her guitar and writing love songs? About  _him?_  It was difficult to wrap his mind around.

But he'd found himself thinking about sitting with her and reading comics, listening to music, her head on his shoulder. That wasn't difficult to wrap his mind around at all.

What was there not to like about her? Had he simply been unable to see what was right in front of him due to his apprehension about dating? Sirius was right; he was  _terrified_  of it.

But he wasn't terrified of Emmeline. He felt at ease around her. Maybe his friends were on to something?

The song came to an end and his parents shared a kiss, causing Remus to glance back down at his comic book with a slight frown. He was actually the only one of the Marauders that hadn't kissed a girl yet.

Sirius had kissed Brenda Fitzgerald from Hufflepuff in their first year, in what had been a week-long, laughable excuse for a "relationship."

James had kissed Marlene in their second year on a dare, throughout which Marlene could hardly stop giggling.

Peter and Gwen Watson had gotten particularly drunk after a Quidditch match and snogged in the corner of the common room the previous year. They occasionally joked about it now.

And Remus? A whole lot of nothing. He didn't date, so he certainly didn't go around kissing girls.

The image of Emmeline's red-painted lips was unusually clear in his mind.

He was afraid of dating, of getting close to someone that way, but it didn't mean that he didn't  _want_ to kiss someone, to feel the way that James felt when he'd go on and on about Lily, to smile the way his parents smiled when their song came on.

Would Emmeline be okay with the whole lycanthropy thing?

 _You don't even know if she likes you or if Padfoot and Prongs were just being idiots,_  Remus reminded himself, trying to shake all thoughts of the Ravenclaw from his mind.

It wasn't working.


	26. Risks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laaaate chapter. Why? Because I decided to add a scene to it and when I was halfway done with it, I closed it by accident and lost it. So, I had to start over. It was great fun and I don't want to die at all. Anyway, I hope this chapter is to your liking, please let me know what you think.

_"She's clearly a lovely lady."_

_"Does she have a name, then? Marlene, maybe?"_

* * *

"Sneakoscope," Mr. Evans read the box as he and his wife unwrapped their gift from their daughter this Christmas morning. It was snowing lightly outside and soft music was playing from the radio on the mantle.

"It's lovely, dear," Mrs. Evans said, leaning over her husband's shoulder to better examine the box. "Er, what is it for?"

"It alerts you to threats," Lily said, pointing to the side of the box, which listed all the features of this particular model. "If someone or something means to do you harm, it will make a great fuss to warn you about it."

"Oh, that seems useful," her father said, clearly humoring her as he turned the box over to read it.

"Lily, dear, surely you didn't need to get us this when the McKinnon boy already came by and put some spells on the house, did you?" Mrs. Evans said.

"The spells might not be enough, I just want to make sure that you two are safe is all," Lily said, knowing that her parents wouldn't be  _excited_  about the gift, though their reaction was lackluster all the same.

"Enough for  _what_  dear? Max was very vague when he came by to cast the spells," Mr. Evans said, eying his daughter in concern.

"He just said that there had been some robberies," Mrs. Evans said. "That some wizards were taking advantage of muggle households."

Lily bit her lip, fiddling with the sleeve of her pajamas.

"What aren't you telling us, Poppet?" Mr. Evans said.

Lily didn't suppose there was any way of getting out of this, of explaining why she was so concerned for their safety without giving proper reasoning. She took a deep breath.

"There have been attacks _,"_  Lily said, not looking them in the eye. "Attacks targeting muggles and muggle sympathizers. There's this group, called Death Eaters, and they're trying to send out this awful, disgusting, anti-muggle message to the magical community."

"What sort of attacks?" Mrs. Evan asked, eyes wide. Mr. Evans had set the sneakoscope's box down and Lily had his full attention.

"They're… well, um, you see, they're…" Lily said.

"They're killing them?" Mr. Evans provided. Lily nodded. Lily's mother covered her mouth in shock.

"How long has this been going on?" she demanded.

"A couple of years, the attacks have really picked up recently, though," Lily said. "They think he's gaining more followers—"

"Who?" Mr. Evans said.

"Lord Voldemort," Lily said. "We don't really say his name, it's sort of taboo. Most call him 'You-Know-Who.'"

Her parents exchanged looks. Lily swallowed, eyes darting between the two of them.

"So, this Lord Voldemort is gathering together a bunch of anti-muggle followers so that they can rush around killing muggles to make a point? And the attacks have become frequent enough that you felt it necessary to take precautions to protect us?" her father said.

"I mean. Basically," Lily nodded.

"Why didn't you tell us anything earlier?" Mrs. Evans said.

"I didn't want you to worry, there's nothing you can really do about it," Lily said. "But I can. That's why I got you the sneakoscope. That's why Marlene asked Max to cast the spells. It's not fool-proof but you're safer now."

"If we're not safe, surely you aren't safe," Mr. Evans said. "Maybe we ought to pull you out of that school."

"No!" Lily said immediately, eyes wide as she met her father's, the same shade of green.

"Well, Lily, if there are people that wish to do harm to 'muggle sympathizers' as you said, maybe your father is right, we can't in good conscience put you in that environment," Mrs. Evans said.

"Hogwarts is safe, I promise you, I'm safe there," Lily said desperately. "Look, no one really advertises who their relatives are unless they're wizards. Most of the school really doesn't know I'm muggleborn, I promise, and even at that, no one's going around killing students."

They were just going around carving symbols into desks and writing slurs on bathroom mirrors, but Lily wasn't about to tell her parents that.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans exchanged glances again.

"Please, don't pull me out of Hogwarts," Lily practically begged. "I'll be no use to you if I can't finish school—"

"You'll be no use to us  _dead_  either, Poppet," Mr. Evans said.

"Please, Dad, please. It won't prepare me any more for what's out there to stop going to school and pretend it's not happening. Don't pull me out, it's the only place I sort of belong.  _Please,"_  Lily said, eyes watering at the thought of never seeing the castle again. She never imagined that she'd be having this conversation after presenting her parents with something designed to keep them safe.

"Oh, Lily, don't cry. You are such a smart, beautiful girl, Hogwarts is not the only place you'll fit in," her mother cooed, moving to put an arm around her shoulder.

Her father sighed heavily. "I'm writing that headmaster of yours a letter," he said. "I want his word that you'll be safe."

Lily nodded. "Yes, yes! You'll get it!"

"You'll need an owl, Dear," her mother reminded him.

"I'll call Dorcas later to ask to borrow hers," Lily said.

"Fine," her father said, picking up the box for the sneakoscope again. "Show us how this thing works, then."

* * *

Sirius and James had disappeared into the shed again once Christmas morning had faded into Christmas afternoon, eager to have a go with the gifts that they had received.

"This thing is great!" James grinned as he twisted a pencil in the small, metal pencil sharpener that had come in the pencil case that Peter had sent him to go along with the sketchpad that Remus had sent. He had envied the one that Remus had for ages and was thrilled to have one of his own.

Not big on pencils in general, the wizarding world was not big on efficient ways to sharpen said pencils either.

"I'm happy for you, Mate," Sirius said, barely glancing up from the tools that James had gotten him for his motorcycle, having been making adjustments since they got to the shed. His leather jacket was lying across the seat, now adorned with a lion on the back, a patch sent by Remus.

"Think you'll finally be able to get that thing running?" James asked, now with a neat row of sharpened pencils and a pile of pencil shavings. He flipped through the book that Sirius had given him: a collection of artwork by Gil Elvgren, hoping to find something to copy for practice.

"I hope so, I feel like I'm doing her a disservice by leaving her in here all the time," Sirius said.

"'Her?'" James snorted.

"She's clearly a lovely lady," Sirius said, gesturing to the bike.

"Does she have a name, then?  _Marlene_ , maybe?" James teased.

Sirius groaned. "Definitely not that."

"You don't know, maybe Marlene would get all flattered and change her mind about you if you name your bike that," James said.

"This line of thinking is why Evans will never date you, that's not how girls work," Sirius said. "If anything, she'd think 'Wow, what a creep. I explicitly told him that I don't want to date him and he named his motorcycle after me? Time to get a restraining order.'"

"You can't take a joke when it comes to her, can you?" James sighed.

"Nothing's too funny anymore in regards to dear McKinnon," Sirius scowled.

"We still gotta prank her for that, any ideas?" James asked, hoping to steer the conversation into a lighter place.

"Something that'll ruin her post-practice showers, I'd think," Sirius said, setting the tools aside and standing upright.

"Good call. We could dye her like the Slytherins but I'd hate to repeat a prank, especially so soon…" James said thoughtfully. His eyes lit up when he turned the page in his book and held it up to show Sirius. "Look at this one."

"You're a cliché," Sirius sighed, pulling on his jacket. The image on that page was of a curvy redhead, seated on a bed.

"I am not," James said. "I just… have a type, I guess."

"Yeah, a type named 'Lily Evans,'" Sirius said, climbing on the motorcycle and attempting to start it yet again.

James was already lightly sketching out the pin-up as Sirius tried and failed to start the motorcycle. Another try, another fail, and James' pencil slid around the paper in an attempt to gesture out the basic shape of the woman.

His head shot upward, however, when the motorcycle's engine roared to life, Sirius grinning from ear to ear.

"You started it!" James said.

"I started it!" Sirius repeated, practically cheering. He revved the engine a few times, the noise entirely satisfying.

"So, er, do you even know how to—?" James started, unable to finish his inquiry before Sirius darted out of the open door to the shed at such great speeds that the boy was almost thrown from the vehicle.

James stood from the table, his drawing supplies forgotten, and rushed out of the shed, finding both Sirius and the motorcycle on their sides in a pile of snow in the garden.

"It works!" Sirius cheered, fumbling to get back to his feet and prop the motorcycle back upright.

"You know people die on those, right?" James grinned.

"I'm resilient," Sirius said, climbing back on the bike and taking off again, this time with much more success as he followed the path around the estate.

"Did he get it working finally?" Fleamont said, he and Euphemia now standing on the back porch, having come out to investigate as soon as they heard the noise of the engine.

"Sirius! Sirius, you be careful!" Euphemia called after Sirius as he made a tight turn around an ice-covered fountain. "You're going awfully fast!"

Sirius skidded to a stop near James, coating him in slush as he did.

"Really!?" James groaned, pulling off his glasses and trying to wipe off the snow.

"Sorry, Prongs," Sirius said, still grinning. Euphemia was already at James' side, wand out to dry him off.

"How does this thing work, then?" Fleamont was asking Sirius, who dove right into an excited explanation, gesturing to different parts of the bike.

"There you are, Love," Euphemia said as soon as she had successfully dried off her son. She glanced up in time to see her husband darting off on the motorcycle, letting out a cheerful yell as he did so. She sighed heavily. "Fleamont! Oi! Don't hurt yourself, you git!"

"He's doing great," Sirius said.

"Well he's already made it longer than you did without crashing," James smirked as his father took the motorcycle around in circles, cheering the whole way.

"This is great fun! 'Phemia, you have to try!" Fleamont called, still going in circles.

"Not if that's all it is, you're making me dizzy!" Euphemia called, unable to hide her grin. Fleamont managed to stop the motorcycle in front of them without sending slush everywhere and gestured for Euphemia to get on the seat behind him.

"Can two people go on at once?" Euphemia asked Sirius.

"Oh yeah," Sirius nodded. Euphemia eyed the bike critically before adjusting her skirt and cautiously climbing on behind Fleamont, sliding her arms around his waist.

"Not too f—!" she started before Fleamont was taking off. She let out a small shriek, her grip tightening on the man. He drove her around the snow-coated hedges, down the length of the property.

"You better not get our parents killed," James said to Sirius, cringing slightly as his father took a turn rather sharply and the bike skidded slightly. Thankfully, Fleamont managed to recover and appeared to be laughing the whole way.

"They'll be fine," Sirius said.

"They'd better be, or we'll have to move in with yours," James sighed, his mother shrieking slightly as his father insisted on going around in circles again.

"Stop it, I told you, I'm getting dizzy!" she called out.

"You're no fun!" Fleamont called back, taking off in a less curvy path on the way back to the boys. "I should have married a Gryffindor!"

"Ha! If you hadn't married a Ravenclaw, you'd be dead by now!" Euphemia said.

Fleamont slowed to a stop in front of the boys and glanced over his shoulder at his wife, still clinging tightly to his torso. "Yes, I suppose that's probably true."

"My Gryffindor boys are going to be the death of  _me_  on the other hand," Euphemia said, kissing his cheek before letting go and climbing off the bike.

"It was fun, though, right?" Fleamont grinned, climbing off the bike as well.

"Yes, yes, when you weren't trying to make me vomit," Euphemia said with a slight roll of the eye as Sirius settled back on the bike. "You be  _careful_  on that, okay? Don't hurt yourself."

"I will," Sirius nodded. He gestured for James to get on, the only one that hadn't yet. James eyed the bike in much the same manner his mother had earlier.

"I'm way more comfortable with a broom," James said hesitantly.

"Come on, Wanker," Sirius taunted. That's all it took. James rolled his eyes and walked over, barely taking a seat before Sirius took off.

After making sure that he wasn't about to fall off thanks to Sirius' haste, James set a hand to each of his friend's shoulders, watching the garden zip by as the cold air stung their faces.

It was like being on a broom, but with far more weight. The motorcycle didn't turn as smoothly as a broom, but the machine roared beneath them with power that a broom could never possess.

"Okay, I think I understand it," James grinned as they leaned into a turn and Sirius let out another excited holler.

* * *

The yellow telephone on the wall rang shrilly. The family was watching some stop motion special in the living room, so it wasn't until the telephone rang a third time that Josh set the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?" he said.

" _Hi, Mr. Meadowes, is Dorcas available? It's Lily Evans."_

" _Mr. Meadowes?_  Since when are we on such formal terms,  _Miss Evans?"_

" _Josh!? Oh, wow, we didn't get to talk at the train station, your voice has changed so much! Sorry about that."_

"You're fine," Josh said, amused.

" _Is Dorcas there?"_

"Yeah, one second," Josh said, he moved the receiver from his face before calling into the next room. "Oi! Dorcas! Part of your coven on the phone!"

Dorcas walked into the kitchen a moment later, cocking a brow. "Which one?"

"Lily," he said, handing her the receiver before heading back to the living room where he would no doubt take the place on the armchair that Dorcas had just vacated.

Prat.

"Hello Lily, Happy Christmas," Dorcas said, taking a seat atop the counter and setting the receiver to her ear.

" _Happy Christmas, Dorcas,"_  Lily replied.  _"How's yours been?"_

"Oh, the usual. My gran sent me something I'd never wear, Dad forgot I don't like walnuts, Mum forgot to turn the oven on so the rolls didn't bake," Dorcas said cheerfully. "What about you?"

" _Well, I gave my parents the sneakoscope,"_  Lily said, sounding somewhat exhausted as she relayed this information.

"Did it not go well?"

" _Not really. I wound up telling them about all the attacks recently."_

"Oh, no," Dorcas cringed. She wondered if Mr. And Mrs. Evans would tell  _her_  parents.

" _Yeah. They were talking about pulling me out of Hogwarts."_

"No!" Dorcas said at once. "That isn't an option, you can't leave school!"

" _I know."_

Dorcas lowered her voice, eyeing the walkway to the living room as she did. "This is part of why I haven't told  _my_  parents what's going on, they'd probably say the same thing. I mean, we can't just…  _stop_  going to Hogwarts. What options will we have then? We need our education and it's not like we can go back to muggle school after five years worth of spells and potions, you know? I don't know anything about geometry, I haven't read anything by George Orwell."

" _Exactly! And we can't get decent work in the wizard world with even just OWL scores, they want NEWTs. Leaving Hogwarts is just…"_

"It's cancelling any chance we have. And I mean, it's hard enough as it is, being taken seriously, there's so much stacked against us. I'm black, we're both muggleborn, we're women, we can't have missed out on finishing school on top of all that. What future will that leave us?"

" _I know. It's all rubbish. And I get that they want to keep me safe but I don't think I could handle not going to Hogwarts. I don't belong here, in the muggle world."_

"It's so… heavy, I guess. Because I hear what you're saying, I don't feel like I totally belong here either, and it doesn't help that it's like every time I come back from school, so much has changed. But then you have people in the magic world that want us dead because we're not 'magic enough' or something, so where exactly  _should_  we be at that point?"

" _We belong at Hogwarts. Like anyone with magic parents do. Those wankers will have to learn to deal with it."_

Dorcas smiled. "I told you, continuing to go to school while simultaneously being muggleborn is like spiritually punching You-Know-Who in the face."

" _I'm really feeling that way right now,"_  Lily said with a slight laugh.  _"But my dad wants to write to Dumbledore, to really make sure that I'll be safe at school. Dumbledore is usually pretty good at easing their concerns, but we need an owl. Do you suppose Bubba would be willing to make the trip?"_

"Yeah, I'm sure he will, I'll send him your way once he gets back from hunting," Dorcas said. "Maybe mention to your parents that Dumbledore's already defeated one dark wizard before, so it would be incredibly stupid for another one to try to attack Hogwarts while he's headmaster."

" _That's a good point, I'll see if I can bring it up without starting the whole discussion about whether I should go back to Hogwarts or not again."_

"Good luck with that."

" _Thanks. And thanks for letting me borrow Bubba, too."_

"No problem, he really doesn't work as much as most owls, the lazy bum."

" _I really want a cat but perhaps I should invest in an owl."_

"Or Hogwarts could just get a damn telephone, this is  _so_  much easier," Dorcas sighed.

" _Right? I love magic but get with the times! It's 1975, there are phones!"_

"At least we got Petunia's old record player to work if nothing else."

" _Emmeline called the other day, I guess Tuney went by the restaurant with her boyfriend."_

"Oh yeah? What wait staff horror stories did she have to share this time?" Dorcas said. Emmeline's stories were enough to convince the girl that there was no part of her that wanted to work in a restaurant.

" _I guess Tuney's boyfriend is a real piece of work. I know my parents weren't too sure what to think of him when they met him. Em said that every time she came by the table he was saying something else awful."_

"Awful like what?"

" _Stuff like equal pay not being an issue—"_

"Oh come  _on."_

"— _Telling Emmeline she should smile more—"_

"I hate when guys do that, and it's usually always guys I don't know?"

"— _saying the woman at his firm was a bitch for turning down one of his ideas and said she must have been on her period—"_

"This guy is awful."

"— _and apparently my sister_ agreed _with him—"_

"Petunia, no!"

"— _apparently he thinks women only take birth control pills on the days they're having sex—"_

"Merlin's beard, I hate men—and how did they get into this discussion at dinner?"

"— _And he seemed frustrated when Petunia told him that's not how it worked and made some kind of comment about sluts anyway?—"_

"She's found herself a real winner."

"— _then he was talking about when Petunia 'quits her job to become a mother.' I wasn't aware that was the plan?—"_

"I mean does that seem like a Petunia thing to do or?"

" _Emmeline said that Petunia didn't get a lot of words in edgewise. I don't know, I guess I can see Petunia being happy as a homemaker, she always loved playing house and stuff… but I don't know, she was so excited to go to London and take this typing course, I guess I thought she'd want to do more with it?"_

"I don't know, to each her own I guess, it feels like a waste otherwise to learn a skill and not use it."

" _I guess. But maybe she was just hoping to meet someone. Em said that when he wasn't making weird comments like that, he was talking about spreadsheets or his golf buddies."_

"Sounds exciting," Dorcas said sarcastically.

" _I hate to say it but he sounds just like her type."_

"Say hello to the future father of your nieces and nephews, then."

" _Oh Merlin, family gatherings would be so weird."_

"Petunia and her ignorant husband, you and James—"

" _I am not marrying him!"_

Dorcas giggled. "But just picture James trying to hold a conversation with Petunia and tell me that shit's not funny."

" _She would_  hate _him. So I guess it would even out."_

"You and your sister would have something in common again!"

" _That's true."_

"I'm sorry your sister is dating someone that alternates between being boring and being an idiot."

" _So am I. I'm hoping maybe Em was exaggerating and whenever I finally meet him, he won't be that bad… or that maybe this relationship won't last very long."_

"She does exaggerate sometimes, so, maybe," Dorcas said, though she knew full well that Emmeline mostly exaggerated when it came to her own woes, not those of others.

She was sure that Lily probably knew that too.

" _Yeah. Maybe. Anyway, I've got to go, I'll talk to you soon?"_

"Absolutely. I'll send Bubba over tonight. Good luck with everything."

" _Thanks, I think I'll need it."_

* * *

It was the twenty-eighth of December, and as Lily wrote out another paragraph for her transfiguration homework, she mentally reminded herself that she ought to call Emmeline later and wish her a Happy Birthday. The previous year, Lily had gotten so caught up trying to talk to Petunia, that it wasn't until her head hit the pillow that night that she remembered with a jolt that it was her dear friend's birthday.

She did  _not_  want a repeat this year. She would call Emmeline in a timely manner once this essay was satisfactorily completed.

The doorbell rang.

Lily glanced up at the sound. Her mother and father were currently battling with the washing machine in the back room. With a sigh, Lily set her pen aside and tucked her essay into her textbook as she called, "I'll get it."

Strolling through the sitting room, Lily stood on the tips of her toes and glanced out the peep hole.

She gasped.

The man outside, distorted slightly through the glass, had a crooked nose and a beard long enough to tuck into his belt. He seemed to be examining the wreath hanging on the door and appeared to be humming a tune to himself.

He hadn't bothered with any muggle disguises. He wore robes of a deep purple, and a thick traveling cloak.

Lily unlocked the door and pulled it open. "Professor Dumbledore! What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said pleasantly. "I received your parents' owl and thought I'd answer in person, if that's all right."

The redhead watched him a moment, still surprised that he was there at all and barely comprehending that he would come by to speak with her parents in the flesh rather than just writing a letter back. Finally, she said, "Oh, yes! Professor, thank you. Please, come in."

She stepped aside and Dumbledore strode in. Lily was glad that she had recently vacuumed and helped her mother dust, or her parents would be quite upset with her for inviting company in to a disheveled sitting room.

"Mum! Dad! Professor Dumbledore is here!" Lily called as she closed the door. She could hear the faint thudding of the bouncing and protesting washing machine and received no response. They must not be able to hear her. She turned back to Dumbledore, who was examining the photos on the wall. Should she offer him a seat? Tea? They had started a kettle before he arrived. What did one do when their headmaster strolled up to their front door?

For a moment, she tried to channel Petunia, tried to remember her playing hostess for the stuffed animals in their youth.

"Er, Professor, if you'd like to take a seat, I'll go fetch my parents," Lily said, gesturing to the nearby arm chair. "Would, um, would you like some tea?"

"That would be lovely, Miss Evans, thank you," Dumbledore said, settling down in the arm chair. Lily scurried off to the laundry room.

Once inside, she found her parents panting heavily but looking triumphant, duct tape covering much of the surface of the washing machine. It was no longer bouncing, though it was still quite loud.

"Who was at the door, Poppet?" her father asked.

"Professor Dumbledore," Lily said. "He's in the sitting room, he's come to talk to you two."

Her parents' eyes widened in surprise and they exchanged glances. Lily's mother quickly ran her fingers through her hair and reached to fix her husband's collar. After a few moments more of fussing, they left the laundry room to go introduce themselves to Dumbledore.

Lily rushed to the kitchen, fumbling with tea cups and sugar. It was almost painful, how much longer it took to do things the muggle way. By the time she had gathered everything together and set it on a tray to carry back to the sitting room, her parents and Dumbledore were already in conversation.

"...really quite a talented student, her professors have nothing but good things to say, you should be proud," Dumbledore was saying. Lily set the tray on the coffee table and Dumbledore helped himself to a cup.

"Oh, we are!" Mrs. Evans said as Lily settled between her parents on the sofa. She noted that they looked to be a bit in awe of Dumbledore, and she understood. Whenever one thought "wizard," something like Dumbledore was surely what they imagined. He looked like he came straight out of a storybook.

"A witch in the family! I wish we were allowed to brag about it every time the neighbor goes on about his son on the football team.  _My_  daughter can concoct a cure for the common cold!" Mr. Evans said, patting Lily affectionately on the shoulder. She felt her cheeks burn red.

"And a prefect, too! We're really so proud of her, you have no idea," Mrs. Evans added.

"Sir," Lily asked, feeling somewhat awkward that the current subject seemed to be praise in her direction. "Did you happen to send Bubba home?"

"Is that the grumpy owl that delivered the letter? He belongs to Miss Meadowes, I believe?" Dumbledore asked. Lily nodded. Dumbledore smiled. "Ah. Yes, he left shortly after giving me the letter. Acted as though I had offended him greatly by being the recipient. I imagine he went home."

"I'll call Dorcas later to make sure," Lily said, suddenly remembering yet again that she needed to call Emmeline.

"On the subject of the letter," Dumbledore said, and Lily set her teacup down, her hands beginning to tremble slightly. "It is, of course, your prerogative to take your daughter out of school. You would not be the first, nor the last, to choose to do so. As you wrote to me with your concerns, however, I assume you would like my opinion and I must say that I believe it would be a terrible idea."

"We understand that her education is important," Mrs. Evans said, absent-mindedly stirring her tea. "We're just afraid for her  _safety._ "

"Like we said in the letter, Lily told us about, er, what did you call him, Poppet?" Mr. Evans said, glancing Lily's way.

"Lord _—_ I mean, You-Know _—_ " Lily started.

"Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore said. "Do not shy away from saying his name, Miss Evans. Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself. I, for one, do not intend to give Voldemort such power."

Even her parents seemed to realize by that simple statement just how brave the old man sipping tea before them was.

"I share your concerns," he continued. "And I can promise you that I have and will continue to do everything in my power to keep my students safe. The school is protected by a number of enchantments. Shield charms and the like."

"Lily had said that you defeated another dark wizard before," Mrs. Evans said.

Dumbledore's face fell slightly, but he recovered quite quickly. "I will not pretend that the situation with Lord Voldemort is the same as the situation with Gellert Grindelwald. Do I have experience with dark wizards? Yes. I have advised many a minister for magic, and I am the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot."

"The wizard high court," Lily informed her parents before they could ask.

"Indeed," Dumbledore nodded. "My staff is quite competent as well. I'm sure Miss Evans has told you of her head of house and my deputy headmistress, Minerva McGonagall. I do believe one of Lily's classmates occasionally calls her 'Hurricane Minerva.'"

Lily rolled her eyes at the thought of Sirius Black.

"She is a force to be reckoned with," Dumbledore said. "I'd fear more for the wizard foolish enough to challenge her, and she is but  _one_  member of my staff. Professor Flitwick is a dueling champion. There is a whole town of wizards nearby. It would be incredibly risky to attack Hogwarts, and I do not believe Voldemort is in the position right now to do so."

"But he could be in the future?" Mr. Evans said.

"Anything is possible, but for the time being, I very much doubt it," Dumbledore said.

"So, you truly believe that Lily will be safe there?" Mrs. Evans said.

"I do," Dumbledore nodded.

"Can you guarantee it?" Mr. Evans said.

Dumbledore took another sip of tea. "No. But I can guarantee that she is safer at Hogwarts than she would be elsewhere."

Lily eyed her parents expectantly. They were glancing at each other with frowns fixed to their faces.

"Fine," Mrs. Evans said. Mr. Evans nodded, but slightly. "You can go back to school."


	27. I Solemnly Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a good Halloween! A little girl dressed as a vampire told me I was pretty and made my week. Our cast is back at Hogwarts now, and I've got some more shenanigans planned for their new term. Let me know what you think of this one!

_His hazel eyes lit up and he ruffled his hair, giving Lily a smile that she was sure he thought was charming. She thought it was obnoxious._

* * *

Students had climbed back on the train (Remus practically clobbering Sirius, James, and Peter with the new suitcase they had gotten him for Christmas, with the name "Professor R.J. Lupin" printed on it) and returned to school a week prior. One pin-up calendar gifted from Sirius was taken down and replaced with another pin-up calendar gifted by Sirius. Bodies sleepily returned to classrooms and the new term was officially underway.

Today was the first Friday of term, which just so happened to be Severus Snape's birthday. Unwilling to let this day pass in peace, the Marauders had set up a few gifts for their least favorite Slytherin.

First, when Severus took a drink of his morning tea, he soon found that his entire mouth was coated black, and everything he ate tasted bitter. The Marauders, who had shown up late for breakfast, insisted they all overslept and had no idea how that happened.

Having no proof, there was no punishment, and James and Sirius smirked with the same intensity that Severus sneered.

Next, in History of Magic, Severus was annoyed to find that absolutely none of his books would open. After several failed attempts, Severus resigned himself to simply taking notes, and found that none of his quills would hold any ink.

Lily loaned him a spare, which thankfully worked.

By the time lunch rolled around, Severus seemed to have relaxed, seemed to have assumed that would be the end of it for the day. This was when he found himself unable to set his goblet down, the cup stuck to his palm. Emma Vanity tried about five spells before his hand was released and he headed to his next class late.

When classes ended, Severus was coated from head to toe in glitter, and several candles sat stuck in his hair. Every time he put them out, they simply re-lit, and wax dripped mockingly down his forehead.

The joy James felt in this was short-lived however, as he stood watching Severus across the entrance hall, sitting on a bench as Lily fussed over him, wand in hand, using every counter-curse she could to free him of his waxy, glittery, flammable trap. She kept giggling, joking with him as she went.

"C'mon, Prongs, what's the hold-up?" Sirius said, leaning inside from one of the great doors leading out to the grounds. Remus and Peter were already outside. They had promised Hagrid that they would finally stop by to have tea with him after weeks and weeks of not being able to due to detentions, study groups, homework, Quidditch practice, or prefect duties.

Sirius followed James' gaze and saw Lily and Severus, who were completely unaware of the Marauders watching them.

"This was not supposed to happen, Padfoot, this was not supposed to set up  _quality time_  between the two of them or something," James scowled.

"Come on, sulk about it on the way," Sirius said, jerking his head in the direction of the grounds. James sighed heavily before following Sirius outside, picking up their pace a bit to catch up with Remus and Peter.

Peter was carrying a chocolate cake they had picked up from the kitchens, as James had realized ages ago that if they brought a cake along, they didn't have to pretend to eat the rock cakes that Hagrid always served when he made tea.

It also helped them appear to be thoughtful guests, which somewhat eased the guilt of not being able to properly visit in so long.

Tea and cakes were not on James' mind at this present moment, however.

"I don't even understand why she's  _friends_  with the git, there's nothing redeeming about him," he was saying.

"They've known each other since they were little kids, yeah? Stockholm Syndrome, maybe," Sirius shrugged, sounding bored.

"I mean, is that what she likes?  _Grease?"_  James said.

"It's not like they're dating," Remus said, wand out and melting snow as they walked to form a path.

"Yeah, well he sure would like that to change," James mumbled.

Peter was struggling to burrow deeper into his scarf while his hands were full with the cake. "Yeah, but I mean, if she doesn't want to date him then that doesn't really matter right?"

"But she's friends with him. How far of a leap is it from dating to friends?" James said, looking slightly nauseous at the thought.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Right, Prongs, I can't even count the number of times I've almost started dating  _you_  by mistake. I mean our friendship is so strong and all."

"That's not what I meant!"

"No one's lining up to date Snivellus," Peter said. "And I say that as someone that no one is lining up to date."

"Yeah, if Evans wanted to date him, surely she would have by now? You have this crisis about once every couple of months, they're still not dating," Sirius said.

"And, I mean, it wouldn't change the fact that she doesn't want to date  _you_ ," Remus said. James sighed heavily again.

"But the fact that our pranks are what's got her fawning and giggling over him is  _so_ —" James said.

"Ironic?" Peter said.

"Is that a proper use of irony?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not sure. I think it would be ironic if the goal of the pranks was to make Snape less appealing to Lily rather than to just harass Snape," Remus said.

"Thanks for the English lesson, then," James grumbled as they approached the door to Hagrid's hut and Remus swiftly knocked.

Muffled barks could be heard from the other side, as well as heavy footsteps. The door swung open and a grinning Hagrid stepped aside to let them in, holding on to the collar of his bloodhound, Spike.

"'Bout time! Nice ter see ye boys!" Hagrid said as they took out their wands and melted the snow on their shoes before stepping inside.

"You too, Hagrid, we brought cake!" Peter said, setting said cake down on the table next to the kettle.

"Aw, ye didn' have ter do that," Hagrid said, closing the door once they were all inside. Remus, James, and Peter each took a seat at Hagrid's table. Sirius plopped down on the floor nearby, scratching behind Spike's ears as the dog enthusiastically sniffed around his face.

"I missed you too, Spike, I missed you too," Sirius said to the dog.

"How was yer first week back?" Hagrid asked as he started pouring tea into mugs for all of them. Remus carefully pried the cover off of the cake so that he could properly slice it.

"Well, MacPherson is officially afraid of Sirius now," Peter said.

"What did ye do to 'im?" Hagrid said, glancing at Sirius, still on the floor, Spike now licking his face affectionately.

" _Well,_  James and I may have drawn sort-of occult symbols all around his office to make it look like someone had performed some kind of ritual there before we went home for the holiday," Sirius said innocently.

"And then Sirius might have made a show of spilling his bag in class after stuffing it with candles, animal skulls, and a dagger," Remus said. "Where did you get those skulls, by the way?"

"Oh, those are plastic, Muggles use them to decorate for Halloween, they're not even anatomically accurate," Sirius said. "Anyway if he had taken ancient runes he'd know that I mostly just wrote numbers all around his office, it doesn't mean anything."

"You're just lucky you didn't get detention for the dagger," Remus said.

"I think MacPherson was trying to give him detention but got scared and just pretended none of it happened," Peter shrugged.

"Now ye all know I don't think ye should be pranking yer professors," Hagrid said, his voice as stern as he could manage. "That bein' said, if I have to listen to 'im talk about that ruddy play he was an extra in  _three years ago_  one more time, I'm gonna have to tear up that playbill o' his so I can shove the pages in my ears."

"He went on a tangent about that the week before the holiday," Remus cringed. "We don't learn  _anything_  in that class."

"Well, it's a good thing yer around then, eh?" Hagrid said proudly, ruffling up Remus' hair. "Got our own professor in the making."

"I just want everyone to pass their O.W.L.s," Remus said bashfully.

"Professor Lupin!" Sirius said tauntingly, reaching for the surface of the table and blindly feeling around for his mug. Spike was now sprawled out on his lap. Peter lifted the mug and handed it to Sirius.

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus sighed.

"Yer awfully quiet, James," Hagrid observed. James had barely touched his cake or his mug, eyes fixed to the fireplace in thought.

"Hm?" he said.

"He's having an Evans crisis again," Sirius said, lightly blowing on his tea as he rubbed the bloodhound's belly.

"I'm not having a  _crisis!"_  James groaned.

The others exchanged glances.

"I'm not!" James repeated.

"What happened?" Hagrid asked.

"We passed Lily hanging out with Snape on our way out here," Remus said.

"Ah," Hagrid said, brushing crumbs from his beard. "Like yer rivalry wasn't bad enough, gotta be after the same girl."

"See! Hagrid thinks he likes her too!" James said, gesturing to Hagrid.

"We never said we didn't agree," Sirius said.

Peter nodded. "We said Evans doesn't want to date either of you."

"Lily is a fine girl, but she isn' the only one," Hagrid said. "What about Marlene? She's on the Quidditch team with ye."

Sirius winced at the mention of Marlene. The others shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, probably not Marlene," James said.

"What happened there?" Hagrid said.

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius mumbled.

"Ah," Hagrid said, as though Sirius being involved explained everything.

"Er, you going to the Quidditch game tomorrow, Hagrid?" Remus said, changing the subject.

"Ye know me, I'd never miss a good game of Quidditch," Hagrid grinned. "A couple of the teachers have got some bets going, I've got five galleons on Ravenclaw."

"I don't know, Meadows is a fair keeper," Peter said. "I'm putting my money on Hufflepuff."

"Yeah, but Ravenclaw has better chasers overall," Sirius said.

"Hufflepuff booked more practice time this week," James said.

"Em said Ravenclaw's team has been strategizing nonstop between classes and late into the night, though, they apparently have a permanent set-up in their common room," Remus said.

"You can know everything there is to know about Quidditch and that won't make you a good player," Peter countered.

"It all comes down to the snitch anyway," Remus shrugged.

"Not every time," James said. "It should be a decent match, though, glad I get to watch this time."

* * *

" _I hate essays, essays are so dumb. I hate essays, essays are no fun,"_  Marlene sang as she followed Lily through the portrait hole so that they might find a place to sit and start Slughorn's latest assignment.

"Maybe you should leave the songwriting to Emmeline," Lily snickered.

"We don't know if she's any good! She only sang like two lines to us once," Marlene sighed.

"And those two lines were better than your two lines," Lily pointed out.

"Stop stifling my creativity!" Marlene said dramatically.

"Are these seats taken?" Lily asked Benjamin Burke, a tall seventh year that was sitting at a table between two empty seats and Frank Longbottom.

"Go ahead," Benjamin said, glancing up briefly from his star chart and offering them a kind smile. Marlene hastily plopped down in the chair directly beside him.

"I notice Alice isn't here," Lily said to Frank as she settled down and pulled out her potions book.

Frank glanced up from his transfiguration notes and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, she's working in the library. We've learned rather quickly that we can't do homework together."

"They always end up studying anatomy instead," Benjamin mumbled to Lily and Marlene. Frank turned red. The girls snickered.

"We just—it's not—I mean—we get distracted, is all," Frank stuttered.

"I, for one, will rest easy knowing that someone so easily distracted is going to be hunting dark wizards for us," Lily teased.

"As long as said dark wizards don't have breasts then he should be fine," Benjamin grinned.

Frank could not possibly turn redder. "I—I am not—I am capable of—I don't—!"

"We're just teasing, you guys are cute," Lily said.

"So cute, but also you  _can_  sound-proof the curtains around the bed, you know," Benjamin said.

"You know, I think I left my transfiguration book in the dorm," Frank said, standing up so suddenly that he nearly knocked his chair over.

Marlene pointed to the book he was stacking his notes on top of. "Isn't that it?"

"Nope, different one, see you!" Frank said, piling his things in his arms before dashing off.

"Aw, I didn't mean to embarrass him  _that_  bad," Benjamin said, smirking. Lily's mind began to wander. If Benjamin was requesting silencing charms…

Were Alice and Frank just enthusiastic with their snogging, or had they moved beyond that? Her eyes darted to Marlene for a moment. Were  _all_  her friends going to go off and start having sex?

 _Alice might not have at all, and it's none of my business either way,_  Lily thought, though curiosity was still prodding at her.

Marlene was now eying Benjamin with her chin resting in her hands, a soft smile on her face. The table before her was bare, she hadn't even fished out her textbook yet. "Well, at least they're having fun?" the blonde said.

"That's true, I'd hate to hear her yawning or something," Benjamin nodded. Lily pulled out a ballpoint pen, unwilling to deal with a quill, and wrote her name at the top of her parchment, trying not to glance over at the two if she could help it.

Benjamin didn't seem to be paying much attention to his star chart anymore. He and Marlene were chuckling and concocting different, sad situations one might find a pair of bored lovers in.

Lily glanced over her notes, hoping to find something that would inspire a thesis statement so that she could at least get this essay started. Starting was always the difficult part. Once she started, she would be fine.

She kept glancing up every few seconds to make sure no one took notice of her pen. Usually her housemates cared little about the writing utensils she used, but she was unwilling to either explain what it was or defend her use of it right now.

No one seemed to pay her any mind.

"… you could overhear them saying 'dear, I can't sleep, tell me something boring… tell me again about when you realized you loved me,'" Marlene said, still having fun coming up with awkward situations with Benjamin.

"I feel like everyone can't have an amazing story for that, though, like, someone has to have realized they loved someone else while doing their laundry or something," Benjamin said.

_Thesis statement, thesis statement, thesis statement…_

Marlene snorted, "Is this someone a house elf?"

"No, but just think about it, like, if you've washed someone's dirty underpants and still want to deal with them, that's probably love, right?" Benjamin said.

"That's when you just make up something better," Marlene said. "Like, 'I knew I was in love with you when I saw you in that suit,' not 'I knew I was in love with you when I realized I was somehow not disgusted with you.'"

Lily was just considering leaving Marlene to her conversation and going up to the dorm to work on her essay (perhaps she would figure out the thesis statement on the short walk) when the portrait hole opened and the Marauders piled in, mid-conversation.

Sirius, who had been laughing, stopped abruptly when his eyes fell on Marlene and Benjamin. A frown settled into his handsome features and he glanced away.

"It won't be long, is all I'm saying, he always retaliates," Remus said. Lily frowned as well. They were surely talking about Severus. It had taken her a better part of half an hour to get the wax out of his hair.

"We'll be ready, he's somewhat predictable, what's that spell he used last time?" Peter said.

"Hmm," James said, pulling out his wand. Lily reached for hers, knowing nothing good could come from this, but before she had a chance to even touch it, James had said,  _"Levicorpus!"_

Marlene's conversation with Benjamin was swiftly halted as she was yanked by her ankle into the air, startling everyone around her with the sudden movement.

"What the fuck!?" she shrieked.

"Ah, okay, this is a decent spell," James nodded, keeping his wand steady and watching as Marlene turned to scowl at him.

"You okay?" Benjamin asked.

"Just annoyed," Marlene mumbled.

Lily stood up, glaring daggers at James. "Put her down, Potter."

An idea seemed to cross James' mind. His hazel eyes lit up and he ruffled his hair, giving Lily a smile that she was sure he thought was charming. She thought it was obnoxious. "I will if you go out with me, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes.  _"Potter—"_

"Go on, go out with me and I'll put McKinnon down," James said.

"You're an idiot," Remus sighed.

"Well, I'm sorry, Marlene," Lily said, turning to the blonde, whose face was growing redder the longer she stayed upside down. "I guess this is just your life now."

"Good thing I wore trousers today instead of a skirt, I suppose," Marlene said.

"You know, I think I know the countercurse," Benjamin said, pulling out his own wand.

"You're no fun!" James pouted.

"Liberacorpus!" Benjamin said. He rushed forward and quickly caught Marlene, who fell from the air. He stumbled under her sudden weight but managed not to drop her.

"Oof! Thank you," Marlene said, batting her lashes and managing to look sweet even with a red face and disheveled hair.

"Five points from Gryffindor," Lily said to James, sitting back down.

"You've got to be kidding, Evans!" James said, approaching the table.

"Do you want detention, too? Stop hexing random students," Lily said.

James rolled his eyes. "It's just a bit of fun, no one got hurt."

"Prongs," Sirius called from the door that led to the boys' dorms, gesturing James over. Sirius very clearly wanted to leave the common room, doing everything he could to avoid looking at Marlene, still in Benjamin's arms.

James' eyes darted between the uncomfortable Sirius and the unimpressed Lily before, finally, he ran his fingers through his hair one last time and headed to the dorms with his friends.

Remus mouthed "sorry" to Lily as he followed. She managed to smile softly.

* * *

Truthfully, the Marauders had little time to spare for Lily Evans, or Marlene McKinnon, or for Gryffindor's house points at the moment. Each night since returning from the holiday, they had been hunched over the freshly-drawn map, muttering incantations and watching as labeled dots appeared on each floor.

Tonight they were due to finally finish the map at last, with only a few spells left to go.

Remus had four small pins on his bedside table and was carefully waving his wand over them, muttering spells to sterilize them. James had dragged his table over where it was easier for them all to access it, and was carefully settling the folded piece of parchment on top.

The drawing of the castle on the cover had clean, crisp lines, and had been shaded with care. The words declaring their nicknames and the map's title had been elegantly written.

This was it. They were nearly done with their greatest project since they decided to become animagi.

Eagerly, the others gathered around the map, Remus handing each of them a pin.

"Ready?" Sirius said, bouncing slightly in anticipation.

"We'll just prick our fingers, then, when we have to add the blood," Peter said, looking anxious, but eager.

"The side of our fingers, though, there's all kinds of nerves at the tip," Remus cautioned.

"First the spell," James said, pulling out his wand. The others followed his lead. Each reciting the same, long incantation that James had taught them, four wands touched the parchment.

The ink faded away. The others looked to James, who took a deep breath and said, "Count of three."

He counted down and all at once, they recited,  _"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"_  and tapped the parchment. They repeated this process over and over, until at their seventh try, the map blotted itself back into view.

Remus unfolded it slightly to be sure that all the other text and drawings had reappeared as well. After confirming it had, he folded the map again to show the front cover.

Sirius lifted his pin and the others followed suit. James and Remus found themselves having to apply more pressure than the others as they pricked their fingers, their hands calloused from Quidditch and lycanthropy respectfully.

The four boys reached forward, allowing a drop of blood each to drip down onto the portion of the cover drawn in red ink. James grabbed a book from his bed, smearing a bit of blood on the spine as he opened it to a marked page. He tapped the map with his wand again and read a passage in the book aloud. It was in Latin.

When he was through, the drop of his blood had vanished, sinking into the parchment and away. He handed the book to Sirius, who did the same, his drop of blood sinking away as well. They passed the book until they had each read it aloud and their drop of blood had disappeared into the parchment.

Wands out again, James counted to three once more.  _"Mischief managed!"_  they each said, tapping the map. On the seventh tap, the parchment wiped itself clean.

They each held their breath, glancing around at each other, as though waiting for someone to try something first.

Finally, Remus touched the parchment with his wand. "Show me the map."

Words scrawled across the surface and they all leaned over to read them.

_Mr. Moony is disappointed that Mr. Lupin would think it was that easy._

_Mr. Prongs expected better of Mr. Lupin and suggests that perhaps Mr. Lupin should stop thinking about pretty Ravenclaws and focus._

_Mr. Padfoot always knew he was smarter than Mr. Lupin, and doesn't think Mr. Lupin should beat himself up about it._

_Mr. Wormtail agrees with his colleagues and would like to add that Mr. Lupin ought to consider asking for help… if he can find it in himself to admit he's made a mistake._

"Well, that part works," Peter grinned.

"I can admit when I've made a mistake," Remus said with a frown.

"Yeah, okay," James said, his tone condescending. "And I'm modest."

"Who cares? Let's see if the proper phrase works," Sirius said, tapping the parchment with his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The insults aimed at Remus faded away and the front cover that James and Sirius had labored over appeared. The boys cheered and with a quick,  _"Mischief managed!"_  James cleared the parchment again.

"We've done it! There will be no more Filch sneaking up on us, no walking right into McGonagall under the cloak," James grinned.

"We only walked into her the one time," Peter said.

"I still can't believe she didn't catch us," Remus said, remembering very well as the group of them, eleven years old at the time, their friendship new, huddled under the cloak after curfew and collided with their professor during her rounds. They had hastily spun around on the spot and dashed away, leaving her looking around, baffled.

"Nothing is off-limits anymore," Sirius said, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Look out, Hogwarts."

"It'll certainly come in handy tomorrow when we sneak off to the victory party," Peter said.

"Ah, yes, we shouldn't have any issue getting in and out of Ravenclaw tower past curfew with this," Sirius nodded.

"You mean the Hufflepuff basement," James corrected.

"The Hufflepuffs won't be throwing a victory party after Ravenclaw wins, they aren't  _that_  nice," Sirius scoffed.

"Don't you remember Ravenclaw getting flattened last year? Fourth place out of four in Quidditch!" James said.

"Yeah, and all their rubbish players graduated, their lineup is better now," Sirius said.

"I heard that too," Remus nodded.

James sighed heavily. "Really, Moony? This is the stag versus dog thing all over again."

"Either way, we get to go to a party, it doesn't really matter," Peter shrugged.

"Very true, and I am quite looking forward to it," Sirius said, that glint of mischief in his eye again.

"Yeah? What's so special this time?" James said, eying the other boy suspiciously.

"What's so special is that I'm going to have enough  _fun_  that I forget about Marlene McKinnon and her stupid face and her stupid body and her stupid—"

"Is this about her talking with Ben in the common room?" Remus said.

"Oh, they were doing more than talking. Unless she's 'just joking' with him, too," Sirius mumbled, taking a seat on his trunk. "Two can play that game, I can  _talk_  too. Lots of people would love to  _talk_  with me."

"Well, the important thing is that you haven't let this whole thing make you bitter," James nodded.

"Who's bitter? Not me," Sirius grumbled. "Anyway, it'll be a good opportunity for Moony, too."

"Er, how do you figure?" Remus said, cocking a brow.

"A certain pretty Ravenclaw is sure to be there," Sirius said, managing a sing-song voice through his earlier definitely-not-there bitterness. Remus felt himself turning red.

He had spent more time over the holiday than he would like to admit thinking about Emmeline Vance. He had found himself staring at the back of her head in Defense Against the Dark Arts, while James stared at Lily's and Sirius tried purposefully not to stare at Marlene's.

Still, he cleared his throat and said, "Y-you lot aren't still on that, are you?"

The others exchanged knowing glances.

"You like her," Peter said.

"As a  _friend,"_  Remus insisted, perhaps too quickly.

"You're such a bad liar," James said. "I can't believe it took us until second year to realize you're a werewolf."

Remus simply frowned.

So, maybe he had a crush on Emmeline Vance.


	28. Pick My Brain, Pick Your Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter for you guys! I didn't want to split it up because this fic is already long, so, here we are. We've got another post-Quidditch party this time around and we all know how that went last time, so get cozy, enjoy, and let me know what you think!

_James was nodding almost as enthusiastically as Remus was shaking his head._

* * *

Remus didn't know why Peter was shoving him forward through their row of seats until he saw Emmeline straight ahead, talking with Lily and Marlene. Remus could feel his cheeks burning and prayed that everyone would assume it was the cold as he brushed snow off of the seat beside Emmeline before settling there.

"Hello," he said.

"Oh, hello!" Emmeline said. "Tell me you're for Ravenclaw?"

"Oh, er, yes," Remus nodded.

"Boo!" Marlene said, giving him the thumbs down.

"They're for Hufflepuff," Emmeline said, jerking her head in Lily and Marlene's direction.

"Yeah, because we're supporting our  _friend_ , you turncoat," Lily teased. She and Marlene were both sporting yellow and black stripes across their cheeks, though they were bundled in their Gryffindor scarfs.

"I hope Dorcas does well!" Emmeline said. "But not so well that Ravenclaw loses."

"Ravenclaw is definitely going to lose," Peter said with a nod.

"Hufflepuff's trained more," James said.

"Ra-Ra-Ravenclaw," Emmeline said, waving her small Ravenclaw flag defiantly. "And Hufflepuff didn't train  _that much_  more than our team did."

"Ravenclaw's not exactly known for athletics," James teased.

"We are known for  _talent_  though," Emmeline smiled, the wind picking up and jostling her curls. Remus adjusted his scarf over his cheeks, cursing himself silently for getting fixated on her hair as she spoke.

"Good morning, Hogwarts! It's a cold one, visibility isn't great, but the show must go on! Madam Promfrey would like me to remind all spectators and players that if you find yourself going numb or any of your body parts turning blue to immediately leave the pitch and go to the hospital wing. I would like to remind all of you that this is Quidditch and Quidditch doesn't have time for frostbite," Sirius' voice boomed across the pitch. "And hey, at least being blue would be festive, right? If you're here for Ravenclaw, anyway. Yes, today is the badgers versus the eagles. We'll see if wit beyond measure translates to the field or if the especially good finders can track down the snitch in this weather."

Most of the Slytherins seemed to be cheering for Hufflepuff, while a great deal of the Gryffindors joined in the chanting of  _Ra! Ra! Ravenclaw!_

Emmeline snapped a photo of Dorcas as she flew by on the way to the Hufflepuff rings, yellow Quidditch robes fluttering every direction in the shifting wind.

"Oh, I'm so glad we're not playing today," Marlene mumbled, rubbing her hands together.

"So, your Polaroids move, don't they?" Remus asked Emmeline as she prepared to snap another picture.

"Oh, yes, I have to get the potion that wizards use to develop traditional film, put it in a spray bottle, and kind of mist it over the regular Polaroid film before loading it in the camera," Emmeline explained.

"I was wondering. I figured they didn't just sell the film like that," Remus nodded. Hardly audible over the wind, Madam Hooch blew her whistle and released the Quaffle.

" _Stebbins takes possession of the Quaffle for Ravenclaw, passes to Buckley, who dodges a Bludger sent from Moss. Passes back to Stebbins, Stebbins approaches the rings and—! Nice save from Meadowes!"_

"Nice one, Dor!" Lily called as their row cheered for the girl.

" _Meadowes passes to McKinnon, McKinnon to Abbott. Abbott dodges a Bludger from Wade and drops the Quaffle, but it's recovered by Lowe. The beaters are actually awake this game, which is a refreshing change of pace from the last one, just saying. Lowe passes back to McKinnon, McKinnon shoots—ten points to Hufflepuff!"_

The Hufflepuff crowd cheered. Emmeline and Remus clapped politely as their friends on either side yelled loudly. Chants of Michael McKinnon's name began sounding and a quick glance James' way made it clear that he was not too keen to go  _that_ far, shutting his mouth at once.

Remus wasn't sure if it was because of the tense situation between Sirius and Marlene, or if it was because Michael once dated Lily, who seemed to have no issue chanting his name with the others.

If Remus had to guess, however, he would probably go with the latter.

The wind was working against the chasers, shifting direction without warning. One of the Ravenclaw chasers attempted to score, only to have the wind blow the Quaffle straight back at their head. The confusion led to Hufflepuff possessing the Quaffle.

When Michael McKinnon attempted to score again, however, the wind shifted once more and the Quaffle went to the left of the ring he had been aiming for, causing a groan from the Hufflepuff-supporting crowd.

"You've got to put more power behind the throw than that!" James was shouting, the players none the wiser. "There's no reason that shouldn't have worked!"

"Well, not everyone has enough hot air in their head to affect the wind to their preference, Potter," Lily said.

"So you admit that had I made that shot, I would have scored," James grinned.

Lily didn't respond, for Emmeline was yelling at the pitch now.

"Come  _on,_  Billy! We need a score!" she was shouting at Billy Stebbins, who was now approaching the Hufflepuff rings. Dorcas barely caught the Quaffle in time.

Emmeline and Remus each groaned as the others applauded. Emmeline shouted again, "Can't you suck for like five minutes, Meadowes?"

"Badgers! Badgers! Badgers!" Lily and Marlene chanted as Emmeline leaned back in her seat with a sigh.

The game went on. Whenever Ravenclaw managed to get the Quaffle near the rings, Dorcas managed to save it. After about two-dozen attempts, Hufflepuff achieved a pitiful few more scores.

"And the points are currently 50-0 with Hufflepuff in the lead and the wind showing preference to no one," Sirius could barely be heard saying over the gusts.

Emmeline had gone back to snapping pictures, careful to stuff the photographs in her pocket as soon as she could so the wind wouldn't carry them off. Remus found himself glancing between her and the actual game frequently.

Someone nudged him in the shoulder. He glanced over to find James and Peter smirking at him. Again, Remus buried his cheeks into his scarf.

"Another score thwarted by mother nature, tough luck, Ravenclaws," Sirius' voice flitted through the air. Remus didn't see the attempted score, for James was now making wild gestures between the sandy-haired boy and Emmeline, mouthing something as he went.

Remus pulled down his scarf to fully give James a puzzled expression. "What?" he mouthed.

James continued his mad gesturing, still mouthing the same, unknown phrase. When Remus continued to stare at him blankly, James sighed heavily and leaned over to whisper to Peter, who sat between them.

"What? I can't hear you over the wind!" Peter shouted. James rolled his eyes and cast a glance toward the commentator's box, no doubt thinking that if  _Sirius_  were here, he'd understand what James was trying to convey.

That was probably true.

Nevertheless, he cupped his hands around Peter's ear and tried again.

" _Oh!"_  Peter said, nodding. He gestured for Remus to lean over closer and said in tones hushed enough so that the girls wouldn't hear, "James reckons you should put your arm around Vance."

Remus was blushing an excessive amount today and shook his head almost violently.

He couldn't just… just put his arm around her! Like it was no big deal! Touching her  _at all_  seemed like a huge step.

Remus wasn't sure they'd had any physical contact outside Sirius shoving him into her or maybe accidentally brushing each others fingers while exchanging comic books. They were not in "casually draping my arm over your shoulders" territory. He was sure of it.

James was nodding almost as enthusiastically as Remus was shaking his head. Remus wanted to say that James was not exactly his first choice for advice on girls, having watched him stumble through any interaction with the fairer sex for the past couple of years, but he wasn't about to shout this over the wind and bring attention to the situation.

A quick glance showed that the girls were still fixated on the pitch.

James was gesturing again and this time Remus thought he was mouthing  _"She's right there!"_  Remus continued shaking his head.

James sighed heavily again, with a dramatic flair that would have made Sirius proud.

"Bradshaw's off! She's seen the Snitch!" Sirius called as the fourth year draped in blue shot off.

"Already!?" James said, the position of Remus' arm no longer of interest as his head snapped back to the pitch.

"Come on, Marla!" Emmeline shouted, on her feet now. Marlene was too. It didn't take long for the rest of their row to join them, leaning over to watch as a blur of blue and yellow whipped by the Ravenclaw goals and up further into the air in pursuit of the Snitch.

"Bradshaw's got the lead on Flynn, he's got quite a bit of air to gain if he wants to stand a chance. The wind's starting to knock them both off-course, you can see Bradshaw struggling to keep her broom going straight," Sirius said, everyone squinting upward to watch as the seekers flew higher and higher still.

"Flynn! Flynn! Flynn!" the Hufflepuff crowd was chanting.

"Come on, Marla. Come on, Marla," Emmeline was more mumbling than anything.

Marla Bradshaw was reaching forward, Flynn hot on her tail. Her fist closed and she slowed to a stop, turning around and heading back to the pitch as Flynn skidded to a halt mid-air.

Once she was closer to the crowd, she held her hand high, triumphant, the snitch hardly visible between her fingers.

"Ravenclaw wins!" Sirius was cheering. "The final score comes to 150 to 50, all thanks to Bradshaw and the Golden Snitch!"

"That's rubbish!" James was calling as the Hufflepuff crowd groaned.

"Ra! Ra! Ravenclaw!" Remus and Emmeline chanted along with the Ravenclaw crowd.

"That's got to hurt," Marlene was saying to Lily as they watched Dorcas head to the ground to congratulate Ravenclaw with the rest of her teammates.

"She has to know she did well, she didn't let in a single goal!" Lily said loudly to be heard over the cheers.

"Bradshaw caught the Snitch to put Ravenclaw out of its misery!" James was saying now.

"Can't hear you, we still won! Ra! Ra! Ravenclaw!" Emmeline cheered.

"The current Quidditch Cup standings are as follows: Gryffindor in the lead with 260 points, Ravenclaw up next with today's 150. Third is Slytherin with 60 points and fourth is Hufflepuff with today's 50," Sirius was announcing. "See you all next match: Slytherin versus Ravenclaw."

* * *

"No Firewhiskey pong tonight, Pete," Remus warned as the Marauders moved swiftly through the corridor, James glancing at the map every couple of steps to be sure that no authority figure was about to cross paths with them. It had been a long time since they could all fit beneath James' cloak without some of them being transformed, so they were taking a chance and relying on their map for the first time tonight.

"I'm great at Firewhiskey pong!" Peter objected at once.

"Fine," James said. "No Firewhiskey pong against Alice, who is  _better_  at it than you."

"We'd very much like to not have to drag you all the way back to  _our_  tower tonight," Remus said, pocketing his prefect badge rather than be seen as some sort of killjoy at the festivities.

"Fine, fine," Peter said.

"It's  _my_  turn to get dragged back," Sirius said, his tone determined.

"Still going on about getting drunk and  _talking_  to people tonight?" Remus said, cocking a brow.

"I'm sixteen years old and have access to alcohol, Moony, it would practically be irresponsible to be responsible tonight!" Sirius declared.

"You know that makes no sense, right?" Peter said.

"It's my duty to be reckless!" Sirius clarified.

"Right, I'm sure the Ravenclaws are going to throw a  _rager_ ," James said skeptically.

"What, do you suppose it'll be a giant book club or something?" Remus said with a roll of the eye.

"I wouldn't say no to a game of charades, just saying," Peter shrugged.

"They've got alcohol, and everyone with an ounce of musical talent is in that house," Sirius said. "It should be a  _fine_  setting for a night of ill-advised, er,  _talking."_

"Er, just in case," Remus said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at Sirius, who was walking a few steps ahead.  _"Pubis Clypeus."_

Sirius flinched in response, causing the others to snicker. He turned around and glared at Remus.

"Well, do you want to catch something? Like  _fatherhood?"_  Remus said, quirking a brow.

"I suppose that  _would_  be an awful thing to catch," Sirius winced.

"Here we are," James said as they turned the corner. The door to Ravenclaw tower was propped open with a cauldron, a muffled voice on the other side speaking in riddles.

"Mischief managed," James whispered to the map as he tapped it with his wand, wiping it clean. He pocketed both his wand and the now-blank parchment and walked with the others inside.

The Ravenclaw common room was spacious and an obscene amount of bookshelves were aesthetically tucked all around. The boys passed a statue of Rowena Ravenclaw to place the bottles of Firewhiskey they had brought along on the nearby refreshment table.

A ways away, an entire group of Ravenclaws sat with acoustic guitars, playing pleasantly as students nearby danced. A scruffy, seventh year Slytherin was drumming along skillfully on some empty liquor bottles.

"I told you, Ravenclaw gets most everyone that's good at music," Sirius sighed, throwing back a shot from the table. "Speaking of. Evening, Killer Queen."

Remus turned quickly from the refreshments to see Emmeline and Lily standing nearby, both smiling and pink in the face. James' hand was in his hair and Remus nearly did the same, catching himself halfway and awkwardly setting his hand to his side.

"Hello!" Emmeline said brightly. Her slight sway said that she was a few drinks in. Lily waved, humming merrily, a large, half finished, fruity looking drink in her hand.

"Nice common room," James commented.

Before Emmeline could respond, there was a small shriek and Peter suddenly leaped behind James, shaking. The group looked around wildly before spying a fluffy grey cat seated on the back of one of the nearby armchairs.

" _Merlin,_  it isn't going to hurt you!" Sirius said.

"Aw, it's a sweet kitty, aren't you?" Lily cooed, stroking the cat's head.

"Er, Pete's afraid of most animals," Remus said, attempting to cover for his friend. "Thankfully, the only one we've got in our dorm is James' owl."

Emmeline was nodding along, Lily was very focused on the cat, who was purring contently. Peter muttered something about needing a drink and took the shot that Sirius offered him.

"Is Meadowes around or is she licking her wounds with the other Hufflepuffs?" James asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"She was here earlier. She left, though, wanted to change out of her robes. Should be back later," Emmeline said, the grin never leaving her face. "Marlene went off with Benjamin… we should probably find her, huh, Lily?"

"Oh, probably," Lily said, now cradling the cat in her arms, her drink forgotten. "This is my cat now, shh."

As the girls wandered off to find their blonde friend, Sirius shoved a shot into Remus' hand, mumbling something about Marlene coming to the party with "some git."

"Cheers," Sirius said once he was through mumbling, tapping Remus' shot glass with his own before taking the shot.

"Pace yourself, Pads," James said, taking his first shot.

Sirius forced a smile. "I'll be fine."

* * *

It should be noted that, while sober, Lily and Emmeline managed to be very responsible, focused students. Emmeline might procrastinate and Lily might lose track of time, but overall, if they kept their minds on a task, they could easily achieve it.

This was no doubt part of why they had each been appointed prefect.

However, at the current moment, the girls were  _not_  sober, and tracking down Marlene was proving to be rather difficult, as they kept getting distracted.

First, the cat leaped from Lily's arms and atop a bookshelf. The tipsy girls had spent several minutes attempting to coax the creature back down, only giving up when the cat settled itself against the wall and out of sight.

Then, Emmeline had overheard some of her housemates discussing David Bowie, pausing and looking up as soon as she heard the man's name. One of them had scoffed and said that the man was "all gimmick." This earned the whole lot of them a rant from Emmeline, in which she detailed how much of an innovator David Bowie was until those having the original discussion managed to slip away from her.

After that, the group of musicians asked Emmeline if she would sing with them, having heard about her performance at the Gryffindor victory party. She promised to come back after another drink.

Finally, nearly half an hour after beginning their search, they found her. In an armchair tucked in a corner near some bookshelves, Marlene was settled into Benjamin Burke's lap, their lips locked.

"Do we just assume she's okay?" Lily said to Emmeline.

"She looks just fine to me," Emmeline said, and Lily could swear she heard a slight scowl in her tone.

"You know, Madam Valdez says not to assume anything," Lily said, matter-of-factly.

"That's in divination," Emmeline said.

However, Lily was already calling Marlene's name. It took several tries before Marlene pried her face away from Benjamin's and glanced around. She cocked a brow at Lily, who waved and said, "You okay?"

Marlene, who had been drinking far less in comparison to her friends, due to her distracting activity, rolled her eyes and gave Lily a thumbs-up. She then gestured for Lily and Emmeline to leave her be.

The blonde was enthusiastically snogging Benjamin again before Lily and Emmeline had a chance to turn away.

"We'll check in again later, in case she needs rescuing," said Lily.

"If you say so," Emmeline said, strolling over to a nearby table and pouring herself another drink.

"Only water after this," Lily scolded, pouring a drink for herself as well. "Don't want a repeat of last time, there are so many  _more_  guitars this time around."

"As Schnell is not playing any of them, I doubt it will be an issue," Emmeline said with a mischievous smile, tapping her glass to Lily's before draining it.

Lily noticed that Emmeline no longer gagged when drinking hard liquor, and was a bit surprised at how quickly the Ravenclaw had become accustomed to it. Lily still made a bit of a face as the liquid hit her throat.

"Vance! Oi, Killer Queen!" the drumming Slytherin called, passing what appeared to be a joint to Sirius, who was sitting on the arm of the couch nearby.

"What is it?" Emmeline called back.

"You said you'd sing with us after another drink!" one of the guitarists said in a sing-song voice.

"Oh, yes, yes," Emmeline said cheerfully, setting the now-empty glass down and scurrying over without hesitation. Lily followed, pleased to see her friend acting confidently again.

Sirius handed the joint to Emmeline, who eyed it curiously.

"Inhale and hold it in for about five seconds," Sirius advised, his eyes already bloodshot.

"You don't have—never mind," Lily sighed as Emmeline did as Sirius instructed, passing the joint off to one of the guitarists as she held her breath. A few seconds later, she gave in to a small coughing fit, smoke escaping her lips.

"Oh, there it goes," Emmeline said, curiously setting a hand to her head and looking off in the distance.

"Yeah, there's a bit of goosegrass and, um, jibber—er, no— _jobber_ knoll feather in there, burns slower and kicks in faster that way," Sirius nodded.

"Evans?" one of the guitarists said, holding the joint to her.

Lily simply smiled and shook her head. "No, thank you, Keith."

Keith shrugged and handed it to someone standing behind Lily. She glanced over her shoulder to see Remus setting the joint between his lips.

"Hello," she said brightly, feeling significantly less awkward around him with alcohol buzzing about her brain. Remus smiled in greeting as he held smoke in his lungs and passed on the joint.

After a moment, he, too, exhaled smoke. "Is there going to be another performance, then?"

"Here's hoping. More Queen this evening, you think, Vance?" Keith said, adjusting his guitar. Emmeline grinned, sitting atop the coffee table and nodding.

"I think so. How about…" Emmeline said, taking a deep breath before singing pleasantly,  _"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"_

* * *

Dorcas applauded with the others in the room as Emmeline finished up Bohemian Rhapsody, much of the room having joined in. The group of musicians began chattering almost immediately to determine what to play next.

"Really, though, you were practically the only one that played today," James said, continuing the conversation he and Dorcas had started earlier, before the common room had loudly demanded that Scaramouch, whoever that may be, do the fandango.

"That's not true," Dorcas said, though she was smiling. "The Ravenclaws put up a good fight. And our chasers  _did_  make five goals."

"You weren't mad that you were in the lead and then twenty-five minutes in, you lost?" James said, cocking a brow. "I would be."

"I'm disappointed, sure," Dorcas shrugged. "But it's the nature of the game, isn't it? I daresay you wouldn't be singing the same tune if  _Gryffindor_  had pulled off what Ravenclaw did today."

"Perhaps," James shrugged. "But I like playing. It's why my position's chaser, there's more action, you get to  _do_  more, there's more excitement."

"Was there ever another option?" Dorcas asked, smiling and knowing if Lily was nearby that she would no doubt groan at Dorcas giving James the opportunity to brag.

And brag he did, assuming the position, his chest puffed out and head held high. "I make a pretty fair seeker, honestly. I practice with a snitch a lot for laughs."

"Sometimes I wish anyone could catch it instead of putting all that responsibility and all those points on one person," Dorcas said.

"That's usually what we do when we play in the garden back home, or we just play up to a certain number of points," James said.

"You play Quidditch in the garden?" Dorcas said, cocking a brow and thinking of her tiny excuse for a yard back home. "Muggles don't see you?"

"Oh yeah, the estate is miles away from any muggles, the property is quite large," James nodded.

Dorcas sighed and eyed him with envy. "That must be nice. I  _never_  get to practice over the summer unless Marlene and her siblings happen to make a day out of finding somewhere to play and bring friends along. It happens less and less with only Marlene and Michael still living at the house."

"You should come visit and play with us," James said brightly. "We usually don't have enough people for full teams and have Peter as keeper. He's rubbish at it, better at beating."

"Really? That sounds fun," Dorcas nodded. "All the McKinnons were keeper or chaser so there's usually a bit of argument over the positions."

Being able to actually play her position during a summer game would be nice. Dorcas often found herself playing chaser or beater when playing with the McKinnons.

There were cheers and catcalls suddenly from a few paces away, and James and Dorcas turned to find Sirius sharing a passionate kiss with Gerald Jackson.

Dorcas glanced at James, eyes wide. James had simply cocked a brow before casually sipping from his mug of butterbeer, which he had spiked with more alcohol earlier.

Before Dorcas could utter a word, and her mouth was open to do so, Billy Stebbins shouted, "Since when are  _you_  into blokes then, Black?"

Sirius broke away from Gerald, grinning. Gerald seemed to lose his balance slightly, as though he had been using Sirius' mouth as a crutch to stay upright.

"It's 1976!" Sirius slurred. "Everyone is bisexual now! Get with the times, Stebbins!"

"Cheers!" a girl in the corner shouted, holding up her drink before kissing the girl beside her on the mouth. More cheering and catcalls came from this, along with a bit of judgmental grumbling among some.

"Right, so, Quidditch," James said, turning back to Dorcas.

"You aren't at all concerned about…" Dorcas gestured toward where Sirius and Gerald had just been kissing.

James smiled softly. "Meadowes, have you  _met_  Sirius?"

* * *

It was getting late. Well, actually, it had  _been_  late, it was getting  _later._  Remus had lost track of Sirius after his outburst a while ago. He hadn't seen James since Dorcas had led him across the dance floor to try and prove that James was  _not_  as graceful on his feet as he was on a broom, only to find that he kept up with her lead just fine. Last he saw Peter, the boy had been juggling butterbeer bottles for a group of girls, a talent that Remus had not been aware that Peter possessed.

Vaguely, through a cloud of smoke in his mind, Remus considered that he ought to be concerned that he hadn't seen his friends in a while. A quick glance around showed a few people still dancing, the musicians still playing, and many couples snogging. Lily was sitting on a sofa, chattering with one of the Ravenclaw chasers, both looking more sober than most. Still, he couldn't see any of the other Marauders.

 _They're probably fine,_  he thought. He was sitting on the coffee table now, leaning heavily against Emmeline's shoulder. She had since taken a break from singing, taking a nearby bowl of popcorn and settling it in her lap. She and Remus had nearly finished the entire thing.

Why was butter so delicious? Why didn't everyone put butter on everything? Why didn't Remus eat popcorn every single day?

He glanced at Emmeline. She was smart. "Why don't they put butter on everything?"

"Because it's fattening," she said, licking salt off her fingertips. "Everything delicious is fattening, it's a cruel joke."

"Cruel joke," Remus repeated with a nod. "What an odd word, 'cruel.'"

"Cruel," Emmeline said.

"Cruel."

"Cruel."

"Cru _el."_

" _Cru_ el."

"Cruuuuel," Remus said. "See, it's not even a word anymore."

" _Words_  are weird, do you ever think about words?" Emmeline said.

"Words are so weird,  _language_  is weird," Keith said from the nearby couch, his guitar propped nearby and abandoned. Remus didn't notice how bloodshot Keith's eyes were, but if he had, perhaps he would have wondered if his were as bad.

How many times had they passed joints around?

"Right? We're just making noises at each other, and hoping the other person understands because they also learned the same noises," Emmeline said, the blue of her eyes surrounded by red as well.

"And then people learn different noises just based on where they happen to  _be_ ," Remus nodded. "And then reading? Grammar? That shit's weird too."

"Have you ever thought about colors? Like,  _really_  thought about colors?" Emmeline whispered seriously.

"Mate, I keep myself up sometimes thinking about colors!" Keith said, eyes wide.

"What's weird about colors?" Remus asked, honestly intrigued.

"Like, what if I see blue, but you see orange, but we both call it 'blue,' so we would never know that the blue I see is really orange through your eyes," Emmeline said. "Like, the colors you see might be the opposite of the colors I see but we call them by the same names so we  _never challenge what the other believes to be true of the colors."_

"There's some kind of fish that can see colors we can't," Keith said. "Try to imagine a new  _color."_

"It's a shrimp," Remus corrected, though his mind was spinning in its haze trying to imagine an entirely new color.

"I like shrimp," Keith nodded. "Do you think there are any in the kitchen?"

* * *

"Where's your new lover, then?" James asked Gerald, who blushed furiously in his attempt to grab a finger sandwich from a platter.

"Who, S-Sirius?" Gerald practically stuttered.

"Nah, the other prat you were snogging," James said sarcastically. Peter, who was standing close behind James, chortled, and reached for a shotglass on the table, only stopping when James gave him a look.

"Well, um, we weren't the  _only_  ones snogging, there was spin-the-bottle, you see," Gerald said.

"Spin-the-bottle? What are you lot, twelve?" James said, laughing slightly. That hadn't been what James expected when Sirius went on about a night of reckless behavior.

"You either snogged for ten seconds or you could take a shot, I expected him to take the shot, most of the boys in the circle did when it landed on another bloke," Gerald sighed. "I did every time it landed on a girl."

"How many people did he snog tonight, then?" James asked, glancing around the immediate area for Sirius. People were passing out on couches and the floor now, which was usually a good indication that whoever was the most sober of the group should gather the others and head back to the dorm.

This time that duty went to James.

"Quite a bit, he's really living up to a negative stereotype about the bisexual community," Gerald said with a short nod. "Excellent kisser, though."

"He'll be thrilled about your review, I'm sure," James said, grabbing Peter by the arm and dragging him away from the remaining drinks on the table. "Any idea where he's gone off to?"

"Sorry, mate," Gerald shrugged.

"Let me know if he turns up for seconds," James said, saluting Gerald before tugging Peter along to where the musicians had been set up earlier, finding Lily and Dorcas helping a sleepy-looking Emmeline to her feet.

"He's still pretty high," Lily said to James as he approached Remus.

"I'm  _enlightened,"_  Remus corrected immediately, taking James' hand and getting to his feet. "And… really hungry. Have you ever had chips covered in hot fudge? I haven't but it sounds excellent and I would like some right now."

" _Chocolate chips!"_  Emmeline said with a gasp.

"Yes!" Remus nodded.

"Have you seen Marlene by any chance?" Dorcas asked James.

"No, have you lot seen Sirius?" asked James.

"Oh,  _no,_  I hope they're not together somewhere," Lily sighed.

"You and me both," James said, glancing around again.

"I'll make sure Emmeline gets back to bed, you look for Marlene," Dorca said to Lily, who nodded. The Hufflepuff turned to Emmeline and seemed to brace herself slightly. "Em, can you tell me which door is the girl's dormitory?"

"Gender is such a strange concept, isn't it?" Emmeline said. "We have all these expectations of us because we have vaginas? It's bizarre."

"Absolutely, now which door," Dorcas said, pointing to the doors on either side of the common room, "Leads to your dorm?"

One door was marked with the phases of the moon, the other the sun.

"Artemis," Emmeline said, pointing to the one with the moons. James had since climbed atop the coffee table to try and get a better view of the common room and hopefully find Sirius. Remus and Peter had joined him, mainly out of amusement.

Dorcas was about to reach for the handle on the door when Sirius burst out of it.

"Found him, James!" Dorcas called, James already heading over.

"Hello!" Sirius said brightly, stumbling a bit as he passed Dorcas and Emmeline.

"Boys are allowed in the girl's dorm here?" Lily asked, having not strayed far in her attempt to locate Marlene.

"Oh, yes. We have study groups a lot. Anyone unwelcome is usually chased off by The Grey Lady," Emmeline nodded. Indeed, lingering just past the door to the dorms, a stern-looking ghost was lurking. "All right, Helena?"

The ghost peered judgmentally at the non-Ravenclaws before following the steps back up through the girls dorm without a word, as though resuming a patrol. Lily turned her heel as well, off to find Marlene. Dorcas and Emmeline started up the steps.

Sirius was now propped on James' shoulders, his eyes unfocused.

"What were you doing in the girl's dorm, then?" James asked him.

"What are  _you_  doing _here?"_  Sirius countered through a hiccup.

"What are  _any_  of us doing here, you know, on this planet?" Remus said, his eyes wide. "Do you understand how many millions of random things had to happen to lead to  _this moment now?"_

"We'll discuss this later," James sighed, beginning to drag Sirius to the exit. They passed Lily, who was squeezing around some cozy couples while glancing all around. James saluted her. "I hope you find McKinnon."

"Oh. Thank you," she said. Sirius was scowling at the mention of Marlene's surname.

 _"Marlene_  McKinnon? I saw her a few minutes ago, I'll show you," Gabriel Buckley said, turning from his group of friends. He was still in his blue Quidditch robes and Lily offered him a smile.

"Oh, that would be great, thank you!" she said.

Now James was scowling, too. He glanced over his shoulder. Peter was following close behind, but Remus was standing several yards away, staring intently at a hole in the sleeve of his sweater.

"Oi! Moony! Come on!" James called back. Lazily, Remus strolled off to catch up with them.

* * *

Sirius awoke the next morning at the sound of a clattering crash, immediately clutching his head and letting out a moan of pain.

"So sorry, Padfoot, are you hungover?" Peter said brightly, setting the water jug he'd knocked over upright again. Sirius remembered with a groan that the last time Peter had been hungover and Sirius had tormented  _him_  with sharp, loud noises, the smaller boy had sworn revenge.

"Are you finally up, then?" James asked, leaning out of the bathroom with his toothbrush still in his hand. "Moony and I already went for breakfast and came back, you both wouldn't budge."

"Such a quiet, peaceful meal," Remus mused. He was lying atop his covers and still looking sleepy. "Most of the Ravenclaws weren't there when we went, I wonder if they're in a similar state to our dear Padfoot."

Sirius simply whimpered, burying his head beneath his pillow. He cried out in pain as Peter slammed his trunk shut.

"How aren't  _you_  hungover?" Sirius' muffled voice demanded of Peter, his arm lazily gesturing in his direction.

"No firewhiskey pong," Peter said. "And there was also this group of Hufflepuffs insisting everyone stay hydrated and making us drink water constantly. I must have gone to the loo fifty times last night."

"Yes, I do believe you had just fled from the  _girl's_  washroom when I collected you," James said.

"Ah," Peter said. "No wonder the line was so  _long."_

Sirius slowly pulled himself into a seated position, flicking his wand at the curtains of the nearby window to shut them and make the room a bit less bright. He was still wearing last night's clothes and vaguely remembered the others dumping him unceremoniously into bed the previous night.

James threw a bottle of water at him. Sirius did not catch it, but rather flinched slightly as it hit his shoulder and then eyed the plastic thing lying beside him. After a few moments, he lifted the bottle and took a drink.

"So," Remus said. "Do you remember last night?"

Sirius capped the bottle. "I think so. I had some drinks, passed a joint around—you were there for that, my loyal smoke buddy—then I got invited to play spin-the-bottle and…"

He paused, glancing at the others sheepishly.

"You snogged Gerald a bit, yeah, we  _saw_  that," James said.

Remus snorted. "Everyone did."

"He said you were a good kisser, by the way," James added.

"You lot… you don't seem…" Sirius started, hesitant, unsure where his statement was going.

"Don't seem what?" Peter said, "accidentally" knocking over the box containing his wizard chess set, leaving Sirius groaning again as the pieces rattled noisily inside.

"What don't we seem?" James asked again.

"You know, concerned. About, you know," Sirius said, hesitating again. "Me kissing a boy and declaring everyone is bisexual."

"Ah, well, we weren't  _surprised_ , mate," Remus said.

"Right, the way you go on about some of those musicians," James said, gesturing to the magazine clippings above Sirius' bed, which were either motorcycles, bikini-clad women, or leather-clad rock stars, "Sometimes it's like, 'I'm not sure if he wants to  _be_  David Bowie or  _fuck_  David Bowie."

"That's an unfair example, Bowie's…  _Bowie-_ ness confuses everyone's sexuality," Sirius objected weakly.

"And Freddie Mercury?" Peter said.

"Now you learn his name," Sirius sighed, very aware now of the skimpy outfit that Freddie Mercury wore in the magazine clipping Sirius chose to pin to his part of the wall.

"Are you trying to convince us you  _aren't_  bisexual?" James said, cocking a brow.

"No, I mean, I guess, I just… I'm surprised that… you're… unsurprised?" Sirius said lamely.

"I mean we can try to drum up more of a reaction if you're disappointed," Peter said. He straightened his stance, cleared his throat, and then gasped in an exaggerated manner.

"You look scared, not surprised, relax your eyebrows," James advised.

"Oh, okay, how about this?" Peter asked, trying another dramatic gasp.  _"Our Sirius?_  A sexual deviant? Never!"

James chuckled. "Yes, better."

"So you're all… not weirded out about this," Sirius said, seeming to need clarification.

"Padfoot, you're weird for a number of reasons," James said. "This is not one of them."

"I don't think I'm  _allowed_  to judge you for this after you stuck around with me after finding out I was a werewolf," Remus shrugged. "Though, depending on who you ask we're  _both_  monstrosities going straight to hell."

"Oh, we were all gonna end up there anyway," Peter said.

Sirius sighed and leaned back against his pillows, seeming lighter. The others watched him curiously. "I'm bisexual!" he said, throwing his arms in the air at this declaration.

"Yes, so you've said," Remus nodded.

"Bisexual. That's me," Sirius said again. "It kind of feels nice to say out loud? I guess it was always in the back of my mind."

"You know what else you should say out loud?" said James. "What the hell you were doing in the Ravenclaw girl's dorm."

"Or,  _who_  you were doing," Peter said.

A puzzled expression fell over Sirius' face and he furrowed his brow as though racking through his mind for the incident in question.

"Girl's dorm, girl's dorm," he mumbled. After a few moments his eyes widened.  _"Oh."_

"Oh?" James repeated.

"Well. I had sex," Sirius said delicately.

The others eyed him curiously. Sirius had been far more chipper when relaying this information the first time around.

"Not with Marlene again?" Remus asked cautiously.

Sirius shook his head and immediately regretted this decision, clutching his skull in pain. "No, no, not McKinnon."

"Well,  _who_  then?" Peter asked, seeming eager for details.

Sirius didn't look any of them in the eye as he mumbled a name they couldn't quite make out.

"Sorry?" Remus said.

"Come on, Mate, it can't be  _that_  bad," James grinned.

"Pam Barnes," Sirius said, clearly this time.

"I stand corrected," James snorted.

"Pam Barnes, in all her, er,  _glory,_  shagged you? She hardly likes to  _talk_  to anyone unless they're telling her what a grand singer she is," Remus said, confused.

"There wasn't a lot of talking," Sirius said. He paused. "Well. Not from  _me."_

"What, was she practicing her scales or something while you went about your business?" Peter said.

"Well, she was drunk, too," Sirius said, staring at the ceiling as he recalled the previous night. "Vance was singing, I remember that, because Barnes was  _fuming_  about it. She asked if I liked the music and when I said yes, she got even angrier… ah, right, so I told her that she needed to lighten up, maybe get laid."

"And she took your advice to heart, then?" James said, knowing full well that if he had said what Sirius had, he would have gotten hexed.

"She kind of looked me up and down and said, 'not a bad idea,' and took my arm and dragged me off to the girl's dorm. The Grey Lady did  _not_  seem happy to see me, but Barnes said I was with her and took me to her dorm room," Sirius said, pausing to take another drink of water. "No one else was there so she locked the door and started taking her clothes off."

"What is it about you that compels girls to get naked in front of you?" James sighed, clearly frustrated with this tale.

"My devilish good looks, I suppose. It's a curse, really," Sirius said as though this was a problem that troubled him deeply. He then paused, thoughtful. "I wonder if it works on boys, too."

"So, how was she?" Peter asked.

"Need details to picture yourself in my place later?" Sirius taunted. Peter knocked over the water jug again and Sirius cried out in pain. "Fuck you," he said weakly.

"Sorry, your charm's not working on me," Peter grinned. "Really though, how did it go?"

"She was bossy," Sirius said.  _"Very_  bossy. I kept going back and forth between finding it attractive and finding it annoying."

"So you got caught up with someone with  _experience_  this time," James said.

"Either that or she read loads about it, she  _is_  a Ravenclaw," Sirius shrugged. "I  _did_  learn a lot though, I'll give her that…"

"So, better or worse than your first attempt?" Remus asked, seeming more amused than anything, though the glint of curiosity in his eye was hard to hide.

Sirius considered this a moment. "Better, I guess? It was still awkward, but less so."

He slid his hands in his jacket pockets and paused, pulling out a folded piece of paper and unfolding it. He read what was written and his mouth fell open.

"What?" James said.

"Nothing," Sirius said, attempting to shove the parchment back in his pocket. James was too quick, though, and snatched it from his grasp.

"Damn it, Prongs—" Sirius started, getting up to try and grab it back, proceeding to stumble as his ankle got tangled in his blankets and fall on the floor.

"Did she give you a reading list?" James said, grinning broadly.

"Prongs!" Sirius groaned, scrambling to his feet as James leaped to his bed to avoid him.

"Let's see,  _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches,_   _Making Magic and Making Love: A Guide for Warlocks and Witches,_   _A Wizard's Oral Guide: Avoid Being Tongue-Tied,"_  James read the list aloud, gracefully moving out of Sirius' reach again.

"Does she just have this list memorized and ready to hand out? Are you the first to get this list?" Remus asked, cocking a brow. "Did she read them or did she get feedback from other people? I have questions."

" _From Sweet Nothings to Pillow Talk,_ and  _Wandwork for the Mature Wizard,"_  James said, finishing off the list. "Oh, we are buying  _all of these_  next time we go to Hogsmeade.

"Will they even sell them to us?" Peter laughed.

"The Ravenclaws apparently got their hands on them," James grinned, finally allowing Sirius to snatch back the list. "You've got to study up, Padfoot! What if there's a quiz?"

"Fuck you," Sirius growled.

"Not until you've read these books," James laughed.


	29. Something's Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This one was fun for me, I hope you guys enjoy it too, let me know!

_James nudged Remus in the ribs. When Remus glanced his way, he saw both James and Sirius giving him knowing smirks. Cheeks burning, Remus looked deliberately to his notes._

* * *

The Great Hall's ceiling showed a dreary grey as the snow continued to fall, heavy on the grounds. Lunch on Sundays was usually not as widely attended, due to students taking advantage of the day off to finish assignments, have snowball fights in the grounds, or take a nap while pretending that class would not be back in session the following day.

Emmeline was absent-mindedly picking at her sandwich while scribbling out another line to her charms essay, spread out on the bit of table in front of her. Dorcas sat across the table and slightly to the left of Emmeline's parchment, reaching for an apple from the nearby bowl as Marlene and Lily arrived and settled beside them.

"Missed you at breakfast," Dorcas commented as they sat down.

"We slept through it," Lily said, pulling over a platter of chicken and helping herself. "Well, most of it. By the time we would have gotten down here, it would have been over."

"I think a lot of people did that," Emmeline said, crossing a "T" before setting her quill down.

"Were you the talk of the common room again with your performances, Killer Queen?" Marlene said with a grin, taking a slice of shepherd's pie.

"No," Emmeline said bluntly, a bit coldly.

Lily and Marlene exchanged looks.

"Did something happen?" Lily said.

"Everyone in their common room was talking about Sirius having sex with Pam Barnes, I guess," Dorcas provided as Emmeline took a long drink of pumpkin juice. She set the goblet back down with more force than was probably necessary.

"Pam Barnes?" Marlene cringed. Dorcas nodded.

"He was really,  _really_  wasted last night," Lily said to Emmeline, trying to be helpful.

"Yeah, so was she, apparently, but she was certainly smug through the hangover today," Emmeline said. "And she gave me this look… I don't know, it's like she  _knew_  I liked him."

" _We_  didn't even know you liked him!" Marlene said. "I wouldn't put it past her to be so petty as to sleep with him to get to you but are you sure that was what happened?"

"No," Emmeline sighed. "I don't imagine I'm important enough for her to have noticed and made a point to do that. I think she just saw my face fall when I heard what happened and did the math."

"It was probably a one-time thing, I'm sure it doesn't mean anything," Lily said.

"They were probably just both at the right place at the right time and the right amount of drunk," Dorcas shrugged, taking another bite of her apple.

Emmeline made a non-committal noise and picked up her quill again, writing another line to her essay. The others exchanged glances again, unsure what to do to make her feel better.

"What happened with you and that Burch bloke?" Emmeline said finally, after a few more moments of mostly silence, outside the crunch of Dorcas' apple as she ate.

"Oh!" Marlene said, flushing slightly. "Well, uh, we didn't quite have sex."

"What's that mean?" Dorcas said, cocking a brow.

"We did just about everything else," the blonde said sheepishly. "He, um, he has talented hands, and a  _really_  talented—"

"We're eating, Marly," Lily said, gesturing to her plate.

Marlene turned further pink. "Well, uh, he asked me to Hogsmeade next month, the visit on Valentine's Day."

"Guess it'll just be the three of us, then," Dorcas said to Lily and Emmeline.

"Er,  _two_  of you," Lily said quietly.

"What happened?" Emmeline said.

Lily's eyes stayed focused on her plate for a moment, chewing rather slowly. Once she swallowed, she said, "Er, well, you know Gabriel Buckley, the chaser? We got to talking last night and, well, he asked me to Hogsmeade next month, too."

"Oh that's right, you were… you were over there on the sofa with him while Remus and I were passing the joint with the other musicians," Emmeline said, twirling her quill between her fingers.

"Guess this means you're over dear Remus?" Marlene smiled.

"I'm getting there," Lily shrugged. "I'm not so hung up on him that I wanted to say 'no' to Gabe."

"Ooh, he's  _Gabe_  now," Marlene teased.

"He was really nice, okay, we got caught up talking about  _Lord of the Flies_  of all things," Lily said. "I guess he's always sneaking muggle books around, he was telling me that he makes covers that look like wizard books so that he can read them around campus without drawing attention."

"My house does that quite a bit, honestly, we end up with a lot of books we shouldn't," Emmeline said. "But Gabe is nice. I remember first year I couldn't figure out the riddle to get into the common room and he helped me get in."

"Should Em and I check in on you two at some point during your dates?" Dorcas asked. The previous year, Marlene had implemented a system so that in the event that a date was going disastrously, she could easily slip away with an excuse provided by one of her friends at a set time.

"Hmm. Probably. The usual signal," Marlene said, referring to her practice of scratching her nose if she needed rescuing and tugging her ear if she was okay.

One particularly terrible date the previous year left her scratching her nose so violently that she nearly drew blood.

"I think I'll be okay," Lily said.

"You'll want the option to be rescued," Marlene said. "Trust me."

"What excuses shall we use this time?" Emmeline said to Dorcas, sounding somewhat bored.

"Hmm," Dorcas said, pondering as she set her apple core aside. "Marlene, you have to come with us, your cat has fallen ill!"

"I don't have a cat," Marlene said.

"Does Benjamin know that?" Emmeline said.

"I don't know, honestly."

"Lily, your owl has flown into the whomping willow and might not make it, come on!" Dorcas said.

"I don't have an owl," Lily said.

"You two need to get a pet," Dorcas sighed. "How about, McGonagall wants you right now? I think she found out about you-know-what?"

"What's 'you-know-what?'" Marlene asked.

Dorcas shrugged. "Something bad enough that McGonagall needs to speak to you right in the middle of your terrible date."

"What if one of you faints and I have to take you to the hospital wing?" Marlene suggested. "That one always works out pretty well."

"I fainted last time, Dorcas can faint this time," Emmeline said.

"But you're better at it," Lily said. "Dorcas over-acts."

"I'm supposed to draw attention to myself, aren't I?" Dorcas said.

"You're a better fainter, is all," Lily said to Emmeline.

"I'll keep that in mind, I suppose," Emmeline sighed. "But if I faint every time Marlene dates someone, surely it will look suspicious."

"It's been at least four dates since you fainted," Marlene protested.

"Two," Dorcas corrected. "Remember that disaster with Howard Glass?"

"Oh, right," Marlene cringed. "Well, hopefully rescues will be unnecessary this time."

* * *

Students filed into Defense Against the Dark Arts the next day, sleepily and muttering among themselves. Lily and Marlene were quietly discussing their upcoming Hogsmeade dates as Emmeline flipped open a tattered notebook atop her notes for class and began scribbling inside.

"Did you hear, Jackson?" Sirius said from the row behind them as Gerald headed for the seat beside Emmeline.

"Hear what?" Gerald said.

"Apparently, you and I had sex in a broom cupboard on Saturday," Sirius snorted.

"Really? You should have said something, I'd have paid more attention," Gerald laughed. "Where'd you hear that anyway, Bertha Jorkins?"

"Obviously," James said. "Came by and interrogated him all through breakfast."

"Hm, yes, not the best thing for my appetite, having her ask such graphic questions," Remus said with a roll of the eye.

"I'm not entirely sure that half of what she asked is physically possible," Peter said.

"I dunno," Gerald said, taking his seat at last. "I'm pretty flexible."

MacPherson strolled inside as the bell rang, locking the door behind him.

"Please open your books to chapter twelve," MacPherson said as he began tapping the chalkboard irritably with his wand, the enchantment Sirius had put on it back in September still causing him grief.

After the sound of flipping pages had died down, Remus put his hand in the air. Peter, James, and Sirius exchanged smirks and got comfortable.

"What is it  _now,_  Lupin? Usually you at least wait until I've started my lecture," MacPherson all but growled.

"Sir, aren't we supposed to be on chapter eleven? Dementors and the Patronus Charm?" Remus asked.

"We're skipping that chapter, useless and needlessly complicated spell," MacPherson said simply.

"How is being able to defend yourself against Dementors useless?" Remus said, cocking a brow.

"Dementors guard Azkaban. If you don't wish to be harmed by a dementor, I suggest you don't get sent there," MacPherson sneered.

Lily raised her hand. "What, Miss Evans?"

"Er, is Azkaban the only place there  _are_  dementors, though? Are there not wild dementors?" she asked.

"All you need to know about dementors is that they feed on happiness and the dementors kiss sucks out your soul. Don't go to Azkaban and you needn't deal with them," MacPherson said as though he were explaining a simple subject to someone very stupid.

"So you don't think there's any chance of any of them  _ever_  leaving Azkaban?" Remus said.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for failing to raise your hand  _again,_  Mr. Lupin. Now, chapter twelve," MacPherson said, turning his attention back to the room at large.

Remus sighed heavily, flipping the pages of his secondhand book from chapter eleven to chapter twelve.

Gryffindor was currently in fourth place in the house cup, and Remus, Alice, and Frank's arguments with MacPherson (along with the Marauders' usual antics) were largely to blame. Ravenclaw was in third, also prone to correcting MacPherson. Hufflepuff and Slytherin were in first and second, respectfully.

As Remus struggled to take notes, he vaguely considered the house points and found it difficult to care anymore. Sirius found the whole thing nonsensical, stating that if the only perk was the great hall being decorated your colors, who cared?

James sort of cared. Winning meant bragging rights and he did love bragging rights, though at this point he supposed that losing as badly as they were almost gave bragging rights just the same.

Sirius said the house cup went to the safest, least offensive, most boring house. James insisted it went to the house that managed to get caught less than the others. Peter tended to agree with whoever was talking at the moment.

It didn't matter much eater way, Gryffindor's points were so weak that there was little chance of winning. Not unless Remus, Alice, and Frank each stopped attending MacPherson's class.

Remus was in the middle of wondering if he would still be allowed to take the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. after dropping the class while staring intently at the back of Emmeline's head when MacPherson stopped before her, watching her. She didn't seem to notice until he had pried the notebook she'd been writing in out of her grasp and looked at it.

"Let's see, Miss Vance, what is more important than listening to my lecture?" he said. Remus couldn't see her face, but Emmeline appeared frozen in the spot.

"I—I'm sorry, I'll put it away," she mumbled hastily.

"It appears we have a poet in our class," MacPherson said, still holding Emmeline's notebook.

"Please, I'll put it away," Emmeline said, her voice small but desperate.

But MacPherson ignored her pleas. He cleared his throat and began to read aloud.  _"I was a fool for believing that with bare hands I'd catch the wind. I know you're always out of reach, but I can feel you on my skin."_

James nudged Remus in the ribs. When Remus glanced his way, he saw both James and Sirius giving him knowing smirks. Cheeks burning, Remus looked deliberately to his notes.

Meanwhile, with every word, Emmeline sank lower and lower in her seat.

" _And still you slip through my fingers, because my dear, I'll never learn. You're just too wild to be mine. I should leave and never return,"_  MacPherson read, closing the notebook as he finished. "How  _touching._  But it's a bit of a simple rhyme scheme isn't it, Miss Vance? You can get this back from Professor Flitwick at the end of the day, I'll be discussing your disregard for class with him. Ten points from Ravenclaw."

He set the notebook back on his desk and a couple of students snickered. Remus knew that James, Sirius, and Peter were laughing at  _him_  more than Emmeline.

The girl hunched over her notes, allowing her hair to shield her face from her classmates.

Lily gently rubbed Emmeline's shoulder for a moment, she and Marlene both casting her sympathetic glances. Remus heard the undeniable sniffle of someone on the verge of tears and pity for her settled in his stomach.

The minutes seemed to go slower now as MacPherson continued his lesson. Emmeline barely moved, only writing a small amount of notes.

When finally the end of class came, the bell hardly finished ringing before Emmeline had grabbed her things and darted out of the room, purposefully avoiding everyone's gaze.

Lily and Marlene hastily stuffed their things back in their bags before rushing after her, dodging around other students to get by. The Marauders were in less of a hurry.

"She thinks you're  _wild,_  Moony," James grinned, his tone hushed so any lingering students couldn't hear as he packed his bag.

A thought crashed into Remus so suddenly, he felt as though he had been punched. "Y—you don't think she  _knows_  do you?"

"Nah, I overheard them all talking a while back about someone looking dangerous and how that made them  _sexy,"_  Sirius taunted. He paused, eyes widening. "Moony, you were there!"

"What?" Remus said.

"It was in the library, I was going to bother you when I found them talking about someone having a real dangerous and sexy vibe and they got all weird when I asked who they were talking about," Sirius said, looking to be on the edge of laughter again.

"She thinks you're wild and dangerous and  _sexy,_  Mate!" Peter said, clapping Remus on the back.

Remus nearly dropped his books.

Him?  _Sexy?_

* * *

With the Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff game finally out of the way, the other teams might finally get a chance to get on the Quidditch pitch to actually practice and James was taking advantage. It was a rough, cold practice, with the wind still ruthless and terrible visibility even with the sun still out.

The team had cheered when James reluctantly called for an early end to the practice. They struggled to keep the door to the locker room open long enough against the wind to all file in, shivering and drawing in snow as they went.

"I hate winter, I hate winter, I hate winter," Douglas mumbled. Gwen took out her wand and got to work melting the snow that had been tracked in.

"Okay, okay, now that we are back inside," James said, pulling open his locker and taking out an envelope. "I can show you guys what I got in the mail this morning."

"I didn't realize we went through all of this to see a letter from your mum," Wanda said, rubbing her hands together.

"Not  _my_  mum," James said, fishing a photo from the envelope and holding it in front of him. There was a baby bundled in a red onesie and gripping a snitch-shaped rattle. The baby looked sleepy and sure enough let out a huge yawn.

"Merlin! Is that Jolene's baby?" Marlene said, taking the photo from his hands and looking closer. The others gathered around to see.

"Yep, she had him at the end of November, that's Oliver Wood," James said. "She finally had five minutes to send an owl, I guess."

"Awww, look at his widdle feet!" Marlene practically cooed.

"He looks like Nick," Lawrence said.

"Nah, he looks just like Jolene!" Wanda said.

"And his widdle fingers and his widdle nose," Marlene continued to fawn over the photograph. "I love babies."

"Don't you mean you  _wove_  them?" James snorted, taking back the photo.

"I can't believe Jolene's a  _mum_  now," Wanda said with a heavy sigh. "I can't imagine!"

"I know, she was  _just_  here, playing Quidditch and now she's… responsible for another person," Douglas said, seeming terrified of the notion.

"I think she'll make a fine mum," Marlene said, shuffling through her locker for her towels. "She throws herself into everything five-hundred percent."

"She'll be even better if the kid's good at Quidditch," Mary said.

Lawrence groaned a bit. "Here's hoping. My dad is still disappointed I wasn't a chess prodigy like he was."

"Well, my parents didn't expect me to be a witch at all, but they  _are_  thrilled I'm on a team," Mary said with a smile.

"Ugh, I'm the fifth of five, okay? Mallory was head girl and chaser for Gryffindor, Max was chaser for Gryffindor, Miles was prefect and keeper for Hufflepuff, and Michael is chaser for Hufflepuff. I don't think I'd be allowed to call myself a McKinnon if I didn't make it on the team," Marlene sighed. "Even my  _parents_  were on their house teams when they were here. Dad was a seeker for Hufflepuff and Mum was a beater for Gryffindor. She actually sent him to the hospital wing twice."

"How romantic," Wanda laughed. "My parents are rubbish at Quidditch, my Mum's terrified of heights and my dad prefers to criticize from the ground."

"My dad goes all 'Coach Dad' too, it's the worst," Douglas cringed.

"At least none of your parents went to school with McGonagall," Gwen sighed heavily, slamming her locker shut once she pulled out her towels. "Ever since I made the team, my mum's always sending her letters making sure that my flying technique hasn't been getting worse  _and_  that I'm keeping up with all my assignments."

"My mum did, McGonagall joined the team my mum's last year," Marlene said. "Thankfully they didn't keep in touch."

"What about you, James, your parents big Quidditch stars?" Mary asked.

"Not really, Dad can play but he says he would have never made the team, he was too concerned with potions. Mum is fair at it but never tried out, said she wasn't dedicated enough to commit that much time to it," James said. "But my granddad was a chaser, he bought me my first real broom. He died before I got to Hogwarts, though."

"I'm sure he still knows you made the team," Wanda nodded.

James shrugged. "Hope so. He used to spend  _hours_  going over Quidditch with me and taking me flying, Ol' Grandpa Harry."

Through reminiscing, soon enough the team had shuffled off to the showers, eager to turn on the hot water and thaw out their still-freezing skin. James was one of the first to leave the locker room, though he did not go to dinner like most of the others. Instead, he ducked behind a nearby pillar where Sirius threw the invisibility cloak over his head.

"Where's Moony?" James said, taking note of the rat on Sirius' shoulder and the lack of their fourth friend.

"Tutoring for Arithmancy, the nerd," Sirius said, sounding disgusted at the notion. Wormtail squeaked in agreement. The map was in Sirius' hands, unfolded enough to display the Quidditch pitch. A few feet away there was a click of the door as Gwen and Wanda left, chattering among themselves as they went.

"We're just waiting on MacDonald now, yeah?" James said.

"Yeah, she's walking to her locker now, shouldn't be too long from here," Sirius said, pointing at Mary's dot on the map. Over in the showers still was a dot labeled "Marlene McKinnon."

"I hope she doesn't take too long, it's freezing out here," James mumbled, his hair still wet from showering.

"Dry your hair with your wand, you're a wizard, aren't you?" Sirius said, eyes still on the map.

"It always dries weird when I do that, it gets like… fluffy or something," James said, cringing at the thought.

Wormtail squeaked, and having not been transformed, Sirius and James had absolutely no idea what he said. Still, Sirius said, "I agree, Worm, obviously hypothermia is preferable to fluffy hair, James has the right idea."

"It'll dry soon enough," James said, though he shivered slightly. A few moments later there was another click of the door as Mary left the locker room, mumbling to herself about an essay she had to finish after dinner.

They watched the map for a few more seconds, making sure that Marlene was still firmly in the shower and that no one else was anywhere nearby. Once they were certain, they crept to the door of the locker room and slipped inside, pulling off the cloak once the door was closed. Wormtail jumped off of Sirius' shoulder and transformed back into Peter now that they didn't have to fit under the cloak, landing clumsily as he went.

"All right, we'd better move fast, just in case she decides to take a shorter shower than usual for some reason," James said, sneaking to the entrance to the girl's showers.

Sirius approached the locker he knew to be Marlene's and tapped the lock with his wand. "Alohomora!"

The locker clicked open without protest. Peter sat on the nearby bench, eyes darting between the map and Sirius, who was now pulling the vest, skirt, shirt, socks, and tie that Marlene had worn to classes that day and stuffing it all in a bag.

"You can leave her the tie," Peter said.

"I suppose that's true," Sirius said, tossing it back in the locker. James returned with an armful of Marlene's Quidditch uniform, which she had left folded on the sink and shoved it in the bag as well.

"Is that another bra? She had a bra in this pile! Do girls change their bras throughout the day?" James said, eyeing the brassiere in Sirius' hands.

"Maybe she has one specifically for Quidditch?" Sirius shrugged, shoving the one in his hands in the bag as well. "I think that's everything."

"Do you feel better?" James asked, taking the map from Peter, who transformed back into Wormtail. He set the rat on his shoulder and climbed back under the cloak.

Sirius pulled the cloak over his head as well as they headed out of the locker room. "Hm… I guess."

* * *

Lily was growing increasingly concerned for her friends.

She hadn't seen Emmeline since the Ravenclaw rushed out of Defense Against The Dark Arts. Lily and Marlene had lost track of her as soon as they got out of the classroom, and she hadn't turned up for lunch  _or_  dinner.

Usually Emmeline still showed up for meals, even if she had her head on the table and proceeded to lament the entire time.

Dorcas seemed less concerned than Lily had been, stating that sometimes people just needed to be left alone for a little while, and that perhaps after some alone time Emmeline would feel better in the morning.

But then there was Marlene. She always took long showers after Quidditch practice, it was expected by now that she wouldn't show up to dinner until a little later on the days she had practice.

But the blonde had never shown up  _at all._  This deeply concerned Lily, as the rest of the team was there and made a point to stuff their faces after a difficult practice.

So, where was Marlene? What excuse did she have to avoid dinner? She had to be hungry, surely. Her private writing hadn't been shared with the class that morning, and even at that, Marlene tended to have thicker skin than Emmeline did.

So  _where_  was she?

Lily pulled her robe back on, careful to make sure that her prefect badge was present. She had patrol tonight, and damn it if she was not going to use that as an excuse to track down Marlene and find out what was wrong.

But as Lily entered the common room from the girls dorm, the portrait hole swung open and proved Lily's plan to be entirely unnecessary.

Several wolf whistles and catcalls filled the air as Marlene carefully climbed through the portrait hole, wearing nothing but a towel, which one hand never left

She was glaring daggers and marched right past a few catcalling boys. Her posture was perfect and her target was clear: The Marauders.

"What did you do with my clothes!?" she demanded the group as she approached them, goosebumps covering her body from cold.

"I don't know what you're talking about, McKinnon, but that's not a very large towel, is it?" James commented with a smile. Lily was already pulling off the outer robe of her uniform.

"What did you  _do?!_  I can't summon them, it didn't work!" Marlene practically growled.

"Marly, what  _happened?"_ Lily said, hastily approaching the girl and throwing her robe over her shoulders.

"I got out of the shower and all my clothes were missing! My Quidditch uniform, my school uniform, everything!" Marlene said. "I know it was you lot! I had to wait until dinner was over so I wouldn't run into anyone on my way back."

"You can search our dorms, the clothes aren't there!" Peter said, holding his hands up as though to show he was unarmed. "Check our bags even!"

"I'm not involved in this conversation," Remus mumbled, very interested in chapter eleven of the Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. "I have an alibi, I was tutoring, Lily saw me."

"Git," Sirius hissed at him.

"We don't have your clothes, McKinnon," James said again, still smiling.

"Seems a bit too simple of a prank for us, really," Sirius added, doing everything possible still to avoid Marlene's eye.

" _You!"_  Marlene snarled at Sirius. "You bitter jackass, I said I was sorry! What more do you want?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius said, eyes fixed on his essay.

"Grow the  _fuck_  up, you  _immature—"_  Marlene said, grabbing for his inkwell with her free hand. She hastily upturned it and emptied its contents on his head, ink dripping down his face and onto his essay. "—dickhead! Get over it!"

Sirius was on his feet now, making eye contact with Marlene for the first time in weeks if only so they could exchange venomous looks.

"You know, I don't even blame these idiots, they're just going along with you because they're your friend, but  _you_ —" Marlene said.

"Me!?  _You—"_  Sirius started.

"OKAY!" Lily shouted, cutting them both off. "I'm going to stop both of you right there. Come  _on,_  Marly."

Lily shoved the girl in the direction of their dormitory, glaring at anyone she saw getting ready to comment. At her glance they quickly fell back and went about their business.

"Well, that honestly went a bit better than expected," James said with a nod.

"Really?" Sirius demanded, gesturing to the ink still dripping from his person.

"We didn't get detention, did we?" Peter pointed out.

Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius.  _"Scourgify!"_

The ink vanished from Sirius' hair, skin, and clothes as he settled back into his seat. There were mutterings nearby and he glanced over to see several of their housemates staring.

"What are you looking at?" he snarled and they darted away almost immediately.

"So," James said casually. "How long do you suppose it will take for them to figure out where we've put her clothes?"

* * *

Marlene pulled her pajamas on, muttering foul names under her breath as she went.

"You okay?" Lily asked, putting her robe back on now that Marlene had access to clothes and didn't need the extra coverage.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm just annoyed," Marlene said sharply, plopping down on her bed, her towel discarded over her trunk now. "I mean, I knew they were going to prank me at some point and I know that it could have been  _much_  worse but damn it, I thought maybe he was over it since he went and shagged Pam Barnes, you know?"

"Well, apparently not," Lily said with a frown. "They still shouldn't have stolen your clothes, especially not with it being so cold. I'm going back down there, I'm giving them—"

"Don't give them detention, we don't have any proof," Marlene sighed.

Lily crossed her arms before her. "Who else could have done it?"

"That doesn't matter, we don't have any proof, and it'll just make them hate me more than they already do. Or, rather, it'll make Sirius hate me more than he already does," Marlene said.

"You still want to be friends with him, don't you?" Lily groaned.

"I don't know! I  _do_  know that I'm tired of him being mad at me. I'm tired of all of this, I wish we could go back to before we had sex and we could just joke around and be friends, but at this point I'd settle for him not giving me the cold shoulder all the time or plotting against me," Marlene said, lying back against her pillows and staring up at the ceiling.

"Well, you know they say time heals all wounds, maybe he just hasn't had enough of it," Lily shrugged. "And maybe he'll lay off now that he's properly pranked you."

"I hope so," Marlene said. She pulled herself back to a seated position and ran her fingers through her hair. "Anyway, did Emmeline end up showing up for dinner?"

"No," Lily said, shaking her head. "I was hoping maybe you had run into her on your way up here, actually."

Marlene shook her head as well. "Not a sign of her. I wonder if she went to the rest of her classes."

"I don't know, Defense Against the Dark Arts is the only class I've got with her today," Lily said with a shrug. "It's not like her to ditch."

"Sirius has got Ancient Runes with her," Marlene said. "Asking him requires  _talking_  to him, of course. And hoping that he takes notice when she's there or not."

"I'm… not going to lie, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't notice," Lily frowned. "I mean she's so quiet, especially around him."

"Well, and you heard him and James and Peter laughing when MacPherson read her poem," Marlene said. "At least Remus had the decency not to."

"Poor Emmeline, as if it wasn't embarrassing enough to have your love poem read aloud to the class, to have the subject of it laugh at it…"

"Maybe we should start encouraging her to look at other boys," Marlene said. Lily nodded.

"I mean I don't want to discourage her," the redhead said.

"No, I don't either," Marlene said. "But maybe Sirius isn't  _right_  for her, you know?"

"Maybe he isn't right for  _anyone_ ," Lily said. "She's scheduled for patrol tonight, hopefully I'll be able to track her down and check on her."

"And if not, maybe she's just hiding out in her dorm, we can raise the alarm to Flitwick tomorrow," Marlene said.

"Right," Lily said, unsure if she'd be able to get through the night without being able to check on her friend herself. "I'd better go, though, patrol starts soon."

"Have fun," Marlene said mockingly as Lily head to the door leading to the staircase.

Once she reached the common room, she walked straight for Sirius, in conversation with the other Marauders.

"Black," Lily said. In the corner of her eye, she spied James reaching for his hair.

"Look if you're here about McKinnon—" he started, clearly annoyed.

"No. None of us have seen Emmeline since this morning, I was wondering if you noticed if she was in Ancient Runes today," Lily said.

Sirius seemed confused for a moment and then thoughtful. "Er, no, she wasn't. Imagine she was still embarrassed about MacPherson's class."

He and James snickered slightly and in an instant Lily had her wand out, pointing it at Sirius. "If you—if  _any_  of you—make fun of her for that, I can promise that you will wake up covered in boils that will  _not_  go away without a trip to St. Mungos."

"Can you  _do_  that?" James said, sounding vaguely impressed.

"Don't test me," Lily said. "I don't want to hear a word of taunting about that, do you hear me?"

There were murmurs of agreement from the four boys.

"Good," Lily said, turning to leave.

"Er, Evans, wait!" Peter said suddenly.

"What?" Lily asked.

"In potions today we overheard Mulciber laughing about someone going to the hospital wing in Herbology," Peter said.

"They didn't say  _who_ ," Sirius said. "I mean, they  _do_  have that class with the Ravenclaws, but—"

"Well they said 'that half-breed,'" James said, brow furrowed. "I mean I don't know how many half-bloods are in Ravenclaw in our year but—Evans?"

But Lily was already rushing out of the common room.


	30. Do You Remember That Day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I hope if you celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday that it went well and you weren't cornered into any awkward discussions about politics or your future or something. I had a weird week leading up to Thanksgiving dealing with someone using my art without permission so that was... fun. Let me know what you think of this chapter!

_"I'm part of the quartet!"_

* * *

Remus went off to start patrol shortly after Lily had rushed out in an attempt to locate Emmeline. His mind was swimming through the day's events, succeeding in nothing short of making him more and more exhausted.

He found himself wishing he had the night off from patrol, wanting nothing more than to finish up his essay for Slughorn and go straight to bed. The full moon was still a full six days away, but he always grew so tired in the week leading up to it.

It would be a lie to say that he hadn't considered tucking himself into one of the secret passageways and taking a nap. Who would know, really, that he had ditched prefect duties for that?

Mr. Bertram, certainly. Remus was almost positive that the moment he shut his eyes, the damned cat would appear and go fetch its master.

And so he trudged on, yawning hugely as he went, and glancing out the windows at the grounds, snow still steadily falling. He was just wondering if Lily had managed to track down Emmeline when he heard a pair of familiar voices.

" _He's lucky that Venomous Tentacula wasn't mature yet, you could have died!"_

" _No kidding. I'm dropping Herbology next year."_

" _That's not really the main issue here, Em."_

Remus turned the corner and found Emmeline sitting on a windowsill as Lily fiddled with a bandage on her outstretched arm.

"What happened to you?" Remus asked as he approached, his stomach sinking to know that she had, in fact, been the one Mulciber had been referring to in potions class.

"Fucking Mulciber shoved her into a Venomous Tentacula in Herbology today," Lily scowled, still carefully wrapping the bandage.

"Why aren't you at the hospital wing?" Remus said, eying the bandages.

"I was, for most of the day. Promfrey gave me a potion I've got to re-apply, Lily's just helping me with the bandage because it's a bit hard to wrap with my non-dominant hand," Emmeline said, sighing heavily as she pocketed a small vial.

"What's Mulciber playing at?" Remus asked, irritation clear in his voice as it was in Lily's. There was the chance that it was an accident, but Remus knew that crowd better. He had overheard the cruel laughter.

"He thinks I cursed him before the holiday, he's been making snide remarks ever since term started about me and about my mum," Emmeline said.

"What is their issue with your mother? They act as though your father is the first pureblood to marry a muggle," Lily said.

Emmeline glanced between the two and sighed heavily. "My dad doesn't have a great reputation in the pureblood community… it's…"

Lily tapped the end of the bandage with her wand to keep it in place. "There you go."

"Thanks," Emmeline said, pulling her sleeve over the bandages and staring at her shoes. "And, well. My mum isn't my dad's first wife."

"Was he a widower?" Lily asked.

"No, he divorced his first wife," Emmeline said. Remus shifted uncomfortably, having already heard this part, and also knowing very well who had cast the spells that Mulciber was blaming Emmeline for now.

The combination of that and possibly being the subject of the poem that had embarrassed her so greatly that morning left the boy feeling exceptionally guilty.

"Well, divorce is becoming more and more common, they should really get a better reason to hate your mother," Lily said. "I mean, I'm sure she wasn't a homewrecker."

Emmeline was silent for a moment, still staring at her shoes.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked her, setting a hand to her shoulder.

"I just didn't think so many people would  _know_  about it, and hold it against  _me,"_  she said softly.

"What do you have to do with your father's divorce?" Lily said, brow furrowed.

"Well, I was a contributing factor, you could say," Emmeline sighed. She glanced up at last. "Look, if I… If I tell you two, will you please not spread it around any more than it already has spread?"

"Of course," Lily said, looking concerned now.

"I can definitely keep a secret," Remus nodded, hoping he didn't seem to eager to hear the story that was clearly eating away at Emmeline to some degree.

"The way my dad tells the story is that he didn't really believe in love, that he found the notion of it to be sort of silly, and didn't really feel one way or another about marriage. So, he wasn't very concerned when my grandparents set up an arranged marriage between him and Genevieve Greengrass," Emmeline said. "It was a proper, pureblood marriage, and it got him some good connections in the ministry when his grades weren't enough. They married when they were each twenty, and they were married for seventeen years."

"Seventeen years?" Lily repeated, surprised. Her own parents had been married about twenty.

"Just about," Emmeline nodded. "Dad says it was an all right marriage, that they got along fine. Their biggest issue was that she wanted to have a baby. He said she miscarried twice, like their bloodlines didn't  _want_  to mix. Anyway, my dad said that in his youth he was always a certain degree of indifferent to the plight of muggles, but that he really loved muggle music. So, without telling his wife, he would sneak out with some of his friends to go to muggle clubs and listen to music. This was when my mum was a club singer, and that's how they met."

"How long had he been married at that point?" Remus asked.

"Sixteen years," Emmeline sighed. "My mum was only nineteen. She said Dad came to the club every night she sang and didn't say a word to her for weeks before he got the courage to buy her a drink. And they hit it off. She knew he was married and he said he didn't love his wife, which was true. He said he didn't know what love was before he met her, and Mum tells me that from anyone else, she would have felt like it was a line, but for some reason she believed him. So, they started having an affair. No one in the wizard world was the wiser. His wife didn't know, no one at work knew, none of his friends he would sneak out to the clubs knew. He broke the statute of secrecy and told her he was a wizard. He performed magic for her. He told her about the blood prejudice in our world. He told her about  _everything_  in our world."

"He could have gotten in so much trouble," Lily said. "Breaking the statute like that."

Emmeline smiled half-heartedly. "I haven't gotten that far. My dad had been trying to break things off with Genevieve for a while, but she wouldn't hear it. Someone needed to legally take the blame for the divorce to go through and he wouldn't admit to an affair and she didn't want to divorce in the first place. Then my mum found out she was pregnant with me and told my dad that she was having me whether he was going to be there or not, but if he was going to be there, she was done sneaking around.

"So my dad finally told Genevieve about the affair, hoping to push the divorce through. But it wasn't that easy. Genevieve was humiliated, and she wasn't about to let him have the quiet, quick divorce he hoped for. It became a very public thing, and the Greengrasses made sure everyone knew that my father had cheated on Genevieve with a muggle, a muggle prostitute specifically, and that he'd gotten the muggle pregnant and had been blackmailed into leaving Genevieve for her. How my mother could have blackmailed my father, I don't know. You'd think logic would say that if she had any information on him or something, he could simply modify her memory. But that's what most of those stuffy purebloods believe, that my mum is some kind of seductress that purposefully sought out a happily married pureblood wizard in order to corrupt him."

"They really think your mother is a prostitute?" Lily said. Emmeline nodded.

"Yep. Mum has a good attitude about it, she's mostly concerned with how expensive everyone thinks she was," she said. "But since it was so high-profile, the Ministry found out that he had broken the statute of secrecy."

"Well, you're allowed to tell a muggle if you have a child with them," Remus said. "That's what my dad told me anyway, though my mum knew before they got married, actually."

"A lot of people tell before a child is involved, but they don't usually get  _caught_. Dad told Mum long before she got pregnant with me, and had to go to a hearing about it. He said the fact that she  _was_  pregnant probably saved him from harsher sentencing, but he had to pay a huge fine and he lost his job at the Department of Magical Games and Sports because he was seen as untrustworthy," Emmeline said. "Anyway, he finally got the divorce and he and my mum got married in a courthouse the next day. I was born a few months later. Dad's family doesn't talk to us because he disgraced the family. Mum's family doesn't talk to us much either, because she got pregnant out of wedlock, and I am the product of both of these things."

The three of them were silent for a time, Emmeline fiddling with the bandage that Lily had just fixed for her. Lily glanced nervously at Remus, as though searching for the right thing to say, though Remus was as clueless as she was.

Finally, the redhead opened her mouth and said, "Your parents seem so happy!"

"Oh, they are," Emmeline nodded, managing a smile. "Dad said the whole thing was worth it to get to be with Mum, that he's never been happier than he has been with her. He had to start at the bottom but he's doing well in Muggle liaisons now, and Mum saved enough to open her restaurant. They always made it very clear to me that they didn't regret any of what happened. The thing is, a lot of people sure would like them to."

"Sort of rubbish that people are giving  _you_  a hard time about it, you didn't do anything," Remus frowned.

"I was born," Emmeline sighed heavily. "And to some people, being born when your mother is a muggle, a muggle  _whore_  that destroyed a proper pureblood marriage, is crime enough."

Lily frowned before pulling Emmeline into a tight hug, leaving the girl wincing slightly as pressure was applied to her bandages. "Well, I'm glad that marriage didn't work out. I'm glad that your dad, a 'pureblood,' went to a muggle club to listen to music and met a muggle singer. I'm glad they got together because now we have you."

"That's nice of you to say," Emmeline said as Lily released her from her grasp.

"I mean it," Lily said. "You're more important than a marriage that fell apart sixteen years ago and no one should be giving you shit for that."

"You can rest assured that we won't, at least," Remus said. "We half-breeds have to stick together, hm?"

Emmeline smiled again. "Thank you."

"And if it makes you feel better, I mean, James and Sirius are pureblood and didn't have a clue why everyone's so caught up about your mum, maybe the purebloods don't gossip as much as previously thought," Remus said.

"I'm sure they just don't pay much attention," Emmeline said with a shrug. "And the Potters have been well-known 'blood traitors' for generations now, I'm sure they're not in on all the petty gossip."

"Perhaps," Remus said.

"But the point is that most people don't care who your parents are, decent people don't care who your parents are. Or mine, or Remus' or anyone else's," Lily said.

"Tell that to the Slug Club," Emmeline snorted.

Lily frowned and seemed to consider this a moment. "You know, you're right. I didn't think so because he let me in when my parents aren't anyone important but if he's shutting  _you_  out—"

"I don't take it that seriously, really—" Emmeline started.

"No, he lets Pam Barnes in there and you sing circles around her!" Lily said. "I'm going to mention it to him next time, I'm—"

"Aw, Lily, I appreciate it," Emmeline said, setting a hand to the girl's shoulder to interrupt. "But I don't want him to let me in to his favorites club because you told him to, you know?"

"Hmph," Lily said, crossing her arms before her chest. "Can I at least mention how good of a singer you are to him? I keep mentioning how good Dorcas is at Quidditch and I think he's ready to give  _her_  an invite…"

"If you must," Emmeline sighed, though she was still smiling.

"We should start our own club," Remus said. "We can read comic books and eat muggle snacks."

"Sounds like Sunday afternoon," Lily snorted.

"There's some Hufflepuffs that always want to start a club for Muggle Media but it's really discouraged because of everything going on right now," Emmeline said. "Guess we'll have to stick to reading comics and listening to muggle music in private."

Music brought to mind songs, and songs, poetry, which left Remus asking suddenly, "Er, did you ever get your notebook back, by the way?"

Emmeline turned red. "Oh, yeah. Flitwick gave MacPherson a hard time, actually, said that he would think a Ravenclaw would be well aware of a student's ability to work on creative outlets while still listening to the lecture."

"James draws in most of our classes and still remembers the lecture, yeah, it's annoying," Remus said. More than once James had remembered something that Remus had forgotten, all while working on one drawing or another.

"It was nice of Flitwick to say but I definitely wasn't listening to MacPherson," Emmeline frowned. "I just… I had to write it down before it went away from me, I guess."

"Not much is lost, not listening to MacPherson," Remus said.

"I can't believe he's not teaching us about Dementors," Lily said, her slight outrage that had been present the whole conversation latching on to this now. "I really wanted to learn about that. They've, well, they've always really frightened me, honestly, I'd  _like_  to know how to defend against them."

"Do you suppose you could go over it a bit in the study group?" Emmeline said, and Remus gulped slightly as her blue eyes met his, having been unprepared for eye contact. "I'd hate for it to come up on O.W.L.s otherwise."

"I—I was thinking about it, yeah," Remus said. "The Patronus charm is supposed to be really hard, mostly because you're in such a scary, vulnerable place when you're supposed to be casting it, and so much is having control over your emotions. We can't bring in a Dementor to practice on, though, so I guess we can just do what we can with what we have…"

"Well, if anyone can teach it, I'm sure you can," Lily said encouragingly. Emmeline nodded.

"Professor Lupin," the Ravenclaw whispered, tauntingly.

"Shut up, Killer Queen," Remus said with a small smile, though he could feel heat rushing to his face once more and prayed they wouldn't notice. Emmeline giggled.

* * *

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas huddled close together as they headed for the greenhouses for Herbology. It had finally stopped snowing, but the wind was still ever-present and the piles of snow surrounding them served as nothing but means to chill the air as it went by.

"At least the greenhouses are warm on the inside, not like yesterday in Care of Magical Creatures," Dorcas said, teeth chattering as she thought of having to remain outside for the entirety of that lesson.

"At least we're wearing more than just a towel," Marlene mumbled.

"Professor Kettleburn said we should be back in the castle next week, at least," Lily said.

"Starting to think we should have taken Ancient Runes with Emmeline," Dorcas said. As they approached the greenhouse where they would have class, they found a group of their classmates looking up toward the castle, laughing and pointing.

"What's up?" Dorcas asked Brenda, one of her housemates.

"Check out Gryffindor tower," Brenda snickered.

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas each turned, squinting into the sky to see the tall Gryffindor Tower, not too far off. At the very top, fluttering in the wind beneath the red and gold Gryffindor flag, was a bra, a pair of knickers, a pleated skirt, a button-up shirt, a pair of socks, a Gryffindor uniform robe, and a set of Quidditch robes.

"Those  _gits,"_  Marlene said, mouth open.

"Well, at least you know where your clothes are now," Dorcas said softly, hoping not to draw attention to the fact that the lacey undergarments fluttering in the breeze belonged to Marlene.

The Marauders strolled up, grinning upon seeing the crowd looking up at their work. Marlene scowled.

"Boys, we must show respect!" James said, setting down his bag in a mound of snow.

"Certainly!" Peter agreed.

The four boys turned, each sending their right hand to their heart as they did so, in sync to the point where Lily wondered if they rehearsed this.

James cleared his throat, and on the count of three, the boys began to sing, eyes fixed on Marlene's clothes upon the tower's pole.

" _God save our gracious Queen. Long live our noble Queen. God save the Queen, send her victorious, happy and glorious!"_  they sang, leaving the crowd outside the greenhouse to roar in laughter, save for Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas.  _"Long to reign over us, God save the Queen!"_

"That's enough, boys!" Professor Sprout called, having opened the door to the greenhouse. "Everyone inside, it's freezing."

"I thought you didn't have anything to  _do_  with this," Lily mumbled to Remus as they filed inside.

"Well, I had to sing with them, Lily," Remus said innocently. "I'm part of the quartet!"

* * *

Lunch time came and Remus had talked the others into nicking some food from the kitchens and coming with him to an unused classroom on the second floor to help him practice before the night's study session.

They had been there for at least fifteen minutes now, Sirius and James sitting on the professor's desk as they stuffed their faces with pumpkin pasties, Peter settled in the chair and working on a sandwich, and Remus standing with four different books spread out on the desks meant for students.

"You should eat something, mate," James said as Remus waved his wand yet again with no result.

"Yeah, maybe that's why it's not working," Sirius said. Remus sighed heavily and approached his friends, grabbing an apple from the tray of food that the house elves had sent them off with.

He took a bite, looking defeated along with his usual level of exhaustion common this time of month. "Maybe."

"What's the deal with this spell, anyway?" James asked.

"The idea is that you think of a really happy memory," Remus said, chewing his apple as he went. "And when you cast the spell, the dementor goes after the happy memory rather than sucking out all the happiness inside of you."

"Maybe your memory isn't happy enough?" Sirius shrugged, pulling out his wand. "What's the incantation again?"

"Expecto patronum," Remus said, swallowing. "I tried last night and a bit this morning and I haven't gotten a  _thing."_

"Something happy, something happy," Sirius considered. He waved his wand,  _"Expecto patronum."_

There was a whisp of silvery light, like the smoke of a small candle had just been extinguished, and it disappeared as quickly as it came. Sirius grinned.

" _Really?_  On your first try?" Remus said, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

"I've always been better than you at charms," Sirius shrugged. However, when he said the incantation and tried again, nothing happened. He frowned.

The others pulled out their wands and tried as well, the food forgotten for now. Remus managed a bit of silvery light at last, which managed to last longer than Sirius' had, but not by much.

James managed a few silver sparks. Sirius got a few more wisps of light.

"How much light are we supposed to be able to produce, then?" James asked finally.

"Enough to keep a dementor occupied so you can get away," Remus said. "If you get  _really_  good at it, it can take on a specific shape, like an animal."

He headed over to the books again, running his eyes over each open page. "Let's see, clear your mind, blah blah, happy memory, memory associated with strong positive emotions, blah blah, must be a  _strong_  memory,  _strong_  emotions are needed, blah blah…"

" _Expecto Patronum,"_ James said again, this time managing the silvery light that Sirius and Remus had achieved. It even lingered for a few moments longer before dissolving.

"I mean this is really advanced, our text book mostly goes over the theory, I had to get those other books for more information on how to actually cast it," Remus said.

"You know what else is advanced magic? Becoming an animagus. We should be able to sort this out," Sirius said.

"A strong, happy memory," Remus mumbled. He thought back to Professor Dumbledore arriving at his house when he was eleven, of learning that he would finally get to go to school like everyone else, have the opportunity to make friends like everyone else, to find some sort of normalcy in his life.

He remembered the joy that filled him to the brim as Dumbledore handed him his letter, the way he re-read every word dozens of times to be sure it was real.

" _Expecto Patronum,"_  he said, and watched as a bright beam of silvery light erupted from his wand and filled the room. The others put up their hands to shield their eyes, though they each let out a cheerful holler in response to Remus' success. Remus couldn't help the grin that came to his face as well.

"All right, that's a challenge if I've ever seen one," Sirius said, jumping off the desk and standing upright.

He tried once with a light that was bright, but not nearly the same as Remus'. He tried again with similar results.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, doing everything he could to focus.

He thought back to being eleven years old and entering Hogwarts for the first time. He thought of his parents and their desire that he continue the legacy of the Black family. He was meant to be sorted into Slytherin house, he was meant to be a great success in the name of pureblood ideals. He was meant to be a proper pureblood with proper pureblood manners and proper pureblood friends.

When he grew up, he would have a proper pureblood marriage and have proper pureblood children to continue the proper pureblood traditions.

It all started with being sorted into Slytherin house.

He didn't want any of it. It was overwhelming to know that there were all these expectations of him just because generations of Blacks had done the same thing.

And the boy on the train that would become his best friend joked that he had thought Sirius was all right before learning that his entire family had been in Slytherin, and when Sirius had retorted that perhaps he would be the first to change things, he hadn't been sure it was possible.

But he was one of the first called to the sorting hat, and once it was placed upon his head, a voice that seemed to becoming from his own head said,  _"Hm, curious. Well, there's only one place for you."_

And  _"GRYFFINDOR!"_  echoed through the hall and Sirius' heart had leaped. All at once, every burden that came with the name Black had fallen from his shoulders. As his shocked relatives scowled from the table decked in green, he rushed over to the one in red, knowing full well that he had complete control over what he was going to be.

" _Expecto patronum!"_  sixteen-year-old Sirius said, that feeling of joy and relief on his mind. He too, produced a bright light of silver, leaving the others to cheer for his success.

"All right, all right, step aside," James said, taking Sirius' spot as the other boy dramatically bowed to him, as though it was simply an honor to give up his place for him.

"The memory's got to be really good," Remus advised. James nodded and racked his brain. He had lots of happy memories, how was he supposed to single out one that was "really good?"

It seemed to come to him easily, however, being seven years old and clutching the hand of an old man as they walked out across the property, brooms over their shoulders as they went. It was James' birthday and he practically bounced along, having just received his first  _real_  racing broom from the man beside him. No more toy broomsticks that barely left the ground, no more borrowing his dad's broom, he finally had a real broom all of his own.

Grandpa Harry took him to the clearing and had him set his broom on the ground so that he could summon it up to his hands. James had practically cheered when the broom leaped into his hand on the first try.

After a few pointers, James and his grandfather took off, soaring across the skies, the old man laughing and shouting that James was simply a natural. James beamed with pride, having made his grandfather proud.

It was a memory that gave him mixed feelings, tugging at his heart painfully as he did miss his grandfather greatly, but there was an undeniable joy in remembering the time they spent together in the air.

" _Expecto Patronum!"_

Bright silver light erupted from James' wand and seemed to take a vague shape before disappearing. The others cheered again.

"I think that one was close to being corporeal, Prongs," Remus said, seeming to be in disbelief.

"Have a go, Wormtail, come on," James said, clapping the last of the boys on the back.

"I haven't even gotten a spark yet," Peter sighed, stepping forward, his wand at the ready.  _"Expecto Patronum!"_

Nothing.

"It's a hard spell," Remus said.  _"Really_  focus."

"What's the happiest you've ever been?" James asked.

"I dunno," Peter said with a frown, screwing up his face in thought.

"What about when you snogged Gwen Watson?" Sirius said with a snort. The others laughed.

"Yeah, I'll give that a go," Peter said with a shrug, his brows still furrowed in concentration, thinking back to the night in question.

Gryffindor had just defeated Hufflepuff in a close, heated match. James was winning at firewhiskey pong, one of the main reasons so many of their housemates were drunk. Marlene had dragged Lily onto the coffee table to dance dramatically to whatever was on the record player at the time.

Sirius had snuck off somewhere with Jane Clay from Hufflepuff. Remus was telling Peter something, but Peter couldn't remember what, as he had just lost a game of firewhiskey pong to James and was singing along tunelessly to the music.

And then he saw Gwen, dancing clumsily, grinning the whole way. Peter rushed over to dance with her, her pretty hair in her face and her hands all too willing to use him as support to not fall over.

And they kissed once, briefly, her mouth soft and hot from firewhiskey. She had giggled incessantly before dragging him off to a far armchair where they spent the remainder of the evening, her legs draped over his lap and their lips locked.

And for one brief moment,  _he_  was the desirable Marauder.

" _Expecto Patronum!"_  Peter said, and finally, a small wisp of silver light erupted from the tip of his wand, lingering for a few moments before fading away.

"Nice one, Pete," James grinned.

"The only thing about all this is that it will definitely be harder when there's an actual dementor around," Remus sighed. "But I suppose it's worth learning without one than not learning at all."

James nodded. "Right, it's not like we can just rent one."

"Rent-A-Dementor… no, De-Rent-Or!" Sirius said. The others groaned at this wordplay before returning to their food, if briefly.

They spent the remainder of their lunch hour alternating between bites of food and attempts at the spell. By the time the bell rang, Remus, James, and Sirius had at least been able to consistently produce light each time.

James' patronus was looking more and more like…  _something_ , though what, they weren't sure. Remus and Sirius' had also started to take some sort of shape.

* * *

When the fourth and fifth years arrived for Remus' scheduled Defense Against The Dark Arts study session, they found that the chairs and tables had been set against the wall to give them more room in the center, which Remus usually did when the lesson was to be more practical than theoretical.

Marlene, Lily, Dorcas, and Emmeline were in a far corner, talking amongst themselves as they waited for the session to officially start.

"He's really going to go over the Patronus charm, then?" Marlene said.

"He said he was going to try," Lily nodded.

"Can he do one?" Dorcas asked. "It's supposed to be very advanced."

"I'm not sure, he didn't say," Lily said, casting a glance back at Remus, who was speaking with his friends at the head of the classroom.

"My dad can cast one, but he didn't learn until seventh year," Emmeline said.

"So can my mum, hers is the shape of a bear. And Mallory can, too, hers is a turtle," Marlene said, giggling a bit. "We teased her for that for  _ages."_

"Dad's is an eagle," Emmeline smiled. "Because he's a Ravenclaw stereotype."

"Okay, if everyone can shut it for a little bit," Remus called over the crowd, the bags under his eyes seeming to get darker by the minute. The room hushed and heads turned to Remus. "So, as you may know, MacPherson does not think it's worth his time to teach us about the Patronus Charm or Dementors. I happen to disagree, and will be going over the chapter that he has chosen to skip today. As we are not going to be going over anything relevant to class this session, I understand if anyone wishes to leave."

No one moved.

"Great," Remus said. "So—"

The door swung open and a few Slytherin fourth years walked in, along with Eileen Simms, a Slytherin girl in their year.

"You're doing Patronuses, right?" one of the fourth years asked.

"Don't you lot usually study with Snivellus?" Sirius said, cocking a brow. He was most confused to see that Regulus was among the fourth years.

"Look, I like Severus, he's my friend, but he's a rubbish teacher," Regulus said matter-of-factly. "He doesn't have any patience for anyone."

"May he never pursue it as a career," Eileen said with a wince.

"And he's skipping this chapter, and we heard that you weren't," one of the fourth year girls said. "So, are you actually going over Patronuses?"

"Oh, er, yeah, I am," Remus said, still surprised. "I was just about to start."

"Good," Regulus said as the small group of Slytherins settled into spots near the Hufflepuffs.

"Er, right, so, the Patronus charm," Remus said, addressing the class as a whole again. He briefly went over the nature of Dementors, being simple in their frightful glory. He went a bit more in-depth about the spell, stressing very much that it would be far easier in the current classroom setting to produce a Patronus than it would be if an actual Dementor was around. There was a lot of emphasis on the strength of the memory, and he wrapped up with a brief demonstration.

The group murmured in awe as the vaguely-shaped Patronus shot from the end of Remus' wand.

The group went on to begin practicing, most only producing wisps of silvery light.

"Yours almost had a shape that time, I think, Lily," Dorcas said as Lily tried again.

"Yeah?" Lily said. "I'm usually good at charms, this is  _hard_  though."

"Remus said like ten times it's really advanced magic," Emmeline shrugged.

Marlene nodded. "A lot of people don't bother to learn.  _Expecto Patronum!"_

Another wisp of light that faded out as quickly as it came.

"Clear your mind,  _really_  focus on the memory," Remus advised as he walked by to see how they were doing.

"How many tries did it take you to get to where you're at?" Marlene asked.

"Just about all lunch hour," Remus admitted. "And again, there's—"

"No dementors here," the girls all said at once. Remus turned slightly pink.

"Right," he said. Suddenly a silvery dog came rushing past him, barking merrily and chasing its tail briefly.

"Aw, a dog!" Emmeline said, reaching forward to pet the silvery creature before it bounded off again.

"Ha! I got it!" Sirius said from near the front of the classroom, laughing a bit as the dog made its way around the crowd that stopped to watch it.

Remus grinned. "Nice one, Pads!"

He turned back to the girls. "James will get it any minute now to try and one-up him."

"Sounds right," Dorcas nodded.

"Keep it up, you lot are still doing better than we did after ten minutes," Remus said before walking off to check on some of the other groups.

Lily glanced between her wand and a very determined James Potter, his patronus' shape becoming more and distinct each time he cast the spell.

"You really want to cast one before he does, don't you?" Marlene snorted.

Lily smiled.  _"Expecto Patronum!"_

Another wisp of light, though this one lasted much longer than the last, and this time it was clear that, indeed, it was beginning to take shape.

"Right, well, I hope you win your lover's spat," Emmeline said, taking a seat on one of the desks shoved to the side.

"It's not a lover's spat, I just like besting him," Lily said, smile still fixed to her face. "And this time it's a  _charm._ I've got an advantage."

"All this talk is not helping us clear our minds," Dorcas pointed out, breathing deep and focusing on her wand.  _"Expecto Patronum!"_

The light produced was nice and bright, but it took no shape and faded away after a few moments.

Emmeline wasn't paying attention, however, she was thinking back a few summers earlier, to entering a concert venue with a lightning bolt painted across her face and Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas tagging along closely behind her. She remembered squeezing with them through the crowd throughout the opening act, getting as close as humanly possible to the stage.

She remembered the house lights going out, the sound of the music starting up and the pounding of her heart against her ribcage. It seemed to take both forever and no time at all for him to appear, bright hair and loud outfit.

It was really, truly him. Not a magazine clipping, not a picture on one of her records, not an image on a television screen. He was there, the real thing. She swore for a moment, a brief, fleeting moment, his mismatched eyes met hers.

And when he sang, she screamed along to every word, and nothing else mattered.

" _Expecto Patronum,"_  Emmeline said, the memory of the adrenaline clear in her mind.

She was surprised to find that the silvery light that burst from her wand broke into three separate parts and darted around the room.

"Em, they're birds!" Dorcas said with a grin.

"Sparrows!" said Opal from Ravenclaw as one flitted past her. Sirius' dog patronus, still lingering as Sirius laughed at James' failed attempts to get his corporeal patronus right, chased the sparrows cheerfully.

"Nice work, Emmeline!" Remus said, touching her shoulder briefly. He seemed to realize what he'd done and pulled his hand away quickly, offering her an awkward smile.

"What did you think of, then?" Marlene frowned, still producing mostly vapor. "David Bowie?"

Emmeline's cheeks burned red and the sparrows faded away. "Er, maybe."

A silvery salmon swam around their heads, leaving Howard from Hufflepuff cheering as it went.

"Hmm…" Marlene said thoughtfully.

What was her  _Bowie_  moment?

Marlene was eight. Mallory was eighteen and clinging to Marlene's hand as they climbed higher and higher in the stands. The week prior, Max had made Marlene cry by saying that girls were rubbish at Quidditch.

Their parents had not been pleased to hear this, neither had Mallory, who seemed to know that a few reassuring words were not going to be enough to make this better.

They got to their seats mere seconds before the announcer's voice boomed across the stadium. Mallory told Marlene to pay close attention when the Holyhead Harpies were announced.

And one by one, seven women in green robes flew across the field as their names were called. They were powerful, they were strong, they were unafraid. Even just seeing them on the pitch excited Marlene, and seeing them play meant more than she thought she could ever say to Mallory.

If they could do this, why couldn't she? If they could possess that much power, that much strength, why not her, too?

It was a turning point. She still thought of that moment before Quidditch games. She couldn't believe she hadn't considered it sooner in this lesson.

" _Expecto Patronum,"_  Marlene said, and jumped slightly as a large creature emerged from her wand. It roared.

"Is that a tiger?" Lily said as the creature began to prowl, the beaver that John from Ravenclaw had produced scurrying out of its path.

"A tig _ress,"_  Marlene corrected with a grin.

"Oh, yours is so much more intimidating than mine," Emmeline said.

"Ugh, I'm so close, what am I doing wrong?" Lily said, frustrated as the tiger continued around the room.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, James is doing it too," Dorcas said, glancing back his way. James, too, was so very close, but yet to produce the clear corporeal Patronus. Granted, Sirius was doing everything possible to distract and annoy the boy.

"Pick another memory if it's not working," Marlene suggested, eyes still on her Patronus.

Dorcas considered this. Perhaps the memory of her first Quidditch match wasn't enough.

What, then?

She remembered being eleven years old and walking into Olivander's, her parents and brother and her heel. Everything about Diagon Alley was big and intimidating, and she couldn't help but think that maybe there had been a mistake, maybe she didn't belong here. She had initially felt comfort about finally having an explanation behind the strange things that would happen around her, but now she wondered if perhaps it was all coincidence.

Was she really supposed to be among these impressive leagues of people that could perform spells and brew potions?

Olivander handed her wand after wand with little success, her family watching on eagerly to see what would happen. When a wand behaved badly, she thought perhaps it knew she wasn't magic enough and was rebelling.

Then he handed her a wand of ten inches, rowan, unicorn hair.

There was something about this one that just  _felt_  right. And with a wave, gold sparks erupted from the tip and her family cheered in delight. Olivander was pleased and said that was the one.

It was proof she was a witch, proof that she was magic enough, proof that she, too, could do great things.

It was a great feeling of relief, a great feeling of belonging and knowing who she was.

" _Expecto Patronum,"_ Dorcas said, her eyes on the wand in question. Bursting forth from the wand came a hedgehog, tumbling playfully through the air.

Lily sighed, frustrated, as the others cooed at the silvery creature.

"It's so cute! I wanna name it," Dorcas practically squealed as the hedgehog went, shining brightly.

"Something with an 'H' I think," Emmeline said. "Harper or Hortense or something."

"Hortense! Hortense the Hedgehog," Dorcas said. "I wish I could keep her all the time!"

The Hedgehog bounded off as a fox, cast by Regulus, chased after it.

"I'm going to get it this time," Lily said, determined. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to shut out all the noise around her.

She had already tried thinking of Severus telling her that she was a witch, but that didn't seem to be working.

She had already tried thinking of going off to Hogwarts, but that memory was tainted with Petunia calling her a freak.

But what about later that night?

Lily had been incredibly anxious as she walked off with the Gryffindors to their tower and Severus left with the Slytherins to their dungeons. Severus was her only friend here, and her housemates didn't quite impress her so far. Were they all as arrogant and annoying as James Potter and Sirius Black? Was she going to have to live in a house full of people like  _that?_

The common room had been beautiful. It had been cozy and warm, but still she felt so alone, so terrified of the notion of having to be so far away from Severus, to not have him around to explain anything while she was here.

She had walked to her dormitory on the verge of tears, worrying that no one would like her, that she wouldn't make any friends. She sat on her trunk and wiped her eyes, not realizing someone else had arrived.

The girl had asked if she was homesick and said that her older brothers and sister all said that everyone gets homesick and it would get better after the first week. She said she was scared to be away from home for the first time, too, but excited about flying lessons and asked Lily what she was most excited about.

The girl, taller than Lily, with her ears she hadn't grown into yet, long, dirty blonde hair, and striking hazel eyes talked to Lily like they were already friends. Soon enough they were talking and giggling and Lily had forgotten all about being lonely, because she wasn't anymore.

She had made a new friend in Marlene McKinnon.

Lily remembered laughing until her sides hurt and said,  _"Expecto Patronum."_

Her friends each gasped as the beautiful silver doe leaped forward, graceful and poised. She walked along the other Patronuses, head held high.

"It's so pretty, Lily," Dorcas said with a sigh.

"And it fits you really well," Emmeline nodded. Lily couldn't help but grin, so relieved and so excited that she had finally managed to conjure it.

She watched as the doe moved, only stopping when it met a stag.

"Who's—?" Lily started, turning around to see who had cast the stag that was now nuzzling her doe.

She found Sirius, Peter, and Remus staring at her with wide eyes, mouths agape. James faltered for a moment before he grinned.

She realized all at once that the stag belonged to him.

Lily dropped her wand to her side, feeling her face turn pink as her doe vanished from sight.

"Oh my  _god,"_  Malrene said barely over a whisper as most of the class continued on with their patronuses.

"I'm sure it doesn't  _mean_  anything!" Lily blurted out immediately.

"But his was cuddling with yours!" Emmeline said, seemingly trying not to giggle.

"Because it was Potter's and he's a  _git,"_  Lily insisted. She chanced a glance back toward James, who was still grinning, the stag still present and now lingering near him.

It was just a coincidence.

It didn't mean  _anything._

It  _couldn't_  mean anything.


	31. I'm Not Laughing, You're Not Joking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! This week has dragged by and I'm so glad we finally hit the weekend again. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, leave me a comment with your thoughts!

_"What's ironic about that is that silver is supposed to be fatal to werewolves, according to legend. So, a cloud having a silver lining would still be pretty bad for you, eh?"_

* * *

Sirius Black, for one, was really getting tired of discussing Patronus charms.

He was perfectly pleased with the dog that he had managed to whip up during the study session, before the rest of them, might he add, and had little else to say on the matter.

Peter wouldn't shut up because he hadn't actually been able to conjure up a proper one yet, which on its own would be all well and good.

Except that James  _also_  wouldn't shut up about the fact that Lily Evans— _Lily Evans, you guys!—_ had produced a doe to his stag. He kept talking about destiny and soul mates and all sorts of things that made Sirius nauseous.

And then this morning, shortly after getting up, Remus had tried again to cast one. He hadn't been able to do much practicing himself during the study session, and wanted to give it another go. He was horrified to find a form of a silvery wolf appearing in their dorm room..

"Why don't I just wear a t-shirt that says 'ask me about my lycanthropy'?" Remus groaned as he fumbled with his tie. "Can you imagine if I had made a wolf appear in the middle of the study group?"

"People probably would have thought it was  _cool_ , Moony," Sirius said, unable to hide the boredom in his tone. "Only someone like  _Snivellus_  would jump straight to 'werewolf.'"

"Look, I can't be the kid who gets sick every month,  _and_  has the nickname 'Moony,'  _and_  has a wolf patronus!" Remus said, swaying slightly as he stood upright. It was going to be one of those days where he was going to be stumbling through class to avoid an absence.

"Also, your name is basically 'Wolfy McWolfson,' your parents weren't subtle," James said, nodding. "Yeah maybe it's for the best no one else knows your patronus is a wolf, it'll be a bit excessive."

"A  _bit!?"_  Remus groaned. "There's some way to conceal it, I need to look that up."

"Maybe MacPherson will be right for once in his life and you'll never have to use it," Sirius shrugged.

"I'm never that lucky," Remus said, struggling with his robe for a moment before he realized he was putting it on upside down.

"At least you guys got it to work," Peter sighed heavily, staring at his wand as though it wasn't producing a Patronus on purpose.

"Look, we have other things to worry about, okay? Full moon's on Saturday," Sirius said, gesturing to the calendar. "Who cares about Patronuses? We've got more hell to raise."

"That's true! Where should we go this time?" James said.

"I wish we could go look around Hogsmeade," Peter said.

Remus shook his head. "There'll be way too many people."

"I know," Peter sighed.

"What if we take the long way around to the caves out there?" Sirius suggested. "Far away from anyone, past the Shrieking Shack even."

"Maybe," Remus said. "Not too far, though, we need to get back before sunrise this time."

* * *

Marlene yawned, stretching as she and Lily headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. There was the sound of footsteps falling behind them and soon enough, Alice appeared on Lily's other side, smile bright.

"Morning!" she said cheerfully.

"Why're you so chipper?" Marlene said, rubbing her eyes in such a way as to avoid smearing her eyeshadow. "It's early."

"I slept well last night, I guess," Alice hummed, and Lily's mind wandered back to Benjamin's comments the other day. Had Alice been with Frank?

It seemed inappropriate to ask.

"I heard you lot produced Patronuses last night," Alice said. "I can't believe  _I_  didn't think of going over that charm in study sessions. Frank and I are going to have to steal that from Remus. Frank's never even  _tried_  that charm before."

"Oh yeah, it was an eventful study session," Marlene said with a slight laugh. Lily shot her a look.

"Did you manage a corporeal one?" asked Alice. "What form did they take?"

"A tigress," Marlene said, miming having claws.

"Ooh, nice," Alice said.

"A doe," Lily said.

Alice nodded. "You know, that makes sense."

"And then James Potter's was a stag," Marlene added, and Lily sighed heavily.

" _Really?"_  Alice said, eyes wide. "Huh. You know, Lily, they say that sometimes soulmates have complementary Patronuses."

"Soulmates? Ugh, James Potter is  _not_  my soulmate," Lily said, shuddering at the thought of spending the rest of her with the git.

Alice shrugged. "I mean it might just be a coincidence. Now I want to know what Frank's would be, though, and mine."

"Oh, so is Frank  _your_  soul mate, then, Orpington?" Marlene teased.

"Maybe," Alice grinned. "Everything's going so well with him! I met his family over the holiday, did I tell you?"

"No, you didn't, how'd it go?" Marlene asked.

"So well! They really seemed to like me and he said his mum is really hard to impress and he seemed  _thrilled_  that we got along," Alice said. "He's staying with my family for the Easter holiday."

"You guys are getting serious, hm?" Lily said.

"I think so! He keeps asking for my input for his post-Hogwarts plans and talking about things like, 'well  _we_  can get a place in London,' ' _we_  could get a flat for a while and save up for a house,' 'I think it'd be great if  _we_ lived close to the Ministry during Auror training,'" Alice said, practically swooning on the spot.

"That's great, Alice, I'm happy for you," Lily said with a nod. She had never seen Alice so happy, and Frank, too, seemed to have a spring in his step every time she saw him recently.

"Okay, that's all well and good, he wants you to move in with him,  _how is he in bed?"_  Marlene asked in hushed tones, a devilish smile coming to her face.

Alice turned red.  _"Marlene!"_

"Well?" Marlene pressed, giggling.

Alice buried her head in her hands, giggling as well. "Well, I mean, we have fun."

"Good!" Marlene said. Lily frowned slightly but quickly recovered.

It shouldn't be surprising that Alice was having sex with Frank. In fact, really, it  _wasn't_ , what with how crazy they were for each other.

It was different, though, when it was just Marlene. With Marlene  _and_  Alice having taken that plunge, well…

Lily wasn't sure. It seemed like such a big step, and honestly one that made her nervous to think about seriously. She was not ready, not in the least, and she supposed she knew that already, even if she didn't acknowledge it prior.

Was there something off with her, with Marlene and Alice so obviously comfortable with this while she was not?

Just what she needed, something else about her that was weird.

She suddenly realized that Marlene and Alice were still talking, and had moved on to Marlene's upcoming date with Benjamin.

"Ben is  _so_  nice, Marlene, I think he'd be good for you. Do you know where he's taking you?" Alice was saying as they reached the door to the Great Hall.

"I think we're going to that diner by Ceridwen's Cauldrons," Marlene said. "Lily, where are you and Gabriel going, do you know?"

"Gabriel Buckley?" Alice asked.

"Yes, he asked me out at the victory party," Lily nodded.

"He's  _cute_  Lily," Alice said, giving Lily a congratulatory pat on the shoulder. "Smart, too, he's top of my Charms class."

"So do you know where he's taking you?" Marlene asked.

Lily shook her head as they took a seat at the Hufflepuff table, Dorcas and Emmeline already settled there. "No, we haven't talked about it. Actually, it's been a busy few days with tutoring and the study group and everything, I haven't seen him."

"Morning," Emmeline said, closing her notebook as the others settled down. "You talking about Gabriel?"

"Yes," Lily nodded.

"He asked me to give this to you," Emmeline said, handing Lily a folded piece of parchment. "And I really hope this doesn't become a constant thing, I mean, he's right over there."

She gestured toward the Ravenclaw table, where Lily caught Gabriel's eye—his big brown eyes—and he waved, offering her a smile. She returned the gesture and unfolded the note.

_Lily—_

_Meet me in the courtyard at 5PM?_

— _Gabe_

"What's it say?" Marlene asked.

"He wants me to meet him in the courtyard an hour before dinner," Lily said.

"It's freezing out," Emmeline said, glancing at the ceiling and finding that it was snowing yet again.

"So he'll keep her warm, duh," Marlene said. "A little winter stroll."

"Aw, that'll be nice!" Alice said, taking some toast from the platter.

Lily pulled her quill from her bag and scribbled  _yes_  on the other side of the note before folding it into an airplane.

With a tap of her wand, the parchment airplane zoomed across the Great Hall and Gabriel caught it easily, grinning her way again when he unfolded it.

"Yep, he's cute," Marlene nodded. Lily couldn't help but smile, cheeks burning a bit.

Gabriel was nice. He helped her find Marlene when the blonde was drunk. He talked to her about muggle culture.

And he was cute, very cute.

"So," Alice said brightly, focusing on Dorcas and Emmeline, who were entirely unenthused with this topic. "Did you two end up with corporeal Patronuses last night?"

"Oh yeah, mine's a hedgehog!" Dorcas said. "It was so cute, you should have seen it!"

"Aww!" Alice said.

"Mine's a sparrow," Emmeline said.

" _Three_  sparrows. She made  _three_  sparrows by thinking of David Bowie," Marlene said, shaking her head at her friend.

"Nice!" Alice said. "Just David Bowie in general or?"

"Seeing him live," Emmeline said, unable to help her dreamy sigh.

"It was a good show," Dorcas nodded.

The doors to the great hall swung open and Emma Vanity came sprinting inside, ignoring the curious looks that she got as she went by. She skidded to a halt at the staff table and leaned down to speak in hushed tones with Dumbledore. The usually calm features became serious as he asked her a few short questions.

"Wonder what that's—" Alice started before Dumbledore stood up and a hush fell over the students.

"Prefects will please escort their houses back to their dormitories immediately. Head boy and girl will please meet with me and the rest of the staff here. It is of great importance that all students return to their common rooms. Do not go to class when the bell sounds, wait for your head of house for further instruction," Dumbledore said in a voice far more stern than any of them had heard from him before.

"What's going on?" Dorcas said as they all got to their feet, the great hall erupting into murmurs. "Is it a drill, maybe?"

"I don't know, it sounds serious," Lily said. "C'mon, we'd better get back to the Gryffindors."

"Right," Alice said, grabbing another piece of toast before heading off with Lily and Marlene to the group of Gryffindors. Emmeline rushed off back to the Ravenclaws.

They had barely gotten into the corridor that led to the grand staircase when a group of students gathered around the windows, gasping and murmuring among themselves.

"Come on, back to the common room!" Lily said, shooing them back to the crowd heading for Gryffindor tower.

"Lily!" Marlene said, standing at one of the windows, her voice shaking slightly.

Lily gave Marlene a puzzled look before walking over and glancing outside to see what the fuss was about.

Her stomach dropped. It might have slipped through the cracks in the stone beneath her feet.

Poised in the air above the doors to the main entrance of the castle, green and menacing, was a Dark Mark.

"What the fuck," came a voice from nearby, sounding a strange mix of awe and fright. Lily was surprised to see James Potter looking pale at the sight of the thing.

"Do you think someone's dead?" Peter said, looking pale as well.

"How could they have gotten in?" James said.

"We need to get to the common room, come on," said Remus, looking worse for wear and not necessarily because of what was outside the window.

"And just wait? There's a Dark Mark!" James said.

"What can we do about it, Prongs?" Remus said. "Come on, Dumbledore wants us in the common room."

"We're supposed to just sit there like good little boys, then? Knowing this is out here?" Sirius said, beginning to laugh, a shallow, uncomfortable laugh.

"Moony's right, come on," Peter urged Sirius and James.

Sirius seemed to be trying to hush his laughter as he walked away from the window. James glanced out the window again, hesitating a moment before pulling Remus' arm over his shoulder to keep up upright and heading over to join the group heading for the common room.

For a fleeting moment Lily thought she understood how he felt.

How were they supposed to just sit and wait when something like this was just outside their front door?

Lily directed a few younger students away from the window before taking Marlene by the arm so that they might join them.

* * *

The common room was buzzing with hushed conversation, conspiracy theories, and questions. A group of students huddled around the only window of the tower that had a view of the mark.

The usual bell for the start of class rang. No one left. The study tables filled with breakfast items and while many helped themselves and chattered cheerfully about missing class, others had lost all appetite and watched the portrait hole expectantly.

"Do you suppose someone's died?" Lily said in hushed tones to Marlene.

"I don't know. Who would they have gone after?" Marlene said. "I mean, Dumbledore seems like an obvious target, but we know  _he's_  okay, he was at breakfast. All the heads, they were all there, too. Why go through the trouble of trying to get into Hogwarts just to go after someone random?"

"Maybe to get to someone  _related_  to someone important?" Lily said.

"Maybe," Marlene said with a sigh. "The school governors will have a field day if someone died. The press will have a field day either way. Mum will probably write Michael and I for an inside scoop."

"Will they try to shut down Hogwarts?" Lily said, heart pounding at the thought.

"Wouldn't you? I'd say they either try for that, or, best case scenario, keep it open and try to get rid of Dumbledore," Marlene said.

Lily frowned. Dumbledore was the only reason her parents let her come back.

With a wince, she suddenly felt guilty. Here she was worrying about school staying open when someone very well might have  _died_.

There were more important things than school.

That in itself was such a strange thought. Her whole life had revolved around "do well in school."

"It's gone!" a second year called from the window, and a few students joined the group there to see.

"Dumbledore probably got rid of it," James said, he and the other Marauders in the corner, having been having their own hushed discussion and for some reason very interested in a piece of parchment in Remus' hands.

"Would your parents let you come back if they get rid of Dumbledore?" Lily asked, her tone still hushed. She had assured some scared first years earlier that everything would be fine and would hate for any of them to overhear her now.

"Oh, I don't think they'd  _really_  get rid of him. They'd just  _try,"_  Marlene said. "He defeated Grindelwald, who else should do the job, really?"

"I suppose that's true," Lily said, though her mind was still going a mile a minute. "I… I really do hope no one is dead."

"Oh, me too," Marlene said, nodding. "And I mean, not just because it would be a whole mess about keeping the school open."

"Right, exactly," Lily said, frowning. "But… I mean, why else would the mark be there?"

The portrait hole swung open and McGonagall entered, barely setting her foot on the carpet before the room erupted in questions.

"Quiet, please!" McGonagall said sternly and her house obliged. "I know you want answers, I understand your frustration at the silence, truly I do. I will give you answers as soon as I have them. In the meantime, I need to take attendance. When I call your name, raise your hand so that I may get visual confirmation you are here.  _Only_  respond to  _your own_  name. Am I clear?"

There were soft murmurs of acknowledgement and McGonagall glanced down at her clipboard, starting to read off the names of the first years.

Lily and Marlene exchanged glances every now and again, unwilling to speak while McGonagall called names. The room in general was eerily quiet.

Lily wondered if Marlene was also mentally going through everyone she had seen at breakfast that morning.

She hadn't paid much attention. Had Severus been at the Slytherin table? Had Michael been there at the Hufflepuff table without them taking notice?

As she thought of every person in the school that she even vaguely knew, she wondered if there was any reason for the Death Eaters to target them.

What about AJ and his muggle contraband? Had he been at breakfast?

It seemed to take ages to get to the fifth years, with Sirius' name being called first. He raised his hand, "Here, McG."

Lily could hardly find it in herself to be surprised that the Marauders did not seem to want to banter with McGonagall as they usually did. Perhaps they knew better.

Next was Lily, who raised her hand and said, "Present."

Of course they knew better. The Marauders were a lot of things but they weren't  _evil_. Not the kind of evil that casts a dark mark.

Their roommate, Inez Garcia, also identified herself as present.

Still, seeing them take something seriously was strange all the same. There wasn't a trace of a smirk on any of their faces.

Remus Lupin, present.

What kind of evil did you have to be to kill someone and declare it with a symbol in the air for all to see?

Marlene McKinnon, present.

What kind of evil did you have to do to break into a  _school_  and do that? To go through that sort of planning and never stop to reconsider?

Peter Pettigrew, present.

What kind of evil did you have to be to take a place so safe and sacred and make sure that no one inside felt safe anymore?

James Potter, present.

What kind of evil did you have to be to follow Lord Voldemort and do such things in his name?

Gwen Watson was the last of the fifth years to declare herself present.

A while later, after calling the name of the last seventh year, McGonagall sighed heavily, a look of relief none of them had seen on her features before flitting across her face. "Good. Good, you're all here, minus Mr. Longbottom, who is with the headmaster. Good."

She set her clipboard to her side and addressed them all again. "I will be back with news as soon as I have it. The Fat Lady has been instructed not to let any of you out."

Before she could turn her heel, the room erupted in noise.

"Professor, were there Death Eaters on campus?"

"How'd they get in?"

"Is Hogwarts shutting down?"

"Is anyone dead?"

"My sister is in Ravenclaw, how do I know  _she's_  okay?"

"Professor, what are we supposed to do, hang out here all day?"

"How can we help, McG?"

"Let us do something!"

"Silence!" McGonagall called. "I understand that you are frustrated. I will give you news when I have it. All heads of house are checking on their students now. All students are to remain in their dormitories until further instruction is received. You can help by staying put for now. I would suggest you use this time to get ahead on your homework. Again, I will give you news when I have it."

And with that, she turned and left.

* * *

"At least we got to miss MacPherson's class," Sirius said a while later as the bell sounded for the start of their second class of the day, still no word from McGonagall. They had since moved back to their dormitory, several other students doing the same, knowing that they'd hear a fuss if McGonagall came back.

"Yes, I suppose every murder-cloud has a silver lining," Remus said, trying and failing to focus on a charms essay which was not due until the following week.

"What's ironic about that is that silver is supposed to be fatal to werewolves, according to legend," Sirius mused. "So, a cloud having a silver lining would still be pretty bad for you, eh?"

"I can be around silver fine," Remus said, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Anyway, I don't think anyone is dead," Sirius said.

"How come?" Peter asked. The boy hadn't stopped pacing from one end of the dorm to the other ever since they got back.

James was sitting on his bed, still carefully examining the map with a frown fixed to his face.

"Getting into Hogwarts is too hard," Sirius said. "If they were going to go through the trouble, they'd go after Dumbledore or someone else really important… and surely there would have been a body  _right there_  when we looked out the window? It's not like they'd stash it and then go cast the mark somewhere else, that's not the point, the point is to draw attention to the murder."

"You've put a lot of thought into this," James said, eyes still on the map.

"Well, it's just murder logic," Sirius shrugged.

"I guess we know who to come to if we need to plan a murder," Remus snorted.

Peter paused in his pacing suddenly. "I don't know, maybe he's got a point? Or would they have moved the body already?"

"No, it'd be an active crime scene," James said. "They'd have to leave it for law enforcement, I'd think. I know Dumbledore and the Ministry butt heads a lot but he wouldn't tamper with a crime scene, that'd look bad on his part."

"Right, exactly," Sirius said. "I'd say that one of those wannabe Death Eaters cast it to scare everyone and feel tough. Probably one of Snivellus' group or one of my brother's friends, I'm not sure he'd have the nerve to do it himself."

"You sure Regulus would get involved with any of that?" Remus said.

"You know how I have a ton of clippings of pretty girls and motorcycles and rock stars?" Sirius said, gesturing to his portion of the wall where he had pinned said clippings. "Regulus has that for You-Know-Who. Probably keeps a picture under his pillow while he sleeps and practices making out with it."

"Has there ever been a clear picture of him taken?" Peter asked.

"I don't know, I don't think so? Not really the point I was trying to get across either way," Sirius said.

"Maybe he drew one himself," James nodded, glancing up from the map at last. "I think I know what Dumbledore's doing."

"Is he still going around those corridors near the entrance hall?" Remus asked.

"I think he's talking to the portraits," James said, tapping the map.

Sirius nodded. "Makes sense. Surely they would have seen something."

"Is anyone out of their dorm?" Peter asked.

"I don't think so," James said, unfolding the map some more to check again. Each of the common rooms was swarming with so many dots and names that they overlapped and it was impossible to read the names properly.

He folded the map back so that he could see the entrance hall and saw that Dumbledore was talking to each head of house, along with Emma and Frank now.

"Slughorn's pacing now," James said. The others walked over to watch. Slughorn's dot seemed fidgety, the others were still. Finally, Dumbledore's dot and Slughorn's dot headed for the dungeons, Emma Vanity's dot close behind.

Dumbledore waited outside of the Slytherin common room as Slughorn and Emma entered. After a few moments, they re-emerged with a dot labeled "Gereon Gibbon."

"That the spooky seventh year that looks like he'll stab you with a quill if you look at him wrong?" Sirius whispered, normal speaking voices seeming too loud.

"You've got to be more specific, Mate," James said, also whispering.

"The one with the lazy eye," Peter said.

"Yeah, that's him," Remus nodded.

The dots were quite still for a time, Dumbledore seeming to be talking to Gibbon.

"What's McG doing?" Sirius said, still whispering after a few minutes of this. James pointed to another part of the map, where McGonagall and the other heads of house lingered in the entrance hall.

"Emma just jumped in front of Slughorn," Remus said, pointing back to the dungeons.

There seemed to be a scuffle, the four dots representing Dumbledore, Slughorn, Gibbon, and Emma darting about the small area. Gibbon seemed to be heading further into the dungeons for a moment before suddenly coming to a halt.

"Reckon they stunned him?" Peter said.

"I wish we could be there to see it," Sirius sighed.

Soon enough, Dumbledore, Slughorn, and Emma seemed to be moving Gibbon back to the entrance hall to meet with the other heads.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, all students were required to fill in to the Great Hall, Dumbledore standing before the staff table in wait. He didn't seem as cheerful as he usually was, still quite stern.

Everyone was quiet, not daring to utter a word while Dumbledore was like this, unsure how to react.

Lily stood on the tips of her toes, trying to see the Slytherin table, trying to see a familiar mop of greasy black hair.

Michael had embraced Marlene and Lily both tightly on the way to the Great Hall when he realized they were okay.

AJ was standing near Emmeline with the Ravenclaws.

"Everyone is here, Albus," McGonagall said before stepping aside with the rest of the staff. They were presenting a united front behind Dumbledore.

"Well," Dumbledore said and a hush fell over the crowd. "Let me start first by hopefully easing  _some_  concerns. Everyone that started the day alive and well in Hogwarts, is still very much so. The Dark Mark which appeared outside the front doors  _did not_  signal a murder."

A shutter of relief rippled through the room.

Lily felt tension release from her shoulders. Severus was okay, even if she couldn't find him in the crowd.

"The mark in question came to be due to a single student thinking it would be amusing to cast it. Thinking it an impressive statement," Dumbledore continued. "Let me make myself very clear: this is not a statement that will be tolerated in this school. The Dark Mark is not a joke, and it has no place here. Hogwarts is a place of learning, a place where  _all_  are welcome to learn. While you are here, Hogwarts is your home, and no one should be made to feel threatened and unsafe in their own home."

"Here here!" came a voice from the Hufflepuff table, and Lily realized quickly that it was Dorcas. Scattered applause followed this.

The twinkle returned to Dumbledore's eyes, but briefly. He raised his hand and silence fell again.

"The student who cast the mark has been removed and will not be returning to the castle—"

Applause followed again, and a few jeers from a small group of Slytherins, though they ceased as soon as Emma Vanity turned to glare at them.

Dumbledore raised his hand again, followed by silence once more.

"I must state again, that behavior such as this will not be tolerated at Hogwarts. You are all here to  _learn_. As such, now that the mark and its castor have been removed, classes will resume as usual after lunch. Do tuck in."

And with that, the tables filled and Dumbledore returned to his own seat.

The food for the most part was ignored as everyone seemed to have the same idea all at once.

On one side of the hall, students quickly gathered around Frank, and on the other, Emma found herself in the center of her own crowd.

"Frank! Who was it?"

"Are they  _sure_  no one's dead?"

"What really happened?"

"It was a Slytherin, wasn't it?"

"Hey! Hey!" Frank called, standing tall. The usually kind and often bashful Frank was entirely in business mode, respectability simply radiating from his being. The crowd around him hushed at once.

"Damn, Alice," Marlene mumbled to the girl beside her, who simply grinned.

Lily understood. It was as though Frank had elevated himself somehow. His jaw was somehow stronger, his gaze determined.

It was, well,  _sexy._

"Listen, Dumbledore told Emma and I that we weren't allowed to talk about it, so don't go bothering her either. I'm sure you'll find out who it was soon enough, seeing as they won't be around anymore. Everyone is present and accounted for, no one is dead," Frank said.

"But are you—?"

"Yes, we're sure," Frank said. "I suggest you all eat and get ready for class."

It appeared that Frank was decidedly  _not_  going to divulge any more information, and so the students began filing back to their respective tables to do just that, mumbling amongst themselves. Alice immediately attached herself at Frank's side, whispering in his ear as she dragged him off.

"Hey, Lily," Gabriel said, walking her way as the crowd cleared a bit.

"Oh, hello, Gabe," Lily said.

"Would you still like to meet me this evening? It's been… a day," Gabriel said.

Lily had completely forgotten about Gabriel's invitation with everything else. "Oh!" she said, hoping she didn't look as surprised as she felt to be reminded of it. "Yes, yes, that would be nice."

"Great," Gabriel grinned.

"I'm a bid disappointed in the lack of cute little note, though," Lily teased.

"Well, I tried to get Vance to give you another one," he said, pulling it out of his pocket. "But she gave me attitude about it."

"Yes, well, you seem to have communicated with her fine without my assistance," Emmeline said in a sing-song voice from nearby.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were there," Gabriel said to Emmeline.

"I told him that I was fairly certain that his vocal cords still worked and that your hearing was functional," Emmeline said to Lily with a shrug.

"You're snarky today, I like it," Marlene said, patting Emmeline on the back. "And you smell like mint, did you get new perfume or something?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Emmeline said cheerfully, her fingers lingering for half a second on the inner pocket of her robes, as though checking something.

"Well, she is right, you can just talk to me," Lily said, offering Gabriel a smile. "I'll, um, see you later, then?"

"Yes, definitely," Gabriel nodded before casting Emmeline a quizzical look and bidding them goodbye.

"Not sitting with us?" Dorcas asked as she, Marlene, and Emmeline took a seat and Lily remained upright.

"I will, but in a minute," Lily said, starting off toward the Slytherin table. "I'm gonna check on Sev."

She could swear she heard the collective sigh of her three friends as she turned her back.


	32. Mistaken Identities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So, a big reason I wrote this story was because a girl I was friends with in college and I were going to start this Marauders-Era forum role-play in our freshman year. I was going to play Emmeline, and Peter, too, actually. We (mostly I) went through all the trouble of setting everything up, only for the other girl to just get bored and abandon the project before it really got to start. So, I had been toying with writing this ever since then. I'm pretty pleased because in this chapter I actually got to put in one of the first scenes I came up with for it, a plot point originally intended for the role-play. I hope you guys enjoy it.

" _Of all the girls in the castle, it had to be the one that wouldn't scream at the sight of him!"_

* * *

Lily had barely stepped out of the bathroom before Marlene took her by the arm and pulled her over to her bed. Lily plopped down on the comforter as Marlene started fussing over her, smoothing out her hair and wiping flakes of mascara away from beneath Lily's eyes.

"Where are you off to, then?" Inez asked from her bed, barely glancing up from the essay she had been working on since classes had ended.

"She's got a  _date,"_  Marlene said, reaching for the buttons on Lily's blouse, only for Lily to swat her hand away. Marlene pouted.

"We're just gonna take a walk in the courtyard," Lily said.

"Have fun, it's  _freezing_  out," Gwen said, absentmindedly flipping through a copy of  _Witch Weekly._

"Does this really count as a date?" Lily asked.

"Well it's not a  _platonic_  outing. Oh, here," Marlene said, rummaging through her bedside drawer for a small container of mints and handing Lily a few.

"I just brushed my teeth!" Lily said.

"Extra insurance!" Marlene insisted.

Lily rolled her eyes and popped the mints in her mouth. "I probably won't need it, I don't think anything is going to happen."

"What's the harm in quick snog?" Marlene said.

Lily cocked a brow. "Well,  _you—"_

"We're not going off my experiences here," Marlene said immediately. "And it wasn't  _snogging_  that got me in trouble."

"Oh, right, is it true you shagged Sirius Black?" Gwen said.

"Who told you that?" Marlene said, her cheeks turning a bit pink.

Inez snickered. "Who do you think?"

"Bertha Jorkins?" Marlene said.

"Obviously," Gwen said. "So it's true? How was he?"

"He seems like the type to rely largely on his looks and not put a lot of effort in," Inez said.

"I don't know, he was fine," Marlene said, waving their comments away. "We just had a disagreement over what it meant for our relationship after is all."

"Ah, is  _that_  why your knickers were on the flagpole, then?" Inez asked. She and Gwen had walked into the dorm on the day the clothes had appeared on the flagpole to find Marlene mounting her broom near an open window to retrieve them.

"Maybe," Marlene said, sighing heavily.

"Sirius is awfully fit, though, good for you," Gwen said with a slightly dreamy sigh.

"Well if he's making the rounds maybe you'll have a turn, too," Inez said. "I heard that he slept with Pam Barnes, Gerald Jackson,  _and_  Imogene Flint over the weekend."

"Imogene Flint wouldn't touch Sirius with a ten foot pole," Marlene said.

"She would if there was a blade on one end, I imagine," said Lily.

"Yeah, he's way too blood-traitory for her," Marlene nodded. "Besides, I think they're related."

"Probably," Gwen said. "I also don't think he slept with Gerald, they were joking about it in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Pam Barnes? I don't know."

"Pam Barnes happened," Marlene said.

Inez rolled her eyes.  _"Why?_  Merlin, I hope your friend Vance tries out for a solo for the spring performances too, because Barnes is insufferable."

"She's got—well she's  _well endowed,_  maybe that's it," Gwen said, glancing critically down at her own chest.

"Who knows," Marlene said, turning her attention back to Lily's hair. "I  _wish_  you could use Sleekeazy."

"Why can't you?" Inez asked.

Lily grabbed Marlene's bottle from the bedside table and read aloud, "Caution: Side-Effects may include allergic reactions such as warts, hives, or horns. Redheads proceed with extreme caution, unique results may occur."

"What are 'unique results,'?" said Gwen, eyes wide.

"Well, we tried once in second year, and her hair fell out in patches," Marlene said, smoothing Lily's hair yet again.

"And the parts that didn't fall out turned green," Lily sighed, setting the bottle back in its proper place. "And it was all…  _crunchy._  Thank Merlin for Madam Promfrey."

"Your hair is nice anyway, Lily," Inez nodded.

"It is," Marlene nodded. "Also, if you decide to go eat dinner with dear  _Gabe_  after your little walk, Dorcas and Emmeline and I will not be offended, just saying."

"Have you actually seen  _Benjamin_  since the party, by the way?" Lily said.

"Oh, we snogged yesterday during his free period," Marlene nodded.

"He's fit too! What do I have to do, stuff my bra?" Gwen groaned.

"There's always Pettigrew," Inez snickered.

Gwen shrugged. "He was a decent snog, actually. Wish he was as attractive as Fire Whiskey made him out to be."

"Well, there  _are_  more important things than looks," Lily said.

"Yeah, says the girl going to meet Gabriel Buckley, he's so  _tall!_ And his  _arms,_ " Gwen said. "Physical attraction is important. Besides, blokes are always holding  _us_  to weird standards, why can't  _I_  want to date someone attractive?"

"I agree," Marlene nodded. "Er, Lily, when were you supposed to meet Gabe?"

Lily glanced down at the watch that Marlene had gotten her for Christmas and her eyes widened. "Five minutes ago!"

"Shit, go!" Marlene said. Lily was already rushing for the door.

* * *

By the time Lily made it outside the great doors in the front of the school, she couldn't help but pause a moment to glance up at the place where mere hours ago there had been a Dark Mark. Her stomach turned slightly and she felt as though there was bad energy here, like walking into a house haunted by malicious spirits.

Shaking herself out of it, she continued on to the courtyard, spying Gabriel waiting on one of the benches there.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm late!" she panted as she rushed over to him. She knew her face had to be pink from rushing through the castle, and now as the cold stung her skin. Her hair surely wasn't as neat as it had been when she left the dorm, and she lightly dabbed at sweat on her forehead, hoping it wasn't noticeable.

She vaguely remembered her own words from back in the dorm,  _well, there are more important things than looks._

Lily of several minutes ago had talked a big game while her hair was smooth and she had yet to dash through several floors.

"I'm just glad you didn't ditch me," Gabriel said with a grin, his breath fogging before him.

"No, no, I'm just… If I'm not early to something, I'll be late, usually," Lily said. "Sorry, again."

"No harm done. Er, here, take this, though," Gabriel said, pulling off his Ravenclaw scarf and holding it out to her. In her haste, she had forgotten to grab her own Gryffindor scarf on the way out.

"Oh, no, you'll freeze," Lily said, though Gabriel had already set the scarf around her neck.

"I'll be fine, I've survived Quidditch practices in this weather," he shrugged, setting an arm around her shoulders. "How was your day, outside the Dark Mark mess?"

"Pretty standard, I suppose, all things considered," Lily said, leaning into his warmth slightly as they walked. His scarf smelled like cologne. It was nice. "What about you?"

"Same, I suppose, except for the obvious tension. Like we were all  _pretending_  everything was okay but we all knew it wasn't, you know?"

"Yeah," Lily nodded.

"Except the Slytherins, they didn't seem to have a problem at all," Gabriel said. Lily frowned and wished that he wasn't correct. The Slytherin half of her potions class was, overall, rather chipper, as though nothing had happened. She had been relieved that Marlene and Severus had chosen not to speak to each other at all, or she was almost certain a conversation much like when the lipstick slurs on the mirror had been found would have resulted. "You'd think they'd at least fake it to keep up appearances."

"I suppose everyone reacts to things differently," Lily shrugged the best she could with Gabriel's arm over her shoulder.

"In theory," Gabriel said. "Honestly, for a bit, I thought it was those  _Marauders_  or whatever they call themselves, just messing around."

"Oh, no, they wouldn't cast a Dark Mark," Lily said, shaking her head.

"Oh?" Gabriel said.

"No, they're idiots, their morals are questionable, but they're not on that level," Lily reasoned.

"I didn't realize you were chummy with them."

"I'm not!" she said quickly. "Well, Remus is fine, I'll talk with Remus, but the others, not so much. But they're not like that, even they've got a line they won't cross, you know?"

"You're sure?" Gabriel said. "You should have seen Black's brother, laughing with some of the others after the fact."

"They aren't close," Lily said, cursing the fact that she knew that. It wasn't helping her "we're not friends" argument in the least. She tried to recover. "Don't you remember that howler he got when he got sorted into Gryffindor?"

"Fair enough," Gabriel said. "Still, it's hard to give people the benefit of the doubt anymore. One of my  _roommates_  called me a scum-sucker before we left for the holiday and now we just don't talk anymore. We've lived together for six years!"

"He called you that? Why, what happened?" Lily said, eyes wide. She got along with her roommates fine. She wasn't best friends with Gwen and Inez, but they were all friendly to each other.

Inez was considered a half-blood with her two muggle-born parents. Gwen was a pureblood, but spoke of it in much the same way as Marlene spoke of her parents, as two purebloods that just so happened to get married, not two purebloods that sought to get married to preserve any prestige.

Lily couldn't picture any of them taking a sudden turn in attitude.

"Abhijeet—you know Abhijeet, right?" Gabriel said.

"Doesn't everyone?" Lily smiled.

Gabriel grinned. "Fair enough. Anyway, he came by the dorm to drop off some banned books he'd found for me and collect his payment and Augustus, my roommate, kind of scoffs and rolls his eyes during the transaction and Abhijeet asks if he's got a problem. So Augustus says that Abhijeet should not be  _encouraging_  my bad habits and I asked, 'since when is reading a bad habit?' It basically went downhill from there, he showed a pretty ugly side of himself that none of us knew was there. Called me a scum-sucker, called Abhijeet a scum-sucker, blood traitor,  _and_  a Cyclops—"

"He called him a Cyclops?" Lily said, feeling her anger swell on AJ's behalf.

"He thought it was funny, honestly, said he wants to get a jacket that says 'Cyclops' on the back. Guess he's been called worse, poor kid," Gabriel said. Lily frowned. "He was also pretty confused as to how he was a blood traitor because he thought you could only be a blood traitor if you were pureblood. Honestly, Abhijeet spent a good while critiquing Augustus' insults, which really isn't uncommon in our house? We tend to feel like, if you're gonna insult us,  _do it right,_  you know?"

"Emmeline did correct Avery's grammar once when he started telling off Marlene," Lily said, thinking back to the previous school year.

"Sounds right," Gabriel nodded. They settled down on a stone bench near a frozen-over flowerbed, their breath still fogging before them. "But yeah, I don't think Augustus sympathizes with Death Eaters or anything, I think he's mostly scared. Either way, none of us have really talked to him, or vise-versa, ever since. We were always on pretty good terms before that, I mean, he'd say some questionable things every now and again, but then  _that."_

"Sounds like he had been holding it in for a while," Lily said.

"Probably," Gabriel said. "Like I said, though, it's hard to know who to trust anymore, who you don't have to worry about."

Lily didn't know what to say. It seemed laughable that any of her friends might turn against her. She had known Severus for so long. Marlene's whole family was fairly outspoken about hating Voldemort. Dorcas was a fellow muggleborn. Emmeline's mother was a muggle, her father working in muggle liaisons.

Petunia had turned against her, sure, but that was after finding out what she was… her friends already knew. She should be fine, right?

"What books did AJ end up bringing you, then?" she said after a beat, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere a bit more cheerful.

* * *

It was early Sunday morning, the sky barely beginning to lighten as the sun began to peek over the horizon.

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs had spent the night exploring the caves not far from Hogsmeade, deciding they should go back once they stumbled across a large  _something_  that was definitely hibernating.

Moony had wanted to investigate what it was, but once it let out an earth-shaking snore and they saw the silhouette of a claw, the others had quickly ushered the curious wolf away and ran.

They had made it back to the Shrieking Shack with no casualties, and for that, they were grateful.

Once Moony had painfully transformed back into Remus, the others averting their eyes and pretending they could not hear his painful murmurs, they helped him back to the secret entrance at the base of the Whomping Willow, and slipped out themselves.

They passed Madam Promfrey on the stairs beneath the invisibility cloak as she let out a yawn on her way to retrieve Remus.

James was back in his human form, with Wormtail atop Padfoot's head so that they could all properly fit under the cloak without hunching over. Wormtail had been squirming for the better part of a few minutes. Padfoot shook his head a few times to urge Wormtail to  _stay still_ as the exhausted boys continued climbing stairs.

Wormtail squeaked and James hissed a  _"shh,"_ as they went, though the map in his hands showed that no one was in this corridor.

Why would they be? It was early, and a Sunday.

Finally, Wormtail jumped from atop Padfoot's head and out from beneath the cloak, turning back into Peter.

"What're you  _doing?"_  James whispered. Padfoot let out a questioning  _boof_  as well.

"I have had an itch on my back I can't reach for the past five minutes," Peter replied, leaning against the wall and wiggling a bit. "It's been torture, just, give me a second here."

"Well, hurry up," James said.

"We're fine, no one is up, the prefects don't patrol this early," Peter said, still wiggling against the wall.

James glanced back at the map again. He folded the map slightly to see the floor directly beneath them and found that a dot labeled "Emmeline Vance," was nearly at the top of the stairs.

"Vance is heading this way," James said.

"I've got time," Peter said, seeming less distressed now as he finally managed to scratch the area on his back he hadn't been able to reach.

" _She rings like a bell through the night,"_  a soft voice flitted down the hall. James and Padfoot leaned close to the wall. Peter squeaked and turned back into Wormtail, looking around, distressed, for his friends.

James was about to lift the clock slightly so that Wormtail could see where they were when Emmeline turned the corner, humming pleasantly to herself as she picked at what remained of a piece of toast in her hands. She wore her school robe with her prefect badge, quite obviously hastily thrown atop her pajamas, which consisted of plaid pants and a ratty Queen t-shirt. She paused upon seeing Wormtail, who didn't move an inch.

"Well, hello," she cooed, kneeling down and offering him a bit of her toast. Wormtail took it greedily and began munching away. "Can't sleep either?"

James and Padfoot watched as Emmeline reached a gentle finger forward to stroke Wormtail's head, smiling softly at him. She gave him another piece of toast.

"I get so irritated when I wake up this early on the weekend," she sighed, still speaking to the rat. "But I couldn't get back to sleep, figured I'd get something to eat. My, you're hungry, aren't you? Here."

She handed him the rest of her toast, which he gladly devoured. "Are you lost? You're obviously a domestic rat. I know most everyone that has rats, though, no one has mentioned missing one."

Wormtail did not respond, now picking at crumbs in his whiskers. Emmeline scooped him up into her hands and stood upright. James' stomach dropped as Wormtail squeaked.

"It's okay, I'll get you some more food, some water, and somewhere warm to sleep," she cooed, stroking his head again as she began walking off. Wormtail squirmed in her grasp and she continued stroking him, humming again as she went.

As soon as she turned the corner, James found Sirius standing beside him rather than Padfoot.

"Of all the girls in the castle, it had to be the one that wouldn't scream at the sight of him!" he hissed as he and James, hunched over beneath the cloak, went after her. They were careful to keep a fair distance away to keep her from hearing their footsteps.

They followed her all the way to the door with the eagle knocker. "This five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it. What is the word?"

"Short," Emmeline said at once.

"Very good," the knocker said, and the door swung open to allow her in.

By the time Sirius and James reached the door, it had shut again. They pulled off the cloak and eyed the knocker.

"Name four days of the week that start with the letter 'T'," the knocker said.

"What?" James said, cocking a brow, going over the days of the week in his head as though making sure that he hadn't forgotten them, as he was sure there were only two that started with a "T."

"This is rubbish, Vance got an easy one," Sirius mumbled.

"Maybe it's because we're not Ravenclaws, so it gave us a harder one," James said.

"Is this a trick question?" Sirius said to the knocker.

"It is a riddle. Name four days of the week that start with the letter 'T'," the knocker said simply. The boys groaned.

Sirius threw the cloak back over them. "Come on, we can't just barge in there anyway."

"I suppose you're right," James sighed. "If we went in now, we couldn't very well get him back without taking off the cloak or having Vance notice anything."

"He'll be okay for now," Sirius said, though he seemed reluctant to leave. "Come on, then."

* * *

When Emmeline returned to her dorm room, she set Wormtail gently on the dark blue duvet atop her bed. As she turned to fiddle with the rather large cage on her bedside table, Wormtail took his chance to rush to the edge of the bed and leap forward.

He bounced gently against an invisible barrier and landed back atop the bed.

"Now, now, you can't go on the floor, Holly's got a cat," Emmeline said softly, glancing over her shoulder as Wormtail squeaked. His heart sank at the thought.

Out of the cage, Emmeline brought out two white rats, which she set down on the bed as well. They stretched and yawned before approaching Wormtail, sniffing him curiously. They seemed overall unbothered by him, ready to accept that he was a rat, just as they were.

"This is Bruno," Emmeline said, tones still hushed as her roommates were still sleeping, pointing to one of the rats. "And that's Boris. You'll need a name too, won't you? Hmm…"

Emmeline pulled an apple she had retrieved from the kitchens out of her robe pocket and tapped it with her wand. It sliced itself into small pieces and landed in her open palm. She set the bits of apple down before Wormtail, Bruno, and Boris.

The two white rats dug in straight away, and Wormtail sighed slightly, figuring that he might as well, and began eating too.

"You seem like a Barney, I think," Emmeline said, gently stroking Wormtail's head. "Fits nicely with the 'B' theme."

Wormtail wasn't sure how he felt about being called "Barney." It seemed like a silly sort of name. But then Emmeline added a few cubes of cheese to the pile of apples and he thought that perhaps he could live with it.

Once the three rats were occupied, Emmeline began quietly setting a few worn out notebooks atop her bed, one of which Wormtail recognized as the one that MacPherson had confiscated. She took a few muggle writing devices of various colors and added them to the pile of notebooks before sliding a guitar case out from beneath her bed.

Wormtail watched curiously, still working on a bit of cheese as she settled herself onto her bed with her guitar in hand and pulled the star-speckled curtains closed around her. She whispered a few incantations, pointing her wand at each of the curtains to provide a sound barrier.

"If I can't sleep anyway," Emmeline mumbled, picking up a pick and strumming the guitar. Soon enough, she was singing along to a song that Wormtail  _knew_ Sirius had listened to a number of times, but couldn't remember the name of.

Bruno and Boris seemed unconcerned by the noise coming from Emmeline's direction. Evidentially this was a common occurrence.

Once she was through warming up, she began flipping through a few of the notebooks in front of her. Some had poems with various lines crossed out or highlighted, others had numbers and lines that Wormtail didn't understand in the least.

"That's tablature," Emmeline giggled, seeming to notice Wormtail looking at the paper curiously. She pat his head again. "Look at you, it's like you can read. I'm working on a song. Bruno and Boris have heard most of it, it needs a chorus."

She continued flipping pages in her notebook and Wormtail wondered if she always talked to her rats this much, as she had already spoken to him more as Wormtail than she ever had as Peter.

A photograph slid from one of the pages as Emmeline went and she paused, sighing heavily as she picked it up and gazed at it. Her expression was soft, dreamy.

"I'm such a creep," she said, turning the photo around to show the rats. Bruno and Boris looked up but briefly from their food. Wormtail tilted his head curiously.

The moving polaroid showed Remus and Sirius out on the grounds, braving the cold for a cigarette.

"I know, I know, it's weird," she said, though obviously Wormtail had not accused her of anything. She turned the picture back around to properly look at it, absentmindedly running her free hand through her hair. "I just saw him having a smoke break with his friend, I had my camera… why does smoking look so  _sexy?"_

Wormtail was now contemplating taking up smoking if he ever got out of here, as Emmeline gazed longingly at the photograph. Surely it would stop making him feel sick after a few cartons, right?

"They didn't notice, of course they didn't, no one ever does," she said, disappointment lacing her tone. "No, no, not unless I'm drunk or high. And meanwhile I sit up here writing songs about him. Pathetic, isn't it?"

Wormtail was very glad that he was not Peter right now and had no obligation to say something comforting to the girl, because he had no idea what to say. He stuffed another block of cheese into his mouth to try and compensate.

"It'll just stay between us, hm?" Emmeline said, setting the photo aside before stroking each rat again.

She set her fingertips back to the frets, strumming the guitar and humming to herself, glancing at the photo as she went.

" _Like a bad habit,_  maybe there's something there," Emmeline mumbled.  _"Let me breathe you in my lungs like a bad habit."_

This continued for a time, Emmeline strumming a few chords and softly singing variations of this line, writing things down, crossing things out. She spent a short while composing a list of words that rhymed with "habit." Bruno and Boris, having finished their food, opted to explore the bed, Bruno eventually finding his way atop Emmeline's shoulder. Wormtail, however, lingered by her notebooks as she worked.

She mumbled something about meter, writing a few more lines, circling things, drawing arrows. The sun rose higher and higher outside her curtains as she worked.

Finally, as the faint sound of her roommates getting up filtered in through the curtains, she seemed to have found some sort of success.

" _I think I could be a spark, light you up like a disaster. I think that if you had the chance, you'd corrupt me even faster. I think I could be a vixen, and hunt you down like a rabbit, so I could breathe you in my lungs, whoa-oh-oh like a bad habit."_

* * *

"You  _lost_  Wormtail?!" Remus hissed to James and Sirius later that day as they visited him in the hospital wing to fill him in on what happened. Sirius had suggested they bring extra chocolate to try and ease the potential irritation that Remus would have with them.

It hadn't worked.

"We didn't  _lose_  him," James said. "We know exactly where he is."

"And I mean, to be fair, it was  _his_  fault for getting out from under the cloak," Sirius said. "And it was really just bad luck that it happened to be Vance that came by and she decided to adopt him."

"So, we know he's safe, at least, but there's the whole issue of getting him back," James said.

Remus weakly shifted, attempting to sit further upright than he currently was. He always looked years older the day after the full moon. "Why don't you just say he's your pet and ask for him back?"

"Because you told her that Peter's afraid of almost all animals after that cat scared him at the party to try and cover for him. And then said it was a good thing none of us have pets outside James' owl," Sirius said, leaning back so that his chair was tilting on its hind legs.

"Shit," Remus said, rubbing his eyes.

"Not to mention, we would have to explain how we  _knew_  she had him," Sirius added.

"People might also notice if our friend we nicknamed 'Wormtail' was suddenly not around and we became fixated on a rat," James said.

Remus frowned. "I told you lot our nicknames needed to be more subtle."

"Says Wolfie McWolfson," Sirius mumbled.

"Shut up, Black Dog," Remus said.

"I don't think 'illegal animagus' would necessarily be anyone's first thought," James considered.

"Yeah, probably more, 'these assholes turned their friend into a rat as a prank,'" Sirius said.

"And sent him to spy on the Ravenclaw girls," James said. "Which won't sit well at all, we'd get suspended  _at least."_

"I am  _not_  going back to Grimauld Place one minute before I have to," Sirius said, the front legs of his chair slamming back to the floor as though to punctuate his passion on the subject.

"You won't have to, we just need to be…  _subtle_  when it comes to getting him back," James said.

Remus snorted. "You two? Subtle?"

"Desperate times, Moony," Sirius shrugged. "Also, can you name four days of the week that start with the letter 'T'?"

Remus considered this a moment. "Er… Let's see, Tuesday and Thursday, obviously, then… hmm. Oh, Tomorrow and Today?"

James and Sirius swore immediately.

"It's okay, we can figure out the next one and get in the Ravenclaw dorms," James said, determined.

"You sure? Emmeline was saying the other night she found Vincent just camped outside because he couldn't figure it out," Remus said skeptically.

"We figured out how to become animagi and we haven't even taken our O.W.L.s yet, I think we can sort out a riddle if we give it real thought," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair again.

"Okay, then, geniuses," Remus said, cocking a brow. "Provided you get in, how do you get him back without anyone noticing?"

James frowned. "We might have to wait until tomorrow morning when everyone's at class."

"What about the Ravenclaws that have a free period in the morning?" Remus asked.

"We'll wear the cloak, we just need to make sure the fifth years aren't there, and we have Defense Against the Dark Arts with them first thing tomorrow, so they should all be out," Sirius said. "And thankfully their girls' dorms don't have the enchantments ours do."

"And if you run into the Grey Lady?" Remus asked.

"We'll use the cloak, it'll be fine," James said, waving away Remus' concerns. "Pete, well, he'll just have to rough out one more night as Vance's new pet."

"Honestly, it's probably not going to be a terrible night, hanging out in a girls' dormitory," Sirius said. "Are we absolutely  _sure_  he needs rescuing?"

* * *

Holly Shepherd was leaning down to get a better look at the rats in the cage at Emmeline's bedside, specifically Wormtail. Wormtail was trying and failing not to stare, as at this angle he could see straight down her shirt, over the curves of her breasts and down to the lacey edge of her bra.

He had already had a crisis of conscious when Emmeline had put them in the cage earlier and changed to go down to breakfast. He insisted to himself that the most he had seen was her bare back and her knickers, but already knew that it would be very difficult to look her in the eye again if he ever got out of here.

"Well if someone lost him, I'd say they lost him recently and were taking pretty good care of him, he's awfully fat," Holly said.

Wormtail squeaked indignantly.

"That's what I figured," Emmeline said, using her wand to refill their water. "But there are only like five of us that have rats and no one's lost one, I asked around at breakfast. I'm starting to think maybe someone left him behind when they left school and he's just been quite good at scavenging since then."

"And avoiding every cat in the castle?" Lisa said, walking over to glance in the cage too.

"I guess," Emmeline shrugged.

"And you're sure he's domestic?" Holly said.

"Oh yes, he'd be bigger if he weren't, and he's obviously used to people," Emmeline said. "Anyway, it's only been a few hours but he  _seems_  to get along with Bruno and Boris, so I suppose I'll keep him."

"No, Daisy, no, you know you're not allowed," Holly said, glancing down at her feet where her fluffy white cat had appeared and was eying the cage.

Daisy let out a meow that sounded very much like  _"food,"_  to Wormtail's ears and swiped her paw at the bedside table, meeting an invisible barrier, much like he had earlier on the bed. Wormtail squeaked and backed further into the cage.

"She cannot get in," Boris squeaked nearby trotting away from their water bottle after having a good, long drink. "Worry not. Our human is good human. Keeps the cats away."

"Have you ever tried to get out of the cage?" Wormtail squeaked.

"Oh no. Cats outside cage. Only leave cage when human says. Our human is good human, feeds us and keeps cats away," Boris replied.

"Cage is big, cage is fun," Bruno squeaked from inside one of the rather large wheels provided to them. "Our human is good human. Keeps cage clean. Gives us wheel. Feeds us. Keeps the cats away."

"Our human is good human, you are lucky she has found you," Boris squeaked. Wormtail eyed the latch on the cage, and then leaned a bit to look at the cat, still on the floor.

"Do you suppose they're talking to each other?" Lisa giggled, still eying the cage.

"Oh yeah, discussing politics, the stock market," Emmeline nodded. "All that good stuff."

"I suppose they've all got the same political leanings, then, if they're still getting along," Opal said from her bed, climbing back beneath her covers and pulling on a sleeping mask. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep."

"You've been up for two hours," Lisa said.

"And it's Sunday and I'm ahead on my homework for once," Opal replied, getting comfortable. With a wave of her wand, the curtains around her bed closed.

"She might have the right idea," Holly said, scooping her cat into her arms. "Shame I've still got another six inches on my essay for Flitwick."

"That's not much," Lisa said. "I've got about eight to go for McGonagall, and then all of Slughorn's."

"And I've got choir," Emmeline sighed, checking her watch. She turned back to the cage and smiled at the rats inside. "I'll be back later, boys."


	33. Rescue Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I don't know about you guys, but I am so ready for the weekend and might take a nap after posting this! If you enjoy yourself, please leave me a comment, I love reading them.

" _You're an awful dog, you know that? A disgrace."_

* * *

Wormtail was trying. He, honest to Merlin, was trying not to do anything weird. He was trying to just act like a rat, with the other rats in this cage.

He had yet to figure out how to escape, unable to undo the latch on the cage no matter how much he tried the night before, and wise enough to know that transforming in the cage would end incredibly badly. He had hoped that James, Sirius, and Remus would have come to fetch him by now, but there wasn't a single sign of his friends, save for the photograph of Sirius and Remus.

He was starting to think that this might just be how he had to live out his life, at least for a while. And if he was going to be a rat, he had to be a rat. He couldn't be weird about it. He was really, really trying not to be weird about it.

Emmeline Vance was making it very, very hard, however, as she leaned down to look under her bed this fine Monday morning, on her hands and knees, wearing the pleated uniform skirt. From the cage, he had an all-too-clear view of her thighs.

 _You can look for ten seconds and after that it's weird,_  he found himself thinking. This absolutely made-up rule seemed very reasonable. Before the ten seconds were up, however, Emmeline stood upright with the hairbrush she had retrieved in her hand.

She took a bottle of Sleakeazy's Curl Setting Potion and carefully set a few drops onto the hairbrush before combing through her damp, ruler-straight hair. She had already put on her makeup, a process which Wormtail hadn't realized would be, well, such a  _process._

After combing her hair, she hummed to herself and began twisting sections of hair around her wand, holding it still for a few seconds before sliding her wand away, leaving behind a neat curl.

Did girls really do this  _every day?_  And Wormtail thought  _Sirius_  was overly concerned with his hair.

Opal seemed to be the only one not fussing over her appearance, simply washing her face and pulling back her wild curls before getting dressed and saying she'd see the rest of them at breakfast on her way out the door.

While Emmeline was busy curling her hair, Lisa was straightening hers and checking over and over again that the part was perfectly straight and down the center. Holly was carefully dabbing a potion over a few blemishes on her cheeks.

It was in stark contrast to the Gryffindor boy's dormitory in the morning, which mostly consisted of rolling out of bed, grabbing what appeared to be a clean uniform, pulling it on, grabbing their books, and shuffling off.

When Emmeline had finished with her hair and pulled on her robe, she disappeared to the other side of her bed, shuffling beneath it once more. Wormtail couldn't see what she was doing, but as she stood upright she tucked something silvery into an inner pocket of her robes.

After loading her book bag with what she would need for class, along with her notebook and a couple of comics, she turned her attention back to the large rat cage. Wormtail immediately pretended to be very interested in a rope that had been strung through the cage for their amusement.

She pointed her wand at various places in the cage, muttering spells as she went to clean any messes that the rats had managed to make since the last time she had cleaned. She refilled their water again and after magically chopping up a carrot, mixed it with some blocks of rat food and set it in a dish for them inside the cage.

"There you are, boys," Emmeline said. She kissed the tips of her fingers and then lightly pat Bruno, Boris, and Wormtail each on the head. "I'll be back later, okay? Be good."

Wormtail watched her leave as he munched on one of the carrots she had given him, wondering if there would be any opportunity to escape while she was gone.

* * *

Dorcas looked up as soon as Emmeline took a seat across from her and leaned forward, her tone hushed. "Morning. Have you gotten Lily a birthday gift yet?"

"Morning," Emmeline said, sliding an omelette onto her plate. "And yeah, I got her a new set of knives and stuff for potions, the kind they use at St. Mungo's."

"Damn, that's good," Dorcas frowned. "Marlene's gotten her a Holyhead Harpies sweater since Lily always comments when Marlene wears hers. I haven't figured out what to get her, though, and we're not going to Hogsmeade again until  _after_  her birthday."

"Get her something from Abhijeet," Emmeline shrugged. "A record or something."

"What's out now that she doesn't have? And would want?" Dorcas sighed. They all swapped records so much that if one them didn't have something, one of the other three probably did.

And that someone was probably Emmeline, honestly.

"None of us has managed to pick up  _One of These Nights_  yet," Emmeline considered. "Lily seems to like the Eagles. Or, um, the Elton John album that came out right when Queen released  _Bohemian Rhapsody_  so no one cared."

"Well  _you_  didn't care," Dorcas snorted.

" _Bohemian Rhapsody,_  Dorcas!" Emmeline said.

"You're not on about that again, are you?" Marlene asked as she and Lily arrived and sat down.

"It's such a great song! Off such a great album!" Emmeline sighed. "But then, Bowie's new one comes out in a couple of  _days._ "

"So, we won't be seeing you much after you get your hands on it," Lily smiled as she poured herself some tea.

"Probably not," Emmeline sighed.  _"Run for the shadows, run for the shadows, run for the shadows in these golden years."_

"It must be killing you not to be able to line up outside a record shop for it the day of," Marlene commented.

"I'm doing what I did with  _A Night At The Opera_ ," Emmeline said. "I already paid Abhijeet and he's giving me a copy as soon as he gets one. And he usually gets them pretty quickly, thankfully."

"I wish we could just order records and have them delivered here," Lily sighed. "I guess that's why AJ has a thriving business, though."

"True. And I don't trust Bubba with anything breakable anyway," Dorcas said.

"It's just music though, getting our hands on it shouldn't involve the same sneaking around as buying drugs or something, you know?" Marlene said, piling bacon onto her plate. "We shouldn't have to lower our voices when other people walk by because 'oh no they might find out we listen to music.'"

"Well, it's either that or get harassed about it at the very least," Dorcas said.

Marlene groaned. "But why do other people get to be openly shitty about it? Why can't we just openly like muggle music, which is not hurting anyone, and  _they_  can go ahead and have to sneak around and hide their shitty opinions?"

"Because historically purebloods have been in positions of power, so their shitty opinions aren't shitty opinions, they're simply  _'traditional values,'"_  Emmeline said, setting down her fork long enough to provide air quotes.

Marlene groaned again.

"I can't decide if I find the fact that wizards are just as shitty as muggles comforting or not," Dorcas said. "It's familiar, if anything."

"Maybe if more of us spoke up, it would become so commonplace that people would  _have_  to get used to it," Lily said.

"Do you want to announce to everyone that you're a muggleborn that enjoys muggle music?" Dorcas said.

Lily paused. She had already encountered the word "mudblood" more than she had ever cared to. She was lucky in the fact that most people outside her year didn't really know about her blood status. "No, I suppose not."

"It's still rubbish," Marlene frowned.

"Er, so how do you think MacPheron will be after we missed his last class?" Emmeline asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Twice as annoying to make up for lost time," Marlene shrugged. "Looking forward to him and Remus butting heads after he taught us patronuses."

"Remus is out sick again," Lily said.

"Damn it, Lupin," Marlene sighed. "That was the only thing that was going to make that class bearable."

"Well, Sirius, James, and Peter should be willing to harass MacPherson, I suppose," Emmeline said.

"Wait a second, where are they?" Dorcas said, glancing toward the Gryffindor table. The Marauders were missing, and their absence was quite obvious once pointed out. The table seemed downright calm without them.

"Huh. That can't be good," Lily said.

* * *

The bell rang to signal the start of class and James and Sirius were on the move, tucked beneath the invisibility cloak and darting through the empty corridor that lead to Ravenclaw Tower.

After checking the map to be sure that no one was heading their way, and that only a few Ravenclaws with a free period lingered in their common room (thankfully not near the door), they cleared the map and tucked it away.

They tugged at the cloak, peaking out from beneath it enough to prompt the knocker to ask them a riddle.

"They have not flesh, nor feathers, nor scales, nor bone. Yet they have fingers and thumbs of their own. What are they?" the knocker asked.

James and Sirius cast each other puzzled glances.

"We told Moony we could do this, we can't come back without Wormtail," Sirius said.

In fact, they had insisted to Remus another two or three times earlier that morning that they would have absolutely no problem pulling this off without him,  _no really, Moony._

"We've got all class to figure this out," James said. They couldn't come back empty handed. Remus would never let them forget it. "So, okay, it's got fingers and thumbs, but it's not a living thing… a clock?"

"A clock's got  _hands_ , not fingers," Sirius said immediately.

"Hands have fingers and thumbs, though," James said.

"Interesting thought, though not quite. Do try again," the knocker said.

"I don't know, a doll?" Sirius said.

"But wouldn't what the doll's made of be considered its flesh?" James said.

"Well unless you've got yourself a leather doll then it's probably not flesh," Sirius said. "And I mean, you could argue that the material that anything is made of is its flesh."

"I still don't think that's it, is that it?" James said, glancing toward the knocker.

"Not quite, do try again," said the knocker once more.

James and Sirius sighed heavily.

James had never given the idea of going to a house other than Gryffindor any real thought. His mother had only briefly complained about being stuck outside the Ravenclaw common room once or twice and he had never really listened, always far more fascinated with the romanticized accounts of Gryffindor that his father and grandfather shared. But at that moment, he was exceptionally thrilled not to have to deal with this every time he wanted to go to bed.

Sirius, had, of course, felt a certain amount of relief when he hadn't been sorted into Slytherin, but now he was sharing James' sentiment as well. This was already more effort than it was worth.

"Fingers and thumbs," Sirius mumbled, glancing down at his own hands. James did the same.

What had fingers and thumbs?

"Primates—no they have flesh," James said.

"Harps have shoulders, guitars have necks, violins have tailpieces," Sirius was mumbling to himself.

"Chairs have arms," James said, trying to follow Sirius' train of thought.

"Shirts have arms," Sirius said, and the pair exchanged glances as though thoughts were flitting in and out from one mind to the other.

"Gloves?" James said after a beat, looking up at the knocker.

"Very good," the knocker said, the door swinging forward. James and Sirius high-fived, triumphant, before re-adjusting the cloak and scurrying forward. The small number of students in the common room were so wrapped up in their work that they didn't seem to notice the door opening and closing.

As quietly as they could manage, the pair of Gryffindors rushed across the common room to the door decorated with the phases of the moon. Slowly and gently, they pried the door open and slid inside.

The twisting steps leading to each dormitory were not unlike their own, though instead of a plaque proclaiming the year of each dorm, there was instead a single star for the first years, two for the second years, and so on.

They had just reached the door marked with five stars when they saw the Grey Lady descending the tower steps, her feet floating a few inches above them. Sirius and James pressed themselves hard against the wall as she passed, praying she wouldn't pass through them and feel their presence.

The pale figure went by, none the wiser, and James and Sirius permitted themselves to breathe again.

James pried the door open and they stepped inside, pulling off the cloak as they went.

It was incredibly easy to figure out which bed belonged to Emmeline. Even if it had not been for the comically large rat cage, inside which Wormtail was squeaking frantically, the bit of wall on the other side of her bed was completely covered in magazine clippings and posters of David Bowie and a handful of other musicians. David Bowie's unmoving face was the most prominent, however, the largest poster being an old advertisement for a concert in which he would be performing with the Spiders from Mars.

"And you think  _I_  want to fuck Bowie," Sirius said, gesturing to the collage.

"Didn't we go to that show?" James said, pointing to the gig poster.

"Oh, yeah," Sirius nodded. He glanced down in time to see a fluffy white cat weaving its way between his ankles. "Well, hello."

As Sirius began to coo over the cat, James approached the rat cage. "Hey Mate," he said to Wormtail. "Sorry it took us so long, we had to wait until we knew they'd all be at class."

"You're a good kitty, aren't you?" Sirius was saying, the cat now in his arms and purring contently.

"Not why we're here, Pads," James said.

"But she likes me," Sirius said, scratching beneath the cat's chin.

"You're an awful dog, you know that? A disgrace," James said, opening the cage and reaching inside to scoop up Wormtail. Bruno and Boris squeaked in protest, but were unable to stop James from removing their new cagemate and closing the latch once more.

The cat meowed and jumped out of Sirius' arms, now lurking near James' feet and looking eagerly up at Wormtail.

"Fickle thing, aren't you?" Sirius tutted.

"Come on, then," James said, setting Wormtail on his shoulder and urging Sirius over so that they could get under the cloak again. The cat meowed curiously and pawed at the hem of the cloak.

"Shoo," James hissed at it as they headed for the door. No sooner had he pulled it open then Pam Barnes walked by on her way down to the common room. She jumped in surprise at the sudden movement of the door and glanced inside. James and Sirius winced, taking a silent step to the side as Pam walked in, looking around to see what had caused the door to open by itself.

"Hm," Pam said, cocking a brow as she glanced about. Her eyes fell on Emmeline's collage and she scowled, walking over to it.

" _Oh, Killer Queen, are you going to sing more muggle music for us tonight?"_  Pam said mockingly, setting her hand to the edge of David Bowie's face and tearing it off the wall. She did the same to Freddie Mercury, to Mick Jagger, to Suzie Quatro, and to Stevie Nicks. Many Bowies were still left in tact, for there was no way for Pam to get all of them, but the largest now lay on the floor in pieces.

"Good luck listening to your muggle music after this, Bitch," Pam said as she tipped over the bedside table opposite the one with the rat cage, this one with Emmeline's record player carefully perched on top. It landed with a terrible crash, the arm snapping off and the player itself breaking open.

The cat hissed at her for the sudden noise but Pam paid it no mind, satisfaction sinking into her features as she made her way out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"You shagged that," James said as soon as Pam was gone.

"We were drunk," Sirius said immediately, pulling the cloak off, all plans to vacate the dorm forgotten for now. He approached the record player, kneeling down to examine it. "Do you think 'reparo' will work? I know muggle devices don't always react well to it."

The motorcycle certainly hadn't.

"It's worth a shot," James said.

Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at the record player,  _"Reparo."_

The broken arm snapped back into place and the splintered wood restored itself back into one piece. The bedside table righted itself and the device sat securely back on its surface. Sirius fiddled with a few of the knobs as James watched over his shoulder with Wormtail, the cat meowing at them indignantly.

"Fuck," Sirius mumbled as the platter began to move jerkily, clockwise and counter clockwise, rather than smoothly in one direction. There was a loud clicking sound as it moved and smoke began to erupt from the back. Sirius waved it away and fiddled with the device some more in order to turn it off.

"Can you fix it?" James said. "I mean, if we hadn't opened the door right then…"

"Maybe, but not before class ends," Sirius said, glancing at his watch. "I'd have to take it apart, look at a manual like I did with my bike. It would have to be a weekend project...  _at least_."

"Shit. Well, leave it for now, let's get Worm out of here," James said.

Sirius nodded and once more they got under the cloak, this time pulling out the map and checking that the coast was clear before they made their way out of the dormitory.

* * *

Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline sat bored in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class, lazily practicing petrifying small mice that had been distributed around the room. There were several mutterings among the class about having learned this spell  _years_  ago and wanting to practice patronuses more, which left MacPherson scowling at his desk as he graded papers.

"They had the right idea, seems like," Marlene mumbled, glancing behind them at the empty row of seats where the Marauders usually sat. "We should have ditched, too."

"My dad wrote the other day asking if we had learned proper shield charms yet," Emmeline said softly, now levitating a petrified mouse back into its box. "No, Dad, we're going over  _petrificus totalus._  Fuck this."

"Shh," Lily hissed, glancing cautiously at MacPherson, who thankfully didn't seem to hear.

"Right, right, can't lose Ravenclaw any more points," Emmeline said. "Although we'd have to lose at least fifty to tie with you lot."

"Don't remind me," Lily said, digging through her bag for a quill in an attempt to look busy.

"That a Ravenclaw scarf?" Marlene asked, glancing at Lily's bag.

Lily blushed slightly. "Oh. Er. Yes. Gabe wouldn't take it back…"

"He  _liiiikes_  you, Lily," Marlene teased. "Think you're over Mr. Grandpa Sweaters, then?"

Lily considered this. She  _had_  agreed to go out with Gabe, so it was clear she didn't have any hesitations, or at least that she didn't believe Remus would be changing his mind about her any time soon. So much had happened since she had spectacularly failed at securing a date with him.

Between her parents considering pulling her out of school, the drama with Marlene and Sirius, the O.W.L.s workload, and the dark mark incident… well, being rejected by Remus was becoming less and less of the dire problem it had initially been.

"I… well, I think so," Lily said, tones still hushed. "Honestly, I think I like the idea of Gabe as the boyfriend and Remus as the friend?"

"Boyfriend?" Emmeline asked.

"Well, um, I mean, he hasn't officially asked me," Lily said. "But I mean, he had me keep his scarf, that's serious, right?"

"Definitely," Marlene said.

Emmeline shrugged. "Maybe he has extras? I have like three, which is stupid. I only have one neck."

"Stop being a killjoy," Marlene sighed.

"I'm not, I mean, I don't know how boys show affection," Emmeline grumbled.

Marlene nodded. "That's true, that muggle bloke at the Bowie show we all went to was definitely flirting with you and you didn't pick up on it at all."

"He was just being nice!" Emmeline insisted.

"I remember that; he was flirting," Lily said with a smile. "Then there was the boy at Honeydukes."

"What the one with the mustache? He was like twenty-two," Emmeline said.

"Twenty-two and flirting with you," Marlene said. "You wouldn't know flirting if a guy came up to you, wearing a shirt that said 'I Love Emmeline Vance,' and serenaded you."

"She'd probably say, 'He must have the wrong Emmeline Vance,'" Lily said, imitating their brunette friend.

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Very funny."

"You know it's true," Marlene smiled.

"I hope what you're discussing is relevant to the lesson," MacPherson said, strolling over to their table.

Marlene, Lily and Emmeline nodded in unison.

"Oh yes, Professor."

"Absolutely, sir."

"Quite."

He eyed them skeptically before examining their petrified mice, as though looking for any excuse to criticize. When he found none, he walked off to the other side of the room to check on the students there.

* * *

"Psst. Moony."

Remus glanced up from his textbook curiously, glancing around. He was safely tucked behind the privacy curtain around his bed in the corner of the room. Madam Promfrey was tending to a first year with early signs of dragon pox all the way on the other side of the room.

He couldn't see James, but he was certain that he had heard him. "Er, Prongs?"

In an instant, Sirius and James pulled the cloak off, a fat rat settled on James' shoulder.

"You got him!" Remus whispered, glad that their plan had actually worked. He had honestly considered that Sirius and James would end up getting stuck at the riddle and get no further.

"Sure did," James said, setting Wormtail down where he was finally able to transform into Peter. He was still wearing his clothes from Saturday night, but otherwise looked just fine as he settled into a chair beside Remus' bed.

"You all right, Worm?" Sirius asked him as James tucked the invisibility cloak into his book bag.

"Yeah, yeah, but I never want to pretend to be someone's pet again if I can help it, though," Peter said. "She has all these enchantments on her bed and on the cage so that the rats can't get out and the cat can't get in. Which is great if you're actually a rat, I suppose. Her other rats just adore her."

"They seemed pretty upset when I took you out of the cage," James said, taking a seat as well.

"Yeah, they accepted me as one of their own pretty quick," Peter said. "Probably the fastest I've ever made friends, honestly."

"I mean we can go put you back if you want," Sirius snorted.

"No, no, I'm good," Peter insisted. He stretched slightly, seeming relieved to be able to move as a human again. None of them had stayed in their animal forms for that long before. "I mean, besides the fact that I will never be able to look Vance in the eye again."

"So, she let you in her bed, then?" Sirius said, cocking a brow.

"She lets her rats run around there while she works on her music," Peter said. He glanced at Remus. "Oh, and she  _definitely_  fancies you."

Remus could feel heat rushing to his pale face. "What do you mean?"

"She was working on a love song, like Padfoot and Prongs said," Peter said, gesturing to the other two.

"That doesn't mean it was about me," Remus said.

"Okay, but she had a picture of you out while she was working on it," Peter said, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair. "How d'you explain  _that_  one, Moony?"

James and Sirius struggled to muffle their laughter as Remus was certain now he was bright red, his mind running wild with the idea of Emmeline keeping his photograph for inspiration for her poetry, swooning and sighing at the mere image of him.

"Where'd she get a picture of him?" James said.

"She's always carrying that camera around, who knows what she has pictures of," Sirius said.

"Er," Remus said, "Never mind all of that, how did it go, getting Pete back?"

"Getting in was fine, but as soon as we were going to leave we ran into Pam Barnes," James cringed.

"What happened?" Remus said.

The others relayed the story, leaving Remus wincing as they described the destruction of Emmeline's property. Truly, he preferred the dramatic reenactments that he usually got of the classes he missed. This was just uncomfortable.

"You shagged that," Remus said to Sirius.

Sirius frowned and glared briefly at James, who had snorted at Remus' response. "We were both drunk! It's not like I thought she was charming!"

"Not like you were  _thinking_ ," Peter grinned.

"Need a bit more blood to the brain for that," James said.

" _Anyway,"_  Sirius said. "Vance isn't going to be pleased when she gets back."

"Think she'll figure out it was Barnes? It's not like we can tell her," Remus said.

"Not if Barnes keeps quiet," Peter said.

Sirius opened his mouth as though to say something, but the privacy curtains were suddenly ripped back and the four of them jumped in surprise.

"Don't you three have class?" Madam Promfrey said to James, Peter, and Sirius, her arms crossed before her. "I don't remember approving any visitation."

"Free period!" James said immediately, standing upright. Peter and Sirius followed suit, and Remus smiled innocently from the bed.

"And if I verify that with McGonagall?" Madam Promfrey said skeptically. She wasn't new to the Marauders or their antics.

"Oh come now, Poppy, that won't be necessary," Sirius said, grinning at her with the most charm he could manage. "Your hair looks lovely today, by the way."

"Have you lost weight?" Peter added.

"You're simply  _glowing,"_  James nodded.

"Go to  _class,"_  Madam Promfrey said, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly in her attempt not to smile. "Mr. Lupin needs his rest."

"Yes, obviously," James said. "We were only trying to cheer him up."

"Hospital, even one as nicely-run as yours, can get a little dreary, you know," Sirius said.

"So much of recovery is attitude, or so my mother says," Peter said.

" _Class,_  boys," Madam Promfrey said, pointing to the door. Sirius, James, and Peter each waved to Remus before shuffling off toward the door.

"Oh and Mr. Pettigrew," Madam Promfrey called after them just before they shut said door.

"Yes?" Peter asked.

"I do recall that the uniform is mandatory while class is in session," Madam Promfrey said, closing the curtains around Remus' bed once more.

Peter glanced down at his muggle jeans and the Quidditch shirt he was wearing. "Oh, right! O.W.L.s year, Madam Promfrey, you know what stress will do to people!"

Madam Promfrey rolled her eyes but seemed to accept the excuse.

Peter shut the door at last and he, James, and Sirius each let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thank you, by the way, for the rescue," Peter said.

"Anytime, Mate," James said.

"Just don't do anything that stupid again," Sirius shrugged as the bell rang signaling the end of class. "Come on, then, we've got fifteen minutes to get you into your uniform and back to class."

"Or, alternatively," Peter said as the corridors filled with student. "I could go back to the dorm and sleep for the rest of the day. I already missed Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Ugh, I don't blame you one bit, we're back out in the snow for Care of Magical Creatures today," James cringed.

"And you lot said it was a mistake for me to take Ancient Runes instead," Sirius said. "Have fun in the snow, Prongs."

"Yeah, have fun trying to figure out old scribbles, Padfoot," James said.

"You both have a grand old time, I'm going back to bed," Peter said. The three each went their separate ways, Peter scurrying off to a secret passage that would get him to the dormitory faster, James heading downstairs, and Sirius heading upstairs.

Sirius had just stepped onto the sixth floor landing when he heard someone call,  _"Oi, Black!"_

He found Gerald Jackson with the group of students waiting for the classroom door to open. Emmeline Vance glanced up from her notebook only briefly as Sirius walked over.

"Oi, Jackson!" Sirius replied.

"Missed you lot in MacPherson's class, it was riveting, you really missed out, eh, Em?" Gerald said, glancing Emmeline's way.

"Oh, yes," Emmeline said softly, nodding, her eyes still on her notebook. "The oh-so-challenging  _petrificus totalus."_

" _Petrificus totalus?"_  Sirius said, cocking a brow. "Glad we, uh, couldn't make it."

"I, er, heard another rumor about us, by the way," Gerald said, seeming to be going out of his way to sound casual.

"Oh? What is it now? I do like to keep on top of what I'm apparently doing," Sirius said.

Had he had another orgy? Perhaps he'd gone after the Ravenclaw Quidditch team this time and Gerald had been invited along.

"I heard that we were going to Hogsmeade together next month," Gerald said. "You know, a lunch date."

"Wait, are you asking me out?" Sirius said.

"Maybe, is it working?" Gerald said, grinning nervously. Emmeline seemed very interested in the closed classroom door now.

"That was a nice set-up, not going to lie," Sirius said. It had been a while since anyone had asked him to Hogsmeade, usually  _he_  was doing the asking, and usually it was an ill-advised, spur of the moment proposition that seemed like a good idea at the time (and usually was not).

It probably explained why the longest relationship he'd been in had lasted approximately two weeks.

And while he had declared himself bisexual to half the school a short while ago, for some reason the notion of actually going on a date with a boy hadn't crossed his mind. When it came to romance, he had been so focused on trying not to feel anything anymore about what had happened with Marlene.

"I mean, if you're interested, I know you and Potter—" Gerald started.

"What, James? We're not dating," Sirius said, surprised. "Do people think we're dating?"

"Well, the popular rumor is that Potter  _really_  wants to be with you and is making sure everyone knows he wants to date Evans as a cover," Gerald said. "You haven't heard that?"

"Oh, no, but I can't wait to tell him," Sirius grinned. He could already hear James panicking and wondering if Lily believed said rumors.

"Right, well, if you're single then…" Gerald said.

Maybe something completely different was what he needed to actually stop feeling like he wanted to punch a wall every time he saw Marlene going on with her life as though nothing had happened.

Gerald was a nice guy. He had dark skin and a sharp jaw, not bad at all to look at. They had already snogged.

"Yeah, sure, why not," Sirius nodded.

* * *

Dorcas sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily and Marlene, the three already working on their dinners. Sirius, James, and Peter had arrived not long after and were settled a few paces away, nothing but empty bench separating the two groups.

"So, I saw your mum's article in Witch Weekly, she was awful brutal, wasn't she?" Dorcas said to Marlene

"That's like her only setting, 'brutal,'" Marlene said.

"I haven't read it yet, it's about the Dark Mark popping up on campus, right?" Lily asked.

Marlene nodded, twirling some pasta about her fork. "Yeah. She mostly is criticizing parents in the article, saying it's their responsibility to teach their kids compassion and tolerance, and if your child is casting Dark Marks for fun that you should be ashamed. I certainly know that if  _I_  pulled something like that, my mother would kill me."

"Yeah but then at the end she criticized the Ministry for not investigating families that were known to be Grindelwald sympathizers, or have been known to show extreme blood prejudice and violence in the past because they still want their money for campaign donations and such, she really went for them," Dorcas said, her voice carrying nothing short of admiration for Mabel McKinnon.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure it was originally much worse," Marlene said with a smile. "Mum always has to fight with Witch Weekly when she writes stuff like that, they'd much rather she stick to 'Tips on How To Raise Five Children That Can't Control Their Magic.'"

"And what is her number one tip for that?" Lily snorted. She wasn't quite sure how Marlene's parents had managed. Marlene and her siblings were great, they truly were, but they were also, well, a lot.

"Get a husband that isn't useless," Marlene said. "Caffeine is a close second."

"Sounds fair," Lily said. Emmeline approached them, looking frazzled, her eyes slightly puffy and bloodshot as she sank into the spot beside Dorcas.

"Look who decided to come to dinner!" Dorcas said. She frowned after getting a good look at the Ravenclaw. "What's happened?"

"Where do I start?" Emmeline groaned. The Marauders a few feet away were oddly quiet. "I went back to the dorm to put my stuff away and check on the rats and  _someone_  went in there and tore up half the pictures on my wall."

"Who would do that?" Lily said, surprised.

"I don't know, but at least that was easy enough to fix. Then I went to check on the rats and Barney, the one I just found, was gone," Emmeline said, rubbing her temples. "The cage was still closed, he wasn't hiding anywhere, there wasn't any sign that the cat got to him, it's like someone just opened the cage, pulled him out, and closed the cage again."

"Why would someone steal a rat? And just the one?" Marlene said, cocking a brow.

" _I don't know,"_  Emmeline said. "Anyway, I was really upset at that point—I'm  _still_  upset—so I thought, okay, I'll just listen to some music and try to calm down before I go talk to Flitwick. But no, I can't even have that. My record player—I don't even know what's wrong with it! It starts smoking and clicking and the platter doesn't turn like it's supposed to, it worked fine over the weekend!"

Emmeline looked to be on the verge of tears and Dorcas set a comforting hand to her shoulder.

"I know it's just a thing, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things," Emmeline said, pausing to take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Em, I know how important being able to listen music is to you," Dorcas said.

"There's too much going on, I just—" Emmeline said.

"Need to turn your brain off sometimes?" Lily said. It was why she and Dorcas took time to get together and dance on occasion.

Emmeline nodded.

"And Barney, I just, I don't know who would take him and I don't know if he's okay, and Bruno and Boris seem  _sad_  now and I don't know how to fix it!" Emmeline said, dabbing at her eyes.

"I couldn't help but overhear," Sirius said, sliding across the bench and settling beside Emmeline, who jumped at his sudden presence, her posture suddenly straightening and her eyes widening.

"I find that hard to believe," Lily frowned. Sirius waved her comment away.

"Record player's busted, eh?" Sirius said. Emmeline nodded. "Er, what exactly is it doing?"

"Black, what do you know about—" Dorcas started.

"It's making a clicking sound, smoking, the platter's jerking around," Emmeline said, her voice small.

"Think I could have a look at it? I haven't fixed a record player before but I managed to get my motorbike running again and it wouldn't even start before," Sirius said.

"It's true," James said, reaching for a dinner roll. "You should have seen the sorry state that bike was in, now it's actually, you know,  _functional."_

"Y-You would do that?" Emmeline said, eyebrows raised and actually managing to look Sirius in the face.

"I mean, if you want," Sirius said with a nod.

"What's your angle?" Lily said, eying the boy suspiciously.

"No angle, Evans, just helping out a fellow music fan," Sirius said.

Marlene glanced up from her food long enough to look at Sirius skeptically. "Out of the kindness of your heart, hm?"

Sirius ignored her.

"I know Bowie's new album drops on Friday, I can't guarantee it'll be fixed by then if I can fix it at all, but I'd hate to leave our resident Killer Queen without a means to listen to her records," Sirius said. Emmeline's cheeks burned bright and she nervously touched her hair.

"Well, I mean, you can't make it work less than it works now," Emmeline said, unable to hold eye contact with him for more than half a second at a time.

"Great, after dinner you can get it and I'll take it back to our dorm to work on it," Sirius said, offering his hand for her to shake. "If I get it sorted out, next party you just have to take one of my requests is all."

Emmeline nodded again and with a slightly trembling hand took his to shake. "Deal."

"Excellent," Sirius said, and without another word he slid back to where Peter and James were.

Emmeline turned back to her friends, eyes wide, and mouthed,  _"Did that just happen?"_


	34. Keep Your Cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! If you enjoy yourself, please consider leaving me a comment. Hope you have a good Christmas, and if Christmas isn't your thing, I hope you have a good weekend.

_Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline each visibly cringed at the invitation._

* * *

Emmeline had pulled the curtains closed around her bed, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. She had packed her record player in its case and the moment it was time to actually leave the room and deliver it to Sirius, she found her hands shaking and her stomach turning.

She had never spoken to Sirius alone before. She always had a buffer of some kind, there were always other people around. She had already been a stuttering mess when he had  _offered_  to take a look at her record player, and she knew that she would dig herself into a deeper hole when she went to drop it off.

"Why do I even bother?" she groaned. Hadn't he just made a date with Gerald? Hadn't she felt her heart plummet into her stomach as soon as he agreed? Hadn't she spent most of Ancient Runes glancing between the two of them as she tried to swallow her feelings of envy?

Not to mention, she and Sirius had never even had a real, proper conversation with each other that lasted more than half a minute. The girl was almost certain that he forgot she existed when she wasn't around.

It wasn't his fault, and he certainly wouldn't be the only one. It was only after her drunken performance of  _Killer Queen_  that her classmates started paying any sort of attention.

Before that, she was Lily's friend. Dorcas' friend. Marlene's friend. That one brunette Ravenclaw—no the other brunette Ravenclaw.

Half-Breed.

She needed to leave soon. How long would he wait for her to return with the record player? Her stomach turned again. She just needed to calm her nerves.

Emmeline pulled her discarded school robe closer to her, digging through the inner pocket for the silvery flask, still full of fire whiskey.

She weighed it in her hand. She hadn't had any for a couple of days. When the Dark Mark appeared outside the school, she had actually been fine for a moment. She had helped usher all the students back to the tower and had calmed a significant amount of younger students that were fretting.

Then Flitwick came by to take attendance, and after that, all they could do was wait. With nothing left to occupy her time, no responsibilities to fulfill, suddenly her mind had spun and raced, dreaming up every terrible scenario that it could. Her heart had rattled her insides and her breathing had become labored.

So she had slipped back to the dormitory, pulled out the flask, and drank the entire contents, chewing on a number of mints after to the point that she smelled strongly of peppermint.

It had worked. Nothing mattered after that. Her brain slowed.

Emmeline unscrewed the lid to the flask.

She just needed to calm down. It wasn't as though she did this every day.

* * *

Sirius had been waiting on the seventh floor landing for perhaps five minutes when Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon strolled over to him, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

"What are you up to, Black?" Lily said, several inches shorter than both Marlene and Sirius but managing to look intimidating all the same.

"I'm waiting for Vance?" Sirius said, cocking a brow.

"What exactly are you going to do to her record player? Make it belch out frogs whenever she tries to use it?" Lily said.

"I'm going to  _fix_  it. You were there when we went over this," Sirius said, sighing heavily. "Although, let it be noted that I  _could_  make it belch frogs if I absolutely wanted to."

Marlene stepped in now and he felt his heart pick up the pace in response. "And I'm sure you don't know  _anything_  about how it got broken in the first place?"

"Are we speaking now, McKinnon?" Sirius said to her, feigning boredom though annoyance seeped into his voice. Marlene scowled. "How exactly do you expect I got into the Ravenclaw dormitory to destroy the possessions of someone that hasn't  _done_  anything to me?"

"Where were you this morning?" Lily said. "You and Potter and Pettigrew?"

"We overslept, it happens sometimes when Remus isn't around," Sirius lied. Honestly, if anyone was waking everyone else up in the mornings, it was James, with Remus being rather fond of turning his alarm off in his sleep.

But Remus was the responsible one, the prefect. It would do as an excuse. Sirius continued. "Is this interrogation over yet? I think machines are  _interesting_ , for Merlin's sake."

"Remember what I told you about making fun of Emmeline? It still stands, don't you dare do anything to prank her, Black, I'm warning you," Lily said, fingers gripped around the handle of her wand.

"I am not interested in making Vance's life difficult," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Does it get tiring being so suspicious all the time, Evans?"

"Well perhaps if you lot weren't responsible for most everything that goes wrong," Lily said.

Sirius waved her concerns away. Yes, yes, he and his friends were singlehandedly responsible for everything terrible in the world.

Honestly, if it weren't for her blood status, Sirius would suggest that Lily Evans and his mother have tea and discuss his many faults in private rather than to his face.

"I'm not going to do anything but fix the bleeding record player," the boy said. "Go find something else to get your knickers in a twist over, I think James might be breathing somewhere, that's probably suspicious."

"Look," Marlene said, holding Sirius' gaze. "Just find it somewhere in your itty bitty black heart to be  _nice."_

"Or boils," Lily said, lifting her wand.

"Whatever," Sirius said, and with a glare each, the two girls marched off, noses in the air.

_Girls, honestly._

Sirius cursed himself as he watched the light hit Marlene's curls before she turned the corner, annoyed with himself for still enjoying the view.

Sleeping with someone else didn't help. Pranking her didn't help. Sometimes he would be working on an assignment or joking around with James and suddenly it would hit him all over again just how angry he was at the whole situation.

He didn't know quite how to fix it. Hopefully going on a date with someone else would take his mind off of Marlene McKinnon.

"Hello, Sirius."

Sirius jumped, having not heard any footsteps. Emmeline was now standing beside him, holding a case by the handle. She smiled.

She smelled strongly of mint.

"Hello," he said, hoping he sounded casual after just getting caught up thinking of Marlene  _again._  He took the case from her, their fingers brushing for less than a second.

"Thank you again," she said. She was speaking quickly. "If I can avoid having to save to buy a new one, I mean, they're not exactly cheap, you know?"

"No problem, hopefully I can get it working again," Sirius said. "I don't know how long it will take, of course."

Emmeline nodded. "Lily said I could borrow hers when Bowie's album drops, so at least I'll have that."

"Yeah, about that, how do  _you_  feel about the new direction he's getting into?" Sirius asked, cocking a brow. David Bowie seemed a safe, neutral topic that had absolutely nothing to do with Marlene. Emmeline Vance could be relied on for that much of a distraction, couldn't she?

Emmeline shrugged. "Every time he releases an album he does something completely different, I mean, it's Bowie, it's what he does. And every time I worry that I won't like it, and then I always do, so I've decided not to get worked up until I've heard the whole thing."

"That's fair," Sirius nodded. "I just hope there's a few tracks heavier than  _Golden Years,_  myself."

"Same here," Emmeline agreed, smiling. "As long as there's some decent guitar I'll probably be happy."

"Happier still if you can play listen to it," Sirius said, glancing down at the case. He prayed this would be less complex than the motorcycle had been. "Probably should have mentioned earlier, did you happen to have the—?"

"The manual?" Emmeline said at once. "It's in there, yes."

"Good," Sirius nodded. "I'll, uh, I'll keep you updated."

"Thank you again, I really appreciate it," she said. "Now, if only I could find my rat that's gone missing."

Sirius cleared his throat. "That, uh, that  _is_  a dilemma. What's it look like?"

"Sort of chubby, gray," she said. "He really was a sweet, if inactive rat. Bruno and Boris—those are my other two—they miss him quite a bit, actually."

"I'll keep an eye out," Sirius said, forcing a smile and feeling a small bit of guilt as he did so. There was no hope of returning her "lost rat," but hopefully he could fix the record player, if nothing else.

"Thank you," she said, her smile far more sincere than his. "Oh, and uh, about that song request, is it going to be something I know or something I have to sit and learn?"

Sirius was puzzled for a moment before remembering what he had asked for in exchange for fixing the record player. "Ah. Good question. I'll have to get back to you on that one, Killer Queen."

* * *

A week passed with little incident. Further rumors spread about the Dark Mark incident, who had been expelled, and how many students may have already sworn their allegiance to You-Know-Who. Lily had been asked a handful of times if it was true that Severus had taken on the Dark Mark. Each time she answered with anger, stating that he'd never do such a thing, meeting only skeptical looks in response.

Soon, personal gossip became far more interesting as yet another week went by, more whispers of who was dating who and who had done what. Sirius had been declared gay by word of mouth and developed the reflex of the two-fingered salute every time he heard a related slur, knowing it was likely directed at him. He had secured a week's detention for casually hexing a Hufflepuff girl that feared sitting near him in the library, loudly declaring that she might "catch something."

Significantly fewer students whispered about Lily and Gabriel, far less fascinating than whatever it was that Sirius was doing and with who.

Marlene had heard quite a few creative accounts of what she had apparently been doing with Benjamin, though she insisted that they hadn't had sex yet.

Mostly because finding a place to be alone was proving difficult.

"So, yeah, Bertha Jorkins  _did_  walk in on us in the broom cupboard but we were just—I mean we weren't doing  _that_ ," Marlene insisted as she and Lily walked through the doors of the great hall for breakfast.

"The broom cupboard though? Isn't that a bit cramped?" Lily said.

"Absolutely, but Rosier and Peggy Madison were using the empty classroom on that floor, Frank and Alice were in that secret passageway, we were low on time and low on options," Marlene said with a heavy sigh.

"Tragic," Lily laughed.

"Well we can't all go the slow courtship route," Marlene said. "When are you going to  _kiss_  Gabriel, Lils?"

Lily blushed. "Soon!"

"Uh-huh," Marlene said as they settled down at the Gryffindor table where Dorcas and Emmeline were already waiting.

"Happy Birthday, Lily!" each of them said as she sat.

"Thank you," Lily smiled. Today, she was sixteen.

Marlene had already sung to her obnoxiously and given her a Holyhead Harpies sweater when they had first gotten up.

"Here," Dorcas said, sliding a flat package Lily's way. Emmeline dug another out of her bag.

Lily unwrapped Dorcas' first, the shape giving away that it was a record, which explained why Emmeline had given Lily back her record player despite not having her own back yet.

"Oh, the Eagles, excellent," Lily grinned. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Dorcas said. Lily slid the record carefully in her bag with her books before reaching for Emmeline's gift. When unwrapped, a set of potion utensils used to prepare ingredients was revealed.

"Oh, these are really lovely, Em," Lily said. "I can't wait to use them, thank you."

"Of course," Emmeline said. "Happy Birthday. Shame we have class today."

Lily shrugged. "There are worse ways to spend a birthday, I'm sure."

"Spent mine at the dentist when I was eight," Dorcas cringed.

"Well, there you go," Lily said.

"Greaseball, three o'clock," Marlene said, taking a sip of her coffee. Lily cocked a brow before turning around to see that Severus had appeared behind her and was now glaring at Marlene, a small package in his hands.

"Morning, Sev," Lily said cheerfully.

"Morning," he said, handing her the package. "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," Lily said, tearing at the wrapping to reveal a thick, hardcover book called  _Essential First Aid and Antidotes, A Complete Guide to Curative Potions and Spells._  She began flipping through the pages, her eyes lighting up. "Oh, this is great, Sev! Cure for the common cold, a cure for acne, how to treat splinching wounds, steps to prevent dragon fire burns from scarring, there's so much in here!"

"I know it's not a very  _exciting_  gift," Severus shrugged, though he was sparing a rare smile. Lily got to her feet and pulled him into a hug, pecking his cheek as she went, leaving his pale face to turn pink.

"It's an excellent gift, thank you," she said as she released him. "Do you want to eat breakfast with us?"

Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline each visibly cringed at the invitation.

"Er, no," Severus said, his eyes darting between her and the Slytherins now, as though to be sure they hadn't seen anything. "I'm going to head back to my table now. Happy Birthday, again."

"Oh, all right, then," Lily said, waving as he went off. Even during their earlier years at school he had always been reluctant to sit at the Gryffindor table with her, and insisted she not wander over to the Slytherin table. He was sure that their meals would be far more peaceful with their own housemates.

However, sitting with Dorcas at the Hufflepuff table and Emmeline at the Ravenclaw table had always been pleasant experiences. No one really seemed to care in that case.

She returned to her seat, flipping through her book again. She would worry about house tables later.

"Are you back to wanting to be a healer now?" Marlene asked. "Thought you had switched over to Auror again."

"I'm constantly back and forth," Lily sighed. "When do we have those career sessions with our heads of house?"

"After Easter, I think, so probably April," Marlene said.

"Lily will change her mind six more times before then," Dorcas smiled.

"Well, all right then, what do  _you_ lot want to do?" Lily asked.

The group fell silent, eyes darting among each other as though waiting to see what the others would say first.

"I want to do something with muggle relations," Dorcas finally said. "I don't know what, maybe muggle liasons like Emmeline's dad or something. Maybe something to help muggleborn children integrate since they do sort of throw us right to the wolves."

"That would be great for you," Lily nodded.

"Yeah, if it exists," Dorcas sighed.

"I'd like to do music," Emmeline mused. "But I know if I mention that I'm just going to hear, 'you need something to fall back on!' And I don't know, I guess something with Ancient Runes would be interesting if nothing else."

"It'd pay well, too, no one wants to deal with those runes," Marlene said. "I really don't know, honestly. I don't want to be a healer, I saw Mallory go through the training and I do not want to do the same. I don't want to be a reporter like Mum. Dad's job at the Department of Magical Transportation sounds  _so_  boring. I just… someone should just scout me for a professional Quidditch team and then I'll be fine, you know?"

"Just remember us little people when you're a famous athlete," Lily said.

"Only if Emmeline remembers us when she's a rock star," Marlene grinned.

"And Dorcas when she's Minister for Magic," Emmeline added.

"And Lily, when she's somehow become head of the Auror Department and Chief Healer at St. Mungo's at the same time," Dorcas said.

"We'll have brunch on Sundays to discuss our many successes while our attractive husbands watch the children," Lily snickered.

"Attractive and generous in bed," Marlene said, raising her mug as though to say "cheers" before taking a drink.

The view of the sky in the enchanted ceiling became obscured as the mail arrived, owls heading in all directions. A bouquet of white flowers landed before Lily, a few petals landing in her coffee, along with a couple of envelopes and a small package that landed near her plate.

"Who thought they were clever sending you lilies, then?" Marlene said, laughing slightly.

"Lilies are lovely," Lily said, though her favorite flowers were roses, with dahlias a close second. She grabbed the bouquet and read the tag. "They're from Gabe."

"I was wondering what he'd get you, he got all panicked when I mentioned your birthday was coming up," Emmeline said.

"I'll have to run these back to the dorm before classes start," Lily said, glancing toward the Ravenclaw table where she caught Gabriel's eye. She smiled and waved, and he did the same.

Among the rest of her mail was a card from her grandmother, with a few bills of muggle money that Lily would probably stash away since she couldn't use it without exchanging it anyway.

She considered that her mother must have sent the card for her, as grandmother was getting on in years and her mind was starting to go. But Lily didn't much like to consider that.

Her parents had sent a card too, having signed Petunia's name as well. As there was no separate card or package from Petunia, Lily wondered vaguely if her sister even  _remembered_  that it was her birthday, or if she cared. The small package they had sent along contained a jewelry box with roses carved into the wooden lid.

"Oh,  _Für Elise!_  I love this song," Emmeline said when Lily opened the box and music began to play. "I mean you can't beat  _Moonlight Sonata_ , obviously, but it's still good."

"Which is the one that goes  _duh duh-nah-NAH nah! Duh duh-nah-NAH nah!"_  Marlene asked.

" _Flight of the Valkyries?"_  Emmeline suggested.

"I want a music box that plays  _that_ ," Marlene said.

"Noted," Dorcas said. "That's a really pretty box, though, Lily, I bet you could even put an undetectable extension charm on it if you wanted, fit lots of stuff in it."

"The ministry regulates that spell," Lily pointed out.

"The ministry also regulates the use of underage magic outside of school and that hasn't stopped you," Emmeline said.

Lily grinned, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "True."

* * *

Despite taking a secret passageway back to Gryffindor tower, which had significantly cut down on her time commuting, Lily had only realized after spending a great deal of time re-arranging the flowers in the vase she had set on her bedside table, that she was going to be late to class if she didn't leave… approximately five minutes ago.

Swearing, she had rushed out of the dorm and through the common room. Eager to take the passageway again, she was distressed to find that George von Rheticus had vacated his portrait and could not let her through.

Another stream of swears spilled from Lily's mouth as she ran down the corridor toward the stairs. She had darted down perhaps two flights of stairs before nearly running into what turned out to be Gabriel, who grabbed her arm to steady her as she skidded to a halt.

"My, my, Miss Prefect, you're going to be late for class!" he teased.

"I know," Lily groaned, though she smiled to see him. "Thank you for the flowers, by the way."

"You're welcome," Gabriel said. "And Happy Birthday."

From where she stood on the stairs, she was just about at eye level with the much-taller boy, his brown eyes dark and warm.

There was no harm, certainly no harm in this. They hadn't gone on a proper date yet but they  _had_  gone on several of their evening strolls by this point and she was wearing his Ravenclaw scarf almost as much as her own Gryffindor one.

Ignoring the nagging voice in her head reminding her that she was  _going to be late_ , she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his, remembering all at once just how fun it was to kiss someone. He happily kissed her back, and they broke away when the bell rang.

"I'm late! You're late!" Lily said, giving him one more, very quick peck before darting around him and rushing off, a grin pulling at her lips as she went.

* * *

"Gabriel Buckley," James said mockingly from his bed, watching as a snitch he had stolen from the Quidditch storage flitted around above his head, snatching it quickly before letting it go once more. "Gabriel  _Motherfucking_  Buckley."

They had overheard Lily and Marlene giggling about Lily having kissed the boy earlier, and James had been in a sour mood ever since.

"Gabriel  _Fuckley_ , if you will," Sirius said, very focused on the record player that was in pieces on the floor between his and James' beds.

"Yes, that's good, Gabriel Fuckley," James nodded, catching the snitch again.

"You didn't have a single opinion on him before he went after Lily," Remus said, glancing up only briefly from the comic book that Emmeline had lent him during the lunch break.

"I didn't need to before he went after her," James said, his tone bitter, as though simply thinking of the other boy was comparable to having a bad taste in his mouth. "You know he's not even a good Chaser, he didn't make a single goal last game."

"No one in Ravenclaw did," Sirius said, picking up a screwdriver.

"He barely scored last year, too, if I remember right," Peter nodded, watching in awe as James continued to release and catch the snitch. He was the only one bothering to pay attention to this, Remus and Sirius already well-aware that James could be a one-man Quidditch team if he really wanted to and unwilling to flatter the boy that much by telling him this.

"It's almost as though his talent on the Quidditch pitch has nothing to do with why Lily agreed to go out with him," Remus said in mock-amazement. "Don't get yourself so worked up about it, Prongs."

"Yeah, you were hard to live with last year when she dated Michael McKinnon," Sirius said, tugging a thick, muggle book he had borrowed from the library closer to him and comparing the device in his hand to an illustration in the book.

"How are you and  _Marlene_  McKinnon doing, then?" James shot back. Sirius glared at him, the book forgotten.

"Haven't you heard? He's given up women entirely now," Remus snorted.

"Ah yes, because liking more than one thing is unheard of, evidently," Sirius said with a roll of the eye. "My heart was just so shattered that I reached into my brains and flipped the switch over to 'blokes.'"

The others let out a slight laugh at the notion.

"Did you hear that we're having a secret love affair?" Remus said matter-of-factly. "Bertha Jorkins told me that we're going behind James' back."

"The nerve!" James said, sitting upright at last, the snitch in his fist. "Padfoot is  _my_  secret lover, get your own!"

"Boys, boys," Sirius said, the screwdriver between his teeth as he fiddled with the pieces inside the record player. "No need to fight, there's plenty of me to go around."

"Maybe you should just date each other and forget Padfoot," Peter shrugged, gesturing to James and Remus. "Either way, more girls for me."

"Imagine the conflict we could avoid," Remus snickered. "No more fretting over Lily! No more—"

He stopped short, turning his attention back to his comic.

"No more pining over Emmeline Vance and doing  _nothing_  about it," James finished for him.

"I'm not  _pining,"_  Remus said, eyes still fixed to the illustrations. "I… admire her from afar, on occasion."

"Yeah, okay," Sirius said, fitting one of the pieces back into place and tightening a bolt. "I'm sure you never think about her when you're  _alone_."

Remus frowned. "Don't be weird."

"Masturbation is not weird, it's very natural, Lupin," Sirius snickered. "Although if you'd just ask Vance out you could just get  _her_  to—"

" _Shut up,"_  Remus said, hiding his burning face behind his comic book.

James smirked. "You already know she likes you, what's the risk? It's not like  _she's_  gone off with some mediocre Quidditch player that wouldn't know good technique if it bit him in the arse."

"The risk is that I am a  _goddamn werewolf,"_  Remus said.

"Moony," Peter sighed heavily. "How many times do we have to tell you—?"

"How many times do I have to tell  _you_  lot that I can't  _do_  that to someone?" Remus said. "Look, Emmeline is great. She's fun, and she's pretty, and she's talented, and sure I'd like to have her as a girlfriend, but she doesn't deserve that. She deserves better."

"What's better than you, Mate? So, you've… got a problem," Sirius said, glancing up briefly from the record player before fitting another piece back into place. "You're thoughtful and shit, girls like that."

"You remember things that people tell you, girls  _really_  like that," Peter nodded.

Remus shook his head. "There are plenty of thoughtful people, plenty of people who listen, plenty of better-looking blokes that  _don't_  turn into a monster once a month. I'm just not good enough for  _anyone."_

"Stop talking about my best mate like that," James said sternly, pointing an accusatory finger at Remus, golden snitch still in his fist. "Anyone would be  _lucky_  to date you."

"I have the biggest deal-breaker you could possibly have," Remus said.

"Unless you've joined the Death Eaters without telling us then I highly doubt that," Sirius said.

Remus sighed. "Just because  _you_  oddballs still like me—"

"We can't possibly be the only ones," Peter reasoned.

"Right, you're not even giving her a chance to react, you're deciding right away she'd be disgusted, and who says you've got to tell her right away anyway?" James said. "Just take Vance for some tea or something and go from there."

"It's not that easy," Remus said.

"Yes it is," Sirius said, watching curiously as he tapped his wand to the record player, which let out a loud  _click_  in response. "You already know she likes you, that's half the trouble. Now, grow some self-esteem and ask her out."

"Lupin and Vance! Lupin and Vance!" Peter chanted.

"How did we even get here, I thought we were discussing how much James hated Gabriel Fuckley," Remus mumbled, closing his comic at last, being unable to focus on it long enough to read.

"Thought I was supposed to not get worked up over it?" James said, cocking a brow.

Remus shrugged. "If it's between lecturing me about Emmeline or complaining about Lily's new boyfriend, by all means, let's make fun of him."

"Boyfriend? I thought they just kissed, is he the boyfriend now?" James said, outraged. Remus leaned back against his pillows, satisfied that he had managed to change the subject.

* * *

It was habit now, these evening walks that she and Gabriel took. It was simply habit to wrap the Ravenclaw scarf around her neck and meet him in the courtyard an hour before dinner, curling up to him closely as they walked, talking about everything and nothing.

"You haven't read  _any_  Orwell?" Gabriel said, the shock clear in his face and tone.

"I don't have a lot of time to read for pleasure," Lily insisted. "I can fit in the comic books I started reading because those don't take very long, but otherwise, well, it  _is_  my O.W.L.s year."

"But you haven't read Orwell!" Gabriel said again. "You've got to at least read  _Animal Farm_ , that one's short.  _Nineteen Eighty-Four_  is better, of course, but if you read that you've pretty much  _got_  to read  _Brave New World_  by Aldous Huxley to compare the two."

"And which do you think is better, then,  _Nineteen Eighty-Four_  or  _Brave New World?"_  Lily asked, genuinely curious.

"They're both good for different reasons. Orwell thinks the things we hate will come to control us while Huxley thinks the things we  _love_  will come to control us," Gabriel explained. "And the tones are completely different, obviously, I think Orwell is a bit more straightforward in 'wow this is terrifying' while Huxley sneaks up on you a bit. I think  _Brave New World_  is probably more fun to read."

"Well, I'll put them on my list if I've ever got the time. I've got  _three_  essays due on Monday, what kind of cruel joke is that?" Lily said with a heavy sigh. She had already started them, thankfully, but wouldn't have time to work on them tomorrow since she was tutoring and had prefect duty, so she would be spending her Sunday surrounded by textbooks for sure.

"You and your mates don't have a homework swapping system in place yet?" Gabriel said, cocking a brow.

"Homework swapping system?" she repeated.

"Yeah, one of you does Potions, another does Transfigurtion, et cetera, and then you swap and, er,  _heavily reference_  the other essays, cuts down on the time," Gabriel nodded.

Lily eyed him in surprise. "That's cheating! And you're a  _Ravenclaw!"_

"Oh come now," Gabriel laughed. "Ravenclaw's full of cheaters, surely you know that?"

"But you're the smart house," Lily said.

"Right, and we don't have time to do all the homework  _and_  our extra-curriculars," Gabriel shrugged. "It's not like we don't know the material or just copy each other outright, it's just getting the work done so it won't affect our grade later."

"I can't do that, it's the O.W.L.s year," Lily said, shaking her head.

"Well, you know what O.W.L.s stands for, don't you?" Gabriel grinned, cocking a brow.

"Ordinary Wizarding Levels," Lily said.

"Overwhelmed Wizards Lie," Gabriel said.

Lily snorted. "What's that make the N.E.W.T.s then?"

"Not Ethical When Tired," Gabriel said. "You haven't heard this?"

"No!" she said.

"Well, it's admirable you're so honest," said Gabriel, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "What was it you said your friends call you? Saint Evans?"

"Oh, come on, don't make me regret telling you that," she said, stopping to turn his way and face him properly.

"I'd hate to make you regret anything," Gabriel smiled. "It would make me an awful boyfriend, now wouldn't it?"

"Boyfriend?" she said coyly.

He nodded. "If you're willing to be the girlfriend, that is."

"You're officially asking me, then?" Lily said, heart racing a bit.

"Lily Evans, will you be my girlfriend?" Gabriel said, his breath fogging before him in the cold.

She stood on the tips of her toes and softly pressed her cold lips to his, hands on his shoulders to steady herself. She could feel him smiling into the kiss before she pulled back and said, "Yeah, all right."

"Excellent," he said, sliding his arms around her and pulling her close. She gave no protest, as he was very warm and snow still coated the grounds. He kissed her far more passionately this time, taking her slightly by surprise, but she kissed back, parting her lips to meet his tongue.

Lily hadn't had a lot of experience French kissing. She and Michael hadn't French kissed very often, and in fact a big reason they had broken up was the fact that, well, they got to a point where they didn't act like a couple as much as they acted like just very good friends. Kissing Michael was unimportant compared to making fun of Marlene with him or talking about bad muggle movies.

Gabriel seemed to have a better idea of what he was doing, and she hoped that she was keeping up well enough. He was so smart, he was so kind, kissing him was so  _nice._  Her heart crashed against her chest, tightly pressed against his. Her arms slid around his shoulders.

Overall, it was a fine birthday if she got to end it by snogging in the gardens with Gabriel.

Lily's skirt shifted and she became very aware that only one of Gabriel's hands was around her waist, her lips slowing as a cold hand slid up her thigh. When he firmly attached his hand to her arse, she was unable to focus on kissing him any more, breaking away and pushing away his arm away in such a fluid moment, it was almost as though it were a reflex.

"W—We're out in the open!" Lily stuttered, eyes wide, the first thing to come to mind as Gabriel cocked a brow.

"No one's around," he said, gesturing to the quite empty courtyard.

"You lifted up my skirt!" she said. Nothing was exposed, she was sure of it, as she always wore extra leggings under the uniform skirt when it was this cold.

She was beginning to wish that she had opted for the uniform trousers instead.

"Oh come on, Saint Evans, it wasn't anything," Gabriel said, pecking her lips briefly. "And like I said, no one's around to see your knickers."

Was she over-reacting?

Sure, no one was around, but she thought they were just kissing, she had signed up for kissing! And to reach  _under_  her skirt…

But was it a big deal? No one  _was_  around and Gabriel seemed more amused than anything that she had reacted the way she did. Maybe it wasn't a big deal, maybe she was being a prude.

Perhaps it was her nerves when it came to sex that was settling in again. She had to grow up at some point, didn't she? She couldn't stick with chaste kisses her entire life, could she?

But did that mean that she should kiss him again, that she should just go along with it if he did it again?

Her heart raced at the thought, and not in the thrilling way it had moments ago at his kiss. This was all anxiety.

"Dinner's started," Lily said, glancing at her watch. "I, um, I told the girls I'd eat with them tonight, rain check?"

"Oh, er, okay," Gabriel said, looking puzzled. Lily straightened her skirt and began walking back to the castle.


	35. Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update of 2017! See you guys in 2018 with the next one, be safe this weekend.

_Lily's stomach lurched slightly; she hesitated as Marlene and Emmeline immediately scribbled out the heading on their notes._

* * *

The great hall had vacated for the most part, Marlene, Dorcas, Emmeline, and Lily still seated at the far end of the Gryffindor table, as Lily had asked them to stay behind so that she could talk to them.

It was times like this that she wished Emmeline and Dorcas had been sorted into Gryffindor, it would be so much easier to have discussions like this back in the privacy of the dorm.

"I'm so full, but there's only two bites left," Marlene said dramatically, prodding her fork at the bit of the chocolate cake she had helped herself to after dinner.

"We believe in you," Emmeline said.

Dorcas nodded. "Two more bites isn't going to fill you with any more regret than you already have now."

Marlene took a deep breath, eying the cake as though it were some great adversary that had challenged her. Bracing herself, she carefully balanced the last bits of it onto her fork, and shoved it into her mouth, raising her fist triumphantly as she chewed.

The other three applauded her, mockingly.

"So what is it that's bothering you, Lily?" Dorcas said, now that Marlene's cake crisis was over-with.

"I didn't say anything was  _bothering_  me, I said I needed to talk to you all about something," Lily said before chewing on her bottom lip nervously. She was stalling, unsure how to get the words out.

"Look, we know something's bothering you, you told us that Gabriel asked you to be his girlfriend and you weren't that  _excited_  about it," Marlene said, setting aside her plate, which vanished from the table as soon as she removed her hand from it.

"Yeah, you seemed kinda forced about it, did the crystal tell you something about him?" Emmeline said in mock-seriousness. Dorcas and Marlene snickered a bit, Lily forced a smile.

"No, no, it's not that," Lily said, glancing around to make sure, once again, that no one was within earshot. "Well, after he asked me to be his girlfriend, we started snogging—"

"Oh, no, is he really bad at it?" Marlene said. "Remember when I kissed Bernard back in third year? Oh,  _he_  was bad at it, in a way I didn't even realize was possible, it's like he didn't even really understand what you were supposed to do."

"Oh, yeah, Amy is dating him now, she said she had to have a long talk with him about that," Dorcas nodded.

"No, no, he's fine at it," Lily said, deciding not to go into the fact that she sort of feared that  _she_  might not be great at it; that was an entirely separate crisis. "But anyway, we were snogging and everything was great, really, but then he… well…"

She could feel heat rushing to her cheeks. Her friends leaned in, brows furrowed in concern.

"What happened?" Emmeline said softly.

"He reached his hand under my skirt and grabbed my arse," Lily said, miming the action with her own hand and feeling silly as she said it.

"He reached under your skirt? What a creep!" Dorcas said, spine straightening and seeming very appalled on Lily's behalf.

"In public though, what if someone had just walked by?" Emmeline said, eyes wide. "A bit tasteless, really."

"You'd been dating all of five minutes and he was already reaching under your skirt?" Marlene said, clearly very annoyed at the idea. "You only just kissed him earlier today! What did you do when he did that?"

"I shoved his hand away, I didn't even really think about it, I just," Lily said, repeating her earlier motion as though his hand were there again. "And he said no one was around, it wasn't anything. Then I made an excuse to leave to go to dinner and I haven't talked to him since. I don't know what to do about it."

"Tell him that if he wants to keep his hands then he should think before reaching up your skirt," Dorcas said at once.

"I don't know, maybe I'm over-reacting?" Lily said with a frown.

"Well, how did it make you feel, when he did it?" Marlene asked. "Like, was it exciting, did you like it?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. I mean. I think it just made me more nervous than anything. I wasn't expecting it. Especially  _under_ my skirt."

"Well, I don't know how any of this works but I thought you, you know, worked your way up to that," Emmeline said.

"Well, yeah, that's a bit forward when literally all you've done is kiss him," Marlene said. "And if it makes you uncomfortable, Lily, you're completely allowed to tell him to knock it off, you don't have to be okay with it just because he is."

"Has Benjamin… I mean, has he, you know," Lily said awkwardly.

"Oh, loads of times," Marlene nodded. "But also, not out in the courtyard? And he tested the waters first by grabbing  _over_  the clothes… also, I might have grabbed his arse, first."

"And how do you do that without it being a huge, awkward thing, then, grabbing someone there?" Emmeline said, seeming genuinely curious.

"I mean, if your hand is already on their hips and that's working out okay, it's easy enough to kinda subtly reach over there," Marlene shrugged. "No need to immediately  _reach under anyone's skirt._ "

"I just, I don't know, I feel like such a prude, like such a  _kid,"_  Lily said, groaning slightly.

"Lily, what would you say to any of us if we came to you saying that someone had grabbed  _our_  arse and made us uncomfortable?" Dorcas said, setting a comforting hand to Lily's arm.

Lily frowned. "That you shouldn't do anything you don't want to… especially not just because a boy wants you to."

"There you go," Dorcas said with a slight smile. "You already know the answer."

"You're just not there with him yet, is all," Marlene said. "Take your time."

Lily nodded slightly. It did make her feel better to have her friends agree with her, to hear that the way she had reacted was not wrong.

In the back of her mind, however, she could not ignore that small voice in her head saying,  _immature little prude._

* * *

A few days had passed and Emmeline found herself patrolling the corridors, shivering slightly as she went, the stone floors not exactly great at keeping warm. She pulled her cloak around her a bit tighter, feeling her flask press up against her as she went.

She would certainly be a bit warmer if she had a little. Who would know?

The Ravenclaw shook her head and marched on, pulling out her wand. She just needed the spell that Lily had made to warm up their sweaters, that was all.

The flask felt so heavy in her pocket as she mumbled the incantation.

Rubbing her arms as the spell began to take effect, she looked up as someone turned the corner up ahead, glad to see it was Remus and that she wouldn't actually have to write anyone up for being out of bed.

She was even gladder to see that he was carrying a large case with him.

"Evening," he said with a shy smile, holding the case out to her, which she gladly took. "From Sirius. He figured if he sent it with me, the whole school wouldn't have to see you with a device that plays muggle music."

"Did he get it to work, then?" Emmeline said. It had been a few weeks since the boy had offered to fix her record player for her, and honestly, she couldn't help the stupid smile that came to her face any time he would insist to her that he was making progress and hadn't forgotten about it.

After all, if he hadn't forgotten the record player, then he hadn't forgotten her.

She tried not to frown slightly as she wondered how easy she would be to forget when her broken record player didn't need attention.

"It seems like it, he tested it out again before I left for patrol," Remus nodded. "All the speeds work, the needle's good, and now we won't have to step around record player pieces in the dorm anymore."

"Sorry about that," Emmeline said with a smile, glancing down at the case. "Oh, but that's great, I can't tell you how glad I am to be able to listen to my music again! If he's still awake when you get back, tell him thank you from me, will you?"

"Of course," Remus nodded. "Oh, and he asked me to tell you that his request is 'Rebel, Rebel.'"

"Oh, good, I already know that one," Emmeline nodded, though her heart raced at the thought of singing  _hot tramp, I love you so,_  at Sirius Black's request.

"Yeah, he said you probably would," Remus said. "Didn't realize you were taking requests though, or is that just in exchange for favors?"

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "I guess that depends on what your request is."

"Crocodile Rock," Remus said immediately, though he let out a slight laugh and was unable to keep a straight face.

"Really?" Emmeline said.

"How about The Ballroom Blitz?" Remus said.

"I suppose that depends," Emmeline said thoughtfully.

"On?" Remus asked.

Emmeline grinned and pointed at Remus dramatically with her free hand. "Are you ready, Steve?"

Remus smiled. "Uh-huh! Andy?"

"Yeah!" said Emmeline. "Mick?"

"Okay!" Remus replied.

And together they practically shouted,  _"All right, fellas, let's gooooo!"_  before dissolving into laughter, their voices echoing down the otherwise empty corridor.

Emmeline found herself wishing that it were this easy to talk to other boys. She never felt nervous around Remus, and she was free to be a giant nerd about comic books or make silly references like she just had without feeling embarrassed.

Imagine if she could speak to Sirius with such ease.

* * *

Wednesday morning came without incident. Slytherin and Ravenclaw were practicing quite often for their upcoming match, causing Lily to see much less of Gabriel since her birthday. They hadn't exactly talked about it, and it had been so long now that Lily felt awkward bringing it up. She insisted it was fine, it wasn't as though he had done it again.

She was perfectly content holding his hand in the hall and exchanging a few kisses throughout the day.

"Tore yourself away from him finally, hm?" Marlene said as Lily settled into the seat between her and Emmeline. Defense Against the Dark Arts was due to start in about one minute.

"I'm not late!" Lily said, blushing slightly.

"Em! Em, there you are," Opal Craft said, rushing over to stand in front of Emmeline. "Where were you at breakfast?"

"The Hufflepuff table," Emmeline said, taken aback slightly by the question.

"Well, no wonder I couldn't find you," her housemate said with a heavy sigh.

Emmeline glanced at Lily and Marlene curiously. Her housemates never needed her during meals before, save for Gerald once when Gilderoy Lockheart had managed to turn another first year a sickly green color.

"What happened?" Emmeline said.

"Well, you remember when your posters were all torn up and your record player broke," Opal said.

"I haven't forgotten, no," Emmeline mumbled.

"Well I was running late today and overheard Pam Barnes and some of her friends in the common room.  _She_  did it, she was telling them!" said the other girl.

"Seriously!?" Marlene said.

"What is her problem?" Lily said.

"You're  _sure_  that's what she said?" Emmeline said very carefully.

Opal nodded. "She was saying that too many people were encouraging you and your muggle music and that  _someone_  had to send a message that it wasn't acceptable."

Emmeline's eyes narrowed, her teeth clenched. "Did she say anything about my rat?"

"No, sorry," Opal frowned.

"Thanks, I'll… I'll take care of her," Emmeline said. Opal nodded, bidding them farewell as the bell rang and returning to her seat.

"What do you mean, take care of her?" Lily asked in hushed tones, concerned.

"Try-outs for the solo for the spring performances are coming up," Emmeline said. "I wasn't going to audition because I was so stressed out last time but fuck it, fuck her. There's only one solo this time around and it is  _mine._ She thinks she can destroy what I care about? Two can play at that game."

"Hell yeah!" Marlene said.

"The bell has rang, outbursts should now cease," Professor MacPherson said loudly and a hush finally came over the room. After the usual failed attempts, MacPherson managed to get the notes on the board and turned back to the class.

Lily's stomach lurched slightly; she hesitated as Marlene and Emmeline immediately scribbled out the heading on their notes.

_Werewolves._

Lily took a subtle glance back toward Remus, whose expression had darkened as he wrote the word down on his own parchment.

Her eyes flitted over to James, who was glancing at Remus, too, in concern. Lily turned back to her notes, hoping not to draw attention to herself as James sat directly behind her and it was difficult to look at him without turning completely around.

She hadn't taken a lot of time to consider that James, Sirius, and Peter knew about Remus. They shared a room with him. Their nickname for him was "Moony." It was obvious, really, and painfully so. She just hadn't bothered to spend much time considering it.

Lily didn't know what to think about the fact that they knew. It was an odd realization, the loyalty revealed in that one bit of information.

"You should all be familiar with werewolves by now," MacPherson said. "A werewolf is, of course, a dark creature that was once a wizard before suffering from—Mr. Potter, what?"

The class seemed as surprised as Lily that Remus hadn't been the one to raise his hand to interrupt. Lily turned around with the others to look back at James. Remus was keeping his gaze down at his notes. He looked uncomfortable.

"What do you mean they  _were once_  a wizard?" James said.

"Well, if you would allow me to finish with my statement," MacPherson huffed. "A werewolf is a dark creature that was once a wizard before suffering from a bite of another werewolf."

"That doesn't answer my question," James said.

"Oh?" MacPherson replied.

Sirius raised his hand this time, but proceeded without being called on. "Yeah, you haven't explained why they're no longer a wizard just because they've been bitten."

"Because they are a werewolf now, a dark creature," MacPherson said. "Five points from Gryffindor for speaking out of term, Black, now if you and Potter would kindly—"

"But it's just once a month," James said. "It's not like they turn into a wolf immediately and never turn back. The rest of the month what are they if they're not wizards?"

"Werewolves are not  _people_ , they are dark creatures, animals. The bite messes with your mind, you're never the same after," MacPherson said with a heavy sigh, obviously quite annoyed. "You can't expect a werewolf to just integrate with society and pretend to be a normal person, they're bloodthirsty."

"So you're saying that a werewolf is  _just_  as dangerous the rest of the month as they are during the full moon?" Sirius said.

"I'm saying they can't be trusted, five more points from Gryffindor for continuing to speak out of term. It will be detention  _again,_ if you continue, Black," MacPherson said.

"Have you been reading Picardy, Professor?" Remus said at once, unable to keep quiet any longer.

"Five points from Gryffindor, Lupin, for talking out of term," MacPherson said. "And yes, I did pick up his book."

"Then you should know that he's been widely discredited and his work has been seen as propaganda and hate speech," Remus said. "Wizards that are bitten don't lose their morals."

" _You_  should know that the main critics of his work have all been werewolves, who would, of course, say such a thing. He has studied many werewolves and didn't come to this conclusion out of nowhere," MacPherson said. "Not to mention all the threats he's gotten from said werewolves."

"And what about the ones suing him for his inhuman practices while he was  _'studying'_ them?" Remus said, now on his feet and glaring daggers at him.

"Which were all thrown out of court," MacPherson said.

"Because the ministry doesn't consider them to be people, so no laws were  _technically_  broken. It was a technicality, and  _he_  has the nerve to go around calling other people monsters," Remus said. "He was the one encouraging the extermination of werewolves."

"Werewolves  _are_  monsters. It is why they are in this curriculum; it is why you must be able to identify one and why you must be able to defend yourself against one, Mr. Lupin. Another five points for being argumentative," MacPherson said.

"You'd better just make it ten," Remus said, haphazardly shoving his things back in his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. The class watched with wide eyes as he stormed out of the classroom.

Remus and MacPherson had argued nearly every day, but Remus had never  _left the room_.

James stood as well, beginning to put his things in his bag. Sirius followed suit, as did Peter.

"Potter, Black, Pettigrew, sit down!" MacPherson said angrily. The boys paid him no mind, walking away from their desks.

Lily's stomach sank. Remus storming out alone, specifically during the werewolf lesson would be suspicious. They were leaving too in order to support him, to maybe keep away any suspicion. Peter and Sirius simply ignored MacPherson as he called after them, stating that he'd be taking more and more points if they left.

James, however, turned back and cast MacPherson a defiant smirk before following the others out the door.

Lily watched him go and turned back to MacPherson, a frown settling in her features as that stupid, stupid smirk flitted through her mind.

Before she knew what she was doing, she was on her feet and screwing the lid back on her inkwell.

"Lily, what're you—?" Marlene started.

"Miss Evans, do you wish to lose Gryffindor  _even more_  points?" MacPherson demanded.

"You can't talk about people like this!" Lily said at once. "This is why we're at war, this is why Voldemort—"

Gasps erupted in the room.

" _Miss Evans!"_

" _Lily!"_

Lily rolled her eyes. "This is why You-Know-Who has followers. This kind of mindset that some people aren't actually people and don't matter. The idea that some wizards are better than others. I can't sit here and listen to it, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Is this the hill you want to die on, Evans? Defending  _werewolves?"_  MacPherson sneered.

"Maybe it is," Lily said, sliding her quill back in its case.

After a beat, Marlene stood up as well, using her arm to slide her things back into her bag all at once. Emmeline's eyes darted between her two friends helplessly before sighing heavily and grabbing her bag as well.

"I will take fifty points each from every student that walks out that door before I dismiss them, do you hear me?" MacPherson said.

"Loud and clear," Marlene said. "The amount of eyeshadow I wear does not affect my hearing."

"Ten points for cheek, McKinnon!"

Emmeline, Marlene, and Lily each headed for the door. There was a bit of shuffling as Billy Stebbins and Opal Craft each got up to leave as well.

The other students in class looked nothing short of confused, and slightly distressed at what was happening, looking between the enraged MacPherson and the students that were leaving. No one else made any move to leave. A few seemed to be doing mental math to see just how far this would put them in the house points.

The door closed behind the group and Lily sighed slightly, realizing that Remus and the rest of the Marauders were long gone. She had hoped to talk to him, to assure him that he was not the monster MacPherson said he was.

Hopefully his friends were doing just that.

"You know, Lily, I never really thought about it that way, but it's true, isn't it? We do treat werewolves like that, and it's really not okay, is it?" Marlene said thoughtfully, a dark expression falling over her face now that they were out of the classroom. It truly seemed that it had never occurred to her to bother even  _trying_  for empathy when it came to werewolves. She certainly wasn't alone.

Lily nodded. She wished she could reveal what Remus was. She knew it would change so many opinions. He was kind and well-liked among so many people.

But she couldn't do that to him.

If she could help make his storming out of class seem less personal, though, and if she had changed even just Marlene's mind, well, it was something.

"Oh, we're gonna get detention," Emmeline said, glancing back at the classroom. "I wonder if they'll write our parents."

"Who cares? We're not going to learn anything from him anyway," Marlene said.

"Are werewolves really not considered people to the Ministry?" Opal asked. Billy nodded.

"They're grouped in as 'sub-human.' Vampires are, too, and goblins, house elves, centaurs. Why do you think the goblins have had so many rebellions?" he said.

Emmeline frowned. "Grindelwald wanted muggles and muggleborns in that category, too. Now with You-Know-Who…"

"It's such a slippery slope," Marlene cringed. "I'm glad we walked out, I'm glad people keep calling MacPherson out, we  _have_  to. Ugh, I'm writing my mum about this, now  _this_  is worth an article!"

* * *

Remus sat in an armchair by the fire, mostly silent ever since he had marched out of the classroom, having not expected his friends to join him. It had been quiet the entire walk back to the common room, no one offering a word, perhaps unsure of where to start.

"We've got to be in the negatives now, huh?" he said at last to break the silence.

"Eh, I'm all about house pride but house points? Rubbish," Sirius shrugged. "We made that vein in MacPherson's forehead stick out, I'd say it was a successful class."

"You lot didn't have to leave too, you know," Remus said softly.

"Well it's a little suspicious if the one time you leave class is during the werewolf lesson," James said after a quick glance around. Everyone else was in class, or if they had a free period, they were off to the library or still sleeping.

"And it's really awkward sitting there and listening to him talk bad about you, so," Peter shrugged.

Remus smiled. "Well, thanks."

"I wonder if he'll put all of us in detention together," Sirius mused.

"Well, not if he's learned anything the past few months," James said. "To be fair, we haven't learned anything from him, so."

The portrait hole swung open and Lily and Marlene climbed inside, speaking among themselves as they went.

"What are you two doing here?" Remus said, standing from the armchair. Had MacPherson dismissed the class?

"We left, too," Lily said. "You were right to leave, he was just promoting hate, the same kind of hate we're supposed to be  _fighting_  right now. Emmeline left, too, and Opal and Billy. Everyone else is having a  _fascinating_  lesson right now, I imagine."

"I didn't mean to  _start_  something," Remus said, feeling heat rush to his cheeks. That made most of the Gryffindors and almost half the Ravenclaws in that class that had walked out. He didn't know what to think about them doing so on behalf of werewolves.

He reasoned with himself that some of them must have simply wanted to skip class.

"Oh, please," James said. "You, Frank, and Alice have been the face of the 'MacPherson is the Worst' movement since day one. It was only a matter of time."

"Potter's right," Lily shrugged. James perked up, giving her a charming smile.

"I am?" he said.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't push it."

"Have you  _met_  me?" James said.

"Anyway, I'm looking forward to  _really_  learning about werewolves at the next study session, Professor Lupin," Lily said with a smile, ignoring James before heading for the girl's dorm with Marlene at her heel.

* * *

The amount of students that had filed in to MacPherson's class after dinner that evening was almost enough for an actual class.

The Marauders were there, obviously, as well as Lily, Marlene, and Emmeline. Opal and Billy had been summoned as well.

Dorcas, upon hearing what had happened, hadn't bothered going to her session of MacPherson's class at all, along with Howard Glass and Paul Livingston, her fellow Hufflepuffs.

A single Slytherin, Eileen Sims, had also ditched the Hufflepuff and Slytherin session of MacPherson's class that day, and had received notice to appear now, as well.

"I am disappointed in all of you and have sent owls to all of your parents, as well as memos to all of your heads of house," MacPherson said. A few students cringed at the thought. The Marauders, in particular, seemed almost bored at the declaration, as though they had heard the same thing dozens of times before. "Not to mention, three of you are prefects. You're meant to be setting a good example for other students, are you not?"

Emmeline shifted uncomfortably. Lily avoided MacPherson's gaze.

Remus looked him right in the face, unamused.

"You will all be writing lines tonight," MacPherson said, gesturing to the board.

It read:  _Werewolves are monsters, and skipping class is detrimental to my education._

"You will fill five rolls of parchment each, front and back. I will be making the seating arrangement, since many of you are here with your  _friends._  There will be no talking. Evans, first seat there," MacPherson said, pointing to the seat in question. Lily glanced at Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline briefly before heading for the seat. "Simms, you're next. Potter, next to Simms. Meadowes, next to Potter."

He skipped a row of seats before pointing to the next one. "Pettigrew, first seat. Glass, after him. McKinnon, next to Glass. Stebbins, next to McKinnon."

MacPherson pointed to another row. "Craft, first seat. Livingston, next to her. Black, next to Livingston. Vance, next to Black."

Emmeline caught each of her friends glancing her way as she took a seat next to Sirius and began pulling out her quill and ink, unsure how she was supposed to focus on writing anything with him  _right there_.

"And that just leaves Mr. Lupin," MacPherson said, crossing his arms before him. It was difficult to tell who was more irritated, more defiant: student or teacher. "You'll be over there, Lupin, in the desk closest to mine. You get to do  _six_  rolls of parchment as the instigator of all this."

" _Fine,"_  Remus practically growled, heading for the desk in question.

"Start now, you won't be leaving until you're finished," MacPherson said, and with a wave of his wand, the appropriate amount of parchment appeared before each of them.

"Come here often?" James mumbled to Dorcas, who snorted slightly in response. Thankfully, MacPherson didn't seem to notice.

A few rows away, Emmeline froze as Sirius leaned a bit closer to her. He smelled like tobacco. Her heart raced. He spoke quite softly, and said, "You're gonna want to write bigger than that, Killer Queen."

Remus was already on his third line, only sparing a glance upward to exchange a glare with MacPherson.

The sound of scratching quills was thick in the air as the students accepted their punishment, writing out their lines one after another. Peter had taken to writing a whole line of "werewolves" down the length of the parchment, before starting at the top again to write a whole line of "are," convinced that this way was faster.

After casting a glance MacPherson's way to be sure that he was busy grading, James turned in his seat toward Sirius. When the other boy met is eye, James nodded and Sirius gave him the thumbs up.

Emmeline, who had been having a terrible time focusing on her lines with Sirius right beside her, noticed the boy reaching for his wand, though he was being very careful about the whole thing.

Dorcas, up in the front row, had noticed James reaching for his, as well.

Sirius waved his wand first, extinguishing every candle in the classroom at once. Covered by darkness and the subsequent confusion, James mumbled an incantation, the results of which Dorcas could not see.

There were several loud bangs as every book on the shelves fell forward and hit the ground. Several other loud noises followed, including a dragging sound, a crash, a shattering sound, and the menacing howl of the wind outside as the windows opened and closed in great succession.

After a bit of struggling, MacPherson managed to magically relight the candles, revealing the classroom in a state of complete chaos, James and Sirius having put their wands away.

A few of the window panes had shattered, every book littered the floor, some of them with pages scattered about. MacPherson's desk was on its side, all his possessions that had been on top rolling around the floor in a puddle of ink.

The words previously written on the blackboard had been replaced with several odd symbols and the word, "BEWARE."

MacPherson paled as he took everything in, glancing around at the students wildly, who also looked surprised at the turn of events, none of which had their wands out.

"W-What did you do?" he demanded suddenly, pointing at Remus.

"I didn't do anything, I was writing lines!" Remus said, gesturing to the quill in his hand.

"Surely you would have noticed if Remus had taken out his wand, Professor?" Lily said.

MacPherson looked around frantically, hoping to find some form of explanation. "You, then, Black! You did it!"

"What evidence do you have of that?" Sirius said, faking outrage quite convincingly.

"You've been summoning dark beings to go after me all year, haven't you?  _Haven't you?"_  MacPherson accused.

"Do you hear what you're saying, Professor? Dark beings, really?" Dorcas said.

"I—I would have noticed if he did anything, Professor," Emmeline said. "He was writing lines when the lights went out."

"Then Potter! Pettigrew! I know your little group had  _something_  to do with this," MacPherson practically roared.

"James didn't do anything,  _I_  would have seen," Dorcas lied.

Eileen Simms shook her head. "I didn't see anything either, Sir."

"And Pettigrew didn't do anything, or  _I'd_  have seen," Howard Glass said.

"Whatever happened, sir, it wasn't any of us," Lily said.

"Something unrelated must be going on… you haven't  _upset_  any dark beings recently, have you?" Marlene asked.

MacPherson glanced back at the blackboard again. His face was still pale, even in his rage he had failed to regain any color. His hands were shaking and he seemed to be scrambling for an explanation.

He didn't have one.

"G-Get out! Detention is cancelled! I have to get the headmaster!" MacPherson stuttered before sprinting to the door of his classroom, abandoning his students.

The door slammed behind him and the students cheered, triumphant.

"And you said it wasn't worth it to make him think he was being hunted down by demons," James called to Remus as soon as MacPherson was gone.

"Fine, I stand corrected," Remus grinned as everyone got to their feet.

"That was cruel," Lily said, though the corners of her mouth twitched in her effort not to smile.

"You still went along with it, Evans," Sirius said, letting out a bark-like laugh. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well, I wanted out of detention. It was still cruel," she said, though she had lost her battle with the muscles in her face and was smiling now as she pulled her bag over her shoulder.

"It sure was, well done," Dorcas smiled, gathering her things.

"I'm glad someone appreciates our work," James said, bowing to Dorcas dramatically. The girl laughed.

"I think we all do right now, thanks," Billy said, saluting James before heading for the door with Opal. Howard and Paul were already gone, having not waited an instant after MacPherson dismissed them.

Eileen Simms sighed slightly. "Don't suppose he'll have us make this up at another time?"

"I guess we'll see, maybe he'll be distressed enough that he forgets," Emmeline shrugged. "I don't suppose you could pull that off a second time."

"We would just have to come at it with a different angle if we end up back here again," Sirius said casually, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he walked to meet up with the others. "We'll figure it out."

"Well, I certainly believe that if anyone can find new ways to irritate a teacher, it's you lot," Eileen said as she shuffled past, hands in her pockets.

"Maybe some fake blood next time," Peter suggested, hand to his chin thoughtfully.

"We need to stock up, we're out," Remus nodded.

"I like that you guys just have a stash of fake blood," Dorcas snorted.

"Well we did, but we used it all already," Sirius grinned.

Lily frowned. "For what?"

"I'll tell you if you go out with me, Evans," James said, ruffling the back of his hair.

Lily rolled her eyes, walking with Dorcas, Marlene, and Emmeline toward the door. "I'll never be  _that_  curious, Potter."


	36. We’re Teenagers; We Don’t Know Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update of 2018! We're getting into Valentine's Day, which was pretty fun to write, let me know what you think.

_“I’m just practicing for when you’ve got one.”_

_“What? Me? Do you know something I don’t?”_

* * *

 

It was Valentine’s Day, a Saturday, and the student body as a whole was far more annoying than usual in honor of the event.

Breakfast had been a huge display of pinks and reds, with flowers and chocolates and singing cards showering upon those that happened to be in a relationship on this fine day. Lily had received another bouquet from Gabriel, more lilies, while Marlene had received chocolates from Benjamin. Dorcas had gotten a box too, one that she had sent herself and immediately shared with Emmeline, who had received a card from her parents, which she found more embarrassing than anything.

It was difficult to walk more than ten feet without finding a pair of teenagers wrapped tightly around each other in a passionate public display of affection, far too many for the professors to properly break them all up.

The common room was full of them, too, hogging all the good couches and armchairs.

Then there were the moody groups of people that were single, loudly proclaiming that Valentine’s Day was really quite a stupid holiday, and they were glad, _really glad_ , that they weren’t dating anyone and obligated to participate.

It was all incredibly obnoxious, and it was doubtful that the Hogsmeade visit that day would be any less so.

The Marauders were in their dorm room, milling about in an attempt to get ready for said Hogsmeade visit, having gone to breakfast largely in their pajamas rather than properly get ready earlier.

“Sure you don’t want to go to the hospital wing?” James asked, gently poking at the lump of blankets, underneath which Remus Lupin was hiding. The following night was the full moon.

“I was _just there_ ,” came a muffled voice.

“Yeah, funny how the moon cycle is a monthly thing,” Sirius said, pulling on his leather jacket and running a hand through his hair.

“Hey Pads,” Peter said.

“Yeah?” Sirius asked.

“So you’ve got a date with Jackson today,” Peter said. “Who pays for everything when two blokes go out?”

“Girls are allowed to have money of their own now, you know that, don’t you?” Remus’ voice came from his pile of blankets.

“Yeah, and come on, Worm, one of us doesn’t have to be ‘the girl,’ or whatever,” Sirius said, cocking a brow. “And I assume he’s paying, he asked me, after all.”

“I mean that would make sense,” James shrugged. “Have fun on your _date_ though, I guess Worm is gonna have to be my Valentine this year, what with you off with Jackson and Remus hiding from the moon.”

“I will be a great Valentine, Prongs, I’ll buy you a chocolate frog and everything,” Peter said with a short nod.

“Excellent,” James said. “We’ll hit Honedukes at some point, then, and after that we can hit the bookstore and Zonko’s.”

“You’re going to the bookstore?” said the lump of blankets that used to be Remus.

“I said we were buying all the books on the list Barnes gave Padfoot,” James said, nodding though Remus couldn’t see.

“I had hoped you would have forgotten about that,” Sirius groaned.

“Oh no, it’s about time we studied something _useful,”_ James laughed.

Remus finally peaked out from beneath his blankets, rubbing his eyes. “Prongs, will you do me a favor?”

“What’s the favor?” James asked, kneeling beside his bed to glance underneath it in search of his other glove.

“When you go to the bookstore can you please get me another bottle of ink? I’m nearly out. Just the cheapest one they have, I’ll pay you back,” Remus said.

James stood up, having found his glove and pulling it on. “Pay me back? For ink? Nonsense, it’s ink. I’ll get you the large bottle, I need to get some too, don’t worry about paying me back.”

“You don’t have to do that, I can pay you back for one cheap ink bottle,” Remus said.

James shook his head. “I’m getting you an ink bottle, you’re not paying me back, that’s the deal, Lupin.”

“Really, Prongs—” Remus started.

“It’ll just be faster if you agree to take the ink bottle,” Sirius said, fastening his Gryffindor scarf around his neck.

“He’s right,” Peter nodded.

“Fine. Thank you,” Remus said, hiding under the blankets yet again. “Let me know how Hogsmeade goes.”

“We will. Drink water, and if you start getting really sick, go to the damn hospital wing,” James said, patting the pile of blankets.

Remus made a noncommittal sound in response. His friends bid him farewell and departed the dormitory, leaving Remus with what would be a rare few hours of peace and quiet in the place.

They had just started heading down the steps of the grand staircase when someone called out “Oi, Black!”

Sirius, James, and Peter each turned to see who was calling. AJ rushed over to them, grinning broadly.

“All right, AJ?” Sirius asked.

“Oh yeah,” AJ nodded. “You appreciate leather jackets, don’t you? Check it out.”

The boy turned about on the spot to show them the back of his jacket, decorated with a very large eyeball, the word “CYCLOPS” embroidered above it.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. “I like it.”

“Nice,” James said in agreement.

“Cool,” Peter added.

“Thanks,” AJ said, turning back around as they began walking down the steps again. “A Valentine’s gift to myself, I suppose.”

“No date today, then?” James said.

AJ shook his head. “Nah, I’m gonna take the Knight Bus into London to pick up some more supplies. It beats watching our classmates snog each other.”

“Fair enough,” James said. “Have fun on the Knight Bus, though.”

“Yeah, it’s not my favorite way to travel but it’s either that or take the train and don’t get in there until nightfall,” AJ shrugged. “And you lot? I know Gerald mentioned having a date with you, Black.”

“Yeah, I’m meeting him down at the gates,” Sirius nodded.

“Evans still hasn’t realized my charms—” James started.

“And has a boyfriend,” Peter said.

“—so I’ll be going stag,” James finished. AJ cocked a brow when Sirius and Peter snorted at this statement, not sure why it was so funny.

“Girls have yet to realize what a catch I am, unfortunately,” Peter shrugged.

“Our day will come! Eventually! Not you, Black, you’re peaking now,” AJ said, chuckling slightly at Sirius’ appalled face.

“Some of us just keep getting better,” Sirius insisted. “You’ll see.”

“I’ll keep an eye out,” AJ grinned.

* * *

 

Emmeline and Dorcas sat in the Three Broomsticks, sipping butterbeer and watching the variety of customers that came and went. They dared not visit Madam Puddifoot’s as they often liked to, knowing very well that every table would be occupied with snogging couples today.

“What do you suppose this guy’s life story is?” Emmeline said as a very tall, very thin man in a top hat strode inside, checking a comically large pocket watch and looking around nervously.

“He lied in his personal ad and said that he was six and a half feet tall,” Dorcas said in tones only loud enough for Emmeline to hear. “And he’s only got the stilt rental until noon, but his date is running late.”

“I like it,” Emmeline nodded. “I was personally going to go with ‘took a polyjuice potion to take someone else’s place on their date’.”

“Also a good story,” Dorcas said, glancing at her own watch. “We’ve got about forty-five minutes still before we give Marlene her out.”

Emmeline sighed heavily. “I hope it’s going well, I don’t want to pretend to faint again.”

“Well, she and Ben seem to be getting along,” Dorcas shrugged, taking another sip of her butterbeer before wiping foam from her lip.

“Yeah but are they actually going to talk during this date or play tonsil Quidditch?” Emmeline said, cocking a brow. Dorcas snorted.

“I suppose that’s a fair question. I’m a bit more concerned about Lily and Gabriel, honestly.”

Emmeline nodded. “She keeps insisting an awful lot that everything’s going great with him. Am I the only one that gets skeptical the more she says it?”

“Oh no, I’m a bit suspicious of him, too. It seems like she’s trying to convince herself more than us,” Dorcas said. “I guess we’ll have to see how it plays out and if we have to beat him up.”

“Is threatening physical violence going to become a constant thing now?” Emmeline said, pulling over a napkin to wipe at a bit of butterbeer that had been spilled on the table.

“Well it’s not as though we’re learning much on the magic front, thanks MacPherson,” Dorcas sighed, watching as a few more patrons strolled into the bar, hand-in-hand. “Have your parents written to you about the detention we got, by the way?”

“Yeah, my dad did. He took it pretty well, actually, he seems to think that MacPherson is a bit of a joke and said he intends to teach me some spells when I go home for the summer,” Emmeline said.

“Well, MacPherson _is_ a joke. And how’s he going to do that? You aren’t seventeen yet,” Dorcas pointed out.

“Well, the trace just picks up that magic is happening, not who’s doing it. Lily always gets caught because the ministry knows she’s muggleborn, so if magic is happening at her household, it’s obviously her,” Emmeline explained. “I live with an adult wizard, so I can get away with a bit more.”

Dorcas scowled. “That isn’t fair at all! No wonder none of the McKinnons ever got in trouble for that.”

Emmeline nodded. It was true, every time they visited the McKinnon household over the summer, it was not uncommon to see Marlene or her siblings sneaking spells at each other, even when her older siblings had been too young to do so.

“Did your parents ever write you about the detention?” Emmeline asked.

“Oh, did I not mention that? My brother intercepted the owl, so they don’t know, and I get to do his chores for a week when I get back so they don’t find out. He wrote me and said he didn’t understand why I was skipping a class at _magic school_ but he was also pretty excited that werewolves exist and asked about twenty questions,” Dorcas said.

“It’s a shame he didn’t turn out to be a wizard,” Emmeline mused before finishing off her butterbeer.

“Yeah, I think he would have liked Hogwarts and Quidditch. But he’s also rather enjoying that none of his teachers call him ‘Dorcas’ little brother’ anymore, so,” Dorcas said with a shrug.

“I can imagine, just based on the sour look that Marlene gets whenever someone calls her ‘Mallory’ by mistake,” Emmeline said. It didn’t happen a lot, most professors sticking with “Miss McKinnon,” but it wasn’t unheard of.

“Hmm… I wonder how Mallory’s doing,” Dorcas said thoughtfully.

“Marlene hasn’t said anything, so I imagine she’s doing all right,” Emmeline shrugged. She checked her watch and sighed. “How has only five minutes passed?”

* * *

 

James and Peter were not bitter in the least about Sirius being off on a date and Remus being back in the dorm sick. No sir, they were completely content, the two of them, and had accomplished quite a bit since entering Hogsmeade.

They had picked up the ink for Remus, the books on the list given to Sirius, a book for Remus' birthday the following month (during which James loudly reminded Peter that _his_ birthday was next month, too), and a wide range of fireworks and other tricks from Zonko's.

It was incredibly productive. They had set tasks and accomplished it. James was not thinking about how much more fun it would be if Sirius was there at all (although having Peter carry the selected books around the store had been humorous enough).

Now, don't get James wrong, he adored Peter. He would fight anyone that said anything bad about the boy. He _had_ fought people for saying something bad about the boy. It was true of everyone he cared about.

It just wasn't the same without Sirius hitting on all the shop owners or Remus mumbling sarcastic comments.

James tried not to think about it, finding himself settled on a bench outside Honeydukes with Peter, a large box of chocolate frogs between them.

"I'll trade you two Dumbledores for Circe," Peter said, holding said cards to James.

"What do I need two Dumbledores for? Get back to me when you've got a Scamander," James said, shaking his head before popping one of the frogs into his mouth and examining the card he had just gotten: Bowman Wright, inventor of the golden snitch.

James already had _three_ of him.

His attention was drawn from the card at the sound of a bark, and cries of people hastily moving to get out of the way of a large black dog that came barreling down the street. The dog seemed to notice them, barked again, and went straight for them, diving below the bench and hiding there.

“Pads?” James said, he and Peter both leaning over to glance under the bench at the dog in question. The gray eyes staring back at them were unmistakably their friend’s.

“Er, what’re you doing?” Peter said, though it wasn’t as though they could understand any answer that Padfoot gave in this form.

The dog simply let out a “boof,” and crouched lower, if possible.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date right now?” James continued.

Another “boof.” Padfoot’s eyes focused past them, toward the street he had just come rushing down. James straightened, following the dog’s gaze.

After a moment, a very confused Gerald appeared, looking around as though he had misplaced something. James glanced between Gerald and Padfoot for a brief moment before he nudged Peter and gestured for him to stop leaning over to look at the dog.

“Act natural,” James hissed, shuffling through chocolate frog cards again.

Peter nodded briefly, reaching for another frog and beginning to unwrap it. “Sure you don’t want the Dumbledores?”

“I told you, I don’t need two Dumbledores, I need a Scamander,” James said.

“Hey, Potter, Pettigrew,” Gerald said, approaching the pair.

“Oh, hey,” James said, pretending that he only just noticed the Ravenclaw.

“Shouldn’t you be with Sirius?” Peter asked.

Gerald sighed heavily. “Well, that’s my problem, he’s sort of vanished on me. I mean—shit, it’s not like I blame him, I guess.”

“Did it go that badly?” James said.

Gerald shifted his weight from foot to foot, staring more at the storefront behind them than at either Peter or James. “Well, we didn’t say much for about five minutes, and then we did that thing where you kind of try to start conversations that would immediately just go nowhere. Then, I don’t even know how it happened, I just started babbling about Gobstones to him.”

“Ah, Sirius is not a fan of Gobstones,” Peter nodded. It was true. He would humor Peter about it to an extent, but even at that he rarely hid his disinterest.

“I could _see_ him getting bored with me but I just kept going,” Gerald groaned. “And going… and going.”

“Sounds, er,” James said, searching for the words.

“Awkward, terrible,” Gerald provided. “Then someone’s teapot exploded at the table behind us and I turned to look, and then this dog started running through the restaurant? Then when I turned back, he was _gone._ I don’t know how he did it! He doesn’t know how to apparate, does he?”

“Not to my knowledge,” James said, he and Peter pulling off looking bewildered quite well.

They had quite a bit of practice covering up for their friends.

“Maybe he hid under the table?” Peter said.

“No, he wasn’t there,” Gerald sighed. “You two haven’t seen him?”

“Not since this morning,” Peter said, shaking his head.

“Tough break, mate, maybe you’re only meant for drunken spin-the-bottle,” James said, standing up and patting Gerald on the shoulder.

Gerald shrugged. “Yeah… yeah, you’re probably right. It’s just hard finding another boy that likes boys in this school, you know?”

“Well, you should have more in common than that, I imagine,” Peter said. James nodded.

“Yeah,” Gerald said, frowning. “Well, um. If you see him, tell him I’m sorry it didn’t work out… and that he didn’t have to pull a disappearing act, really.”

“We’ll pass the message along,” James said.

“Thanks. See you in class, I suppose.”   Gerald stuck his hands in his pockets and started off down the street again, still glancing around as though hoping he would catch sight of Sirius.

Once he was out of earshot and he was sure that no one nearby was paying much attention, James crouched down in front of the bench to set his attention back on Padfoot, still crouched there.

“Really?” James said.

“That was kinda cold, Padfoot,” Peter said before sliding a chocolate frog into his mouth.

Padfoot whined softly and looked at them imploringly.

“You could have just _said_ it wasn’t working out, since when do you have a problem telling people what they don’t want to hear?” James said, cocking a brow.

Padfoot whined again.

“Oh, will you change back already? He’s gone,” James sighed.

The dog shook his head, crawling out from beneath the bench.

“Too many people around,” Peter said, still chewing on the chocolate. “We’ll have to take him somewhere.”

Before James could even move to get his bag so they could find an alleyway or something for Padfoot to change back, someone nearby said, “Oh! Dorcas! It’s a dog!”

Padfoot wagged his tail as Emmeline Vance kneeled down in the snow before him, offering her hand for him to sniff. He slid his head beneath her hand and she gladly began scratching behind his ears.

“Is he yours?” Dorcas asked James and Peter, who quickly exchanged glances.

“We are… walking him… for Mopsy Fleabert,” Peter said, looking purposefully everywhere but at Emmeline.

“Yes, she has so many dogs, you know, and she’s so old, it’s hard for her to walk all of them,” James nodded.

“Oh, aren’t you a good boy? Yes, you are. Yes, you are,” Emmeline cooed as one of Padfoot’s hindlegs thumped against the snow in approval of the way she was scratching.

“He’s a very pretty dog,” Dorcas nodded, patting his head. Padfoot looked a little too content with the attention, finally rolling over in the snow so that Emmeline could rub his chest and belly.

“What’s his name?” Emmeline asked as she happily complied.

“S—Snuffles,” James said immediately. Padfoot barked and gave James a questioning look. James shrugged. Peter snorted softly.

“Aw, well you’re a sweet boy, aren’t you Snuffles?” Emmeline said.

“Unfortunately for you and for Snuffles, we have to go,” Dorcas said, glancing at her watch and tapping Emmeline’s shoulder. Emmeline pouted, setting her hands in her lap. Padfoot rolled over again and nudged her arm with his nose.

“I’m sorry, Snuffles, I have somewhere to be,” Emmeline said, scratching his ear one last time before pecking the top of his head and pulling herself back to her feet.

“See you around,” Dorcas said to James and Peter. Emmeline offered them a wave before following Dorcas down the street.

“That was a bit much, huh?” Peter said to Padfoot, who barked in response.

“That foot thing, he probably can’t help it,” James snickered. Padfoot defiantly headbutt him in the thigh. “Let’s find him a place to transform, then.”

“Yeah, okay,” Peter said, glancing down at the wrapping for his most recent chocolate frog. “Hey, James! Scamander!”

* * *

 

Lily was trying to _talk_ to Gabriel, a concept lost on every other couple that had gone to Madam Puddifoot's today. It was oddly quiet without others talking in the background, just the faint sound of smacking lips, giggling, and the occasional drink order.

Lily absentmindedly stirred her tea as she asked Gabe how Quidditch practice was going. He complained about the schedule the Ravenclaw captain had put together for a short while before they each got distracted watching a very enthusiastic couple nearby.

Bernard Clayton and Amy Foley were snogging with such commitment that Amy was no longer in her seat but on Bernard's lap. His hands were far beneath her shirt and Lily was beginning to wonder just how long Puddifoot would let them go before interfering. Their tea had long since gone cold, cups still full and long forgotten.

"Do... you want to go somewhere else, maybe?" Gabriel said at last.

"Yes," Lily said immediately. Gabriel threw a few coins on the table while Lily slid his scarf back around her neck and pulled on her coat. After squeezing awkwardly between couples that for the most part didn't seem to notice, they stepped outside into the cold, Gabriel immediately putting his arm around her shoulders.

"The Three Broomsticks?" Gabriel asked. “Should be less pornographic.”

"Sure," Lily said. She spied Dorcas and Emmeline walking their way, remembering suddenly that they had promised to check on her and give her an out if need be.

Once they had made eye contact, Dorcas gave Lily a questioning look and a thumbs up. After making sure Gabriel was not paying attention, Lily returned the thumbs up, indicating that she did not need rescuing. Emmeline and Dorcas nodded in acknowledgment before Emmeline pointed out a nearby shop to Dorcas and they stepped inside.

As soon as they were out of sight, Lily considered the date a bit more. No, truly, she did not need rescuing. She wasn't searching for reasons to leave, she wasn't bored by his presence, nor frightened, nor disgusted. The most uncomfortable thing about the date had been the other patrons at Puddifoot's.

However, the thought flitted through her mind that she would have liked to head into that shop after Dorcas and Emmeline, who were surely laughing at silly products and debating over the pros and cons of purchasing a needless but highly-on-sale item.

She shook the thought away. She was on a date! With a very nice boy!

They walked through the door of the Three Broomsticks, immediately feeling warmer. If it weren't for the number of people inside, the enchanted fireplaces would have easily done the trick on their own.

"Hey, Buckley!" came a voice from a table near the window. Gabriel and Lily each turned to see a sandy-haired girl sitting with Emma Vanity and waving them over. "Lily!"

"Well, if it isn't--You're _Wood_ now, aren't you?" Gabriel said as he and Lily squeezed their way over to the table.

"That I am," the sandy-haired girl said, holding out her left hand to show a dainty golden band. A bundle of blankets was resting in her right arm, inside which a baby was looking around wildly at the pub, sucking on a pacifier.

"Aw, he's really cute, Jolene," Lily said, walking over and waving to the baby.

"Thanks, our genes did an okay job," Jolene said proudly. She glanced Gabriel's way. "How's Quidditch, Buckley? I heard you scored exactly zero last game, glad to hear that some things don't change."

"Wonder who you heard that from," Gabriel said, shooting Emma a look. The Slytherin snickered. "The match lasted all of half an hour, hardly anyone scored."

"What was your excuse last year?" Emma said. Gabriel frowned.

The door to the pub opened again, an in-progress conversation flitting in with a cold gust of wind.

"Look, all I'm saying is don't knock it until you try it, Prongs. A good scratch behind the ears really—"

"I think I'll pass, really—"

"—I see the judgment in your face, Potter, I _see_ it—"

"—Because you were being embarrassing—"

"—Oh don't talk to _me_ about being embarrassing—"

"You're both embarrassing how about that?"

"—No one asked you, Worm—"

"Oi! Potter!" Jolene called, waving at the group. Lily cringed slightly, walking back to her previous spot beside Gabriel, wondering if they could slip away without causing much of a fuss. She wasn’t much looking forward to spending her Valentine’s Day with James Potter.

"Oi, Wood!" James called back mockingly as he approached, Sirius and Peter at his heel. For a moment Lily wondered where Remus was, and then realized that the day prior Madam Valdez had gone on poetically about the upcoming full moon yet again.

James grinned in her direction as he passed, as expected. “Evans.”

“Potter,” she said, forcing a cordial tone. Gabriel made a bit of a show of putting his arm around Lily’s shoulders again. James smirked before returning his gaze to Jolene.

"This Oliver, then, or did you steal another infant?" he said, leaning over to get a better look at the baby.

"Yes, this is Oliver. Do you want to hold him? I trust you, you don't drop Quaffles," Jolene said. Gabriel sighed heavily.

"It was a thirty minute match, I didn't drop anything!" Gabriel said.

"I don't remember you mentioning Buckley by name," Emma smiled. Jolene snickered, carefully handing the bundle over to James, who seemed delighted at being trusted to hold the child.

"All right, Oliver?" James said to the bundle. Oliver seemed quite content, still looking around at all the new people curiously.

Sirius was gazing down at the baby with mild discomfort. Peter looked slightly fearful.

"Well. That is certainly a baby," Sirius said.

"Ah, the witty commentary I've been waiting for," Jolene said. Sirius smirked.

“He’s so small,” Peter said, keeping his hands close to his person as though afraid that James might suddenly hand him over.

James wasn’t listening, though, instead cooing over the child, who had now grabbed on to his finger firmly and refused to let go. It was such an odd sight that Lily couldn’t help but stare. She couldn’t say that she had ever stopped and considered what James Potter would do when confronted with a baby, but this certainly was not what she would have expected.

“You’ve got a way with him, Potter,” Emma said, now standing beside him and gazing down at the baby. “But then, you’re just a good baby, aren’t you Oliver? Yes, you’re the best Godson in the world, aren’t you?”

“Godson? Jolene, you’ve made a _Slytherin_ your child’s guardian?” James said, appalled. “What happens if you and Nick die?”

“Then he’ll be raised by a fantastic Quidditch player,” Jolene said with a curt nod.

“Ah, yes, the only reason I was awarded the title,” Emma snorted. “My prowess in Quidditch.”

“Okay, okay, she’s also my best and most responsible friend or something,” Jolene said, waving Emma’s comment away. “But it’s mostly the Quidditch thing.”

“Well if we’re going by Quidditch skills, I suppose that makes _me_ the Godfather,” James said, smug as he could be with his index finger still firmly in an infant’s grasp. Lily snorted. He simply grinned in her direction again.

“Nick chose his brother,” Jolene sighed.

“Disgraceful all around,” James said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Either way, you’re a bit too comfortable there, Prongs, it’s weird.”

“I’m just practicing for when you’ve got one,” James shrugged.

Sirius’ eyes widened. “What? Me? Do you know something I don’t?”

“No, I’m just saying, of the four of us, which of us is gonna end up with one of these first? Probably you, and probably by accident,” James said matter-of-factly. “It’s just math.”

Peter snorted.

“Don’t jinx me, Mate,” Sirius frowned. “I don’t want one of these things—no offense, Jolene.”

“None taken,” Jolene smiled, prying her child out of James’ arms. “You lot have plenty of time.”

“Yeah, get through your O.W.L.s first,” Emma added.

“Can you believe,” Gabriel said, “That they haven’t got a homework trading system in place yet? At least not Lily’s friends.”

“How are you getting by? Do you not sleep?” Emma said, surprised.

“Is this really that common of a thing?” Lily sighed.

“Overwhelmed Wizards Lie, Lily,” Jolene nodded.

“Also Pete would have never passed third year if we didn’t let him look at our homework,” Sirius shrugged. Peter glared at him.

“Hey!” the shorter boy said.

“I’m not saying you’re an idiot, I’m saying you’re bad at essays,” Sirius reasoned.

James nodded. “Some people suck at essays. You are one of them.”

“We can’t all have poetry in our souls,” Sirius said, setting a hand to his heart dramatically. James snickered.

“Why do I feel like the only poetry in your soul is a dirty limerick?” Lily commented, cocking a brow. The others snickered at this.

Sirius opened his mouth to reply and then paused, considering this. “Fair enough, Evans, fair enough.”

* * *

 

Marlene and Benjamin had finished their food a good twenty minutes ago, their plates already cleared away and tea cups in front of them as Benjamin spoke about his roommates and how one of them was trying to get all of them to follow a strict revision schedule of his own creation to prepare for N.E.W.T.s.

Marlene stroked his fingertips gently as she nodded along, caring so little for what he was saying. She had hardly considered the notion of revising for _O.W.L.s_ , she certainly didn’t want to think about N.E.W.T.s.

In fact, throughout most of the date, she had greatly lamented the fact that they were actually, well, going through the motions of dating when they had already done so much in secluded areas of the castle. She was finding very quickly that all she wanted to do was snog him, and all he wanted to do was talk.

The girl checked her watch and glanced out the window. She made eye contact with the girls on the bench across the way. Emmeline and Dorcas were right on time.

But did she need rescuing? This date wasn’t exactly going horribly… she just wanted to move things back to the castle, somewhere private.

She had hinted a few times that they should go back, but Benjamin didn’t seem to be picking up on what she was trying to communicate with him and simply continued to talk about the goings-on _within_ the castle. Maybe a rescue would get them there sooner?

Oh, but Emmeline and Dorcas would probably be quite upset to find that their rescue was less of a rescue and more of an excuse for Marlene to move things further along with her date.

Marlene subtly tugged at her ear, indicating to the girls that she was fine, she did not need to be rescued. Another glance out the window showed that Dorcas and Emmeline had given her the thumbs up before getting up and walking away.

The blonde was on her own.

“—And he wants us to revise for herbology for fifteen hours a week? It’s _herbology,_ that much revision isn’t necessary, don’t you think?” Benjamin was saying.

“I dunno,” Marlene shrugged. “You know what I _do_ think, though?”

“What?” Benjamin asked, taking a sip of his tea. Marlene propped her elbows on the table and leaned across to whisper in his ear, figuring that if he was not going to understand any subtle hints, she was going to have to be more straight-forward.

“I think we should go back to the castle, do less talking, and wear less clothing,” she said softly.

Marlene wasn’t sure that she had ever seen someone ask for the check so quickly.

* * *

 

After Gabriel and Lily had excused themselves from the group fawning over Jolene’s baby, which was shortly after Professor McGonagall walked over and was passed the child to hold, Lily thought that things would go a bit better. She thought they’d sit down, order some butterbeer, and have a pleasant conversation.

However, Gabriel spent the majority of their time at the Three Broomsticks insisting that his scoring average was perfectly serviceable, _good_ even, and that he was one of the better Chasers on the team. Lily nodded along and agreed, though she found it hard to be as passionate about the cause as he was… after all, Jolene and Emma had just been teasing.

He seemed to have gotten it out of his system by the time they were on their way back to the castle, her hand in his.

“Well, I hope you had a good time,” he said as they went.

“Oh, it was lovely,” Lily nodded.

“Good, good,” he said, glancing at his watch. “Look, do you want to come back to our dormitory a bit? Everyone should have cleared out to use the library if they’re not down here.”

“Your dormitory?” Lily asked, cocking a brow. She had never been seriously invited to a boy’s dormitory before.

“Just to hang out,” Gabriel said.

That sounded innocent enough. It would be a far more casual setting, and they wouldn’t be surrounded by other couples at least.

“Sure, all right.”

* * *

 

“Well, at least we didn’t have to rescue anyone today,” Dorcas said as she and Emmeline sat at the Hufflepuff table. The great hall was mostly abandoned, as a meal was not currently going on. A few students were tucked away in far corners of their respective tables in an attempt to get some work done away from their peers.

Dorcas and Emmeline had decided to busy themselves with a game of chess and were currently ushering the pieces to their proper places in order to begin.

“True. I wonder how their dates are going now,” Emmeline said with a heavy sigh as she nudged her pawn slightly with her finger to get it out of the rook’s square.

“Don’t beat yourself up over not having a date, Em,” Dorcas said. “Boys are such… well they’re exhausting, in my opinion.”

“At least _you’ve_ been kissed. I just don’t understand why it’s so _easy_ for people like Marlene and Lily and so difficult for me,” Emmeline said.

“It wasn’t a great kiss,” Dorcas said with a slight frown. “It’ll happen for you, you just have to stop worrying about it so much. Pawn to E-4.”

The white pawn took two steps forward and braced itself, as though daring any of Emmeline’s black pieces to dare approach it.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” Emmeline said. “Pawn to E-5.”

“In the meantime, I’ll be your Valentine. Look, I brought more chocolate,” Dorcas said, setting her Honeydukes bag down on the table.

Emmeline smiled. “Well, happy Valentine’s Day, then, Dorcas.”

“You too, Em.”

* * *

 

Marlene didn’t bother to examine the seventh year boy’s dormitory beyond confirming that none of Benjamin’s roommates were currently present. She was already pulling off her gloves when he turned to close and lock the door, humming to herself as though she was only vaguely interested in any of what was going on.

“Which bed is yours, then?” she asked. She let out a small squeak in surprise as he lifted her off her feet and set her down on the nearby bed.

“This one,” Benjamin grinned.

“Hmm,” she considered, leaning back against the comforter as she kicked off her winter boots. “I suppose it’ll do.”

It occurred to her that she hadn’t actually had sex in a bed before, having used a bench in the locker room with Sirius. This was more comfortable, if nothing else, and from her understanding, well, Benjamin knew a little more about what he was doing.

Despite her ruined friendship with Sirius, their encounter had achieved what she had hoped for. She wasn’t as nervous as she thought she would be as soon as she had entered the boy’s dorm. She was certain that she could do this, absolutely certain.

The anxiety stirring in her stomach was more of excitement than nerves. She was so bored of beating around the bush with Benjamin. Now they finally had a private place to take the plunge they had been so close to.

“You suppose, hm? Do you want me to light a candle or something?” Benjamin asked, cocking a brow as he tossed his coat aside.

“Oh, one whole candle, you are a master of setting the mood,” Marlene snorted, pulling him over by the collar.

“I might be able to find a second one,” Benjamin said.

“Forget the candles,” Marlene said, pressing her mouth to his.

* * *

 

Gabriel had answered the riddle with little effort and they had marched up to the boy’s dormitory, passing what Lily recognized as two of the musicians from the Quidditch party, cuddled up and taking a nap on one of the common room couches.

The boy’s dormitory was not unlike the girl’s, which Lily had only entered a handful of times before. There were the same star-speckled blue curtains and blue bedspreads, though significantly less David Bowie on the wall than in Emmeline’s room.

None of Gabriel’s roommates were around, and for a moment, they simply talked about books, Gabriel handing his copy of _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ to her, which she set in her bag and promised to try and read later on, if she managed to find a spare moment to do so.

Book discussions quickly dissolved into snogging, and Lily found herself lying back on his bed with him on top of her. The kissing part was lovely. She liked the way he touched her hair and her cheek, she was getting more and more used to French kissing.

Then his hand began moving down, and Lily tried not to so obviously freeze as she wondered where exactly it would end up. She wasn’t wearing a skirt today, opting for a pair of high-waisted jeans. There was at least a layer of denim between his hand and her arse when he slid his hand there.

_It’s not a big deal!_ she thought to herself, trying to focus more on what his lips were doing. It was _fine._ He was her boyfriend, he could touch her there, it was _fine._

She was sixteen, for Merlin’s sake! She wasn’t a child.

And at least he wasn’t reaching under a skirt this time.

Yes, this was fine. Just fine.

His mouth trailed from her lips and down her neck. She hummed slightly, finding it slightly ticklish but nice. She could get used to this, absolutely she could.

Lily ran her fingers through his hair as he worked on her neck. This was nice.

That is, until his hand moved again, this time beneath her sweater. His hand was cold against her skin and she froze slightly again.

It was just her waist. It was fine, really, it was fine.

There was no reason for her to freak out.

She pulled him away from her neck so that she could kiss his lips again, hoping that it would distract her further to focus on what her mouth was doing with his. It worked for a time, chancing a small nip at his bottom lip.

This was fine.

Then his hand moved again and her lips slowed. He reached for the buttons on her jeans and she froze, wondering if he really was doing what she thought he was doing.

He unfastened the button and she sat upright, knocking their heads slightly in her haste and wiggling her hips away. It seemed to take her less than two seconds to scoot several feet away from the boy, who was rubbing his forehead in confusion.

“Sorry, I—er—well—!” Lily stuttered. Her cheeks had already been pink from the snogging, but she could feel herself turning a similar color to her dark red locks now.

“Are you okay?” Gabriel said, cocking a brow. “What’s the deal?”

“Nothing—! I mean—well—it’s just—” Lily said, unsure what exactly to say.

She was saved from having to say a word, however, by the door to the dormitory swinging open and a mousy-haired boy with glasses taking half a step inside before pausing at the sight of an out-of-breath and flushed Lily and Gabriel. 

“You could knock, Augustus,” Gabriel scowled.

Augustus seemed taken aback for a moment before saying, “Sorry, I was under the impression that this was also _my_ room.”

“It’s fine, I should be going, I have an essay and I’m tutoring tomorrow so I really don’t have time to do it then. I should have left half an hour ago really, if I intend to get this done, it’s transfiguration and that’s not really my strong suit, you know,” Lily babbled suddenly, jumping to her feet and pulling her sweater down to cover her undone button. She scooped up her bag and her coat, Gabriel’s scarf still in the pocket.

“Lily—” Gabriel started.

“See you around!” Lily said hastily, pecking his cheek before darting past Augustus and out of the room, heart racing the entire way.


	37. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I tattooed my ears today, hope you had an okay Friday.

_Both team captains seemed determined to knock the other one out at that point, Bludgers nearly knocking other players off their brooms by sheer coincidence as the two girls took aim at each other._

* * *

Moony crept along the ground where patches of grass were beginning to poke through the snow, crouched down low. His eyes were fixed ahead at a bird that had landed in the snow, pecking at some of the exposed grass curiously.

"You're never gonna get it," Padfoot bayed, watching from the lake's edge and scratching at his ears absentmindedly.

"Not if you're not quiet," Moony snarled. Prongs and Padfoot exchanged glances, Wormtail settled on top of Prongs' head.

Moony pounced forward, the bird flying away immediately, leaving the werewolf to land on nothing but ground. The others let out calls of amusement as Moony growled in frustration.

"It's okay, Moony," Wormtail squeaked as Moony made his way back toward the group, the bird now far out of reach. "You don't need to be a good hunter."

"I am a  _great_  hunter, okay, that bird was terrible prey is the problem," Moony insisted, plopping down in the snow beside them.

"Ah, well, maybe we'll find you a crippled turtle or something next time," Prongs bleated. Moony glared at him, pawing in the snow in what was probably meant to be a ferocious way. Padfoot approached the lake, still frozen over and lightly stepped atop it, seeming amused as he immediately began to slide.

The great black dog stepped off of the lake and walked past his friends, who watched him curiously. Padfoot took a running start and then with a great leap, landed on the ice and immediately slid across, letting out a howl as he went.

"Careful, Pads!" Prongs bleated as the dog skid to a halt.

"It's fine!" Padfoot barked, carefully beginning to walk back across the ice, only to slip.

Moony's tail wagged at the sight and soon enough, he too was sliding across the ice, howling in joy as the wind whipped through his fur.

Prongs sighed heavily.

"Well?" Wormtail squeaked, glancing down at Prongs from his perch atop his head.

"Hold on," Prongs bayed, turning around to move away from the lake a good enough distance to start running.

Hooves proved to be far harder to keep balanced on the ice than paws, all of Prongs' feet slipping every which way as he went, before he finally fell directly onto his belly, Wormtail almost flinging off.

He slid along his belly until he reached the highly amused canines.

"A vision of grace!" Moony howled.

"The majestic stag!" Padfoot added.

"Oh, shut up," Prongs bleated, slipping again as he tried to get upright. After several failed attempts, he sighed heavily and stayed on his stomach, seeming to accept his fate.

"Let's go again!" Moony said, clawing at the ice and attempting to run across it. He stumbled after a few steps and skidded across the ice on his belly and Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail's ears each dropped as cracks began to appear across the surface of the ice near Moony.

"Fuuuuuuuck," Padfoot whined.

"Moony, stay on your stomach!" Prongs bleated.

"Why?" Moony barked, tail wagging and blissfully unaware of the cracking ice.

"Look, just, slide on your belly back to the edge of the lake, okay?  _Don't stand up,"_  Prongs urged, struggling to slide on his own stomach. Padfoot, sliding in an attempt to stay upright, leaned heavily against Prongs in order to push him.

Everyone froze when another large  _crack_  was heard, Moony noticing this time as lines in the ice spiderwebbed beneath his feet.

"Easy, Moon," Wormtail squeaked.

The werewolf tried to inch forward and with a yelp, his hindlegs plunged through the ice into the water.

Panicked, Prongs and Padfoot scrambled forward, Moony scratching at the ice frantically. Everything was a blur of cold water and fur as they all slid around. Padfoot bit at the scruff of Moony's neck, and Moony gripped his teeth around one of Prongs' antlers as the stag and the black dog pulled back.

They seemed to break more ice the more they shuffled around, Padfoot's paws and Prongs' hooves each plunging into the water at one point or another, until at last, they managed to drag the werewolf onto solid ice before sulking back over to the edge of the lake and collapsing there.

"Well, I'm over the lake, I don't know about you guys," Padfoot whined, shaking cold water from his fur.

"Let's find somewhere warm," Prongs agreed.

* * *

Lily was lying in Marlene's bed, staring at a poster of a shirtless, muscular, professional Quidditch Player, whose name Lily could not currently remember, taped nearby. Inez had fallen asleep in the common room earlier, and Gwen was in the middle of an intense game of exploding snap with Wanda and Mary at one of the study tables. Lily and Marlene had the dorm to themselves.

"So you didn't talk to him at all today?" Marlene said, sitting cross-legged next to Lily. Marlene's hair was pulled back and she had smeared a potion on her face, the same one that Lily, Alice, Emmeline, and James had used to clear out their pores at the girl's night that seemed like so long ago.

"No," Lily said, eyes still fixed on the grinning Quidditch player, his teeth exceptionally white.

"Well, you're gonna have to at  _some_  point, Lils," Marlene reasoned, glancing at her alarm clock before gently poking at the potion on her face, which was still sticky to the touch.

"I know, I know, I just, I don't know what to  _say_  to him. 'Sorry I ran out on you, Gabe, but the idea of you taking off my pants terrified me.' That doesn't sound good at all," Lily groaned, grabbing one of Marlene's pillows and setting it over her face in shame.

Marlene pat Lily's arm. "Well you don't have to make it out like he repulses you—he doesn't repulse you, right?"

"No, no, he's really cute, I like him, I just… I don't know if I 'let him take my pants off' like him? Does that make sense?" Lily said, peeking out slightly from beneath the pillow.

"Sure," Marlene nodded.

"Are you just humoring me?" Lily asked. It was hard to ignore that while Lily had fled from her boyfriend for unbuttoning her jeans, Marlene had been tangled up with her own boyfriend in his bed.

"Why would I do that?" Marlene asked.

Lily sighed. "I get nervous every time I go a little past kissing. You… don't."

"Well, that's me," Marlene shrugged.

"I just feel so  _immature_ ," Lily frowned.

Marlene shook her head. "You're not immature, Lils, you're… a romantic."

"A romantic?" Lily said, cocking a brow.

"Well, yeah, I mean… remember when we were talking about the contraceptive spell and you said you wanted to lose your virginity to someone you love?" Marlene said.

Lily pulled herself up to a seated position at last, hugging the pillow in front of her. "Yeah, yeah, I know, it's silly, it's not how things  _really_  work, it's—"

"It's  _romantic,"_  Marlene said. "I mean, you want that connection. Would you say you have it with Gabe?"

"I don't know what it  _feels_  like," Lily said. "How should I know if I have it with Gabe or not?"

"Well, if you were  _in love_  with him or whatever, surely you'd be able to tell him that you're uncomfortable," Marlene said, lightly tapping on her potion again, frowning when she realized it still hadn't hardened.

Lily toyed with a loose thread on the pillow case. "I don't think I'm in  _love_  with him."

"Well, can you tell him that you're uncomfortable and to knock it off?" Marlene said. "I mean it's not like you've never told anyone off before, Lily. James Potter comes to mind."

"Gabe's different. With Potter, well, I'm not going to ruin anything by telling him off. I'm afraid if I tell Gabriel that I want to just stick to snogging, then he'll get annoyed with me. I feel like he might already be," Lily said, her voice small.

"Then he can go fuck himself," Marlene said matter-of-factly. "If he likes you that much, he'll slow the hell down."

"And if he doesn't?" Lily said, holding the pillow tighter.

Marlene sighed. "Come on, what would you say if it was me?"

Lily didn't want to say it. She liked Gabe. She liked the way he smiled and the warmth in his brown eyes. She liked holding his hand, the way her fingers fit between his. She liked talking to him about books. She liked kissing him. She liked when he laughed. She liked when he touched her hair and kissed her neck.

But she knew the answer. She knew that the way her heart had raced last time they were together hadn't been in excitement at all.

"That you're better off without him."

* * *

It was Tuesday, and Remus had missed yet another day of classes. He prayed he would be able to go back the next day, as reading up on everything himself and trying to decipher James' handwriting and Sirius' shorthand in their notes was exhausting in its own right.

He had just read through a page in his Arithmancy text book for the fourth time without retaining any of it when a shadow fell over the privacy curtain around his bed.

"Remus?"

He froze. That wasn't James. That wasn't Sirius. It wasn't Peter, either. It was a girl, and if he wasn't mistaken, it was—

Oh, no.

Remus hastily smoothed his hair and straightened his posture. Did anyone ever look attractive in the hospital? James could sort of pull it off if he'd bloodied himself up on the Quidditch Pitch, but that was a cooler reason to be hospitalized in general. There was nothing cool about the ink smudges on his hands and bedhead.

"Are you awake?"

 _What was she even doing here?_  Had the other Marauders sent her? Whose idea was this? It felt like a plan Sirius might have dreamed up, and Remus swore he would get the other boy back if it was the case.

Once he was sure he had made himself as presentable as he possibly could, he cleared his throat. "Y-yeah?"

He reached for the curtain and pulled it back a few inches. On the other side, Emmeline leaned over to see past the small opening, lips painted red and guitar case leaning against the wall. Remus' heart jumped into his throat, and he pushed the curtain open a bit more.

"Hey, I heard you were sick again," she said gently.

"Er, yeah," Remus said, nodding.

"I brought you some comics, I just finished them," Emmeline said, handing him the stack in her hands. Remus was very aware of how much his hand was trembling when he took them from her. She had caught him completely off-guard.

"Thank you," he said.

"Of course. Do they know what's wrong? You seem to get sick a lot," Emmeline said, clear concern on her face.

"Ah, just… just a chronic thing, I've had it since I was little," Remus shrugged. "The details are… boring. You're, er, not here to give me a private show or something, are you?"

He gestured to her guitar case.

"Oh! No, I'm actually on my way to choir solo auditions and I figure the guitar will give me an extra edge," Emmeline said.

"Aren't those auditions on the third floor?" Remus asked. It couldn't be on her way to go from the Ravenclaw Tower all the way down to the hospital wing on the first floor and then turn around and go back up to the third floor.

"Well, I might have been trying to walk off some nerves, too," Emmeline admitted. "Do you ever get so nervous and standing still just makes it worse?"

"I'm not sure," Remus said. "I'm sure you'll do great, though, really, you're very talented."

Emmeline's cheeks turned a bit pink. "Well, thank you. I, um, I hope you feel better."

"I should be fine soon," Remus said, forcing a smile. "Thanks again for the comics."

"You're welcome. I'll, uh, I'll leave you to rest. See you," she said, offering him a small wave before reaching for the handle of her guitar case.

"Bye," he said, unable to help the smile that came as he watched her leave.

* * *

Emmeline hadn't left the hospital wing long when she slipped into the girl's restroom. Propping the guitar case against the counter, she leaned over to check beneath the stalls for any indication that anyone else was around.

Locking the door to enter the restroom, she pulled out the flask from her inner pocket. Her stomach had been turning with anxiety with anxiety all day, and the closer she got to the time of her audition, the worse it got.

She was going to mess up, she was going to hit a wrong note, she was going to lose her battle with her nerves and either pass out or run away to find somewhere to vomit. What if she forgot the words, what if she made a complete and utter fool of herself?

Would anyone remember any of her successful performances if she messed this one up?

And Pam Barnes, that petty girl. She would love to see Emmeline fail. The one solo Emmeline had gotten during the Christmas performances would be a fluke and Pam would happily take retake her place as reigning Queen of the Hogwarts Choir.

How on earth was Emmeline supposed to sing with all of that rushing through her mind?

Delivering the comics to Remus had postponed the inevitable, had at least briefly distracted her from the nerves. But then he had gone and said that she would do great. She was so talented, after all.

Singing used to be something she did for fun, choir was a fun way to get to sing a little more often. But now people had expectations.

Her friends were so proud of her for managing to do it before. They really thought she was making progress.

She sighed heavily. Was this progress?

"I'll worry about that later," she mumbled to herself, unscrewing the lid of the flask.

* * *

Lily sat on a windowsill with Dorcas and Marlene standing nearby. Inside the classroom across the hall, the auditions for the spring choir solo were in progress. Pam Barnes was currently inside, and her overall pleasant voice could faintly be heard from the other side of the door.

"You  _still_  haven't talked to him?" Marlene sighed.

"He's been busy with Quidditch! And I've got homework!" Lily said, staring at her shoes.

Dorcas frowned. "Lily, avoiding him isn't going to make it better, you know."

"I'm not avoiding him," the redhead said, unconvincing. She didn't even believe herself.

Marlene and Dorcas cast each other skeptical glances. Dorcas opened her mouth to say something else, and Lily scrambled to interrupt, hoping to change the subject.

"Shouldn't Emmeline have gotten here by now? She's after Pam, isn't she?" Lily said.

Dorcas checked her watch. "You're right, she's got about two minutes. Should we go look for her? She's not usually late."

"It's a big castle, who knows where she could be hiding, if she's hiding," Marlene said. "We would need more than two minutes."

"More than two minutes for what?" came a cheerful voice. The three girls jumped in surprise, Emmeline having sneaked up on them, a wide smile pulling at her red lips.

"There you are!" Lily said. She gestured to the guitar case in the other girl's hands. "You decided to go with the guitar! Oh, I think Flitwick will love it, Em, really."

"Oh yeah, he's a sucker for over-achievers," Dorcas nodded. It was true, any time someone did extra work or came up with an extra, creative solution to a problem, the professor was nothing short of delighted. Dorcas lightly pat Emmeline's shoulder. "You nervous?"

"A bit," Emmeline said, though she didn't seem it, not at all, which left the others exchanging glances briefly. "But not enough to pass up the opportunity to make Pam Barnes cry."

"I didn't realize that was the goal," Dorcas said hesitantly.

Marlene shrugged. "She brought it upon herself."

"Well, don't do it just for the sake of revenge, that's a bit messy," Dorcas said. "Do it because you love singing, Em."

"Making Pam cry can just be a small bonus," Lily nodded. Dorcas sighed heavily.

"Right, right," Emmeline nodded, giggling slightly. The singing on the other side of the door had ceased, and the fact that Pam had not yet emerged told them that she was likely now talking to Professor Flitwick.

"This time is going to be so much easier," Lily said, encouragingly. "We didn't even bring a bucket this time because we  _know_  you're gonna do great, Em. You've already gotten through so many performances."

"You know, I think you're right," Emmeline said. "I think it is going to be much easier this time. For a number of reasons."

"And if for some reason you  _do_ puke again, Lily's been reading up on those first aid spells again and knows how to clean you right up," Marlene shrugged.

"But that's not gonna happen," Dorcas added immediately.

Marlene nodded. "Right, I'm just saying, in case she was worried about that."

"I'm not worried," Emmeline smiled.

"Really?" Lily blurted out before she could stop herself.

Emmeline not being worried was… odd.

Before the girl could offer any explanation, however, the door opened and Pam stepped into the corridor, letting the door close behind her.

"Oh, look who decided to try out again," Pam said, her tone condescending. "And you brought a toy! How precious."

All four girls opened their mouths to speak, stepping forward, when the door swung open again, revealing cheerful little Professor Flitwick. "Ah! There you are, Miss Vance, you're next! And you've brought your guitar! I'm looking forward to hearing you play it, I've heard good things."

"Thank you, sir," Emmeline said. She turned to Pam and continued in a sugary sweet tone. "Learning to play an instrument takes so much personal discipline, you know. Not all of us  _have_  that."

"Too true!" Flitwick agreed, oblivious to the passive-aggressive display between his two students.

"Yes, some of us would rather act like a child and throw a tantrum, tragic," Emmeline added to Pam in hushed tones as she walked by, shooting a winning smile to Flitwick who was still holding the door open for her as she stepped inside.

With a sour look on her face, Pam called out before the door had closed, "Good luck, Emmeline!  _Don't choke!"_

"What's your problem, really?" Marlene said to the older girl.

"No problem," Pam said innocently. "Who said there was a problem?"

"We know you broke her record player, you don't have to put on that act," Dorcas said simply. Pam's expression darkened.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Pam said, beginning to walk away. "All I know is that some of us want this more than others."

* * *

It was a brisk day, but thankfully not as windy as the last match had been, with only a slight breeze that was sure not to affect anyone's ability to score a goal this time around. There were already heavy chants of  _"Van-i-ty! Van-i-ty!"_ coming from the Slytherin supporting stands, with no sign of the teams on the field yet.

Lily had barely had a chance to speak with Gabriel that morning before he was dragged off by his team captain to discuss strategy. She had been able to sneak him a kiss, for luck, before bidding him farewell and returning to her breakfast. She had felt the skeptical gazes of her friends upon her, knowing full well that,  _fine, okay,_  she hadn't talked to him about the incident on Valentine's Day yet.

There would be plenty of time later, surely.

She was bundled in his Ravenclaw scarf, sitting with her friends in the stands, Marlene and Dorcas chattering about the keeping abilities of both teams while Emmeline fiddled with her camera. Lily was staring at the center of the field, wondering when the teams would arrive.

"Morning!" came an all-too-cheerful voice behind them as James Potter appeared with Peter and Remus in tow. They settled into the seats directly behind them.

"I notice you're all for Ravenclaw  _today,"_  Emmeline said with a smirk. Peter had painted his entire face blue, while James had settled for simple blue and bronze stripes across his cheeks. Remus did not partake in face painting, but did have a small Ravenclaw flag in his hand.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," James shrugged.

"I don't think it's legal for Gryffindor to root for Slytherin," Marlene said matter-of-factly.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "You lot and your rivalry. Either way, I think it'll be a good game."

"Think your boyfriend will actually score this game, Evans?" James taunted. Lily turned to glare at him.

"Think you'll dislocate anything this game, Potter? I know you're not on the pitch but it can be arranged," Lily said.

James dramatically put a hand to his heart. "Evans! Threats of physical violence! You're a  _prefect!_  Moony, do something."

"I didn't hear anything," Remus grinned. "Em, I saw that you got the solo again, congrats."

"I did! Thank you," Emmeline said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Hogwarts! Welcome to the third match of the season, with Ravenclaw, fresh from their victory over Hufflepuff, versus Slytherin, the defending house cup champions," came Sirius' voice from the commentating stand, prompting everyone to focus on the field again, the teams walking out.

Lily set a pair of omnioculars to her face that she had borrowed from Marlene, zooming in to better see Gabriel, looking quite handsome in his blue robes as Emma Vanity stepped forward to shake hands with Araminta Wade, the Ravenclaw captain.

"Yes, this is sure to be a fascinating match, with one team having made no scores their previous game and the other losing by a hundred and sixty points! No worries, everyone, Gryffindor will provide some real entertainment next game. In the meantime, hopefully with the weather the way it is, Ravenclaw's chasers can actually accomplish something, and it  _is_  always fun to see Slytherin try, isn't it?"

Regulus and Emma each responded with a two-finger salute in the direction of the commentator's box as the players all took to the air. A few of the Ravenclaws had taken to lewd hand gestures as well.

The sound of Madam Hooch's whistle pierced the air as the Quaffle was released.

"Rosier takes possession of the Quaffle, dodges a bludger from Wade and passes to Talkalot, Talkalot approaches the rings, shoots—ten points to Slytherin."

The Ravenclaw supporting crowd groaned, though it was barely audible over the cheers from the Slytherin side.

"Stebbins has the Quaffle, passes to Fu— _Buckley_ , sorry, don't look at me like that, Professor, Buckley narrowly avoids running head-on into Murphy, passes to Jones, Jones passes to Stebbins, Stebbins dodges a Bludger from Vanity and drops the Quaffle. Buckley and Murphy both go for the Quaffle—oh that's got to hurt, head-on collision between Buckley and Murphy."

The entire crowd seemed to cringe at once as Gabriel and Murphy attempted to stay on their brooms while fumbling for the Quaffle.

"Buckley has the Quaffle and heads for the Slytherin rings. Buckley takes a shot and—ten points to Ravenclaw."

Lily got to her feet and cheered with the rest of the Ravenclaw supporting crowd, sparing a few seconds to smirk over her shoulder at an unamused James Potter, who seemed to be clapping rather reluctantly in comparison to his two friends that gladly cheered along.

That is, until Peter spied James' face and immediately toned down his own reaction.

"Will you be performing tonight, then?" Remus asked Emmeline as the crowd returned to their seats and the game continued.

"Probably, if Ravenclaw wins. I still owe Sirius a song," Emmeline nodded. "If Slytherin wins, however, my whole house is gonna sulk the rest of the night away."

"Yeah, it's a little taboo to show up to the victory party when your house lost. Unless you're in Hufflepuff," Remus said, glancing Dorcas' way.

"You know, it's not our fault that the rest of you have egos that are so fragile you can't enjoy a good party celebrating your defeat," Dorcas shrugged. "I had a grand time at the Ravenclaw victory party last time. Save me a dance again, Potter?"

"Oh, certainly. If Ravenclaw wins. Gryffindors don't go to the Slytherin parties and vice-versa," James nodded.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Oh for Merlin's sake, you lot aren't even playing this game."

"—And Talkalot scores again for Slytherin. Slytherin: 20, Ravenclaw: 10."

The game proceeded, actually managing to be far more entertaining than Sirius had previously given the two teams credit for. Gabriel not only made Ravenclaw's first score of the game, but managed at least five more while dodging bludgers and other players. Lucinda Talkalot had scored the most, however, having scored ten different times for Slytherin.

Ravenclaw had been awarded a penalty when Del Real had hit the Quaffle-less Billy Stebbins with his beater's bat, earning Del Real a rather loud lecture from Emma.

"— _utter imbecile, have you forgotten how to play the game? You're already allowed to hit them with the goddamn Bludger, I am not giving up any more penalties because you have no faith in our ability to win by the book—"_

Back and forth, Bludgers and Quaffles and bodies flew to and fro. Jones was taken out of the game due to a broken rib caused by a Bludger sent by Emma. Rosier was hit in the face and knocked out by a Bludger sent by Wade, leaving both teams down to two chasers a piece.

Both team captains seemed determined to knock the other one out at that point, Bludgers nearly knocking other players off their brooms by sheer coincidence as the two girls took aim at each other.

"Vanity's sent on a tailspin by a Bludger from Hines, maybe she should pay more attention to players that  _aren't_  Wade. Meanwhile Stebbins takes a shot and—blocked by Barton. The score remains 220 for Slytherin and 190 for Ravenclaw. It's anyone's game, with no sign of the golden snitch."

"Who do you suppose is the better seeker, Black or Bradshaw?" Dorcas wondered aloud.

"Well, Bradshaw has actually caught the snitch in a game before," Marlene said.

"Yeah, but it's only Regulus' second game," Remus said, the younger Black scanning the field diligently and Bradshaw doing the same close by. "I think Regulus might want it more, Slytherin really built him up to be a big deal when Mary beat him."

"He's got the better broom," Peter added.

" _How_  is it not against the rules for one team to have better brooms than the other?" Emmeline said with a heavy sigh.

"It's not usually a problem in league Quidditch because most teams invest in whatever the latest model is," Marlene said. "But I mean this is school, so, we don't have that kind of budget."

"Honestly, Bradshaw's broom isn't  _that_  bad. Regulus has got the newest Starsweeper, which is faster, yeah, but Bradshaw's Nimbus 1983 is really a pretty solid broom that is a little easier to control at high speeds, so if she can get a decent head start, she'd have a good shot at it," James said matter-of-factly. "Really, I have a problem with the Starsweeper's new handle design, I think they were going for style over function."

"Would the handle design really make that much of a difference?" Emmeline asked.

Remus swiped his hand across his throat as though to signal to Emmeline to stop. "Don't get him started."

"More than you would think, honestly!" James was already saying.

As James started going into detail about how the shape of the broom handle could and would affect one's technique, Lily raised the omnioculars to her eyes again, watching Gabriel catch the Quaffle as Billy Stebbins passed it to him and approach the hoops. His dark hair was sticking to his sweaty forehead as he went, looking determined. A triumphant grin came to his face as he scored, leaving the Ravenclaw crowd to cheer again.

"Ravenclaw is now at 200 to Slytherin's 220 in what has so far been the longest match of the season. Is anyone else getting hungry? McG, are you going to eat all of that?"

"We're gonna get knocked down to third place no matter who wins at this point," Marlene sighed.

"Yeah but we've only played one game," James pointed out. "We'll re-gain our lead at the next match."

"Maybe," Dorcas grinned.

"You're going down, Meadowes," James smirked.

"Bradshaw's on the move!" Sirius declared, drawing everyone's attention to the Ravenclaw seeker, who was diving for the ground with Regulus at her tail. She was a good ten feet ahead of him, but he was gaining fast.

"Bradshaw pulls out of the dive, is it an attempt at the Wronski Feint? Black recovers quickly and is heading for the Slytherin goals. Bradshaw scrambles to follow, but is it too late?"

The crowd was on their feet, watching as Regulus and Marla Bradshaw sped toward the Slytherin goals and turned suddenly as a small glint of gold darted away.

"Come on, Marla, come on," Emmeline mumbled.

But it was Regulus whose fist was soon in the air, the Snitch securely in his grasp.

"And Black catches the Golden Snitch, earning 150 points for Slytherin, bringing the final score to 370 to 200. Slytherin wins."

Sirius could not hide the bitterness in his voice as he announced this.

The Slytherin supporting crowd roared in delight as Emma Vanity practically tackled Regulus with a hug in mid-air. Lily and her friends each groaned and slumped back into their seats, the Marauders behind them doing the same.

"The current Quidditch Cup standings are as follows: Slytherin in the lead with 430 points, followed by Ravenclaw with 350. Gryffindor is in third place with 250 points, and Hufflepuff is in fourth with 50. The next match will be Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff."

"See, we don't even need to get 200 points next match to overtake Slytherin," James said.

"Yeah but they still have to play Hufflepuff, too," Marlene said.

"Well we should go for  _more_  than two hundered, obviously," James said. "Don't forget, we have our match against Ravenclaw, too, we've still got a shot."

"You all keep assuming we're going to lose all these games," Dorcas huffed. "We'll see how smug you are next game, Potter."

"We'll see how well you block goals from competent chasers, Meadows," James grinned.

"I'll catch up with you guys later, okay?" Lily said as she squeezed passed Emmeline and a few disgruntled Ravenclaws to get to the aisle. She figured she should head down to the pitch to meet up with Gabriel, tell him that he played a very good game despite having lost.

"They're probably heading for the hospital wing!" Marlene called after her and Lily gave her the thumbs up in acknowledgement. That was right, both teams had chasers leave the game, surely the Ravenclaws would be off to check on Jones while the Slytherins went to inform a probably still-unconscious Rosier of their victory.

Most students were still in their seats, chattering about the game as she passed, one of the first to start heading down the stairs to leave.

She couldn't help but be at least somewhat relieved that there would be no Ravenclaw victory party to attend that night. Perhaps she might actually be able to sit and have a real conversation with Gabriel now that this match was through.


	38. Standards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey guys! I took last week off because the chapter wasn't ready yet. I usually try to have a couple chapters worth of a buffer so I can avoid that, but it just wasn't happening last week. But! Here we are! Slightly earlier than Friday! Hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think.

" _Are you determined to send me to an early grave with your antics?"_

" _I mean, if it works."_

* * *

Lily had lingered at Gabriel's side as the Ravenclaw team recounted how the match had ended to their injured chaser. The Slytherins had come by to check on Rosier, only to be shooed away from Madam Promfrey, who estimated that Rosier would not regain consciousness until probably the next day.

Gabriel had slipped away from his teammates as they moved on to small talk, taking Lily by the hand and heading out of the Hospital wing, his broom over one shoulder. She vaguely wondered what the pros and cons of the design of  _his_  model of broomstick were before shaking the thoughts away.

Really, who cared? A broom was a broom. James Potter had simply read too much into it instead of learning anything useful. The fact that she remembered any of his ranting about broomstick design was only a testament to the fact that he found himself and what he was saying to be more important than it was and had been speaking far too loudly as a result.

"You played a great game," Lily said to him as they walked.

"Thanks," he said, offering her a smile. "Slytherin… well, they're a tough team."

"They are," Lily agreed.

"Come on, the common room will be full of my housemates moping about," Gabriel said, opening the door to an unused classroom and urging her to follow him. She did so, taking a seat atop one of the desks as he closed the door and locked it.

Before Lily could utter a word, he was kissing her. She leaned into the kiss, sliding her arms around his neck. This was fine, she could more than deal with this. What was the rush to talk about anything, to discuss what she kept insisting to her friends that she would discuss with him, to talk any more about the Quidditch match?

The match was over, Valentine's Day was over, what did it matter, really, when a cute boy that looked even cuter in his Quidditch robes was teasing her tongue with his.

Why couldn't she just enjoy her boyfriend? Enjoy sneaking away to snog him?

She had worn a skirt today, with thick socks that went up to her thighs in an attempt to keep warm, which had not worked out as well as she had hoped. It had admittedly worked out much better when she had cast her sweater charm on her socks, but her thighs had still gotten a bit cold while sitting out in the pitch.

And now she jumped in surprise as Gabriel's hands slipped beneath her skirt and his cold fingers brushed the flesh of her upper thighs. Before she fully understood what was happening, she was on her feet and a good two feet away from Gabriel, having swatted his hands away instinctively.

They were each silent for a few seconds, watching the other in surprise.

"I—I…" Lily started.

"Lily, what's the deal?" Gabriel said with a heavy sigh. "You've done this a few times now."

She felt heat rush to her face in shame. He was annoyed with her, she could tell. Her heart pounded in her chest and she scrambled for something, anything to say to fix this.

"I—well—I mean, it just catches me off guard, is all," Lily said, her voice smaller than she had anticipated. She cleared her throat, trying to speak with more authority. "I'm not used to being touched… like  _that_ , is all."

"Well, you can't very well get used to it if you keep shoving me away each time," Gabriel said slowly, as though trying to explain the concept to her. Her frown deepened.

"It makes me uncomfortable," Lily said. "I don't—I'm not—I really like you, Gabe, but I'm not ready to move into a place where we're… you know,  _touching_  like that. Why can't we just stick to kissing for a while?"

Gabriel crossed his arms before him, staring her down. She felt smaller as he did this, her stomach turned with nerves.

"You just… want to stay at first base," he said. "For how long?"

"I don't know. Until I feel okay to move on to the next thing," Lily shrugged. "I think I'd be okay with touching  _over_  clothes…"

Gabriel rubbed at his temples, looking away from her for a moment as he seemed to consider this. Lily bit her bottom lip, waiting for him to speak again.

When he didn't, she continued, speaking quickly, nervously. "Yes, I think over the clothes would be just fine, it's just when you reach under my skirt or try to unbutton my clothes that I really freak out. I think it's just a baby steps sort of thing, you know?"

The boy let out another heavy sigh. "Baby steps."

"Yes," Lily nodded.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before taking a few steps closer to her, closing the distance she had caused when she had leaped away from him. Her heart caught in her throat, and she hoped that he might kiss her again and agree to take things slower.

"I don't think this is going to work out, Lily."

Her heart plummeted from her throat and landed on the floor with a crash. The blush that had been forming on her face drained away, leaving her pale.

"Wait, what?" she said.

Gabriel sighed. "Look, I… I don't want to have to hold your hand through all of this, you know?"

"It's not like I'm against it entirely," she said quickly. "It's just that I'm not ready  _right now."_

"And when  _will_  you be?" Gabriel said. "I like you a lot, but I want to do more than kiss you and I don't want to wait."

"So you're breaking up with me?" Lily said, hearing her voice crack despite her best efforts to keep it steady.

She had feared that he would be upset or annoyed with her for telling him that she wasn't ready. She hadn't actually expected him to outright end their relationship because she didn't want him reaching under her skirt right now.

"We're not on the same playing field," he said. "Listen, I've already had sex, and you're still figuring a lot of stuff out, which is fine, but maybe we should be seeing people that are on the same level and want the same things."

"I can't believe you would do this," Lily said, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"I mean, if you want to give it another try—" Gabriel started.

"Wait, so you think that I'm so desperate to date you that I would let you touch me like that just to keep you around?" Lily snapped, pushing him aside to get to the door. "Maybe you are on another field than I am, but I don't want to play the game you're playing."

"Lily, it's not that big of a deal—" Gabriel said, mid eye-roll.

"Yes it is!" Lily barked, her hand on the lock on the door. "And if you don't get that, then we  _shouldn't_  date, you indescribably smug, inconsiderate little  _toerag!"_

Before Gabriel could utter another word, Lily stepped out of the classroom, slamming the door behind her. She stormed down the corridor, trying to hold on to her anger as firmly as she possibly could.

But by the time she had reached the grand staircase, she had dissolved into hysterical, hacking sobs.

* * *

Most of the Hufflepuffs were off at the Slytherin victory party, leaving the Hufflepuff dorms largely vacant. Dorcas had ushered them all inside, with a bag from the kitchens slung over her shoulder. They shuffled through the common room, with a low ceiling and warm, welcoming feel. Pushing through a round door, they followed a cozy passageway to a door marked "Fifth Years," with copper letters.

As expected, none of Dorcas' roommates were there.

Dorcas, Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline took a seat atop Dorcas' bed. The walls nearby were decorated with numerous pictures of the Holyhead Harpies, a few photographs of muggle performers such as Donna Summer, and some photos of her family.

"How does a brownie with ice cream sound?" Dorcas said, shuffling through the bag she had brought from the kitchens.

"Okay, I guess," Lily said, her eyes puffy and red, her voice weak from crying.

"I know I'm not the one that's been been dumped but I would also like one," Marlene said, raising her hand.

"I'll make one for each of us," Dorcas said, pulling out her wand to make the process easier. Emmeline set up her record player on Dorcas' bedside table, fiddling with it until the cheerful, Scandinavian tunes of ABBA filled the room. The pop music always put Lily in a good mood.

"Do you want us to talk shit about him? Because we can do that, we can make fun of him until you smile," Marlene said as Dorcas set a bowl in Lily's hands with enough calories to hopefully smother her sadness.

"I don't know," Lily said. "Maybe."

Emmeline sat back down on the bed, gladly taking the bowl that Dorcas offered her. "He was always trying to sound superior to everyone else because he  _read and analyzed_  all these muggle classics when every opinion he had on all those books were from study guides that Abhijeet sold him. Like, he would repeat them verbatim. But he'd always find people that hadn't read the books so he would be the most knowledgeable by default."

"Yeah, that sounds right," Marlene said. "I remember last year he tried talking to me about some muggle book and I got so bored listening to him list off the symbolism."

"He called Hemingway a genius, that's enough reason to be glad you're not dating him, Lils," Emmeline said matter-of-factly.

"What's wrong with Hemingway?" Lily asked, finally helping herself to her food.

"What's  _right_  with Hemingway?" Emmeline scoffed.

Dorcas snorted. "Any white bloke that moves to Paris, writes a book about his daddy issues, and has a drinking problem is a 'genius.'"

"I haven't read any of that, but that feels right," Marlene laughed. "Also, Gabriel's nose is weird, isn't it?"

"So weird! It's too small for his face," Emmeline said.

Lily couldn't help but laugh.

"And he's got a really poor average when it comes to Quidditch, really, I kinda feel like today was a fluke," Dorcas said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, Araminta has threatened to kick him off the team at least twice, they had arguments about it in the common room," Emmeline nodded. "I'm sure he'll be safe after his performance today, but they butt heads a lot."

"He's not even that cute, really," Marlene added before putting a spoonful of brownie in her mouth. "You can do way better, Lily, on all fronts."

"He's very average," Emmeline agreed. "Which isn't bad, I guess but what stands out about him? What makes you  _remember_  him?"

"And he thinks he's so great that you'd scramble to have sex with him to keep him around, what a dolt," Dorcas said.

"A  _toerag_ , as our Grandma Evans would say," Marlene said. The others laughed, even Lily.

"It felt appropriate! My Gran always called people that when she got  _really_  mad and I guess I picked up the habit," Lily said, still grinning as she finally pulled the Ravenclaw scarf from her neck and cast it aside.

"Shall we take this out to the grounds and burn it?" Marlene asked, picking up the scarf.

"That might be fun," Lily mused. She reached in her bag and pulled out Gabriel's copy of  _Nineteen Eighty-Four._  "Maybe this, too?"

"Hey, now, Orwell didn't do anything to you," Emmeline said, taking the book.

"What were you just saying about Gabriel's taste in literature?" Dorcas snorted.

"You can't burn a copy of  _Nineteen Eighty-Four!_ Winston works at the Ministry of Truth, whose whole goal is manipulating the public, picking and choosing the information its given, burning what they've decided is no longer true, it would be just…  _wrong,_ " Emmeline said, holding the hardcover close to her.

"Okay, she's going full Ravenclaw on us, let her keep the book," Marlene mumbled to Lily.

"Fine, fine, but the scarf is going up in flames," Lily said.

"That's fine," Emmeline nodded. "Those flowers he gave you are dead by now, aren't they?"

"Oh, yeah, I hadn't gotten rid of them yet, I've been so busy," Lily sighed, thinking back to the dried out lilies that sat on her bedside table, once so pretty and now, well, not so much.

It seemed obviously symbolic, and this fact annoyed Lily greatly.

"Kindling!" Dorcas cheered.

"Ugh, I don't even like lilies that much," Lily said. "He didn't really ask much about  _me_  did he? Just a lot of talks about how intellectual he was."

"That's the trouble with boys in my house," Emmeline nodded. "But if we're burning things, I think I've got a polaroid of him from the last game somewhere."

Marlene ate another spoonful of ice cream. "Burn that fucker! Metaphorically, through his possessions! Since for some reason it's frowned upon to physically do it, even when the guy is a complete tosser."

"Toerag," Emmeline corrected immediately, leaving the others giggling again.

"Thank you, guys, really," Lily said. "For listening to me cry about a boy  _again_ , and eating sweets with me while we plan to burn his belongings."

"What are friends for?" Marlene said. Dorcas set her bowl down to wrap Lily in a tight hug.

"Gabe obviously didn't care about you as much as he cared about his sex drive, and you deserve so much better than that," Dorcas said, leaving Lily's eyes to water again. She hadn't thought that she had any tears left.

He didn't care about her. Not as much as she had cared about him. Not as much as he cared about his hormones.

She wiped at her eyes again, sniffling as it hit her all over again.

"Aw, Lily, it's gonna be okay," Emmeline said, patting her on the shoulder as Dorcas tightened her grip on her. "Boys like you. You can have your pick of the lot, you'll find someone  _way_  better than Gabriel."

"But what if they—what if it's just the same thing all over again?" Lily mumbled.

"Look there's definitely more guys like Gabe out there, I won't tell you there aren't," Marlene said, setting her now-empty bowl aside and holding Lily's hand. "But it's definitely not all of them."

Emmeline nodded. "If you can't find a decent one, there's no hope for the rest of us."

* * *

The next morning came with none of the Marauders hungover, as they had stayed true to their house and did not attend the victory party of the previous night. It was slightly odd to start the day after a match without having done something stupid the night before, but Remus insisted it was probably for the best to take at least  _one_  match off without someone doing something stupid.

"We didn't do anything stupid after the Gryffindor game," James pointed out as he helped himself to a waffle.

"Right, yes, true," Remus said almost a bit too quickly.

"Right," Sirius agreed, casting the other boy a quick glance. "The mistakes of the Ravenclaw after-party are enough to cover both, though, I think."

"Ugh, yeah, have you talked to Barnes since?" Peter asked, making a face as he took a drink from his coffee mug before pulling over the sugar dish.

Sirius' bark-like laugh was immediate. "No. Not at all. I hear she's sulking pretty hard about Vance beating her out for the solo again, I'm probably the last thing on her mind."

"I will give her credit in that the books she suggested are  _very_  fascinating," James said, meticulously filling each dimple of his waffle with butter, hazel eyes fixed as though this task required all of his concentration.

"You've been reading them, then?" Sirius snorted.

"I didn't buy them  _just_  to embarrass you," James said. "I am a  _scholar_ , Padfoot!"

"Ah, yes, while some pursue the arts or fine literature—I guess this could fall under that, actually," Peter said thoughtfully, spooning his fourth scoop of sugar into his mug.

"The illustrations are, uh, very detailed," Remus said, cheeks turning red with each word and very focused on the tray of muffins nearby.

"You too, huh?" Sirius sighed.

"James left me with one last time I was in the hospital wing," Remus sighed. "I had finished my homework, I was done with the comics that Emmeline lent me—"

"Ah, say no more, you were studying up for Miss Vance," Peter snickered.

"I was not!" Remus said, sinking lower in his seat in embarrassment.

"It's  _your_  reading list, you should really look into it," James grinned. "Clearly she thought you would benefit."

"I'm sorry, among us, who has first-hand experience with this and who's looking at illustrations in a self-help book?" Sirius said with a frown.

"Ah, right, didn't realize sleeping with a whole two different girls made you an expert," Remus nodded.

"Well the school thinks he's slept with  _way_  more than that," Peter reminded them. He grinned in Sirius' direction. "Oh, everyone here thinks you're better at this than you are, Pads."

"I'm fine!" Sirius said, a rare blush creeping up his neck.

"Just fine? The Sirius Black  _I_  know would never settle for that," James tsked.

"I'll read the fucking books if you all shut up about this while I try to eat my breakfast," Sirius said, gesturing to his plate.

"Fine, fine," James snickered as owls began to swarm inside with the mail, hooting as they went. Most conversations fell silent, the owls making too much noise to properly continue speaking without shouting until they left.

The Sunday Prophet fell in front of Remus and a single envelope fell before Sirius, with an all-too-familiar wax seal.

"Well, fuck," Sirius said simply, picking it up.

"Don't read it," Remus said at once, unrolling his newspaper. He shuffled through and pulled out the crossword before shoving it in Sirius' direction as he usually did. "Look, just fill that in, forget the letter."

"We go through this every time, you're gonna read it anyway, just read it, get it overwith," James said with a heavy sigh.

"It probably won't be much different from last month's letter, we got about the same amount of detentions, what else could they have to write to you about?" Peter said.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that I went on a date with a boy?" Sirius said dryly, glancing over his shoulder at the Slytherin table where his brother was sitting, looking exhausted but triumphant after the night's festivities.

"Would Regulus tell your parents that?" Remus said.

"Are you kidding? He's their little lap dog, he sends them detailed reports just in case the professors aren't writing regularly about whatever detention I've had recently." Sirius was bitter, but in an exhausted sort of way, as though he expected nothing less.

"But nothing happened, you snogged a bit at the party and you ditched him halfway through the date," Peter reasoned.

"Pete, how would your mother react if you told her that you went on a date with a bloke, then?" Sirius asked.

Peter paused, face falling. "Er…"

"Exactly, and Susanne actually  _likes_ you," Sirius frowned.

"Well, um, they didn't send a howler," Remus said, trying to be helpful. "So, maybe they aren't  _as_  mad as they could be. I still don't think you should read it, though."

James gently pat Sirius on the shoulder as the boy peeled open the seal despite Remus' suggestions not to. He pulled out the parchment, unfolded it, and hesitated.

"You read it," he said, giving it to James.

"Let's see," James sighed, adjusting his glasses slightly. " _Dear Sirius, It never fails to amaze me, the lengths you will go through in order to destroy our family's good name_ —okay so it's pretty standard so far– _Are you determined to send me to an early grave with your antics?"_

"I mean, if it works," Sirius mumbled.

" _Imagine my utter disgust and embarrassment when I was having tea with Druella and she asked if it was true that my son was a—_ I'm not gonna repeat this word, just use your imagination– _Thankfully I was able to shut her up promptly by asking if her daughter was still married to a—_ Er, again, use your imagination— _but then I received a letter from Regulus informing me of your escapades with boys at your school,"_  James continued.

"… you went on a date with one boy," Remus said. "And I mean, snogged a few, but you snogged a few  _girls_  too."

"I guarantee you that's not what Regulus told her, he told her whatever the most interesting rumor at the time was," Sirius sighed.

" _I understand that you are committing these foul acts only in an attempt to embarrass us further, and I'm sure that you and those degenerates you call friends are having quite a laugh about how poorly this reflects on the rest of us—_ Hey, is degenerate a step up or a step down from filth and deviants?"

"I think it's a step up," Peter nodded.

"Probably more like a step sideways," Remus said.

" _I urge you to find your shame—_ I'm pretty sure the Blacks bred out shame a while ago but all right, Walburga— _and cease this disgusting behavior immediately. If this continues, I can assure you that we will put you in your place and correct your behavior as soon as you are back home—_ What does she mean 'correct your behavior'?" James said, cocking a brow at the line in question.

"Oh that could mean anything," Sirius said, poking at his food absentmindedly with his fork. "Set me up with an arranged marriage, maybe. Or there's those potions that are supposed to make you straight—"

"Don't they literally just burn out your insides? They're outlawed," Remus said at once, eyes wide. A similar potion had been sold as a cure for vampirism and lycanthropy a few decades earlier.

It had been outlawed as well (only recently), but every now and again there would be whispers of another werewolf or vampire being poised by a promised cure. The law was not well-enforced as the potions in questions were always sold on the black market and it was difficult to collect evidence after someone drank it.

The less dire stories involved desperate "sub-humans" giving up their life savings for what was simply a placebo.

Sirius snorted. "I wouldn't put it past my parents to find some and at least threaten me with it. I don't know that they'd actually make me drink it. I'm not useful to them with a hole burned through my torso. They've threatened to send me to live with Bellatrix and Roldolphus, they're always saying they'll gladly sort me out."

"They're Death Eaters," Peter said after glancing around and being sure no one was listening in.

"And my parents could not be prouder of that," Sirius said. "I told them I'd run away in a second if they sent me there, got a huge lecture about how ungrateful I am, and a promise that I would be blasted off the family tree if I was ever so disrespectful. Anyway, Prongs, I'm sure that's not the end."

James glanced back down at the letter with a frown.  _"Your father and I have considered that sending you to Hogwarts at all was a mistake. We should have pulled you out as soon as you were sorted into Gryffindor, as soon as we learned that you had befriended a Potter of all people. You are clearly not smart enough or strong enough to resist the disgusting influences around you at that school. We expected better of you, but at least Regulus manages to make us proud."_

"What rubbish," Remus sighed.

"Is that it?" Sirius asked, eyes still fixed on his plate, his expression bored as he poked at his food a bit more.

"Er, no," James said.  _"Regulus understands that being a pureblood is a gift, and it is precious. Being a Black is a gift, and it is precious. Learn to cherish this gift, learn to protect it at all costs. For if you cannot learn it on your own, I can promise you that we will teach you, and it will not be a pleasant lesson to learn. This family has no room for blood traitors. This family has no room for scumsuckers. This family has no room for—_ Um, use your imagination— _This family has no room for those that do not cherish what we have worked so hard to protect. Toujours Pur."_

James folded the parchment and set it back in the envelope.

"Could've been worse," Sirius said.

"It was pretty bad," Remus said immediately.

"Maybe you should just come straight home with me this summer," James said.

"I can handle them," Sirius said, finally managing to take a bite of his eggs.

"Really, Mate—" James started.

"I'll be fine," Sirius said, mid-chew.

"Your parents shouldn't talk to you like that," Peter said, his voice small.

"My parents don't like me," Sirius said simply. "You all know this."

"They don't…  _hex_  you or anything, do they?" Remus said cautiously.

Sirius wiped crumbs from his chin, starting to laugh a bit. "It's always first year stuff, never anything to cause permanent damage, they're mostly talk. The worst I've gotten is a burn on my tongue after I called my mother a 'bitch' during an argument. And that was something like two years ago."

"Sirius, that's not—" Remus started.

"It's really not a big deal," Sirius said with a shrug, trying to calm his laughing.. "I can handle them."

"You shouldn't have to is the point," James said, arms crossed and breakfast forgotten. "You never mentioned them hexing you before."

"Because it's not a big deal, really," Sirius said, coughing slightly through the laughter. "Okay, some people have parents that perform the unforgivable on them, or use spells that actually leave scars and break bones, the most I've gotten is a bit singed and the one time Mum petrified me to cut my hair."

"Just because other people have it worse doesn't mean that what they're doing is okay, Padfoot, come on," James said. "They're your  _parents,_  they're not supposed to do that shit."

"Look, James, we can't all be miracle children that our parents worship. If I leave them alone, they usually leave me alone, simple as that. I'm legal in less than a year, then I never have to deal with them again," Sirius said, taking a piece of toast from the nearby platter, though with the way he was laughing, there was no way he could possibly eat it without choking.

"You're doing it again," Peter said as though it needed pointing out. "The laughing thing."

"No," Sirius said shaking with laughter. "No, no. I'm not doing the laughing thing."

"So you just find your parents hexing you hilarious?" Remus said, cocking a brow.

"I don't know why I'm laughing, but I'm  _fine_  okay?" Sirius said, taking a deep breath in an attempt to stop the laughter. "Look, they haven't hexed me in years, they'd rather tell me how worthless I am, it's fine."

"No, it's not," James said. "Really, I'll write my parents and—"

"No," Sirius said, shaking his head, breathing deep again, his laughter seeming to calm. "Your parents do so much for me as it is, really. I can deal with mine for the summer, don't worry about me, Prongs."

* * *

Severus sat beside Lily in the library, both of them not set to start tutoring for another twenty minutes. Lily was taking advantage by attempting to finish her assignment for McGonagall, transfiguration always taking her a little longer than some of her other classes.

"I heard you and Buckley broke up," Severus said before Lily had a chance to open her mouth and say hello to him. She frowned slightly. Severus hadn't much acknowledged her relationship with the other boy for the time they had been dating.

"Er, yeah," she said awkwardly, biting on her lip.

"Well, good, he's an idiot, never liked him," Severus said with a nod.

Lily nodded along as well, eyes focused on her quill in her hand. "Right. Yeah."

"Oh come on, you're not sad over it, are you?" Severus said.

"I mean, I did like him, Sev," Lily shrugged. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, don't be sad about it. You're better off, really, someone better will come along. Quidditch players don't have much room in their brains for anything outside of plays and broomstick models," Severus said.

Lily nodded again, though the frown stayed fixed to her face. It had been satisfying to set fire to Gabriel's scarf with the other girls, but she had woken up that morning still so, so sad about the entire thing.

"No, I know," Lily said with a sigh. She absolutely should not be dating Gabriel, and part of her had known that since the first time he slid his hand under her skirt.

But there was a part of her that wanted so badly for him to like her again, for him to decide to take things slow and hold her hand through the halls once more. She wished that she was ready for what he wanted, she wanted to be able to stand his touch, to  _want_  it in that way.

But none of that was going to happen any time soon.

Why was it so easy for Marlene?

"How was the victory party?" she asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Oh, well, I'm not really much for parties," Severus shrugged. "But Rosier locked us out of the dorm so he and Peggy could be alone so I was forced to try and make small talk with some Hufflepuffs. Such a dull group."

"Surely you don't believe the entire house is dull," Lily said, cocking a brow.

"Fair enough, they could be the Ravenclaws, insisting on talking about books no one has heard of or music no one listens to. Barnes has been wailing like a Banshee about not getting the choir solo, as though anyone really cares about the choir," Severus said with a roll of the eye. "I'd have much rather spend the evening elsewhere."

Lily nodded. "Right, well, I'm sorry you weren't able to enjoy yourself."

Severus shrugged. "There are worse things."

"Certainly," Lily said, wishing the most of her problems were dull conversations and house stereotypes right now. They fell into silence, Severus watching her and Lily watching her unmoving quill.

She couldn't talk to him about her breakup. He had already declared that she was better off and that seemed to be the end of it for him.

She couldn't tell him that Gabriel wanted her to move faster than she wanted to. It was awkward, it was strange.

The girls had spoken of sex and specific acts enough that it was a bit more comfortable now to talk about these things with them, even with burning cheeks and uncontrollable giggles.

How was she supposed to bring this up to  _Severus?_  He was like Emmeline in that he hadn't gotten much attention from the opposite sex and sometimes got a bit bitter about it. She was certain he wouldn't care much to hear about her awkward problems.

But it was all that was on her mind when she wasn't forcing herself to focus on her homework. She had already said all there was to say to the girls, and anything else now would just be repetition.

Even so, still she felt that she hadn't gotten it all out of her system yet. She wished she  _could_  talk to Severus about this.

"Right, well… I'll, um, let you get back to your essay," Severus said after a few more silent moments, standing up again.

"You don't have to leave," she said.

"I need to find a book for Flitwick's assignment anyway," Severus said, offering her a wave before walking off and leaving her by herself again.


	39. Never Mind The Friends I'm Making

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! We're getting into some conflict! Some of you are gonna get mad at this, I bet! But here we are, this is happening, and I'm really looking forward to what will eventually resolve this conflict, honestly. You've stuck with me this long, let's do this.
> 
> (Chapter's also a little late today because YOU GUYS my vinyl of The Runaway's debut album came in and I had to listen to it! I can't wait until I get to the point in the timeline I can start making references to them in this story.)

_He swore to her that he hadn't done this. What did it mean for their friendship if she just disregarded all of that and chose to believe that he was lying?_

* * *

What Dorcas wouldn't give to skip potions and go straight back to the dormitory to take a nap.

Don't get her wrong; she didn't mind the class. She couldn't really pinpoint any of her classes that she truly hated. The most negative feelings she had for potions was some mild frustration toward Slughorn for his blatant favoritism, but she wasn't about to let it keep her up all night that he wasn't as fond of her as he was of Lily or anyone else in his club.

But they were free to talk often during that class, and she and Emmeline would whisper about muggle music, muffled by the sounds of the bubbling cauldrons, and that was always nice.

The Hufflepuff was about halfway across the entrance hall to the staircase that would lead her to the dungeons when someone else nearly ran straight into her. She grabbed the smaller girl in Gryffindor robes by the elbow and eyed her in concern.

"Mary!" she said. "What's wrong?"

Mary MacDonald's face was streaked with tears, her head hanging low to avoid drawing attention to herself.

"I-It's nothing, really," Mary said, wiping at her eyes as soon as Dorcas let go of her.

"Did something happen in class? Are you okay?" Dorcas asked, unwilling to take the answer that the younger girl had provided.

"I-I don't know why I'm c-crying, it's just a stupid word," Mary said, sniffling slightly. Dorcas dug through her bag for a tissue and handed it to the other girl. Mary gladly took it. "Thank you."

"If it's upset you this much it's probably not stupid, okay? What happened?" Dorcas said. Mary shrunk back slightly as a group of Slytherin boys went by, laughing loudly as they went. Dorcas' eyes flicked between the familiar group and Mary. "Mary? Did they do something?"

"I know they were just t-trying to intimidate me before the next match," Mary said, wiping at her eyes again. "I just, I don't know why they had t-to call me…"

The younger girl went quiet, staring at her shoes.

"What did they call you?" Dorcas said, eyes darkening and already knowing the answer.

"Mudblood," Mary said softly.

"You go tell Professor McGonagall, okay? I'll take care of them," Dorcas said, giving Mary a tight hug.

"You don't have to do that, Dorcas, really—" Mary started, but Dorcas was already hot on the trail of the boys that had gone by, nostrils flared.

It took her no time to catch up with them, grabbing the back of Mulciber's robes and spinning him around, as he was the closest one to her.

"What's your deal?" she spat, glaring daggers as the group of boys snickered at her anger.

"Careful with the merchandise, Meadowes, or it'll be detention," Mulciber said, jabbing his thumb at the prefect badge on his robes.

"I know what you lot called Mary MacDonald and that's not going to fly, you got it?" Dorcas said, never wavering.

"Not going to fly, hm? Sort of like that cheap excuse for a broom you've got, Meadowes?" Rosier said, leaving the others in his group to laugh again.

"That's funny, I don't remember you doing a lot of flying during the last match, Rosier, how's your head?" Dorcas said dryly. "You can't go around calling people that, Quidditch rival or not, who the hell do you think you are?"

"Who do you think  _you_  are, telling us what we can and can't say?" Severus said. Dorcas cocked a brow. Curious, usually Severus stayed near the back of his group and didn't say much.

But then again, usually Dorcas was with Lily when she had to deal with this group. Her absence was clearly not lost on him.

"Her type love to try and tell people what to do and then say  _they're_  oppressed," Avery said with a roll of the eye.

Dorcas snarled, stepping forward with such force that Avery couldn't help but step back against the wall instinctively. "And what  _exactly_  would my type be, then?"

"The type that over-reacts to everything, Merlin's sake, back off," Mulciber said forcefully. Dorcas didn't move.

"You lot think you're so special and so superior when you didn't work for a single thing you have," Dorcas said.

" _You_  lot think that it's  _everyone else's_  fault that you don't have anything," Avery challenged, stepping away from the wall as much as he could with Dorcas' feet planted firmly before him. "Pathetic! That's what you are, pathetic scum. Born into it and expecting someone else to drag you out."

Dorcas was not usually one to resort to hexing someone in the hallway but her wand was against Avery's throat so quickly it seemed instinctual. She barely had a moment to be surprised at her own action before another wand was pointed straight at her.

"Back off, Mudblood!" Severus said.

Everything else seemed to fade away. Suddenly Avery didn't matter anymore, and Dorcas turned to Severus, teeth clenched, wand now pointed at him.

"Call me that again," she whispered. "See what happens."

"I'm not afraid of a Hufflepuff Mudblood," Severus said. "I know spells you could never dream of."

" _Flipendo!"_  Dorcas shouted, the first thing she could think of, and Severus easily deflected the charm.

" _Sectumsempra!"_  Severus called in response and Dorcas dove out of the way, the stone of the wall behind her cracking as the spell hit it. She was on the floor, arm over her head instinctually.

What on earth was that spell? She had never heard of it before.

Two calls of  _"Expelliarmus!"_ rang through the air before Severus and Dorcas had a chance to continue their sad excuse for a duel, both of their wands slipping from their fingers as Lily and Emmeline approached, Remus at their heel.

"What's going on!?" Lily demanded. "Mary MacDonald told us we had better come down here and she was in tears."

"Meadowes is just looking for a fight, Evans," Mulciber said at once. "I think it's worth a week's detention myself.

"I somehow doubt that's what happened," Remus said, offering Dorcas his hand to help her up from the floor.

"We were just trying to get to class,  _she_  came up and started harassing us," Avery said. "She cast the first spell, Snape was just defending me."

"Yeah I cast the first spell," Dorcas said, teeth clenched and approaching Avery as though she was more than willing to take him on without her wand. Emmeline took her by her sleeve to stop her, struggling slightly, for Dorcas was much stronger than the Ravenclaw. "And I'd do it again, you good-for-nothing—!"

"What  _happened?"_  Lily demanded, raising her voice to be heard over the sound of the bell signaling the start of class.

"We just told you, but it looks like, as usual, anyone's word is better than a Slytherin's," Rosier scoffed.

"I ran into Mary," Dorcas said. "She said this lot had been trying to intimidate her,  _probably_  because they know she beat their seeker and she could very well beat ours at the next match and knock them out of first place. She also told me that they called her a—that they called her a  _Mudblood."_

Remus and Emmeline's expression darkened. Lily visibly winced at the word.

"So I told them off, and yeah, I pulled my wand on Avery because he was talking shit and then this prat," Dorcas said, pointing to Severus, "Decided to call  _me_ —ugh, he called me a Mudblood, too. So, yes, I cast the first spell. Give me the detention."

Lily turned from Dorcas to Severus, her eyes pleading. He glanced her way only briefly before straightening his stance and clearing his throat. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh fuck off," Dorcas growled.

"No, I really don't," Severus said.

"We saw MacDonald, yeah, but we didn't call her  _that,"_  Rosier said innocently.

"And Snape never said a word to you, Meadowes," Avery nodded.

"We're reporting  _all_  of you, just to be clear," Remus said.

"Yes, I'm late for potions, I'll just inform Slughorn when Dorcas and I get there and I'm sure he'll want to meet with you all later," Emmeline said. She cast a glance toward Mulciber. "Especially you, seeing as you didn't do anything to stop this,  _prefect."_

"It's such a shame, Vance, that you took after your whore of a mother's tendency to try and drag decent wizard folk with you through the mud," Mulciber snarled.

Emmeline's eyes narrowed but before she could utter a word, Remus had stepped between them, much taller than both of them, and his scars lending to making him look more intimidating in that moment. "I don't  _see_  any decent wizard folk around here, Mulciber, just you. And funny enough, you're the only one making yourself look bad, as usual."

"Right, because you're a grand judge of character, Lupin, look at  _your_  friends," Severus sneered.

" _My friends_  would never call someone a slur, actually," Remus said. "Which is more than you lot can say. Now, why don't you idiots head to class, and when Lily and I get there, Snape can have his wand back."

"You can't tell us what to do, half-breed," Rosier said, attempting to look intimidating, which failed spectacularly because Remus was taller than he was as well.

"Yes, actually, I can," Remus said, pointing to his own prefect badge. "Or do you want to make this worse? You'll probably lose your lead in the house points as it is at this point."

Reluctantly, and with matching scowls, the group of Slytherins began heading for the Transfiguration classroom. Severus was near the end of the group, slowing down enough to lean over to Lily and say pleadingly, "I never said anything, Lily, really."

He set a hand to her shoulder briefly before following the others.

"Can you believe him? What a bold-faced lie!" Dorcas snarled as the Slytherins turned the corner.

"We believe you, Dorcas," Emmeline said, setting a hand to Dorcas' shoulder and squeezing it gently.

"That whole group uses that word all the time, I don't know why they think we would believe they didn't," Remus sighed.

Remus and Emmeline were watching the Slytherins walk off in unsurprised disappointment. Dorcas' eyes were fixed on Lily, who stood with her arms crossed before her, staring at her shoes and biting her lip.

"Hey," Dorcas said to her. "I know it's hard for you to hear that, I know you and Severus are close and all—"

"Are you  _sure_  that's what happened?" Lily said softly.

Dorcas cocked a brow, taking a small step back as though what Lily had said was comparable to a light shove. She certainly hadn't expected that. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe you misheard is all," Lily said. Dorcas was not the only one watching her incredulously. Remus and Emmeline stood behind the Hufflepuff with unflinching frowns as Lily spoke. She shifted her weight from foot to foot beneath their gaze.

"I didn't mishear! Do you think I would make this up?" Dorcas demanded, squaring her shoulders and looking Lily straight in the face, even if the redhead refused to do the same. "What's so hard to believe about it?"

"I just—I don't think that Sev would—" Lily started.

"That he would what? Look me in the eye and call me 'Mudblood?'" Dorcas said, Lily visibly wincing at the word again. "Because he did, Lily."

"Look, I'm not saying you're lying, I'm saying maybe you're mistaken. Sev's one of my best friends and—"

"I thought  _I_  was one of your best friends."

"You are!"

"Then why the hell are you defending the guy that threw a slur at me?"

"I'm not, I just—it doesn't sound like the Severus I know."

"Well, it's the Severus the rest of us know, Lily."

Lily fell silent at this, Remus and Emmeline watching on awkwardly, casting each other questioning glances every few moments as though to ask if they should step in or what on earth they should say to make this better.

Could anything be done to make this better?

It was all happening so fast.

"I don't think—" Lily started, finally. Dorcas' rage would not calm, however, and she did not allow the redhead to finish.

"Wake up, he spends all his time with a group of idiots that want nothing more than to be Death Eaters, laugh when the Dark Mark shows up on campus like it's a real funny joke, and say we're all over-reacting when they call us something specifically designed to dehumanize us," Dorcas said. "You really don't think he's okay with all of that? That he doesn't want to take the mark too?"

"Severus wouldn't—" Lily said, shaking her head.

"You honestly don't think that's what he's going for? That he'd hang out with Death Eaters but oh, no, he'd never be one. He spends his free time coming up with so many dark spells to the point that he has a reputation for it, but oh no, he'd never use them. He'd never call someone a  _Mudblood,"_  Dorcas said, cringes following the word again. "Or maybe it's just that he wouldn't call  _you_  one."

"He wouldn't," Lily said, almost pleadingly. She wanted them all to see Severus for who she saw him as, she always had, but it was clear now, more than ever, that it wasn't going to happen.

"Well, he called  _me_  one," Dorcas said. "And you know what, maybe you're okay with that. Maybe you don't care about him joining a cult trying to wipe out muggles and muggleborns as long as you're not one of them. But I do. This is bigger than you and me, this is about everyone like us."

"Don't say I don't care! You know I care!" Lily said, clearly insulted that Dorcas would imply such a thing. "I just  _don't_  think that Severus—"

"Look, if this is the hill you want to die on, Lily, I won't stop you. If you want to defend someone who would  _not_  do the same for you, especially if you were literally any other muggleborn at this school, then fine. But leave me out of it. I am not interested in hearing about how he's really a fine guy outside his prejudices and his shitty friends. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for class," Dorcas said, turning her heel immediately, her robes and curls fluttering behind her as she went.

Lily watched her go, green eyes wide and mouth agape. Once Dorcas turned the corner, the redhead turned to her fellow prefects and said, "Can you believe that?!"

"Er..." Remus said hesitantly.

"Do you want us to tell you the truth or what you want to hear?" Emmeline said.

Lily's shoulders fell. "Em, I swear—"

"Lily, I know you and Severus are close, I know that you know him better than we do, but based on what I do know? Based on who he hangs out with, based on how he spends his free time? Of course I believe Dorcas," Emmeline said.

"I do know Severus, and he's not a bad guy, really. A-And what about what she said about me not caring unless it's affecting me? I promise, it's not true," Lily said, now chewing on her lip so voilently that she was sure to draw blood soon. They had to believe that wasn't true. What would she do if her friends thought her to be so careless?

"We know you care, Lily," Remus said. "It's a weird situation with both of them being your friend."

"Maybe you and Dorcas can talk it out later, after everyone's had a chance to calm down," Emmeline said. She gestured in the direction Dorcas had left. "I'd better go, though, I should be in potions right now, too. I need to talk to Slughorn about what happened and give Dorcas her wand back."

"Right," Lily said, staring at the ground. Emmeline offered the Gryffindors an awkward wave before heading off.

"We should head back to class, too," Remus said to Lily, who nodded, walking after him, still not looking up from the floor. Tears were welling in her eyes out of frustration.

Severus couldn't have said that. He wouldn't. He would never. He was the first person to tell her that it didn't make a difference, that it didn't matter if her parents were muggles or not. He introduced her to magic; he was a constant between the two worlds she was torn between.

He couldn't have called Dorcas that.

 _But Dorcas wouldn't lie,_  a nagging voice in her head said.

No! Severus would never call Lily a Mudblood and surely that meant he would never call anyone else that. It didn't make sense to just apply that to her and no one else. He had some odd hobbies, sure, but that didn't make him a Death Eater!

Still, as Lily followed Remus into Transfiguration, the boy explaining in hushed tones to McGonagall why they had been late, she could feel her stomach turn as everything Dorcas and Severus had said echoed through her mind.

She settled into her seat between Marlene and Severus, setting Severus' wand that she still had from disarming him beside him. Severus hardly looked up from his notes and seemed exceptionally less bothered by what had happened than she was.

Going through the motions, she pulled out her parchment, ink bottle, and quill to take notes as McGonagall introduced them to a new spell, one that she stressed was on the O.W.L.s seven of the last ten years. That should be enough to make Lily focus on anything except what had just happened in the hallway.

But she couldn't, barely managing to write a word every few minutes, none of which would help her study later.

 _I can't lose Severus_ , was a thought that flitted in and out of her mind.

Gabriel had just recently broken up with her, left her behind because she didn't want to move as quickly as he did. She felt like there were so many expectations of her, expectations that her friends like Marlene and Alice were all too comfortable living up to.

But Severus didn't expect anything of her. He was the only one of her male friends that wasn't tainted with some sort of romantic expectation, or in Remus' case, a past attempt at romance that had failed spectacularly. He didn't want any of that out of her; he didn't expect her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with. He couldn't care less about romantic endeavors.

She couldn't lose that.

She couldn't lose the boy that used to stand on the back of her bicycle as she sped around the neighborhood. She couldn't lose the boy that told her so much about the magical world before she ever set foot on the Hogwarts Express, allowing her not to be as clueless as so many of the other muggleborns were. She couldn't lose the boy that was like a brother to her when her sister no longer wanted anything to do with her.

Severus was there before Marlene, he was there before Dorcas, and he was there before Emmeline.

He swore to her that he hadn't done this. What did it mean for their friendship if she just disregarded all of that and chose to believe that he was lying?

It was too much. She couldn't go through a break-up and lose her childhood best friend so close together.

She couldn't face her childhood best friend being as terrible as everyone told her that he was. She just couldn't.

_But can I really lose Dorcas instead?_

Lily's stomach turned and she hoped no one noticed her wiping at her eyes.

She didn't want any of this.

* * *

"She was still really mad when we got through potions and had to go explain to Sprout what happened," Emmeline was saying at dinner that night, sitting at the Gryffindor table with Marlene and Lily.

After class they had learned that Mary MacDonald had reported the incident to McGonagall while they were busy disarming Severus and Dorcas. While Mary knew that  _someone_  in that group had called her a Mudblood, her back had been turned and she wasn't sure which one it was. All the Slytherins had been given two weeks detention and had lost fifty points each. Dorcas had been given one week, and lost fifty points as well.

The group of Slytherins were back to looking smug as ever, laughing loudly at their table on the opposite end of the hall. Dorcas was sitting at the Hufflepuff table with her roommates, seeming to have a pleasant enough conversation, but very purposely not looking anywhere near the Gryffindor table.

"I mean I don't blame her," Marlene said. "What did she say when you were just over there?"

Emmeline had arrived to dinner after the others. Marlene and Lily were already at the Gryffindor table, while Dorcas had settled with the Hufflepuffs, and with a heavy sigh, Emmeline had walked over to Dorcas to talk to her. After a few minutes, she had plopped down next to Marlene, where she still sat, picking at her plate.

"I asked if she wanted to come sit over here and maybe talk it out. She said that she already said her piece and was perfectly fine where she was and thanked me for checking in," Emmeline said.

"She doesn't think we're taking sides, does she?" Marlene said, glancing Dorcas' way.

"Oh, no," Emmeline said, shaking her head.

"Good," Marlene said.

"I'm right here!" Lily said, frustrated. She had been on the verge of tears the entire meal.

"Well, sorry, Lily, but you know how we feel about him," Marlene shrugged.

"So you think he said it," Lily frowned. "Sounds like taking sides to me."

"I mean if you want us to go sit over there," Emmeline said, pointing to the Hufflepuff table.

Lily sighed. The fact that the worst she had gotten from Marlene and Emmeline was judgmental glances was probably a blessing at this point since Dorcas seemed determined not to talk to her at all. "No… no, I don't."

"Look, Lily, we still like you… we just don't like this, or Severus," Marlene said. "But we also know you're having a hard time with it since you've known him so long, I mean, you've been looking like you're gonna cry ever since class."

"Yeah, well," Lily sighed, crossing her arms before her on the table's surface and setting her head down atop them.

"You're stealing my pose there," Emmeline said, poking her gently.

"I'm gonna stay here until things go back to normal," Lily mumbled.

"That doesn't work, I promise," Emmeline said.

"What's wrong, Evans, still upset about Fuckley?" James Potter said, seeming to appear out of nowhere and sliding into the vacant spot beside Lily.

"James, bad time," Marlene said, slicing her hand across her throat.

"Really bad time," Emmeline added.

"Because I can take care of him for you! Just say the word and he'll wake up with his bed on top of Ravenclaw tower. I would do that for you, Evans," James said, completely ignoring Marlene and Emmeline's warnings.

Lily did not lift her head, her shoulders twitching slightly as though she had started to cry. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse. "Go  _away_ , Potter."

James cocked a brow and his smirk vanished as he glanced between Lily and her friends, who where still gesturing for him to leave.

"I didn't expect you to  _cry,_  Evans, shit," he said, hesitantly and gently patting her shoulder.

"Go away," she said again. "You can't help."

"Get lost, really," Marlene said.

James put his hands up in defeat and stood from the bench. After casting Lily another confused glance, he shuffled off to the part of the table where the Marauders had been sitting. They couldn't hear him from where they sat but could only assume that he was asking Remus what the hell was going on.

"Lily?" Marlene said, gently setting a hand on top of the redhead's.

"I don't think I can get out of this without losing one of them as a friend," Lily said into the tables, her shoulders still shaking with sobs.

Marlene and Emmeline exchanged glances.

 _Fucking Severus,_  Marlene mouthed to the Ravenclaw. Emmeline rolled her eyes and nodded, leaning forward to gently stroke Lily's hair.

"I mean. I don't know what to tell you, Lily… you've got to evaluate your relationship with both of them, and decide whose version you believe," Marlene said, attempting to sound gentle, but annoyance seeping into her tone as she went.

"I mean, it kind of seems like you already did," Emmeline said.

Lily didn't respond. What was there to say?

They would never understand where she was coming from, and she didn't want to fight them on it and possibly lose them as well.

Instead, she continued to sob into the table, hoping that no one else would take notice. She didn't want to explain this to anyone else.

There had to be something she could do.

* * *

It had taken Lily ages to find Severus without his housemates so that she could talk to him. Talking during class was not much of an option, and as they had all purposefully taken the same electives, they traveled in a pack between classes, as well.

_(Merlin, even the Marauders didn't all have the same schedule!)_

But finally, during a free period, she caught him on the way out of the library, all by himself, and had taken him by the elbow. She dragged him off so forcefully that she had almost knocked the poor boy over. Finding a quiet place near a frosty window, she finally turned to talk to the very confused Slytherin.

"What's going on?" Severus said.

"Dorcas," Lily said immediately.

Severus rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. "What about her?"

"She won't talk to me because I defended you after she said you called her a—well, you know," Lily said, her stomach turning slightly even thinking about Severus calling anyone that, much less her dear friend.

"And?" Severus said, crossing his arms before him and raising a brow to her.

"And, obviously this whole thing was a misunderstanding," Lily said. "So, can you please talk to her? Clear the air?"

"Why on earth would I do that?" Severus said.

Lily frowned. "Because she thinks you called her something terrible, don't you want her to know that's not true? What  _did_  you say that she heard... well, you know?"

"I didn't call her anything," Severus said with a slight shrug, looking deliberately out the window. "And I have no interest in making peace with someone willing to lie about that."

Lily was silent for a moment. Dorcas, well, she wouldn't lie about something like this, she was sure. But Severus  _insisted_  he hadn't said anything, and they had been friends for so long, surely he wouldn't lie either.

"Well then maybe she heard someone else and thought it was you, there's some explanation, I'm sure," Lily said. "Dorcas wouldn't lie about this, it had to have just been a misunderstanding, like I said."

"Why wouldn't she lie about it? Your little 'girl power' group hates me, they haven't exactly been shy about that," Snape said, finally glancing back at Lily. "They probably just want you to drop me as a friend entirely. Next Vance will be concocting a tale about something I supposedly said about her mother."

"They don't go around making things up, Sev," Lily said immediately. Sure, her friends didn't like him but—well, okay, they  _really_  didn't like him. At all. They  _had_  all made it very clear.

Marlene had asked several times why Lily bothered being friends with him at all. Emmeline tended not to bring him up if she could help it, but her far and few comments were enough to hint at a not-so-great opinion of the boy. Dorcas usually was the most positive of the bunch, but obviously that had changed.

"Mmhm," Severus said dismissively. "Look, I'm not interested in what your friends think of me, Lily, they're just like everyone else that think Potter and his friends can do no wrong and I'm just the punch line to their jokes, so what's the point?"

Lily cocked a brow. "What the hell does Potter have to do with any of this? I just want you to clear the air with Dorcas so—"

"So she'll talk to you again? Maybe you're better off," Severus said with a shrug.

"Fine! You don't want to talk to Dorcas. So why don't you tell  _me_  what actually happened so that I can talk to her, then?" Lily demanded, her patience wearing thin as the seconds ticked by and Severus continued to avoid her eye and dismiss what she didn't think was an unreasonable request.

"We've been over this. Meadowes came looking for a fight, I didn't call her anything," Severus said.

"Well who called Mary  _you-know-what_  and prompted Dorcas to go after you, then?" Lily said.

"Avery did okay? It wasn't me," Severus said. "What does it matter? He was just getting competitive over Quidditch."

"Funny how no one on the Gryffindor team gets competitive in that way," Lily said.

"Ah, the noble house of Gryffindor, may we all dream of being as righteous," Severus said mockingly. "It's just a word, Lily, he was caught up in the moment."

"It's not just a word," Lily said. "Did you call Dorcas that or not?"

"I already told you that I didn't! What's with the interrogation?" Severus said, irritation seeping into his features to match hers. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you! You're my best friend, but the people you're hanging out with are just—" Lily started.

Severus cut her off. "Look, maybe it's for the best that we just don't talk to each other about our friends, it never ends well. I don't like yours, you don't like mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go get ready for the Slytherin's Defense Against the Dark Arts study group, I'll see you around."

With a swish of his cloak he was off. Lily kicked the nearby wall in frustration, cringing immediately as pain shot up her foot.

When did friendship get so hard?


	40. Caught In The Middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forty chapters! This is the point in the story where I go "I did not mean for this story to be this long," but here we are. Thank you guys for sticking around with me this long, I really appreciate it. Once again, if you enjoy yourself, please let me know what you think!

" _Remus and Peter said we were being codependent."_

* * *

 

Friday night marked the first of Dorcas' detentions. She had received a notice to arrive at the potions classroom at seven o'clock, and she made her way there after dinner, head held high.

Slughorn wasn't there yet, having been in a spirited discussion with Flitwick when Dorcas had left the great hall. She took a seat at a table in the middle row, the same one she usually sat in during class, and wondered what exactly Slughorn would have her do.

Dorcas hadn't gotten detention a lot in her time at Hogwarts. She could count the number on one hand, and it was usually for telling someone off for something they had said or done. Most of the time she was required to write lines about adjusting her attitude, but she wasn't sure if that was the route Slughorn would take.

The hinges of the classroom door squeaked and Dorcas turned, expecting to see Professor Slughorn, but was surprised to see a cheerful James Potter instead.

"All right, Meadowes?" he grinned, strolling over to the table she was at and taking a seat as well.

"Er, I suppose, all things considered," she said. "Detention too?"

"Of course," James shrugged. "You're in for trying to hex Snivellus, yeah? Remus told me what happened."

"Yeah," Dorcas nodded. She was surprised when James held his hand up to her. She blinked, confused, before laughing slightly and slapping her palm to his. "What are you in for, then?"

"Successfully hexing Snivellus," James said. "Used a tripping jinx on him in class and he went headfirst into his potion."

"Oh so  _that's_  why he's had his hood up all day, what happened to him when he fell in the potion?" Dorcas said, amused.

"Oh his face is  _covered_  in boils. Promfrey expects they'll clear up over the weekend," James shrugged. "Then he tried to hex us outside class and Sirius made his eyebrows grow long enough that he couldn't see, so he's in detention with McGonagall now."

"You know, sometimes I think you guys are too harsh on him, but then some other times…" Dorcas said, trailing off, unsure how to finish. Did anyone deserve to be bullied? Well, no.

But after what Severus Snape had said and done? It was hard to find her sympathy. Was he not a bully, too?

"Some other times he's a complete wanker?" James provided. Dorcas hesitated slightly before nodding.

"Yeah, basically," she said. "What does Slughorn usually have you do for detention, then?"

"It's not that bad, we'll probably have to scrub some cauldrons and dust some shelves. He usually disappears into his office for most of it, so we usually do it with magic and make sure we're ready to pretend we've been working hard when he comes back," James said in hushed tones. It was a good thing he had lowered his voice, for moments later, the door opened again and Slughorn entered the room.

"Ah, yes, detention," Slughorn said, as though he had forgotten to expect them on his way there. "Right, right, in the cupboard over there you'll find the spare cauldrons, I want each of them scrubbed thoroughly. Use only the soap at the sink, everything else reacts to the trace amounts of potion badly. If you finish with that, you will dust the ingredients in this cupboard."

Slughorn shuffled through a drawer before producing two sets of gloves and a pair of feather dusters. Approaching the teenagers, he handed the items over. "No magic. Now, I will be in my office, grading, do try not to break anything."

"Yes, Professor," James and Dorcas said at once, making a show of pulling on the gloves and heading for the cupboard where the cauldrons were kept.

Once Slughorn seemed satisfied that they were hard at work with their punishment, he trudged off to another door and walked through. It had barely clicked shut before James set the cauldron he had begun scrubbing down.

"I don't know why they don't take our wands away when they insist  _no magic,_  really," he mumbled, pulling off the gloves.

"So, what spell do you use, then?" Dorcas said, curiously.

"It's a bit of transfiguration, a bit of a charm," James said, mumbling under his breath before tapping each glove with his wand. They seemed to stand on their fingertips before leaping across the sink where one grabbed a cauldron and the other grabbed the brush and began scrubbing. "There. Want me to do yours, then?"

"Sure," Dorcas said, pulling off her gloves as well. Soon, they had joined in, scrubbing the cauldrons vigorously. She giggled slightly. "It's like Thing, from the Addams Family."

"What's that?" James asked, seeming genuinely curious as he walked to the other cupboard they were meant to dust and pulled it open, wand at the ready.

"Oh, it's a muggle cartoon," Dorcas explained. "And a comic. It's about an odd family that are into everything spooky, and their butler looks like Frankenstein's monster—do you know Frankenstein?"

"Yeah, Remus had us watch the film," James nodded, quickly removing every speck of dust from within the cupboard with a flick of the wrist.

"Right, well, their Butler looks like that, and they have a disembodied hand named Thing that helps out around the house, and the daughter is always trying to kill the son, and—it doesn't sound as quirky as it is when I explain it," Dorcas said sheepishly.

"I'll take your word for its quirkiness," James smiled.

"Well, if you heard the theme song, maybe," Dorcas mused. "Dah-nuh-nuh-nuh!" She snapped her fingers twice. "Dah-nuh-nuh-nuh!" Two more snaps. "Dah-nuh-nuh-nuh! Dah-nuh-nuh-nuh! Dah-nuh-nuh-nuh!" Another two snaps.

James laughed slightly. "I'll have to ask Remus about it, I think he's reluctant to show us cartoons after we asked him a million questions about how muggles got drawings to move without magic."

"Well there's a live-action one, too, I watched more of the cartoon," Dorcas said. "So, er, what do you usually do, then, while waiting for Slughorn to dismiss you?"

James pulled a mirror from his pocket and held it up triumphantly.

"You… stare at yourself in the mirror?" Dorcas asked, cocking a brow.

Maybe Lily had been on to something when she said that James Potter's ego was unrivaled.

She shook her head of the thought of Lily.

"Sirius Black," James said to the mirror, and Dorcas leaned over his shoulder to see, surprised to find that the mirror had gone dark. James spoke again, this time in a whisper.  _"Psst._  Sirius. Did McG leave you by yourself?"

The sound of a bit of shuffling around could be heard coming from the mirror before suddenly it was no longer dark, but a scene of another classroom. Sirius' face appeared a moment later as he adjusted his own mirror.

"She just left, took my wand so I couldn't magic the rest of these lines," Sirius said. "All right, Meadowes?"

"Yeah, but, wow, did you make these?" Dorcas said, eying the mirror in awe.

"Well, we charmed them," Sirius nodded, seeming to have propped his mirror up against something as he went back to his parchment. "Well, mostly  _I_  charmed them."

"I helped," James protested immediately. Sirius grinned.

"So, you've found a way to distract each other even when you're in different detentions," Dorcas said, shaking her head slightly. "Impressive, really."

"Well, I'm glad someone thinks so," Sirius said, eyes still on his parchment. "Remus and Peter said we were being  _codependent."_

"No, but this is amazing! It's like a telephone, but better, it's like something out of the Jetsons or something," Dorcas said. James and Sirius both looked at her quizzically, and before they could ask, she added, "Muggle cartoon, takes place in the future."

"Oh," Sirius said. "I wish we went over more muggle media in muggle studies."

"Yeah, instead we have to learn all that from magazines or Remus," James sighed. "You're lucky you grew up around that stuff, Meadowes, I mean,  _toasters?"_

Dorcas couldn't hide her surprise. "You really think so? I was so clueless coming here, I can't imagine growing up with flying broomsticks and self-stirring cauldrons like you guys did."

"I think ideally you'd be like Moony and grow up with a little of both," Sirius said.

"Yeah, Emmeline is like that, too," Dorcas nodded. "People still give her a hard time about being half-blood, though."

"Yeah, Remus too," James said. "It's all rubbish, and muggle studies should be  _required,_  really, we've all got to blend in at some point."

"Well that's nice to hear," Dorcas said. "Sometimes you forget that not everyone that grew up with wizard parents isn't… well, horrible."

"Oh, my parents certainly tried," Sirius said.

"My family's always known that pureblood supremacy is rubbish. My parents both being 'pureblood' was a coincidence, really. Not sure how Sirius turned out okay, honestly, maybe your parents cancelled each other out," James said thoughtfully. "I mean they're cousins, something was bound to go wrong."

"Your parents are cousins?" Dorcas said, cocking a brow.

" _Toujours Pur,"_  Sirius said mockingly. "Every pureblood family is related somehow, there's not a lot of options anymore. I think James and are like, fifth cousins four times removed or something."

"Something like that," James said.

"That's… a mess. No offense," Dorcas said.

"No, it is," Sirius grinned. "And for what it's worth, we think it's rubbish you got detention over what Snivellus said."

"I mean, I  _did_  try to hex him first," Dorcas said.

"But he called you…  _you know,"_  James said. "Of course you tried to hex him."

"What spell did you use?" Sirius asked.

"Flipendo," Dorcas said, cringing slightly as James and Sirius groaned.

"That's first year stuff, Meadowes!" James said. "We'll have to put a list together for you."

"A list?" Dorcas said.

"Well, yeah, this isn't gonna be the first time someone is shitty to you, you should be able to properly turn their knees backwards if need be," Sirius said with a nod.

" _Why_  is that a spell? Who sat down one day and went, 'ah, you know what spell the world needs?'" Dorcas said, glancing down at her own knees and cringing at the thought.

"I don't know, but it's  _hilarious_  to use," James laughed. "Oh, and we'll give you the one that will make every spell they cast just produce ducks."

"Bat-bogey hex is a classic," Sirius added. "We've got you covered, Meadowes."

Dorcas shook her head, though she couldn't help the smile. Marlene and Emmeline had assured her that they believed her but kept flitting between her and Lily, and barely brought the incident up to avoid further conflict. Dorcas understood, and she didn't want to force anyone to take sides.

She hadn't spoken to Lily at all since the incident.

But it was nice to talk to people that found humor in it, and seemed to genuinely want to help, if in morally questionable ways.

"Thank you two, really," she said.

* * *

It was Monday. Marlene settled herself down across from Emmeline at the Ravenclaw table, grabbing a sandwich from a platter as the brunette scribbled away at an essay that was due after lunch.

"Lily's not with you?" Emmeline said, eyes still fixed on her essay, still needing another three inches before she could call it done.

"She was going to try to corner Dorcas and talk to her but looks like she's already here," Marlene said, glancing toward the Hufflepuff table where Dorcas was eating with her roommates again. Emmeline glanced over her shoulder to see.

"Oh, I didn't realize. They let us out of Herbology a little early so I got here before the food did and remembered that I didn't finish McGonagall's essay," she said. She turned back to her parchment.

"I told Lily that the 'Marauders,' Filch, and the Hufflepuffs know  _all_  of the secret passageways and she wouldn't be able to track her down, but she was adamant about getting to talk with her," Marlene shrugged. "She's probably still looking."

"Hm," Emmeline said noncommittally, taking a drink from her goblet.

"I mean, honestly, if she's not going to apologize there's no point," Marlene mumbled taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Right?" Emmeline said, her tones hushed. "I don't know what the deal is, I know she's been friends with Severus forever and I can sympathize with that but she can't honestly still think he's a good person, can she?"

"I told her that! She insists that we don't know him like she does and he's really not all that bad when you get to know him," Marlene said with a roll of the eye. "I'm sorry but if I have to get through layers and layers of grease and contempt to see if you're a good person, it's not worth it."

"Besides, I mean, it's obvious that the only reason he's not as shitty to her as the other muggleborns is that he has a crush on her," Emmeline said, casting a short glance toward the Slytherin table where Severus, with a few small boils still left over from James' most recent prank, was deep in a discussion with some of his housemates.

"She doesn't think he has a crush on her, she says I'm being ridiculous every time I bring it up," Marlene said.

"Oh come on, even  _I_  realized he had a crush on her," Emmeline said, cocking a brow.

Marlene nodded, plucking an apple from a bowl of fruit. "I know. But she figures that since she thinks of him as a brother, obviously he thinks of her as a sister. Nothing I tell her convinces her otherwise."

"I just don't get how you can willfully ignore so much about one person," Emmeline said.

"Denial is a hell of a drug, remember when Max dated Jessica, also known as the worst person to ever exist? We all told him that she was the absolute worst for two years before he walked in on her snogging his best friend and couldn't ignore how terrible she was anymore," Marlene said. "I just don't know what it'll take for Lily to realize that about Severus."

"You're gonna have to snog him," Emmeline nodded. "Take one for the team, Marly."

Marlene gagged. Emmeline giggled.

"I'm trying to  _eat,_  Em," Marlene said.

"Right, right, sorry. Really, though, I don't know what has to happen. He already mostly ignores her around his housemates, he's obviously some degree of embarrassed about her," Emmeline said. She was twirling her quill between her fingers, her essay forgotten for now.

"They've gotten into a bunch of arguments about his friends, I don't know why she hasn't figured out he's  _just like them_ ," Marlene said. "Except, you know, like I said, denial."

"Well, I hope she figures it out because it's weird having half the group not talking to each other because of Severus goddamn Snape," Emmeline said.

"I know it's so—" Marlene started before Emmeline suddenly cleared her throat very loudly.

Marlene cocked a brow and then turned to find Lily eying them curiously as she took a seat.

"You, uh, you were right, Dorcas slipped away from me before I had a chance to do anything," Lily said, eyes darting between Marlene and Emmeline. Marlene had taken a very large bite of her sandwich and Emmeline was hastily writing out another line to her essay. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Hm?" Marlene said innocently, still chewing. Emmeline shook her head.

Lily frowned. "Really? Because you seemed to be talking about  _something_  before I sat down, you shouldn't stop on my account."

Emmeline kept her eyes fixed on her essay, scratching out a word that she had misspelled far more thoroughly than she needed to. Marlene shrugged, finally swallowing her food.

"Nothing you don't already know," the blonde said simply.

"Do tell," Lily said, her plate still empty and her frown still fixed.

Emmeline met Marlene's gaze only briefly before looking back to her essay, very carefully re-writing the word she had just crossed out.

"Emmeline and I  _both_ ," Marlene said with emphasis, nodding toward the Ravenclaw, who was clearly determined not to actually voice any of this to Lily, "Think it's very silly for you and Dorcas to stop talking over Severus."

"I've been  _trying_  to talk to her," Lily said at once. "She's the one that won't talk to me!"

"Yeah, because you keep making excuses for him," Emmeline said under her breath.

"Right, exactly," Marlene nodded. "How would you feel if someone called you the M-Word and we kept telling  _you,_  'oh well maybe you misheard, I bet he didn't mean it'?"

"I thought you weren't taking sides," Lily mumbled, arms crossed.

"We're trying not to, but—" Emmeline started.

"You know, I'm not hungry," Lily said, standing up from the table. "See you later."

Emmeline and Marlene watched as Lily dashed out of the Great Hall, head forcibly held high as she went.

"Well, are  _we_  not talking to her now?" Emmeline asked.

"I don't know, I guess we'll see if she sits with us at dinner," Marlene sighed. "If she keeps this up, though, Severus is going to be her only 'friend' left."

* * *

It was early Wednesday morning when James woke Sirius and Peter and they approached Remus' bed, gently pulling back the curtains to reveal their friend curled beneath his blankets, deeply asleep.

At the count of three, they each yanked the side of the mattress upward, sending Remus spiraling to the floor, flailing in confusion as soon as he awoke.

" _Oh, it's the birthday git!"_  Peter sang.

" _He's looking rather fit!"_  James added.

" _Too bad he's so ancient!"_  belted Sirius.

" _Iiiiiiiit's the birthday git!"_  they all finished as Remus pulled himself and his blankets back atop the bed.

"I can't believe I forgot you idiots were going to do that," he said, rubbing his eyes and yawning hugely.

"That's part of the fun," James grinned.

"Fun for you guys maybe," Remus said with a roll of the eye.

"You had no objections when it was me being flung off my bed in November," Sirius pointed out.

Remus shrugged. "I was younger then; I was stupid. I did not consider that my birthday was next up."

"Soon, you too will gain the wisdom that comes with being the ripe old age of sixteen," Sirius said dramatically as he, James, and Peter went off to fetch their gifts for the boy.

"Ah yes, perhaps one day I will even be as wise as you, Padfoot," Remus smirked, stretching his arms above his head as he yawned again. Three wrapped gifts were dropped unceremoniously before Remus, leading him to at least hope they weren't anything breakable. He reached for James' gift first, tearing at the paper to reveal a book of advanced defensive spells.

"Wow, look at all this," Remus said, flipping through the pages, many of which had some gruesome diagrams.

"Apparently it's popular among Aurors in training," James said.

"Thank you," Remus said, still turning the pages. "Wow, this Patronus section has got to be fifty pages long! I wish we weren't in the middle of O.W.L.s, I'd have more time to really sit and read it."

"You make time for comics, you can make time for this," James shrugged.

Remus smiled sheepishly, finally setting the book aside. "I suppose that's true. It doesn't take very long to read a comic, though."

"It does when you come back here with a stack of them," Sirius said.

"Open mine, Moony," Peter said, bouncing on his heels slightly.

Remus took the gift with far sloppier wrapping and tore it open, revealing a comically large block of chocolate, with a note proclaiming that it was for the next full moon. "Thanks, Pete, I think this will actually last me the next  _five_  full moons, actually."

"I'm betting it will last two at the most," Peter countered, grinning.

James nodded. "You go through a lot of chocolate post-transforming, Moony."

"It'll last at least three, this is huge!" Remus said, testing the weight of the chocolate in his hands. "I guess it depends on how bad I feel."

"Then it'll last one full moon," Sirius said. Remus rolled his eyes, grabbing for the last gift, this one from Sirius. Unwrapping the paper revealed a plain white box, with "Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions" stamped on the top.

"New robes? How'd you know my size?" Remus said, opening the box and checking the tag.

"You're in the hospital wing every month, it wasn't hard to pluck one of your robes from the laundry," Sirius said. "Yours look like they're going to fall apart if you look at them wrong."

"Well, I got them second-hand in the first place," Remus said, sheepishly, running his hands over the new robes, the black much richer than the faded fabric on his old ones, the stitching much stronger.

"Well, now you've got new ones," Sirius nodded.

Remus smiled. "Thanks, Mate, I appreciate it." He reached into the pocket and his brow furrowed, feeling a package inside. He pulled it out to reveal a pack of cigarettes. He snorted. "There's the Sirius gift I expected."

Sirius grinned. "You're welcome."

* * *

Care of Magical Creatures would be back inside the usual classroom today, and the students would endure a lecture on the proper dietary habits of the unicorn, which they were repeatedly told would certainly be on the O.W.L.s.

Dorcas was not much looking forward to it, but she was not much looking forward to most of the classes she had with Lily anymore. It was so odd how such a short while ago, sitting with the other girl made certain classes far more bearable.

Now Lily just reminded the Hufflepuff of Severus Snape.

He was in that class too, he and all of his future-Death Eater pals.

This class used to be fun, regardless of who was in it. She got to learn about animals, sometimes even play with them! With some of her best friends!

Now it felt like a chore.

"Meadowes! There's our favorite Hufflepuff," James Potter said cheerfully, throwing an arm over Dorcas' shoulder. She wasn't sure where exactly he had come from, but Peter and Remus were close behind, heading for Care of Magical Creatures as well.

(Sirius had Ancient Runes during this hour, which meant that soon enough Emmeline would be trying to focus on her notes rather than his hair).

"I'm your  _favorite_  of  _all_  the Hufflepuffs, hm?" Dorcas said with a smile.

"Of course! Who else?" James said, handing her a folded piece of parchment.

Cocking a brow, Dorcas unfolded it and found a list of spells, along with brief wand movement descriptions and notes on what the spell did. "What are these?"

"We told you that we would get you some better spells than 'Flipendo,' didn't we?" James said.

Right! During detention! "Oh! I had forgotten! Well, thank you, I'll be sure to study these. The handwriting is awfully nice, who wrote it out?"

"Sirius did, his handwriting is almost unnervingly neat," Remus said with a short nod.

"Huh," Dorcas said, glancing from the parchment to Remus. "Are those new robes?"

"Oh, uh, yes," Remus said with a slight smile. "Birthday gift."

"Happy Birthday," Dorcas said.

"Thank you," said Remus. "Also, uh, use those spell with discretion."

"So you mean I shouldn't make Severus Snape, uh," Dorcas referenced the list again, "Inflate like a balloon just because I feel like it?"

"You  _absolutely_  should do that one," James said immediately.

"Although we're hoping to use it when the ice has thawed on the lake to see if he'll float," Peter said with a nod. Dorcas snorted.

"That's—that's  _very_  rude," she said, unable to hide her amusement in the least.

" _He's_  very rude," James shrugged. His hand went to his hair and he ruffled the mess of strands a bit before calling ahead, "All right, Evans?"

Dorcas' smile faded from her face as she glanced ahead. Lily barely cast a glance back at the group before sighing and heading into the classroom behind Marlene.

"Can I sit with you lot today?" Dorcas asked at once. She had been sitting in the front corner since she and Lily had stopped talking.

"Sure," Remus said.

"Although," James said, "You'll never fill the Sirius-shaped hole in our hearts that we feel whenever we have a class without him."

Dorcas found herself smiling again. "Oh, I don't intend to try."

* * *

His friends had insisted that no one would notice if he skipped out on patrols that night. It was his birthday! He hated patrol! Just ditch this one time!

But Remus missed enough patrol with his condition, making excuse after excuse to Frank every time that part of the lunar cycle returned. For now he was just glad that Emma Vanity hadn't decided to confront him about it, because he doubted his usual excuses would work on her.

So, he straightened his prefect's badge on his new robes and headed out to the deserted corridors, already bored as soon as he set foot there. Maybe if he was lucky, Peeves would do something tonight, spice things up a bit.

Remus sighed heavily, taking a seat on a nearby windowsill and glancing up at the moon, half illuminated and behind thin clouds. He had less than a week before his next transformation, and it felt as though he had only just recovered from the last one. Why did the rest of the month have to go so quickly?

His usual lamenting over the moon was interrupted by an echoing voice from down the corridor, soft and delicate.

" _Sweetheart I have grown so lonely, living thus away from you. For I love you and you only, still I wonder if you're true."_

He had  _just_  sat down, did someone  _really_  have to be out of bed right now?

As though pulling himself out of bed on an early morning, Remus forced himself reluctantly to stand upright. He stuck his hands in his pockets and trudged in the direction that the voice seemed to be coming from.

" _I regret the harsh words spoken, that I know I've caused you pain. And my heart is nearly broken, say you love me once again."_

The closer he got, the clearer the voice became. He didn't need to report this person at all, for if he weren't mistaken, it belonged to one specific prefect. His heart jumped into his throat as he turned the corner to find Emmeline with sheet music in hand, posture perfect as she absentmindedly walked, eyes fixed on the notes.

" _Absence makes the heart grow fonder, that is why I long for you,"_  she continued, having not noticed him yet.  _"Lonely through the night I ponder, wondering, darling, if you're true."_

Her voice was very pleasing to the ear, and there was a longing that breathed life into each word, forcing empathy in anyone that happened to hear, and Remus was no exception. It was easy to see why she had gotten a solo once again.

" _Distance only lends enchantment, though the—_ oh! Remus! H-how long have you been there?" Emmeline said suddenly, looking up from her sheet music. She had turned to avoid walking straight into a wall, causing the boy to land right in her line of vision.

"Not too long, rehearsing?" Remus said, forcing a nervous smile.

"Yeah, well, there's nothing  _else_  to do during patrols," Emmeline sighed.

"Well, you sounded nice," he said.

"Thank you," she said with a nervous smile.

"What song is it?"

" _Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder,_  it's an old, old muggle song. I think a few parents have actually complained to Flitwick about the muggle music in the programs but he won't budge, so," Emmeline said with a bit of a shrug. "It's short, at least, shorter than my Christmas solo."

"Well, you should be able to handle any song by this point, hm, Killer Queen?" Remus said.

She smiled. "I would hope. Oh, and, it's your birthday, isn't it? Happy Birthday."

"Thanks," Remus said, feeling heat creep up his neck at the fact that she would remember that. How did she know? When had it even come up?

When was  _her_  birthday? Should he know? James knew Lily's birthday, but he also knew Lily's middle name and favorite flavor of jam and none of the others were really clear on how he had learned that, but they suspected that the invisibility cloak had  _something_  to do with it.

"Anything planned?" Emmeline asked.

"Well, I mean, my parents sent me a card and a few galleons, the guys gave me a few gifts, that's good enough for me," Remus said. The fact that he had friends that remembered and cared enough to actually get him something still boggled his mind sometimes. "Can't do much else during classes anyway."

Emmeline nodded. "My birthday is right after Christmas, so it always gets a little overshadowed by that, but at least I never have class."

"Well, happy… three-months-late birthday," Remus said with yet another nervous smile.

Sometimes he longed for the days when being around and talking to Emmeline didn't make his heart race the way it did.

"Thank you," she laughed slightly. She folded her sheet music and set it into the inner pocket of her robes.

"Oh, if you want me to get lost so you can rehearse some more—" Remus started, feeling the heat rush to his face again as he wondered if perhaps his presence had thrown off her entire plan for the night.

She shook her head. "Oh, no, I've rehearsed enough, you're fine."

"Oh, good," Remus said.

"Actually, I know this is off-topic, but have you talked to Lily recently?"

"Not really, why?" Remus asked, cocking a brow.

Emmeline frowned. "She hasn't said much to Marlene and I the last few days. She'll sit with us at dinner but it's mostly me and Marlene talking."

"Is it still the whole thing with Snape and Dorcas?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, and I mean, Marlene and I are  _trying_  not to take one side or the other but when one side has someone calling your friend a you-know-what, it's kind of hard," Emmeline said, shaking her head a bit. "I don't know, I don't know what to do with it."

Remus shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know. I got really mad at Sirius last year and James and Peter just declared themselves Switzerland and didn't really talk to either of us until we sorted it out."

It occurred to Remus that Severus Snape had been involved in that argument as well, as Sirius had sent the boy through the passage under the Whomping Willow.

He briefly wondered if maybe their time at Hogwarts would be less stressful without Severus Snape around. Would James and Sirius be in detention any less, or would they simply pick a new target?

He made a mental note not to mention this to James, or the boy's new goal would be to get Snape expelled somehow. With Snape already praying for James' expulsion, he could only imagine what would happen if they were both actively trying to get the other kicked out.

"I don't know if they will sort it out," Emmeline said. "I hope they do. I mean, I like our group, Merlin knows I'd have a hard time finding a new one."


	41. I Didn't Get Laid, I Got In A Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Slightly late chapter because I wound up redoing bits of this that I was not happy with. I think it works out much better now, let me know what you think!

" _Someone else come to give you dirty looks over the points you've lost?"_

" _Curious. They usually stick to regular business hours."_

* * *

 

The trophy room was intimidating. Mary hadn't spent a lot of time here previously, uninterested in the names of every head boy and girl to attend Hogwarts and more concerned with the current Quidditch standings than who might have won the cup in 1732.

But when Marlene had mentioned Glynnis Griffith, the muggleborn seeker for the Holyhead Harpies, and the fact that she had once been captain of the Gryffindor team, well, Mary couldn't help but rush through her post-practice shower and head straight for the sixth floor where the trophy room was situated.

Dropping her bag with her Quidditch robes and books near the entrance, she searched the shelves for anything Quidditch-related. she finally found a long sections of plaques proclaiming the winners of the Quidditch cup each year, along with the name of the captain and their position.

Mary hunted around until she found Emma Vanity's name, twice in a row for the last two school years, before beginning to work backwards from there.

Had Glynnis Griffith ever won the cup? Marlene hadn't mentioned as much.

Mary grinned, finding her name beside the year 1950, her finger lingering near the engraved name and heart racing. Glynnis Griffith! She had been where Mary was now, seeker for her house Quidditch team, and had gone on to be not only captain, but to join a professional team!

Mary didn't know why it meant so much to her. She didn't know why she felt such a strong kinship to the woman she had never met, who had been on the house team long before Mary was born. But she was beginning to think she would stop by the trophy room more often, just to look at this name.

She had been staring at the name for perhaps half a minute before footsteps echoed in the room, and she turned to find Anthony Mulciber walking inside, having picked up her bag from where she left it. Clifford Rosier was at his heel, snickering.

"Aw, well, if it isn't Gryffindor's star Mudblood," Mulciber said with a sneer. Mary stepped over and reached to take her bag, only for Mulciber to jerk it out of her reach.

"Give me my bag," she said, trying to urge herself not to cry at being called a Mudblood again. Now was not the time.

"If you're such a grand seeker," Mulciber said taking out his wand and hovering her bag above her head. "Then get it, Mudblood."

Mary was rather short. The bag was hovering near the ceiling. She didn't have her broom with her, having left it with Douglas who offered to polish the handle when he worked on his later tonight.

"Stop being such an asshole and just give me back my bag," Mary said, not even attempting to reach it, knowing full well that she would fail.

"Aw, not going to try, Mudblood?" Rosier cooed, condescending.

"Come on, reach for it, Mudblood," Mulciber said, lowering the bag just slightly. She grabbed for the strap and he quickly jerked it away, her fingers barely brushing against it. "Jump for it."

"Cut it out, give it back!" Mary said, pulling out her own wand. This just left Mulciber and Rosier laughing.

"Oh, what are you going to do to us, ickle third year Mudblood?" Rosier taunted.

"You'd never be able to do any real damage. You'll never be able to do anything. Do you think you'll ever end up in here? A Mudblood like you? That's a laugh," Mulciber said, amusement on his face the entire time.

"I think we should help her out, if she wants to be part of the trophy room so bad," Rosier said with a grin.

"Oh, I agree," Mulciber said, finally dropping Mary's bag, which she swiftly caught. She began to head toward the doorway, unwilling to see where exactly they were going with this line of thinking.

She didn't make it that far, however, before Mulciber called out a spell she was unfamiliar with and she was dragged backwards, slamming into a nearby shelf of trophies with such force that she couldn't help but cry out in pain at the impact. The trophies on the shelf began to fall, dozens upon dozens of small cups and statues. When they hit her, it was with more than the force of gravity, but with an additional, scorching heat. When she glanced at the sleeve of her sweater, words that had been engraved on a plaque for special services to the school were burned in reverse onto the fabric, still smoking from the brief contact.

Mary scrambled to her feet, determined to get away, but found herself blasted back into another shelf, covering her head as burning trophies fell upon her again. Her wand flew from her hand shortly after.

"What's the matter, Mudblood?" Mulciber called over the sound of the trophies falling. "I thought you wanted to be part of the trophy room!"

* * *

The Hufflepuff and Gryffindor match was on Saturday, which meant alongside having even less of a chance to talk to Dorcas, Lily hadn't seen much of Marlene either. Granted, this would be the case regardless of any arguments, but it still felt rather lonely.

Lily sat in the library at a table with Emmeline, who was very focused on her star chart, brow furrowed and eyes fixed. She had said a simple, "yeah, sure," when Lily asked if she wanted to get some homework done in the library after classes and they hadn't talked much on the way.

Emmeline wasn't the most talkative of the group in the first place but her silence seemed much more apparent recently. Marlene had exceedingly less to say as well. No one wanted to bring up Dorcas around her, she could tell. No one wanted to fight about it.

But they had all been friends for years. Everything could potentially lead back to Dorcas.

Quidditch came back to Dorcas. Classes came back to Dorcas. Music came back to Dorcas.

Emmeline set her quill down and rubbed at her eyes. "I think this star chart is as good as it's going to get," she whispered.

Lily glanced over. It seemed like the star chart was complete, as far as she could tell. Emmeline had notated everything that she was supposed to.

"Looks good," Lily nodded.

"Hey, has Marlene mentioned Benjamin to you at all recently?" Emmeline asked.

Marlene hadn't mentioned much of anything to Lily recently. Still, the redhead shook her head.

"Hm. You think they're doing okay?" Emmeline wondered aloud.

"I don't know. I feel like she disappears to snog him about as much as ever," Lily shrugged.

Emmeline nodded. "Yeah. They're probably fine."

The girls fell into silence, their neutral topic of discussion fizzling out as quickly as it had been introduced. Emmeline rolled up her star chart carefully.

Lily looked down at her charms essay, which just needed a conclusion paragraph and then it would more than meet the length requirement. She hadn't been able to come up with a proper way to complete the essay in the last five minutes, however, her mind drifting elsewhere every time she tried.

Emmeline set her essay back in her bag before reaching over to close her astronomy book. "Well, um. Dinner's going to start soon. I was gonna drop my bag off at the tower and maybe practice my guitar for at least a few minutes before it starts. Are you gonna stick around here?"

"Nah, I'll come back to this later," Lily said, beginning to roll up her essay as well. Maybe by the time she walked back to the dorm, she would have cleared her head enough to actually complete this essay.

The two girls carefully packed their ink and quills before sliding their bags over their shoulders and exiting the library. They still had quite the walk to get to the seventh floor, where they would part ways to go to their respective towers.

"So, David Bowie is going to be in London in May," Emmeline said as they started up the grand staircase.

"When in May?" Lily asked.

"He's going to be there from the third to the eighth," Emmeline replied. "Which means I've got options."

"You're not thinking of going? We have class, we'll have revisions," Lily said.

"We'll always have class and revisions, it's David Bowie," Emmeline said. "Besides, the concert will be at night."

"And how do you intend to get to London, the train? It'll take all day," Lily said.

"The Knight Bus goes to Hogsmeade, I can take that," Emmeline said. "I suppose that means you don't want to go?"

"Let me know what day it is, it would be better if it wasn't a school night," Lily said. She wasn't as big a David Bowie fan as Emmeline was (she doubted anyone could compete with Emmeline on that front) but he certainly put on an entertaining show. "And we'll have to sneak out either way."

"It can't be that hard. And we're prefects, who'll stop us?" Emmeline said.

"Way to abuse your privileges," Lily smiled.

"For David Bowie, I'll abuse any and all pr—"

Emmeline was cut off by a sudden shriek. Several crashes followed. Emmeline and Lily exchanged glances.

"It came from this floor," Lily said, turning around and heading back down the stairs to the landing they had just passed. Emmeline followed close behind, both girls pulling out their wands as they went.

They sped up to a run when another shriek filled the corridor, their footsteps echoing with the cries.

They arrived at the trophy room to find Mary MacDonald curled up on the floor, several of the trophies around her glowing red with heat, scorch marks on her clothes.

Standing across from her was a cackling Anthony Mulciber, his wand pointed at her, along with and equally amused Rosier.

" _Expelliarmus!"_  Emmeline called at once but Mulciber was faster, and her spell bounced back at her, knocking her into the nearby shelf, singeing her robes and knocking over several awards. Rosier caught her wand.

"You'd think the daughter of a whore would be better with a wand," Rosier tsked.

"Wands down! What's wrong with you?" Lily said, raising her wand and standing protectively in front of Mary's form.

"I'm not afraid of you, Evans, give me your best shot," Mulciber challenged. "Two mudbloods and one halfbreed aren't going to do any damage to us, especially if only one of you has a wand.

Mulciber held up Mary's wand, casually twirling it between his fingers.

Lily's eyes darted between the two Slytherins as Emmeline stood beside her, acting as a second shield for Mary.

"Hey Fuckface, why don't you pick on someone your own size?" came a familiar voice to their right, and through the other entrance came Dorcas, wand at the ready.

"Oh, do you mean you? Because I'd have to gain about a hundred pounds to be  _your_  size, Meadowes," Mulciber snickered.

" _Ventus!"_  Dorcas yelled, and a powerful gust of wind slammed Mulciber against the shelves on the opposite wall, more awards crashing loudly to the floor.

"Unica existente!" Mulciber said, quickly recovering. He missed Dorcas, however, and Lily winced as the side of her cheek stung and the smell of burning hair reached her nose

" _Vermiculus!"_

" _Spica!"_

" _Fununculus!"_

" _Oppungo!"_

The spells kept flying. Rosier's robes turned into worms that squirmed and slid around the floor. Emmeline dove out of the way of a large plaque that was hurled at her. Mulciber dodged a spell sent by Lily, which left a trophy behind him growing spikes. Boils began to erupt on Dorcas' hand, though her grip on her wand remained strong.

"Hey, hey! Who decided to throw a party and not invite us, then?"

The dueling group turned to find James Potter, hair still damp from showering after practice, and Sirius Black standing in the doorway. Mary remained where she was, raising her head but slightly to see the newcomers.

Emmeline seemed to decide to take this moment of distraction to do what was perhaps the stupidest thing she possibly could do at that moment, and throw her entire body weight at the unsuspecting Rosier, knocking him to the ground.

Spells began flying again, Mulciber against James, Lily, and Dorcas as Sirius ducked spells to reach Rosier and Emmeline, wrestling on the floor for Emmeline's wand.

"You absolute wanker, give it back!" she said, her fingernails digging into his hand that held her wand so tightly. Rosier's own wand had been discarded in the fall and he wad busy trying to shove her away with his free hand. His hand slid around her throat as he tried to force her away.

" _Anteoculatia!"_  Sirius called and Rosier released his grip on Emmeline's throat and her wand in order to grab at his head, which was rapidly growing horns. Emmeline grabbed for her wand and Sirius yanked her upright by the back of her robes.

James shoved Lily into Dorcas and a gash appeared in his arm as he did so, blood seeping into the sleeve of his sweater.

" _Genu transuerso!"_  James called in response and Mulciber fell to the floor, his knees suddenly turned backwards.

"See, it's useful!" Sirius said to Dorcas, gesturing at Mulciber, who was having a very hard time standing up.

Unfortunately, Rosier had returned to his feet and was now back in possession of his own wand. He didn't aim for any of them, but rather at the top shelf of scalding hot trophies behind them, blasting away the beams supporting it.

Mary was still crouched and trembling beneath them, already burned from earlier attacks. Lily knew a spell that would stop the falling trophies from hitting her, but in that moment she couldn't remember it, and simply dived forward.

She collided with James, who had done the same, both of them throwing their bodies over Mary. Their skulls collided painfully as they landed, forcing the younger girl further onto the ground as the trophies began to hit them, leaving burns and bruises behind. Thankfully only three or four each hit them before Emmeline's cry of _"Immobulus!"_ left the rest floating in midair.

James recovered quicker than Lily did, pointing his wand directly at Rosier and shouting,  _"Engorgio Skullis!"_

Unfortunately for Rosier, Sirius had chosen that exact moment to cast  _"Entomorphis."_  This resulted first in Rosier's head taking on the appearance of a fly's (still with the earlier horns Sirius had given him, strange enough), and then having his new fly-head begin to swell rapidly.

Still on the floor, Mulciber cast a spell that blasted Sirius back against a now-empty shelf, and dodged a hex sent by Dorcas.

" _Enough!"_  came a stern cry and McGonagall stormed into the trophy room, Flitwick at her heel. With a few quick waves of the wand, all the students before them were disarmed at once, the professors each gripping a handful of wands.

The students fell silent, save for Mary's whimperin and Rosier's odd squeaking as he pawed at his ever-growing head.

"Fillius, get Madam Promfrey, we'll be needing some stretchers," McGonagall said. The smaller Professor immediately set off to complete this task. McGonagall's eyes ran over each of them, a fire in her eye as she went, with broken glass, blood, and burns in every direction. "What on earth is going on here?"

Everyone began yelling at once, Mulciber pointing an accusatory finger at Lily, James, Sirius, Emmeline, and Dorcas, who were doing the same to him.

"QUIET!" McGonagall called, and the students immediately obeyed, shrinking slightly at her tone. She sighed deeply. "You are all going to the hospital wing, and then I will speak to you all individually."

* * *

Lily sat on a chair in the hospital wing, the burn on her face long since healed and a potion applied to the burns and bruises on her back, which would stop stinging by morning. Madam Promfrey was wrapping Dorcas' hand in a bandage nearby and Lily kept glancing that way.

Dorcas hadn't hesitated to join in their side of the fight. What did this mean when it came to their friendship?

"Do you think they'll take our badges for this?" Emmeline whispered from the seat beside Lily, her minor burns already treated as well. Promfrey had healed cuts on Rosier's wrist and it was only when the mediwitch had mentioned them that Emmeline had realized with horror that there was dried blood beneath her fingernails.

Her look of terror hadn't gone unnoticed by Professor Flitwick, who had taken her aside to get her account of what happened immediately after.

"I don't know," Lily said. She hadn't considered that. "They'll write our parents for sure."

What would her parents think of the safe haven of Hogwarts when they got word that their daughter was caught dueling in the trophy room?

Across from them, in chairs against the opposite wall, sat Sirius and James, speaking in hushed tones to each other, James' arm in a bandage and their burns and bruises treated.

Rosier was lying in a cot a bit further down the row, his head back to normal and bandages around his wrist. Mulciber was in the seat beside him, his knees back the proper way.

Mary MacDonald was in another bed, far from the Slytherins, having suffered far worse burns than they had initially seen. The ends of her hair were uneven, having been burnt as well, and Sirius had assured her that he could fix it as soon as they were free to go.

Each Head of House was there, along with Professor Dumbledore, all mumbling near the door to one another now that they had heard everyone's account of what had happened.

They had heard Mary's account only when she had calmed down enough to say it.

It was sick. It was dark magic, as far as Lily was concerned, for there was no other reason to heat metal to that degree, not when there were welding spells that made metal at room-temperature pliable.

Mulciber and Avery had downplayed it, claiming that the heating spells had  _not_  been cast by them, and the whole thing had been a joke. A prank. They insisted they never called Mary any slurs.

Promfrey finished with Dorcas and walked to where the professors were talking, eager to find out more about why on earth she had suddenly gotten so many patients from the same incident.

Dorcas cast Lily and Emmeline only a brief glance before walking over to take a seat in the empty chair beside James.

"I'll never hear the end of it if I lose my badge," Emmeline said, still in a whisper. "Dad kept going on and on about how good it would look on a resume and I  _had to take it seriously_ , and I had to take  _initiative_ , and now he's going to find out I clawed at another student to try and get my wand back."

"Yeah, well, if my parents find out students are assaulting other students they might just pull me out of school entirely," Lily whispered back, her frown deepening.

"Do you think the fact that we were trying to help Mary will help us at all? Or will they punish all of us the same because we were  _all_  dueling?" Emmeline asked.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. I'd like to think they'd care about our intent."

Before they could discuss it further, Professor Dumbledore stepped forward, in the center of the entire group, which fell silent at his presence.

"I would like to start by saying, to the prefects here, I am very disappointed. You are meant to set a good example for our younger students, and instead you resorted to cruel spells rather than informing a professor of the incident. However, I understand that circumstances must be taken into account, and often times one must act in the moment," Dumbledore said, looking directly at Lily and Emmeline, each of them finding it difficult to look him in the eye. "You did what you could in the moment to protect another student, and I acknowledge and respect that. Understand we will still have to punish you for the dueling that occurred."

Lily and Emmeline nodded immediately.

"Mr. Mulciber, however, it has been decided by Professor Slughorn and myself that you will lose your prefect privileges. You will turn in your badge when we are through here, and Slytherin house will have to live with only Miss Flint as their fifth year prefect for the remainder of the school year."

Mulciber immediately began to protest but Dumbledore ignored him, carrying on, speaking louder to be heard above him. "It has been decided that Mr. Mulciber and Mr. Rosier will be receiving a month's detention, starting tomorrow, and will be losing two-hundred points a piece for a despicable display of behavior. These detentions will include full days on Saturday and Sunday. I believe Mr. Filch has plenty of work for you, starting with the damage done to the trophy room. You are both also forbidden from interacting with Miss MacDonald further, and I will be sure that this is enforced."

Rosier joined in Mulciber's outburst and arguing.

"—Absolutely ridiculous!—"

"—I'm writing to my parents immediately!—"

"—You're a hack, old man, a hack!—"

"—You shouldn't be here, you have no business running a school!—"

Again, Dumbledore simply ignored them, turning to the others.

"As for the rest of you," the old man said. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Miss Meadowes, Miss Evans, and Miss Vance. Each of you will lose fifty points from your respective houses for dueling. You will each receive two weeks detention, starting tomorrow, including full days on Saturday and Sunday—"

"But the match!" James, Mary, and Dorcas each said at once, eyes wide.

"I'm afraid your teams will have to make due without you, Mr. Potter and Miss Meadowes," Dumbledore said with a sigh.

"The game's on  _Saturday,_  that's not enough time to train an alternate!" Sirius said.

"If neither Hufflepuff, nor Gryffindor can find a suitable replacement in time, the game will simply be cancelled," Professor Sprout said, looking rather disappointed at the notion as well.

"You can't have a match with a keeper that's been trained for a few days on one team and two-thirds of the capable chasers on the other! What the hell kind of match is that?" James said.

"Mr. Potter, you should have thought about that before dueling on school grounds  _again,"_  McGonagall said, arms crossed before her. "Miss Evans and Miss Vance were at least trying to contain the situations as prefects, you, Mr. Black, and Miss Meadows did not need to get involved at all."

"Come  _on_ , McG," James said pleadingly.

"This isn't fair! This is all because of those two idiots, and if anything it's just going to  _help_  Slytherin win the Quidditch Cup!" Dorcas said, gesturing toward Rosier and Mulciber.

"It is unfortunate timing," Dumbledore said.

"It's rubbish," Sirius mumbled.

"You have all received your punishments," Dumbledore said. "Those of you well enough to leave the hospital wing may do so. I believe dinner is still in progress, and I certainly know that I would like to have some pudding after all this."

The man began walking for the door, the heads of house close behind as the student began getting up.

"I'm so sorry, James," Mary said, looking to be on the verge of tears again.

"What for? It's not your fault!" James said, casting Mulciber a dirty look as the boy stormed past, Rosier confined to the hospital bed for the night. "It's their fault."

"But if I hadn't gone to the trophy room, maybe—" Mary started.

"No, don't," Dorcas said, shaking her head. "They had it out for you, they probably would have cornered you anywhere. It is never your fault that someone else decided to attack you, okay?"

Mary swallowed, but nodded.

"We're gonna teach you a thing or two about hexing, too, MacDonald. After I fix your hair," Sirius said, ruffling the girl's locks slightly, prompting a smile from her.

"Thanks," she said. She turned to Lily and Emmeline. "Thank you two, too. For coming to help me right away."

"Of course," Lily said. Emmeline nodded.

The group headed for the door, James, Sirius, and Mary immediately heading for the staircase to head to dinner. Dorcas didn't get far after them before Lily spoke.

"Wait, Dorcas," the redhead said.

"What?" Dorcas said, barely glancing her way.

"You helped us, and it means a lot, and maybe we should talk about—" Lily started.

"I was helping Mary," Dorcas said simply. "Muggleborns have to  _look out for_   _each other."_

The bitterness in her tone could not be mistaken. She turned her heel and quickened her pace to catch up with James, Sirius, and Mary, leaving Lily looking defeated beside Emmeline.

"She's still mad at me," Lily said softly. "I thought… maybe…"

"Um… do you, uh, want to go eat?" Emmeline said, clearly unsure of what else to say.

"I'm not hungry."

* * *

Marlene would not sit still. She was pacing the dormitory, hair still damp, hazel eyes wide. Gwen was sitting on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. Inez was helping herself to a chocolate frog while she watched Marlene pace.

Lily was lying on her stomach on her bed, chin resting in her hand, eyes unfocused as Marlene spoke.

"First of all, you lot got into a duel! Without me! How in the hell did you get into a duel without me? It's inconsiderate is what it is, Lily."

"You were still taking your post-practice shower, I imagine," Lily said.

"And you said Emmeline tackled Rosier? I can't believe I wasn't there to see it! I'm  _livid!_  Why can't I shower in peace without worrying that I'm going to  _miss_  something like this?" Marlene said.

"This is  _not_  the main issue here, the main issue is that our bloody  _captain_  got involved and now we're down a chaser!" Gwen said with a groan, head still in her hands. "Even if we get an alternate, James knows all the plays! He's got the best scoring average of all of us!"

"I would think the main issue would be that the Slytherins were trying to brand your seeker," Inez said.

"Well, I mean, yeah, that too, but Mary's not gonna miss the game. If there's a game at all," Marlene said with a heavy sigh. "Quidditch was all that was keeping us in the running for the house cup."

"We were never going to get the cup this year," Lily said. With the points taken today, there was hardly anything left in Gryffindor's hourglass. Now only Slytherin had less. "Not between Remus, Frank, and Alice arguing with MacPherson all the time and Potter and Black's usual detentions."

"Okay, but what gets me is that you shouldn't have gotten detention at all! You were there defending Mary, it's not like you were dueling for the sake of dueling!" Marlene said.

"Dueling unless part of curriculum or a school-sponsored demonstration is against the rules, Dumbledore couldn't make an exception for us," Lily said. "I mean, we might have had a leg to stand on if we had just been using shield charms instead of anything offensive."

"We've barely gone over shield charms," Gwen said with a groan.

"Well, good thing we're not in the middle of a war or something where it might make a real difference," Marlene scowled.

"Flitwick went over the theory," Lily said weakly.

"Yeah a lot of good that does us," Inez mumbled. "I'll show the Death Eaters my essay, that'll change their mind about killing me. 'Ah, well, she gets average grades, best not bother her.'"

"He said it never comes up on the practical exam, just the written exam," Lily said, feeling the need to defend the small professor. "Usually he goes over them more in-depth in the N.E.W.T.s classes."

"Fuck O.W.L.s, fuck N.E.W.T.s, we would need to know this even if there wasn't a war going on! Do you know how many women get violently, sexually assaulted when there's  _not_  a war? We need to know this shit," Marlene said. "And you lot shouldn't have gotten punished because you were using the spells you  _did_  know to protect a thirteen-year-old from some wankers that couldn't handle that she was a muggleborn  _and_  good at Quidditch."

Marlene was pacing again. The others had gone silent at her exclamations, none of them making eye contact with the others.

Lily wondered if the other girls were playing out in their heads what on earth they would do if they were cornered by someone meaning to do them harm.

"Fuck it, I want to go to the library! I want to look up every shield charm there is! Right now!" Marlene said.

"The library closes in ten minutes, it'll be locked by the time you get there," Inez said, glancing at the clock on her bedside table.

"We don't need  _you_  getting detention for being out past curfew," Gwen added.

"Well now I understand why the Ravenclaws are always campaigning for the library to be open twenty-four hours," Marlene said with a groan. "This shouldn't be something we need to get into an advanced class to learn."

"Well, I guess we'll have to wait until morning to do something about it," Lily shrugged.

Marlene sighed heavily and glanced toward Lily, as though hoping the redhead would provide some other solution to this sudden urge of hers to go to the library.

"No. We'll do the next best thing," the blonde said at once, gesturing for Lily to follow as she headed for the door.

* * *

"I mean, we could use Schnell as an alternate, I guess," James was saying, mostly to himself at this point as scribbled notes on a piece of parchment.

"You'd be better off sending Gwen and Wanda out there on their own, at least they'd work with each other," Sirius said from the doorway of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand.

"We have to have seven players at the start of the game," James said. "If we lose some people along the way, that's fine, but we can't show up without the full team, it's a forfeit and Hufflepuff wins by default."

"Well, what if Hufflepuff doesn't get a replacement keeper, you put Schnell in just to have the numbers, and you guys win by default?" Remus asked, seeming mere seconds away from sleep. The full moon was the next night and he was determined not to go to the hospital wing before he absolutely had to.

"You only get fifty points if you win by forfeit," Peter said. "Hufflepuff is way behind, McKinnon won't want to do that, they'll put in a rubbish keeper before they forfeit."

"So it's either forfeit or put the next-best person that tried out on the team and pray it doesn't end in disaster," James said.

"And that's Schnell, so it will," Sirius said.

"If you hadn't gotten detention with me, I'd just stick you on the team. You're decent, at least," James said, gesturing to Sirius.

"Well you can't make contingency plans based on me not getting detention with you, Prongs," Sirius said.

"What if you put Schnell on the team and tell Lawrence or Douglas to just knock him out as soon as possible?" Peter suggested.

"You can't take a hit out on one of your own players," Remus said, propping a pillow beneath his head as he yawned hugely.

"Why not?" Sirius said, setting his toothbrush to his teeth at last.

"No, Moony is probably right," James said with a heavy sigh. He paused, then lit up. "Hey, what if I put  _you_  on the team? Just stay out of the way and let Gwen and Wanda do the work."

"What, me?" Remus said, eying James in surprise. "I am  _not_  going out here in front of all those people. Besides, they'd still be up against three chasers. And what if they  _did_  throw me the Quaffle?  _And_  I'll still be recovering from the full moon, I can't practice!"

"Fucking aye, I'm gonna have to put Eric Fucking Schnell on the team," James groaned.

"There's no one else?" Peter said.

"He was the next best person that tried out," James said, setting his notes aside. "If we want a chance at this, we have to—"

There were several loud bangs at the door to their dorm, drawing all their attention at once.

"Someone else come to give you dirty looks over the points you've lost?" Peter questioned.

Sirius spit into the sink. "Curious. They usually stick to regular business hours."

James pulled himself to his feet and stepped over various school bags, pairs of jeans, books, and magazines to get to the door and pull it open. His hand immediately went to his hair when he found Lily on the other side, accompanied by Marlene, with Gwen and Inez behind them.

"Ladies," James said in an obvious attempt to sound suave, flashing them a grin. "How may I help you this fine evening?"

There was a sharp  _click_  as the bathroom door shut behind him, and the sound of the lock sliding into place. James glanced back only briefly to confirm that Sirius had retreated, likely to avoid Marlene.

"You can't. We're here for Remus," Marlene said, stepping past James with Lily at her heel.

" _I_  came to talk to you about what you're going to do about the game," Gwen said, prodding James in the chest with her index finger.

"I'm just here because everyone else was coming," Inez shrugged, looking around the dorm curiously.

"Er, what's up?" Remus said nervously, forcing himself to sit upright as Lily and Marlene approached him.

"Shield charms," Marlene said immediately.

"What about them?" Remus said.

"We need to learn them, and Flitwick won't go over them until N.E.W.T.s and MacPherson sure as hell won't teach us," Lily said. "You managed to teach us Patronuses—"

"Yeah, without any dementors present," Remus said immediately.

"Shield charms can't be  _that_ hard, can they?" Marlene said.

"Well I mean there's a difference between casting a shield charm at all and casting one worth a damn," Remus explained. "Besides, we're already behind the curriculum because I went over patronuses and I  _am_  supposed to be teaching you guys what we're supposed to be learning in class. I can't go  _too_  far off-base."

"Come on, Lupin, this is actual, useful stuff," Marlene said.

"We need to know  _defensive_  spells," Lily said. "All we had to work with today was offense."

"That is an excellent point, Evans, truly," James said. Lily jumped slightly having not realized that he had stood in the spot beside her.

"I mean, I can try to fit them in," Remus said, rubbing the side of his head, still quite exhausted. "Or, Alice does the study groups for sixth year, maybe she would show us. I'll mention it to her the next time we have a meeting about the study groups."

"Duh, Alice! We should have gone straight to her! No offense, Remus," Marlene said.

"None taken, she's been on about being an Auror for years," Remus said with a slight smile.

"She's probably upstairs," Peter said, gesturing to the ceiling. "She's been bunking with the seventh year boys."

"Yeah we've caught her leaving in the morning a handful of times, she and Frank are not subtle," James snorted.

"Oh, well, I'd hate to interrupt them," Marlene said. She sighed. "I guess we'll have to talk to her tomorrow..."

"Great, great, but what about Quidditch?" Gwen demanded of James.

The smile that had been playing at James' face ever since Lily had arrived faded. "We're gonna have to put Schnell on the team."

 _"Eric Schnell?_  Are you mad?" Gwen said immediately.

"Why don't we just put a niffler on a broom? It would be more of a team player," Marlene groaned.

"Look, there were only two people at try-outs that made two of their three attempts to score past Marlene. Gwen and Schnell," James said. "I don't like it, I don't like it at  _all_  but it's our only option that makes any sense."

"Why can't we just reschedule the match?" Gwen said.

"They won't reschedule because your captain got detention," Remus said.

"Are you feeling all right, Lupin? You look like shit," Marlene said, as though she had just taken notice.

" _Thank you,"_  Remus said sarcastically. "And no, I am not feeling well, I might miss class tomorrow."

"Look, I'm gonna miss half the  _practices_ , never mind the match, with all these detentions they're gonna have us doing," James said, bringing the conversation back to Quidditch. "So, in my absence, Marlene's in charge. She'll whip him into shape as best as we can hope."

"Wait, me?" Marlene said, eyes wide.

"You and I joined at the same time, with me gone, you've been on the team the longest," James said.

"But what about… you know…" Marlene said, gesturing to the door, behind which Sirius was.

"We already hung your knickers from the flag pole," James said, waving away her concerns. "If there's anyone else that can intimidate Eric Schnell into being a team player, it's you, so figure it out. I'll tell him in the morning."

"But I'm not captain material! They made you captain because all I do is pick on the captain!" Marlene said at once.

"You'll be a fine captain," Lily said immediately. "You know everything there is to know about Quidditch."

"And you  _are_  scary when you feel like it," Inez nodded.

"Oh, this is a lot at once," Marlene mumbled.

"Well, let's go back to our room and figure out practice then, I'll help you," Gwen said, taking Marlene by the arm and heading for the door to exit the dorm.

"Feel better, Remus," Lily said gently before following. Inez bid them farewell and closed the door behind her.


	42. Match Your Eyes, Jealous and Hypnotized

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And late chapter! I know! I can't remember if I've mentioned before, I probably have, but I work a full-time job that I don't really like at a position that's not creatively stimulating at all. It makes it super hard to sit and write by the time I get home, which is why this is late. Also, my internet was just not working today for a good chunk of the evening. Anyway, chapter's up now, let me know what you think!

_“Please move over there. I had thought separating Mr. Potter and Mr. Black would be sufficient, but apparently I was mistaken.”_

* * *

 

Alice Orpington was at the Gryffindor table, comfortably beside Frank, as had become their routine lately. In order to avoid any taunting or awkward, knowing glances that would result from Alice sneaking out of Frank's dorm room in the morning, they had been getting up much earlier than their peers.

Alice would sneak back to her dorm to get ready while Frank stayed behind and did the same, as quietly as possible. They would leave the common room just as most of their housemates were waking up, and were always among the first to the great hall for breakfast.

It was always quiet and peaceful, at least for a little while. They often discussed how nice it would be when they both were done with school and could move in together. They'd have quiet, peaceful mornings all the time.

Well, until they started having children, surely that would disturb the quiet, especially since they would like at least two.

Speaking of children disturbing the quiet.

"Alice!" Marlene McKinnon said, commanding attention in a way that Marlene never had a problem achieving. She appeared shortly after her voice, plopping down across from Alice, with Lily close behind.

"Morning," Alice said, setting aside the flash cards she had been using to help Frank study for his upcoming potions test. He had been studying all week; surely a break would be fine.

Lily sat down beside Marlene. "Morning," the redhead said.

"What do you know about shield charms?" Marlene said, diving straight into the point.

"They're… charms you use to shield yourself?" Alice said, brow furrowed.

"Why?" Frank asked.

"We need to know shield charms," Marlene said. "Look at the mess Lily got into. Look at the papers. We need to know, but it's a N.E.W.T.s level spell, Flitwick only goes over the  _theory_  with us in fifth year."

"So we thought maybe you could help," Lily said, offering Alice a winning smile.

"Oh!" Alice said, eyes wide. "Oh, I hadn't thought of that at all, I mean, I taught myself ages ago. We  _did_  only start going over it this year, didn't we?"

"You know, I can  _also_  cast a shield charm—" Frank started.

"Mary MacDonald is in third year and sure as hell could have used one, it's ridiculous to wait that long to teach us,  _we need to know,"_  Marlene said, still focused on Alice and leaving Frank to sigh heavily.

"Well, you have to work your way up to it, really. The ones I used to cast were rubbish," Alice said. "A strong gust of wind could have ruined them. That's why they wait to properly teach it, because if you're not competent when you're casting a shield charm you might as well hide behind a curtain."

"A thin curtain," Frank added with a short nod. "And again, I can also—"

"Okay, so we need to start somewhere, it's better we start sooner rather than later, right?" Lily said. "It's better we cast horrid shield charms now and get better at it than get caught not knowing any at all or still practicing when something bad happens, right?"

"Well, yes, I'd think so," Alice said. "I started teaching myself in fourth year, I'd like to think I've got a handle on it now."

"So teach us," Marlene said. "You're doing the study groups, you tutor all the time, you can teach us a shield charm."

"Please," Lily added quickly.

"Right! Yes,  _please_  teach us, oh wise and kind and beautiful Alice," Marlene said, offering the girl a winning smile.

"Not that I disagree with any of what you've just said," Frank said before Alice could respond, "But once again, I have to say, Alice isn't the  _only one_  that runs a study group and can do a shield charm. What am I, chopped liver?"

" _I_  know you're talented, Sweetie," Alice practically cooed before pecking Frank's cheek.

"Yeah, yeah, such talent, model students, Platinum Slug Club membership," Marlene said, tapping impatiently on the table's surface to bring the topic away from Alice and Frank fawning over each other. "So, will you teach us?"

"Let me talk to Flitwick about the best way to go about it, maybe we can do a special session or something, and Frank can help demonstrate," Alice said with a nod. "I'll have to figure out a good time, obviously, between tutoring and homework and helping Frank study for N.E.W.T.s—"

"Those aren't until the end of May!" Marlene said, eyes wide.

"You'll be studying for O.W.L.s soon enough," Frank said grimly.

Lily and Marlene both cringed.

"Have you gotten together a homework trading system yet?" Alice asked.

"Is that  _really_  a thing everyone does?" Lily said, sighing heavily. It seemed that ever since Gabe had brought it up, it  _kept_  coming up.

"Overwhelmed Wizards Lie," Alice nodded.

"That reminds me, I have to give Ben back his Herbology essay," Frank mumbled.

Alice gestured to Frank and added, "Not Ethical When Tired."

"You'll see him soon, won't you?" Frank said to Marlene before digging through his bag. "Can you give it to him for me?"

"Hm? Oh, Ben? Yeah, I suppose," Marlene said, pulling over a plate absentmindedly.

"Trouble there?" Alice asked.

"I mean, he's great. He's just so… clingy now," Marlene said, speaking as though the notion left a bad taste in her mouth. Frank handed her a roll of parchment. "Last night he wanted me to just hang out with him while he worked on his homework and it's like… why?"

"He enjoys your company?" Lily suggested.

"I don't think even  _my_  charms can make History of Magic interesting," Marlene shrugged.

"History of Magic is plenty interesting, it's Binns that's a bore," Frank said. "Wait, I think Ben has  _my_  History of Magic essay, now that I think of it."

"Don't you feel like that's, you know, dishonest?" Lily said.

"I'm in my N.E.W.T.s year, Lily," Frank said, seeming exhausted to even state this much. "You'll see when you're in the second half of your seventh year and already have one foot out the door, it's kind of hard to care about the ethics of referencing someone else's history of magic essay at that point. I know the material, it's just faster this way."

"The Ravenclaws do it all the time," Alice added.

"What do we do all the time?" Emmeline asked. The others jumped, having not heard her approach. She set down her bag and took a seat on the other side of Marlene.

"Swap homework," Lily said.

"Oh, yeah," Emmeline nodded.

"Really? You've been holding out on us," Marlene said, slightly outraged.

Emmeline shrugged. "You never asked."

The Ravenclaw waved suddenly and Marlene glanced over and waved as well. Lily saw Dorcas walking inside with her roommates, giving the two girls a pleasant wave in return and pointedly avoiding looking at Lily before continuing off to the Hufflepuff table.

Lily suddenly became very interested in her coffee.

"Anyway, Alice is going to teach us shield charms," Marlene said.

"Oh, excellent," Emmeline said. "My dad keeps asking if I've learned any yet, maybe I can shut him up for a few letters."

"Well, nothing's set in stone yet," Alice said. "I'm going to talk to Flitwick."

"I heard you body-checked Rosier, by the way," Frank said to Emmeline, who immediately turned pink.

"Oh, well, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time," she said nervously.

As though they had planned and rehearsed it, Alice and Frank each raised a hand to Emmeline in an offer of a high-five. After a brief moment of surprise, Emmeline obliged.

"You too, Lily," Alice said, she and Frank offering Lily their palms as well.

"I'm afraid I didn't tackle anyone," Lily said, though she high-fived them all the same.

"But you dueled a bunch of assholes picking on a muggleborn for being muggleborn and that's worth praise whatever the school rules say," Frank said in hushed tones. "But of course, officially, as head boy, I am very disappointed in you prefects for dueling and all that."

"Right, right, officially we are quite ashamed," Lily said with a slight smile.

"I wonder how long until our parents get the letters," Emmeline said with a heavy sigh. Lily's smile vanished.

Right. With the focus on shield charms, Lily had completely forgotten that their parents would be getting letters about this.

"Do you think they've gone out yet?" Lily said.

"Definitely, McGonagall doesn't waste time with that," Marlene nodded. "But your parents are muggles, I mean, maybe you can downplay it?"

"Right, for all they know, people get into duels all the time and it's not a big deal," Emmeline said.

Lily shrugged. She might be able to pull that off, over letter at least. It would be hard, though, after her parents had been filled in on the dangers of their world.

She wished she could have gifted them the sneakoscope without revealing just how dangerous magic could be. She hated worrying them, and she knew she wouldn't stand a chance being taken out of school.

The girl remembered her conversation with Dorcas on the phone on this very topic and her heart sank.

She wondered if Josh would manage to intercept this letter as well, or if Dorcas, too, would have to try and downplay being caught dueling at school.

Lily suddenly wished she could compare notes and discuss strategies on how to deal with this with Dorcas, and her frown deepened.

* * *

"I'm really,  _really_  sorry we're gonna be late tonight, Moony, we'll sneak out as soon as we possibly can, but who knows how long detention's going to go," James said in hushed tones. It was a free period and he, Sirius, and Peter had dropped by to visit Remus in the hospital wing. They would be able to hide behind the privacy curtain and talk with him for approximately three more minutes before Madam Promfrey realized they were there and told them to leave.

"It's okay, you were defending Mary," Remus said, barely lifting his head from his pillow. "It's not like you're missing it all together."

"We would send Worm on his own earlier, but he's got to hit the knot for us," Sirius frowned.

"You'll get there when you get there," Remus said. "Besides, it's supposed to be cloudy tonight, maybe it won't be as bad."

"Here's hoping," Peter said. "What are they having you guys do for detention, anyway?"

"I think we're writing lines for McGonagall tonight," James said. "And Sprout said we'd be helping her do some maintenance on the green houses tomorrow."

"Yeah, they're all taking a turn," Sirius said. "But at least McGonagall wants to see us before dinner, so even though it'll already be dark before we get out, it won't be  _that_  late."

"Yeah, we don't have detention with Slughorn until Friday and he always has remedial potions before dinner so we can't do detention until after. So, there goes  _that_  Friday night," James said. "But it's better than having him tonight, at least."

"We should grab something to eat before we go tonight, though," Peter said. Sirius was right, it would certainly be dark before dinner officially started and they got out of their detention. If they left straight after detention, well, that meant skipping dinner, and he did not want to go on werewolf adventures on an empty stomach.

It seemed irresponsible, if nothing else. And if there was anything that was true of the Marauders, they were  _responsible._

"Okay, I have a plan," James said, voice still hushed. "We're gonna give Pete the map so he can properly sneak around without us while we're in detention. I'm going to need him to spy on the Quidditch practice for me, and then run by the kitchens to get food."

"Should I spy on the Quidditch team as Wormtail, or do I need to take the cloak?" Peter asked.

"As Wormtail should be fine, just find somewhere in the stands and lie low, I need to know how terribly it went," James said, cringing slightly.

"Let's be optimistic, Prongs, maybe the Hufflepuff common room will cave in and no one in that house will be able to play at all," Sirius said with a short nod.

"That's a bit harsh," Remus said with a slight smile.

"I mean, they don't need to be  _gravely_  injured, just injured enough to forfeit," Sirius shrugged.

"How is it that you three always manage to sneak past me?" came Madam Promfrey's voice mere seconds before she tore back the privacy curtains and gazed upon the boys sternly. "Mr. Lupin is  _very ill_  and needs his rest, leave him be!"

The boys grinned nervously. Remus attempted an excuse. "They were just bringing me homework, Madam Promfrey."

"Sure they were," Madam Promfrey said, gesturing to the exit. "Go work on your  _own_  schoolwork, boys, Mr. Lupin can have visitors  _tomorrow_  if he feels up to it."

A few mumbled farewells and Sirius, James, and Peter were on their way out of the hospital wing.

* * *

Marlene had thought that James was vain. It was hard not to when Lily said as much so often and James didn't exactly try to prove her wrong.

From their very first flying lesson, he had been a show-off to the point where Marlene, Dorcas, and Lily had whispered in annoyance about  _why is he even here? He clearly already knows how to fly._

(Emmeline would have joined in, surely, had she joined their group at that point. She came along later.)

Marlene had known how to fly, too, but James might as well have been born on a broom, he was as comfortable on one as he was walking. They both joined the Quidditch team their second year and while he had gotten a bit of stage fright before their first match, leading to him vomiting on the pitch before performing rather well, that was the most nerves he had ever shown in regard to the sport.

Marlene was quickly learning that there was a big difference between James Potter's vanity, which was well backed-up with actual skill and dedication, and the vanity that Eric Schnell displayed before they even had a chance to get onto the pitch for practice.

As Marlene had been going over the plan for the practice with the entire team, who were all stretching and preparing for what was to come, Schnell had spent a great deal of time admiring how he looked in the Quidditch uniform in the mirror situated in his locker door. She had snapped at him twice to pay attention, and each time he had sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.

"Do it for the team, do it for the team," Marlene had mumbled to herself as they went outside and took to the skies. They started off with chasing drills, as their current top priority was to get Schnell in sync with Wanda and Gwen the way that James had been.

That was unlikely. At this point, Marlene would settle for Schnell actually passing the damn Quaffle instead of critiquing whoever had thrown it to him.

"Holy shit, Schnell, it got to you, didn't it?" Douglas said loudly as Schnell was still talking and showed no sign of letting anyone else get a word in edgewise. "I'm not even a chaser, just throw it to the next person!"

"All I'm saying is that this is  _basic_  stuff—" Schnell started.

"So is shutting up and passing the Quaffle, you git!" Marlene said, thinking that she'd do some real damage to her teeth at some point if she didn't stop grinding them in an attempt to not call Schnell every mean thing she could think of.

Schnell opened his mouth to start protesting, Quaffle tucked beneath his arm.

Merlin, give her the patience. She had promised James that she would  _not_  get kicked off the team for assaulting another player again.

She should really not go making promises like that all willy-nilly.

"You know what? Forget it! Forget it, never mind. Douglas, Lawrence, go release the Bludgers and get some practice in. Mary, release some Snitches and time yourself. Gwen, Wanda, Asshat, you're gonna practice scoring. Head over there, start with V-Formation," Marlene said, starting off toward the rings to get in position.

"V-Formation? That's a bit cliché, don't you think? Everyone's doing a diagonal now, McKinnon, don't you keep up with the sport?" Schnell called after her.

"Who's doing that, the Canons? When was the last time they won a cup, Schnell? Oh, yeah, 1892. Get in V-Formation," Gwen called over the wind that was picking up.

"Sorry, Watson, who died and made you Quidditch Captain?" Schnell called back.

"Get in V-Formation or I'll get Emmeline Vance in here to make you cry, Schnell," Marlene called.

"All you birds are the same, you don't know  _anything_  about this, do you?" Schnell said. Wanda flew past him and hit her fist against the Quaffle settled beneath his arm, dislodging it and sending it flying to Gwen, who caught it.

Marlene had moved from the rings to Schnell in seconds.

"You have something to  _say_ , Schnell?" she practically snarled.

"Just that you lot are getting awfully  _emotional_  over a bit of criticism, aren't you?" the boy said, arms crossed and annoyance clear on his face since the Quaffle was removed from his possession.

"And what would 'us lot' be, then?" Marlene challenged, Gwen and Wanda had settled on either side of her.

"Look, why do you think most professional players are men?" Schnell said. He winced as the Quaffle, which had been in Gwen's hands, suddenly slammed against his forehead, bouncing back where Marlene caught it.

"Oops, hand slipped," Gwen said innocently.

"Must be all that estrogen," Wanda nodded.

"I mean I know that personally, my breasts make it  _so difficult_  to balance on this broom," Mary said with a dramatic sigh, circling above them.

"Oh, yes, it's amazing we can even follow the game with our tiny lady brains," Marlene said. "Thank goodness there are strong, intelligent men like Eric Schnell to keep us in line!"

"You are so screwed," Lawrence said to Schnell as he darted past after a bludger.

Schnell simply rolled his eyes. "Look, how do you explain Potter being named captain over the rest of you, then?"

"Because he's been on the team for years? Because he eats, sleeps, and breathes Quidditch? What point are you trying to make? We're all still on the team, you're only here because James got detention for defending another teammate," Marlene said. "If you don't want to work with us because we're girls, then turn in the robe and get out."

"You lot  _need_  me," Schnell said, smug. "You don't want me to leave."

"We need a body. If you want to be a  _useful_  body, then  _shut your mouth and get into V-Formation!"_ Marlene snapped, throwing the Quaffle at Schnell's chest with such force that he slid backward on his broom slightly.

As Marlene headed for the rings yet again, her head throbbing, she wondered if Lily had any more of that pain-killing potion that she usually kept on hand.

* * *

Lily and Emmeline were to write "Prefects are meant to set a good example for other students, and dueling in the corridors is a poor example," until the front and back of two rolls of parchment were full.

James, Sirius, and Dorcas were given the line, "I am a student, not a vigilante. If someone is in trouble, I should tell a teacher." Also two rolls of parchment, front and back.

McGonagall had collected their wands and assigned each of them seats before stepping into her office to retrieve some essays she needed to grade.

"Bless her, she's going easy on us," Sirius whispered from his place beside Lily as soon as McGonagall had disappeared.

"Definitely, she usually assigns us five rolls at minimum, and these are long lines, it won't take that long to fill up two rolls," James agreed, situated between Emmeline and Dorcas two rows away, grinning in the direction of McGonagall's door.

"Let's get to it, then, maybe she'll let us out early," Dorcas said softly, dipping her quill into the ink well in front of her. "It's a shame she took our wands, I guess you can't haunt your way out of this one."

"It wouldn't have worked on McGonagall anyway," Sirius sighed, already working on his second line.

By the time McGonagall returned with her stack of essays to grade a short while later, the group was busy scratching away at their parchment.

Lily wished she had brought a pen as she ran out of ink in her quill for the third time in one line, her strokes growing fainter and thinner as she attempted to use every last drop. Surely McGonagall would have allowed a pen. It was more efficient.

She was about ten lines in when she heard muffled snickering behind her.

McGonagall's gaze was still fixed on the essay before her, brow furrowed as though she was trying to decipher some particularly difficult handwriting. Lily chanced a quick glance over her shoulder to find James and Dorcas each looking deliberately down, shoulders trembling with laughter.

Emmeline was on the other side of James, glancing at the back of Sirius' head every few moments.

Lily glanced back at her parchment. Some kind of heat was bubbling up in her chest and her teeth clenched before she knew what she was doing.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes whispering to each other during detention.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes laughing with each other.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes.

The strokes of Lily's quill became more forceful.

Their snickering died down and Lily shook her head slightly, loosening her grip on her quill.

 _Just write your lines,_  she thought to herself. What did she care that they were talking during detention? She didn't.

It didn't matter.

She just had to get through detention so that she could eat dinner and work on her homework. She would be quite behind, not having this time to work on it. Maybe she  _should_ borrow someone else's essay for reference like everyone kept saying they did.

_Prefects are meant to set a good example for other students, and dueling in the corridors is a poor example._

Lily took a deep breath. Surely referencing someone else's homework was also a bad example? She might have to just stay up late tonight.

More snickering behind her back.

She felt the pressure in her jaw as her teeth clenched again.

"Miss Meadowes," McGonagall said, glancing up slightly from her grading.

"Yes, Professor?" Dorcas said, unable to hide the amusement in her voice.

McGonagall gestured a few tables to Dorcas' right. "Please move over there. I had thought separating Mr. Potter and Mr. Black would be sufficient, but apparently I was mistaken."

Lily chanced another glance to see both Dorcas and James grinning as Dorcas gathered her things to move as McGonagall had asked.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes whispering to each other during detention.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes laughing with each other.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes being separated from each other for laughing.

James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes.

Where did James Potter get off whispering to Dorcas? Where did Dorcas get off whispering back?

What on earth could be so funny? What could be so important that they had to talk about it now, in detention?

What made James Potter, the git, better to talk to than—?

Lily crossed a "T" and frowned. She knew where she was going with that line of thinking but wasn't quite sure she wanted to finish it.

But…

What made James Potter better to talk to than her?

James had always been firmly against Severus.

Severus had always been firmly against James.

They had known each other for less than five minutes before declaring their hatred and never budging on that stance. Despite attempts, Lily hadn't even been able to nudge Severus in the  _direction_  of "indifference" toward the other boy, and James had no interest in laying off either.

Was it really surprising that Dorcas and James were getting along? They had never hated each other, and now they had a common enemy.

And all over what Lily was  _sure_  had to be a misunderstanding. Severus had been her friend for so long, he wouldn't lie, but Dorcas wouldn't either! A misunderstanding was the only thing that made sense.

But Dorcas wouldn't hear that it was a misunderstanding and Severus wouldn't talk to her either.

And now Dorcas was all chummy with the pretentious, bullying, obnoxious git that was James Potter.

Her grip on her quill had tightened again as she continued writing her lines, her handwriting becoming more and more sloppy as she went.

How  _dare_  James Potter?

After years of friendship, years of slumber parties and tears and inside jokes, how dare James Potter appear out of nowhere and laugh with Dorcas in detention while Lily sat silently in the front, like none of that had happened?

It just… it wasn't fair.

She hadn't even  _spoken_  to Severus in a few days now. He had been making himself scarce since their last interaction when Lily tried to get him to talk to Dorcas. All she wanted was for this to be cleared up.

But she seemed to be the only one interested in that outcome.

Severus had lost nothing from the incident and didn't seem to care that Dorcas thought he had called her a slur. They had never been friends, so he didn't care about reconciliation.

And Dorcas? Well, she wanted nothing to do with him or anyone that would support him. That eliminated Lily, and James Potter slipped in so nicely.

Friendship wasn't supposed to be this hard, it wasn't supposed to hurt this much.

And what hurt perhaps the most was the fact that Dorcas was just fine without her.

Lily paused to massage her wrist slightly, having forcefully written quite a bit as the only way to really express any of the emotion swelling inside her.

Dorcas wasn't hurting for friends. She always had someone to eat meals with and to sit with in class. She and Emmeline had spent Sunday making more flashcards for the O.W.L.s. She and Marlene had enthusiastically quipped about Quidditch in Herbology.

Dorcas Meadowes' life was moving forward without a hitch. It was as though Lily had never been a part of it and her absence made no difference.

The Hufflepuff didn't need her. Maybe she never had.

The end of detention seemed to come much sooner than Lily expected. She reached the end of her second roll of parchment and a few short minutes later, McGonagall collected all of them, returned their wands, and dismissed the group.

"All right, Evans?" James said cheerfully, falling into step behind her as she headed for the classroom door with Emmeline.

"Mmph," Lily said noncommittally. James Potter was the last person she wanted to talk to.

"Look, I know you're still new to this detention thing, it's to be expected, I mean, you're a prefect," James continued brightly. "But Moony got used to it and I think you will too. Lucky for you, I can give you tips."

"Oh?" Lily said, meeting his gaze only briefly so that he was certain to see the roll of her eye.

Surely detention wouldn't be any worse than the tasks she had to complete to earn her sneakoscope money a few months before.

"Yes, and I will give you these valuable tips from a detention veteran… if you go out with me, Evans."

Lily couldn't see his face, but his tone told her he was grinning. This was all still so amusing for him, trying to get a rise out of her by constantly asking her out for laughs while getting chummy with what used to be one of her best friends.

She wanted so badly to hex him, and kept her mouth shut to prevent as much.

"I don't think she's interested, Prongsie," Sirius said after Lily failed to humor James with a response, clapping the other boy on the shoulder.

"I would show her such a good time!" James said in mock-outrage.

"So, show  _me_  a good time."

There was a sudden pause, everyone in the group stopping in their steps toward the grand staircase, as though a record had scratched. Heads turned to Dorcas, who, unflinching, was watching James.

"Wait, what?" James said.

"Well. Maybe I'm curious to see what the fuss is about," Dorcas shrugged.

James simply stared at her, bewildered for a moment. It wasn't common to see him at a loss for words. Sirius jabbed him sharply in the ribs with his elbow after a few long seconds of this.

"Answer her," Sirius hissed.

James' eyes darted to Lily for only a split second before he straightened his posture and seemed thoughtful.

"You know what, Meadowes?" James said after another beat.

"Hm?" Dorcas said.

"You've got a deal," he said. "How about we hang out after detention on Saturday?"

Dorcas nodded. "I'd like that."

"It's a date, then," James said, a grinning Sirius giving him the thumbs-up. The two of them, along with Dorcas began their tread to the staircase again, leaving a bewildered Emmeline and Lily in their wake.

"Dorcas and James? Does she like him? Since when?" Emmeline hissed as soon as the others were out of earshot.

Lily didn't know.

But she could feel heat rushing to her face in anger, her grip on the strap of her bag tightening, her fingernails digging into her palms as she ground her teeth.

Dorcas making a date with James?

James making a date with Dorcas?

What on earth was going on?

And why on earth was she unsure which one she was angrier with over this?


	43. I'm Not Bitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And from the depths of cobwebs and coffee and anxiety emerges the author!
> 
> Hello all, I am so sorry that it has taken so long for me to update. I never intended for that, but here we are. I never want to force a chapter and end up with something half-assed, so if a chapter isn't working, well, I need to just leave it alone for a while. Depending on work and mental health it might end up being a long while (anyone here that has read my Rise of the Guardians story knows how long I can take... I'm sorry, I do want to go back to that one some day too). I was also very busy recently with art stuff and stuff out of town.
> 
> But here we are, I have a chapter for you guys, and hopefully we will be back to our regular schedule for a while. Thank you for leaving me comments and being so kind, I really appreciate it, and it means so much that other people care about the story.

" _So. James Potter, hm?"_

" _What about him?"_

* * *

Sirius ducked down low to avoid hitting his head on the top of the tunnel, cursing softly as he went, wand lighting the way ahead of them.

_"Fucking tunnel, fucking low ceilings. Fucking Dumbledore is supposed to be the greatest wizard of our time, he couldn't provide a better tunnel? Fuck."_

James followed with Remus leaning heavily against him, arm around his shoulder. Peter brought up the rear, yawning hugely and not having to duck nearly as much as the others due to his stature.

"We need to get a lantern or something, it's so much easier to get through here as a dog," Sirius complained. He would be unable to light the tip of his wand while transformed, and they were tired of pawing around in the dark in the mornings after the full moon. The small bursts of light Dumbledore had set up to go off as they passed were hardly helpful. Thus: their current setup.

"You say that every month, and every month we fail to get a lantern," Remus said, his voice hoarse and weak. He nearly tripped over a rock and clung tighter to James' shoulder.

"Mate, just climb on my back, I can carry you," James said. This was another exchange that happened every month without change.

"I can walk!" Remus protested. "I would have tripped over that regardless."

Peter bumped into him and nearly knocked them over as he, too, tripped over the same rock.

"Shit! Sorry!" the smaller boy said at once as they all fumbled for a moment to stay upright.

"See?" Remus said.

"Are you lot okay back there?" Sirius said, his steps pausing as he glanced over his shoulder and cast his wand light on them to verify that no real damage had been done.

"We're fine, we're fine! It's not our first full moon," James said, raising a hand to block the wand light from his eyes.

"You're sure acting like it is," Sirius grinned before walking off again.

"Last night was great though. Did you see the look on that doe's face when Prongs walked over to her last night? She was  _not_  interested in you," Peter snickered.

James rolled his eyes, an action that had no impact due to the lighting. "Well it was her loss, my antlers are more than satisfactory."

"You shouldn't be flirting with does anyway, you've got a  _date_  on Saturday," Sirius teased.

"With who? Not Lily?" Remus said, tired eyes suddenly about twenty percent more alert, his brows furrowed in confusion. The others had not filled him in on this the previous night, though this was likely because his werewolf self would have cared very little.

"No, no, not Evans," James said, unable to hide the slight disappointment in his tone.

"Dorcas Meadowes," Sirius said.

"Wait, wait, how did that happen? Do you like Dorcas? Did I miss something?" Remus said. "I leave you lot alone for a few  _hours..."_

James grinned sheepishly. "I mean, I asked Evans-"

 _"Again,"_  Sirius snorted.

"-and she said no," James continued.

"Again," Peter nodded.

"And Meadowes kind of just... said  _she_  would," said James, hunching over to avoid hitting his or Remus' head on another low part of the tunnel. "So we're going to hang out after detention on Saturday and, uh, probably try to ignore everything involved with the game we can't participate in."

"Just like that? Girls don't make any sense," Remus said.

"How would you know? You're too chicken to ask one out at all," Sirius laughed.

"When was the last time you actually asked a girl out, Padfoot?" Remus replied.

Sirius was silent for a moment as though he was trying to remember. After a moment he said, "That's not the point."

"The point is that Prongs has a date! And isn't going to cause a distraction, turn into a stag, and run away, is he?" Peter said.

James laughed. "Exactly!"

"You're all so judgmental!" Sirius said as he reached the end of the tunnel. "We'll see how you all do if you ever manage to get a date in the first place, much less end up on one so awkward you're praying for a spontaneous combustion so you can get away."

* * *

Dorcas had joined a few of her housemates in the common room during the lunch hour to tend to some of the plants between bites of bites of food (and had been slightly disappointed to find that one of the plants had eaten the rest of her half-eaten sandwich while her back was turned). Because of this, she hadn't seen Emmeline since briefly that morning.

Now, with Slughorn done giving his lecture for their current potion and bubbling cauldrons and general chatter filling the air, Emmeline had a chance to lean in closer to Dorcas to properly talk to her.

"So. James Potter, hm?" the Ravenclaw asked, seeming skeptical.

"What about him?" Dorcas asked innocently as she scooped some lacewing flies onto her scale.

"What about him? What about that  _date_  you made with him?" Emmeline said, cocking a brow. "I didn't know you liked him."

"I don't  _dislike_  him," Dorcas shrugged. "We've been getting on really well recently, I just thought, why not?"

"So you made a date with him on a whim? Merlin, I can barely  _talk_  to… well, you know," Emmeline said, sighing heavily before jotting down a few notes about her potion.

"You've talked to him before," Dorcas pointed out. "There's no reason you can't again."

"I've talked to him while I was drunk," Emmeline said after making sure Slughorn wasn't paying any attention. No need to admit to drinking in front of a teacher.

"Well, what about when he fixed your record player, you talked then right?" Dorcas said.

"Right," Emmeline said, eyes now fixed very deliberately on her cauldron. "I just have a hard time, you know."

"You'll have an easier time if you keep it up, everything gets easier with practice," Dorcas said encouragingly. "Why don't you start by saying 'Hi' to him in the hall or something?"

"But I've never done that before, wouldn't it be weird to randomly start saying hello to him?" Emmeline said, cringing slightly at the idea.

"You're over-thinking it," Dorcas said, tapping the side of Emmeline's forehead for effect. "Saying 'hi,' is really harmless, what's the worst that could happen? He's not gonna think you're weird for saying 'hi.'"

"I'm making no promises," Emmeline mumbled. "So, er, what are you and James going to do on your date?"

"I'm not sure, I haven't had much of a chance to talk to him since we made the date," Dorcas said with a bit of a shrug. "It's not as though there's a Hogsmeade visit or anything."

"Like that would stop James Potter from leaving campus," Emmeline snorted.

"True," Dorcas said, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Although, I'd much prefer not getting into any more trouble than we're already in."

"Then I'm afraid you might have made a date with the wrong boy," Emmeline pointed out.

* * *

The transfiguration classroom was much louder than usual, with owls of various sizes and species settled in front of each student. The objective of the day's lesson was to transfigure them into opera glasses, which so far only James Potter had achieved successfully, earning Gryffindor a modest ten points.

Other owls hooted indignantly as they were poked by wands wielded by clumsy students, or were only partially transfigured, with handles replacing their wings and causing them great frustration.

"Is this animal abuse?" Lily mumbled to Marlene, who had paid her owl little mind, not even attempting the transfiguration yet, instead working on Quidditch plays in the guise of taking notes.

"Well, McGonagall said that transfiguring them wrong doesn't hurt them, it just annoys them," Marlene shrugged slightly, only glancing at her owl briefly before looking back to her diagram of the Quidditch pitch. "I don't know when we'll ever have to  _use_  this, honestly."

"Well it's a building block, isn't it? Like transfiguring matches into needles," Lily said, although she could see that particular transfiguration being a bit more useful than this one. She waved her wand and spoke the incantation again.

For the third time in a row, the barn owl that had been given to her flinched slightly and hooted before giving Lily a dirty look and going back to grooming its feathers.

"Wait, no, Merlin—stop it!" Severus groaned from Lily's other side as his owl flew off to the other side of the classroom. He stood from his seat and walked over to retreat it, mumbling under his breath.

"Aw, even animals don't want to keep your company, Snivellus," James tsked, setting his opera glasses to his eyes to watch the boy go. He had taken to turning the owl back to its original state and then back into the opera glasses again over and over, no doubt just to show off.

Lily sighed heavily at the comment, biting her tongue to keep from engaging with him this time.

Honestly, James Potter hadn't gotten any less insufferable. Lily didn't know why it annoyed her more than usual today.

Well, perhaps that was a lie; perhaps she did know.

There James Potter sat, having successfully completed a spell that the rest of the class was struggling with.

There James Potter sat, still well-liked for the most part, despite his hand in putting Gryffindor in second-to-last for the house cup standings yet again.

There James Potter sat, having a date with what used to be Lily's best friend without even really trying.

Why did everything come so easy for James Potter?

She couldn't even take pride in out-scoring him on that quiz months ago without remembering that he was still top of the class while trying half as hard regardless. Not to mention, immediately frowning at the memory of Dorcas helping her study for that quiz.

Lily shook her head and tried to focus on her owl. Getting angry that James Potter could transfigure his owl would not help her transfigure  _her_  owl. Getting angry that he lost points in the very same incident in which she also lost Gryffindor points would not help her transfigure her owl. Getting angry that he had a date with Dorcas would not help her transfigure her owl.

Still, despite knowing this, her teeth were clenched as she mumbled the incantation again, earning another annoyed hoot from her very-much-not-a-pair-of-opera-glasses owl.

"Owls have taste, what can you do?" Sirius was saying, chuckling along with James before waving his own wand again. There was a slight clatter as a pair of opera glasses hit the table before him, perfectly transformed.

"A sense of smell as well," James had added, low enough that he had apparently only intended Sirius and Peter to hear, Remus out sick today.

Lily couldn't help clearing her throat loudly, which only left Peter and Sirius laughing harder and James grinning "innocently" in her direction.

Before he could say a word to her, however, the door to the classroom opened and Michael McKinnon stood in the doorway. He waved slightly to Lily and Marlene as he passed, heading to the front of the classroom where McGonagall sat at her desk, grading.

"How can I help you, Mr. McKinnon?" McGonagall said.

"I got a notice just now in Professor Flitwick's class, Professor," Michael said, handing her a piece of parchment. "It's from Professor Dumbledore, he wanted me to get James Potter and meet him in his office right away."

"Oh?" McGonagall said, glancing over the parchment.

"What did you do?" Peter said, leaning over a bit to talk to James.

"I don't remember," James said, cocking a brow as he glanced back at Sirius "Pads?"

"I don't think we've done anything since the dueling… well, nothing that Dumbledore would know about," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Fine, fine. Potter, get your things, you completed the transfiguration successfully anyway," McGonagall said, handing Michael back the parchment.

"Do you know what this is about?" Lily mumbled to Marlene as Severus made his way back to his seat, looking sour with his hands gripping his owl tightly and several droppings splattered on his robes.

"No idea," Marlene whispered back. "Michael doesn't usually get in trouble, I mean, you know that."

With his bag hastily packed and his pair of opera glasses turned in to McGonagall, James followed Michael out the door, looking baffled himself as he went.

* * *

"Can I see the note?" James asked Michael as they exited the classroom.

"It doesn't say much," Michael said, handing it to James. As the Gryffindor examined the note, he found this to be accurate, Michael's summary to McGonagall being precisely what it was. No further details were given. "I wish it said if we were in trouble or not."

"Well, I'm involved, so we might be, but you're involved, so we might not be," James said thoughtfully.

"That's helpful," the Hufflepuff snorted as they made their way up the stairs to the third floor where they would find the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

"I aim to please," James said, handing Michael the note back. They walked in silence, tense.

He hadn't spoken to the boy much before, and had very little interest in doing so. Truly, he hadn't given Michael McKinnon much thought outside of being a Quidditch rival before he started dating Lily the previous year.

His friends weren't wrong when they said he had been insufferable.

Everything Michael McKinnon did had become annoying at that point. The way he talked, the way he styled his hair, the way he walked, the way he threw a Quaffle. Every goal the boy made was a personal offense to James. Every misstep was worth an analysis of why it made the boy overall a terrible person.

The way he chewed was annoying, the way he smiled was annoying, his third molar from the left on his lower jaw was annoying.

James had become obsessed with Michael McKinnon, obsessed with trying to figure out what the hell was so great about him while simultaneously trying to convince everyone around him that he was the worst.

He recalled one night when Remus had snapped at him, a day shy of the full moon and no filter or patience to speak of, and had shouted,  _"WE GET IT, YOU'RE JEALOUS!"_

James had, of course, denied it, and refused to speak to Remus for the rest of the night. Remus had not lamented this fact.

It had been a great relief to Remus, Sirius, and Peter when Lily and Michael had broken up. James had thought it would be a great relief to him as well, but it took little time for him to realize that nothing had changed.

Spending so much time analyzing Michael McKinnon had been a waste of time. Nothing was different now. Lily had still said "no," the next time James had asked her out.

And so for the most part, James had forgotten about Michael again, no longer having a real reason to spend so much time thinking about him now. It was still awkward, however, to have to walk alongside the boy that he had spent so much time obsessively hating. It seemed to take forever to get to the gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

"Er, do you—?" Michael started, gesturing to the gargoyle.

"Fizzy Wizzy," James said, almost bored. The gargoyle stepped aside to allow them passage. He and Sirius often learned the password within the first few weeks of each term. By the time third year came around, Dumbledore had joked that he ought to just send each of them a memo with the password at the start of each year.

Once at the top of the staircase, James knocked sharply, three times. Almost immediately, Dumbledore's voice could be heard saying, "Do come in!"

James pushed open the door and was surprised to find Emma Vanity and Araminta Wade of Ravenclaw standing near Dumbledore's desk. Araminta looked vaguely annoyed and kept casting glances Emma's way, while Emma's expression was decidedly neutral.

Dumbledore looked pleased.

James looked over to Michael to find that he was just as confused to find the other Quidditch captains present. What on earth could this be about?

"Mr. Potter, Mr. McKinnon, glad you could join us," Dumbledore said pleasantly. "We will try to make this quick, I know everyone has studies to get back to. We need to discuss the Hufflepuff versus Gryffindor Quidditch match scheduled for Saturday."

"Yeah?" Michael said curiously.

"We do not often reschedule matches, however, given the circumstances and given that all captains agree, we are willing to push the match back two weeks. Miss Vanity and Miss Wade have already agreed," Dumbledore said.

"Wait, really?" James said at once, eyes wide as he turned to Emma and Araminta.

Araminta sighed. "Yeah… yeah."

"If it means you lot will lay off the pitch a bit so we can train up a new Chaser, seeing as Rosier is no longer on the team," Emma said, sounding bored.

"Absolutely, reschedule it!" Michael said. "I can't believe you two would do this, thank you!"

"But…  _why_  are you doing it?" James asked, skeptical.

"Ask her," Araminta said, gesturing to Emma.

"Yes, it was Miss Vanity that pitched the idea," Dumbledore nodded.

"Have you gone soft, Vanity?" James grinned.

"I haven't  _gone soft,_  Potter," Emma scoffed. "I just don't want you to have any excuses."

"What do you mean?" James said.

"Slytherin has won the Quidditch cup the last two years, and I intend to win it this year as well," Emma said, hands on her hips and voice smooth. "I haven't led this team to victory in the past because my teammates did something stupid that not only reflected poorly upon my house, but also put the other teams at a disadvantage. No, I led Slytherin to victory simply by being better than the rest of you lot."

"I still don't understand," Michael said. James wasn't exactly understanding either.

"When Slytherin wins the cup yet again, I don't want either of you," Emma said, pointing to James and Michael, "To be able to say that we had an unfair advantage. I don't want you to be able to say that we only won because Gryffindor didn't have a chaser for one game or Hufflepuff didn't have its usual keeper. I want you to have to deal with the fact that there is no excuse and I am  _just better than you._  And I can't have that if Potter and Meadowes aren't playing."

Michael grinned and said in a sing-song voice, "You want things to be  _faaaaaair."_

"A victory's not worth it if I'm not beating the best you can put forward," Emma said at once, crossing her arms.

"You  _care_  about us," James said, his grin just as obnoxious.

"No, I don't, I  _care_  about my reputation as a captain. I  _care_  about the reputation of my house. I will protect both by winning this cup without extra help because  _I'm better than all three of you,"_  Emma said.

"Now, now, Miss Vanity, you are all incredibly talented players, it is why you've each been selected to lead your respective teams," Dumbledore said gently.

"Tell that to my two Quidditch Cups, Professor," Emma grinned. "Soon to be three."

"And why are you going along with it, then?" James asked Araminta.

The Ravenclaw shrugged. "Emma's persuasive. Besides, I've had Eric Schnell in three of my classes the past day and he will not shut up about being on the Gryffindor team and how he's apparently a Quidditch expert now after  _one_  practice. I thought  _you_  were insufferable, Potter, but for Merlin's sake, get back on your damn team."

"Language, Miss Wade," Dumbledore said.

"Sorry, Professor, but I was going to talk to you about him anyway, he's said a lot of  _really_  sexist things," Araminta said.

"Yeah, my team is not fond of him either," James said, having gotten an extremely detailed recap of the practice from every other team member at breakfast that day.

"We can discuss your concerns once this matter is settled, Miss Wade," Dumbledore nodded. "Now, Mr. Potter, you are the only one that hasn't officially agreed. As long as you are on board, we can reschedule."

"Absolutely, do it," James nodded.

"Can we be there when you tell Schnell he's off the team?" Araminta asked.

"I think Marlene might want that honor," Michael said.

James nodded. "Fair enough, she deserves that, at least."

"Great, the match will be rescheduled. Mr. Potter, I do trust that you will do what you can to keep out of trouble for the next one," Dumbledore said, gazing at James skeptically through his half-moon spectacles.

"Absolutely, professor, you know me," James said, feigning innocence.

* * *

Eric Schnell left his dormitory with his head held high and broomstick hoisted over his shoulder. He was already changed into the Quidditch uniform, unwilling to change in the locker room if only because walking to the pitch in uniform meant that more people might see him in it. And he  _did_  look good in it, if he did say so himself.

Today was going to be better, not like that last, awful excuse for a practice. No, this time he was not going to allow Marlene McKinnon to walk all over him. He was going to take charge and make sure that the practice went down the right way.

If he whipped the Gryffindor team into shape then perhaps Potter would grow a brain and give him Watson's spot on the team when he returned. Hell, maybe McGonagall would come to her senses and make Schnell the captain next year. All he had to do was assert himself, and nothing but good things would follow.

Schnell had barely taken a few steps past the entrance to the boys' dormitories when Marlene McKinnon seemed to appear out of nowhere, blocking his path. The rest of the team stood nearby, watching on eagerly, along with Peter Pettigrew, who always seemed to be following James Potter around anyway.

"What?" Schnell said, eying them all.

Marlene was grinning, a glint in her eye that unsettled Schnell considerably.

"You won't be needing all of this," Marlene said, gesturing to Schnell's uniform.

"Should I practice in the nude, McKinnon?" Schnell said with a roll of the eye.

"Dear Merlin, no," Marlene said, shoving a piece of parchment against Schnell's chest. "We just need it back because you're off the team, Jackass."

"What do you mean I'm off the team!?" Schnell demanded, crushing the parchment in his fist and throwing his broom to the floor. "You don't have that authority,  _Potter_  put me on the team!"

"You're off the team," James said with a slight nod.

"The match was rescheduled, Schnell," Marlene said, pointing to the parchment in his hand. When Schnell hastily flattened it out, he found a notice stating that the match would not take place the upcoming Saturday as initially scheduled, but rather in two weeks. "We don't need you anymore. You're off the team."

"This is rubbish! I should have been on the team in the first place!" Schnell said at once, throwing the parchment at Marlene, who easily caught the wad of paper. "And Potter's still in detention, what are you going to do, keep filling in? You're not fit to be captain, you're a joke, McKinnon!"

"Maybe I am a joke, but you're the punch line, Schnell," Marlene said. "It  _is_  pretty funny that I blocked all your attempts to score yesterday, and the fact that even after all of that you still believe I'm the problem. It's even funnier that I get to tell you to turn in your robes now."

"You idiots will never win the house cup with the way you're managed, it's a mess! I'm glad I'm not on the team if this is how it's run!" Schnell practically growled.

"Turn in your robes, Schnell," Marlene said. "You won't need them anymore."

"Bitch!" was all Schnell said before scooping his broomstick up off the floor and storming back into the boy's dormitory to the tune of the rest of the Gryffindor team cheering.

"Today's a good day," Marlene said with a content sigh and a slight twirl. It seemed a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. The rest of the team murmured in agreement.

"I'm glad you're all pleased, but he's right, I do still have detention," James said, checking his watch. "Sirius already headed out, I'd better go too. I should be able to do practice with you guys tomorrow since we're doing Slughorn's detention  _after_  dinner. In the meantime, Marlene's still in charge."

"Wait, I thought—" Marlene started.

"You'll do great, bye!" James said as he headed for the portrait hole.

"Damn it," Marlene mumbled.

"We'd better head for the pitch, then, we still have practice," Douglas said.

"I have to get my broom, I'll meet you there," Marlene said, heading for the girl's dormitory, her shoulders considerably slumped after James revealed that she would still have to do some team management in his absence.

What a joke.

When Marlene reached the fifth year girl's dormitory, she was surprised to find that Lily was sitting on her bed, madly scribbling away at her essay, brow furrowed and frown set deeply.

"Lily?" Marlene said hesitantly.

"What?" Lily said, not looking up from her essay. "Did you tell Schnell he's off the team?"

"Er, yeah, he took it about as well as expected," Marlene said. "Turns out I'm still playing captain while James is out, but at least he'll be able to play."

"Hmph," Lily said, still scribbling away. She used a ballpoint pen, her knuckles white from gripping so tightly.

"Are… you okay?" Marlene said.

"Isn't it just typical? James Potter always gets what he wants. They reschedule the damn match so he doesn't have to face the consequences of his detentions and miss it because Merlin forbid James Potter miss a Quidditch match, Merlin forbid he doesn't have the school worship him for  _one game,"_  Lily said through clenched teeth. "It's just so annoying!"

"Lily, you got detention for the same thing, and you know it's ridiculous that any of you got detention for defending Mary," Marlene said at once.

"He wasn't defending Mary, he just wanted to duel," Lily mumbled.

"I don't believe that. James has always been really good to Mary, and he knew that Rosier and Mulciber had been messing with her already," Marlene said reasonably.

"Are you really defending him?" Lily said, finally looking up from her essay.

"You did the exact same thing, Lily, just because you don't like him doesn't mean that he's in the wrong," Marlene said with a heavy sigh. "And it's good that he gets to play, it's good for the whole house. Quidditch is the only way we're gonna have a chance in the house cup."

"Merlin! Who cares about the house cup? In the grand scheme of things what does it matter?" Lily said, throwing her pen aside. "It's just another case of everything working out for Potter."

"You're starting to sound like Severus, what do you care if he gets to play Quidditch or not? Would you rather the rest of us were forced to play with Schnell?" Marlene said. She and Gwen had complained at length the previous night to both Inez and Lily about how awful it had been to have to  _practice_  with the boy.

"No, no, I just… I'm so frustrated! And then he's got a date with Dorcas? What's the deal with that? So he can get a Quidditch match rescheduled around his detentions and he can get her to go out with him despite being a terrible person and—"

"Wait, is this all about Dorcas having a date with him?" Marlene said, cocking a brow.

"No! It's about everyone overlooking how insufferable he is," Lily said.

Marlene leaned over to better look Lily in the eye, as the redhead had hardly made eye contact since Marlene had entered the room. "Lily, why does it bother you that they're gonna go on a date? I mean, yeah, it feels kind of out of nowhere but—"

"It's completely out of nowhere! Dorcas won't even talk to me but she'll go on a date with  _James Potter?_  Of all people! And he just goes along with it, like it's no big deal that she just brought it up out of absolutely nowhere!" Lily said.

Marlene straightened her stance. "Are you jealous?"

"Of who?" Lily demanded.

"Either of them. James because Dorcas is talking to him, Dorcas because she's getting attention from James—"

"Ha!" Lily said at once. "Why would I be jealous that she's getting attention from Potter? I've been trying to get him to leave me alone for almost a year now! And he fact that she's talking to him instead of me is just—it doesn't make me jealous, it makes me  _angry._  Angry that she won't hear me out."

"Are you going to say anything different than what you've already said?" Marlene said.

"She won't let me talk!" Lily objected.

"Fine, whatever, you're not jealous, I've gotta go to practice," Marlene said, waving her hand as though to wave away the conversation as she went to get her broom from the side of her bed. "And don't you have detention right now?"

" _Shit!"_  was Lily's only response before there was a mad shuffling from her end of the room and the slamming of the door as she rushed out.


	44. All My Friends

" _James Potter? Nice?"_

" _For the most part, depending."_

* * *

For a brief, hopeful minute, everyone had thought that the snow had let up at last. That is, until they had awoken that Saturday morning to the blinding white pouring in from outside the window.

The group sentenced to detention was given the task of shoveling said snow without magic. A path needed to be formed through the courtyard and to the greenhouses, to the Quidditch Pitch, and to Hagrid's hut.

The Slytherin team was taking advantage of the rescheduled match and would be practicing that morning. Emma Vanity was far too amused watching James and Dorcas hastily shovel a path so that she and the rest of her team could pass. James would have been more annoyed at this if he and Dorcas hadn't been mumbling jokes beneath their breath each time they passed each other.

It helped to stay sane when Sirius was shoveling elsewhere and there was no subtle way to take out their mirrors.

After what felt like forever, they finally turned in their shovels and James and Dorcas agreed to meet back in the entrance hall, James telling her to bring her broom. The walk back to Gryffindor Tower was oddly tense, with Lily a few paces behind Sirius and James, glaring daggers into the back of James' head as they went.

Once they reached the common room, she headed for the girls' dorm without a word, closing the door rather forcefully behind her.

"What's her problem?" James said as he and Sirius headed for their own dorm.

"Manual labor must make her cranky," Sirius said with a yawn. "I can relate."

They entered their room, where Remus was scribbling out notes for the next study group and Peter was curiously flipping through one of the books from Pam Barnes' list.

"How was detention?" Remus asked, barely glancing up long enough to see that both James and Sirius had entered.

Sirius simply groaned and collapsed atop his bed.

"Manual labor, huh?" Remus said. The heap that used to be Sirius made an affirmative sound.

"We've been shoveling snow for hours," James said, taking out his wand and vanishing some lingering mud from his jeans.

"Do you guys have detention tomorrow?" Peter asked.

James sighed. "Yeah."

"Which is dragon shit," Sirius said, lifting his head slightly. "Even God rested on the seventh day."

Peter finally looked away from a rather detailed diagram in the book in front of him. "Since when are you religious, Padfoot?"

"Since they're making me serve detention on a Sunday," replied Sirius.

"Fair enough," Remus snorted. "When's your date, Prongs?"

"I'm meeting her in the entrance hall in twenty minutes," James said, glancing in a mirror and attempting to somewhat smooth his hair.

"You know that won't work," Sirius said mid-yawn.

"Why don't you just use some Sleekeazy?" Peter suggested.

"Yeah, it's weird, you never do. I mean your dad invented it, you'd think you'd have it on hand," Remus said.

James puffed out his chest. "My hair doesn't  _need_  it, okay? It's got a natural charm to it. You simply cannot—"

"It gives him hives," Sirius said dryly, finally leaning over to pull off his boots. James glared in his direction and Remus and Peter snorted. "It's a disgusting sight, really."

"Okay, fine, I'm allergic, but my point still stands, I don't  _need_  it," James said.

Sirius grinned. "You kinda do."

"I don't want to hear it. Not from you, Spokesmodel," James said. Sirius simply grinned and flipped his hair in a way that would make any hair care ad proud.

"So, you're just flying then?" Remus said, obviously bored with the topic of James' hair.

" _Just_  flying? Did you just say that? To  _me?"_  James said, appalled.

Sirius shrugged, tossing his boots aside. "Well, it's hard to snog and fly at the same time is all."

Peter nodded. "Yes, good point, I imagine that's true."

"How many girls have you tried to snog mid-air then, Padfoot?" Remus snorted.

"How many girls have you tried to snog  _period_ , Lupin?" Sirius quipped, earning him a two-finger salute from Remus.

"Who said anything about snogging mid-air?" James said with a heavy sigh, redness starting to creep to his ears at the mere mention.

"Well, er, it's a date, right?" Peter said.

"I mean if you're not gonna try to kiss her, then it's just two mates going flying," Sirius nodded.

"Or, I mean, you could just… get to know each other," Remus countered.

Peter objected at once. "They  _already_  know each other!"

"I mean, in a one-on-one setting, it's a bit different, isn't it?" Remus said.

"They've had detention together," Peter pointed out.

"Yeah, and Padfoot third-wheeled right in through his mirror," Remus said.

"I mean, let's be honest. If you're dating James, I'm part of the deal," Sirius said. Remus and Peter immediately mumbled in agreement.

"It's one date, we're not…  _dating_  yet," James said, head clearly spinning at all that had been said as he took a seat on his bed, broomstick in his lap.

"And you won't be if you don't kiss her. That's where Jackson and I went wrong, we stopped kissing and he started talking," Sirius said, cringing slightly at the memory.

"So, he shouldn't talk to her?" Peter said, brow raised. "Girls like to talk,  _I_  know that."

"Well, not if kissing is an option," Sirius said.

"I'm gonna make an educated guess, Prongs, and say that you shouldn't do anything that Padfoot would do," Remus cautioned.

As though he hadn't heard a word Remus had said, James turned his full attention to Sirius.  _"When_  should I kiss her?"

"Well, not immediately, obviously, you don't want to spook her and you have to gauge how it's going. See if you can still stand her after ten minutes alone with her," Sirius said, matter-of-factly.

" _Ten minutes?"_  James and Remus said at once.

"That  _long?"_  Peter said, earning quizzical glances from James and Remus and a nod from Sirius.

"Trust me, ten minutes felt like an eternity with Jackson."

"Well, again, just don't turn into a stag and run away," Peter said to James, nodding his head in Sirius' direction.

"Bit hard on a broom, I imagine," Remus said.

"Pretend a big gust of wind carted you off if you need an escape," Sirius suggested.

"Excuse you," James said, offended yet again. "My flying skills are  _superb._  That would  _never_  be believable!"

"Race her somewhere and veer entirely off-course. By the time she gets to the finish line, you'll have already ditched her," Sirius offered as an alternative.

"… and  _lose_  a race?" James said, appalled.

"I guess you're just gonna have to hang out with her like you said you would," Remus said dryly.

"Well I'm not worried about that part. Dorcas is great, she's pretty and she's funny and she's easy to talk to… I just, I kind of forgot about the other stuff," James said, leaning back against his covers with a heavy sigh.

"What, the actual dating part?" Sirius said, letting out a laugh.

James groaned in response. "I guess! I just, ugh, the only girl I've really pursued lately is Evans—"

"We know," Peter said.

"—and, well, she's not exactly interested—"

"You don't say," Remus said in mock surprise.

"—so I mean, I don't know, it's kinda become more about trying to get her to say yes and then  _Dorcas_  said yes and I guess, I just—I never gave a lot of thought to what happened after getting the 'yes,'" James finished lamely.

"Well, you've been on dates before," Peter said. "Just do what you did then."

"Right, talk over her until she makes an excuse to leave, good plan," Remus said. James winced at the memory of his last real date.

It had been the beginning of fourth year. A girl from Hufflepuff a year below them had asked him out after he had told a group of students a riveting Quidditch story. She had been one of many to get caught up in it.

They had gone to the Three Broomsticks and James hadn't noticed the light slowly leaving the girl's eyes as minutes upon minutes went by with James babbling on and on about Quidditch, himself, Transfiguration lessons, himself, the latest broomstick model at the time, himself, the history of Gryffindor house, and of course, himself.

The pretty girl hadn't gotten a word in edgewise until she finally excused herself to use the washroom. She never came back.

"Well, I'm doomed," James said.

"Just hold her hand or something," Sirius shrugged. "You'll be fine."

* * *

Marlene was lying in her bed with her hair pulled back and a potion of some sort spread on her face as she read the latest issue of  _Witch Weekly_. Lily was at the next bed over, having discarded her soaked and muddy clothes she had worn to detention in favor of something warm and dry. She had several books spread around her as she scribbled away at a charms essay that Marlene should really also be working on.

But it was  _Saturday_. Maybe Marlene would do the essay later today, or tomorrow or  _something._

Inez and Gwen were nowhere to be found. Marlene felt like the girls had commented on where they were going before they left, but the blonde hadn't honestly cared enough to pay attention, looking forward to an afternoon of reading her mother's latest article ( _"Werewolves Are People Too?: A Thinkpiece By Mabel McKinnon")_  that she had  _finally_  gotten the editors to run after dozens upon dozens of compromises and edits.

She just  _knew_  her mother was going to get hate mail for it, but her mother often said that her best articles always ended in threatening letters. It was bound to be a good read.

It was hard to focus, however, with Lily writing her essay so…  _enthusiastically_  a few feet away. You would think that the parchment had personally offended her somehow with the violent way the girl was scribbling.

Finally, there was a  _crack_  as the tip of the quill in her hand finally snapped under the pressure and Lily sighed heavily, throwing the quill away from her instead of simply repairing it.

The violent toss did not have its intended effect as a quill was, of course, just a fancy feather. It barely went past her bed, fluttering side to side before finally hitting the ground. Lily wasn't satisfied and slammed one of her books closed to compensate.

"Merlin's beard, Lily,  _what's your problem?"_  Marlene said with a groan, setting the magazine aside.

"I don't have a problem," Lily said, unconvincing. Marlene hadn't been aware that there  _was_  a way to violently put a lid back on an ink bottle, but there Lily was, violently doing so.

"Okay don't do that shit, you've been in a mood ever since the match got rescheduled and James and Dorcas decided to go out. Are you  _still_  mad about that?" Marlene said, arms crossed and brow cocked.

She might look more intimidating if her face wasn't coated in a potion that promised to "brighten skin and minimize pores!" whatever that meant.

It smelled nice and she liked it, give her a break.

"You should have seen them today, Marly, they were  _insufferable!_  Making jokes and giggling and—and—!" Lily practically snarled.

"Being happy?" Marlene asked, resisting the urge to roll her eyes with all her might. "Good, it's about time that Dorcas went out with someone nice."

"James Potter? Nice?" Lily said.

"For the most part, depending," Marlene shrugged.

"James Potter is a lot of things, he's not nice," Lily said, stacking her books, her knuckles white as she gripped them more forcefully than she needed to.

"Look, if you're just gonna bitch about James Potter, why don't you go hang out with Severus? I'm sure he'd love to compare notes with you," Marlene said dryly.

"The way Severus is with Potter and the way I feel about Potter are  _completely_  different things," Lily snapped.

"It sure doesn't sound like it. I mean, maybe if you both just admitted you were jealous we could  _all_  move on," Marlene sighed.

"I'm not!" Lily insisted. "I hate it, I hate his stupid smirk and his stupid laugh and the fact that he's making her laugh and that they're out there probably right now laughing more and—and—fuck it!"

Lily forcefully set her pile of books down on her bedside table, leaving the glass on  _Marlene's_  bedside table rattling slightly. Her expression had gone from anger to frustration, tears welling in her eyes.

"Lils?" Marlene said cautiously.

"I don't think we're gonna be friends again, Marly," Lily said, not looking the other girl in the eye as she tried to control her breathing. She was trying not to cry, Marlene could tell. "I don't, I just… she's out there hanging out with  _Potter_  of all people. And she doesn't need me, and I bet she doesn't even  _miss_  me but I miss her, I miss being her friend and nothing feels right without her hanging around and her life is just going on like nothing happened. And Potter is there just being in her life so effortlessly, I just…"

"So just… apologize, Lily. See her side of things," Marlene said. It was all she and Emmeline wanted, anyway. It was awkward to flit between Lily and Dorcas.

"But what does that mean for me and Severus, what about our friendship? We've been friends since we were little,  _before_  Hogwarts was in the picture," Lily said weakly.

"Sometimes friendships don't last forever," Marlene said. "Sometimes you have to let people go."

"But—" Lily started.

"Look, Lily, you can't keep both of them as friends. And you know that. Honestly, no one knows why you keep Severus around except out of habit at this point," said Marlene, sitting back down on her bed.

Lily sighed, avoiding Marlene's eyes again as tears blurred her vision. "He's not—he's not like you guys think he is, he's—"

"He's not like  _you_  think he is, Lily. He hangs out with the Junior Death Eaters, he makes up curses for  _fun,_  he sneers about James acting superior all while being condescending to everyone. He never has anything good to say about anyone, or  _anything_  for that matter," Marlene said.

"Marlene—"

"You've  _seen_  him ignore you when his housemates are around. He's  _embarrassed_  of you," the blonde said, leaving the redhead flinching at her words. "You know the lot he hangs out with wouldn't want to associate with someone that's friends with a muggleborn. Who knows what he says about you when you're not around—"

"No! Sev wouldn't be embarrassed of me, that's not—it's not—" Lily said, tears finally rolling down her cheeks, her voice cracking. "It's not—it isn't like it's common knowledge I'm a muggleborn! It's not like I ever stood on a table and announced it to the great hall or anything. A-And when we were kids, when we were little, I  _asked_  him, I asked if it made a difference if your parents were muggles or not and h-he told me that it didn't, Marly, he s-said  _it didn't."_

"Then why else does he barely acknowledge you when they're around, Lily?" Marlene said, raising a brow to the best of her ability, the potion on her face having dried and tightened.

"It's not like that," Lily insisted.

"Fine, whatever," Marlene said with a slight roll of the eye. "Just think about who you're going through all this trouble for and if he would ever sacrifice his friendship with one of those prats for you."

Marlene seemed to be through discussing this, as she had picked up her magazine again, fixing her eyes to the pages. Lily turned away and started fumbling for a tissue, still trembling slightly through tears.

She hated this.

She wished she could be flying through the grounds without a care in the world like James Potter certainly was now.

* * *

James had never been so stressed out while on a broom, and he had played a game of Quidditch after dislocating his shoulder.

"You know, it's nice to get out and fly without a practice or a game for a change," Dorcas mused as they went, the smell of pine filling the air as they flew over the trees of the forbidden forest, James having pointed out that there was no rule about going  _over_  said forest. The wind jostled her curls and indeed, she seemed at ease.

He was glad someone was. All he could think was that at some point he should try to hold her hand like Sirius said to, but when was a good time? How did one casually grab a girl's hand while flying over a forest full of terrible creatures?

"Yeah," James nodded, his mouth dry. "We'll, uh, we'll keep going east a ways and then there should be some cliffs leading to the lake where we can stop and eat."

Dorcas had met him with a picnic basket tied to her broomstick handle and he had silently cursed himself for not thinking of the "food" aspect himself.

"Okay. It's odd, I thought the Hufflepuffs knew all the best hiding spots but I don't think any of them have been out this far," Dorcas said. "How is it that you and your friends know so much about all these places?"

"Oh, we have our ways," James said with a knowing smile, having stumbled through the forest quite a bit as a stag by now. But, he wasn't exactly a stranger to the skies in this area, either. "Sirius and I found this one when we were racing around one day when Remus and Peter were both sick."

"I don't know why it never occurred to me to explore the grounds more on a broom before," Dorcas said, delighted at the notion. "Is that even allowed?"

"It is if you really get technical with what the rule book specifically says," James grinned.

"Oh?" Dorcas snorted.

"Yes, it is 'highly suggested' that students only fly within the immediate grounds of the school. So, it's not outright  _forbidden_  that we're here, it's just frowned upon," James nodded. "Filch has tried to get Sirius and I for it about a dozen times."

"You're gonna send him to an early grave," Dorcas said.

"Early?" James said, cocking a brow. The more they talked the more at ease he felt. Dorcas was, well, a Hufflepuff. She was warm and she was friendly. He liked talking to her.

 _But it's a date, you should do more than talk, that's what Padfoot said_ , he reminded himself.

"Filch is actually twenty-five, he just looks like that because he has to deal with you and Sirius," Dorcas said, attempting to keep a very serious tone, but the smile twitching at the corners of her mouth were giving her away.

"Oh, no!" James gasped. "What a tragic turn of events!"

"You should be ashamed," Dorcas nodded.

"Oh, I am," James said, hand to his chest and head hanging low. The girl giggled, a pleasant sound. He smiled and gazed forward again, still a few minutes away from their destination.

* * *

Emmeline Vance counted the steps she took down the grand staircase out of boredom more than anything. She was ahead on her homework for once, and when she had tried to take advantage of this fact to work on some music, her mind seemed to go blank at once.

After nearly an hour of trying with no results, she packed away her notebook into her bag and left Ravenclaw tower, wondering if a change of scenery might help.

If it didn't, and she continued to find herself unable to work on music, she wasn't sure what else she would do to fill the rest of her time until dinner. She had already finished the stack of comics she had most recently traded with Remus.

Spending time with her friends seemed out of the question. Marlene had stated at breakfast that she was looking forward to a day lying about in bed and reading magazines after a week of stress at Quidditch practice, and Emmeline couldn't get into Gryffindor tower to disturb her even if she wanted to.

Lily had been in a sour mood for a while now, which only seemed to get worse through their detention that morning. Emmeline would honestly rather sit by herself in silence than awkwardly nod along as Lily became angry at James Potter for existing.

Dorcas, well, she was on a date  _with_  James Potter.

With Dorcas and Lily having their row, it became very apparent to Emmeline just how few friends she had. If their group was to be severed permanently because of all of this, well, Emmeline wasn't quite sure where she fit.

Dorcas was not wanting for friends and would do fine, as shown by the way she seamlessly found a new group to eat meals with immediately. If she started dating James, then she would easily fit in with his group like she did everywhere else.

Marlene and Lily had been friends the longest, and, well, people just  _liked_  the two of them, it was easy for them. They would be fine.

And then there was Emmeline.

Emmeline hadn't made a single friend for months when she had started Hogwarts, unable to connect with anyone, not even her roommates. Loneliness and homesickness only made her withdraw further, and her anxiety over talking to new people certainly didn't help.

The other three girls were already a tight-knit group of their own when they decided to bring in Emmeline. It started with Emmeline tripping in the corridor (thanks, Peeves) and dropping some of her muggle pens from her bag. Lily had stopped to help her pick them up and had been delighted to find someone else that hated quills. The conversation with her, Dorcas, and Marlene had been brief and awkward and Emmeline was certain they had to think she was stupid.

At the next meal, however, Dorcas noticed Emmeline sitting alone and ushered her over to their group. For some reason, they were patient with the shy Ravenclaw, and as she grew more comfortable, she joined in the conversations more and more.

Those three girls seemed to get her and the idea of the group breaking up and going separate ways stung. Each of them could easily go on and form new groups if they so desired. Emmeline would be right back at square one, the nervous first year.

Well, unless her flask got involved.

She sighed heavily at the thought and lightly brushed her fingers over the pocket the flask was settled in. There were only so many people she could talk to comfortably without that. She couldn't remember the last time she left the dorm without it.

It was a "just-in-case" thing, she assured herself. Just because it was there didn't mean she would use it all the time. She just felt better with the knowledge that it was available.

Before she had a chance to contemplate that further, three boys fell into her line of vision, each with an armful of food taken from the kitchens.

"All right, Vance?" Sirius called, elbowing Remus slightly. Emmeline hoped he didn't notice the heat rushing to her face.

_Just say "hi!" Like Dorcas said! You can do this without being drunk! Just say "hi!" He talked to you first, it's okay!_

Taking a moment to communicate properly with her hand, she jerkily lifted it and waved.

She wasn't entirely sure if there was a stupid way to wave to someone, but if there was, she had achieved it.

"Um—er, hi," she said, clearing her throat immediately. They reached a landing and had no choice but to stop, as their respective staircases each immediately began moving behind them. "You lot, er, you look off-balance without Potter."

"It throws everything off, doesn't it?" Remus said, glancing between Peter and Sirius, their group seeming strangely small without their fourth person. Peter was staring at his shoes, very carefully chewing on a bit of a turkey leg he was working on.

Emmeline might be imagining things, but she was almost certain that boy in particular had been very standoffish around her recently.

She  _had_  to be imagining things, though. It wasn't as though she and Peter had ever really talked in the first place.

But didn't that give him even less of a reason to be so tense around her?

"I suppose we'll have to have you stand in until the staircase comes back," Sirius said, setting a hand to Emmeline's shoulder, which left her pretending to scratch at the bridge of her nose to hide the blush that she knew had to be there. He guided her to the empty spot beside him and nodded, satisfied, once she stood there. "There, yes, you're an excellent stand-in James."

"A little short, but it'll do," Remus agreed. Emmeline, unable to keep eye contact with Sirius for long, often darted her eyes back to Remus, who was a much safer option. Half the time he seemed very focused on his food.

"Just mess up your hair and start talking about Quidditch, no one will know the difference," Sirius said.

Emmeline awkwardly ruffled her curls a bit, supposing she should play along. "Quaffles! And, um, and, uh, the Ballycastle Bats!"

"Uncanny, really, why do we even keep James around?" Sirius said, taking a bite from one of the cookies in his arms. "Especially if he's going to ditch us to spend time with perfectly nice, attractive girls."

"The nerve," Remus said.

"It's rude, is what it is," said Sirius. Emmeline smiled slightly at the notion.

"Well, now we know where we can find a spare," Remus nodded.

"A much better-looking spare," Sirius said. Emmeline's heart swelled and her entire face had to be red now. Had she been looking anywhere but her shoes she might have noticed Sirius jabbing Remus in the ribs with his elbow again.

She might have seen Remus turning red as well.

She might have seen Remus staring wide-eyed at Sirius, who was mouthing something to Remus while subtly gesturing to Emmeline.

Peter snorted. "Don't tell James you said that."

"He'll be, uh, I'd imagine, um, he'd be upset," Emmeline said, hand to one of her blushing cheeks in what she hoped was a casual way.

But  _Sirius Black_  had basically complimented her looks and she wasn't even sure if the words coming out of her mouth were making sense anymore, much less the gestures she was making with her body.

"He would be, we were all under the impression that you and James had something  _special_ , Padfoot," Remus said dryly, eyes focused on the staircase that was fitting itself into place.

"That was before he ditched me for a Hufflepuff!" Sirius said dramatically, beginning to step up the stairs. "We'll be in touch, Vance!"

"See you around," Remus said, heading after them.

"Bye," Emmeline said breathlessly, watching them for a moment before practically floating down another staircase.

* * *

"You're making this up, you're  _messing_  with me," James said, shaking his head.

"I'm not making it up, it's called a unicycle, it's a bicycle with no handles and no front wheel and you just… balance and go, I suppose, I've never ridden one but I've seen pictures," Dorcas said.

"That must look ridiculous," James said.

"It does," Dorcas nodded. They had long since finished the food she had brought and were now sitting side-by-side on the blanket, watching the newly frozen lake.

"A unicycle. They don't make motorized ones, do they?" James said, still clearly in disbelief that muggles would come up with such a thing.

"I don't think so… maybe," Dorcas shrugged.

"I can't decide if it's a good idea to bring it up to Sirius or not," James grinned. "He'll start a collection."

"I'm not going to lie, the mental image of Sirius Black riding around town with his leather jacket on a motorized unicycle is hilarious, you should tell him," Dorcas laughed.

The conversation had been going quite smoothly. There were hardly any pauses, and when there were, they didn't feel awkward or tense. Dorcas was unintimidating and easy to talk to.

It was  _nice._

But James was still unsure when he should "hold her hand or something," as Sirius had put it. With few pauses, it was hard to find a time to do so that wasn't mid-sentence and awkward.

Their hands were only a few short inches apart, it shouldn't be this hard.

"I'll think about it. You don't understand that I have to put up with him trying to get it to work," James pointed out, glancing down at her hand for what felt like the three-hundredth time.

"He seems pretty handy, he got Emmeline's record player working again at least," Dorcas said.

"Yeah, and we were all walking over bits and pieces of it for weeks," James snorted. If he didn't at least hold her hand then Sirius would never let him hear the end of it when he reported back.

He decided to do one better and pretended to stretch to disguise the gesture of sliding his arm around her shoulders. And old move? Perhaps. But effective?

Dorcas glanced at his hand on her shoulder only briefly before leaning a bit into him, seeming all right with this new position. Yes, good. He had this under control. He had put his arm around her, and this absolutely was progress.

Now what?

"How many pieces can really go into a motorized unicycle?" Dorcas said, glancing up at him.

"I didn't think a lot of pieces went into a record player, to be fair," James said.

Dorcas was very pretty and very okay with his arm being around her shoulder. Meeting her gaze wasn't awkward in itself, James was just out of practice, a bit nervous. He cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing at her eyebrows rather than her large brown eyes to try and collect himself.

_I mean if you're not gonna try to kiss her, then it's just two mates going flying._

James Potter was not a failure. He was not going to leave this date as two mates going flying.

"I suppose that's true, I never thought about it that much," Dorcas said.

James didn't really want to talk about record players or unicycles anymore.

And so swiftly, with purpose, he set his lips to hers.


	45. Are You Happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, it's been a weird past week and I was having a really hard time sitting and working on/editing this, so we're a little late. I blame the moon.
> 
> But! I finished another new drawing of the girls, I'm super happy with it. Close-ups are on my art and HP tumblrs, the usernames are in my bio.  
> 

_It was soothing in a way, listening to the pencil scratch the paper and watching something come out of nothing._

* * *

On Sunday morning, for the first time in what felt like ages, Dorcas was sitting at the Gryffindor table.

She wasn't sitting with Marlene, Lily, and Emmeline, however. No, she and Lily still avoided each other's gaze when the redhead followed Marlene into the Great Hall.

Instead she was settled to one side of James, with Sirius on the other and Remus and Peter seated across. They all laughed at something Sirius was saying, and she seemed to fit in seamlessly with the boys.

Beneath the table, she and James were holding hands.

"What did you find out about the date?" Marlene asked Emmeline as soon as the Ravenclaw sat down. She had eaten dinner at the Hufflepuff table the night before to get filled in.

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" Emmeline said, nodding her head in the Marauders' direction. "They're an item now, it went really well."

"Okay but did they snog?" Marlene asked.

Lily groaned in protest. "Can we not? I just want to get through breakfast."

Emmeline and Marlene exchanged glances before Marlene sighed. "Fine."

As Lily glanced back down at her porridge, Marlene was subtly mouthing,  _"did they snog?"_  to Emmeline, who nodded. Marlene gave Emmeline a thumbs-up.

"Emmeline, how is everything going for you?" Lily said, obviously aware of these gestures and hoping to truly change the subject.

Emmeline leaned in a bit, her tones hushed. "I ran into Sirius, Remus, and Peter yesterday while James was out on his date. They joked a bit that I should fill in for James and Sirius said I was a  _better-looking_  alternative."

"And what did you say?" Marlene asked, intrigued.

"I don't even remember, I was so thrown off," Emmeline said with a dreamy sigh.

"Well, he thinks you're better-looking then Potter, so I suppose there's that," Lily shrugged. "I still think you could do loads better, Emmeline. Someone that can compliment you without it being a joke."

Emmeline's face fell slightly. "I… well, I suppose it was just a joke, wasn't it?"

"Let her have this, Lily," Marlene mumbled.

Lily frowned. "Oh, I didn't mean to—"

"No, no, you're right. It was more a joke about James than a compliment for me. For a while it was nice to think otherwise, though," Emmeline said, her excitement adequately deflated as she picked at her toast.

"You're very pretty, Emmeline, I'm sure lots of boys think so," Lily said.

"Thanks," Emmeline said, halfhearted, glancing back toward James and Dorcas briefly, envy in her blue eyes.

" _There_  you are, why has tracking you down been such a chore lately?"

Suddenly Benjamin Burke was plopping down beside Marlene and pecking her cheek.

"'Ello," Marlene said, sounding bored.

"You don't have practice today, right?" the boy said. Marlene shook her head. "Well, great, why don't you come along with me? I've got an essay to finish, but—"

" _Merlin,"_  Marlene said. "Why do you want me to hang out with you while you do your homework?"

Benjamin was clearly taken aback. Lily and Emmeline exchanged uncomfortable glances.

"Well, I'm in my N.E.W.T.s year, I have a lot of work, but I mean, I'd still like to see my girlfriend," Benjamin said. "And I miss you, we haven't spent a lot of time together lately."

"You want to be together  _all_  the time, I have a life!" Marlene said. "I have friends and Quidditch and my own homework and—"

"So bring your homework along, I can help, I've taken those classes already!" Benjamin said.

"What time do we have to be at detention?" Lily mumbled to Emmeline, who was doing her best not to stare at the couple quarreling beside them.

The Ravenclaw winced. "Not for another forty-five minutes."

There was no escape route for the two that wasn't extremely obvious.

"You don't get it, you're so  _needy,"_  Marlene said, shuddering as though the notion made her want to climb out of her own skin. "All you want to do is be around me and  _talk."_

"Well  _sorry_  for wanting to talk to you?" Benjamin said, "Most girls are into that."

Marlene snorted. "Well maybe if you weren't so  _boring_  I wouldn't feel like I'm getting my teeth pulled the muggle way whenever we have a conversation anymore! I swear you used to have a personality!"

"Well, I swear  _you_  didn't used to be a  _bitch,"_  Benjamin sneered.

More people were watching now. Only a few were at least eating their breakfast and pretending not to notice the obvious row going on.

"Well, shit, I guess we were both wrong," Marlene said with a sarcastically pleasant smile.

"I guess so," Benjamin said, standing up from his place at the table. "We're done."

"We've been done," Marlene said, waving to him condescendingly as he stormed off, those that had been eavesdropping immediately whispering among themselves.

Marlene violently stabbed at a sausage with her fork.

"You okay?" Lily said gently.

"Yeah," the blonde said. "I knew it was coming."

"I'm sorry," Emmeline said with a frown.

"Don't be," Marlene said, taking a bite. There was the sound of footsteps and suddenly Dorcas had arrived, taking the spot that Benjamin had just vacated and still very much not looking at Lily.

"Are you okay? That was… dramatic," Dorcas said.

"I'm good, go back to James," Marlene said, managing a smile.

"You're sure?" Dorcas said. Marlene nodded. "Okay."

Dorcas gave Marlene a brief hug and offered Emmeline a friendly wave before getting up and walking back to where the Marauders were continuing on with their conversation, as though nothing of interest had just happened.

Sirius, however, looked oddly satisfied.

Lily returned her focus to her breakfast, wondering if the morning could possibly get any more uncomfortable before the mail even arrived.

"Really though, if you want to go somewhere else and talk about it," Emmeline said to Marlene.

"There's nothing to talk about. I, well, I know it sounds bad, but I wanted him until I had him," Marlene said, still staring at her plate, a small frown fixed to her face. "That always seems to happen."

* * *

Detention today was to be served in Professor Binns' classroom, scrapping chewing gum from the bottom of each desk by hand, unassisted by magic. It was truly a disgusting task to take on, but at the very least they were indoors today, and it was not expected to take too terribly long.

" _Why_  is some of this still sticky? Why?" Dorcas groaned in disgust as she eyed a string of gum that was attached to one of the ice scrapers they had been provided. She tugged the scraper helplessly, hoping to free it from the gum's grasp and failing miserably.

"It's blue, right? Must be Drooble's, that stuff never loses its flavor  _or_  its consistency," Sirius said, tapping his scraper on the edge of a bucket in his own attempt to get the gum off.

"I'm glad whoever pranked us a few months back didn't use Drooble's on our wands," James grumbled, moving on to a new desk, having cleared out the one he was working on.

"That's right, I forgot about that," Sirius sighed.

Lily and Emmeline, who were near the front while the others were closer to the back, exchanged knowing smiles before returning to their own gum-covered desks.

"Oh, did you ever figure out who did that?" Dorcas asked innocently.

"Not yet," James said.

It was odd to think that not so long ago, Dorcas and Lily were not only talking to each other, but fitting seamlessly into the group and snickering as they tied together shoe laces and stuck wands to the underside of tables with chewing gum just to play a joke on James, Sirius, and Peter.

Anymore, it felt like an entirely different lifetime.

It was only a few months.

"Potter, do you want to lose that hand?" Sirius said suddenly and the others turned to find James ready to stick a wad of gum in Sirius's hair. Sirius was pointing his scraper at the other boy in a threatening manner and James looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"Aw, take a joke, Pads," James said, reaching his hand forward still, leaving Sirius to lean so far back that he was practically lying on the floor.

"I will dismember you with this stupid scraper," Sirius said, waving the tool around for effect. James easily dodged the blows. "Don't test me!"

"Mr. Potter, do dispose of the chewing gum in the proper receptacle. Mr. Black, do refrain from threatening other students," Professor Binns said as he floated through the classroom door and back into the room, looking unsurprised by what was happening.

"It was self-defense!" Sirius protested. Binns didn't respond, going straight through the door to his office and disappearing from sight.

As Sirius was busy expressing this sentiment to Binns, James had taken the opportunity to reach forward yet again. Thankfully, Sirius noticed this and rolled away.

"I'll fucking end you if you keep trying to put that shit in my hair," Sirius warned "I know where you sleep, we've already made plans to replace you with Vance."

"Replace me with  _Vance!?"_

"Will you idiots just get back to work so we can leave sooner?" Dorcas said, though she was smiling at the antics all the same.

"What, you don't want to spend all day crawling under desks with such great company?" James pouted.

"Even your company isn't great enough to make this enjoyable," Dorcas smiled.

James put a hand to his chest dramatically. "That hurts."

"Relationships are built on honestly," Dorcas giggled, returning to her own scraping.

_Relationships_ , Lily shuddered slightly. So they really  _were_  a couple now. How nauseating. Holding hands, playful banter. Where did they get off?

But she couldn't say any of this without Marlene insisting she was jealous.

Lily was not jealous, she was  _angry_  if anything.

She wished she wasn't. She would tell herself over and over again that it was stupid to be so angry about this, so angry about Dorcas and Potter going out. Even if she and Dorcas were still talking to each other, what did it matter if she dated Potter? What Potter did was of no concern to Lily.

At least, that was what the logical part of her would insist. The emotional part would see them smiling and enjoying each other's company and get so, so upset. She couldn't stop it. She would try to shove it down deep into her chest and it would bubble up again soon enough.

She was so tired of being angry.

* * *

Class started the next week with little to note. Remus lost Gryffindor a few more points by arguing with MacPherson, as usual. James and Sirius exchanged quips under their breath in their classes, snickering to themselves as usual. Peter was always close behind, reminding them of their comedic genius, as usual.

Lily was nearly late to her class that immediately followed her free period after losing track of time, as usual.

Emmeline and Pam gave each other dirty looks as they passed in the corridors, a recent addition, but still usual by now.

Whispers followed Marlene regarding her dating life, as usual.

What was new and, depending on who you asked, quite annoying, was James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes strolling through the halls hand-in-hand, exchanging quick kisses before parting ways to separate classes, and silently passing notes to one another.

They seemed to fall into these roles quickly and quite easily.

Classes with James felt odd now, with the boy no longer throwing "charming" lines at Lily Evans when the opportunity presented itself. Her day felt oddly quiet, empty, and she found herself annoyed once again at the interruption to what she had come to find normal. Everything around her was changing and growing quieter and lonelier as time ticked by.

It was a Thursday during lunch when Dorcas found herself sitting quite still after finishing her food, staring fixed at one spot across the hall as Remus and Sirius tried to talk Peter out of getting a perm and James carefully scratched at a page of his sketchbook with several different pencils.

Dorcas had no idea why he had so many, but they had different numbers and letters on each, so she supposed they were for different things. They all looked like regular graphite pencils to her, but she didn't ask, not wanting to move her mouth. She had been surprised and delighted when James had asked to draw her, stating he mostly drew Sirius and Remus since Peter couldn't hold still for very long.

"We're telling you, as your friends, that getting a perm is not going to improve anything about you," Sirius said slowly, trying desperately to get Peter to understand this simple concept.

"Well I'm just saying, this guy can pull it off," Peter said, pointing to a photo in a magazine that he had brought as an example of his idea.

"You couldn't look less like this guy if you tried, Pete," Remus said.

"Well maybe not in the sense that—" Peter started.

"Not in any sense, don't get a perm," Sirius said. "Prongs, give him an artsy opinion."

James paused in his attempts to draw Dorcas to glance over at the magazine, brow furrowing. "Worm, you'd be better off shaving your head."

"See?" Sirius said.

Peter pushed the magazine in Dorcas' direction. "What do you think, Meadowes?"

"Can I move my head?" Dorcas mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah, you're fine, I'm nearly done," James nodded, his sketchbook at such an angle that Dorcas could not see the drawing even when she did turn her head. She glanced down at the magazine and frowned.

"Well, I mean, I think you should do what you want, Peter, and try new things," she said slowly.

"Finally, someone supports me!" Peter said, triumphant.

"Er, however, while I don't want to outright discourage you, I'm, uh, I'm not sure this would suit you?" Dorcas added.

"There, she let you down in the most Hufflepuff way possible," Sirius said, flipping the magazine shut and handing it back to Peter. "Be smart about this."

Peter sighed heavily. "You lot always shoot down my ideas."

"Just your bad hair ideas," Remus said.

"Which, to be fair," Sirius said, refilling his goblet of pumpkin juice, "are most of your ideas."

"There, be brutal," James said, setting the sketchbook down so that Dorcas could see what he had drawn.

"She's a Hufflepuff, we just went over this," Sirius said, craning his neck to try and see the sketch himself, though from his position he could only see it partially, and upside down.

It was a bit rough, but Dorcas certainly thought it looked like her. He had taken the time to draw her curls, which had to have been a tedious task.

"I think it's lovely, James," Dorcas said encouragingly. "I really like it. I like how you drew my hair."

"Thank you," James said, seeming rather pleased at her response.

"Hand it over," Sirius said, reaching out his hand.

"Ah, he'll give me brutal," James said, handing Sirius the sketch.

"Well don't be mean, it's a nice drawing," Dorcas said.

"Eye's wonky, is your eye wonky?" Sirius said, glancing from the sketch to Dorcas and back. "No, it's not. The sketch is, though. Hair's good. The more I look at the eye the wonkier it gets, though."

Remus leaned over to take a look. "I think it just might be too small."

"Ah, yeah, that's it," Sirius nodded in agreement.

Peter took the sketchbook from Sirius' grasp to take a look as well. "The nose is big."

Dorcas set a hand to her nose. "I have my father's nose, I'm afraid."

"Your nose is  _fine,_  I'm still getting the hang of people," James said with a heavy sigh.

"No, the nose in the drawing is fine, it's just that the eye is small so it makes the nose look bigger," Sirius said, pointing to the eye and nose to better illustrate his point.

"I still think it looks great," Dorcas said, patting James on the shoulder as he got his sketchbook back.

"Oh it's very good, you should see some of the rubbish people he drew before," Sirius said.

"Let's see if I can't make it better. Thanks, though," James said, offering Dorcas a smile as he took an eraser out of his pencil case.

It was an odd sensation to Dorcas, watching him erase her eye and getting to see her face without it. He lightly began sketching a new one in.

It was fascinating to watch and she found herself getting caught up in it. It was soothing in a way, listening to the pencil scratch the paper and watching something come out of nothing. Remus, Peter, and Sirius had started talking about something else, MacPherson's class perhaps, and Dorcas hadn't heard a word of it, just watching James' pencil.

"There, that's better, I think," James said after a short while, setting his pencil down again.

Dorcas hadn't thought there was anything wrong with the drawing before, but it was obvious that the change had made a huge difference. Everything seemed balanced now, somehow.

"Oh yeah, way less wonky," Sirius said when James handed him the sketchbook.

"Looks good, Prongs," Remus agreed.

"You're very talented," Dorcas said. "How long have you been drawing?"

"I don't really know when I started," James said. "I was always doodling. I guess in second year I wanted them to look better and started trying harder."

"Well, it shows. It's very nice, I really like it," Dorcas said as the sketchbook was set back in front of James and she could take a look at it again.

James carefully tore the page from the sketchbook. "Well, then it's yours."

Dorcas' eyes lit up at the idea. "Oh! Excellent. But you've got to sign it!"

"Right, right, might be worth something some day when I'm a pro Quidditch player and gallery artist," James said boastfully, scribbling out his signature in the corner of the page.

"Do remember us when you're legendary," Remus said dryly.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" James said.

Remus simply gave him the two-finger salute.

"What lewd gestures for a prefect," Dorcas tsked as she tucked the sketch away in one of her text books to keep it safe for the rest of the day.

The bell rang and the group began gathering their things and getting up from the table.

"Take it up with Dumbledore," Remus said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

* * *

Lily and Emmeline were on their way to Divination when they saw a very frustrated Alice and Frank talking to Professor Flitwick outside of the charms classroom on the third floor. Flitwick seemed calmer than the couple, but a rare frown and furrowed brow was present on his face.

"I wonder what's happened," Lily said, starting to walk that way.

"We have to be in Divination in five minutes and we've still got four floors and a tower and—" Emmeline started, glancing at her watch. When she glanced up, however, Lily was already ten paces away, her expression a combination of concerned and curious.

The Ravenclaw sighed heavily and glanced at the staircase they should be taking for only a moment before hurrying off to follow the redhead.

"It's ridiculous, Professor!" Frank was saying.

"I agree, Mr. Longbottom, I absolutely agree, but we must see Dumbledore's side of this—" Flitwick said.

"MacPherson is acting like a child and Dumbledore shouldn't be enabling him to do so!" Alice said.

Flitwick sighed. "I don't always agree with our headmaster's methods, but he  _is_  the headmaster. Hello, Miss Evans. Miss Vance."

"Hello, Professor," Lily said pleasantly. Emmeline offered a quiet wave to the group. "Is everything all right?"

"Remember how we were trying to organize a session to teach shield charms? We've been putting plans together and had booked a classroom and time but MacPherson blocked it, said Flitwick—" Frank started before Alice interrupted.

"— _Dueling Champion,_ Filius Flitwick," she said. Flitwick smiled slightly.

"Right, right," Frank nodded. "MacPherson said that  _Dueling Champion_ , Filius Flitwick was undermining his authority as head of the Defense Against the Dark Arts department by teaching supplemental spells that fell under his subject, completely ignoring the fact that they're shield  _charms_  that Flitwick regularly teaches to N.E.W.T.s students."

"Well, that's rubbish," Emmeline said, brow furrowed.

"He filed a formal complaint against him!" Alice said, clearly enraged.

"What!?" Lily and Emmeline each said at once, shocked. Not only was Professor Flitwick one of the least offensive, most-liked professors at Hogwarts, he was MacPherson's former head of house.

"Now, now, there's no need for you lot to get riled up on my account," Flitwick said. "You have better things to worry about than faculty dealings."

"But you shouldn't have to deal with this—wank—sorry, this  _faculty member,_  doing this," Frank said, and Lily could swear that Flitwick chose to smooth out his mustache at that moment to avoid giving away that he had nearly laughed.

"Dumbledore had to have a meeting with them both where MacPherson  _threatened to quit_  if Flitwick carried on planning to set up a session to show anyone pre-N.E.W.T.s how to cast the charm. And he insisted that Frank and I had no authority to do so on our own because we're meant to tutor what's in the curriculum," Alice said.

"Oh no, MacPherson quitting? How terrible," Lily said dryly.

"It's much too close to your examinations lose a professor right now," Flitwick said. "I understand why Dumbledore would rather not risk it."

"Remus taught us Patronus charms, that wasn't on the curriculum," Emmeline said. "Since when is that even a problem?"

"Technically Patronuses  _were_  on the curriculum, MacPherson just skipped it. He tried complaining to Dumbledore about that, too, and Dumbledore wasn't hearing it," Alice sighed. "And I guess there's an old, obscure school rule that we really  _aren't_  supposed to tutor what's not on the curriculum because a few centuries ago students were teaching each other the unforgivables secretly during tutoring sessions. They weren't illegal yet, and technically there hadn't been a rule against it. So, he dug that up."

"That's so stupid," Lily scowled.

"I know! He's on a power trip," Alice said.

"I think it's best to ride out the rest of the school year and try again next term," Flitwick said gently. "I understand and appreciate the passion you all have about this, truly I do. But I suggest focusing on your studies and passing your exams. That's what's more important in the here and now."

"But Professor, with things the way they are—" Lily started.

"I know, Miss Evans, but you're all students. It's not your war yet. With any luck it won't have to be."

* * *

Sirius Black nearly tried to fight Remus Lupin when the other boy tried waking him up much too early on a Saturday. Remus and Peter hushed Sirius immediately and pointed in the direction of James' bed.

It took a short while for everything to make sense, but once it clicked, Sirius nodded and clumsily pulled himself out of bed. They walked lightly to James' bed and gently pulled back the curtain.

"Merlin's sake," Sirius mumbled when they found an empty bed.

"Morning!" James said cheerfully, causing all of them to jump in surprise. He had suddenly appeared behind them, invisibility cloak draped over one arm and a half-eaten doughnut from the kitchen in his other hand.

"We should have known when we didn't hear snoring," Remus said, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Dead giveaway," Sirius agreed.

"I was really looking forward to sending him spiraling out of his bed," Peter frowned.

"It was  _just_  Moony's birthday, you've lost the element of surprise," James grinned, plopping down on his bed, cross-legged and looking very satisfied with himself. "So, I suppose since I've outsmarted you lot, we can skip right to the gifts."

"I mean, I suppose, but— _wingardium leviosa!"_  Remus said, quickly pointing his wand to James' mattress, half of which jerked upwards, sending James tumbling backwards into a tangle of bedsheets and curtains on the floor.

Sirius and Peter each high-fived Remus as James cursed and attempted to get up.

" _Oh, it's the birthday git!"_  Sirius sang.

" _He's looking rather fit!"_  joined in Peter.

" _Too bad he's so ancient,"_  chimed in Remus.

" _Iiiiiiiit's the birthday git!"_

James pulled himself back onto his bed with a huff, unamused and disheveled. "I hate you guys."

"We hate you too," Sirius said, lovingly patting James on the head before he, Remus, and Peter each went to their respective corners of the room to retrieve their gifts for the other boy.

Sirius tossed a package at James, who caught it easily finding it to be flimsy and soft. When he tore the paper away, an AC/DC t-shirt was revealed. Sirius was slowly but surely building up James' band shirt collection, and James supposed it was in part so that Sirius could borrow said shirts later, but liked them all the same.

"Thanks, Mate," James said.

"Rock and roll," Sirius replied, mid-yawn.

Taking a less violent route to deliver his gift, Remus handed James a much sturdier, rectangular package. It felt like a book when James curiously weighed it in his hands, and unwrapping it proved his suspicions to be true. It was an odd muggle medical text book, and when James curiously flipped through the pages he found a huge amount of anatomical illustrations.

"I thought, you know, you might be able to use it as drawing reference since you're drawing more people lately," Remus said sheepishly, clearly nervous about James' reaction.

"Cool," James said with a nod, glancing up and offering Remus a sincere smile. "Thanks, Moony."

"You're welcome," Remus said.

"I got you something for when we win the Quidditch Cup," Peter said with a groan as he lugged a large crate of fireworks over to James' bed and dropped it there. "Sorry, I didn't wrap it."

James laughed. "Where'd you get all those?"

"Been buying a couple here and there all year from AJ," Peter said, rubbing his arms.

"Nice work," James said. He had just reached over to take a firework from the crate and properly examine it when there was a tapping at the window.

There were two owls. One was Hippolyta, James' gray owl, carrying a small package, and the other was a grumpy-looking horned owl that James was not familiar with, carrying a much larger package.

Sirius let the owls in and they flew directly to James, demanding to be relieved of their mail carrying duties. Hippolyta calmly returned to her perch and drank some water when James took the package from his parents from her. The horned owl hooted indignantly as James untied his package, and once released nearly crashed straight into Sirius out of spite before heading out the window.

"Who sent that mental thing?" Sirius said, suddenly more alert after the spook of almost being target practice for an owl.

"Dorcas," James said, reading the card attached to the package. "That must have been Bubba, she said he only likes her brother."

"What did your lady love send, then?" Remus asked.

"Can you open it in front of us?" Peter said scandalously.

"What do you think she sent, Worm?" Sirius snorted.

"I don't know, naughty photos," Peter shrugged. "Vance has a camera."

"Bit heavy for photos," James said, holding the box in his hands.

" _Lots_  of naughty photos," Peter nodded.

"Hi, Vance, can I borrow your camera to take about a hundred inappropriate pictures for my idiot boyfriend?" Sirius said, imitating Dorcas with surprising skill. "Yeah  _that_  sounds like something Meadowes would do."

Remus laughed. "Oh yeah, completely in-character."

"It's fudge!" James said, seeming only slightly disappointed that Peter's theory was incorrect upon opening the package. "There's another note inside, says 'Sorry for sending it so early, my housemates kept almost eating it. Enjoy!'"

"Oh, we will, Meadowes, we will," Sirius said, reaching to take a piece. James pulled it out of his reach.

"Get your own girlfriend that makes homemade fudge," James said.

"Excuse you," Sirius said, hand to his heart, insulted.

"Sorry, get your own girlfriend  _or boyfriend_  that makes homemade fudge," James clarified. Peter had snuck up behind James and snatched a few pieces from the box. "Hey!"

"Catch, Pads!" Peter called, tossing a piece his way. It was a poor throw, but Sirius managed to catch it anyway. Peter handed another piece to Remus before eating a third piece himself.

James rolled his eyes. "Fine, but the rest of the fudge is  _mine._ "

" _Touchy,_ " Sirius said, mouth full of fudge. "You've got a Quidditch game coming up, I think she might be trying to sabotage you with baked goods, Mate."

"Mm, good sabotage," Remus nodded in approval as he chewed. "What did your parents send, then?"

"Let's see," James said, setting aside the card for now in favor of opening the package. He revealed a small ring with a blue stone and eyed it curiously.

"Is it an heirloom or something?" Sirius asked. It didn't look old.

"I don't think so, let me look at the card," James said, tearing open the envelope. "Dear James, let's see, sentimental stuff, telling me all about when I was born, typical parent birthday stuff—ah! 'Please enjoy your gift, we have been assured that it is all the rage with the muggles your age.'"

"Wait, wait, let me see the box," Remus said, sticking the rest of his fudge in his mouth before reaching over. James handed him the box and Remus pulled out a piece of paper that James hadn't noticed before. Remus covered his mouth as he snorted a bit, mid-chew. "They got you a mood ring."

"… a  _what?"_  James said. Remus handed the piece of paper to James to reveal a color chart and corresponding emotions. James curiously put the ring on his pinky and eyed it as it turned blue. "Looks like I'm calm?"

"Oh wow, glad you have a ring to tell you that," Sirius said with a laugh.

"It just changes based on your temperature," Remus said. "My mum tried one on and it was always black because her hands are like ice."

"Now, now, Moony, maybe your mum was just always…" Peter said, reaching over to take the color chart. "Anxious. All the time."

"I mean, could be," Remus shrugged. "Having a werewolf as a kid does that. But also, those stones just react to body heat."

"Let me see it," Sirius said. James handed him the ring and Sirius slid it on one of his fingers, watching as it settled on a color. "What's this one mean?"

"Uneasy," Peter said, glancing from the ring to the paper.

"Does 'hungry' fall under that category? Because I'm hungry, let's go get breakfast," Sirius said.

"Give me my ring back," James said.

"But how will I know when I'm happy?"

"It's just body heat!"


End file.
